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1
00:00:21,478 --> 00:00:24,180
Oh... good morning.
2
00:00:24,247 --> 00:00:26,682
[Dog barking]
3
00:00:26,750 --> 00:00:28,751
[Glass shatters]
4
00:00:38,962 --> 00:00:41,530
[Door creaks]
5
00:00:53,677 --> 00:00:55,544
[[Exhales sharply]
6
00:01:05,121 --> 00:01:06,222
Oh...
7
00:01:06,289 --> 00:01:09,692
Oh, my brain is [Bleep].
8
00:01:09,759 --> 00:01:11,126
Look at this dude.
9
00:01:11,194 --> 00:01:15,264
Oh, Blake, how long have
you been up, man?
10
00:01:15,332 --> 00:01:19,468
- Blake!
- Blake!
11
00:01:19,536 --> 00:01:22,438
I'm up. I'm up.
12
00:01:22,505 --> 00:01:26,141
I'm up.
13
00:01:26,209 --> 00:01:27,170
Good morning.
14
00:01:27,336 --> 00:01:30,674
Sync and correction by Mlmlte
www.addic7ed.com
15
00:01:30,840 --> 00:01:32,175
I'm fresh
16
00:01:32,341 --> 00:01:33,844
17
00:01:34,010 --> 00:01:36,118
you gotta, you gotta,
you gotta, gotta
18
00:01:36,186 --> 00:01:39,182
you gotta be fresh
19
00:01:39,348 --> 00:01:40,623
Ugh...
20
00:01:40,690 --> 00:01:43,353
Our house smells like sweaty taint.
21
00:01:43,519 --> 00:01:44,855
It smells exactly like sweaty taint.
22
00:01:45,021 --> 00:01:46,982
That might be
your upper lip, man.
23
00:01:47,148 --> 00:01:49,317
Good one. Burn!
You're burnin' me.
24
00:01:49,483 --> 00:01:52,301
- Uh-uh.
- Seriously. Like, do you not remember
25
00:01:52,369 --> 00:01:54,236
smearing the poo moustache
26
00:01:54,304 --> 00:01:55,657
and calling yourself Adolf Shitler?
27
00:01:55,823 --> 00:01:57,075
I remember that.
That was...
28
00:01:57,241 --> 00:01:59,909
That was weirdly early
in the night, actually.
29
00:01:59,976 --> 00:02:01,204
That was...That was fun.
30
00:02:01,370 --> 00:02:03,379
I mean, what time
did everything even end?
31
00:02:03,446 --> 00:02:05,459
Who said it ended?
32
00:02:07,250 --> 00:02:08,545
Hey, what's up, fellas?
33
00:02:08,711 --> 00:02:12,321
Now, I know your bellies ready
for some of this eggs Tyrone.
34
00:02:12,389 --> 00:02:15,157
It's off the chain, baby!
35
00:02:15,225 --> 00:02:17,893
You ready to fill them stomachs up
36
00:02:17,961 --> 00:02:21,016
with some hot cheese and eggs?
37
00:02:21,182 --> 00:02:22,142
What up?
38
00:02:22,308 --> 00:02:23,565
Oh, man,
this is cold-blooded.
39
00:02:23,633 --> 00:02:24,767
Y'all changed overnight.
40
00:02:24,834 --> 00:02:26,188
That's what we do.
We change. Okay.
41
00:02:26,354 --> 00:02:30,205
Oh, hello.
Don't slam it, dude.
42
00:02:33,903 --> 00:02:37,115
- I wanna die.
- No, you don't.
43
00:02:37,281 --> 00:02:38,533
That's just the hangover talking.
44
00:02:38,699 --> 00:02:40,827
We should just drink more.
It'll make us feel better.
45
00:02:40,993 --> 00:02:44,164
No, I'm not 16.
I can't drink like that anymore.
46
00:02:44,330 --> 00:02:46,208
Oh, come on,
Blakeypoo.
47
00:02:46,374 --> 00:02:48,123
Have a beer for mama.
Have a...
48
00:02:48,191 --> 00:02:50,086
No, get that away.
I'll puke if I smell it.
49
00:02:50,252 --> 00:02:52,297
Guys, I have a headache,
so quiet.
50
00:02:52,463 --> 00:02:56,468
Whoa-ho-ho!
Blon-ders in the building!
51
00:02:56,634 --> 00:02:58,200
Oh...
[Laughs]
52
00:02:58,268 --> 00:02:59,137
What-ders?
53
00:02:59,303 --> 00:03:02,599
Take a peeksey.
54
00:03:02,765 --> 00:03:05,307
Oh, my--aah!
55
00:03:05,375 --> 00:03:06,645
Oh, my God, is that real?
56
00:03:06,811 --> 00:03:08,043
- Did you do this to me?
- No.
57
00:03:08,111 --> 00:03:09,945
Oh, now I remember.
Remember last night,
58
00:03:10,013 --> 00:03:12,651
he kept talking about
Jared leto from fight club?
59
00:03:12,817 --> 00:03:14,277
Oh, yeah!
60
00:03:14,443 --> 00:03:15,654
And here we are.
[Laughter]
61
00:03:15,820 --> 00:03:17,720
My God, I was. Okay...
All right, all right, that's it.
62
00:03:17,787 --> 00:03:20,489
That's it. I put my career
in jeopardy for the last time.
63
00:03:20,557 --> 00:03:22,077
We've got to stop drinking.
64
00:03:22,243 --> 00:03:23,726
- What?
- Yeah.
65
00:03:23,793 --> 00:03:25,163
You know what, you're right.
66
00:03:25,329 --> 00:03:27,165
Let's do it.
Let's...Let's do it.
67
00:03:27,331 --> 00:03:30,126
Let's make sure we don't have
one of those weird problems.
68
00:03:30,292 --> 00:03:32,045
- Yeah.
- Quit drinking?
69
00:03:32,211 --> 00:03:36,842
Wha...I...I...I don't...
I can't even...I'm...
