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1
00:00:01,793 --> 00:00:04,034
The cover model, she was so...
2
00:00:04,068 --> 00:00:06,827
I wish I could look like that.
3
00:00:06,862 --> 00:00:08,206
You've never seen her before?
4
00:00:18,551 --> 00:00:19,551
Much better.
5
00:00:27,344 --> 00:00:28,655
Hey.
6
00:00:28,689 --> 00:00:30,172
Love the look.
7
00:00:49,827 --> 00:00:51,724
I'm ready to clean my closet.
8
00:00:55,413 --> 00:00:56,586
Where are you?
9
00:00:56,620 --> 00:00:58,758
You didn't see me.
I was never here.
10
00:00:58,793 --> 00:01:01,275
Sabrina, have you seen Salem?
11
00:01:01,310 --> 00:01:03,103
Um... no?
12
00:01:03,137 --> 00:01:05,206
Salem: You are the worst liar.
13
00:01:05,241 --> 00:01:06,620
Come on.
14
00:01:06,655 --> 00:01:08,310
No, I won't go!
15
00:01:08,344 --> 00:01:10,551
I won't go! I won't go!
16
00:01:10,586 --> 00:01:13,137
Oh, is it time for Salem
to be wormed again?
17
00:01:13,172 --> 00:01:16,103
Salem: No, worse. I have
to do community service.
18
00:01:16,137 --> 00:01:17,275
It's part of his punishment
19
00:01:17,310 --> 00:01:19,275
for attempting global conquest.
20
00:01:19,310 --> 00:01:21,251
As if being a cat for a
hundred years wasn't enough
21
00:01:21,275 --> 00:01:23,758
Zelda had to put me in a
pets for prisoners program.
22
00:01:23,793 --> 00:01:25,310
I gave you a choice.
23
00:01:25,344 --> 00:01:27,034
You could have
done highway cleanup.
24
00:01:27,068 --> 00:01:29,724
Yeah, cats do real
well on highways.
25
00:01:29,758 --> 00:01:33,379
Stop complaining and get your wormy
little butt downstairs in two minutes.
26
00:01:33,413 --> 00:01:35,206
It's time to pay
your debt to society.
27
00:01:35,241 --> 00:01:37,034
Can't I just write a check?
28
00:01:37,068 --> 00:01:38,217
I don't know what
your problem is.
29
00:01:38,241 --> 00:01:39,517
It's nice to help people.
30
00:01:39,551 --> 00:01:42,241
And what nice things
have you done lately?
31
00:01:42,275 --> 00:01:44,448
Me? I do nice
things all the time.
32
00:01:44,482 --> 00:01:45,206
Really?
33
00:01:45,241 --> 00:01:47,137
Since you got magical powers
34
00:01:47,172 --> 00:01:49,137
all I've seen you do
is change your clothes
35
00:01:49,172 --> 00:01:51,137
and make Brussels
sprouts disappear.
36
00:01:51,172 --> 00:01:52,620
That's not true
and I'll prove it.
37
00:01:52,655 --> 00:01:55,620
I'll use my magic to do three nice
things before the end of school today.
38
00:01:55,655 --> 00:01:56,448
Easy.
39
00:01:56,482 --> 00:01:57,379
Not so easy.
40
00:01:57,413 --> 00:01:59,068
Before you shoot
your little finger off
41
00:01:59,103 --> 00:02:01,137
you better consider
the consequences.
42
00:02:01,172 --> 00:02:04,172
Or terrriblethings could happen.
43
00:02:07,137 --> 00:02:09,275
Hi. My name's Jenny.
44
00:02:09,310 --> 00:02:10,700
I'm running for
sophomore class president.
45
00:02:10,724 --> 00:02:12,068
I'm with the outsider party.
46
00:02:12,103 --> 00:02:13,689
Hi. My name is Libby.
47
00:02:13,724 --> 00:02:15,620
I'm also running
for class president.
48
00:02:15,655 --> 00:02:17,206
But I'm with the popular party.
49
00:02:17,241 --> 00:02:19,275
A vote for me is a
vote for smaller classes
50
00:02:19,310 --> 00:02:20,827
and more funding for the arts.
51
00:02:20,862 --> 00:02:24,689
A vote for me is a vote
for more pizza at lunch.
52
00:02:24,724 --> 00:02:26,034
I'm voting for her.
53
00:02:29,413 --> 00:02:31,493
She's pretty much killing
you with that pizza platform.
54
00:02:31,517 --> 00:02:32,689
I don't get it.
55
00:02:32,724 --> 00:02:35,137
Why doesn't anybody want
to support the outsider party?
56
00:02:35,172 --> 00:02:37,793
Maybe because you named
it after their biggest fear?
57
00:02:37,827 --> 00:02:39,793
Libby thinks being
class president
58
00:02:39,827 --> 00:02:42,068
is about lunch food and dances.
59
00:02:42,103 --> 00:02:43,793
Call me idealistic,
but I really want
60
00:02:43,827 --> 00:02:45,413
to make this school
a better place.
61
00:02:45,448 --> 00:02:46,724
Hey, you got my vote.
62
00:02:46,758 --> 00:02:49,172
Which gives me a
grand total of two.
63
00:02:49,206 --> 00:02:50,137
Poor Jenny.
64
00:02:50,172 --> 00:02:51,517
There's nothing like losing
65
00:02:51,551 --> 00:02:54,000
to say, "you're a loser."
66
00:02:56,862 --> 00:02:58,137
I wish I could win.
67
00:02:58,172 --> 00:03:00,103
I really wanted to
make a difference.
68
00:03:11,586 --> 00:03:13,172
That's one nice thing.
69
00:03:16,586 --> 00:03:19,482
Hey, Harvey.
70
00:03:19,517 --> 00:03:20,724
Whoa! What's that smell?
71
00:03:20,758 --> 00:03:23,068
Protein shake. Coach says I need
72
00:03:23,103 --> 00:03:25,379
to bulk up if I ever want
to start at running back.
73
00:03:25,413 --> 00:03:27,620
Well, you look fatter.
