All language subtitles for Spin City s02e10.Eng

previously on spin city.

I can't tell you how much fun
I'm having on this trip.

I can't tell you how much fun
it's been having you here.

Hi!

Mom!

I said freeze!

I heard some poor guy standing
near the Candy machines got hit.

When I bite into
a York peppermint Patty,

I get shot.

O.k., people,
here is our problem.

The mayor was caught handing
money to a known prostitute.

You lost me my job.

My lawyer says I have
an open-and-shut case.

See you in court, Sonny.

You cannot believe
what I've been through.

I just spent the whole night scouring
the city searching for the mayor.

Hey, is that breakfast?

There he is.

Good morning, people.
Good morning.

I am sure we are all
focused on the same problem,

so let's get down to it.

Mr. Fluffy...

The children's zoo mascot,
has recovered from mange...

And is now available
for petting.

However, until he's completely out of
the Woods, there is a 2-stroke maximum.

Mr. Scruffy's speedy
recovery notwithstanding-

it's mr. Fluffy,
Carter.

I've seen him, Mike. His
Fluffy days are way behind him.

Don't we still have that tiny problem of the
photo of the mayor with the prostitute?

No. I found the mayor.
He was not with a prostitute last night,

so our strategy in dealing
with this is straight denial.

What if somebody
asks me about this?

Tell 'em you don't know anything.
But I don't.

Very good.

Hope you all
learned from James.

Learned what?

Will you stop showing off?
Come on.

What about the picture, Mike?

A simple misunderstanding,
media distortion, uh...

Tabloid sensationalism.

I don't know.
I saw the mayor this morning.

He didn't look like a man
that had spent the night alone.

I'm happy to report
he is alone... and unloved.

Let's move on to
something a little lighter.

Hey, Paul.
How's your head wound?

Hank's still suing you, Paul?

Yes. But...

The last thing I need is publicity about
one city hall employee suing another.

Here's the thing.

I have already applied

and been accepted on...

Ed koch's the people's court
, taping this afternoon.

Please tell me if you lose,
you go to jail.

Here it is, my family's recipe

for the best sweet potato
pie in the world. Mmm.

Guard it with your life.

This is a xeroxed page
from the Joy of cooking.

That book's been
in our family for years.

I can't wait
to go home for Thanksgiving.

I love the whole thing.
A little snow on the ground,

a little touch football
game before dinner.

Get to sit at the kiddie table.

You still sit
at the kiddie table?

Big fish, small pond.

Thanksgiving at my house is nothing but
a bunch of fat, overstuffed drunks

sitting in front of a tv turned up
so loud they can't hear each other.

Oh, and me in the bedroom
rifling through their jackets.

So, that's 5 days and 4 nights
at the bahama Hilton?

Uh, is the continental breakfast
included in that?

Excellent.
Thank you.

Your family's going to
the Bahamas for Thanksgiving?

I hope not.
That's where I'm gonna be.

You're not gonna spend
Thanksgiving with your parents?

The only mama I wanna see
is the bahama mama.

What is this, some kind
of fruity club med?

Actually, it's a... very
secluded part of the Island.

Nothing but palm trees,
warm sand,

me, 3 books, and my towel.

Mmm.

I have a towel.

I could get a book.

Oh, no. No, no.

# Day-o, da-ay-o #
no.

Oh, no. # Daylight come
and me wanna go home #

you're all singing,
but you're not going.

# Hey, mister tallyman... #

you think you're traveling
with me on my vacation,

but that ain't happening,
so you can stop singing...

I'm sure you're feeling,
um, uncomfortable.

sir,
with all due respect,

sitting on a red-hot
poker is uncomfortable.

This is excruciating.

Maybe we should just put it
on the back burner for a while.

I was kinda hoping you
could explain that picture.

Well, I-I was
asking for change.

How was I supposed to know
she was a prostitute?

Sir, what does she
look like to you?

She reminds me of that woman that
Stuart brought to the governor's ball.

Oh.

Well, thank goodness we can
explain this whole situation.

I think I can handle this without
bringing my mother into it.

I- I was, uh...

