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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:03:35,623 --> 00:03:39,559 Frank, why don't you admit that you're lying about this? 2 00:03:39,594 --> 00:03:42,085 - Why would I lie about this? - So then you would lie. 3 00:03:42,130 --> 00:03:43,256 I didn't say I would lie. 4 00:03:43,298 --> 00:03:45,266 You just said, "Why would I lie about this?" 5 00:03:45,300 --> 00:03:47,632 From which it can be inferred that there are things... 6 00:03:47,669 --> 00:03:50,763 No, no, no. Wait a minute. 7 00:03:50,805 --> 00:03:53,103 Let's assume that somewhere, some time in my life... 8 00:03:53,141 --> 00:03:55,041 I have told a lie, OK? 9 00:03:55,076 --> 00:03:57,670 Does that mean I'm lying now? 10 00:03:57,712 --> 00:04:00,545 All right, so let me just get this straight. 11 00:04:00,582 --> 00:04:01,947 By all means. Just... 12 00:04:01,983 --> 00:04:05,475 You're telling me that your mother... 13 00:04:05,520 --> 00:04:07,920 had sexual intercourse with Frank Sinatra, 14 00:04:07,956 --> 00:04:09,355 and that's why you're named Frank? 15 00:04:09,390 --> 00:04:10,584 That's right. 16 00:04:14,362 --> 00:04:17,297 - Uh-huh. - What? 17 00:04:17,332 --> 00:04:18,629 And your father? 18 00:04:18,666 --> 00:04:20,566 He never slept with Sinatra. It was just my mother. 19 00:04:20,602 --> 00:04:23,093 Does your father know about this? 20 00:04:23,137 --> 00:04:25,833 He's the one who told me. I think he knows. 21 00:04:25,873 --> 00:04:30,003 I can always tell when you're bullshitting. 22 00:04:30,044 --> 00:04:32,478 No, you can't. That's why I always beat you in poker. 23 00:04:32,513 --> 00:04:33,673 You never beat me in poker. 24 00:04:33,715 --> 00:04:35,012 - He always does. - He doesn't. 25 00:04:35,049 --> 00:04:38,212 He always beats you and you come home all pissed off. 26 00:04:38,252 --> 00:04:39,651 Does he? 27 00:04:39,687 --> 00:04:42,019 Don't be jumping into this. He doesn't need your help. 28 00:04:42,056 --> 00:04:45,389 - He comes home crying to mommy. - You do, sweetie! 29 00:04:47,095 --> 00:04:48,756 Why does this happen to me? 30 00:04:48,796 --> 00:04:50,491 You're always teaming up with him. 31 00:04:50,531 --> 00:04:52,294 You're supposed to be on my side. 32 00:04:52,333 --> 00:04:56,133 But then I would always be wrong, too. 33 00:04:56,170 --> 00:04:58,331 You don't even know what we're talking about here. 34 00:04:58,373 --> 00:05:00,603 Frank was named after Frank Sinatra. 35 00:05:00,642 --> 00:05:02,269 - That's right. - Yeah. 36 00:05:02,310 --> 00:05:04,005 You mean, you didn't know that? 37 00:05:06,814 --> 00:05:09,681 Did I ever tell you what my middle name was, Joe? 38 00:05:09,717 --> 00:05:12,083 Let me guess: Sammy, right? 39 00:05:12,120 --> 00:05:14,247 Your mom did the wild thing with the Candy Man, too? 40 00:05:14,288 --> 00:05:17,086 That's amazing. It's Franklin Samuel. 41 00:05:17,125 --> 00:05:19,958 You guys are really funny. 42 00:05:50,892 --> 00:05:52,223 Hey. 43 00:05:54,162 --> 00:05:56,323 You all right? 44 00:05:56,364 --> 00:05:58,423 Yeah. I'm hung over. 45 00:05:58,466 --> 00:05:59,728 I can't believe I have to face... 46 00:05:59,767 --> 00:06:02,861 a class full of eight-year-olds tomorrow. 47 00:06:02,904 --> 00:06:04,872 So take the day off. 48 00:06:04,906 --> 00:06:06,897 Frank, I just took the week off. 49 00:06:06,941 --> 00:06:09,876 What's one more day going to hurt? 50 00:06:09,911 --> 00:06:13,039 Someday you'll have a job, and then you'll understand. 51 00:06:13,081 --> 00:06:14,946 I've had a job before. 52 00:06:30,131 --> 00:06:32,031 I don't even know if I do. 53 00:06:33,668 --> 00:06:36,102 - What's that? - A little present. 54 00:06:36,137 --> 00:06:37,798 What, for me? 55 00:06:37,839 --> 00:06:40,603 After all these years, you're still spoiling me like this? 56 00:06:40,641 --> 00:06:42,370 If you don't want it, I can give it to Frank. 57 00:06:42,410 --> 00:06:45,607 - I'll take it. - No, it's mine. 58 00:06:45,646 --> 00:06:48,547 Unless it's a jawbreaker. Then you can have it. 59 00:06:48,583 --> 00:06:49,880 Thank you. 60 00:06:49,917 --> 00:06:54,081 It's a ring. That's so sweet. 61 00:06:54,122 --> 00:06:55,680 Yeah. 62 00:06:55,723 --> 00:06:59,682 - It's about time, pumpkinhead. - It really is about time. 63 00:06:59,727 --> 00:07:02,127 When are we going to set the wedding? 64 00:07:04,532 --> 00:07:07,194 - How about May? - May. That's nice. 65 00:07:07,235 --> 00:07:09,430 May wedding. What do you think, Frank? 66 00:07:09,470 --> 00:07:12,337 May works for me. I'm off the whole month. 67 00:07:12,373 --> 00:07:13,863 It'd give me a little time to shop. 68 00:07:13,908 --> 00:07:19,244 I guess all that's left is for you to ask me officially. 69 00:07:19,280 --> 00:07:20,542 OK. 70 00:07:25,586 --> 00:07:31,354 Sarah, if this ring will do until I can afford a real one... 71 00:07:33,194 --> 00:07:34,923 It's not funny anymore. 72 00:07:34,962 --> 00:07:37,123 It's not meant to be. 73 00:07:39,867 --> 00:07:42,028 Will you marry me? 74 00:07:50,578 --> 00:07:52,569 Well, say yes. 75 00:08:01,789 --> 00:08:05,885 OK. OK, yes. Yes. 76 00:08:09,697 --> 00:08:11,824 About goddamn time! 77 00:08:14,168 --> 00:08:17,797 Is there anyone present who knows a reason... 78 00:08:17,839 --> 00:08:22,606 why these two should not be joined in holy matrimony? 79 00:08:22,643 --> 00:08:26,704 Speak now or forever hold your peace. 80 00:08:28,416 --> 00:08:30,475 Come on. Isn't anybody going to help me out here? 81 00:08:30,518 --> 00:08:33,043 You better not do that tomorrow. 82 00:08:33,087 --> 00:08:35,078 You're just going to have to wait and see. 83 00:08:35,122 --> 00:08:36,350 I'll kill you. 84 00:08:39,694 --> 00:08:42,822 And now, according to the power vested in me, 85 00:08:42,864 --> 00:08:47,858 I declare this rehearsal over, and amen. 86 00:08:47,902 --> 00:08:49,529 Hi, Sarah. Hi, Joseph. 87 00:08:49,570 --> 00:08:52,869 You know, I just want to say congratulations, 88 00:08:52,907 --> 00:08:55,375 and I know I've teased you both... 89 00:08:55,409 --> 00:08:58,242 about the pitfalls of marriage throughout the years, 90 00:08:58,279 --> 00:09:00,804 but I just wanted to say... 91 00:09:00,848 --> 00:09:03,373 why didn't you listen? 92 00:09:03,417 --> 00:09:06,818 It's not too late. You've been shacking up for years. 93 00:09:06,854 --> 00:09:09,345 It worked out perfectly. I got a tankful of gas. 94 00:09:09,390 --> 00:09:12,553 We can head to the Mexican border right now. 95 00:09:12,593 --> 00:09:15,858 Duane and I would just like to wish you... 96 00:09:15,897 --> 00:09:20,129 all of the happiness and joy in the world. 97 00:09:20,167 --> 00:09:23,295 Yes. Marriage - it's a beautiful thing. 98 00:09:23,337 --> 00:09:27,239 Sarah, it's a big day tomorrow. 99 00:09:30,778 --> 00:09:34,270 I know you and Joseph will be very happy together. 100 00:09:35,917 --> 00:09:37,646 You're a great catch. 101 00:09:37,685 --> 00:09:42,054 I don't know you that well, but I've known you long enough. 102 00:09:42,089 --> 00:09:44,580 We've never really gotten into any deep conversations, 103 00:09:44,625 --> 00:09:48,652 but I consider you a friend. 104 00:09:48,696 --> 00:09:52,689 And Joseph's an old friend. And I just want you to know... 105 00:09:52,733 --> 00:09:56,567 that I think you two are going to be very happy together... 106 00:09:56,604 --> 00:09:59,402 and make a wonderful couple. 107 00:09:59,440 --> 00:10:01,635 Do you have something to say to Joseph... 108 00:10:01,676 --> 00:10:05,112 on the eve of the most important day of his adult life? 109 00:10:05,146 --> 00:10:09,082 I think it's great they're in love and everything. 110 00:10:09,116 --> 00:10:13,212 Congratulations, I guess, are in order. 111 00:10:13,254 --> 00:10:16,348 Make sure you have me over for dinner a lot. 112 00:10:16,390 --> 00:10:17,914 The thing about marriage, though, man... 113 00:10:17,959 --> 00:10:22,020 it's not like poker where you're sitting at a table... 114 00:10:22,063 --> 00:10:24,998 and you've got a bad streak going - 115 00:10:25,032 --> 00:10:26,966 you can just walk away, get out of there. 116 00:10:27,001 --> 00:10:30,368 But, you know, marriage is... You got to stay there. 117 00:10:30,404 --> 00:10:33,100 And you keep getting bad hands and losing money... 118 00:10:33,140 --> 00:10:34,835 and you lose and you lose and you lose... 119 00:10:34,875 --> 00:10:38,333 and it can break you, and you can leave with nothing. 120 00:10:38,379 --> 00:10:42,839 Here's the portrait of a successful marriage. 121 00:10:42,883 --> 00:10:46,910 Amy, could you tell Joseph and Sarah... 122 00:10:46,954 --> 00:10:52,915 what has been the key to your successful bond? 123 00:10:52,960 --> 00:10:54,757 Forgiveness. 124 00:10:56,063 --> 00:11:00,500 You have to learn to forgive and forget. 125 00:11:00,534 --> 00:11:04,561 Are there any specifics you'd like to go into... 126 00:11:04,605 --> 00:11:08,439 in terms of exercising forgiveness? 127 00:11:09,844 --> 00:11:11,835 There's a little forgiveness muscle... 128 00:11:11,879 --> 00:11:13,972 and very few people know about it. 129 00:11:14,015 --> 00:11:15,983 If you don't have it, you're in trouble. 130 00:11:16,017 --> 00:11:18,884 That's right. And we've got a little machine at home... 131 00:11:18,919 --> 00:11:22,787 that exercises that forgiveness muscle. 132 00:11:22,823 --> 00:11:25,656 - Really? - I'll show you ours. 133 00:11:25,693 --> 00:11:27,558 If you'll show me yours. 134 00:11:28,963 --> 00:11:30,590 OK. 135 00:11:37,805 --> 00:11:41,901 How have you avoided getting hooked? 136 00:11:41,942 --> 00:11:43,933 How? 137 00:11:43,978 --> 00:11:47,436 I don't know. I never met a woman like Sarah. 138 00:11:47,481 --> 00:11:51,417 What about that cover girl/actress you were seeing? 139 00:11:51,452 --> 00:11:52,749 What the hell was her name? 140 00:11:52,787 --> 00:11:53,913 Marianne. 141 00:11:53,954 --> 00:11:56,047 Marianne. Whoo, boy! 142 00:11:56,090 --> 00:11:58,490 You should've married her, man. She was fucking gorgeous. 143 00:11:58,526 --> 00:11:59,925 She was beautiful. 144 00:11:59,960 --> 00:12:02,053 Only problem was, once I ran out of ways to tell her that, 145 00:12:02,096 --> 00:12:04,496 the relationship sort of fizzled. 146 00:12:04,532 --> 00:12:06,693 But she was beautiful. 147 00:12:06,734 --> 00:12:09,396 Well, to the ones that got away. 148 00:12:09,437 --> 00:12:12,372 How about to the one... 149 00:12:12,406 --> 00:12:13,930 - Hi. - Hi. 150 00:12:13,974 --> 00:12:15,441 ...who didn't? 151 00:12:15,476 --> 00:12:16,636 Hear, hear. 152 00:12:21,215 --> 00:12:22,705 Strong enough? 153 00:12:22,750 --> 00:12:25,082 We're running a little short on the bloody marriage mix. 154 00:12:25,119 --> 00:12:28,020 Bloody Mary. Bloody Mary. 155 00:12:28,055 --> 00:12:31,513 - Right. - Right. 156 00:12:31,559 --> 00:12:33,493 You guys do have a certain glow about you. 157 00:12:33,527 --> 00:12:35,757 Doesn't she? She's a saint, too. 158 00:12:35,796 --> 00:12:37,627 Please. 159 00:12:40,401 --> 00:12:42,460 I'm marrying the most beautiful woman in the world! 160 00:12:42,503 --> 00:12:44,630 - Please, stop. - No, not even just the world... 161 00:12:44,672 --> 00:12:46,401 the entire universe! 162 00:12:47,541 --> 00:12:49,202 I can hardly wait till we're married. 163 00:12:49,243 --> 00:12:50,403 Why? 164 00:12:50,444 --> 00:12:52,969 Because I never have to have sex with you again. 165 00:12:56,383 --> 00:12:57,748 A toast! 166 00:12:59,386 --> 00:13:01,183 To the bachelor's life! 167 00:13:02,490 --> 00:13:05,425 No. I'm kidding. All right, to marriage. 168 00:13:05,459 --> 00:13:07,393 Yeah. To marriage. 169 00:13:07,428 --> 00:13:10,022 - To our marriage. - To our marriage. 170 00:13:11,332 --> 00:13:13,994 - And to our friends. - Yeah! 171 00:13:14,034 --> 00:13:16,935 To the bride and groom. 172 00:13:16,971 --> 00:13:20,031 May they treat each other as well as they've treated me. 173 00:13:20,074 --> 00:13:21,234 Hear, hear. 174 00:13:24,044 --> 00:13:26,069 Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! 175 00:13:26,113 --> 00:13:28,513 Go! Go! Go! 176 00:13:28,549 --> 00:13:30,983 That's mature, Joseph. 177 00:13:35,189 --> 00:13:36,781 Excuse me. 178 00:13:39,460 --> 00:13:40,688 Hi. 179 00:13:43,898 --> 00:13:46,332 Jesus. You'll be all right, Joey. 180 00:13:46,367 --> 00:13:49,165 It's not so bad. It's only the rehearsal. 181 00:13:49,203 --> 00:13:50,864 Remember our wedding, honey? 