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1
00:00:10,608 --> 00:00:14,481
("It's the Most Wonderful
Time of the Year"
by Andy Williams playing)
2
00:00:15,216 --> 00:00:16,285
(door opens)
3
00:00:16,318 --> 00:00:18,323
(indistinct arguing)
4
00:00:18,356 --> 00:00:19,458
DONNA:
Come on, guys, stop!
5
00:00:19,491 --> 00:00:20,694
(door closes)
6
00:00:21,930 --> 00:00:23,500
-MIKEY: Hey.
-Hi.
7
00:00:23,534 --> 00:00:24,736
MIKEY:
You okay, buddy?
8
00:00:24,769 --> 00:00:26,105
-Yeah.
-MIKEY: Yeah?
9
00:00:26,472 --> 00:00:27,575
-SUGAR: Hmm.
-Yeah.
10
00:00:32,652 --> 00:00:33,787
(sighs)
11
00:00:35,357 --> 00:00:37,695
-I love you, bear.
-I love you, too, bear.
12
00:00:40,935 --> 00:00:43,340
Maybe just, like,
13
00:00:43,373 --> 00:00:45,176
like, don't do it to yourself?
14
00:00:47,214 --> 00:00:49,552
(sighs)
It's not like I'm trying to.
15
00:00:50,654 --> 00:00:53,493
But, you know,
when you do that,
it just kinda, like...
16
00:00:53,526 --> 00:00:55,230
does it to all of us?
17
00:00:55,263 --> 00:00:56,900
-Michael.
-Natalie.
18
00:00:58,403 --> 00:01:00,741
Just don't ask her.
19
00:01:01,943 --> 00:01:03,413
It's not like I wanna ask her.
20
00:01:03,446 --> 00:01:05,651
I know, I know,
but it's that thing, you know.
21
00:01:06,953 --> 00:01:08,557
You ask somebody
if they're okay,
22
00:01:08,590 --> 00:01:10,861
they immediately start thinking
they're not acting okay...
23
00:01:11,596 --> 00:01:14,702
and that immediately makes them
start not acting okay.
24
00:01:16,973 --> 00:01:19,345
No one can make anyone else
act a certain way.
25
00:01:19,378 --> 00:01:20,547
(Mikey laughs)
26
00:01:21,950 --> 00:01:23,788
Okay.
27
00:01:23,821 --> 00:01:25,625
-Remember last year?
-MIKEY: Hmm.
28
00:01:25,658 --> 00:01:27,595
-And the year before?
-Yeah.
29
00:01:27,628 --> 00:01:28,697
So I'm not fucking crazy.
30
00:01:28,730 --> 00:01:30,768
Nobody thinks you're crazy.
Nobody's saying that.
31
00:01:30,801 --> 00:01:31,636
Well, she is.
32
00:01:31,670 --> 00:01:33,472
Yeah, she's fuckin'
out of her mind.
33
00:01:34,843 --> 00:01:37,514
And here I am,
just fucking in the middle
34
00:01:37,548 --> 00:01:40,353
because you're you
and Carmy's Carmy.
35
00:01:40,386 --> 00:01:43,861
MIKEY:
Okay, so then, just,
you know, let us handle it.
36
00:01:43,894 --> 00:01:45,798
-You won't handle it.
-MIKEY: No, we won't. Exactly.
37
00:01:45,831 --> 00:01:46,900
That's my point.
38
00:01:46,933 --> 00:01:48,771
With her, not handling it,
39
00:01:48,804 --> 00:01:50,541
it's the best way to handle it.
40
00:01:51,409 --> 00:01:52,912
I mean, where do you think
she's at right now?
41
00:01:52,945 --> 00:01:55,417
What, like at a four?
A five?
42
00:01:55,450 --> 00:01:56,787
She's not at a six, right?
43
00:01:56,820 --> 00:01:58,389
Hmm. No.
44
00:01:58,924 --> 00:02:01,563
I've heard you ask her
three times tonight
if she's alright.
45
00:02:01,596 --> 00:02:03,834
You don't have to ask her
every ten minutes if she's okay.
46
00:02:03,867 --> 00:02:04,936
That's not gonna help anything.
47
00:02:04,969 --> 00:02:06,272
Do you know how much
I would love
48
00:02:06,305 --> 00:02:07,441
to feel like I didn't
have to ask her?
49
00:02:07,474 --> 00:02:08,778
I bet you would
love that very, very much.
50
00:02:08,811 --> 00:02:09,980
-Yes, a lot.
-Yeah. Yeah.
51
00:02:10,013 --> 00:02:11,382
-I would love it a lot.
-I'm sure.
52
00:02:11,415 --> 00:02:12,384
(indistinct chatter)
53
00:02:12,417 --> 00:02:13,519
Hey, you guys call me?
54
00:02:13,854 --> 00:02:15,858
No, I just said you're you.
55
00:02:15,891 --> 00:02:17,829
Hey, hey, Mikey, can you come
inside and be you real quick?
56
00:02:17,862 --> 00:02:18,998
I don't know how to deal
with these people.
57
00:02:19,031 --> 00:02:20,333
Yeah, I'll be right there.