Wanting to save
subjecting her sex life

to the scrutiny of the new York
press for her Christmas visit.

Oh, she's coming for Christmas.

Uh-sir, if you don't mind,
my mother's in there,

and I was hoping we'd have
a little mother-son bonding.

Can I at least say hi?

I think you've had
your quality time.

Hey, ma.
Oh, Mike,

honey, I am so
unbelievably sorry.

Just a minute.

still bonding, sir.

I'm sorry, Mike.

Good morning...
Mommy.

Ah, it's fake happy Mike.

- You're angry.
- Mom.

I can't believe what an awkward
position I've put you in.

Believe me, I never
planned for this to happen.

I know.
I made your schedule.

This was not on it.

Stacey... I've been looking
High and low for you.

Well, maybe you should try
getting outta your chair.

It'll increase your odds.

No, Stacey, Stacey, I need you to
testify for me at the people's court.

listen, van gogh,

I can't possibly take off work.

I'm sorry.
It's a definite "no".

All right, I'll go
on tv myself. Fine.

National tv?

- Yeah.
- Millions of cute guys watching?

- Uh-huh.
- All right, I'll do it.

Here. I want you to look
at these books, o. k.?

I've highlighted some cases
that are similar to mine,

and made notes on questions
that they're likely to ask.

You know what you do?
Call up the law library,

see if they can dig up some legal
precedence that we can cite.

I'm on it, Paulie.

Yeah, ma?
I'm gonna be on tv.

Yeah, no, I don't know,
some stupid thing.

We just got together
to talk like old friends.

Next thing you know,
we wind up in my hotel room!

If this conversation
goes any further,

I may be forced to go
on a tri-state killing spree.

Oh, I don't blame you.

You're embarrassed.

Nah, look, it's all right.

Growing up together, we had
embarrassing moments all the time.

We did not.

When I lost my virginity?

You walked in...

Mid-lose.

That was an honest mistake.

Mom, you stayed and talked.

She seemed a bit confused.

So, you swear I didn't cause you
any big problems here at work?

Here's the morning papers
with a big picture...

I read those, uh...
Yesterday.

Thank you.

Mom, you did not
cause me any problems. O.k.?

There is no reason that you should
feel bad about any of this.

Just know, the last thing I
thought would happen on my visit

is that I'd wind up sleeping
with the mayor of new York city.

Did we forget to knock?

I know, I know. They all
have different last names.

No, they are not my family.
They're just...

Friends.

I know, I know, bad idea.

Stuart, I don't feel well. Knowing about
Mike's mom and the mayor is killing me.

James, secrets are power.

You get something good
like this, sit on it.

Right now, you leak it,
it's just office gossip

that makes everyone
uncomfortable.

But in 20 years, when Mike's
running for president,

this little gem gets me
an ambassadorship to Sweden.

What do I get?

Topless postcard from Sweden.

We just... connected.
You know?

The mayor is really
an amazing man.

He's smart,
he's funny, he's sweet.

If you thought about it,
you'd see...

I guess it's kind of uncomfortable
talking to your mother about sex.

Oh, no, mom.
I've been looking forward to this day.

Before I give them the last
digit of my card number

to confirm this ill-conceived and
nonrefundable mistake of a vacation,

are you all sure?

Bahamas! Bahamas!
Bahamas! Bahamas!

I'll book it if you promise
never to chant "Bahamas" again.

o. k., o. k., o. k., o. k.

stop!

8.

Huh. All right,
thank you.

It's done.

Hey!
Whoo-hoo!

Block of rooms, garden view.

Wait a second.
Garden view?

That's the opposite
of ocean view.

"Hey, foxy Lady, you wanna come
back to my garden view room?"

I asked for the garden.

The noise from the ocean
keeps me up at night.

So would the noise
from my foxy Lady, if...

I had an ocean view room.

Stacey, any chance the national media's
picked up on the story with the mayor?

Ma, I gotta go. The mayor pulled
an "uncle Louie" last night.

Um, nothing national, but did you see
the headline in the post?

"His honor was on her. "

Very clever.

Jason's really killing us.
Sorry, Mike.