74
00:03:27,655 --> 00:03:29,000
That's sweet of you.
75
00:03:30,172 --> 00:03:31,551
But you see that guy over there?
76
00:03:31,586 --> 00:03:33,724
That's Randy, the destroyer.
77
00:03:33,758 --> 00:03:35,689
Unless I put on 20
pounds or he gets injured
78
00:03:35,724 --> 00:03:37,517
I stay on the bench.
79
00:03:37,551 --> 00:03:39,206
Man, I want to play.
80
00:03:39,241 --> 00:03:40,758
You want to go in?
81
00:03:40,793 --> 00:03:43,620
Yeah, I'll be there in a sec.
82
00:03:43,655 --> 00:03:44,655
Hey, watch it!
83
00:03:47,379 --> 00:03:48,206
Ow!
84
00:03:48,241 --> 00:03:50,275
My hand!
85
00:03:50,310 --> 00:03:51,344
That's two.
86
00:03:53,172 --> 00:03:55,172
Sorry I'm late, but
my car broke down.
87
00:03:55,206 --> 00:03:59,344
I made the mistake of trying
to go uphill in my amc gremlin.
88
00:03:59,379 --> 00:04:01,241
Why don't you just get
a better car, Mr. Pool?
89
00:04:01,275 --> 00:04:02,344
Like a Ferrari?
90
00:04:02,379 --> 00:04:03,758
Sure, you know what?
91
00:04:03,793 --> 00:04:05,827
I'm going to run
right out and buy one.
92
00:04:05,862 --> 00:04:07,620
And I'll pay for it
with... frustration.
93
00:04:07,655 --> 00:04:09,793
Now can we move on to science?
94
00:04:09,827 --> 00:04:11,734
All right, today we're going
to talk about the elements
95
00:04:11,758 --> 00:04:13,724
and why one can't
turn lead into gold
96
00:04:13,758 --> 00:04:16,310
no matter how hard one tries.
97
00:04:18,206 --> 00:04:21,793
And radon, the heaviest
of the noble gases.
98
00:04:21,827 --> 00:04:22,758
Don't laugh.
99
00:04:22,793 --> 00:04:23,793
[ Bell rings]
100
00:04:23,827 --> 00:04:25,586
Read chapter four tonight.
101
00:04:25,620 --> 00:04:27,517
And take showers.
102
00:04:27,551 --> 00:04:30,034
Especially you.
103
00:04:30,068 --> 00:04:31,517
Hey, Mr. Pool, are you okay?
104
00:04:31,551 --> 00:04:32,803
You seem
especially bitter today.
105
00:04:32,827 --> 00:04:34,655
Me? I'm fine.
106
00:04:36,724 --> 00:04:38,241
What a mess!
107
00:04:38,275 --> 00:04:39,482
It's just a bunch of papers.
108
00:04:39,517 --> 00:04:41,758
No, my life.
109
00:04:41,793 --> 00:04:43,448
I've been a teacher seven years
110
00:04:43,482 --> 00:04:45,724
and I still can't afford
a new briefcase.
111
00:04:45,758 --> 00:04:47,241
I foundthis one.
112
00:04:47,275 --> 00:04:49,586
I was wondering who t.G.K. Was.
113
00:04:49,620 --> 00:04:50,758
Just to pay my bills
114
00:04:50,793 --> 00:04:52,310
I have to work cafeteria duty
115
00:04:52,344 --> 00:04:54,172
I have to supervise
the science club
116
00:04:54,206 --> 00:04:55,620
and on weekends
117
00:04:55,655 --> 00:04:59,689
I... wash principal larue's car.
118
00:04:59,724 --> 00:05:01,665
Well, maybe you should
consider doing something else.
119
00:05:01,689 --> 00:05:03,448
Like what? I love
teaching science.
120
00:05:03,482 --> 00:05:06,103
It's the only good
thing in my life.
121
00:05:06,137 --> 00:05:08,344
Well, you have a lot of coupons.
122
00:05:08,379 --> 00:05:10,034
Thanks.
123
00:05:10,068 --> 00:05:12,827
Oh, this one for 40 cents
off fruitkooks has expired.
124
00:05:12,862 --> 00:05:15,482
No!
125
00:05:15,517 --> 00:05:17,827
Ah, who are they
fooling, anyway?
126
00:05:17,862 --> 00:05:19,424
You can no more
sweeten a cookie with fruit
127
00:05:19,448 --> 00:05:21,344
than you can
turn lead into gold.
128
00:05:25,103 --> 00:05:27,034
Or can you?
129
00:05:27,068 --> 00:05:28,344
Wait a minute.
130
00:05:28,379 --> 00:05:30,448
Why didn't I think
of this before?
131
00:05:30,482 --> 00:05:32,379
Lead is pb...
132
00:05:32,413 --> 00:05:34,827
Mercury with...
133
00:05:34,862 --> 00:05:37,655
Thanks for helping me
pick up my stuff, Sabrina.
134
00:05:37,689 --> 00:05:39,137
Now get out. I'm onto something.
135
00:05:43,448 --> 00:05:45,689
Yes! Yes!
136
00:05:45,724 --> 00:05:48,172
This would turn lead into gold!
137
00:05:48,206 --> 00:05:51,103
But that's alchemy and it
defies the laws of physics.
138
00:05:51,137 --> 00:05:52,493
Ah, who cares?
I'm going to be rich!
139
00:05:52,517 --> 00:05:53,517
Whoo!
140
00:05:56,482 --> 00:05:58,448
That's three nice things.
141
00:05:58,482 --> 00:06:00,068
[ Violin playing off-key]
142
00:06:04,241 --> 00:06:05,758
That was very good, Jeffrey.
143
00:06:05,793 --> 00:06:07,551
But your e-string needs tuning.
144
00:06:07,586 --> 00:06:08,586
I'll be right back.
145
00:06:13,206 --> 00:06:14,517
This one's for Mozart.
146
00:06:16,275 --> 00:06:18,551
Hey, guys.
147
00:06:18,586 --> 00:06:20,241
Oh, I see Jeffrey's here.