58
00:02:20,366 --> 00:02:22,237
(indistinct arguing)
59
00:02:23,974 --> 00:02:25,343
(clears throat)
Let me see.
60
00:02:25,376 --> 00:02:26,445
Thanks.
61
00:02:27,849 --> 00:02:29,953
-(Fak yelling indistinctly)
-Yo.
62
00:02:29,986 --> 00:02:31,623
Is this some family shit
I should know about?
63
00:02:31,656 --> 00:02:32,725
SUGAR: No, it is not.
64
00:02:32,758 --> 00:02:34,294
Give us a second,
alright, cousin?
65
00:02:35,598 --> 00:02:36,532
RICHIE: Alright.
66
00:02:42,845 --> 00:02:44,414
Happy you're home, bear.
67
00:02:48,924 --> 00:02:50,393
Would it kill you
to pick up the phone?
68
00:02:52,932 --> 00:02:53,934
Carm.
69
00:02:54,836 --> 00:02:56,438
I'm happy you're home.
70
00:02:59,946 --> 00:03:00,848
Okay?
71
00:03:05,958 --> 00:03:07,962
I'm not gonna ask
if she's okay.
72
00:03:08,396 --> 00:03:09,766
-That's good.
-Yeah.
73
00:03:09,799 --> 00:03:11,870
Yeah.
74
00:03:11,903 --> 00:03:12,972
Carm, will you handle Mom?
75
00:03:13,005 --> 00:03:14,375
Yeah. I'll handle her.
76
00:03:14,408 --> 00:03:15,443
SUGAR: Mikey, them?
77
00:03:15,476 --> 00:03:16,546
I'm gonna handle 'em.
78
00:03:17,648 --> 00:03:19,251
Our Mother of Victory.
79
00:03:19,819 --> 00:03:20,888
Pray for us.
80
00:03:20,921 --> 00:03:24,595
("All Alone on Christmas"
by Darlene Love playing)
81
00:03:33,112 --> 00:03:35,450
Carol, What would you
like me to do with this?
82
00:03:35,483 --> 00:03:36,687
Bend over and I'll show ya.
83
00:03:36,720 --> 00:03:37,822
Well, it's fuckin' burning me.
84
00:03:37,855 --> 00:03:39,325
Hey, new person, take this.
85
00:03:39,358 --> 00:03:41,095
It's Steven, you met me
a million times.
86
00:03:41,128 --> 00:03:42,732
Come on, Lee,
you met him a million times.
87
00:03:42,765 --> 00:03:43,934
-Lee, I'm not touching it.
-LEE: Jimmy!
88
00:03:43,967 --> 00:03:46,372
Tell, tell Carol
to stop shouting at me.
89
00:03:46,405 --> 00:03:47,675
Bro, why are you yelling?
90
00:03:47,708 --> 00:03:48,911
You ever been burned
with a fuckin' Dutch oven?
91
00:03:48,944 --> 00:03:49,846
Here, Sugar, take this.
92
00:03:49,879 --> 00:03:51,082
Fuck, I don't wanna take this.
93
00:03:51,115 --> 00:03:52,952
Oh, you're so tough,
I'll lay you out.
94
00:03:52,985 --> 00:03:54,522
Hey, are you gonna lay me out?
95
00:03:54,556 --> 00:03:55,892
Is that, like,
what you're gonna do?
96
00:03:55,925 --> 00:03:57,996
Enough.
Way to handle them, Mikey.
97
00:03:58,029 --> 00:04:01,002
♪ I get a little lonely
every year around this time ♪
98
00:04:01,035 --> 00:04:04,709
♪ The music plays
all night in Little Italy ♪
99
00:04:04,742 --> 00:04:08,884
♪ The lights will be going up
on old Rockafella's tree ♪
100
00:04:09,418 --> 00:04:12,825
♪ People window shoppin'
on Fifth Avenue ♪
101
00:04:12,858 --> 00:04:15,598
♪ All I want
for Christmas is you ♪
102
00:04:15,631 --> 00:04:17,735
♪ I've gotta know ♪
103
00:04:18,704 --> 00:04:22,745
♪ Where do lonely hearts go? ♪
104
00:04:23,780 --> 00:04:24,983
(vocalizing)
105
00:04:25,016 --> 00:04:27,054
♪ Nobody ought to be ♪
106
00:04:27,087 --> 00:04:29,959
♪ All alone on Christmas ♪
107
00:04:32,832 --> 00:04:35,737
♪ Things are different
since you've been here last ♪
108
00:04:36,238 --> 00:04:39,713
♪ Childhood dreaming
is a thing of the past ♪
109
00:04:39,746 --> 00:04:40,715
I believe that I have
the greatest
110
00:04:40,748 --> 00:04:42,150
financial opportunity
that you've ever heard.
111
00:04:42,183 --> 00:04:44,121
TED:
Baseball cards are back.
112
00:04:44,154 --> 00:04:45,992
-I'm telling you, money.
We're making cash...
-FAK: We got a whole box.
113
00:04:46,025 --> 00:04:48,029
All we need is $500
to buy a box.
