All language subtitles for F Troop S02E18 From Karate with Love.DVDRip.NonHI.cc.en.WB_prob3

O'Rourke, are you sure
you and the troopers

can handle the
store while I'm gone?

What are you
nervous about, Janey?

You're only gonna be in
Dodge City for three days.

I got the boys
beautifully trained. Yeah.

Hi, Jane.

Hi, Wilton.

Whoop!

Look out, captain!

Oh, Wilton, are you all right?

Yes, yes, I just have a
sudden urge for a lump of sugar.

I sure do appreciate you fellows

wanting to mind my
store when you're off duty,

but I think it's a woman's job.

Oh, that's where
you're wrong, Jane.

I bet Agarn's as good
a salesman as you are.

Well, you might be able to
sell something like a saddle,

but I don't think you'd be
able to sell a corset to a lady.

It's easy Jane.

All I say is:

Now then, madame,

could I interest you in
our latest French corset?

Guaranteed to give
you that hourglass figure

with all of the sand
in the right spots.

Very good, corporal.

I'll bet you a saddle
is just as easy

to sell as a corset,

except its cinch strap
straps in a different place.

♪ Do-da, do-da ♪

Jane, my advice to you

is to take off for Dodge City
and not worry about a thing.

All right, Wilton.

Janey, please, not
in front of the men.

And I wanna thank all of
you for what you're doing.

Bye, Agarn.

Please, Janey, not
in front of the captain.

Bye, all.

Bye.

Now, men, just because
I've given permission

to help Jane out here,

I don't want anyone
neglecting his duties.

Ah, don't you worry, sir.
I've got everything organized.

Ah, there's the stage.
Vanderbilt, go get the mail.

Right, sarge.

It's your fault, sarge.

You knew he
couldn't find the door.

I... I know. I lost my head.

Captain, we got a visitor.

Honorable captain,

would like to
present humble self

who has name Miko Tanahara.

Well, I'm... I'm very pleased

t-to meet you, Miss
Tanahana-hara.

Oh! I'm terribly,
terribly sorry.

No, wait. Uh... Just one moment.

There you are.

Humbly request to allow
me protection of your fort.

You mean, you
wanna live on our fort?

Must. Humble self in danger.

Being chased by
honorable bad man.

No, no, you mean,
dishonorable bad man.

Must be polite to everyone.

Well, I'm terribly sorry,
but you can't stay at the fort.

In that case, must arrange

for humble funeral
of humble self.

Take humble leave.

Oh, captain, you've
gotta do something.

Or sh-sh-she might commit

that old Japanese
custom, hara-kiri, you know.

What? No, she can't do that.

Yeah, well...

Would like to be
buried in favorite kimono

if not too much
trouble, captain-san.

I don't want to hear
any talk about funerals.

But Miko will not be caught
alive by honorable bad man.

Well, then, I guess
I'll just have to give you

special permission
to stay on the fort.

Men, follow me with
her trunk. Vanderbilt.

Never mind, never mind.
Vanderbilt, go mind the store.

Uh, humble corporal will
please, uh, assist humble self

in removing honorable goody.

Huh?

Miko, it's humble me.

Good morning, honorable captain.

Good morning... Oh!

Oh, my.

My, you... You've done
wonders with the place.

Miko very grateful you
give up your quarters for her.

Well, i-it's not
going to be for long.

And once I give Corporal
Agarn his glass of warm milk,

it's really quite comfortable
sleeping in there with...

With him and
S-sergeant O'Rourke.

No, please. I happen
to be going steady.

Only want to make
honorable captain comfortable.

Oh, say, that's...
That's very pretty, Miko.

Here, try on.

Oh.

Sit down, please.

Well, this is very,
very... Miko, please.

Honorable captain
will find sandals

more comfortable
sitting on floor.

S-sitting on floor?

Have prepared
tea and rice for you.

Oh, uh, it's very
kind of you, Miko,

but you shouldn't have
gone to so much trouble.

Chopsticks. I've always
wanted to try them.

If honorable captain would like
Miko to show you how to use?

No, no, no, no, I'm
sure I'll get the hang of it.

Here. No, wait.
Just... I-I'll get it. Okay.

I-I'll... I'll get it.

I-I think I'd better
stick with the tea.

As you wish.

Say, that's an
interesting instrument.

In Japan, it called samisen.

Do you know, "Home
on the Range"?