148
00:06:20,275 --> 00:06:23,068
Yep. Mozart started
spinning in his grave
149
00:06:23,103 --> 00:06:24,413
about ten minutes ago.
150
00:06:24,448 --> 00:06:27,586
Oh, please, let the
poor man rest in peace.
151
00:06:27,620 --> 00:06:29,000
I don't get it, aunt hilda.
152
00:06:29,034 --> 00:06:31,389
Why don't you just use your
magic to make Jeffrey play better?
153
00:06:31,413 --> 00:06:33,620
Wouldn't that be a nice
thing for him and for us?
154
00:06:33,655 --> 00:06:35,344
Yes, but I would never do that.
155
00:06:35,379 --> 00:06:37,034
That's right. You
must be careful
156
00:06:37,068 --> 00:06:38,620
about meddling
in mortals' lives.
157
00:06:38,655 --> 00:06:39,620
We witches have rules.
158
00:06:39,655 --> 00:06:41,206
Who cares about the rules?
159
00:06:41,241 --> 00:06:44,241
I just want Jeffrey to
keep paying for lessons.
160
00:06:44,275 --> 00:06:46,517
Well, I've got to get back.
161
00:06:46,551 --> 00:06:47,724
Must you?
162
00:06:51,137 --> 00:06:52,206
[ Plucks note]
163
00:06:52,241 --> 00:06:53,310
Perfect.
164
00:06:53,344 --> 00:06:56,379
Like it matters.
165
00:06:56,413 --> 00:06:57,700
Aunt hilda, I'm
still a little confused
166
00:06:57,724 --> 00:06:59,034
about this meddling thing.
167
00:06:59,068 --> 00:07:01,586
Why is it you can't you use magic
to make someone's life better?
168
00:07:01,620 --> 00:07:04,827
Because it's impossible to know
what would make a mortal happy.
169
00:07:04,862 --> 00:07:07,103
What if you knew exactly
what would make them happy?
170
00:07:07,137 --> 00:07:09,310
You still can't predict
the consequences.
171
00:07:09,344 --> 00:07:11,241
But wouldn't those
consequences just be good?
172
00:07:11,275 --> 00:07:14,379
Well, in some cases the
consequences might be good
173
00:07:14,413 --> 00:07:16,517
but then again
174
00:07:16,551 --> 00:07:19,793
terrriblethings could happen.
175
00:07:22,310 --> 00:07:23,310
Hey.
176
00:07:23,344 --> 00:07:24,827
Any word on the election?
177
00:07:24,862 --> 00:07:27,517
Not officially,
but this came out.
178
00:07:29,413 --> 00:07:30,562
How can they print
that Libby's won
179
00:07:30,586 --> 00:07:32,344
when the results haven't
been announced yet?
180
00:07:32,379 --> 00:07:33,827
It's a weekly, Sabrina.
181
00:07:33,862 --> 00:07:35,172
They usually just go on a hunch.
182
00:07:35,206 --> 00:07:37,137
Yeah, well, I have a hunch too.
183
00:07:37,172 --> 00:07:39,310
Attention students,
this is principal larue.
184
00:07:39,344 --> 00:07:43,241
I have in my hands the results of a
grand experiment called democracy.
185
00:07:43,275 --> 00:07:44,068
Just say it.
186
00:07:44,103 --> 00:07:45,320
For president of
the freshman class
187
00:07:45,344 --> 00:07:47,551
the winner is Andy gallop.
188
00:07:47,586 --> 00:07:50,448
For president of the
sophomore class, the winner is...
189
00:07:50,482 --> 00:07:51,310
Libby chessler.
190
00:07:51,344 --> 00:07:52,517
Jennifer Kelly.
191
00:07:52,551 --> 00:07:55,103
[ Shrieks]
192
00:07:55,137 --> 00:07:56,413
Can you believe I won?
193
00:07:56,448 --> 00:07:58,172
Yes, I can.
194
00:07:58,206 --> 00:07:59,646
How about a picture
for the yearbook?
195
00:08:02,724 --> 00:08:04,586
Hey, congratulations, Jenny.
196
00:08:04,620 --> 00:08:05,758
I'm really glad you won.
197
00:08:05,793 --> 00:08:09,034
It's because people like you
voted for me and not pizza.
198
00:08:09,068 --> 00:08:10,758
Uh, right.
199
00:08:10,793 --> 00:08:12,586
I'm having a great day too.
200
00:08:12,620 --> 00:08:15,482
Coach just told me I'm starting
at running back tomorrow.
201
00:08:15,517 --> 00:08:17,079
That's great. That's what
you wanted, right, Harvey?
202
00:08:17,103 --> 00:08:18,275
Absolutely.
203
00:08:18,310 --> 00:08:19,562
You guys going to
come watch me play?
204
00:08:19,586 --> 00:08:20,724
Sure. Cool.
205
00:08:20,758 --> 00:08:22,448
Cool.
206
00:08:22,482 --> 00:08:25,655
Don't be late, 'cause,
you know, I'm starting.
207
00:08:27,206 --> 00:08:29,172
Libby, I just wanted to say
208
00:08:29,206 --> 00:08:31,551
that I think you handled
your defeat very gracefully.
209
00:08:31,586 --> 00:08:32,655
Oh, bite me.
210
00:08:34,827 --> 00:08:36,551
Sorry, I'm late
211
00:08:36,586 --> 00:08:39,068
but I was out buying a new car.
212
00:08:39,103 --> 00:08:41,758
A Ferrari, since you asked.
213
00:08:41,793 --> 00:08:43,482
Yes, thanks to the miracle
214
00:08:43,517 --> 00:08:45,103
of science and an educated brain
215
00:08:45,137 --> 00:08:48,413
I now have one...
Wicked set of wheels.
216
00:08:48,448 --> 00:08:50,206
Okay, whoever can explain
217
00:08:50,241 --> 00:08:52,482
the krebs cycle
gets a lump of gold.
218
00:08:52,517 --> 00:08:55,551
Isn't learning fun?
219
00:08:55,586 --> 00:08:56,482
Salem, you're back.