70
00:03:37,008 --> 00:03:38,774
I'm sorry. If you
probably couldn't handle it,
71
00:03:38,842 --> 00:03:40,220
then we'll do it... that's fine.
72
00:03:40,386 --> 00:03:42,611
No, I could han...
I can quit.
73
00:03:42,679 --> 00:03:44,266
I'm not drinking right now.
74
00:03:44,432 --> 00:03:46,977
Fully in control
of my addiction, so...
75
00:03:47,143 --> 00:03:50,146
Cool. How long are we
thinking? Maybe, like...
76
00:03:50,312 --> 00:03:51,481
- A month?
- Like two days.
77
00:03:51,647 --> 00:03:52,983
Two days?
78
00:03:53,149 --> 00:03:55,986
If I wasn't so drunk
right now, I'd smack you.
79
00:03:56,152 --> 00:03:58,697
- A week.
- A week.
80
00:03:58,863 --> 00:04:00,996
Totally sober for a week.
What do you guys say?
81
00:04:01,064 --> 00:04:02,664
This is me saying yes.
82
00:04:02,732 --> 00:04:04,160
- All right. Deal?
- Deal.
83
00:04:04,326 --> 00:04:05,912
- Yeah.
- Okay.
84
00:04:06,078 --> 00:04:08,137
Let's do it, then.
Let's make a pinky promise,
85
00:04:08,204 --> 00:04:09,165
make this official.
86
00:04:09,331 --> 00:04:11,334
- All right.
- Do we have to?
87
00:04:11,500 --> 00:04:13,075
Come on now,
get in here, you two.
88
00:04:13,143 --> 00:04:14,212
Get up in the mix.
89
00:04:14,378 --> 00:04:15,611
I actually like it.
90
00:04:15,678 --> 00:04:19,259
All: Mmmmmmwah!
91
00:04:19,425 --> 00:04:20,682
I don't think this is
gonna be that hard. Right?
92
00:04:20,750 --> 00:04:22,951
We just do what we do...
Whenever we do what we do,
93
00:04:23,019 --> 00:04:24,180
but without drinking.
94
00:04:24,346 --> 00:04:26,558
She's my cherry pie
95
00:04:26,724 --> 00:04:29,728
Think about it,
that's someone's child.
96
00:04:29,894 --> 00:04:31,938
A father's daughter.
97
00:04:32,104 --> 00:04:33,595
Judging from
the c-section scar
98
00:04:33,663 --> 00:04:34,900
I'd say she's a mother herself.
99
00:04:35,066 --> 00:04:36,985
Sweetie, have you had lunch today?
100
00:04:37,151 --> 00:04:40,402
$9 for a ginger ale?
101
00:04:42,490 --> 00:04:45,493
[Jackhammer pounding]
102
00:04:45,659 --> 00:04:48,043
Haven't they heard
of night construction?
103
00:04:48,111 --> 00:04:51,833
Like, they're being
so rude out there.
104
00:04:51,999 --> 00:04:53,549
No, sir, I'm not
a country music fan either.
105
00:04:53,616 --> 00:04:56,296
Just personally...
[Making flatulence noises]
106
00:04:56,462 --> 00:04:58,006
This is reba,
and these are her hits.
107
00:04:58,172 --> 00:05:00,789
- [Making flatulence noises]
- Hello?
108
00:05:00,857 --> 00:05:02,624
Can you stop?
I just lost a sale.
109
00:05:02,692 --> 00:05:03,553
What are you even doing?
110
00:05:03,719 --> 00:05:04,860
I'm making an app
111
00:05:04,928 --> 00:05:07,098
that translates farts into English.
112
00:05:07,264 --> 00:05:09,498
That's great.
So what's your business model?
113
00:05:09,566 --> 00:05:10,899
Are you gonna program it?
114
00:05:10,967 --> 00:05:12,646
Do you even have a target demo
that you're thinking of?
115
00:05:12,812 --> 00:05:15,771
Well, I don't think
that fartsi needs one of those
116
00:05:15,839 --> 00:05:19,775
once the blog buzzes gets to it.
117
00:05:19,843 --> 00:05:21,110
[Flatulence noises]
118
00:05:21,177 --> 00:05:23,323
Canoe, or small boat.
119
00:05:23,489 --> 00:05:24,680
I'm friends with
a nine-year-old boy.
120
00:05:24,747 --> 00:05:25,825
This is great.
121
00:05:25,991 --> 00:05:27,850
And I'm, like, great friends,
apparently,
122
00:05:27,917 --> 00:05:30,830
with Ric flair,
so that's cool too--whoo!
123
00:05:30,996 --> 00:05:32,855
Guys, I know that
we're all struggling
124
00:05:32,922 --> 00:05:34,056
with our sobriety right now.
125
00:05:34,124 --> 00:05:35,543
I really feel we should
go cold Turkey.
126
00:05:35,709 --> 00:05:38,380
I don't think that's what
they mean by that.
127
00:05:38,546 --> 00:05:40,062
- No.
- No, what do you mean?
128
00:05:40,130 --> 00:05:41,830
That's exactly what it means.
Dr. drew said
129
00:05:41,898 --> 00:05:44,133
the best way to quit drinking
is by going cold Turkey.
130
00:05:44,200 --> 00:05:47,764
And he's a doctor, so why
would you question...Doctors?
131
00:05:47,930 --> 00:05:50,183
- So true.
- What's up with your headset?
132
00:05:50,349 --> 00:05:54,476
What's up, uh,
with your old face, Anders?
133
00:05:54,544 --> 00:05:56,311
- No...
- Or should I say Blonders?
134
00:05:56,379 --> 00:05:58,046
That's funny. Why don't you
go back in your area?
135
00:05:58,114 --> 00:05:59,848
I just saw you lick
your microphone.
136
00:05:59,916 --> 00:06:00,983
- No, you didn't.
- What is that?
137
00:06:01,050 --> 00:06:02,417
- This is my office space!
- Is that--
138
00:06:02,485 --> 00:06:04,620
- you're intruding
my office space right now.
139
00:06:04,687 --> 00:06:06,032
- Oh, my God, that's booze!