It's under control. I got Jason
coming over here right now.

Jason's coming up here?

Damn, I hate this tie.

Hey, Mike.
Carter.

Oh, great tie.
yes!

Listen, Jason, about this
story in the morning paper...

I thought it was great.

You didn't think
it was too wordy?

Why are you so hard on yourself?
You're so talented...

Fellas?

Please.

O.k., here's the deal.

I have an explanation
for this picture,

and I'm gonna back it up as soon
as this hooker comes in here

and tells you she was not
with the mayor last night.

- Having the police pick her up right now.
- On what charge?

I don't know. Let's hope
she does something illegal

while she's trying to get
people to pay her to have sex.

Don't bother, Mike.
I already talked to her.

And she's writing a book detailing her
5- year relationship with the mayor.

- Sorry, Buddy.
- No. Uh, Jason, wait.

Carter, uh-
do something.

So, we still on for tonight?

She's lying, Jason!

How could you possibly know that?
Do you have some kind of alibi?

No.
No, I don't.

Mike's mom is the perfect alibi.
Should I go remind him?

Only if you're
bucking for a promotion.

Wait a minute.

So close!

Hey.

Stuart. I'm sure you have
an impressive array

of "your mom slept
with the mayor" jokes.

The punch line to every one of
them is "Mike, let go of my neck. "

I'm not here to make jokes.

There'll be...
Plenty of time for that later.

So, how do these little
heart-to-hearts work?

First, you gotta
get yourself a heart.

I think I know what
you're feeling, Mike.

After my parents got divorced,

uh, my mom would
bring guys home...

Fool around with them.

Really bugged me.

That's because you lived
in a studio apartment.

It's amazing I came away with such a
healthy attitude toward the chicks.

I just wish I had
a sister for you.

Look, that's not
my problem, stu.

I just love my mom too much
to throw her into this mess.

Well, you know, Mike,

there comes a time...

When you gotta let people...

Make their own decisions
and make their own mistakes,

and you have to trust that
your mom is gonna find her way.

That's beautiful, Stuart.

Thank you.

James wrote that, didn't he?

Yeah, but it was my idea.

Sure it wasn't Nikki's idea?

Hey, I'm in here, all right?

this sweet old man
is the plaintiff, Hank dorsett.

aw!

He claims he was
wrongfully terminated

because of the actions
of the defendant.

He's suing for $2,500

to help him get by until
his social security kicks in.

Meet the defendant,
Paul lassiter.

Boo.

He says he was
minding his own business

at a city hall
Candy machine

when the plaintiff
grazed him with a bullet.

He stands accused
of costing Hank his job

by filing a complaint over a routine
and unavoidable workplace injury.

All rise. The people's
court is now in session.

The honorable Edward I.
Koch is now presiding.

Be seated and come to order.
Good day. Good day.

I've taken a look at the case,
and it appears to be clear

what the problem is, so Hank,

why don't you tell us
your side of the story?

Well, I was hoping that my
lawyer would be here to help me.

this is Alan dershowitz.

He's doing this
as a favor for Hank

who saved mr. Dershowitz's
father's life during the war.

I'm sorry I'm late, ed.

No problem, Alan.

Your honor, I object!

He has a lawyer!

He has Alan dershowitz!

O.k., vacation buddies.
I've done it, and I think

I managed
to accommodate everyone.

one garden view room,

one pool view room,
one ocean view room.

Group meals.

Vegetarian, meat and potatoes.

Kosher.
I like the way it tastes!

And we're sitting...

In whatever section
has the hottest waitress.

Carter, I'm very impressed.

o. k., Stuart,
you and James have a room.

Janelle,
you and Nikki have a room.

And I have my own room.
See you on the beach.

Wait a minute, "mr. I have my own
room and then turn and walk away. "

Come on, guys.
This is gonna be great.

Let's, uh-
try to keep it together.

"Together. " interesting choice of words
from someone who's rooming alone.

Fine. James, you can
take the single room.

Stuart and I will
room together.

So now the little plan
comes into focus.

Why doesn't one of us get the single?
That sounds fair.