182 00:13:50,905 --> 00:13:53,430 We got so stoned I fell down her mother's stairs. 183 00:13:53,474 --> 00:13:56,238 Yeah, that was great, Duane. 184 00:13:56,277 --> 00:13:57,801 - I'm all right. - Let's get out of here. 185 00:13:57,845 --> 00:14:00,405 - You OK? - Yeah. 186 00:14:00,447 --> 00:14:03,177 God, Joseph, don't you ever chew your food? 187 00:14:03,217 --> 00:14:04,844 Shut up, Nigel. 188 00:14:10,391 --> 00:14:12,825 Haven't seen much of you lately. 189 00:14:14,862 --> 00:14:16,796 Got a girl? 190 00:14:16,830 --> 00:14:19,355 - A couple. - Oh, a couple. 191 00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:22,528 - Do they know that? - I'm pretty obvious. 192 00:14:24,271 --> 00:14:26,330 I've been thinking about moving back east. 193 00:14:26,373 --> 00:14:27,567 Why? 194 00:14:27,608 --> 00:14:30,771 I don't know. Things have just... 195 00:14:30,811 --> 00:14:33,541 I don't know. I get headaches out here. 196 00:14:33,581 --> 00:14:36,106 Everybody gets headaches. It's the smog. 197 00:14:36,150 --> 00:14:37,344 Yeah. 198 00:14:54,468 --> 00:14:58,131 You know that first time that Joe and I broke up? 199 00:15:00,074 --> 00:15:01,769 Which first time? 200 00:15:01,809 --> 00:15:05,506 The first, first time. 201 00:15:05,546 --> 00:15:07,377 Why are you laughing? The first, first time. 202 00:15:07,414 --> 00:15:09,041 - Oh, the first, first time! - Yeah. 203 00:15:09,083 --> 00:15:10,812 I'm sorry. 204 00:15:10,851 --> 00:15:15,845 Anyway, that first, first time Joe and I broke up, 205 00:15:15,889 --> 00:15:18,915 I almost went after you. 206 00:15:20,995 --> 00:15:23,896 - Get out of here. - I did. I did. 207 00:15:26,867 --> 00:15:29,301 You mean, after me, after me? 208 00:15:29,336 --> 00:15:31,531 After you. 209 00:15:31,572 --> 00:15:34,268 I guess it's lucky I was shy. 210 00:15:34,308 --> 00:15:37,607 It would be pretty uncomfortable now, wouldn't it? 211 00:15:37,645 --> 00:15:39,306 We would have gotten over it. 212 00:15:41,749 --> 00:15:44,217 Joey would have thought it was all about him... 213 00:15:44,251 --> 00:15:46,048 and once we got back together... 214 00:15:46,086 --> 00:15:49,078 he would have used it to get off the hook... 215 00:15:49,123 --> 00:15:52,092 for whoever he'd been screwing with. 216 00:15:52,126 --> 00:15:53,650 But what about me? 217 00:15:53,694 --> 00:15:57,186 He would've tried to punch you, but... 218 00:15:57,231 --> 00:16:00,598 then you both would've gone off together and gotten drunk. 219 00:16:04,705 --> 00:16:06,536 You're probably right. 220 00:16:06,573 --> 00:16:09,667 Yeah, I know my men. 221 00:16:10,844 --> 00:16:13,108 What about you and me? 222 00:16:13,147 --> 00:16:17,140 Us? We would've been fine. 223 00:16:18,552 --> 00:16:19,780 You sure? 224 00:16:19,820 --> 00:16:22,653 Frank... come here. 225 00:16:33,767 --> 00:16:37,168 See? We're still friends. 226 00:16:46,080 --> 00:16:48,571 Poker, poker, poker! 227 00:16:49,850 --> 00:16:52,216 He can still look. A man can still look. 228 00:16:52,252 --> 00:16:55,346 That was no look. That was an unadulterated ogle. 229 00:16:55,389 --> 00:16:57,857 - OK, I ogled. - At your own wedding, Joe? 230 00:16:57,891 --> 00:16:59,620 That's to you, Ror. 231 00:16:59,660 --> 00:17:02,356 - To be or not to be... - She was worthy of the ogle. 232 00:17:02,396 --> 00:17:04,125 Come on, Joe, at your own wedding. 233 00:17:04,164 --> 00:17:05,426 You were ogling Sarah. 234 00:17:05,466 --> 00:17:06,660 - I was not. - You were. 235 00:17:06,700 --> 00:17:08,998 I was, shamelessly. 236 00:17:09,036 --> 00:17:11,630 We all were. Why do you think they wear white? 237 00:17:11,672 --> 00:17:13,512 So you can imagine them as virginal and pure... 238 00:17:13,540 --> 00:17:15,098 and then fantasize about defiling them. 239 00:17:15,142 --> 00:17:17,975 - You want to defile my wife? - For old times' sake. 240 00:17:18,011 --> 00:17:19,205 We're playing poker here, fellas. 241 00:17:19,246 --> 00:17:22,181 I didn't fantasize about Deborah at your wedding. 242 00:17:22,216 --> 00:17:24,684 - Neither did I. Anyone? - No. 243 00:17:24,718 --> 00:17:27,949 I really love these stimulating intellectual discussions, 244 00:17:27,988 --> 00:17:30,422 but can we please get through a fucking hand? 245 00:17:30,457 --> 00:17:32,482 - Rory! - Just a second. 246 00:17:32,526 --> 00:17:34,426 It's a fucking quarter. 247 00:17:34,461 --> 00:17:37,021 - No. That's not the point. - Here's a quarter. 248 00:17:37,064 --> 00:17:39,430 - Rory's in. - No. No! 249 00:17:39,466 --> 00:17:41,764 - What have you got there? - Four aces. 250 00:17:41,802 --> 00:17:43,770 - Bet or don't bet. - Just a second. 251 00:17:43,804 --> 00:17:45,032 OK, Rory's out. 252 00:17:45,072 --> 00:17:47,768 No, wait a minute! I'm in! Jesus! 253 00:17:49,009 --> 00:17:52,001 You live on the edge. I call. Show your cards. 254 00:17:52,045 --> 00:17:53,637 - Three tens. - I'm slaughtered. 255 00:17:53,680 --> 00:17:55,477 Straight. 256 00:17:55,516 --> 00:17:56,744 I'm out. 257 00:17:56,784 --> 00:17:59,617 Straight, queen high. What do you got, Rory? 258 00:17:59,653 --> 00:18:02,315 - Nothing. - You got to show. 259 00:18:02,356 --> 00:18:03,653 I don't beat a straight. 260 00:18:03,690 --> 00:18:05,419 I called you. You've got to show your cards. 261 00:18:05,459 --> 00:18:07,984 - What's it to you? - It's the rules. 262 00:18:08,028 --> 00:18:10,622 It's a game. 263 00:18:10,664 --> 00:18:12,859 Ante up. 264 00:18:12,900 --> 00:18:15,562 A pair of queens? You stayed in with a pair of fucking queens? 265 00:18:15,602 --> 00:18:17,331 Alas, poor Yorick. 266 00:18:17,371 --> 00:18:18,861 What do you get so damn serious about? 267 00:18:18,906 --> 00:18:20,498 Because it drives me fucking crazy. 268 00:18:20,541 --> 00:18:22,839 - In Vegas... - The Vegas speech! 269 00:18:22,876 --> 00:18:24,366 In Las Vegas, Nevada, 270 00:18:24,411 --> 00:18:26,311 they understand the rhythm of the deal... 271 00:18:26,346 --> 00:18:28,143 and the sanctity of the game. 272 00:18:28,182 --> 00:18:33,085 Deal, Duane. One game - seven-card stud. Pure. 273 00:18:33,120 --> 00:18:35,520 They play it over and over. You feel it, 274 00:18:35,556 --> 00:18:37,717 like the lap of the ocean against the shore. 275 00:18:37,758 --> 00:18:40,852 You sit in silence, study strategies. 276 00:18:40,894 --> 00:18:43,328 None of this banter... Whose dick is bigger than whose? 277 00:18:43,363 --> 00:18:44,921 When's the fucking pizza coming? 278 00:18:44,965 --> 00:18:47,525 When is the fucking pizza coming? 279 00:18:51,205 --> 00:18:52,331 Quarter. 280 00:18:52,372 --> 00:18:55,398 See it, raise it. 281 00:18:56,844 --> 00:18:58,141 See that, raise that. 282 00:18:58,178 --> 00:18:59,839 See that, raise that. 283 00:18:59,880 --> 00:19:02,007 I'll see that quarter and raise you another. 284 00:19:02,049 --> 00:19:03,243 And another. 285 00:19:03,283 --> 00:19:05,046 What the hell have you got there? 286 00:19:05,085 --> 00:19:07,212 Not much, apparently. 287 00:19:07,254 --> 00:19:09,188 Joseph here gets two aces early on... 288 00:19:09,223 --> 00:19:10,781 with nothing underneath to back it up. 289 00:19:10,824 --> 00:19:12,291 Table talk. 290 00:19:12,326 --> 00:19:13,793 Thinks he's going to chase everybody out, 291 00:19:13,827 --> 00:19:15,488 which he does, but I do not balk. 292 00:19:15,529 --> 00:19:19,226 - Table talk. - So, now he's got two pair... 293 00:19:19,266 --> 00:19:21,291 and nothing else. 294 00:19:21,335 --> 00:19:23,997 And me, I started out with a pair here, 295 00:19:24,037 --> 00:19:26,505 which I have now turned into three of a kind... 296 00:19:26,540 --> 00:19:27,905 with this card here. Voila. 297 00:19:27,941 --> 00:19:31,069 - Oh! - You can't do that! 298 00:19:31,111 --> 00:19:33,477 Sure I can, Joe. It's to your advantage. 299 00:19:33,514 --> 00:19:35,539 It is to your advantage. 300 00:19:35,582 --> 00:19:38,244 So, now Joe's looking for a long shot full house... 301 00:19:38,285 --> 00:19:41,948 and I'm looking for a full house or a fourth nine... 302 00:19:41,989 --> 00:19:44,150 of which I noticed none showed up in the deal. 303 00:19:44,191 --> 00:19:46,523 Am I confident? Yes. 304 00:19:46,560 --> 00:19:48,687 Big man. Real mature. 305 00:19:48,729 --> 00:19:50,754 See you, raise you. 306 00:19:50,797 --> 00:19:54,358 Well, I'll just see you. 307 00:19:54,401 --> 00:19:57,564 I perceive a homoerotic subtext here. 308 00:19:57,604 --> 00:19:59,003 Deal, Duane. 309 00:20:00,207 --> 00:20:01,731 Down and dirty. 310 00:20:07,114 --> 00:20:11,847 Bet's to you, Joe, and whatever you bet... 311 00:20:11,885 --> 00:20:13,375 I'm going to bet forty bucks. 312 00:20:13,420 --> 00:20:15,217 You can't do that. 313 00:20:15,255 --> 00:20:17,621 - Sure I can. - No limit. 314 00:20:17,658 --> 00:20:19,523 - But it's my bet. - Then bet. 315 00:20:19,560 --> 00:20:20,925 Then you're just going to raise. 316 00:20:20,961 --> 00:20:22,588 Then you know what I'm going to do. 317 00:20:22,629 --> 00:20:24,062 I don't think he's got his full house. 318 00:20:24,097 --> 00:20:25,291 Think what you want to think, 319 00:20:25,332 --> 00:20:27,664 but there is such a thing as poker etiquette! 320 00:20:27,701 --> 00:20:29,566 No table talk, no betting out of order. 321 00:20:29,603 --> 00:20:31,298 I've been saying this for months. 322 00:20:31,338 --> 00:20:32,805 You'd be shot in Vegas, right? 323 00:20:32,839 --> 00:20:34,363 Yes, Frank would be shot in Vegas. 324 00:20:34,408 --> 00:20:36,603 - It's not Vegas, Joe. - But am I right? 325 00:20:36,643 --> 00:20:38,611 Yes, and God will punish him. You're in or out. 326 00:20:38,645 --> 00:20:40,374 You're out of line. 327 00:20:40,414 --> 00:20:42,382 - You know the line? - You know the line. 328 00:20:42,416 --> 00:20:45,317 Guys, can you finish the fucking hand? 329 00:20:45,352 --> 00:20:47,616 Fifty cents. 330 00:20:48,655 --> 00:20:51,419 - Forty dollars. - Fuck this. Cash me out. 331 00:20:51,458 --> 00:20:53,221 - Come on, Joe. - Joseph. 332 00:20:53,260 --> 00:20:54,989 Fuck you guys. No, no. 333 00:20:55,028 --> 00:20:57,588 Frank's Mr. Big Stud, flipping cards, betting high. 334 00:20:57,631 --> 00:21:00,122 He called the hand. He won. You happy, Frank? 335 00:21:05,439 --> 00:21:08,897 There are our lovely hosts now. How are you doing? 336 00:21:08,942 --> 00:21:10,910 Does Frank want a wienie? 337 00:21:10,944 --> 00:21:13,105 Frank's been a wienie for a long time. 338 00:21:13,146 --> 00:21:15,171 - Is that mine? - No, it's mine. 339 00:21:15,215 --> 00:21:18,412 - Don't break it, mate. - I won't. See you later. 340 00:21:18,452 --> 00:21:20,215 Bye. 341 00:21:21,388 --> 00:21:22,616 Now, what's this? 342 00:21:22,656 --> 00:21:24,248 I asked you to watch her. 343 00:21:24,291 --> 00:21:26,259 Fuck you. What am I, your slave? 344 00:21:26,293 --> 00:21:28,921 Family feud. Are you guys fighting? 345 00:21:28,962 --> 00:21:32,159 Hi, Frank. Look, honey. Your friend... 346 00:21:32,199 --> 00:21:34,326 She was over by the pool all by herself. 347 00:21:34,368 --> 00:21:36,233 You said you'd watch her. 348 00:21:36,269 --> 00:21:39,067 You guys might want to think about counseling. 349 00:21:39,106 --> 00:21:41,574 - Frank. - Bye, Frank. 350 00:21:41,608 --> 00:21:44,771 OK. Sorry about that. 351 00:21:44,811 --> 00:21:46,369 Hello. 352 00:21:46,413 --> 00:21:49,507 Hi, guys. 353 00:21:49,549 --> 00:21:52,814 Hey, hey, hey. 354 00:21:52,853 --> 00:21:56,050 Lauren, we're being harassed by some guy with a camera. 355 00:21:56,089 --> 00:21:58,148 I'm not harassing anybody. 356 00:21:58,191 --> 00:22:00,659 He's not harassing anyone, he says. 357 00:22:00,694 --> 00:22:02,423 What are you doing here? 358 00:22:02,462 --> 00:22:04,396 I'm taking your picture. 359 00:22:04,431 --> 00:22:06,422 He's over here trying to get pictures... 360 00:22:06,466 --> 00:22:09,026 of half-naked girls without any make-up on. 361 00:22:09,069 --> 00:22:10,969 Come on. Be nice. 362 00:22:11,004 --> 00:22:12,665 What's this for? 363 00:22:12,706 --> 00:22:16,506 - It's for... - Personal use? 364 00:22:16,543 --> 00:22:18,204 Is it about something? 365 00:22:18,245 --> 00:22:19,473 It's for personal use. 366 00:22:19,513 --> 00:22:22,073 Are you doing it so you can stare at us later? 367 00:22:22,115 --> 00:22:23,343 It's about the party. 368 00:22:23,383 --> 00:22:25,317 Really? That sounds boring. 369 00:22:25,352 --> 00:22:28,446 - It's also about me. - That would be interesting. 