- Get out of here!
140
00:06:06,198 --> 00:06:07,723
- No, that's booze.
- Stop it!
141
00:06:07,790 --> 00:06:09,391
Oh, looky here.
142
00:06:09,459 --> 00:06:12,706
Mr. cold Turkey put a mini
booze bottle in his headset?
143
00:06:12,872 --> 00:06:15,041
I really like your ingenuity,
144
00:06:15,207 --> 00:06:17,752
- but... destroy "ze" prototype.
- Gladly.
145
00:06:17,918 --> 00:06:19,468
No, that's my...
You know how many minutes
146
00:06:19,536 --> 00:06:20,802
of tinkering that took me?
147
00:06:20,870 --> 00:06:22,632
It took me, like,
seven minutes to make.
148
00:06:22,798 --> 00:06:24,039
We took an oath, all right?
149
00:06:24,107 --> 00:06:25,510
Yeah.
You're not special.
150
00:06:25,676 --> 00:06:26,942
I am special.
That's why I took
151
00:06:27,010 --> 00:06:28,471
all those "special" classes
in high school.
152
00:06:28,637 --> 00:06:30,557
Why do you think you can
boss me around, huh...
153
00:06:30,723 --> 00:06:32,434
Slim shady?
154
00:06:32,600 --> 00:06:34,983
- Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
- I'm a big boy, slim shady.
155
00:06:35,051 --> 00:06:36,151
- I'm not slim shady.
- That's a trigger word.
156
00:06:36,219 --> 00:06:37,486
That's a trigger.
157
00:06:37,554 --> 00:06:38,481
I'm Marshall mathers
or something even cooler.
158
00:06:38,647 --> 00:06:40,222
You know what,
I don't give a shoot.
159
00:06:40,290 --> 00:06:42,925
I'm gonna go back to work,
eat my cold Turkey,
160
00:06:42,992 --> 00:06:48,408
and beat this addiction
like the boss that I am.
161
00:06:48,574 --> 00:06:51,567
Psych!
Oh...What?
162
00:06:51,634 --> 00:06:52,620
There's a boss move!
163
00:06:52,786 --> 00:06:54,236
- That's it!
- Hey, hey!
164
00:06:54,304 --> 00:06:55,498
- I'm the boss!
- Okay, look...
165
00:06:55,664 --> 00:06:58,006
All right, I now this is
really tough for us...
166
00:06:58,074 --> 00:06:59,708
Like, bizarrely tough for us...
167
00:06:59,776 --> 00:07:01,910
But I now something
that can cool us out.
168
00:07:01,978 --> 00:07:04,846
Check it out, I got some
dank William juniors.
169
00:07:04,914 --> 00:07:07,761
Got it from Karl. Two nugs
for my two best buds. Let's...
170
00:07:07,927 --> 00:07:08,887
Sober means sober, okay?
171
00:07:09,053 --> 00:07:11,514
No weed, no booze, no nothing.
172
00:07:11,680 --> 00:07:13,099
If I can't drink,
you can't smoke weed.
173
00:07:13,265 --> 00:07:14,523
- Right.
- What?
174
00:07:14,591 --> 00:07:15,791
Unless we want to smoke weed.
175
00:07:15,858 --> 00:07:17,312
We should smoke weed, I feel.
176
00:07:17,478 --> 00:07:18,605
- No!
- Let's smoke some weed.
177
00:07:18,771 --> 00:07:22,030
I'm so sorry,
but we're not doing this!
178
00:07:22,098 --> 00:07:23,565
We took an oath!
Just go back to work.
179
00:07:23,633 --> 00:07:24,733
You destroy something of mine,
180
00:07:24,801 --> 00:07:26,702
I destroy something of yours.
181
00:07:26,769 --> 00:07:29,471
Oh-ho! Guess what,
I also destroy your stuff.
182
00:07:29,539 --> 00:07:31,640
- Yep. That's right.
- I'm gonna destroy...
183
00:07:31,708 --> 00:07:33,342
- Oh, that's my stuff.
- I'm gonna take this,
184
00:07:33,409 --> 00:07:34,543
and I'm gonna just...
185
00:07:34,611 --> 00:07:38,917
Get rid of your stuff,
you stupid dummy!
186
00:07:42,852 --> 00:07:44,047
Hi.
187
00:07:45,965 --> 00:07:48,802
Before you can say anything,
you should know
188
00:07:48,968 --> 00:07:51,093
that we're ithe process
of going sober right now,
189
00:07:51,160 --> 00:07:53,014
so that's why we're, ahhhh...
190
00:07:53,180 --> 00:07:56,164
I didn't realize that.
191
00:07:56,232 --> 00:07:57,811
How long has it been
since your last drink?
192
00:07:57,977 --> 00:08:01,689
Um, it's going on,
like, 20 hours.
193
00:08:01,855 --> 00:08:02,982
- Nice job.
- Well, I can, um...
194
00:08:03,148 --> 00:08:05,741
I can understand
what you guys are going through.
195
00:08:05,808 --> 00:08:09,280
I'm actually two years sober myself.
196
00:08:09,446 --> 00:08:12,180
All: Whoa! Uhh! Wow...
197
00:08:12,248 --> 00:08:14,285
Wow, sounds like
you had a real problem.
198
00:08:14,451 --> 00:08:15,851
We're not trying
to go sober sober.
199
00:08:15,918 --> 00:08:16,996
We're just trying to...
200
00:08:17,162 --> 00:08:18,820
We're just kinda
pumping the brakes.
201
00:08:18,888 --> 00:08:20,255
You know, doing
the Hollywood cleanse.
202
00:08:20,323 --> 00:08:21,501
Yeah.
Yeah, we are.
203
00:08:21,667 --> 00:08:22,924
We drank, like,
a weird amount, but, like,
204
00:08:22,992 --> 00:08:25,004
- it'd be weirder to stop.
- Yeah, that would be weird.
205
00:08:25,170 --> 00:08:26,923
Straight-edge people
are weird.
206
00:08:27,089 --> 00:08:29,664
Okay, here's the deal.