Fine. Janelle, you can have
the single room.

- When I said "one of us", I meant "one of me"!
- Oh, I have had it!

Why wouldn't you say anything?

Didn't you realize that,
sooner or later,

I was gonna find out about
the prostitute story?

I tried to keep her busy, Mike.

I was just trying
to protect you, mom.

I can't tell you
how much it hurts me

to realize that you
don't think I can handle this.

You don't think
I can fend for myself.

No, I just-I just...
I love you, mom.

He really does.
He says so all the time.

Sir, if you don't mind,
I'd really be more comfortable

if you just
stayed out of this part.

No problem.

Honey, you've been very protective of
me since your father and I split up,

and I am very
grateful for that.

You've got to recognize
how strong I am.

So let me-
let me fix this for you.

Whew...

O.k.

I can do that.

Promise me one thing.
O.k.?

Name it.

Promise me that
you'll never, ever...

Have sex with anyone...

For as long as you live.

It's a deal.

Aw.

Your honor,
before we go any further,

I want to say one thing.

I'm being sued...

For getting shot in the head!

And?

Maybe I could shed
some light on this.

Yeah, that's right.
She was there.

She saw the whole thing.
Tell him, stace.

Hi.
I'm Stacey paterno.

23.

On the morning in question,
I was single,

as I am now.

I arrived at city hall

where I am making good money.

I believe I was wearing
a tasteful outfit,

showing off my nice figure.

And I plan on keeping it
even after I'm married.

Thank you for your testimony,
ms. Paterno.

Yeah, thanks for
your help, stace.

Your honor, please,

I have a written statement
from the doctor.

I have the results
from the ballistics test.

I've lost 30% of
the hearing in my right ear.

Ed, I don't have a list of those
exhibits. Motion to suppress!

Granted!

He shot me in the head!

I've spoken to the resort.

I've spoken to my travel agent.
I've spoken to my priest.

This cannot be worked out.
I've canceled the vacation!

Good. Give me
my money back.

I told you this was nonrefundable.
I rarely listen to you.

This is nonrefundable.

Well then,
I'll just take a check.

And so, as much as
you'd all like to believe

that the mayor
was with a prostitute,

he was actually with me.

Are you saying that you slept
with the mayor, mrs. Flaherty?

wh-who said that?

It was that guy
in the back, mom.

- Do you have a mother?
- Yes.

- Do you have a cell phone?
- Yes.

Well, I suggest you use your
cell phone and call your mother

and ask her how she'd feel if
someone asked her that question.

I love her fire, Mike.

Not now, sir.

Here comes the plaintiff now.

Congratulations, Hank.
We were all rooting for you.

How does it feel
to be the first plaintiff

to be awarded more
than he was asking for?

Oh, I was surprised.
I really didn't think

I had as strong a case
as the judge told me I did.

The court officer's got
documents for you to sign.

- And here comes the loser.
- No questions.

You signed a contract saying
you would answer anything-

so Sue me!

Watch out for Billy,
the cameraman.

Your camera o. k.,
Billy?

What do you think is gonna happen
between you and the mayor?

Oh, I don't know.
Randall's very dear. You know?

But we live on opposite coasts,
and we're both very busy.

He's not as busy as you think.

He's very sweet, you know.
It's nice to meet a man

who is not put off
by a successful woman.

You had to go straight
to the mayor of new York?

And you know, you don't
have to talk to the mayor.

I will talk to him tomorrow.

Nah, better let me handle it.

Honey, honey, you don't
have to protect me anymore.

No, I'm protecting him.

He likes it.

Carter?

What's this?

What?
I'm swallowing my pride

and going home to spend
Thanksgiving with my family.

No. You're still
going to the Bahamas.

No!

Now, haven't
you people done enough?

We're sorry.
Have a good time with your family.

Thank you.

yes, I traded in your rooms for a
deluxe suite for myself! So Sue me!

- Suite? That's 2 bedrooms!
- Pull-out coach!

We can still make it.
Let's meet at the airport.

Bahamas, Bahamas, Bahamas...

Sit, ubu, sit.
Good dog.

moo.

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