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1
00:01:49,167 --> 00:01:51,710
Thank you for tuning in,
all you home viewers.
2
00:01:51,793 --> 00:01:54,881
Welcome to…
The Jeremy Show.
3
00:01:54,963 --> 00:01:56,215
Jeremy, what are you doing here?
4
00:01:56,299 --> 00:01:59,052
I mean, I know I may not
have been 100 percent truthful,
5
00:01:59,135 --> 00:01:59,969
but that’s really no--
6
00:02:00,052 --> 00:02:00,887
Shut up!
7
00:02:00,969 --> 00:02:02,054
It’s my turn to talk.
8
00:02:02,138 --> 00:02:03,765
- (muffled grunt)
- You don’t get to talk anymore.
9
00:02:03,847 --> 00:02:05,933
You’re done spewing lies!
10
00:02:06,016 --> 00:02:08,853
I’m here to tell
what really happened that day.
11
00:02:08,937 --> 00:02:13,566
No more of your lame,
lying, fake news version.
12
00:02:13,650 --> 00:02:15,401
One more step and I’ll shoot!
13
00:02:21,449 --> 00:02:26,120
♪Where the bears are,
We wanna be♪
14
00:02:27,705 --> 00:02:33,086
SEASON 6 EPISODE 15
BEARS ON THE MOUNTAIN TOP,
PART TWO
15
00:02:34,127 --> 00:02:35,587
- He made everything up...
- (muffled grunt)
16
00:02:35,671 --> 00:02:37,757
...just to make himself
look good.
17
00:02:39,967 --> 00:02:42,344
That day, four years ago,
18
00:02:42,427 --> 00:02:45,097
when they all thought I was dead
and they were happy about it…
19
00:02:46,473 --> 00:02:47,683
well, I wasn’t.
20
00:02:48,810 --> 00:02:50,311
I survived...
21
00:02:50,395 --> 00:02:52,438
only to have to endure
22
00:02:52,521 --> 00:02:54,774
his disgusting, meteoric
rise to fame…
23
00:02:55,108 --> 00:02:56,734
at my expense!
24
00:02:57,360 --> 00:03:00,321
I go to sleep every night
boiling with rage,
25
00:03:00,405 --> 00:03:02,949
desperate for a chance
to bring him down a peg...
26
00:03:04,116 --> 00:03:07,120
and then a fucking miracle
happened.
27
00:03:07,203 --> 00:03:08,830
- (muffled speaking)
- What?
28
00:03:08,913 --> 00:03:10,373
You can’t say “fuck”
on basic cable.
29
00:03:10,455 --> 00:03:11,748
Fuck you!
30
00:03:11,832 --> 00:03:14,877
And then I saw him
on GROWLr in Mexico,
31
00:03:14,961 --> 00:03:17,005
where I’ve been hiding
out for the last four years.
32
00:03:17,087 --> 00:03:19,549
I couldn’t believe my luck.
33
00:03:20,883 --> 00:03:23,887
I was the last person
he expected to see that day.
34
00:03:25,054 --> 00:03:26,514
Miss me, Reggie-Reg?
35
00:03:26,598 --> 00:03:28,892
But he didn’t save the day
like he claimed.
36
00:03:28,974 --> 00:03:33,687
Hell no, he ran,
screaming like a little girl.
37
00:03:33,770 --> 00:03:36,064
(screaming like a little girl)
38
00:03:38,568 --> 00:03:39,986
Didn’t you?
39
00:03:40,068 --> 00:03:41,236
Hey, they need our help.
40
00:03:41,320 --> 00:03:42,280
- Let's go.
- We gotta get up there.
41
00:03:42,362 --> 00:03:44,115
Hey, where are you boys going?
42
00:03:44,199 --> 00:03:46,034
I got a quiche in the oven.
43
00:03:48,411 --> 00:03:49,746
Screw this.
44
00:03:50,580 --> 00:03:52,415
I couldn’t stand
seeing his smug,
45
00:03:52,497 --> 00:03:55,000
self-important face
on TV anymore,
46
00:03:55,084 --> 00:03:59,004
so I came back to finish
what I started four years ago.