You're gonna clock out,
207
00:08:29,732 --> 00:08:31,633
and you're gonna go see Eric in h.R.
208
00:08:31,701 --> 00:08:33,602
Then you're gonna take
a substance-abuse course
209
00:08:33,669 --> 00:08:35,181
before you can start working again.
210
00:08:35,347 --> 00:08:36,638
I don't know
if we necessarily need
211
00:08:36,706 --> 00:08:37,809
to take a substance-abuse course...
212
00:08:37,975 --> 00:08:39,269
Or I can fire you.
213
00:08:39,435 --> 00:08:41,176
Wow, we just dodged a bullet.
214
00:08:41,244 --> 00:08:44,413
She definitely could have axed
the brothers mcmuffins.
215
00:08:44,480 --> 00:08:46,281
- That's us.
- Oh, cool.
216
00:08:46,349 --> 00:08:48,049
We don't have
a substance-abuse problem.
217
00:08:48,117 --> 00:08:50,018
If anything, we have
a subway abuse problem...
218
00:08:50,086 --> 00:08:52,282
- We destroy $5 foot-longs.
- Yeah, we do.
219
00:08:52,448 --> 00:08:54,055
I don't know man,
maybe we do have
220
00:08:54,123 --> 00:08:55,201
a substance-abuse problem.
221
00:08:55,367 --> 00:08:57,092
Yeah, well, I don't know.
Maybe we do.
222
00:08:57,160 --> 00:08:58,593
Maybe we don't.
I don't know.
223
00:08:58,661 --> 00:09:01,496
You know? I'm not the king
of substance abuse.
224
00:09:01,564 --> 00:09:03,765
All I do know is I gotta
go pinch out a growler,
225
00:09:03,833 --> 00:09:05,211
and it's a furious beast.
226
00:09:05,377 --> 00:09:06,868
- So I'm gonna go do that...
- Okay.
227
00:09:06,936 --> 00:09:08,506
And I'll see you guys
at the head shrinker's office.
228
00:09:08,672 --> 00:09:10,925
Dude, hurry up.
We're supposed to be there now.
229
00:09:11,091 --> 00:09:13,074
Yeah, I'm gonna go
hurry up my bowel movement
230
00:09:13,142 --> 00:09:15,043
so I'm not two minutes late
for some fake-ass class.
231
00:09:15,111 --> 00:09:17,179
Yeah!
232
00:09:17,246 --> 00:09:20,449
Yeah, Blonders, that's a good idea.
233
00:09:20,516 --> 00:09:22,937
That's a good... that's a good idea.
234
00:09:23,103 --> 00:09:24,419
235
00:09:24,487 --> 00:09:25,821
-
you gotta
-
You gotta be fresh
236
00:09:26,648 --> 00:09:28,182
it's insane
237
00:09:28,776 --> 00:09:30,350
[Making flatulence noises]
238
00:09:30,418 --> 00:09:32,822
[Recorded sound replays]
239
00:09:34,389 --> 00:09:35,366
Dude, Adam better hurry up.
240
00:09:35,532 --> 00:09:37,911
It's like the guy never
listens to me.
241
00:09:38,077 --> 00:09:40,127
[Making flatulence noises]
Chapstick.
242
00:09:40,195 --> 00:09:42,296
Okay, I'm going to
sock you in the mouth
243
00:09:42,363 --> 00:09:44,031
if you don't cut it out
with that crap!
244
00:09:44,099 --> 00:09:46,767
- It's not crap, it's farts.
- Whoa! T.M.I.
245
00:09:46,835 --> 00:09:49,002
That stands for too much information.
246
00:09:49,070 --> 00:09:50,904
- Oh, we weren't even...That's...
- Oh, I don't care.
247
00:09:50,972 --> 00:09:52,573
Come on, have a seat.
Not this one.
248
00:09:52,640 --> 00:09:54,219
[Chuckles]
Okay.
249
00:09:54,385 --> 00:09:57,745
Little b.G. On me...
I do h.R.
250
00:09:57,812 --> 00:10:00,433
Means human resources here at t.A.C.
251
00:10:00,599 --> 00:10:04,651
My name is Eric rossdale.
Some people call me "cool Eric."
252
00:10:04,719 --> 00:10:06,386
They called me that once.
Some young people too.
253
00:10:06,454 --> 00:10:08,483
Some young...Some...
One young person did that.
254
00:10:08,649 --> 00:10:11,444
I love people.
To say that another way,
255
00:10:11,610 --> 00:10:13,994
I love people!
256
00:10:14,062 --> 00:10:15,865
That one's got a little more
fun to it, doesn't it?
257
00:10:16,031 --> 00:10:18,576
Okay, we are here today...
258
00:10:18,742 --> 00:10:20,968
- Uh...
- Why are you pointing at us?
259
00:10:21,035 --> 00:10:22,703
Help out
with substance abuse...
260
00:10:22,771 --> 00:10:23,937
Well, I'm just trying to
bring everybody into it.
261
00:10:24,005 --> 00:10:25,750
Help out with substance abuse.
262
00:10:25,916 --> 00:10:27,543
Okay? And how do I do that?
263
00:10:27,709 --> 00:10:28,976
Well, one way is
to work through this workbook,
264
00:10:29,043 --> 00:10:30,129
start to finish.
265
00:10:30,295 --> 00:10:32,548
We do every single drill
in this thing.
266
00:10:32,714 --> 00:10:35,115
I sign a piece of paper saying
you've cleaned up your act,
267
00:10:35,183 --> 00:10:37,084
but more importantly, we have dug out
268
00:10:37,152 --> 00:10:38,952
the roots of your addiction.
269
00:10:39,020 --> 00:10:41,121
And you're looking at me
like "what happened to that guy
270
00:10:41,189 --> 00:10:42,923
we called cool two seconds ago?"
271
00:10:42,991 --> 00:10:45,159
He's right here.
How 'bout this instead?
272
00:10:45,226 --> 00:10:48,523
How 'bout we fire up some
step brothers on the blu-ray,
273
00:10:48,689 --> 00:10:50,831
we chill out a little bit...