220
00:08:56,517 --> 00:08:57,586
How was jail?
221
00:08:57,620 --> 00:08:58,482
Not bad.
222
00:08:58,517 --> 00:09:00,241
There's a guy in
solitary convinced
223
00:09:00,275 --> 00:09:03,103
Alan Dershowitz appeared
to him as a talking cat.
224
00:09:03,137 --> 00:09:04,286
I told him I'd call the governor
225
00:09:04,310 --> 00:09:06,241
and plead his innocence.
226
00:09:06,275 --> 00:09:08,103
See? I told you it was
nice to help people.
227
00:09:08,137 --> 00:09:09,793
Are you kidding?
I'm not calling.
228
00:09:09,827 --> 00:09:11,586
Calling who? About what?
229
00:09:11,620 --> 00:09:13,034
Are we getting pizza?
230
00:09:13,068 --> 00:09:14,551
No. I was just
going to tell Salem
231
00:09:14,586 --> 00:09:17,137
about the nice
things I did today.
232
00:09:17,172 --> 00:09:18,241
But I'm not interested.
233
00:09:18,275 --> 00:09:19,655
I'm interested.
234
00:09:19,689 --> 00:09:21,448
Tell me.
235
00:09:21,482 --> 00:09:22,689
Oh, but wait.
236
00:09:25,344 --> 00:09:27,310
Okay, start.
237
00:09:27,344 --> 00:09:30,206
I wanted to use magic
more to help my friends
238
00:09:30,241 --> 00:09:31,562
so I made a few
adjustments in their lives...
239
00:09:31,586 --> 00:09:32,724
Hold on.
240
00:09:32,758 --> 00:09:35,206
Didn't Zelda tell you there
are rules against meddling?
241
00:09:35,241 --> 00:09:37,379
And terrriblethings
could happen?
242
00:09:37,413 --> 00:09:38,172
Not again.
243
00:09:38,206 --> 00:09:39,551
Look, everyone's happy.
244
00:09:39,586 --> 00:09:41,172
Everything's working
out great, okay?
245
00:09:41,206 --> 00:09:43,103
There's nothing
terrribleabout it.
246
00:09:47,620 --> 00:09:49,379
This is terrriblepizza.
247
00:09:51,517 --> 00:09:54,620
And a fair catch is called
by the fighting scallions.
248
00:09:54,655 --> 00:09:56,620
Wow. Great view.
249
00:09:56,655 --> 00:09:58,103
This is so cool
250
00:09:58,137 --> 00:09:59,103
hanging out in the
president's section
251
00:09:59,137 --> 00:10:00,413
watching Harvey start.
252
00:10:00,448 --> 00:10:02,379
Oh, look, there's Mr. Pool.
253
00:10:02,413 --> 00:10:04,724
Wow. Who's the blonde?
254
00:10:04,758 --> 00:10:06,620
I think she came
with the Ferrari.
255
00:10:06,655 --> 00:10:09,241
No, wait, she's with
the guy next to him.
256
00:10:09,275 --> 00:10:11,344
The fighting scallions
break from the huddle.
257
00:10:11,379 --> 00:10:13,413
Harvey kinkle is
the lone setback.
258
00:10:13,448 --> 00:10:14,241
There's Harvey.
259
00:10:14,275 --> 00:10:16,310
That's so great
that he's out there.
260
00:10:16,344 --> 00:10:17,758
Yeah, thanks...
261
00:10:17,793 --> 00:10:19,482
Oh, are you sure that's Harvey?
262
00:10:19,517 --> 00:10:20,758
He looks kind of small.
263
00:10:20,793 --> 00:10:22,344
It's first and ten from the 21.
264
00:10:22,379 --> 00:10:24,344
And the scallions
keep it on the ground.
265
00:10:24,379 --> 00:10:25,458
Kroeger hands off to kinkle...
266
00:10:25,482 --> 00:10:26,689
Harvey's got the ball!
267
00:10:26,724 --> 00:10:28,517
And he is pummeled!
268
00:10:28,551 --> 00:10:30,241
Oh, the humanity!
269
00:10:30,275 --> 00:10:33,241
That guy had no
business being out there.
270
00:10:33,275 --> 00:10:35,034
Oh, this is a terrible thing.
271
00:10:35,068 --> 00:10:36,275
[ Siren wailing]
272
00:10:41,344 --> 00:10:42,689
Mmm... ow!
273
00:10:42,724 --> 00:10:43,724
Oh, you poor thing.
274
00:10:43,758 --> 00:10:45,379
It even hurts to chew.
275
00:10:45,413 --> 00:10:48,275
No, it's just hot.
276
00:10:48,310 --> 00:10:48,827
Sabrina: I feel so bad
277
00:10:48,862 --> 00:10:49,724
about Harvey.
278
00:10:49,758 --> 00:10:51,241
I can't believe he
sprained his arm.
279
00:10:51,275 --> 00:10:52,734
I can't believe
that's all he sprained.
280
00:10:52,758 --> 00:10:53,827
Can we change the subject?
281
00:10:53,862 --> 00:10:55,758
Let's talk about
you being president.
282
00:10:55,793 --> 00:10:59,103
All right. I have my big meeting
with principal larue this afternoon.
283
00:10:59,137 --> 00:11:02,068
Hey, Jenny tell larue to do
something about this meatloaf.
284
00:11:02,103 --> 00:11:03,000
Meatloaf?
285
00:11:03,034 --> 00:11:05,413
Hey, man, what about
intellectual freedom?
286
00:11:05,448 --> 00:11:06,793
I'd better go.
287
00:11:06,827 --> 00:11:08,241
I'll see you at the slicery?
288
00:11:08,275 --> 00:11:09,103
Yeah, we'll get pizza.
289
00:11:09,137 --> 00:11:09,827
Great idea.
290
00:11:09,862 --> 00:11:11,517
This meatloaf really gags.
291
00:11:14,068 --> 00:11:15,448
Hey, Mr. Pool, smells good.
292
00:11:15,482 --> 00:11:17,344
Linguini with white truffles.