47
00:04:04,301 --> 00:04:07,680
Go on, Reggie, do us all a favor
and jump!
48
00:04:07,764 --> 00:04:09,933
(imitating Reggie)
Jeremy, you imbecile, you’ve got
the wrong guy!
49
00:04:10,015 --> 00:04:11,475
That’s my stand-in!
50
00:04:15,646 --> 00:04:17,439
Freeze, Jeremy, it’s over.
51
00:04:17,524 --> 00:04:19,192
Crew guys!
Someone bring me some rope!
52
00:04:20,235 --> 00:04:21,485
Down here, come on.
53
00:04:23,654 --> 00:04:25,155
Tie his hands behind his back.
54
00:04:25,240 --> 00:04:27,324
- Are you okay?
- Be sure to tune in next week
55
00:04:27,408 --> 00:04:28,992
when I talk to an expert witness
56
00:04:29,076 --> 00:04:32,120
to discuss why a demented mind
like Jeremy Richards'
57
00:04:32,204 --> 00:04:34,873
could come up with such a wild,
fantastical story,
58
00:04:34,958 --> 00:04:36,876
with absolutely no shred
of truth.
59
00:04:36,959 --> 00:04:39,127
Oh, come on,
Reggie, give us all a break!
60
00:04:39,211 --> 00:04:41,673
Everybody knows Jeremy’s version
is the real one.
61
00:04:41,755 --> 00:04:43,257
I can’t believe
you made that shit up.
62
00:04:43,341 --> 00:04:45,552
We’re on the air, Nelson!
63
00:04:46,052 --> 00:04:48,388
Actually, we're not. They cut
the feed and went to reruns.
64
00:04:48,471 --> 00:04:49,930
Reggie, it doesn’t matter!
65
00:04:50,014 --> 00:04:51,641
Your boyfriend's life
is in danger!
66
00:04:51,723 --> 00:04:52,599
What?
67
00:04:52,684 --> 00:04:53,560
An assassin’s
going to kill Prince Omar
68
00:04:53,642 --> 00:04:55,477
on live TV
during his coming-out speech.
69
00:04:55,562 --> 00:04:56,896
Prince Omar is the Falcon!
70
00:04:56,980 --> 00:04:57,814
What! He's--
71
00:04:57,896 --> 00:04:59,356
We have to— What are you doing,
you’re a spy!
72
00:04:59,439 --> 00:05:01,483
What are you doing?
We have to do something!
73
00:05:01,567 --> 00:05:02,442
When does he go on?
74
00:05:02,526 --> 00:05:04,361
In an hour, when my show
is supposed to end.
75
00:05:04,444 --> 00:05:05,612
Okay, well…
76
00:05:05,988 --> 00:05:07,656
Of course there’s
no fucking signal up here,
77
00:05:07,740 --> 00:05:09,617
and my car's four miles away
in crew parking!
78
00:05:09,701 --> 00:05:11,619
They can have a shuttle up
in 20 minutes to take us down!
79
00:05:11,702 --> 00:05:12,995
We don’t have
20 minutes to wait.
80
00:05:13,788 --> 00:05:15,038
There! That trailer!
81
00:05:15,122 --> 00:05:16,290
That’s our fastest way
down the mountain.
82
00:05:16,374 --> 00:05:17,876
All right, bears,
let’s move out!
83
00:05:17,959 --> 00:05:19,043
Let’s go.
84
00:05:19,127 --> 00:05:21,588
Guys, keep an eye on him.
Don’t let him get away.
85
00:05:21,670 --> 00:05:22,838
Yeah, we got him.
86
00:05:25,216 --> 00:05:26,175
Oh, gosh!
87
00:05:28,136 --> 00:05:29,387
It's fucking locked!
88
00:05:29,470 --> 00:05:31,723
- Well, who’s got the key?
- Oh, that asshole, Jacques!