No, but can play
old Japanese song.

It called, "Hitori De Ochao."

What does that
mean? "Tea for One."

Uh, captain, I wonder if we...

Ah, excuse us, we didn't
know you were busy.

No, no, no, sergeant.

Miko was just showing me
some Japanese customs.

Oh, heh.

Well, sir, we'll come back
after you've had your bath.

I can assure you, corporal,

I do not approve of the
Japanese bathing customs.

But I always say, sir,

you show me a clean body,
and I'll show you a clean towel.

Captain, we came by to see

if we could buy some of
those, uh, wonderful things

from Japan from Miko.

Now, this I like. Eh?

It's got a lion on the back.

Oh, beautiful. Beau...
Have you got that in a 46 XL?

I must have some
of those sandals,

and I've looked
everywhere for them.

But Miko's
belongings not for sale.

But, Miko, these would be great

for lounging around
the barracks at night.

But very happy to give
gifts to honorable sergeant

and honorable corporal.

Oh! Isn't that nice?

She's a sweetheart,
captain. I tell you.

And they say, "East is
East and West is West

and never the twain
shall meet." I got...

You may pick whatever you like.

The blue one, that's for me.

This is for sergeant.
This is for corporal.

Oh, thanks.

Thank you. Thank you.

Wait till they see this back
in Passaic, New Jersey.

Most welcome, sergeant.
Most welcome, corporal.

Oh, yeah. Uh...

Oh, uh, listen, uh, would
you excuse us, captain?

Oh, of course, sergeant.

Yeah. Bye, captain.

Goodbye, corporal.

Yes.

Now, let me see.
Where...? Where were we?

Oh, yes. You were
playing, "Tea for One."

Sarge, is that Miko a doll?

Oh, she sure is. I
tell you what we'll do.

We'll buy her a nice
gift out of the profits.

What profits?

Didn't I tell you?

We just went into the
oriental souvenir business.

We did? Yeah.

We're gonna go up
to the Hekawi camp

and have our friends the
Indians make us these souvenirs.

We're gonna be the first ones
to copy from the Japanese.

Here.

Hi, Wild Eagle, Crazy.

Hi, chief. Hi, Craze.

Hold it, boys.

Just inspecting new model:
souvenir bow and arrow.

Just off squaw assembly-line.

You call that bow and arrow?

Sorry, chief. You just
happened to get lemon.

Come on, chief, forget
the bows and arrows.

Forget nothing!

Can't understand it.

These bows and
arrows are terrible.

Can't even sell
them for seconds.

Ow!

You see, chief. You
can't break that one.

Oh, no?

Now it breaks.

Chief, forget bows and arrows.

We got a whole
new line of souvenirs

for your tribe to make.

Kimonos, sandals, parasols.

Kimonos, sandals, parasols?

That's right, chief.

Now, we're retooling
your squaws.

Here you go. Ah,
now, that is a fan.

The ladies use it
in the summertime

to keep themselves cool.

And also for... flirting.

Ah, here now, I want
you to look at this.

That very beautiful.

Where you get all
these things, sergeant?

From a far-off
place called Japan.

That's right. We got
'em from a Japanese girl

living over at the fort.

She gave us all this
stuff. Here, try this on.

Me? That look like
something for squaw.

Over there, everybody
wears these things.

If all wear those,
how can you tell

difference between
braves and squaws?

You don't have to worry
about Japanese men.

They got some
very tough warriors.

They're called, uh, samurai.

Me like to try on kimono.

Me chief. Me try on kimono.

Ah, here. Here.

There we go, chief.

Now just look at this.

Now, chief, you look stunning.

Yes, isn't that beautiful?

Mmm!

Never feel anything
like this before.

So soft.

Let me feel.

Ooh, what is this made of?

Worms.

You had to ask that.

Now, look, I want you to
get your squaws started

on reproducing all
these things right away.

Well, it not gonna be easy.

Must go all the way
down to river for worms.

Craze, you don't understand.

You don't have the
right kinda worms here.

That's right. Look, we'll send
you up a lot of cotton material.

Come on, Agarn, we
gotta get back to the fort.

Here, chief. Parasol.

It protects you from the sun.

Oh, good idea, Agarn.

Every summer, me
tired of being redskin.

All right, come on, Agarn!

So long, fellows.

Oh... Look, chief.
Topless moccasins.

Look very comfortable.

Why you not try them on, chief?