370 00:22:28,488 --> 00:22:30,183 - You think so? - Yeah. 371 00:22:30,223 --> 00:22:33,124 I think it would be interesting. 372 00:22:33,160 --> 00:22:35,492 Give me the camera. I want to do you. 373 00:22:35,529 --> 00:22:38,089 - Why? - Because I like you. 374 00:22:38,131 --> 00:22:40,122 I don't think I want to give it to you. 375 00:22:40,167 --> 00:22:42,965 Oh, no, no, no! 376 00:22:43,003 --> 00:22:44,994 Don't film me. 377 00:22:45,038 --> 00:22:47,404 Now... is it on? 378 00:22:47,441 --> 00:22:49,500 Is this thing on? 379 00:22:49,543 --> 00:22:52,205 - Do you see me? - Yeah. 380 00:22:52,245 --> 00:22:53,735 Then it's on. 381 00:22:53,780 --> 00:22:57,079 OK. Right, right. 382 00:22:57,117 --> 00:22:59,847 Tell us about your life. 383 00:22:59,886 --> 00:23:01,717 This actually wasn't about me. 384 00:23:01,755 --> 00:23:04,053 It's actually about the party out there. 385 00:23:04,091 --> 00:23:05,786 Tell us about your life anyway. 386 00:23:05,826 --> 00:23:07,726 Why don't you film... 387 00:23:08,995 --> 00:23:10,587 All right, I admit it. 388 00:23:10,630 --> 00:23:12,461 I don't have a life. 389 00:23:12,499 --> 00:23:13,989 You're breaking my heart. 390 00:23:14,034 --> 00:23:17,128 Are you one of those cynical people? 391 00:23:17,170 --> 00:23:21,436 No. More like bitter. 392 00:23:21,475 --> 00:23:24,069 Really? Why is that? 393 00:23:24,111 --> 00:23:26,170 I don't know. I'm just... 394 00:23:26,213 --> 00:23:28,807 It must be a girl. It's always a girl. 395 00:23:28,849 --> 00:23:32,808 - Lauren, you're a goddess! - Female prophet. 396 00:23:32,853 --> 00:23:35,686 You're a woman's woman. You know, girl. 397 00:23:35,722 --> 00:23:37,087 - Is it? - What? 398 00:23:37,124 --> 00:23:39,592 - A girl. - No. 399 00:23:39,626 --> 00:23:41,287 I think it is a girl. 400 00:23:41,328 --> 00:23:43,262 We have a girl problem here. 401 00:23:43,296 --> 00:23:44,923 Why is it that girls always think... 402 00:23:44,965 --> 00:23:50,062 Did you love her and then she left you? 403 00:23:50,103 --> 00:23:52,230 I told you there is no problem. 404 00:23:52,272 --> 00:23:54,240 Oh, yeah. I don't believe you. 405 00:23:54,274 --> 00:23:57,732 Hi, sweetie. You making new friends? 406 00:23:57,778 --> 00:24:00,576 Hi. Are you making a movie? 407 00:24:00,614 --> 00:24:03,708 No, we're not. He is. We're just helping out. 408 00:24:03,750 --> 00:24:05,741 Do you have a statement to make? 409 00:24:05,786 --> 00:24:07,879 No, I don't think so. 410 00:24:07,921 --> 00:24:10,253 I think you better keep on filming him. 411 00:24:10,290 --> 00:24:12,315 Make your peace with your public. 412 00:24:12,359 --> 00:24:13,656 Sorry. Bye. 413 00:24:13,693 --> 00:24:15,183 Walk that runway, girl. 414 00:24:15,228 --> 00:24:17,594 Work that vest. There you go. 415 00:24:17,631 --> 00:24:19,189 - Is that her? - Who? 416 00:24:19,232 --> 00:24:21,063 The girl who left you? 417 00:24:21,101 --> 00:24:23,501 There's no girl. Give me the camera. 418 00:24:23,537 --> 00:24:26,802 I think that's somebody who hasn't been returning my calls. 419 00:24:26,840 --> 00:24:28,102 Because I'm mad at you. 420 00:24:28,141 --> 00:24:29,699 - Why? - You piss me off. 421 00:24:29,743 --> 00:24:32,371 What do you mean, I piss you off? 422 00:24:32,412 --> 00:24:35,540 You got to watch out for that unresolved resentment. 423 00:24:35,582 --> 00:24:38,551 It can cause diseases. I'm sure you've heard that. 424 00:24:38,585 --> 00:24:40,177 Have you thought of therapy? 425 00:24:40,220 --> 00:24:41,847 I'm in therapy twice a week. 426 00:24:41,888 --> 00:24:43,219 - You're kidding me. - No. 427 00:24:43,256 --> 00:24:44,553 What do you talk about? 428 00:24:44,591 --> 00:24:46,957 All we talk about is you - it's weird - 429 00:24:46,993 --> 00:24:49,894 and what a dick you are but how much I like you anyway. 430 00:24:49,930 --> 00:24:51,454 That makes me feel a lot better. 431 00:24:51,498 --> 00:24:53,489 - Whose camera is that? - It's mine. 432 00:24:53,533 --> 00:24:54,932 That's not your camera. 433 00:24:54,968 --> 00:24:57,402 You can't afford that because you're such a loser. 434 00:24:57,437 --> 00:24:59,428 Why don't you eat me, Joe? 435 00:24:59,472 --> 00:25:01,030 OK. 436 00:25:01,074 --> 00:25:03,599 - Oh, no. Go away. - What do you want? 437 00:25:03,643 --> 00:25:06,168 - I hate this. - Take that thing off my face. 438 00:25:06,213 --> 00:25:08,477 I just want to have a conversation. 439 00:25:08,515 --> 00:25:10,244 You want me to say something quotable? 440 00:25:10,283 --> 00:25:13,912 Yeah, why don't you say something quotable? 441 00:25:13,954 --> 00:25:17,412 I'll give you more later. Over and out. 442 00:25:17,457 --> 00:25:21,052 Nigel, come on. See you, Nigel. 443 00:25:21,094 --> 00:25:22,459 Good-bye, Frank. 444 00:25:22,529 --> 00:25:23,621 Hello. 445 00:25:23,663 --> 00:25:26,029 Oh, no. No, please, don't. 446 00:25:26,066 --> 00:25:27,260 What's the matter? 447 00:25:27,300 --> 00:25:29,530 I don't like the way I look. 448 00:25:29,569 --> 00:25:31,469 I sound like a man on those things. 449 00:25:31,504 --> 00:25:32,971 You don't sound like a man. 450 00:25:33,006 --> 00:25:34,303 I do, I do. 451 00:25:34,341 --> 00:25:36,309 Wait till you listen to it. 452 00:25:36,343 --> 00:25:38,903 "She sounds just like me". 453 00:25:38,945 --> 00:25:40,572 - Nice. - Yeah. 454 00:25:40,614 --> 00:25:44,482 Before, you sounded like your normal, velvet-voiced self. 455 00:25:47,921 --> 00:25:50,583 Is this why you came here? 456 00:25:50,624 --> 00:25:52,819 No, I came to see you. 457 00:25:52,859 --> 00:25:55,760 Then take that thing away from your face. 458 00:25:58,398 --> 00:26:00,764 Yes, Frank, what can I do for you? 459 00:26:00,800 --> 00:26:02,768 Why don't you... 460 00:26:02,802 --> 00:26:05,430 tell me all about me? 461 00:26:05,472 --> 00:26:08,566 Really? The stuff you want to hear... 462 00:26:08,608 --> 00:26:10,576 or the stuff you don't want to hear? 463 00:26:10,610 --> 00:26:12,134 Just tell me everything. 464 00:26:12,178 --> 00:26:13,475 I don't know everything. 465 00:26:13,513 --> 00:26:17,540 Then tell me what you know. 466 00:26:17,584 --> 00:26:19,882 Starting from when? 467 00:26:19,920 --> 00:26:21,182 From the beginning. 468 00:26:21,221 --> 00:26:23,121 I don't know you from the beginning, honey. 469 00:26:23,156 --> 00:26:25,590 I only know you from the middle. 470 00:26:25,625 --> 00:26:27,957 Then how about from there? 471 00:26:30,530 --> 00:26:32,361 You're being so weird. 472 00:26:34,000 --> 00:26:37,527 Why don't you just say whatever pops into your mind? 473 00:26:37,570 --> 00:26:39,231 The first thing. Whatever. 474 00:26:39,272 --> 00:26:42,332 This is... Do I really have to do this? 475 00:26:42,375 --> 00:26:44,969 I don't think so. Why? 476 00:26:45,011 --> 00:26:47,502 Because I asked you as a favor to me. 477 00:26:47,547 --> 00:26:49,640 See, that's it. 478 00:26:49,683 --> 00:26:51,583 You want me to tell you all about you. 479 00:26:51,618 --> 00:26:53,950 I don't see you since the wedding, 480 00:26:53,987 --> 00:26:56,581 then you show up out of no place and expect me... 481 00:26:56,623 --> 00:26:59,615 to tell you all about you as a favor to you. 482 00:26:59,659 --> 00:27:01,684 I think that just about wraps it up. 483 00:27:01,728 --> 00:27:04,492 - You think so? - I do. Give me that. 484 00:27:07,200 --> 00:27:10,431 Tell me something about you. 485 00:27:10,470 --> 00:27:12,836 Tell me something about something. 486 00:27:12,872 --> 00:27:14,100 OK. 487 00:27:14,140 --> 00:27:16,768 OK? God, just a minute. 488 00:27:16,810 --> 00:27:19,404 How about... 489 00:27:19,446 --> 00:27:21,505 How about the first time I saw you? 490 00:27:21,548 --> 00:27:23,277 I already know that. 491 00:27:23,316 --> 00:27:27,082 No, you don't. I mean before we met. 492 00:27:27,120 --> 00:27:29,020 The first, first time. 493 00:27:31,191 --> 00:27:33,751 There was a first, first time? 494 00:27:36,396 --> 00:27:38,990 OK, tell me about that. 495 00:27:39,032 --> 00:27:40,226 OK. 496 00:27:42,969 --> 00:27:45,767 When... 497 00:27:45,805 --> 00:27:47,773 - What? - OK. 498 00:27:47,807 --> 00:27:49,934 I was... 499 00:27:49,976 --> 00:27:52,945 I was about to take my last test... 500 00:27:52,979 --> 00:27:55,607 my sophomore year... 501 00:27:55,648 --> 00:27:57,081 and... 502 00:27:58,952 --> 00:28:02,115 It was in English Medieval Renaissance. 503 00:28:03,890 --> 00:28:06,882 I was just about to go into the building... 504 00:28:06,926 --> 00:28:08,689 and I saw you. 505 00:28:11,297 --> 00:28:13,288 It was raining out that day... 506 00:28:13,333 --> 00:28:15,460 and the sky was dark... 507 00:28:15,502 --> 00:28:17,868 and you were standing there... 508 00:28:17,904 --> 00:28:21,635 in this long gray raincoat. 509 00:28:21,674 --> 00:28:24,905 You had this green umbrella. 510 00:28:24,944 --> 00:28:27,970 And, I don't know, it was just strange. 511 00:28:28,014 --> 00:28:29,982 Everything was dark, and there you were... 512 00:28:30,016 --> 00:28:31,677 with this green umbrella. 513 00:28:31,718 --> 00:28:33,549 And... 514 00:28:35,555 --> 00:28:37,853 And then the sky was starting to break, 515 00:28:37,891 --> 00:28:42,521 and just as the light burst out of the sky... 516 00:28:42,562 --> 00:28:44,325 you did the neatest thing... 517 00:28:44,364 --> 00:28:46,423 You twirled your umbrella a little bit... 518 00:28:46,466 --> 00:28:47,956 and caught the light. 519 00:28:48,001 --> 00:28:49,832 You were the most beautiful thing... 520 00:28:49,869 --> 00:28:52,201 I'd ever seen in my life. 521 00:28:57,844 --> 00:29:01,280 And then... 522 00:29:01,314 --> 00:29:03,305 then Joseph came out of the building... 523 00:29:03,349 --> 00:29:06,341 and he... 524 00:29:06,386 --> 00:29:11,153 He went clomping up to you like Gene Kelly in... 525 00:29:11,191 --> 00:29:12,681 "Singin' in the Rain". 526 00:29:12,725 --> 00:29:15,193 He was clomping through the puddles... 527 00:29:15,228 --> 00:29:18,254 and that's when... 528 00:29:21,501 --> 00:29:23,492 I don't remember that. 529 00:29:27,707 --> 00:29:30,369 That's because we didn't know each other then. 530 00:29:32,979 --> 00:29:34,446 It was really funny. 531 00:29:34,481 --> 00:29:37,143 The next semester when I came back... 532 00:29:37,183 --> 00:29:40,277 and Joseph was my roommate... 533 00:29:40,320 --> 00:29:42,083 and you were his girlfriend. 534 00:30:00,340 --> 00:30:01,932 - Frank? - Frank-o! 535 00:30:01,975 --> 00:30:03,465 I'm in the kitchen! 536 00:30:06,880 --> 00:30:09,212 I brought some strawberries, Frank. 537 00:30:09,249 --> 00:30:10,716 Good. 538 00:30:10,750 --> 00:30:12,843 Where's the booze? 539 00:30:12,886 --> 00:30:14,911 - Hi, Duane. - Where's the booze? 540 00:30:14,954 --> 00:30:16,114 You know where the booze is. 541 00:30:16,156 --> 00:30:18,989 - Hi, Frank. - Hi. How are you? 542 00:30:19,025 --> 00:30:21,550 - You look like shit, Frank. - Thank you, Deborah. 543 00:30:21,594 --> 00:30:24,154 You're welcome. Where's your date? 544 00:30:24,197 --> 00:30:25,562 She's not here yet. 545 00:30:25,598 --> 00:30:28,123 Told you he wouldn't have a date. 546 00:30:28,168 --> 00:30:30,068 Who is she? 547 00:30:30,103 --> 00:30:31,934 Ran into Marianne. 548 00:30:31,971 --> 00:30:33,768 Cover girl? She's coming here? 549 00:30:33,806 --> 00:30:34,966 Yeah. 550 00:30:35,008 --> 00:30:38,671 Like us to leave you alone for a few minutes, Duane? 551 00:30:38,711 --> 00:30:40,838 I haven't seen her in a long time, that's all. 552 00:30:40,880 --> 00:30:42,814 Look at his face. 553 00:30:46,719 --> 00:30:51,383 Is she your girlfriend again, Frank? 554 00:30:51,424 --> 00:30:54,450 No, she's not my girlfriend. She's a date. 555 00:31:31,164 --> 00:31:33,155 I don't know. 556 00:31:33,199 --> 00:31:37,226 I've had sex before - more than once - 557 00:31:37,270 --> 00:31:39,431 and I think I've figured out why I do it. 558 00:31:39,472 --> 00:31:40,962 Go ahead, Joe. 559 00:31:41,007 --> 00:31:43,669 I remember going through the birth canal. 560 00:31:43,710 --> 00:31:45,405 - Oh, God. - No, I'm... 561 00:31:45,445 --> 00:31:47,970 My skin was really sensitive back then... 562 00:31:48,014 --> 00:31:49,379 Want some wine? 563 00:31:49,415 --> 00:31:51,713 It was like I was one big, giant penis. 564 00:31:51,751 --> 00:31:53,343 Nothing's changed, Joseph. 565 00:31:53,386 --> 00:31:55,616 No, no. Pay attention, please. 566 00:31:55,655 --> 00:31:58,215 There I was in the birth canal... 567 00:31:58,258 --> 00:32:02,592 and my adrenaline was really pumping... 