89
00:05:31,805 --> 00:05:33,682
- The make-up guy?
- Yeah. Jacques!
90
00:05:33,766 --> 00:05:35,810
Jacques, give me the keys
to the RV. I need them now.
91
00:05:35,894 --> 00:05:38,021
I can’t. I’m the only one
allowed to drive it.
92
00:05:38,103 --> 00:05:39,313
I’m going to be fired.
93
00:05:39,396 --> 00:05:42,858
Oh, Jacques,
I would never fire you.
94
00:05:42,942 --> 00:05:44,776
Come on, give me the keys.
95
00:05:47,197 --> 00:05:48,906
Thank you.
You’re fired!
96
00:05:48,990 --> 00:05:50,783
That was mean,
really fucking mean.
97
00:05:50,867 --> 00:05:51,701
Sorry.
98
00:05:51,783 --> 00:05:53,076
Go, go, go.
99
00:05:53,161 --> 00:05:54,329
Jeremy fucking Richards, man.
100
00:05:54,411 --> 00:05:55,412
Yeah, who fucking knew?
101
00:05:55,495 --> 00:05:56,747
I thought it was part of
the script, or something.
102
00:05:56,831 --> 00:05:58,499
That’s fucking awesome
how we took him out, huh?
103
00:05:58,583 --> 00:06:00,084
I was going to take out my knife
and be like…
104
00:06:00,168 --> 00:06:01,793
- Shit!
- Where the fuck did he go?
105
00:06:04,047 --> 00:06:05,590
Hurry, let’s go.
106
00:06:05,673 --> 00:06:06,882
- Yeah!
- (moaning)
107
00:06:06,966 --> 00:06:09,552
What-- Where is
that coming from?
108
00:06:09,927 --> 00:06:11,137
We don’t have time for this.
109
00:06:13,639 --> 00:06:15,265
Bye-bye, bitches.
110
00:06:23,690 --> 00:06:25,067
Todd, slow down.
111
00:06:25,151 --> 00:06:26,610
We’re on a mountain,
for God's sake.
112
00:06:26,694 --> 00:06:28,196
Shut up, Nelson!
We have to get to Omar!
113
00:06:28,278 --> 00:06:29,322
His life is in danger!
114
00:06:29,404 --> 00:06:30,489
Uh, something’s wrong.
115
00:06:30,572 --> 00:06:32,241
Quiet on the set!
116
00:06:32,324 --> 00:06:33,700
Darn it.
117
00:06:33,785 --> 00:06:36,120
Are we really supposed
to be moving while we do this?
118
00:06:36,495 --> 00:06:37,746
Hey, you know what?
119
00:06:37,829 --> 00:06:41,000
Let’s just forget about this
whole porn thing, George!
120
00:06:41,084 --> 00:06:42,961
Maybe everybody’s right.
121
00:06:43,043 --> 00:06:45,546
Maybe I am too old
and impertinent.
122
00:06:46,463 --> 00:06:48,966
Wood Burns old?
123
00:06:49,050 --> 00:06:50,343
Please.
124
00:06:50,425 --> 00:06:52,637
You’re never too old
to turn me on.
125
00:06:52,720 --> 00:06:54,889
Forrest Hump is one
of my favorite movies.
126
00:06:55,264 --> 00:06:56,890
Really?
127
00:06:56,975 --> 00:07:00,311
“Life is like a box of condoms…”
128
00:07:01,187 --> 00:07:04,858
You see, Wood,
Dash here believes in you…
129
00:07:05,899 --> 00:07:08,443
and so do I.
130
00:07:11,613 --> 00:07:13,031
It’s happening!
131
00:07:13,115 --> 00:07:14,741
I’m getting hard again, guys.
132
00:07:14,826 --> 00:07:16,661
Beer Can Bob is back!
133
00:07:17,036 --> 00:07:18,704
Is that our costar?
134
00:07:18,788 --> 00:07:19,872
Do I have to share billing?
135
00:07:19,956 --> 00:07:21,290
No, it's my dick!