How does that sound to you?
274
00:10:50,899 --> 00:10:53,236
- Yeah, that sounds...Awesome.
- Yeah.
275
00:10:53,402 --> 00:10:54,735
Okay, great.
276
00:10:54,803 --> 00:10:57,371
Before we start, let me do
some attendance, if that's okay.
277
00:10:57,438 --> 00:10:58,783
Uh, black Anderson.
278
00:10:58,949 --> 00:11:01,119
Uh, I...I think that's me.
279
00:11:01,285 --> 00:11:03,277
Oh, terrific. Oh,
'cause of the curly hair,
280
00:11:03,344 --> 00:11:05,164
like a black man.
That's fun.
281
00:11:05,330 --> 00:11:06,416
Anders holmvik.
282
00:11:06,582 --> 00:11:08,793
- Yeah, right here.
- Yeah, Norwegian.
283
00:11:08,959 --> 00:11:10,086
- Yeah.
- Yeah. Hvordan gar det?
284
00:11:10,252 --> 00:11:12,005
Oh, is that...
No, I don't speak...
285
00:11:12,171 --> 00:11:14,465
- Hvordan gar det?
- Much of the language.
286
00:11:14,631 --> 00:11:16,426
Oh. Oh, you should.
287
00:11:16,592 --> 00:11:18,011
Oh, no, it's a beautiful country.
288
00:11:18,177 --> 00:11:19,512
And Adam demamp.
289
00:11:19,678 --> 00:11:21,764
Actually, Adam's running
a little...
290
00:11:21,930 --> 00:11:23,141
Uh, I am Adam.
291
00:11:28,102 --> 00:11:30,337
Well, I hope you like
sandwiches, Adam,
292
00:11:30,405 --> 00:11:32,108
'cause I got a backpack full of 'em.
293
00:11:32,274 --> 00:11:34,652
Thought they're kinda hot
'cause they were in my backpack.
294
00:11:34,818 --> 00:11:38,406
This is a tuna.
That's made out of tuna.
295
00:11:38,572 --> 00:11:40,908
This is a slightly hotter tuna.
296
00:11:41,074 --> 00:11:42,282
What is that?
Oh.
297
00:11:42,350 --> 00:11:45,538
And I've got a hot,
hot tuna coming through.
298
00:11:45,704 --> 00:11:48,708
Okay...
And I'll turn off the lights.
299
00:11:48,874 --> 00:11:50,376
Dude, where's Adam?
300
00:11:50,542 --> 00:11:51,992
I don't know,
but he's gonna be pissed.
301
00:11:52,060 --> 00:11:53,004
He loves this movie.
302
00:11:53,170 --> 00:11:55,715
[Men shouting]
303
00:11:55,881 --> 00:11:57,759
Oh, oh, oh, oh.
304
00:11:57,925 --> 00:11:59,800
Oh...Oh!
305
00:11:59,868 --> 00:12:01,554
All: Oh...
306
00:12:01,720 --> 00:12:05,975
Goooooal...
307
00:12:06,141 --> 00:12:09,479
[Laughing]
308
00:12:09,645 --> 00:12:11,439
[Speaking Spanish]
309
00:12:11,605 --> 00:12:13,024
Adam gets it.
310
00:12:13,190 --> 00:12:15,276
Whoo-hoo-hoo!
311
00:12:15,442 --> 00:12:16,736
[All cheering]
312
00:12:16,902 --> 00:12:18,488
Thank you, thank you.
313
00:12:18,654 --> 00:12:19,853
You guys deserve some of the credit.
314
00:12:19,921 --> 00:12:22,158
I deserve a little bit more,
but thank you very much.
315
00:12:22,324 --> 00:12:24,285
Hey, nice shot, buddy.
Have a beer.
316
00:12:24,451 --> 00:12:25,626
Hello. No. I'm good.
317
00:12:25,693 --> 00:12:28,328
I'm in a sober pact with my buddies.
318
00:12:28,396 --> 00:12:30,430
It's pretty dumb.
I hate it, but I can't.
319
00:12:30,498 --> 00:12:32,299
However you say no in Spanish,
320
00:12:32,367 --> 00:12:35,630
that is what I'm saying
to you, my Mexican friend.
321
00:12:35,796 --> 00:12:37,504
What, you one of them
straight-edge weirdoes?
322
00:12:37,572 --> 00:12:40,073
No.
323
00:12:40,141 --> 00:12:42,136
Maybe just a little sip, right?
324
00:12:44,388 --> 00:12:45,348
[Man laughing]
Go!
325
00:12:45,514 --> 00:12:46,847
Well, we all have...
Whoa. Everything...
326
00:12:46,915 --> 00:12:48,248
What's happening?
Should I pause it?
327
00:12:48,316 --> 00:12:50,812
Ooh, must have been the bad tuna.
328
00:12:50,978 --> 00:12:52,397
I am Adam.
329
00:12:52,563 --> 00:12:54,788
You hold it right there, bud.
330
00:12:54,856 --> 00:12:57,193
Well, well, look who's
too good for his friends.
331
00:12:57,359 --> 00:12:58,820
Buddy, if you want to
ditch on the class,
332
00:12:58,986 --> 00:13:01,194
I get that...
But we took an oath!
333
00:13:01,262 --> 00:13:03,030
Yeah, we did our
secret pinky promise.
334
00:13:03,097 --> 00:13:05,076
You had your finger in my mouth.
335
00:13:05,242 --> 00:13:06,967
No, I know that.
Slow your mouth down, okay?
336
00:13:07,035 --> 00:13:07,995
I didn't break any oath.
337
00:13:08,161 --> 00:13:09,670
So don't even go there, okay?
338
00:13:09,737 --> 00:13:10,871
No, you're the one
who's going there.
339
00:13:10,939 --> 00:13:12,083
We're here, you're there.
340
00:13:12,249 --> 00:13:14,174
No, I'm here, you're there.
341
00:13:14,242 --> 00:13:15,442
You've been up there the whole time.