568 00:32:02,629 --> 00:32:05,621 and these dark, wet, powerful muscles... 569 00:32:05,665 --> 00:32:06,859 were shunting me... 570 00:32:06,899 --> 00:32:09,868 and elongating my head into a banana shape... 571 00:32:09,902 --> 00:32:12,029 which is a very odd sensation. 572 00:32:12,071 --> 00:32:14,869 And imagine the kind of consciousness you have... 573 00:32:14,907 --> 00:32:18,035 when you're getting oxygen, but you're not breathing. 574 00:32:18,077 --> 00:32:20,068 You're just alive. 575 00:32:22,382 --> 00:32:24,407 So now that I'm a big boy... 576 00:32:24,450 --> 00:32:28,978 I find myself going back to that place again and again... 577 00:32:29,022 --> 00:32:33,186 because it's only really just before I blow my wad... 578 00:32:33,226 --> 00:32:34,454 Dear God. 579 00:32:34,494 --> 00:32:38,760 ...that I ever experience what it was like being born. 580 00:32:38,798 --> 00:32:42,131 - That is so amazing. - Isn't it? 581 00:32:42,168 --> 00:32:44,295 It's incredible you remember being born. 582 00:32:44,337 --> 00:32:47,397 One of my boyfriends is a licensed rebirther. 583 00:32:47,440 --> 00:32:48,668 Really? 584 00:32:48,708 --> 00:32:51,199 He's trying to regress me back to the womb, 585 00:32:51,244 --> 00:32:53,678 but it's been really difficult for me. 586 00:32:53,713 --> 00:32:55,772 Why? 587 00:32:57,317 --> 00:33:00,946 I think it's because infants are so helpless... 588 00:33:00,987 --> 00:33:04,423 and I need to be in control. 589 00:33:07,794 --> 00:33:10,024 So, Marianne, 590 00:33:10,063 --> 00:33:12,429 how many boyfriends do you have, anyway? 591 00:33:12,465 --> 00:33:13,625 Honey, please, that's... 592 00:33:13,666 --> 00:33:15,327 How many men do I have sex with? 593 00:33:15,368 --> 00:33:17,768 Yeah, I'm just curious. 594 00:33:17,804 --> 00:33:20,364 More than one. 595 00:33:20,406 --> 00:33:23,307 - Congratulations, Frank. - Thanks, Sarah. 596 00:33:23,343 --> 00:33:25,743 Girl fight. 597 00:33:25,778 --> 00:33:30,306 Is that two or a few... 598 00:33:30,350 --> 00:33:34,684 or the Los Angeles Raiders? 599 00:33:34,721 --> 00:33:37,588 Honey, what are you doing? 600 00:33:37,623 --> 00:33:39,921 What are you doing? 601 00:33:42,428 --> 00:33:44,396 Could I have a cigarette, please? 602 00:33:44,430 --> 00:33:47,092 I'm sorry if I threaten you in some way. 603 00:33:47,133 --> 00:33:49,397 I happen to like men. 604 00:33:49,435 --> 00:33:55,305 And what is it about them, exactly, that you like? 605 00:33:56,576 --> 00:33:58,976 Different things about different men. 606 00:33:59,011 --> 00:34:01,878 I bet. 607 00:34:03,816 --> 00:34:07,217 Well, I think that's very commendable... 608 00:34:07,253 --> 00:34:08,982 and rare, in my experience. 609 00:34:09,021 --> 00:34:11,216 Shut up, Duane. If it's so commendable, 610 00:34:11,257 --> 00:34:12,952 then how come you don't like women? 611 00:34:12,992 --> 00:34:14,323 Good point. 612 00:34:14,360 --> 00:34:17,158 I like women... Hairless, obsequious women. 613 00:34:17,196 --> 00:34:19,289 You're so deep. It's true. 614 00:34:19,332 --> 00:34:22,267 He used to make all his girlfriends shave their twats. 615 00:34:22,301 --> 00:34:24,997 You're a sick man, Duane. 616 00:34:25,037 --> 00:34:27,505 I don't like hair. I like hairless girls. 617 00:34:27,540 --> 00:34:33,308 Girls? Like a little diaper rash in their creases, Duane? 618 00:34:33,346 --> 00:34:35,906 I think you would like men a lot less... 619 00:34:35,948 --> 00:34:37,677 if you were married to one. 620 00:34:37,717 --> 00:34:39,981 I don't know. What about Frank? 621 00:34:40,019 --> 00:34:41,418 He's not bad. 622 00:34:41,454 --> 00:34:46,619 I like Frank. I'm just not the marrying type. 623 00:34:49,695 --> 00:34:54,462 Poor Frank. Are you disappointed? 624 00:34:56,068 --> 00:34:58,764 Yeah, I'm devastated. 625 00:34:58,805 --> 00:35:03,139 You're so sweet. Why aren't you married? 626 00:35:05,244 --> 00:35:07,940 I guess I haven't met the right woman yet. 627 00:35:07,980 --> 00:35:10,471 What kind would that be? 628 00:35:14,020 --> 00:35:16,921 Like... you. 629 00:35:16,956 --> 00:35:18,480 One like you. 630 00:35:18,524 --> 00:35:20,754 You're so cute. 631 00:35:20,793 --> 00:35:22,226 He is so cute. 632 00:35:22,261 --> 00:35:24,786 Honey, I'm about to cloud up... 633 00:35:24,831 --> 00:35:27,732 and rain all over you. 634 00:35:27,767 --> 00:35:33,535 If you like me so much, why don't you... 635 00:35:33,573 --> 00:35:35,666 bring me flowers? 636 00:35:35,708 --> 00:35:39,804 Roses? Would you like roses? 637 00:35:39,846 --> 00:35:43,304 Which grow profusely in the... 638 00:35:43,349 --> 00:35:45,010 ordure of romance. 639 00:35:45,051 --> 00:35:47,713 What the hell's going on here? 640 00:35:50,223 --> 00:35:54,683 I'm trying to tell your wife that I'm in love with her. 641 00:35:57,530 --> 00:35:59,760 Frank's trying to seduce me. 642 00:35:59,799 --> 00:36:03,997 You're trying to seduce me, aren't you, Frank? 643 00:36:05,671 --> 00:36:08,196 I love you, Sarah. 644 00:36:08,241 --> 00:36:10,505 What the fuck are you doing? 645 00:36:10,543 --> 00:36:12,204 What the fuck is going on here? 646 00:36:12,245 --> 00:36:13,803 Are you nuts? That's my wife! 647 00:36:13,846 --> 00:36:15,507 What's your fucking problem? 648 00:36:15,548 --> 00:36:17,539 Go, Frank. 649 00:36:17,583 --> 00:36:19,551 Go! 650 00:36:19,585 --> 00:36:21,143 Thanks so much for dinner. 651 00:36:21,187 --> 00:36:23,781 It was so nice seeing you all. 652 00:36:23,823 --> 00:36:25,654 Take it easy, Marianne. 653 00:36:47,914 --> 00:36:49,745 Want a cigarette? 654 00:36:52,952 --> 00:36:54,510 Thanks. 655 00:37:12,138 --> 00:37:13,537 Is it me? 656 00:37:15,374 --> 00:37:17,808 No. Sometimes being married... 657 00:37:17,843 --> 00:37:19,811 is like having dog shit on your shoe... 658 00:37:19,845 --> 00:37:22,837 and nothing to scrape it off with. 659 00:37:27,086 --> 00:37:29,145 Want to play some ball tomorrow? 660 00:37:30,690 --> 00:37:32,681 You want more humiliation? 661 00:37:34,627 --> 00:37:38,188 I'll pick you up tomorrow at 6:00, all right? 662 00:37:38,230 --> 00:37:40,721 How's your marriage counseling going? 663 00:37:42,034 --> 00:37:44,628 It's good. It's all right. 664 00:37:44,670 --> 00:37:46,831 You like your counselor? 665 00:37:46,872 --> 00:37:49,306 Yeah, she's all right. 666 00:37:53,980 --> 00:37:56,210 You know what she said to me the other day? 667 00:37:56,248 --> 00:37:59,649 She said I was full of inner rage. 668 00:37:59,685 --> 00:38:01,448 You believe that shit? 669 00:38:01,487 --> 00:38:05,514 I should have popped her right then. Bitch. 670 00:38:05,558 --> 00:38:07,082 Duane! 671 00:38:08,327 --> 00:38:11,626 You begin to hate the sound of your own name. 672 00:38:11,664 --> 00:38:15,031 - Honey, come on. - OK. 673 00:38:16,836 --> 00:38:18,599 You'll be all right, man. 674 00:38:18,638 --> 00:38:20,936 - See you later. - I'll see you tomorrow. 675 00:38:45,464 --> 00:38:47,659 I want to drive. 676 00:38:47,700 --> 00:38:49,861 Why? 677 00:38:49,902 --> 00:38:54,100 I just think it'll be a good idea. 678 00:38:54,140 --> 00:38:57,473 I'm sorry, honey. I didn't... 679 00:38:58,611 --> 00:39:00,374 You piss me off. 680 00:39:17,897 --> 00:39:21,162 And, Daddy, she didn't deserve it 681 00:39:21,200 --> 00:39:24,897 All the pain and the hurt 682 00:39:24,937 --> 00:39:28,703 And I could never hate you for it 683 00:39:28,741 --> 00:39:32,472 'Cause I learned about love when she said 684 00:39:32,511 --> 00:39:36,345 She said, "Honey, your daddy is dead to me" 685 00:39:36,382 --> 00:39:40,113 "But to you, your daddy he'll always be" 686 00:39:40,152 --> 00:39:44,145 "And although he made me cry my last tear" 687 00:39:44,190 --> 00:39:47,557 "To you, he should always be dear" 688 00:39:47,593 --> 00:39:48,855 And Mother 689 00:39:48,894 --> 00:39:52,193 You're the kindest woman I've ever seen 690 00:39:52,231 --> 00:39:55,166 A love like yours is rarely seen 691 00:39:55,201 --> 00:39:57,192 And although you were hurt 692 00:39:57,236 --> 00:39:59,329 You held your head high 693 00:39:59,371 --> 00:40:01,339 And thanks to you 694 00:40:01,373 --> 00:40:06,367 My daddy's alive 695 00:40:09,815 --> 00:40:12,716 - All right. - Thank you. 696 00:40:12,752 --> 00:40:14,720 Thank you, thank you. 697 00:40:14,754 --> 00:40:17,222 - I wrote that myself. - I could tell. 698 00:40:17,256 --> 00:40:18,985 Did you like it? 699 00:40:20,025 --> 00:40:22,550 - It was very human. - Thank you. 700 00:40:22,595 --> 00:40:25,462 - Let's play poker. - All right. 701 00:40:25,498 --> 00:40:28,228 - Got any eights? - Nope. Go fish. 702 00:40:28,267 --> 00:40:31,600 - Come on. - We're just being cute. 703 00:40:31,637 --> 00:40:34,572 We'll be serious. 704 00:40:34,607 --> 00:40:38,270 You've got the old maid, don't you? 705 00:40:38,310 --> 00:40:41,541 Why am I always the last one to hear about these things? 706 00:40:41,580 --> 00:40:42,877 I thought we were friends. 707 00:40:42,915 --> 00:40:44,439 We are friends. That's why we didn't tell you. 708 00:40:44,483 --> 00:40:47,611 We didn't want to shatter your fragile fantasy world. 709 00:40:47,653 --> 00:40:49,587 Did they hurt each other? 710 00:40:49,622 --> 00:40:50,953 You are so dear. 711 00:40:50,990 --> 00:40:54,357 They didn't hurt each other, because I was Mr. Peacemaker. 712 00:40:54,393 --> 00:40:57,157 I wanted to pop the son of a bitch myself. 713 00:40:57,196 --> 00:40:59,756 See, that really upsets me. 714 00:40:59,799 --> 00:41:02,427 You can't look at her cards. You're still in the hand. 715 00:41:02,468 --> 00:41:04,402 Sorry. Hold on to that ace. 716 00:41:04,436 --> 00:41:06,165 Great. Ruin my bluff. 717 00:41:06,205 --> 00:41:08,139 What's a bluff? 718 00:41:08,174 --> 00:41:10,506 When you lie about your hand and chase everyone else out. 719 00:41:10,543 --> 00:41:11,737 Gotcha. 720 00:41:11,777 --> 00:41:13,768 How do you know I wasn't bluffing about her ace? 721 00:41:13,813 --> 00:41:16,077 Because you can't bluff someone else's hand. 722 00:41:16,115 --> 00:41:17,878 Why not, Neil? 723 00:41:17,917 --> 00:41:19,475 Because you can't. 724 00:41:19,518 --> 00:41:21,213 Does it confuse you? 725 00:41:21,253 --> 00:41:23,414 No, it doesn't confuse me. 726 00:41:23,455 --> 00:41:25,184 And my name's Leo, not Neil. 727 00:41:25,224 --> 00:41:27,624 Why are you angry? 728 00:41:27,660 --> 00:41:29,184 I'm not angry. 729 00:41:29,228 --> 00:41:31,788 Bet big, girl. He's angry and confused. 730 00:41:31,831 --> 00:41:33,560 I bet all my chips. 731 00:41:33,599 --> 00:41:35,965 You can't bet out of turn. 732 00:41:36,001 --> 00:41:39,698 When it's my turn, the chips will be there. 733 00:41:39,738 --> 00:41:43,174 I'm sorry, but this Frank thing is really upsetting me. 734 00:41:43,209 --> 00:41:45,837 - You're so sensitive. - Come sit between us. 735 00:41:45,878 --> 00:41:48,506 A little drama's good for a marriage. 736 00:41:48,547 --> 00:41:50,208 But they're best friends. 737 00:41:50,249 --> 00:41:52,046 Frank is her friend. 738 00:41:52,084 --> 00:41:54,848 We're friends. Where does that leave me? 739 00:41:54,887 --> 00:41:56,047 Who's Frank? 740 00:41:56,088 --> 00:41:58,648 That guy shooting down our tops at the barbecue. 741 00:41:58,691 --> 00:42:00,318 He was kind of cute. 742 00:42:00,359 --> 00:42:02,327 It's your bet, sweetheart. 743 00:42:02,361 --> 00:42:06,422 OK, big cock. Here's my bet. 744 00:42:08,033 --> 00:42:09,933 I think that Frank guy needs to get laid. 745 00:42:09,969 --> 00:42:12,164 Precisely. He's chosen his best friend's wife... 746 00:42:12,204 --> 00:42:14,229 as the object of his clumsy affections. 747 00:42:14,273 --> 00:42:15,740 That's wonderful, Nigel. 748 00:42:15,774 --> 00:42:17,002 What? 749 00:42:17,042 --> 00:42:18,737 These girls don't need to hear about that, man. 750 00:42:18,777 --> 00:42:22,076 These girls are my trusted employees. 751 00:42:22,114 --> 00:42:24,912 They won't breathe a word. They can keep a secret. 752 00:42:24,950 --> 00:42:26,076 Promise. 753 00:42:26,118 --> 00:42:28,086 Cross my heart, hope to die. 754 00:42:31,423 --> 00:42:33,414 Anyway, it sounds like amateur dinner theater... 755 00:42:33,459 --> 00:42:34,619 Frank being Frank. 756 00:42:34,660 --> 00:42:36,287 Now, that confuses me. 757 00:42:36,328 --> 00:42:39,422 Am I supposed to be angry at Frank? 758 00:42:39,465 --> 00:42:42,093 He's a slime hound with warts on his dick. 759 00:42:42,134 --> 00:42:44,967 - So you guys are friends. - Exactly. 