136
00:07:21,374 --> 00:07:23,209
I’m finally able
to get hard again. Look!
137
00:07:24,334 --> 00:07:26,295
“Oh, hello there, Dash.
138
00:07:26,379 --> 00:07:27,922
How are you?”
139
00:07:28,005 --> 00:07:29,631
Oh, good to meet you.
140
00:07:29,716 --> 00:07:31,134
Oh, he likes you.
141
00:07:31,216 --> 00:07:32,426
He likes you a lot.
142
00:07:32,509 --> 00:07:34,262
All right!
Well, there’s no time to waste!
143
00:07:34,345 --> 00:07:38,057
- Oh, absolutely!
- All right, and… action, boys!
144
00:07:42,478 --> 00:07:43,812
BRAKE
145
00:07:44,730 --> 00:07:46,149
Uh… guys?
146
00:07:46,232 --> 00:07:48,359
Something’s wrong.
The brakes aren’t working.
147
00:07:48,442 --> 00:07:49,735
- What?
- Are you sure?
148
00:07:49,819 --> 00:07:51,028
Yeah, pretty sure.
149
00:07:51,112 --> 00:07:53,489
I think someone or something
must've cut the brake line.
150
00:07:53,572 --> 00:07:55,157
Oh, my God,
this can’t be happening!
151
00:07:55,240 --> 00:07:56,700
We’re all going to die!
152
00:07:56,783 --> 00:08:00,120
Okay, okay, uh, uh, Reggie,
I need you to take over.
153
00:08:00,704 --> 00:08:01,663
What?
154
00:08:01,747 --> 00:08:02,789
I need you
to take the wheel.
155
00:08:02,874 --> 00:08:03,790
- No!
- Yes!
156
00:08:03,875 --> 00:08:05,043
- No!
- Take the fucking wheel!
157
00:08:05,125 --> 00:08:05,959
No!
158
00:08:06,043 --> 00:08:08,170
I need you to take
the fucking wheel, right now.
159
00:08:08,254 --> 00:08:10,048
I’m going to try
to fix the brakes, you spaz!
160
00:08:10,130 --> 00:08:11,673
- Here, come on, take the wheel!
- Do it!
161
00:08:11,757 --> 00:08:13,759
Do it. Do it!
162
00:08:14,593 --> 00:08:15,427
- Yeah, come on.
- Watch out!
163
00:08:15,512 --> 00:08:16,346
- Here we go.
- Oh, my God.
164
00:08:16,428 --> 00:08:18,388
Watch out!
Oh, my God!
165
00:08:18,805 --> 00:08:19,640
- Okay?
- You got it?
166
00:08:19,723 --> 00:08:21,016
- Keep your hands on the wheel.
- I got it.
167
00:08:21,100 --> 00:08:22,060
Keep your hands on the wheel.
168
00:08:22,142 --> 00:08:23,018
Oh, my God!
169
00:08:23,685 --> 00:08:24,770
Ah, fuck.
170
00:08:24,853 --> 00:08:26,480
- Hurry!
- Uh, okay, here we go.
171
00:08:28,440 --> 00:08:30,359
There’s a door
and there’s a panel down here.
172
00:08:30,442 --> 00:08:33,529
I can see the brake line:
someone sliced it in half.
173
00:08:33,613 --> 00:08:34,614
Oh, my God!
174
00:08:34,697 --> 00:08:37,241
Honestly, I cannot believe
how callous you were, Nelson,
175
00:08:37,325 --> 00:08:39,953
suggesting my feelings for
Prince Omar were not genuine.
176
00:08:40,035 --> 00:08:41,870
Seriously, you want
to do this now?
177
00:08:41,955 --> 00:08:43,581
I’m sorry, I…
178
00:08:43,664 --> 00:08:44,623
Reggie, look out!
179
00:08:45,917 --> 00:08:49,629
♪Where the bears are,
We wanna be♪
180
00:08:49,711 --> 00:08:52,005
♪Where the bears are,
Where the bears are♪
12220
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