293
00:11:17,379 --> 00:11:19,482
No more artery-clogging
sloppy Joes for me.
294
00:11:19,517 --> 00:11:21,517
Now that I'm rich, I
have a reason to live.
295
00:11:21,551 --> 00:11:23,172
So are you happy?
296
00:11:23,206 --> 00:11:24,827
I'll say.
297
00:11:24,862 --> 00:11:25,827
Wealth gives me the freedom
298
00:11:25,862 --> 00:11:27,793
to teach science without
anger and resentment.
299
00:11:27,827 --> 00:11:31,103
I can now teach for
the pure joy of teaching.
300
00:11:31,137 --> 00:11:32,827
Ah-ah-ah. Leave the whole block.
301
00:11:32,862 --> 00:11:33,862
Thank you.
302
00:11:37,689 --> 00:11:40,068
Hey, Harvey. Hi, Libby.
303
00:11:40,103 --> 00:11:42,620
So... did you make it to
the game on Saturday?
304
00:11:42,655 --> 00:11:44,206
Yeah, I saw you start...
305
00:11:44,241 --> 00:11:46,827
And finish.
306
00:11:46,862 --> 00:11:48,724
My dad's got it all on video.
307
00:11:48,758 --> 00:11:50,344
He keeps playing
it over and over
308
00:11:50,379 --> 00:11:52,448
saying that I can learn from it.
309
00:11:52,482 --> 00:11:55,172
Let me know if I can
do anything to help.
310
00:11:55,206 --> 00:11:56,758
I'm a cheerleader.
311
00:11:56,793 --> 00:11:58,448
Let me handle this.
312
00:11:58,482 --> 00:12:00,379
Sure.
313
00:12:00,413 --> 00:12:02,655
I just wanted to let
you know I'm sorry
314
00:12:02,689 --> 00:12:03,734
not like a responsible-sorry.
315
00:12:03,758 --> 00:12:04,551
More like
316
00:12:04,586 --> 00:12:05,827
a sympathetic sorry
317
00:12:05,862 --> 00:12:08,413
in a blameless,
third-party sort of way.
318
00:12:08,448 --> 00:12:10,448
Feel better.
319
00:12:10,482 --> 00:12:12,482
The principal will see you now.
320
00:12:15,758 --> 00:12:17,206
Please, sit down.
321
00:12:17,241 --> 00:12:19,137
The reason I called this meeting
322
00:12:19,172 --> 00:12:21,068
was to present my
five-point program
323
00:12:21,103 --> 00:12:22,448
my contract with westbridge,
324
00:12:22,482 --> 00:12:23,310
if I may.
325
00:12:23,344 --> 00:12:24,413
Proceed.
326
00:12:24,448 --> 00:12:26,379
The first point
focuses on class size.
327
00:12:26,413 --> 00:12:28,137
You have no authority there.
328
00:12:28,172 --> 00:12:28,655
I don't?
329
00:12:28,689 --> 00:12:30,103
No. Next point.
330
00:12:30,137 --> 00:12:32,241
I'm also concerned
about arts funding...
331
00:12:32,275 --> 00:12:33,517
You have no authority there.
332
00:12:33,551 --> 00:12:34,413
Textbooks?
333
00:12:34,448 --> 00:12:35,068
No.
334
00:12:35,103 --> 00:12:35,827
Curriculum?
335
00:12:35,862 --> 00:12:37,206
No. Parking.
336
00:12:37,241 --> 00:12:37,655
I don't even have
337
00:12:37,689 --> 00:12:39,275
authority there.
338
00:12:39,310 --> 00:12:40,724
These topics that you raise
339
00:12:40,758 --> 00:12:42,310
are not to be
addressed in this room.
340
00:12:42,344 --> 00:12:44,724
They are decided by powerful men
341
00:12:44,758 --> 00:12:47,344
in smoke-filled boardrooms
hundreds of miles from here.
342
00:12:47,379 --> 00:12:51,172
It is not yourplace to
question their choices.
343
00:12:51,206 --> 00:12:53,724
They know you, Jennifer.
344
00:12:53,758 --> 00:12:55,793
Better than you know yourself.
345
00:12:55,827 --> 00:12:57,655
Let's leave the
business of school
346
00:12:57,689 --> 00:13:01,137
to the people whose
business isschool.
347
00:13:01,172 --> 00:13:02,344
Student class elections
348
00:13:02,379 --> 00:13:05,586
have always been
a popularity contest.
349
00:13:05,620 --> 00:13:07,103
Let's keep it that way.
350
00:13:09,586 --> 00:13:11,137
[ Whirring]
351
00:13:14,103 --> 00:13:16,103
Hey, how did it go?
352
00:13:16,137 --> 00:13:18,655
I'm on my second
pitcher of root beer.
353
00:13:18,689 --> 00:13:20,275
Why? What's wrong?
354
00:13:20,310 --> 00:13:22,344
I wish I'd never
become president.
355
00:13:22,379 --> 00:13:23,769
You said that's what
you wanted though.
356
00:13:23,793 --> 00:13:25,586
I was so young, so naive.
357
00:13:25,620 --> 00:13:26,803
I thought I could
make a difference.
358
00:13:26,827 --> 00:13:27,793
But you can.
359
00:13:27,827 --> 00:13:28,862
No.
360
00:13:28,896 --> 00:13:32,413
You keep your illusions,
but it's too late for me.
361
00:13:32,448 --> 00:13:35,241
I've seen how the
meatloaf is made.
362
00:13:35,275 --> 00:13:36,586
Oh, Jenny, I'm sorry.
363
00:13:36,620 --> 00:13:38,034
It's a terrible thing.
364
00:13:41,413 --> 00:13:42,551
Hey.
365
00:13:42,586 --> 00:13:43,379
We need to talk.
366
00:13:43,413 --> 00:13:44,853
Not now. I've had
a really lousy day.
367
00:13:49,137 --> 00:13:51,034
And apparently,
it's not over yet.
368
00:13:51,068 --> 00:13:52,620
This came in the
toaster for you.
369
00:13:52,655 --> 00:13:54,448
It's from drell.