760 00:42:45,004 --> 00:42:47,336 You should do that guy Frank, Lauren. 761 00:42:47,373 --> 00:42:48,806 I don't know. 762 00:42:48,841 --> 00:42:51,071 I checked him out. He looked kind of small. 763 00:42:51,110 --> 00:42:53,908 I need a big stiff one, and I don't mean a cocktail! 764 00:42:53,946 --> 00:42:56,471 Oh, my God! I think I just grew a penis! 765 00:42:56,515 --> 00:42:59,245 Poker will do it to you every time! 766 00:42:59,285 --> 00:43:01,515 It's raining sperm in here! Oh, my face! 767 00:43:01,553 --> 00:43:05,182 - Cross your legs! - Oh, yes! 768 00:43:07,760 --> 00:43:09,990 So you're really angry at him. 769 00:43:10,029 --> 00:43:12,395 I don't want to waste my time on it. 770 00:43:12,431 --> 00:43:13,631 I don't want to talk about it. 771 00:43:13,666 --> 00:43:15,361 A man who gleefully admits... 772 00:43:15,401 --> 00:43:17,266 having had sex with his sister... 773 00:43:17,303 --> 00:43:19,396 is now making moral judgments. 774 00:43:19,438 --> 00:43:22,430 - What? - You had sex with your sister? 775 00:43:22,474 --> 00:43:25,966 She was five. I was four. It was consensual. 776 00:43:26,011 --> 00:43:29,538 That's what allows me to make these higher moral judgments. 777 00:43:29,581 --> 00:43:32,448 - I'm evolved. - I see. 778 00:43:32,484 --> 00:43:34,349 I think I'm mad at him. 779 00:43:34,386 --> 00:43:37,878 Congratulations, Rory. You've picked an emotion. 780 00:43:37,923 --> 00:43:41,825 I have this weird, crazy idea. Let's play poker. 781 00:43:41,860 --> 00:43:46,627 No, no, no. What do you think? 782 00:43:46,665 --> 00:43:49,463 I think that you are chronically indecisive, 783 00:43:49,501 --> 00:43:50,900 Duane's overreacting, 784 00:43:50,936 --> 00:43:53,063 Frank is lonely and sad, 785 00:43:53,105 --> 00:43:55,164 and I am getting impatient. 786 00:43:55,207 --> 00:43:57,641 You have a lot of hostility in you. 787 00:43:57,676 --> 00:44:01,134 I've also got two pairs towards a full house. 788 00:44:01,180 --> 00:44:04,149 The thing is - and I'll leave it at this - 789 00:44:04,183 --> 00:44:07,482 is that you guys can't know, because you're not married. 790 00:44:07,519 --> 00:44:09,043 I'm married, Duane. 791 00:44:09,088 --> 00:44:11,488 That's stretching the definition a bit, isn't it? 792 00:44:11,523 --> 00:44:13,991 I believe I should be insulted. 793 00:44:14,026 --> 00:44:15,857 Shall I be angry with you now? 794 00:44:15,894 --> 00:44:18,692 Dog fight. 795 00:44:18,731 --> 00:44:20,460 I'm secure in my marriage. 796 00:44:20,499 --> 00:44:22,592 Whatever, Nigel. 797 00:44:22,634 --> 00:44:24,067 Nobody wake him up. 798 00:44:24,103 --> 00:44:26,765 What foreign creature crawled up your rectum? 799 00:44:26,805 --> 00:44:29,103 A kiss is just a kiss. 800 00:44:29,141 --> 00:44:31,109 To demonstrate... 801 00:44:33,412 --> 00:44:35,073 See? No harm done. 802 00:44:36,648 --> 00:44:40,345 Don't you ever, ever do that again, Nigel, 803 00:44:40,386 --> 00:44:42,354 unless I ask for it, or I'm hard up. 804 00:44:42,388 --> 00:44:44,288 That hurt. 805 00:44:44,323 --> 00:44:47,952 Good. I'm glad. Good. 806 00:44:47,993 --> 00:44:49,483 My point is... 807 00:44:49,528 --> 00:44:51,325 What if I told Amy about this? 808 00:44:51,363 --> 00:44:54,025 Exactly. Tell her, and we'll endure. 809 00:44:54,066 --> 00:44:58,298 They'll endure if we all love one another. 810 00:44:58,337 --> 00:45:00,931 Nigel, you're so full of insight and charm. 811 00:45:00,973 --> 00:45:04,204 You really are. No, I'm serious. 812 00:45:10,315 --> 00:45:14,979 This game is boring. Nothing happens. 813 00:45:15,020 --> 00:45:16,851 Do you want to hear another song? 814 00:45:16,889 --> 00:45:18,584 I got eight more that I wrote. 815 00:45:18,624 --> 00:45:20,819 Let her play. It's nice. 816 00:45:23,829 --> 00:45:25,490 Once again 817 00:45:25,531 --> 00:45:29,194 I'm without my man 818 00:45:29,234 --> 00:45:34,069 My lover and my friend 819 00:45:41,180 --> 00:45:43,171 Mine are hardly the sort of novels... 820 00:45:43,215 --> 00:45:46,878 today's filmmakers are racing to adapt. 821 00:45:46,919 --> 00:45:50,355 They're not seething with raw sensuality... 822 00:45:50,389 --> 00:45:52,016 nor do they contain... 823 00:45:52,057 --> 00:45:56,960 periodic spasms of orgiastic bloodshed. 824 00:45:56,995 --> 00:45:58,929 Also, one rarely sees... 825 00:45:58,964 --> 00:46:02,730 characters as old as mine in American films, 826 00:46:02,768 --> 00:46:04,759 and when they do pop up... 827 00:46:04,803 --> 00:46:07,465 it's only for a scene or two. 828 00:46:07,506 --> 00:46:10,839 They're not allowed to be the whole story... 829 00:46:10,876 --> 00:46:12,810 as they are in my books. 830 00:46:12,845 --> 00:46:15,370 Though, now that I think of it, 831 00:46:15,414 --> 00:46:18,781 I was approached perhaps 20 years ago... 832 00:46:18,817 --> 00:46:22,685 by some people who wanted to film my third book, 833 00:46:22,721 --> 00:46:27,522 which was called "A Vulgar Superfluity". 834 00:46:27,559 --> 00:46:32,496 Although they suggested I try to think of another title. 835 00:46:32,531 --> 00:46:33,862 They wanted to cast... 836 00:46:33,899 --> 00:46:36,663 some American actress whom I'd never heard of, 837 00:46:36,702 --> 00:46:40,798 though she was apparently quite popular at the time. 838 00:46:40,839 --> 00:46:42,966 They showed me one of her films... 839 00:46:43,008 --> 00:46:45,340 and I thought, "Oh, dear." 840 00:46:45,377 --> 00:46:49,245 "She's quite immensely unsuitable". 841 00:46:49,281 --> 00:46:51,613 Her name escapes me now. 842 00:46:51,650 --> 00:46:55,279 Amy, dear, what was the name of that actress... 843 00:46:55,320 --> 00:46:57,982 they were so keen to have play Daphne? 844 00:46:58,023 --> 00:46:59,752 Raquel Welch. 845 00:46:59,791 --> 00:47:02,521 Yes, that's it! 846 00:47:02,561 --> 00:47:04,654 Oh, dear, yes. 847 00:47:04,696 --> 00:47:06,391 That is one boring lady in there. 848 00:47:06,431 --> 00:47:08,058 She's like some kind of hypnotist. 849 00:47:08,100 --> 00:47:10,625 You think she's bad, try reading one of her books. 850 00:47:10,669 --> 00:47:12,109 Though don't mix them with alcohol... 851 00:47:12,137 --> 00:47:14,037 as people have been known to slip into comas. 852 00:47:14,072 --> 00:47:16,006 What's Amy's dad like? Is he as bad? 853 00:47:16,041 --> 00:47:19,374 Her dad's great. He ran for his life years ago. 854 00:47:19,411 --> 00:47:21,379 She married this aging closet case... 855 00:47:21,413 --> 00:47:22,971 who's probably in London right now, 856 00:47:23,015 --> 00:47:24,778 working his way through the male ensemble... 857 00:47:24,816 --> 00:47:25,942 of "Starlight Express". 858 00:47:25,984 --> 00:47:28,976 - Fucking Nigel. - He's fine. 859 00:47:29,021 --> 00:47:31,012 He has to sit there, sneering at her... 860 00:47:31,056 --> 00:47:34,787 like she's in any danger of forgetting he hates her guts. 861 00:47:34,826 --> 00:47:36,453 He's just jealous. 862 00:47:36,495 --> 00:47:39,862 Deeply. Not that he'd ever admit it. 863 00:47:39,898 --> 00:47:41,729 And there's the money thing. 864 00:47:41,767 --> 00:47:44,327 Her bailing us out last year. 865 00:47:44,369 --> 00:47:47,304 I think it's really going fine. 866 00:47:47,339 --> 00:47:49,534 Sounds like you and Mom don't get along too well. 867 00:47:49,575 --> 00:47:53,306 No. She thinks of me as some disgusting habit... 868 00:47:53,345 --> 00:47:55,609 Amy will outgrow someday, like thumb-sucking. 869 00:47:55,647 --> 00:47:57,581 Her expectations of me have gotten so low... 870 00:47:57,616 --> 00:47:59,243 that it's actually something of a challenge... 871 00:47:59,284 --> 00:48:02,447 to disappoint her, but I do my best. 872 00:48:02,487 --> 00:48:03,784 This is really strong. 873 00:48:03,822 --> 00:48:05,289 I've been saving it for her visit. 874 00:48:05,324 --> 00:48:07,292 How much longer is she sticking around for? 875 00:48:07,326 --> 00:48:10,523 Ten days. I have a strange premonition... 876 00:48:10,562 --> 00:48:12,530 she'll decide to shorten her visit. 877 00:48:12,564 --> 00:48:13,929 Really? 878 00:48:13,966 --> 00:48:15,991 Nigel, are you in there? 879 00:48:16,034 --> 00:48:18,502 No, don't come in! 880 00:48:18,537 --> 00:48:19,970 Your guest just showed up. 881 00:48:20,005 --> 00:48:21,472 I suppose you think you're funny? 882 00:48:21,506 --> 00:48:24,805 I'm stoned. I think everything's funny. 883 00:48:24,843 --> 00:48:27,676 - Thank you for that. - Who's here? 884 00:48:27,713 --> 00:48:31,274 You should enjoy this. He invited Frank. 885 00:48:31,316 --> 00:48:33,784 - Frank is here? - What'd you do that for? 886 00:48:33,819 --> 00:48:34,979 He's my friend, too. 887 00:48:35,020 --> 00:48:36,920 You can't expect me to shun him for your sake. 888 00:48:36,955 --> 00:48:38,149 I hate you. 889 00:48:38,190 --> 00:48:39,953 I think you two should kiss and make up. 890 00:48:39,992 --> 00:48:41,391 Or beat the crap out of each other. 891 00:48:41,426 --> 00:48:42,893 That would be interesting, too. 892 00:48:42,928 --> 00:48:45,692 You're so clever, Nigel. You really are. 893 00:48:45,764 --> 00:48:48,324 It's very nice to meet you, Frank. 894 00:48:48,367 --> 00:48:49,800 Nice to meet you as well. 895 00:48:49,835 --> 00:48:52,360 I really enjoy your books. 896 00:48:52,404 --> 00:48:55,373 How kind of you to say so. 897 00:48:55,407 --> 00:48:57,307 This is Pamela. 898 00:48:57,342 --> 00:48:59,105 Hi. Nice meeting you. 899 00:48:59,144 --> 00:49:02,204 How do you do? Are you a friend of Amy's? 900 00:49:02,247 --> 00:49:03,441 Who's Amy? 901 00:49:03,482 --> 00:49:05,382 No. Actually, I'm a friend of Nigel's. 902 00:49:05,417 --> 00:49:06,714 We play poker together. 903 00:49:06,752 --> 00:49:10,017 Oh, I see. 904 00:49:10,055 --> 00:49:13,149 Help yourself to some tea... 905 00:49:13,191 --> 00:49:15,557 or there's champagne, if you'd prefer. 906 00:49:15,594 --> 00:49:16,959 Thank you. 907 00:49:16,995 --> 00:49:18,462 Thank you. 908 00:49:18,497 --> 00:49:19,896 Hi, I'm Pamela. 909 00:49:19,931 --> 00:49:21,159 Deborah. 910 00:49:21,199 --> 00:49:23,167 Hi. Nice meeting you. 911 00:49:23,201 --> 00:49:26,068 - Hi, Pamela. I'm Duane. - Hello, Duane. 912 00:49:26,104 --> 00:49:27,731 - Nice to meet you. - Thank you. 913 00:49:27,773 --> 00:49:29,900 What nice little sandwiches. 914 00:49:29,941 --> 00:49:32,705 Champagne crisis. 915 00:49:32,744 --> 00:49:35,144 - I'll get it. - No, allow me. 916 00:49:35,180 --> 00:49:36,374 Really! 917 00:49:36,415 --> 00:49:40,613 - Hi, I'm Athena. - Lauren. Great scarf. 918 00:49:40,652 --> 00:49:41,880 - Thanks. - You're welcome. 919 00:49:41,920 --> 00:49:44,582 This is Josh. 920 00:49:44,623 --> 00:49:47,217 Hi. 921 00:49:47,259 --> 00:49:52,253 So, are you working on a new book? 922 00:49:52,297 --> 00:49:55,664 Yes. I'm perhaps halfway through. 923 00:49:55,701 --> 00:49:57,168 - Great. - What's it about? 924 00:49:57,202 --> 00:49:59,568 It's a minor superstition of mine... 925 00:49:59,604 --> 00:50:03,597 never to discuss my books until I finish writing them, 926 00:50:03,642 --> 00:50:06,042 not even with my husband. 927 00:50:06,078 --> 00:50:10,242 It has at times been a source of some friction between us. 928 00:50:10,282 --> 00:50:11,613 I wouldn't have thought... 929 00:50:11,650 --> 00:50:14,483 there was any friction at all between you and Sydney. 930 00:50:14,519 --> 00:50:17,511 Perhaps you don't know us as well as you suppose. 931 00:50:17,556 --> 00:50:18,955 Frank, can I talk to you in the kitchen? 932 00:50:18,990 --> 00:50:20,190 There's nothing to talk about. 933 00:50:20,225 --> 00:50:21,658 No, there's a lot to talk about. 934 00:50:21,693 --> 00:50:23,251 What the hell's going on here? 935 00:50:23,295 --> 00:50:26,093 - I want to talk to you. - Were you two an item? 936 00:50:26,131 --> 00:50:27,758 I would like to... 937 00:50:27,799 --> 00:50:29,630 I want you to control yourself. 938 00:50:29,668 --> 00:50:31,533 I'm not the one who can't control himself! 939 00:50:31,570 --> 00:50:32,798 Keep your voice down. 940 00:50:32,838 --> 00:50:34,169 Did you know he was going be here? 941 00:50:34,206 --> 00:50:35,639 Is that why we had to come to this thing? 942 00:50:35,674 --> 00:50:37,164 If I wanted to see him, 943 00:50:37,209 --> 00:50:39,109 this is how I would arrange it? 944 00:50:39,144 --> 00:50:41,874 Excuse me. Would you mind going somewhere else? 945 00:50:41,913 --> 00:50:43,141 I was here first. 