All right.

How it feel?

Oh! Just my size.

Ten and a half, D.

Who are you? Me samurai.

This is Chief Wild Eagle

and I'm his
assistant, Crazy Cat.

You from Japan?

Yes. I'm looking
for Japanese girl.

Thought you were her.

They got to do something
about these kimonos.

Hiding girl here?

We not hiding girl here.

Whoever hiding
girl, samurai kill.

We not know anything
about Japanese girl.

You lie.

And you not tell
me where to find her,

I give you karate chop.

Heard of lamb chop and pork
chop but never heard of karate chop.

Me show you.

Agh!

That's what I call a chop.

To get to Fort Courage

you take the first road
as you leave the camp.

You make a right turn at
the rock that looks like a bear.

Then make a left turn at
the bear that looks like a rock.

I'm sure glad that Miko taught
us how to use chopsticks.

It, uh, makes eating
more of a challenge.

That Miko, she
sure is a doll, sarge.

Yeah, she sure is.

She takes better care of
the captain than his mother.

She sure does, sarge.

What are you doing
eating with one chopstick?

Well, I'm on a diet, sarge.

Uh-oh. Look.

Well, that's Janey.

She's not due back till Friday.

I know. And if she sees,
uh, Miko with the captain,

she might get the wrong idea.

Come on, let's get outta here.

Hey, Janey, Janey girl,
wel... Wel... Welcome home.

Boy, are we glad to see you.

Well, it's nice to be back.

Hey, a new outfit, huh?

No. How's Wilton?

Oh, he's fine,
fine. Fine, fine, fine.

Little tired today. He's
been out scouting Indians.

But will he be happy
to see you tonight.

Oh, tonight. Yes.

Now, how could he
be out scouting Indians

when his horse is tied up there?

Ah, well, you see...

He's out on another horse.

He's out on another
horse. That's it.

Another horse? That's right.

His horse is lame. That's it.

Not as lame as this
excuse you're giving me.

Wait, wait, wait, Janey!

Don't you want us to tell
you how your store went?

All the things we
sold... After I see Wilton.

Hi, Jane.

Jane.

Now I know why
O'Rourke and Agarn

didn't want me to come in here.

No. Now, Jane, you've
got this all wrong now.

This is Miko Tanahara
from Yokohama,

a-and she's being
chased by a man.

I can see that, Wilton.

No, you don't understand.

See, we're giving her
protection of the fort

as sort of hands across the sea.

I can see that too.

Jane.

Now I know why you
didn't want me to go in there.

Hold it, hold it, Jane.

O'Rourke is reading
smoke signals.

It's from Wild Eagle.
We got trouble.

You've got trouble,
what about me?

Jane, you've got
to let me explain.

Please, captain.

Sergeant O'Rourke is
reading smoke. See that?

"Samurai warrior come
to get Japanese girl.

"If not get her,

knock down fort and
kill all men in F Troop."

What does that last
puff of smoke say?

Uh. "S-sayonara."

This all my fault.

Samurai is honorable bad
man who is chasing me.

Why'd you run away from him?

Not run away. Never
even met samurai.

Well, why is he chasing you?

Me running away from
house of honorable father

who send samurai
to bring me back.

Why don't you wanna
go back to Japan?

If go back, must go through

with marriage honorable
father has arranged

with a man I do not love.

Oh, sarge.

That's the saddest
thing I ever heard.

That's terrible.

No father should arrange
a marriage for his daughter.

Unless of course, my father
arranged one with you, Wilton.

Janey, please, not
in front of the men

or strangers from Japan.

Captain, I got an idea.

Janey, you take her and
hide her in your quarters.

Duffy!

Yeah, what is it, sarge?

Close that gate and
don't let anybody in.

Right. Duddleson, shut the gate.

Sergeant, what good is
closing the gate going to do?

Maybe if we all pretend
we're asleep, he'll go away.

Yeah, yeah, you
see, sir, I think at least

we oughta buy a little time.

Well, maybe you're
right, sergeant.

Open up gate.

The gate is closed for the day.

I warn you. Open up gate!

I said, the gate is
closed for the day.

What's wrong with a
prearranged marriage?

Stall him, captain.
I got a plan.

I hope your plan is
better than his plan.

You honorable
commander of this fort?

That's right.

Me samurai warrior from Japan.

Ask that you turn over to
me Japanese girl hiding here.