342
00:13:15,510 --> 00:13:16,743
You don't know
what's going on out here.
343
00:13:16,811 --> 00:13:17,911
- I didn't drink anything.
- Well, we're here now!
344
00:13:17,979 --> 00:13:19,246
- Oh, you didn't drink anything?
- No!
345
00:13:19,314 --> 00:13:20,647
He handed...He passed me
the beer, I didn't drink...
346
00:13:20,715 --> 00:13:22,677
What about that little thing
you had on your head, huh?
347
00:13:22,843 --> 00:13:24,484
I feel like I'm at the doors
of the labyrinth,
348
00:13:24,552 --> 00:13:26,180
and everything he's saying is a lie.
349
00:13:26,346 --> 00:13:27,487
- Yeah.
- Is that how we're gonna do?
350
00:13:27,555 --> 00:13:29,267
Guess what, I'm gonna do this
right now.
351
00:13:29,433 --> 00:13:30,724
No, you put it down.
Adam, gimme that beer.
352
00:13:30,792 --> 00:13:31,959
I'm just gonna shoot him
with this nail gun.
353
00:13:32,026 --> 00:13:34,188
- Is there a safety on this?
- Hey, put it down.
354
00:13:34,354 --> 00:13:35,963
[All talking at once]
355
00:13:36,030 --> 00:13:38,398
Oh, and it's gonna be
so good too.
356
00:13:38,466 --> 00:13:40,069
This is such a dumb plan!
357
00:13:40,235 --> 00:13:41,612
Get down right now!
358
00:13:41,778 --> 00:13:43,364
- Hey, you put that beer down.
- I'm drinking it now.
359
00:13:43,530 --> 00:13:44,699
- Drop the beer, man!
- Don't--
360
00:13:44,865 --> 00:13:46,951
- we're doing this
for you, you moron!
361
00:13:47,117 --> 00:13:48,953
I'm doing this for your...
362
00:13:49,119 --> 00:13:50,621
Oh, we got it.
I'm trying to help you.
363
00:13:50,787 --> 00:13:53,580
You see, Adam,
the thing about this stuff is...
364
00:13:53,648 --> 00:13:55,282
It's poison.
It really is.
365
00:13:55,350 --> 00:13:56,586
No. What are you doing?
366
00:13:56,752 --> 00:13:58,218
God, don't you guys
have any restraint?
367
00:13:58,286 --> 00:14:00,320
You should see yourselves.
It's pathetic.
368
00:14:00,388 --> 00:14:03,551
Okay? We're done with this beer.
Let's go back to work.
369
00:14:06,595 --> 00:14:08,014
Drop that.
370
00:14:08,180 --> 00:14:09,265
Ugh!
371
00:14:12,517 --> 00:14:14,234
Oh, great.
372
00:14:14,302 --> 00:14:16,439
You guys want it, you got it.
373
00:14:16,605 --> 00:14:18,858
Oh, my God!
Ooh--oh...
374
00:14:19,024 --> 00:14:20,776
Funky butt-lovin'!
375
00:14:20,942 --> 00:14:22,375
Did he just say
funky butt-lovin'?
376
00:14:22,443 --> 00:14:23,738
Yeah.
377
00:14:29,242 --> 00:14:30,225
I've gotta be honest
with you, guys.
378
00:14:30,293 --> 00:14:31,893
I'm a little confused
right now, okay.
379
00:14:31,961 --> 00:14:33,289
'Cause one minute we're having fun,
380
00:14:33,455 --> 00:14:35,497
and the next minute
I got a cerveza in the face.
381
00:14:35,565 --> 00:14:36,918
Do you not like step brothers?
382
00:14:37,084 --> 00:14:38,836
- No, it's great. Funny movie.
- It's awesome.
383
00:14:39,002 --> 00:14:40,880
You guys and Diego
got to watch step brothers?
384
00:14:41,046 --> 00:14:42,137
Yeah. But guess what,
it's off.
385
00:14:42,205 --> 00:14:44,105
And you can forget about
the deleted scenes too
386
00:14:44,173 --> 00:14:45,468
because we're going back
to the workbook.
387
00:14:45,634 --> 00:14:47,637
- Oh...
- Come on, don't be bogus.
388
00:14:47,803 --> 00:14:49,177
And you don't
clock back into work
389
00:14:49,245 --> 00:14:50,745
until you've gone through
every exercise.
390
00:14:50,813 --> 00:14:51,847
And that means
you're not gonna get paid
391
00:14:51,914 --> 00:14:52,892
until you do this right.
392
00:14:53,058 --> 00:14:55,450
Okay, so exercise one.
393
00:14:55,518 --> 00:14:57,146
Oh, art therapy.
This'll be fun.
394
00:15:00,489 --> 00:15:03,444
All right, I want you to draw
a picture of your addiction.
395
00:15:03,610 --> 00:15:05,321
Okay, so what does addiction
look like to you?
396
00:15:05,487 --> 00:15:07,462
Addiction.
Get it?
397
00:15:07,530 --> 00:15:09,825
A dick shin.
398
00:15:09,991 --> 00:15:13,768
Next-level far side stuff, dude.
399
00:15:13,836 --> 00:15:15,373
Keep it up, funny guys.
400
00:15:15,539 --> 00:15:17,208
But I'm not going anywhere!
401
00:15:18,774 --> 00:15:20,542
Next exercise is to
write a letter to yourself
402
00:15:20,610 --> 00:15:22,296
five years from today.
403
00:15:22,462 --> 00:15:25,046
And once all 25
of the demamp spawn
404
00:15:25,114 --> 00:15:27,182
have grown up and graduated
from sculpture school...
405
00:15:27,250 --> 00:15:28,553
- Not a real thing.
- It is.
406
00:15:28,719 --> 00:15:31,419
We'll pick the best one
to make a statue of our body,
407
00:15:31,487 --> 00:15:32,554
and then nike will probably buy it...
408
00:15:32,622 --> 00:15:33,855
Probably not.
409
00:15:33,923 --> 00:15:35,857
And make all their mannequins
exact replicas of it,
410
00:15:35,925 --> 00:15:37,478
because our body is
the perfect human form...