946 00:50:43,181 --> 00:50:45,149 He's following you around with a big fucking hard-on, 947 00:50:45,183 --> 00:50:46,445 and I'm not supposed to say anything? 948 00:50:46,485 --> 00:50:49,750 So, Pamela, what sort of work do you do? 949 00:50:49,788 --> 00:50:51,380 You think he came here for the tea? 950 00:50:51,423 --> 00:50:52,583 No. He's here because you're here. 951 00:50:52,624 --> 00:50:54,785 That's the only reason, and everyone knows it... 952 00:50:54,826 --> 00:50:56,726 and you know it, and it's embarrassing. 953 00:50:56,762 --> 00:50:58,696 I don't like it. You think I'm enjoying... 954 00:50:58,730 --> 00:51:00,254 I do think you enjoy this! 955 00:51:00,298 --> 00:51:02,766 You're the center of attention. Everyone's looking at you. 956 00:51:02,801 --> 00:51:05,964 Fuck you, Joe! I did not ask for this. 957 00:51:06,004 --> 00:51:07,995 Neither did I, which is why we're leaving. 958 00:51:08,039 --> 00:51:09,973 No, fuck you! You don't tell me what to do! 959 00:51:10,008 --> 00:51:11,441 If you want to go, you go! 960 00:51:11,476 --> 00:51:12,773 You'd like that, wouldn't you? 961 00:51:12,811 --> 00:51:14,176 At the moment, I would love it. 962 00:51:14,212 --> 00:51:15,770 I would fucking love it. 963 00:51:25,657 --> 00:51:27,625 I am sorry about that. 964 00:51:27,659 --> 00:51:29,058 I'm really sorry. 965 00:51:29,094 --> 00:51:30,925 It's hardly your fault, dear. 966 00:51:30,962 --> 00:51:35,194 It's just Nigel showing us all how Nigel he can be. 967 00:51:35,233 --> 00:51:38,964 And what exactly do you mean by that? 968 00:51:39,004 --> 00:51:42,667 I do not enjoy speaking to you when you are drunk. 969 00:51:42,707 --> 00:51:45,904 Thank you. That's very useful information. 970 00:51:45,944 --> 00:51:48,435 Shut up, Nigel. 971 00:51:51,416 --> 00:51:52,576 He's going? 972 00:51:52,617 --> 00:51:56,519 Son of a bi... He left with my date! 973 00:51:56,555 --> 00:51:58,022 What? 974 00:51:59,524 --> 00:52:01,719 You people are fucking sick! 975 00:52:01,760 --> 00:52:04,456 Oh, dear. 976 00:52:04,496 --> 00:52:06,054 Thanks for having us. 977 00:52:06,097 --> 00:52:07,621 Thank you for coming. 978 00:52:07,666 --> 00:52:11,898 - Hey! Fuck! - Josh! 979 00:52:11,937 --> 00:52:13,700 Are these people really your friends? 980 00:52:13,738 --> 00:52:14,898 Because they're not normal. 981 00:52:14,940 --> 00:52:16,305 You shouldn't be so sensitive. 982 00:52:16,341 --> 00:52:18,172 I'm so sorry. 983 00:52:18,210 --> 00:52:20,872 Darling, if you would like my advice... 984 00:52:20,912 --> 00:52:22,709 No, we would not like your advice. 985 00:52:22,747 --> 00:52:24,681 Not with that farce you call a marriage. 986 00:52:24,716 --> 00:52:26,115 Stop it! Nigel! 987 00:52:26,151 --> 00:52:29,279 I will not stay in this house one minute longer! 988 00:52:29,321 --> 00:52:31,789 I'm timing you. 989 00:52:31,823 --> 00:52:34,451 59... 58... 990 00:52:34,493 --> 00:52:36,120 Shut up! 991 00:52:36,161 --> 00:52:38,095 You are a nasty boy! 992 00:52:38,129 --> 00:52:42,088 55... 54... 53... 993 00:52:43,401 --> 00:52:44,959 Sally, pick up the phone. 994 00:52:45,003 --> 00:52:46,561 Sally. 995 00:52:46,605 --> 00:52:48,630 Stop it, Nigel! 996 00:52:48,673 --> 00:52:51,267 Caroline, I'm a very nasty boy. 997 00:52:51,309 --> 00:52:52,833 I want a divorce! 998 00:52:52,878 --> 00:52:54,607 Frank? 999 00:52:56,281 --> 00:52:58,340 You know things are getting pretty bad... 1000 00:52:58,383 --> 00:53:00,544 when we have the best marriage in the room. 1001 00:53:17,068 --> 00:53:20,902 I hope you don't think you're going to sleep with me. 1002 00:53:20,939 --> 00:53:22,566 What? 1003 00:53:22,607 --> 00:53:26,475 I hope you don't think you're going to sleep with me. 1004 00:53:26,511 --> 00:53:29,480 Actually, it hadn't crossed my mind. 1005 00:53:29,514 --> 00:53:31,675 Oh, really? 1006 00:53:31,716 --> 00:53:33,946 - I'm happily married. - I know. 1007 00:53:33,985 --> 00:53:36,783 That son of a bitch. He's such a fucking... 1008 00:53:36,821 --> 00:53:38,686 I'm sorry. I shouldn't be talking like this. 1009 00:53:38,723 --> 00:53:40,987 We're all sorry. You're sorry, right, Frank? 1010 00:53:41,026 --> 00:53:43,051 I'm going to take you home first, OK? 1011 00:53:43,094 --> 00:53:44,891 OK, thank you. 1012 00:53:44,930 --> 00:53:46,158 Sarah... 1013 00:53:46,197 --> 00:53:48,188 No, Frank, please don't start. 1014 00:53:48,233 --> 00:53:50,360 - I just... - Forget it. Please? 1015 00:53:53,738 --> 00:53:56,206 So, what kind of work do you do? 1016 00:53:56,241 --> 00:53:59,733 Me? I'm a body double for Demi Moore. 1017 00:53:59,778 --> 00:54:01,040 Really? That's really... 1018 00:54:01,079 --> 00:54:03,912 She believes me. Oh, my God. 1019 00:54:03,949 --> 00:54:05,678 You didn't have to come with us. 1020 00:54:05,717 --> 00:54:07,548 There's no reason for this attitude. 1021 00:54:07,586 --> 00:54:09,315 Look, honey, I came with him. 1022 00:54:09,354 --> 00:54:12,346 Everybody else was sloshed, stoned, or psychotic... 1023 00:54:12,390 --> 00:54:14,358 and a cab in this town is 50 bucks. 1024 00:54:14,392 --> 00:54:17,088 Yada, yada, yada. God, she goes on. 1025 00:54:17,128 --> 00:54:19,562 All right. He'll take me home. Great. 1026 00:54:19,598 --> 00:54:20,929 Sarah, can I just... 1027 00:54:20,966 --> 00:54:24,163 Frank, no! I'm OK. I'm really OK. 1028 00:54:24,202 --> 00:54:26,432 I do have control over my life. 1029 00:54:26,471 --> 00:54:28,268 It might not seem that way, but I do. 1030 00:54:28,306 --> 00:54:29,603 I am not stupid. 1031 00:54:29,641 --> 00:54:32,166 I know Joseph's an asshole, but I married him. 1032 00:54:32,210 --> 00:54:33,541 He's my asshole. 1033 00:54:35,513 --> 00:54:37,310 See that house? 1034 00:54:37,349 --> 00:54:39,180 I designed the landscaping. 1035 00:54:39,217 --> 00:54:41,014 It's nice. 1036 00:54:41,052 --> 00:54:43,020 It's better than nice. 1037 00:54:43,054 --> 00:54:45,147 The dopes that live there don't deserve it. 1038 00:54:45,190 --> 00:54:46,555 That's the rub, 1039 00:54:46,591 --> 00:54:49,287 that only rich people can really afford... 1040 00:54:49,327 --> 00:54:50,954 property that's worth landscaping... 1041 00:54:50,996 --> 00:54:52,623 but then they don't even care about it. 1042 00:54:52,664 --> 00:54:55,292 It's like upkeep to them, maintenance, 1043 00:54:55,333 --> 00:54:58,700 like I'm changing shingles on their roof. 1044 00:54:58,737 --> 00:55:01,365 So you're an artist, then. 1045 00:55:01,406 --> 00:55:03,374 Sometimes. 1046 00:55:03,408 --> 00:55:05,376 And the rest of the time? 1047 00:55:05,410 --> 00:55:09,005 You mean, what do I do for money? 1048 00:55:09,047 --> 00:55:12,039 I design landscaping. 1049 00:55:18,590 --> 00:55:22,185 I like that green mushroom tree. 1050 00:55:22,227 --> 00:55:25,628 - It's an umbrella. - You're kidding. 1051 00:55:25,664 --> 00:55:28,189 I did it for my wife. 1052 00:55:28,233 --> 00:55:29,825 Does she know? 1053 00:55:29,868 --> 00:55:32,598 I drove her by it once. 1054 00:55:32,637 --> 00:55:34,867 Like an inside joke, huh? 1055 00:55:34,906 --> 00:55:36,237 Sort of. 1056 00:55:39,577 --> 00:55:42,478 Did you ever think that maybe you made a mistake? 1057 00:55:42,514 --> 00:55:44,141 What are you talking about? 1058 00:55:44,182 --> 00:55:46,343 Marrying him. 1059 00:55:46,384 --> 00:55:48,352 How can you say that? I loved him. 1060 00:55:48,386 --> 00:55:50,183 "Loved". That's exactly what I'm saying. 1061 00:55:50,221 --> 00:55:51,620 That's past tense, you see? 1062 00:55:51,656 --> 00:55:53,123 Frank, stop. 1063 00:55:53,158 --> 00:55:54,420 What... 1064 00:55:54,459 --> 00:55:58,589 - Sarah, I love you now. - Hello! 1065 00:55:58,630 --> 00:56:01,531 Frank, you got to understand. 1066 00:56:01,566 --> 00:56:03,659 We're just friends. That's all we are. 1067 00:56:03,702 --> 00:56:06,364 Come on. We've always been more than friends. 1068 00:56:06,404 --> 00:56:08,099 You know that as well as I do. 1069 00:56:08,139 --> 00:56:10,505 And I want you now, OK? 1070 00:56:10,542 --> 00:56:13,102 You want me now because now I'm taken. 1071 00:56:13,144 --> 00:56:15,112 You only ever want what's taken. 1072 00:56:15,146 --> 00:56:16,579 That is such bullshit! 1073 00:56:16,614 --> 00:56:18,673 No, it isn't. That's a pattern with you. 1074 00:56:18,717 --> 00:56:20,651 You waited until after we were married... 1075 00:56:20,685 --> 00:56:22,448 I waited till you let me! 1076 00:56:22,487 --> 00:56:23,749 - I let you? - Yes! 1077 00:56:23,788 --> 00:56:25,187 How? 1078 00:56:27,726 --> 00:56:31,628 The day before the wedding, when you kissed me. 1079 00:56:31,663 --> 00:56:33,426 You kissed? 1080 00:56:33,465 --> 00:56:36,298 Does the bimbo with your husband know... 1081 00:56:36,334 --> 00:56:37,631 - Shut up! - OK. 1082 00:56:37,669 --> 00:56:40,001 Frank, that was just a kiss. 1083 00:56:46,244 --> 00:56:48,109 I'm only here... 1084 00:56:48,146 --> 00:56:50,979 because my best friend is trying to fuck my wife. 1085 00:56:51,015 --> 00:56:53,313 Maybe he's in love with her. 1086 00:56:53,351 --> 00:56:55,581 He doesn't really even know her. 1087 00:56:57,388 --> 00:56:58,855 Why not? You're best friends. 1088 00:56:58,890 --> 00:57:00,881 They must see each other a lot. 1089 00:57:00,925 --> 00:57:02,358 Yeah. 1090 00:57:03,661 --> 00:57:06,391 Then he does know her. 1091 00:57:06,431 --> 00:57:07,921 No. 1092 00:57:11,669 --> 00:57:13,398 She married me. 1093 00:57:20,979 --> 00:57:22,207 Oh, God. 1094 00:57:31,556 --> 00:57:33,717 She's probably with him right now. 1095 00:57:33,758 --> 00:57:37,319 No. She's just not with me. 1096 00:57:37,362 --> 00:57:40,229 That's right. I'm with you. 1097 00:57:49,440 --> 00:57:52,409 You really want me to pull over and drop you off? 1098 00:57:52,443 --> 00:57:53,933 Is that what you want? 1099 00:57:57,949 --> 00:57:59,849 You people are unbelievable. 1100 00:57:59,884 --> 00:58:02,216 You just do this to entertain yourselves? 1101 00:58:02,253 --> 00:58:05,711 Don't answer that. It's a rhetorical question. 1102 00:58:33,651 --> 00:58:35,619 Let's go to my bedroom. 1103 00:58:41,459 --> 00:58:44,087 Let's go to my bedroom. 1104 00:58:44,128 --> 00:58:45,595 You know what? 1105 00:58:45,630 --> 00:58:48,064 You're sweet, but this is... 1106 00:58:48,099 --> 00:58:49,828 You're fucked up. 1107 00:58:49,868 --> 00:58:53,964 No, I'm not. I'm 24, and I don't give a shit. 1108 00:58:54,005 --> 00:58:56,997 None of you mean anything to me. 1109 00:58:57,041 --> 00:58:58,770 That's sad. 1110 00:58:58,810 --> 00:59:00,801 You would know. 1111 00:59:03,114 --> 00:59:05,605 I got to go. I'm sorry. 1112 01:00:30,101 --> 01:00:32,729 Your husband is a really hot property. 1113 01:00:32,770 --> 01:00:35,637 Have you always known that the big guy here... 1114 01:00:35,673 --> 01:00:37,004 was going to make it so big? 1115 01:00:37,041 --> 01:00:38,303 Of course. 1116 01:00:38,343 --> 01:00:40,538 It was just a matter of time before Hollywood realized... 1117 01:00:40,578 --> 01:00:43,206 that adolescent wish fulfillment was the way to go. 1118 01:00:43,247 --> 01:00:44,475 Thanks, sweetie. 1119 01:00:44,515 --> 01:00:46,039 I'm in the agent training program. 1120 01:00:46,084 --> 01:00:47,949 I heard he got half a mil. 1121 01:00:47,986 --> 01:00:51,888 - For a first spec script? - Not bad. 1122 01:00:51,923 --> 01:00:53,788 Is it Duane or Wayne? 1123 01:00:53,825 --> 01:00:56,885 Who the fuck are these people? 1124 01:00:56,928 --> 01:00:58,520 I think she's on TV. 1125 01:00:58,563 --> 01:01:00,030 Oh, yeah. 1126 01:01:00,064 --> 01:01:02,089 I never slept with a girl that's been on TV. 1127 01:01:02,133 --> 01:01:06,160 That girl on "Jeopardy!" What was her name? 1128 01:01:06,204 --> 01:01:08,764 That was after we broke up. 1129 01:01:08,806 --> 01:01:10,865 - I'm Sid. - Amy. 1130 01:01:10,908 --> 01:01:12,705 Hi, Amy. How you doing? 1131 01:01:12,744 --> 01:01:15,372 I just... 1132 01:01:15,413 --> 01:01:17,779 You know how when you're at a party... 1133 01:01:17,815 --> 01:01:20,409 you go from pocket to pocket of people? 1134 01:01:20,451 --> 01:01:22,783 You don't know these people. 1135 01:01:22,820 --> 01:01:24,219 So I'm just hanging around, 1136 01:01:24,255 --> 01:01:25,882 waiting for a hole in the conversation. 1137 01:01:25,923 --> 01:01:28,153 And you had to listen to how I met my husband. 1138 01:01:28,192 --> 01:01:31,389 No. I'm glad to hear about how you met your ex-husband. 1139 01:01:42,640 --> 01:01:44,540 We should get the guys together and go to Vegas. 