370
00:13:54,482 --> 00:13:55,700
The head of the
witches' council?
371
00:13:55,724 --> 00:13:56,482
What does he want with me?
372
00:13:56,517 --> 00:13:58,034
We don't know. I
wanted to open it.
373
00:13:58,068 --> 00:13:59,793
Zelda wouldn't let me.
374
00:13:59,827 --> 00:14:02,034
Drell: Report to my
office immediately
375
00:14:02,068 --> 00:14:04,103
and bring your aunts with you.
376
00:14:07,724 --> 00:14:08,551
I don't want to go.
377
00:14:08,586 --> 00:14:09,517
Drell scares me.
378
00:14:09,551 --> 00:14:10,665
You guys go first and
tell me what he wants.
379
00:14:10,689 --> 00:14:12,793
Hey, I don't want to see
drell any more than you do.
380
00:14:12,827 --> 00:14:14,068
Yeah, sure.
381
00:14:14,103 --> 00:14:15,793
Look, we used to be in love
382
00:14:15,827 --> 00:14:18,689
but I no longer have
any feelings for him.
383
00:14:18,724 --> 00:14:20,620
How's my hair?
384
00:14:20,655 --> 00:14:22,172
Come on, let's go.
385
00:14:24,448 --> 00:14:25,586
Hilda: Ow, my foot.
386
00:14:32,448 --> 00:14:33,310
I don't like this place.
387
00:14:33,344 --> 00:14:36,103
It reminds me of
the principal's office.
388
00:14:36,137 --> 00:14:37,586
Drell will see you now.
389
00:14:42,655 --> 00:14:45,551
You look so familiar.
390
00:14:45,586 --> 00:14:46,482
Hello, drell.
391
00:14:46,517 --> 00:14:47,724
What a pleasant surprise.
392
00:14:47,758 --> 00:14:48,724
No, it's not.
393
00:14:48,758 --> 00:14:50,827
I summoned you and you're here.
394
00:14:50,862 --> 00:14:54,206
Hilda... what's with your hair?
395
00:14:54,241 --> 00:14:56,586
My new boyfriend
likes it this way.
396
00:14:56,620 --> 00:14:57,620
Oh, your new boyfriend.
397
00:14:57,655 --> 00:14:58,724
What's his name?
398
00:14:58,758 --> 00:14:59,103
Um...
399
00:14:59,137 --> 00:14:59,827
Well, I hope
400
00:14:59,862 --> 00:15:03,172
you and... "Um" are very happy.
401
00:15:03,206 --> 00:15:04,068
Sabrina, why don't we begin
402
00:15:04,103 --> 00:15:06,586
by you explaining
to us why we're here.
403
00:15:06,620 --> 00:15:07,827
I don't know.
404
00:15:07,862 --> 00:15:09,482
Stop me if something
sounds familiar...
405
00:15:09,517 --> 00:15:10,448
"athletic injury
406
00:15:10,482 --> 00:15:11,655
"fixed election
407
00:15:11,689 --> 00:15:13,482
altered immutable laws
408
00:15:13,517 --> 00:15:14,482
of physics."
409
00:15:14,517 --> 00:15:16,068
Oh, that.
410
00:15:16,103 --> 00:15:17,344
You didn't! Sabrina!
411
00:15:17,379 --> 00:15:18,586
I was trying to help.
412
00:15:18,620 --> 00:15:20,275
"Help" is a four-letter word
413
00:15:20,310 --> 00:15:22,448
like "dumb" and "move."
414
00:15:22,482 --> 00:15:23,310
Am I right?
415
00:15:23,344 --> 00:15:25,068
First, the people I
helped were happy
416
00:15:25,103 --> 00:15:26,620
but now only one is
417
00:15:26,655 --> 00:15:28,379
and he's happy
enough for all three.
418
00:15:28,413 --> 00:15:30,275
Now, I should explain to you
419
00:15:30,310 --> 00:15:32,448
that when I say, "am I right?"
420
00:15:32,482 --> 00:15:35,551
It's a rhetorical
question because
421
00:15:35,586 --> 00:15:37,551
I'm always right.
422
00:15:37,586 --> 00:15:39,241
Drell, please...
423
00:15:39,275 --> 00:15:40,758
Sabrina's a good kid.
424
00:15:40,793 --> 00:15:42,172
And things are hard on her.
425
00:15:42,206 --> 00:15:43,586
Her mother's in Peru.
426
00:15:43,620 --> 00:15:44,689
Her father's in a book.
427
00:15:44,724 --> 00:15:46,827
And I'm in the land
of "I don't care."
428
00:15:46,862 --> 00:15:48,241
You're her guardians.
429
00:15:48,275 --> 00:15:50,068
You should have warned her
430
00:15:50,103 --> 00:15:52,482
that if you meddle
with people's lives
431
00:15:52,517 --> 00:15:54,724
terrible things could happen.
432
00:15:54,758 --> 00:15:56,620
Well, I did. That's
exactly what I said.
433
00:15:56,655 --> 00:15:57,931
So did I.
434
00:15:57,965 --> 00:16:00,413
So did Salem, but nobody made
it sound like it was a big deal.
435
00:16:00,448 --> 00:16:02,000
Aw, geez.
436
00:16:03,482 --> 00:16:06,310
Marge, get the guys
down in ominous warnings
437
00:16:06,344 --> 00:16:10,689
to tweak up the reverb
on the word "terrible."
438
00:16:10,724 --> 00:16:13,793
Terrible.
439
00:16:15,448 --> 00:16:17,517
Terrible!
440
00:16:17,551 --> 00:16:19,344
Ooh, that's nice, that's nice.
441
00:16:19,379 --> 00:16:21,068
Thank you, Marge.
442
00:16:21,103 --> 00:16:23,758
Now thatwas Marge's mistake.
443
00:16:25,620 --> 00:16:28,206
And now back to yours.
444
00:16:28,241 --> 00:16:30,068
The football injury
and class elections
445
00:16:30,103 --> 00:16:31,724
have no global consequences.
446
00:16:31,758 --> 00:16:35,310
You can mess with your pimply,
pubescent peers all you want.