Uh, well, first of all,

I think we ought
to discuss that gate.

Gate? That's right.

Uh, inasmuch as
it was slightly used,

I think a fair price
would be, oh, $11.

Or roughly 40 yen.

We talk about gate later.

Where is Japanese girl?

I'll tell you what.

I'll make a deal with you.

Uh, you forget about the girl,
and we'll forget about the gate.

I warn you, captain,

I did not come
here to play games.

Now you owe us
for a hitching rail.

This is last time, captain.

I ask you give up the girl.

Look, Mr. Samurai,

we do things
differently over here.

This is a free country,

and we believe that
no one has the right

to run anyone else's life.

And when we marry,
we marry for love.

Yeah. Put that in your
ricksha and see how you like it.

Yeah, uh, captain.

Sergeant, you shouldn't
bring her out here

in front of that samurai.

It's me, Wilton.

Good thinking, sergeant.
Sarge, you're beautiful.

Uh, beg of you to speak English

so as not to be rude
to honorable friends.

Have been sent by
your honorable father

to bring you back to Japan.

I go willingly.

But first, must be
polite to kind friends

and have farewell
dinner tonight.

You may have dinner.

But we leave first
thing in morning.

Uh, captain, shall I
play "Retreat" now?

Uh, in a few minutes, Dobbs.

Right, captain.

Well, Jane, you sure
look nice in Miko's outfit.

Jane? Who Jane?
She not Japanese girl?

Oh, no, don't listen to him.

Yeah, well, all right.

All that bugling has
loosened his brain, you see.

You try to fool samurai.
This not Japanese girl!

Of course this is Miko.
Jane has bow legs.

Who has bow legs, Agarn?!

Now, now, wait a
minute, wait a minute.

Look, there's Japanese
girl. I know her anywhere.

Get him, Agarn.

Can I help you, ladies?

We're still running our special
on imported French corsets.

It's me, Vanderbilt.

Oh, hi, O'Rourke.

Never mind, Vanderbilt.

Here, you get in
the backroom, Miko,

I'll take care of the samurai.

Why, it's Captain Parmenter.

Vanderbilt, just stand aside.
There might be some trouble.

If you not turn girl over
now, samurai kill you.

Over my dead body.

Who is she, captain?

Never mind, Vanderbilt.

You don't scare me.

She's a he.

Get out of way.

Better stay out
of this, Vanderbilt.

Don't worry,
captain. I'll get him.

Two can play this
game, Mr. Samurai.

I'll get him this time, captain.

Please, Vanderbilt,
I can handle this.

Agh!

Ha! All right. All right. Now,
stand right where you are.

Go ahead and shoot, sergeant.
Samurai honor at stake.

Would rather die than go
back to Japan without girl.

Oh, never mind, men. Never
mind. I can take care of him.

Hook him up. Hook
him up. That's the way.

Good thinking, sergeant.

Thank you, sir.

How much is the postage
to send him to Japan?

Jane, I want you to make a list

of everything that
he's broken here,

and we'll add that to the bill

for the hitching
rail and the gate.

Captain.

Please, Captain Parmenter,
beg you to release samurai.

Why do you want me to do that?

Miko has caused
all much trouble.

Will now obey honorable
father and return to Japan.

You sure that's
what you want, Miko?

That's not what
I want, sergeant.

But it is best for all of us.

In that case, take
off his corset, men.

When you want start
journey back to Japan?

Never.

But I must return.

Marry man of my father's choice.

Things different over here.

Free country.

No one has right
to run person's life.

When marry,
should marry for love.

Is that what you going to tell
my father when you see him?

Miko, I... I have an idea

that he's not gonna
go back to Japan either.

That would please Miko greatly.

Oh, Wilton, it's love at
first sight. Just like us.

Jane, please, I've told you.
Not in front of a samurai.

Congratulations. You're
getting a wonderful girl.

Agh!

I want to thank all
of you for everything.

Ah, you're gonna make

a very pretty
pioneer girl, Miko.

And get a load of
the Sukiyaki Kid.

Here we go.

Now listen, remember,
you can't use chopsticks

on beef a-and pork
chops and things like that.

You gotta learn how
to use a knife and fork.

All right? There we
go. There we are.

Good luck to you now.

Thanks. Bye.

Ho.

Goodbye.

Honorable captain.

Honorable tea's ready.

Uh, excuse me, gentlemen.

Yes, sir.