1140 01:01:44,575 --> 01:01:47,100 - I'm serious. - You'd want Duane to pay. 1141 01:01:47,145 --> 01:01:48,407 He would spring for it. 1142 01:01:48,446 --> 01:01:49,970 You just use your friends. 1143 01:01:50,014 --> 01:01:52,073 Don't you feel bad about using your friends like that? 1144 01:01:52,116 --> 01:01:54,311 We would all be able to go. We'd have a great time. 1145 01:01:54,352 --> 01:01:55,910 Duane's made out of money now. 1146 01:01:55,953 --> 01:01:59,116 Let's just sap him for everything he's worth? 1147 01:01:59,157 --> 01:02:01,216 The girl's a great part. 1148 01:02:01,259 --> 01:02:03,159 Yeah, I actually wrote it... 1149 01:02:03,194 --> 01:02:06,789 as sort of a cross between my wife and Betty Rubble. 1150 01:02:06,831 --> 01:02:08,924 - Really? - No, it's true. 1151 01:02:08,966 --> 01:02:12,367 I want to ask you something about what you were saying. 1152 01:02:12,403 --> 01:02:14,598 Is that like... Is that ancient history... 1153 01:02:14,639 --> 01:02:16,539 or is that recent history? 1154 01:02:16,574 --> 01:02:18,735 - Do you need help? - No, no. 1155 01:02:18,776 --> 01:02:21,574 I'm actually... Ancient enough. 1156 01:02:21,612 --> 01:02:24,843 Do I have to mingle, or are you coming back? 1157 01:02:28,453 --> 01:02:31,320 You're really tan. 1158 01:02:31,355 --> 01:02:33,186 You go to the beach a lot? 1159 01:02:33,224 --> 01:02:35,021 Yeah, I do. 1160 01:02:35,059 --> 01:02:39,325 Out of curiosity, do you shave or wax your legs? 1161 01:02:39,363 --> 01:02:40,728 I wax. 1162 01:02:40,765 --> 01:02:43,359 - Really? - Yes. 1163 01:02:43,401 --> 01:02:46,063 Bikini line? 1164 01:02:46,104 --> 01:02:49,096 I wax my bikini line, yes. 1165 01:02:49,140 --> 01:02:51,734 Did you ever think, what the fuck... 1166 01:02:51,776 --> 01:02:55,439 and just wax it all off? 1167 01:02:55,480 --> 01:02:57,141 Actually, you know what? 1168 01:02:57,181 --> 01:03:00,480 That would be painful. 1169 01:03:00,518 --> 01:03:04,511 But I do shave the actual area to get that kind of... 1170 01:03:04,555 --> 01:03:07,922 smooth effect. You know what I mean? 1171 01:03:07,959 --> 01:03:10,826 Does that make you uncomfortable? 1172 01:03:10,862 --> 01:03:12,955 No. 1173 01:03:12,997 --> 01:03:16,228 It's kind of an odd question, really. 1174 01:03:16,267 --> 01:03:17,791 What makes the script so good... 1175 01:03:17,835 --> 01:03:20,668 is that it's the woman's movie, yet it's still manly. 1176 01:03:20,705 --> 01:03:22,570 I'm a little new at this script analysis stuff, 1177 01:03:22,607 --> 01:03:24,165 but I think your husband has something that... 1178 01:03:24,208 --> 01:03:25,539 Could you excuse me for a minute? 1179 01:03:25,576 --> 01:03:27,373 Sure. I'll talk to you later. 1180 01:03:27,411 --> 01:03:29,538 Haven't they locked you up yet? 1181 01:03:29,580 --> 01:03:32,276 It's good to see you, too, Deborah. 1182 01:03:32,316 --> 01:03:35,251 Frank, I realize that crashing parties... 1183 01:03:35,286 --> 01:03:37,618 is the only thing you have for a social life, 1184 01:03:37,655 --> 01:03:38,849 but not tonight. 1185 01:03:38,890 --> 01:03:41,188 I came to congratulate my friend... 1186 01:03:41,225 --> 01:03:44,717 and to give him this. Is that OK with you? 1187 01:03:44,762 --> 01:03:47,322 It's a nice bottle. Thanks, Frank. 1188 01:03:47,365 --> 01:03:50,266 I'm sure Duane will appreciate it. 1189 01:03:50,301 --> 01:03:51,598 Drive safely now, OK? 1190 01:03:51,636 --> 01:03:53,297 Did I do something to you? 1191 01:03:53,337 --> 01:03:57,068 Get some help, Frank. She's married. 1192 01:03:57,108 --> 01:03:59,338 Have a nice party, Deborah. 1193 01:04:02,880 --> 01:04:04,472 Bye, Frank. 1194 01:04:08,152 --> 01:04:09,847 What's the film about? What's it really about? 1195 01:04:09,887 --> 01:04:11,286 What genre does it take place in? 1196 01:04:11,322 --> 01:04:14,189 What, the spine? Like one sentence? 1197 01:04:14,225 --> 01:04:16,887 "Boy meets girl". I don't give a shit about that. 1198 01:04:16,928 --> 01:04:18,589 Fuck "Boy meets girl" Fuck "Motorcycle movie". 1199 01:04:18,629 --> 01:04:20,859 No. What is really being said? 1200 01:04:20,898 --> 01:04:22,331 That's what you were talking about. 1201 01:04:22,366 --> 01:04:24,698 The whole idea, man, is subversion - 1202 01:04:24,735 --> 01:04:26,965 you want subversion on a massive level. 1203 01:04:27,004 --> 01:04:28,869 You know what one of the greatest fucking scripts... 1204 01:04:28,906 --> 01:04:30,965 ever written in the history of Hollywood is? 1205 01:04:31,008 --> 01:04:32,703 - What? - "Top Gun". 1206 01:04:32,743 --> 01:04:35,405 - Come on. - "Top Gun" is fucking great. 1207 01:04:35,446 --> 01:04:38,711 What is "Top Gun"? A story about a bunch of fighter pilots? 1208 01:04:38,749 --> 01:04:41,775 It's about a bunch of guys waving their dicks around. 1209 01:04:41,819 --> 01:04:44,185 It is a story about a man's struggle... 1210 01:04:44,222 --> 01:04:46,417 with his own homosexuality. 1211 01:04:46,457 --> 01:04:48,891 I'm serious. That is what "Top Gun" is about. 1212 01:04:48,926 --> 01:04:50,826 You've got Maverick, all right? 1213 01:04:50,861 --> 01:04:52,021 He's on the edge, man. 1214 01:04:52,063 --> 01:04:53,928 He's right on the fucking line. 1215 01:04:53,965 --> 01:04:56,456 And you got Iceman and all his crew. 1216 01:04:56,500 --> 01:04:59,765 They're gay. They represent the gay man. 1217 01:04:59,804 --> 01:05:02,102 And they're saying, "Go the gay way". 1218 01:05:02,139 --> 01:05:03,663 He could go both ways. 1219 01:05:03,708 --> 01:05:06,609 - What about Kelly McGillis? - She's heterosexuality. 1220 01:05:06,644 --> 01:05:08,942 She's saying, "No, no, no. Go the normal way." 1221 01:05:08,980 --> 01:05:10,675 "Play by the rules. Go the normal way". 1222 01:05:10,715 --> 01:05:12,342 And they're saying, "No. Go the gay way. 1223 01:05:12,383 --> 01:05:14,078 "Be the gay way. Go for the gay way". 1224 01:05:14,118 --> 01:05:16,484 That is what's going on throughout that whole movie. 1225 01:05:16,520 --> 01:05:18,818 What is this party? Who are these people? 1226 01:05:18,856 --> 01:05:21,290 They make me sick. What is that? 1227 01:05:21,325 --> 01:05:25,421 Who are you? What is he wearing? 1228 01:05:25,463 --> 01:05:30,730 It's some dance jumpsuit, freakish little gaucho... 1229 01:05:30,768 --> 01:05:34,864 "Let's go to Spain and dance with our arms over our heads". 1230 01:05:34,905 --> 01:05:36,338 He goes to her house, right? 1231 01:05:36,374 --> 01:05:37,841 It looks like they're going to have sex. 1232 01:05:37,875 --> 01:05:39,843 They're sitting back. He's taking a shower. 1233 01:05:39,877 --> 01:05:41,003 They don't have sex. 1234 01:05:41,045 --> 01:05:42,376 He gets on the motorcycle, drives away. 1235 01:05:42,413 --> 01:05:44,381 She's like, "What the fuck is going on here?" 1236 01:05:44,415 --> 01:05:48,181 Next scene you see her, she's in the elevator. 1237 01:05:48,219 --> 01:05:49,481 She is dressed like a guy! 1238 01:05:49,520 --> 01:05:52,455 She's got the cap on, the aviator glasses, 1239 01:05:52,490 --> 01:05:55,254 she's wearing the same jacket that the Iceman wears. 1240 01:05:55,293 --> 01:05:57,193 She says, "This is how I'm going to get this guy." 1241 01:05:57,228 --> 01:05:58,627 "This guy's going towards the gay way. 1242 01:05:58,663 --> 01:06:00,927 "So I gotta bring him back from the gay way. 1243 01:06:00,965 --> 01:06:02,660 "So I'll do that through subterfuge. 1244 01:06:02,700 --> 01:06:04,190 "I'll dress like a man". 1245 01:06:04,235 --> 01:06:08,194 That is how she approaches it. 1246 01:06:08,239 --> 01:06:12,175 Let me ask you - if I may digress for two seconds here... 1247 01:06:12,209 --> 01:06:14,177 I met this girl Amy here. 1248 01:06:14,211 --> 01:06:16,008 She's floating around here and everything. 1249 01:06:16,047 --> 01:06:18,015 She just got divorced, right? 1250 01:06:18,049 --> 01:06:21,177 I saw you on... What was it? 1251 01:06:21,218 --> 01:06:22,583 I was asking my friend. 1252 01:06:22,620 --> 01:06:24,212 I can't remember. 1253 01:06:24,255 --> 01:06:25,916 You know... 1254 01:06:25,956 --> 01:06:28,322 There's just a little... 1255 01:06:33,631 --> 01:06:35,121 I'm... I'm lucky. 1256 01:06:35,166 --> 01:06:36,724 We're going to drink a pot of coffee... 1257 01:06:36,767 --> 01:06:38,735 and then drive to Vegas. You want to go? 1258 01:06:38,769 --> 01:06:41,431 - What's her problem? - She doesn't want to go. 1259 01:06:41,472 --> 01:06:43,599 She doesn't like to gamble. 1260 01:07:02,360 --> 01:07:04,521 - Hang on. - Sorry. 1261 01:07:18,442 --> 01:07:20,410 We need to have a little talk. 1262 01:07:20,444 --> 01:07:23,470 I know, but this really isn't the best time. 1263 01:07:23,514 --> 01:07:25,414 Is this inconvenient for you? 1264 01:07:25,449 --> 01:07:26,780 I could leave if you'd like. 1265 01:07:26,817 --> 01:07:30,719 - I'll call you. - Should I come back? OK. 1266 01:07:30,755 --> 01:07:32,017 What are you doing? 1267 01:07:32,056 --> 01:07:34,581 You answer me one thing. Right now. 1268 01:07:34,625 --> 01:07:36,923 Maybe it was my imagination, or maybe I dreamt it, 1269 01:07:36,961 --> 01:07:38,519 but was it not exactly six days ago... 1270 01:07:38,562 --> 01:07:39,961 that we made the most incredible love... 1271 01:07:39,997 --> 01:07:41,487 and you told me that you loved me? 1272 01:07:41,532 --> 01:07:43,022 Was it or not? 1273 01:07:44,301 --> 01:07:45,598 Sarah, how's it going? 1274 01:07:45,636 --> 01:07:46,796 - Hi. - You having a good time? 1275 01:07:46,837 --> 01:07:48,498 Oh, yeah. 1276 01:07:48,539 --> 01:07:50,871 Can I double-check something with you? 1277 01:07:50,908 --> 01:07:53,843 Do you see anything in my teeth? 1278 01:07:55,312 --> 01:07:57,212 No. 1279 01:07:57,248 --> 01:08:00,308 I didn't, either. Nice schmooze-fest, huh? 1280 01:08:02,119 --> 01:08:03,450 Is everything OK? 1281 01:08:03,487 --> 01:08:06,718 Great. I'm just hanging. 1282 01:08:06,757 --> 01:08:09,817 Oh, OK. 1283 01:08:09,860 --> 01:08:11,487 - All right. - Yeah. 1284 01:08:11,529 --> 01:08:14,862 - See you later. - OK. Bye, Rory. 1285 01:08:14,899 --> 01:08:16,958 Bye. 1286 01:08:18,669 --> 01:08:20,762 You have to go now. 1287 01:08:20,805 --> 01:08:24,036 Did it happen or not? 1288 01:08:24,074 --> 01:08:25,735 It happened. 1289 01:08:25,776 --> 01:08:27,038 Well, thank God, 1290 01:08:27,077 --> 01:08:30,012 because I was starting to think I went insane. 1291 01:08:30,047 --> 01:08:33,073 I told you I need some time. 1292 01:08:34,485 --> 01:08:37,921 Sarah, it doesn't take six days to pack your bags. 1293 01:08:37,955 --> 01:08:39,650 It does if you keep unpacking them. 1294 01:08:39,690 --> 01:08:41,021 It's right through there. 1295 01:08:43,294 --> 01:08:44,488 You waiting? 1296 01:08:44,528 --> 01:08:46,689 Waiting? Yeah! 1297 01:08:46,730 --> 01:08:50,063 And after that, I'm going back into the party... 1298 01:08:50,100 --> 01:08:53,536 and I'm not going to talk to you again tonight. 1299 01:08:53,571 --> 01:08:56,540 OK. 1300 01:08:56,574 --> 01:08:58,064 Do I know you? 1301 01:08:59,743 --> 01:09:01,233 No. 1302 01:09:02,847 --> 01:09:04,178 OK. 1303 01:09:09,453 --> 01:09:11,216 Yeah. 1304 01:09:11,255 --> 01:09:13,348 Yeah, I'm still here. 1305 01:09:13,390 --> 01:09:17,383 Jesus Christ! God! 1306 01:09:19,263 --> 01:09:22,232 There's a man with a beard coming through the window! 1307 01:09:22,266 --> 01:09:26,930 Jesus! Jesus Christ! No, I'm... 1308 01:09:26,971 --> 01:09:29,405 Sarah, I'm not leaving without you. 1309 01:09:29,440 --> 01:09:31,533 Dennis Hopper just climbed through the window. 1310 01:09:31,575 --> 01:09:34,840 - You can't keep doing this! - Doing what? 1311 01:09:34,879 --> 01:09:37,279 Hiding the fact that your marriage is a piece of paper... 1312 01:09:37,314 --> 01:09:39,145 and you and I are flesh and blood! 1313 01:09:39,183 --> 01:09:40,650 This is something out of "Fatal Attraction". 1314 01:09:40,684 --> 01:09:42,777 No. There's this weird woman in the bathroom. 1315 01:09:42,820 --> 01:09:44,788 Excuse me, but could you take that outside? 1316 01:09:44,822 --> 01:09:46,881 I'm waiting to go to the bathroom. 1317 01:09:46,924 --> 01:09:50,257 - Could you please get out? - Out! Come here. 1318 01:09:50,294 --> 01:09:52,387 Thank you very, very much! 1319 01:09:52,429 --> 01:09:54,624 Look, come here. 1320 01:09:54,665 --> 01:09:56,633 What the hell's the matter with you? 1321 01:09:56,667 --> 01:09:59,966 Yeah, OK, so we slept together. 