447
00:16:35,344 --> 00:16:36,586
Alchemy, however
448
00:16:36,620 --> 00:16:38,620
could collapse the world economy
449
00:16:38,655 --> 00:16:42,034
and wreak havoc on myt-bills!
450
00:16:42,068 --> 00:16:43,379
Are you going to fix this
451
00:16:43,413 --> 00:16:48,137
or should I give Salem
a little blonde kitty friend?
452
00:16:48,172 --> 00:16:49,448
No, I can fix it.
453
00:16:49,482 --> 00:16:51,103
I just have to erase
the knowledge.
454
00:16:51,137 --> 00:16:52,417
I don't have to
destroy Mr. Pool.
455
00:16:52,448 --> 00:16:53,413
You got a day.
456
00:16:53,448 --> 00:16:54,517
That's 23 hours
457
00:16:54,551 --> 00:16:55,448
to solve the problem
458
00:16:55,482 --> 00:16:58,827
and one hour to shop
for a scratching post.
459
00:16:58,862 --> 00:16:59,655
[ Laughs]
460
00:16:59,689 --> 00:17:00,551
You're done. Go.
461
00:17:00,586 --> 00:17:01,689
Get out of here.
462
00:17:01,724 --> 00:17:05,413
Um, except you, hilda.
463
00:17:05,448 --> 00:17:06,344
Why don't you, uh...
464
00:17:06,379 --> 00:17:07,379
Stay a moment.
465
00:17:10,068 --> 00:17:11,241
That's it.
466
00:17:11,275 --> 00:17:13,344
I am never going to
help anyone ever again.
467
00:17:13,379 --> 00:17:15,275
He's just trying
to scare me, right?
468
00:17:15,310 --> 00:17:16,172
Oh, look.
469
00:17:16,206 --> 00:17:17,379
Marge's teeth.
470
00:17:17,413 --> 00:17:19,034
I've got to go find Mr. Pool.
471
00:17:19,068 --> 00:17:20,379
Let's go.
472
00:17:20,413 --> 00:17:21,586
What was that all about?
473
00:17:21,620 --> 00:17:23,620
Oh, he asked me out.
474
00:17:23,655 --> 00:17:25,448
I turned him down.
475
00:17:25,482 --> 00:17:27,827
Sabrina, now you
only have 16 hours.
476
00:17:27,862 --> 00:17:29,137
Sorry.
477
00:17:30,482 --> 00:17:32,413
Excuse me, is Mr. Pool in there?
478
00:17:32,448 --> 00:17:33,206
You mean the guy who thinks
479
00:17:33,241 --> 00:17:34,758
he's too good to
wash my car now?
480
00:17:34,793 --> 00:17:36,793
No, I haven't seen him.
481
00:17:36,827 --> 00:17:39,206
[ Whistling] Mr. Pool,
there you are.
482
00:17:39,241 --> 00:17:40,620
I am so happy to see you.
483
00:17:40,655 --> 00:17:41,344
I'm happy to see you, too
484
00:17:41,379 --> 00:17:43,068
my little coupon picker-upper.
485
00:17:43,103 --> 00:17:44,172
Come on, walk me to class.
486
00:17:44,206 --> 00:17:46,310
Hey, look what I just got.
487
00:17:46,344 --> 00:17:48,034
It's a digital
personal assistant.
488
00:17:48,068 --> 00:17:50,068
Watch this.
489
00:17:50,103 --> 00:17:51,379
I just sent myself a fax.
490
00:17:51,413 --> 00:17:53,310
I know you're really
happy with your money
491
00:17:53,344 --> 00:17:55,310
but, easy come, easy go.
492
00:17:55,344 --> 00:17:57,344
Oh! Did I tell you?
I'm funding a Grant.
493
00:17:57,379 --> 00:18:00,482
It's called "the Eugene pool
award for burnt-out teachers."
494
00:18:00,517 --> 00:18:02,758
The healing begins now.
495
00:18:02,793 --> 00:18:04,413
That's a beautiful dream.
496
00:18:04,448 --> 00:18:05,689
Oh, man! I just wish
497
00:18:05,724 --> 00:18:07,724
everybody could
be as happy as I am.
498
00:18:07,758 --> 00:18:08,620
Mr. Pool?
499
00:18:08,655 --> 00:18:10,655
Hmm?
500
00:18:10,689 --> 00:18:12,655
Just enjoy the next 40 minutes.
501
00:18:12,689 --> 00:18:14,137
Of course, it's
time for science.
502
00:18:16,586 --> 00:18:17,769
Aerobic respiration is correct.
503
00:18:17,793 --> 00:18:19,068
Well done, Timmy.
504
00:18:19,103 --> 00:18:21,689
Here you go
505
00:18:21,724 --> 00:18:23,137
and remember, everyone
506
00:18:23,172 --> 00:18:24,769
you should learn for
the sake of learning
507
00:18:24,793 --> 00:18:26,241
and not just for gold.
508
00:18:26,275 --> 00:18:27,793
Well, that's my
last lump for now.
509
00:18:27,827 --> 00:18:30,103
I'll make more up tonight.
510
00:18:30,137 --> 00:18:33,000
Pool, you've got
it wired up here.
511
00:18:35,448 --> 00:18:37,655
No... no!
512
00:18:37,689 --> 00:18:38,827
It's gone!
513
00:18:38,862 --> 00:18:40,172
I lost it!
514
00:18:40,206 --> 00:18:42,137
I never wrote it down!
515
00:18:42,172 --> 00:18:44,586
Oh, this is a terrible thing!
516
00:18:44,620 --> 00:18:46,517
[ Sobbing]
517
00:18:46,551 --> 00:18:49,034
Hi, Sabrina.
518
00:18:49,068 --> 00:18:50,103
You look bummed.
519
00:18:50,137 --> 00:18:51,241
Like everyone else.
520
00:18:51,275 --> 00:18:52,620
I'm not. I made my peace
521
00:18:52,655 --> 00:18:54,310
with the universal meatloaf.