411
00:15:37,644 --> 00:15:39,060
You're fat.
412
00:15:39,128 --> 00:15:41,463
Yeah, you guys are as funny as
the step brothers, aren't you?
413
00:15:41,530 --> 00:15:42,733
Except guess what.
414
00:15:42,899 --> 00:15:45,278
The step brothers don't have
a drinking problem.
415
00:15:45,444 --> 00:15:49,537
Okay, so next exercise, number 11,
416
00:15:49,605 --> 00:15:51,617
finish my sentences.
This one is pretty...
417
00:15:51,783 --> 00:15:53,452
- Self-explanatory.
- Yes, but I haven't actually...
418
00:15:53,618 --> 00:15:55,538
You haven't actually
had sex with an animal? Okay.
419
00:15:55,704 --> 00:15:57,946
- Yeah, but we gotta stick...
- Our butt cheeks together
420
00:15:58,014 --> 00:16:00,048
- and clap our hands?
- All right, you know what,
421
00:16:00,116 --> 00:16:01,294
- I don't want to--
- Do this exercise?
422
00:16:01,460 --> 00:16:02,450
Yeah, neither do I.
Let's not do it.
423
00:16:02,518 --> 00:16:04,797
Okay. You're welcome.
424
00:16:04,963 --> 00:16:06,299
And the last one is
sock puppets.
425
00:16:06,465 --> 00:16:07,989
I know... I know it sounds ridiculous,
426
00:16:08,057 --> 00:16:09,760
but you're not getting paid
until you do it.
427
00:16:09,926 --> 00:16:11,192
Plus, it says it's a lot of fun.
428
00:16:11,260 --> 00:16:13,395
On the other hand, it is
a sock puppet saying that.
429
00:16:13,462 --> 00:16:15,308
I don't know if you can
really take his word for it.
430
00:16:15,474 --> 00:16:18,333
[Ethereal music]
431
00:16:18,401 --> 00:16:21,736
432
00:16:21,804 --> 00:16:24,940
Okay, those are...
Great, actually.
433
00:16:25,007 --> 00:16:28,543
- So let's use 'em.
- This is so dumb.
434
00:16:28,611 --> 00:16:29,989
I'm not gonna do this.
435
00:16:30,155 --> 00:16:32,283
Dude, it's notbout you.
Okay? Sock up.
436
00:16:32,449 --> 00:16:33,367
Use the puppet.
437
00:16:33,533 --> 00:16:36,787
Fine. This is dumb.
438
00:16:36,953 --> 00:16:39,206
Almost as dumb as not drinking
for an entire week.
439
00:16:39,372 --> 00:16:42,126
Everything
you don't want to do is dumb.
440
00:16:42,292 --> 00:16:44,629
And fartsi's
a genius idea!
441
00:16:44,795 --> 00:16:47,506
Yeah.
For once, Adam's right, Blake.
442
00:16:47,672 --> 00:16:49,531
It's time you grew up
and put your time towards
443
00:16:49,598 --> 00:16:51,866
something that's worth something
to somebody
444
00:16:51,934 --> 00:16:52,887
anywhere on this planet.
445
00:16:53,053 --> 00:16:54,055
Get him!
446
00:16:57,339 --> 00:16:59,107
Don't tell me what to do.
447
00:16:59,175 --> 00:17:03,147
You're not the boss of me,
you fake-ass grown-up.
448
00:17:03,313 --> 00:17:04,579
Ooh...
449
00:17:04,647 --> 00:17:06,581
Oh, I'm sorry, maybe
if you weren't so immature,
450
00:17:06,649 --> 00:17:09,028
I wouldn't have to hold your
hand and wipe your ass for you.
451
00:17:09,194 --> 00:17:11,072
Okay, that was one time.
452
00:17:11,238 --> 00:17:13,824
And I told you, I'd never been
camping before.
453
00:17:13,990 --> 00:17:16,994
Hey, guys, why don't we
talk about me now?
454
00:17:17,160 --> 00:17:18,927
Oh, of course.
Who could forget you?
455
00:17:18,994 --> 00:17:20,595
I love how it takes us
to quit drinking
456
00:17:20,663 --> 00:17:23,498
to remember how selfish Adam
"the main attraction" demamp
457
00:17:23,566 --> 00:17:24,752
really is.
458
00:17:24,918 --> 00:17:27,602
Oh, I like how you're using
that nickname
459
00:17:27,670 --> 00:17:29,840
to hurt my feelings,
but guess what, Anders.
460
00:17:30,006 --> 00:17:31,172
- Yeah?
- I love it.
461
00:17:31,240 --> 00:17:33,636
And I'm gonna use it
all the time now.
462
00:17:33,802 --> 00:17:35,930
Do you ever stop talking?
463
00:17:36,096 --> 00:17:38,432
Yeah, Blake, I'll agree.
But at least he knows
464
00:17:38,598 --> 00:17:41,060
how to write a rent check
on time, like an adult.
465
00:17:41,226 --> 00:17:43,729
- Mm-hmm.
- Oh. You want me to grow up?
466
00:17:43,895 --> 00:17:46,315
Yeah, I'm immature.
I'm real immature.
467
00:17:46,481 --> 00:17:51,292
But I'm immature
because I know, when I grow up,
468
00:17:51,360 --> 00:17:53,294
it means I'm gonna be
that much closer
469
00:17:53,362 --> 00:17:54,796
to moving away from you guys,
470
00:17:54,864 --> 00:17:56,909
and marrying girls and stuff.
471
00:17:57,075 --> 00:17:59,954
Come on, man, don't say that.
472
00:18:00,120 --> 00:18:04,539
No...He's right.
473
00:18:04,607 --> 00:18:07,142
[Voice breaking] I'm sorry too.
474
00:18:07,209 --> 00:18:09,644
I know I can be
self-centered sometimes,
475
00:18:09,712 --> 00:18:13,259
but...
I never heard "no" growing up.