1322 01:10:00,004 --> 01:10:03,167 It was great, but that doesn't mean... 1323 01:10:03,207 --> 01:10:05,971 it wasn't a huge mistake, you know? 1324 01:10:06,010 --> 01:10:07,534 That's what you call it? A mistake? 1325 01:10:07,578 --> 01:10:10,012 Look at us right now. We're in Duane's bathroom, 1326 01:10:10,047 --> 01:10:11,947 at a party you weren't invited to. 1327 01:10:11,982 --> 01:10:13,882 I think this qualifies as a mistake. 1328 01:10:13,918 --> 01:10:15,044 Then why did you sleep with me? 1329 01:10:15,085 --> 01:10:17,553 Why did you tell me about the green umbrella? 1330 01:10:17,588 --> 01:10:18,748 You asked me about it. 1331 01:10:18,789 --> 01:10:21,121 No, you forced me to. And you want to know what? 1332 01:10:21,158 --> 01:10:23,285 We aren't talking about your umbrella or Joe's umbrella. 1333 01:10:23,327 --> 01:10:24,988 We're talking about my fucking umbrella. 1334 01:10:25,029 --> 01:10:28,692 And it wasn't even my umbrella. It belonged to my friend. 1335 01:10:28,732 --> 01:10:30,495 I don't give a shit about the umbrella! 1336 01:10:30,534 --> 01:10:33,594 I'm in love with you. Don't you understand that? 1337 01:10:33,637 --> 01:10:34,831 That doesn't give you the license... 1338 01:10:34,872 --> 01:10:36,567 to do any stupid thing that comes into your head. 1339 01:10:36,607 --> 01:10:38,438 This is not stupid. 1340 01:10:41,078 --> 01:10:45,242 I just... I'm sorry. 1341 01:10:45,282 --> 01:10:48,513 I want to kiss you without feeling guilty. 1342 01:10:48,552 --> 01:10:50,076 You know? 1343 01:10:51,689 --> 01:10:54,317 All right. Fair enough. 1344 01:10:54,358 --> 01:10:57,691 How much time do you need? 1345 01:10:57,728 --> 01:11:00,526 Would you go away? 1346 01:11:00,564 --> 01:11:02,191 Honey? 1347 01:11:04,568 --> 01:11:07,002 I'm sorry. I thought you were the phone guy. 1348 01:11:07,037 --> 01:11:10,939 I'll be right out. 1349 01:11:12,176 --> 01:11:14,337 Honey, I want to get out of here pretty soon. 1350 01:11:14,378 --> 01:11:18,041 I'll meet you at the front door in a few minutes. 1351 01:11:19,550 --> 01:11:21,177 Are you all right? 1352 01:11:21,218 --> 01:11:24,949 Yeah, I'm fine. I... 1353 01:11:24,989 --> 01:11:27,890 I'm fine. I just... I have a little... 1354 01:11:27,925 --> 01:11:29,916 Could you have Deborah come here? 1355 01:11:29,960 --> 01:11:31,928 Honey, what's going on? 1356 01:11:31,962 --> 01:11:35,489 It's a woman thing, honey. You don't want to know. 1357 01:11:36,834 --> 01:11:38,131 OK. 1358 01:11:38,168 --> 01:11:39,533 OK. 1359 01:11:49,113 --> 01:11:50,978 You've got to get out. 1360 01:11:51,015 --> 01:11:52,380 Where am I going to go? 1361 01:11:54,551 --> 01:11:57,714 Get in. Get back in there! 1362 01:12:06,964 --> 01:12:08,932 - Hello? - Hi. 1363 01:12:08,966 --> 01:12:11,093 - Are you OK? - Yeah. 1364 01:12:14,338 --> 01:12:16,533 - Frank? - Yeah. 1365 01:12:19,843 --> 01:12:21,708 Frank, come out here. 1366 01:12:23,047 --> 01:12:24,537 Frank! 1367 01:12:32,189 --> 01:12:34,987 Frank, go out the way you came in. 1368 01:12:35,025 --> 01:12:37,323 I'll call you. 1369 01:12:38,962 --> 01:12:40,224 Thanks for having me. 1370 01:12:40,264 --> 01:12:42,494 Thanks for stopping by. 1371 01:12:42,533 --> 01:12:45,127 Are you OK? 1372 01:12:45,169 --> 01:12:47,296 Yeah. 1373 01:12:47,337 --> 01:12:49,328 Fuck, I don't know what I am. 1374 01:12:49,373 --> 01:12:51,034 Hi. 1375 01:12:54,411 --> 01:12:55,969 What's happening? 1376 01:12:56,013 --> 01:12:59,449 My life is fucked. 1377 01:12:59,483 --> 01:13:00,677 But the real ending of the movie... 1378 01:13:00,718 --> 01:13:02,618 is when they fight the MIGs at the end. 1379 01:13:02,653 --> 01:13:04,780 Because he has passed over into the gay way. 1380 01:13:04,822 --> 01:13:07,586 They are this gay fighting fucking force, 1381 01:13:07,624 --> 01:13:10,457 and they're beating the Russians. 1382 01:13:10,494 --> 01:13:12,724 And it's over, and they fucking land, 1383 01:13:12,763 --> 01:13:15,459 and Iceman's been trying to get Maverick the entire time. 1384 01:13:15,499 --> 01:13:17,091 Finally, he's got him, all right? 1385 01:13:17,134 --> 01:13:19,466 What is the last fucking line that they have together? 1386 01:13:19,503 --> 01:13:21,630 They're all hugging and kissing and happy, 1387 01:13:21,672 --> 01:13:23,765 and Ice comes up to Maverick, and he says... 1388 01:13:23,807 --> 01:13:27,607 "Man, you can ride my tail anytime"! 1389 01:13:27,644 --> 01:13:29,134 And what does Maverick say? 1390 01:13:29,179 --> 01:13:31,272 "You can ride mine"! 1391 01:13:31,315 --> 01:13:35,718 Sword fight! Sword fight! 1392 01:13:35,753 --> 01:13:39,018 - Fucking "A," man! - Yeah! 1393 01:13:58,142 --> 01:14:01,600 Jesus Christ! You scared the shit out of me. 1394 01:14:01,645 --> 01:14:04,136 I thought this was your car. 1395 01:14:04,181 --> 01:14:07,207 I didn't see you at the party. 1396 01:14:09,486 --> 01:14:12,785 Deborah wouldn't let me in. 1397 01:14:12,823 --> 01:14:15,018 Really? 1398 01:14:15,058 --> 01:14:16,855 Yeah. 1399 01:14:16,894 --> 01:14:18,452 I love Deborah. 1400 01:14:19,763 --> 01:14:24,257 She's a little abrasive sometimes, don't you think? 1401 01:14:24,301 --> 01:14:25,700 Yeah. 1402 01:14:28,372 --> 01:14:30,397 I wonder how Duane puts up with her. 1403 01:14:30,440 --> 01:14:33,068 Yeah, or how she puts up with him, huh? 1404 01:14:33,110 --> 01:14:37,604 Yeah. They're married. 1405 01:14:38,882 --> 01:14:45,617 That's part of what marriage is - putting up. 1406 01:14:48,725 --> 01:14:51,819 No, thanks. I got my own. 1407 01:14:55,332 --> 01:14:58,062 To old friends. 1408 01:15:11,882 --> 01:15:14,442 Your car needs some work, man. 1409 01:15:14,484 --> 01:15:17,282 Yeah, it could definitely use a new interior. 1410 01:15:17,321 --> 01:15:20,654 You never knew how to take care of your stuff, man. 1411 01:15:24,361 --> 01:15:26,420 Well, I... 1412 01:15:28,999 --> 01:15:31,524 What about that... 1413 01:15:31,568 --> 01:15:33,798 that motorcycle you had... 1414 01:15:33,837 --> 01:15:39,104 with the little speakers on it and the fuzzy seats? 1415 01:15:41,144 --> 01:15:43,442 That thing was trashed. 1416 01:15:45,716 --> 01:15:46,910 Yeah. 1417 01:15:46,950 --> 01:15:50,010 - What was it like? - What? 1418 01:15:51,755 --> 01:15:53,780 Sleeping with my wife. 1419 01:15:55,926 --> 01:15:58,156 Huh? 1420 01:16:00,998 --> 01:16:02,625 Huh? 1421 01:16:04,167 --> 01:16:06,260 What was it like? 1422 01:16:08,138 --> 01:16:09,969 It's OK, man. She told me. 1423 01:16:10,007 --> 01:16:12,601 I just want to know what it was like. 1424 01:16:15,812 --> 01:16:17,006 I'm in love with her, Joseph. 1425 01:16:17,047 --> 01:16:19,572 I know that. 1426 01:16:19,616 --> 01:16:22,710 You've made that abundantly clear. 1427 01:16:26,590 --> 01:16:28,217 I should have told you... 1428 01:16:28,258 --> 01:16:30,783 No, you should not have fucked her! 1429 01:16:30,827 --> 01:16:32,192 That's what you shouldn't have done! 1430 01:16:32,229 --> 01:16:34,595 I didn't fuck her. I made love to her. 1431 01:16:34,631 --> 01:16:36,121 - Really? - Yes. 1432 01:16:36,166 --> 01:16:37,895 So sweet. Why don't you shut up for a minute? 1433 01:16:37,935 --> 01:16:40,267 Why don't you shut up? 1434 01:16:40,304 --> 01:16:42,670 I'm not the only one involved. It was her choice! 1435 01:16:42,706 --> 01:16:44,674 Really? Is that so? 1436 01:16:44,708 --> 01:16:46,573 I seem to remember her choosing me, 1437 01:16:46,610 --> 01:16:47,810 but maybe I got it wrong here. 1438 01:16:47,844 --> 01:16:50,039 Maybe I should go ask her right now. 1439 01:16:50,080 --> 01:16:52,173 Why do you want to make a big show of this? 1440 01:16:52,215 --> 01:16:54,149 Maybe I should go ask her. We're all here. 1441 01:16:54,184 --> 01:16:58,177 We can fucking get this out right now, all right? 1442 01:16:58,221 --> 01:16:59,848 Joseph! 1443 01:16:59,890 --> 01:17:02,324 Joseph, Joseph. 1444 01:17:02,359 --> 01:17:03,656 What are you doing? 1445 01:17:03,694 --> 01:17:06,128 Were you able to stop yourself, Frank? 1446 01:17:08,899 --> 01:17:11,094 - Sarah? - This isn't going to help. 1447 01:17:11,134 --> 01:17:12,999 - Joe. - Sarah? 1448 01:17:13,036 --> 01:17:15,300 It's your lawful-wedded husband here! 1449 01:17:15,339 --> 01:17:16,704 I think it's time we had a little talk! 1450 01:17:16,740 --> 01:17:17,968 Get the fuck off! 1451 01:17:18,008 --> 01:17:20,636 Sarah, get your little ass out here! 1452 01:17:20,677 --> 01:17:22,235 Kick his ass! 1453 01:17:22,279 --> 01:17:24,804 Stop it! What are you doing? 1454 01:17:24,848 --> 01:17:28,443 Stop it. What's your problem? Do you have something... 1455 01:17:28,485 --> 01:17:30,976 Frank over here informed me that you chose him, 1456 01:17:31,021 --> 01:17:32,454 which I find a little confusing... 1457 01:17:32,489 --> 01:17:33,717 because I seem to remember you marrying me, 1458 01:17:33,757 --> 01:17:35,850 but apparently he was the last one to fuck you, 1459 01:17:35,892 --> 01:17:38,360 so maybe I'm wrong! 1460 01:17:39,529 --> 01:17:41,520 Take it home, guy. 1461 01:17:41,565 --> 01:17:46,264 In case anybody didn't get that, my husband over here... 1462 01:17:46,303 --> 01:17:48,328 wants to know why I fucked Frank over here. 1463 01:17:48,372 --> 01:17:50,966 He seems to think that if he humiliates me, 1464 01:17:51,008 --> 01:17:53,806 it will put me in my fucking little place. 1465 01:17:53,844 --> 01:17:55,402 But what you don't understand, buddy, 1466 01:17:55,445 --> 01:17:58,380 is I don't give a fuck, because as far as I'm concerned, 1467 01:17:58,415 --> 01:18:00,110 this marriage is over! 1468 01:18:03,353 --> 01:18:04,911 Happy now? 1469 01:18:06,990 --> 01:18:09,618 What about you? Isn't this what you wanted? 1470 01:18:09,659 --> 01:18:11,524 What do you think? 1471 01:18:11,561 --> 01:18:13,893 Then who the hell's happy here? 1472 01:18:13,930 --> 01:18:15,227 What, is it you? 1473 01:18:15,265 --> 01:18:17,233 Frank, are you the happy guy here? 1474 01:18:17,267 --> 01:18:19,667 Right. I'm sorry. You happened to fall in love. 1475 01:18:19,703 --> 01:18:21,227 I don't want to stand in the way... 1476 01:18:21,271 --> 01:18:23,034 of my two best friends falling in love, 1477 01:18:23,073 --> 01:18:25,166 so you guys go off and live happily ever after. 1478 01:18:25,208 --> 01:18:28,541 Joseph, fuck you. I married you. 1479 01:18:28,578 --> 01:18:30,773 Then why did you fuck him? 1480 01:18:30,814 --> 01:18:34,614 What about that fucking slut you left that party with? 1481 01:18:34,651 --> 01:18:36,983 Listen to me. I did not fuck her. 1482 01:18:37,020 --> 01:18:39,614 I could have, but I didn't. 1483 01:18:42,893 --> 01:18:44,690 Give me the keys. 1484 01:18:46,229 --> 01:18:47,753 What? 1485 01:18:47,798 --> 01:18:49,163 It's my car. Give me the keys. 1486 01:18:49,199 --> 01:18:51,463 We're starting the distribution of property? 1487 01:18:51,501 --> 01:18:54,436 Give me the fucking keys! 1488 01:18:54,471 --> 01:18:55,699 Honey, where are you going? 1489 01:18:55,739 --> 01:18:57,400 Wherever the fuck I want! 1490 01:18:57,441 --> 01:19:01,639 - Sarah! - Frank, I'm sorry. 1491 01:19:01,678 --> 01:19:05,114 This isn't me, you know. You did this! 1492 01:19:15,725 --> 01:19:17,215 I'm sorry, Joe. 1493 01:19:18,728 --> 01:19:21,697 That's really special, Frank. You fuck my wife, 1494 01:19:21,731 --> 01:19:23,130 ruin my marriage, she dumps you, 1495 01:19:23,166 --> 01:19:25,726 but the important thing is that you feel bad. 1496 01:19:31,174 --> 01:19:33,074 She stopped at the light. 1497 01:19:50,093 --> 01:19:52,084 You son of a bitch. 1498 01:20:09,146 --> 01:20:10,613 Sarah! 1499 01:20:13,049 --> 01:20:14,710 Oh, God. 1500 01:20:22,526 --> 01:20:23,857 Get in. 1501 01:20:42,979 --> 01:20:46,779 Do you ever think that we have too much time on our hands? 1502 01:20:46,816 --> 01:20:48,249 With all the advances we've made... 1503 01:20:48,285 --> 01:20:50,185 in extending the human life span... 1504 01:20:50,220 --> 01:20:53,451 that perhaps nature's cruelest irony... 1505 01:20:53,490 --> 01:20:57,688 is that we get progressively stupider and stupider... 1506 01:20:57,727 --> 01:21:00,252 with each passing generation? 1507 01:21:00,297 --> 01:21:05,030 Someday, we'll live for 300 years... 1508 01:21:05,068 --> 01:21:09,835 but we won't be able to sit still for five seconds. 1509 01:21:12,776 --> 01:21:14,573 Just a thought. 1510 01:25:59,074 --> 01:26:07,074 Published 10/13/2012 @ www.podnapisi.net 108339

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