522
00:18:54,344 --> 00:18:54,689
Really?
523
00:18:54,724 --> 00:18:56,172
Yeah. Watch.
524
00:18:56,206 --> 00:18:59,068
Can I have your attention?
525
00:18:59,103 --> 00:19:00,803
I just wanted to say
that I ran for president
526
00:19:00,827 --> 00:19:02,310
because I thought the job
527
00:19:02,344 --> 00:19:05,206
was about more than
dances and lunch food.
528
00:19:05,241 --> 00:19:06,379
I was wrong
529
00:19:06,413 --> 00:19:08,793
so I think you'll be
better off with Libby.
530
00:19:08,827 --> 00:19:12,241
[ Applause]
531
00:19:12,275 --> 00:19:13,793
I'm in control?
532
00:19:13,827 --> 00:19:15,517
Yes!
533
00:19:15,551 --> 00:19:21,034
And I am one step
closer to the white house.
534
00:19:21,068 --> 00:19:21,827
Nice speech.
535
00:19:21,862 --> 00:19:23,448
So you're happy?
536
00:19:23,482 --> 00:19:24,206
Very.
537
00:19:24,241 --> 00:19:25,517
I'd rather be jaded than naive.
538
00:19:25,551 --> 00:19:26,724
Who wouldn't?
539
00:19:26,758 --> 00:19:28,586
Hey, Sabrina, you know how
540
00:19:28,620 --> 00:19:30,551
you were feeling
sorry for me yesterday?
541
00:19:30,586 --> 00:19:33,379
You mean in that blameless,
third-party sort of way?
542
00:19:33,413 --> 00:19:35,137
You should know that
since I've been injured
543
00:19:35,172 --> 00:19:37,068
I've been having a lot of fun.
544
00:19:37,103 --> 00:19:39,034
I'm reading more,
I'm writing more.
545
00:19:39,068 --> 00:19:39,758
I even think
546
00:19:39,793 --> 00:19:41,482
my grades are going to improve.
547
00:19:41,517 --> 00:19:43,631
Wow, so the sitting around
thing is really working for you?
548
00:19:43,655 --> 00:19:46,586
Yeah. I'm super-happy
not playing football.
549
00:19:46,620 --> 00:19:48,379
Just don't tell my dad.
550
00:19:48,413 --> 00:19:49,551
Okay.
551
00:19:49,586 --> 00:19:51,689
"A" equals "a."
552
00:19:51,724 --> 00:19:53,379
Of course "a" equals
"a." It's obvious.
553
00:19:53,413 --> 00:19:55,482
It doesn't need to be stated.
554
00:19:55,517 --> 00:19:56,413
Mr. Pool?
555
00:19:56,448 --> 00:19:57,206
What?!
556
00:19:57,241 --> 00:19:58,344
Oh, it's you.
557
00:19:58,379 --> 00:19:59,275
Do you have a minute?
558
00:19:59,310 --> 00:20:00,137
Yes...
559
00:20:00,172 --> 00:20:01,000
A lifetime of them
560
00:20:01,034 --> 00:20:03,793
and now, they're
going by very slowly.
561
00:20:03,827 --> 00:20:04,793
I was just thinking
562
00:20:04,827 --> 00:20:07,275
that Jenny's happier
not being class president
563
00:20:07,310 --> 00:20:09,217
and Harvey's happier not
starting on the football team
564
00:20:09,241 --> 00:20:11,068
and, well, it made
me think that maybe
565
00:20:11,103 --> 00:20:13,034
you'll be happier
not being rich.
566
00:20:13,068 --> 00:20:15,034
Hmm... happier not being rich.
567
00:20:16,379 --> 00:20:17,689
Are you nuts?!
568
00:20:17,724 --> 00:20:19,793
Being rich is everything
I ever dreamed of
569
00:20:19,827 --> 00:20:23,344
and now it's
gone, it's all gone.
570
00:20:23,379 --> 00:20:24,172
[ Sighing]
571
00:20:24,206 --> 00:20:26,103
Not again.
572
00:20:26,137 --> 00:20:27,689
Sabrina, could you help me?
573
00:20:27,724 --> 00:20:30,068
Sorry, Mr. Pool.
574
00:20:30,103 --> 00:20:32,103
I'm not supposed to help anyone
575
00:20:32,137 --> 00:20:33,172
but...
576
00:20:33,206 --> 00:20:36,310
I guess one last
time won't hurt.
577
00:20:36,344 --> 00:20:39,689
Oh, why couldn't
somebody just destroy me?
578
00:20:39,724 --> 00:20:42,448
It can't be that bad,
and I have a feeling
579
00:20:42,482 --> 00:20:44,275
things will get better real soon
580
00:20:44,310 --> 00:20:46,206
and who knows? Maybe you'll find
581
00:20:46,241 --> 00:20:47,482
a new briefcase.
582
00:20:47,517 --> 00:20:48,517
Yeah, right.
583
00:21:07,137 --> 00:21:08,275
[ Whistling]
584
00:21:11,241 --> 00:21:13,068
Steve! Uh, sir?
585
00:21:13,103 --> 00:21:13,758
What is it, pool?
586
00:21:13,793 --> 00:21:16,482
I was wondering if I came by
587
00:21:16,517 --> 00:21:18,793
on Saturday, maybe I could...
588
00:21:18,827 --> 00:21:20,827
Wash your car?
589
00:21:20,862 --> 00:21:24,827
So... Mr. Rockefeller
wants to wash my car.
590
00:21:24,862 --> 00:21:25,941
You know, the only problem is
591
00:21:25,965 --> 00:21:28,068
I found a 15-year-old to
do it two bucks cheaper.
592
00:21:28,103 --> 00:21:29,137
I can beat that!
593
00:21:29,172 --> 00:21:30,803
I'm having a "back in
the same old rut" special.
594
00:21:30,827 --> 00:21:32,620
[ Clears throat]
595
00:21:32,655 --> 00:21:33,931
I guess I'll see you Saturday.
596
00:21:33,965 --> 00:21:39,034
Uh great... and uh, by the
way that's a beautiful briefcase!
40201
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