476
00:18:13,425 --> 00:18:16,784
Now that I've logged
10,000 hours of being a brat,
477
00:18:16,852 --> 00:18:19,220
I'm just a total
self-serving outlier,
478
00:18:19,288 --> 00:18:22,223
and that's not how Adam
"the main attraction" demamp
479
00:18:22,291 --> 00:18:23,436
wants to live!
480
00:18:23,602 --> 00:18:25,527
Oh, man. Adam, look...
[Sniffs]
481
00:18:25,594 --> 00:18:27,231
It's hard to say no to that face.
482
00:18:27,397 --> 00:18:28,649
- It's a cute one.
- It is.
483
00:18:28,815 --> 00:18:29,942
Thank you.
484
00:18:30,108 --> 00:18:32,066
I know I can be
controlling sometimes,
485
00:18:32,134 --> 00:18:34,655
but it's just because
I care about you,
486
00:18:34,821 --> 00:18:36,907
and I want the best r you.
487
00:18:37,073 --> 00:18:38,940
But sometimes I don't know
what's best.
488
00:18:39,008 --> 00:18:41,537
And that... that scares me.
489
00:18:41,703 --> 00:18:44,915
Life...Is...Scary.
490
00:18:45,081 --> 00:18:47,148
I know that I can
tell you guys this,
491
00:18:47,216 --> 00:18:50,451
and you won't judge me.
492
00:18:50,519 --> 00:18:55,301
I...Like...You guys!
493
00:18:55,467 --> 00:18:56,791
[Crying] I like you too, man!
494
00:18:56,859 --> 00:18:59,263
I like you.
Let's stop fighting.
495
00:18:59,429 --> 00:19:01,682
Let's stop fighting.
I like you guys!
496
00:19:01,848 --> 00:19:04,199
I like you guys!
497
00:19:04,266 --> 00:19:06,812
Wow.
That was intense.
498
00:19:06,978 --> 00:19:09,037
This book works.
499
00:19:09,104 --> 00:19:11,839
I mean, you guys made
actual progress today.
500
00:19:11,907 --> 00:19:13,374
And it was because of...
501
00:19:13,442 --> 00:19:15,029
- Us.
- Me!
502
00:19:15,195 --> 00:19:17,907
I gotta... congratulations. You pass.
503
00:19:18,073 --> 00:19:19,325
- Really?
- Cool. Thank you so much.
504
00:19:19,491 --> 00:19:20,451
Thanks, cool Eric.
505
00:19:20,617 --> 00:19:22,016
Yeah, just leave your puppets
at the door,
506
00:19:22,084 --> 00:19:23,204
and here's your release form.
507
00:19:23,370 --> 00:19:25,587
- You are cool.
- Thanks. Um, actually,
508
00:19:25,654 --> 00:19:27,082
is it cool if I keep mine?
509
00:19:27,248 --> 00:19:28,250
- Yeah, me too.
- Yeah.
510
00:19:28,416 --> 00:19:30,252
I keep all puppets.
511
00:20:46,119 --> 00:20:49,852
That was, uh...Weird.
512
00:20:49,920 --> 00:20:51,988
Yeah.
513
00:20:52,055 --> 00:20:54,023
Being sober makes you
really see things
514
00:20:54,091 --> 00:20:55,170
the way they really are.
515
00:20:55,336 --> 00:20:58,924
So...What now?
516
00:21:01,176 --> 00:21:02,261
[All cheering]
517
00:21:02,427 --> 00:21:03,929
Drinks for my buddies!
518
00:21:04,095 --> 00:21:05,598
- All right.
- Send 'em down.
519
00:21:05,764 --> 00:21:07,308
Sendin' 'em down.
520
00:21:07,474 --> 00:21:09,038
[Making flatulence noises]
521
00:21:09,106 --> 00:21:10,895
That means thank you!
522
00:21:11,061 --> 00:21:13,355
I'm making an app
that translates farts.
523
00:21:13,521 --> 00:21:15,912
Oh, baby, that sounds amazing.
524
00:21:15,979 --> 00:21:17,780
Now give big mama some money.
525
00:21:17,848 --> 00:21:19,515
All right, now,
you gotta do it right, okay?
526
00:21:19,583 --> 00:21:24,241
Let's graze the skin,
then put it under the strap.
527
00:21:24,407 --> 00:21:25,367
See the goose bumps?
528
00:21:25,533 --> 00:21:27,369
Oh, she's feeling you, dude.
529
00:21:27,535 --> 00:21:29,258
I don't even mind
the pregnancy scars.
530
00:21:29,326 --> 00:21:31,127
- Hell, I like 'em.
- Those are cool!
531
00:21:31,194 --> 00:21:33,996
- These chicks get it!
- Yeah!
532
00:21:34,064 --> 00:21:37,171
[M.C.]
Let's hear it for eunice.
533
00:21:37,337 --> 00:21:39,201
And coming to the stage now,
534
00:21:39,269 --> 00:21:41,008
the seductive Karen.
535
00:21:41,174 --> 00:21:42,968
Get at it, boys.
536
00:21:43,134 --> 00:21:44,573
- That guy is awesome!
- Yeah.
537
00:21:44,641 --> 00:21:47,681
- Take my money.
- What's he doing?
538
00:21:47,847 --> 00:21:51,514
Oh, dude!
Aaaaa...You are awesome!
539
00:21:51,581 --> 00:21:53,082
You should come to our house
and party,
540
00:21:53,150 --> 00:21:55,147
and bring eunice
and all these awesome chicks.
541
00:21:55,313 --> 00:21:57,019
[Laughs]
542
00:21:57,087 --> 00:21:58,984
Heil, shitler!
543
00:21:59,150 --> 00:22:00,527
Cool, cool.
Definitely.
544
00:22:00,693 --> 00:22:03,530
Both: Shitler party,
shitler party, yeah.
545
00:22:03,696 --> 00:22:06,700
Wow, I don't know
what that means!
546
00:22:06,866 --> 00:22:08,661
Sync and correction by Mlmlte
www.addic7ed.com
547
00:22:08,711 --> 00:22:13,261
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
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