114
00:04:48,062 --> 00:04:50,467
My eBay is lit up.
Notifications. Alerts.
115
00:04:50,500 --> 00:04:51,469
(overlapping chatter)
116
00:04:51,502 --> 00:04:52,538
Can I stop you one second?
117
00:04:52,571 --> 00:04:53,674
-TED: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
-FAK: Yes.
118
00:04:53,707 --> 00:04:54,910
How many fucking Faks
are there?
119
00:04:54,943 --> 00:04:56,747
Well, there's Kenny
and Sammy and Susan,
120
00:04:56,780 --> 00:04:58,116
and then Frank, Francie,
121
00:04:58,149 --> 00:04:59,586
-and then there's Doug.
-TED: A good amount of us.
122
00:04:59,619 --> 00:05:00,955
-Gary.
-A lot. Okay.
Back to the pitch.
123
00:05:00,988 --> 00:05:02,792
Listen, no, back to the pitch.
We got, we got, we got,
124
00:05:02,825 --> 00:05:03,961
we got Ken Griffey.
125
00:05:03,994 --> 00:05:05,063
FAK:
There's Lenny Dykstra.
126
00:05:05,096 --> 00:05:06,465
TED: We got,
you know, Jay Buhner.
127
00:05:06,498 --> 00:05:08,002
We got Vance Law.
128
00:05:08,035 --> 00:05:09,471
-Oh, my God.
-TED: Yeah.
129
00:05:09,504 --> 00:05:10,808
Tell me you got
Mickey fuckin' Morandini.
130
00:05:10,841 --> 00:05:12,578
Of course! Of course we do.
131
00:05:12,611 --> 00:05:13,847
-They're all in the box!
-(overlapping chatter)
132
00:05:13,880 --> 00:05:15,483
But we need, we need $500.
133
00:05:15,516 --> 00:05:16,620
-You've got Morandini?
-FAK: $500.
134
00:05:16,653 --> 00:05:18,022
-Yeah!
-TED: We've got Morandini.
135
00:05:18,055 --> 00:05:19,693
-We need $500.
-TED: Copy and paste.
136
00:05:19,726 --> 00:05:22,699
To turn into $1,500
137
00:05:22,732 --> 00:05:24,134
-within a couple months.
-TED: Couple months.
138
00:05:24,167 --> 00:05:25,136
-Time out.
-TED: Yeah, yeah.
139
00:05:25,169 --> 00:05:26,707
Hold this so I can slap ya.
140
00:05:26,740 --> 00:05:28,443
Stupidest fuckin' idea
I ever heard.
141
00:05:28,476 --> 00:05:30,848
Merry Christmas.
142
00:05:30,881 --> 00:05:32,919
-Do you think he's in?
-Do you think he's in?
143
00:05:32,952 --> 00:05:34,589
Was that a business slap?
144
00:05:34,622 --> 00:05:36,158
BOTH: Yeah.
145
00:05:39,866 --> 00:05:41,837
♪ Merry Christmas ♪
146
00:05:41,870 --> 00:05:46,445
♪ I don't want
to fight tonight ♪
147
00:05:47,113 --> 00:05:49,953
-(ringing)
-Ma.
148
00:05:49,986 --> 00:05:51,521
DONNA: Carmen.
149
00:05:51,956 --> 00:05:53,226
I'm spilling shit everywhere.
150
00:05:53,259 --> 00:05:54,829
And I'm behind on the lobster.
151
00:05:54,862 --> 00:05:55,864
Carmen, I have a question.
152
00:05:55,897 --> 00:05:59,038
Is cousin Michelle's friend
Steven, is he gay?
153
00:05:59,071 --> 00:06:00,440
CARMY:
Is who gay? Ma. Ma, Ma, Ma.
154
00:06:00,473 --> 00:06:01,508
Why are you doing
the seven fishes thing?
155
00:06:01,543 --> 00:06:02,545
-Nobody ever eats this shit.
-DONNA: No, no, no.
156
00:06:02,578 --> 00:06:04,683
Steven, is he gay?
I mean, he seems kinda gay.
157
00:06:04,716 --> 00:06:05,818
You know, he's arty and...
158
00:06:05,851 --> 00:06:06,820
I mean,
I love him and everything,
159
00:06:06,853 --> 00:06:07,955
but he's gay, I think.
160
00:06:07,988 --> 00:06:08,924
And it's tradition.
161
00:06:08,957 --> 00:06:10,060
It's tradition that he's gay?
162
00:06:10,093 --> 00:06:12,064
DONNA:
No. The seven fishes.
163
00:06:12,097 --> 00:06:13,232
What the fuck do you think
I've been doing this
164
00:06:13,265 --> 00:06:14,736
since 4:00 this morning for?
165
00:06:14,769 --> 00:06:16,573
Okay. Ma, hey, how can I help?
166
00:06:16,606 --> 00:06:18,076
DONNA:
Uh, you can fix the forks.
167
00:06:18,109 --> 00:06:20,881
Um, I just need
some olives for the drinks.
168
00:06:20,914 --> 00:06:22,818
I'm not gonna touch nothing.
169
00:06:23,119 --> 00:06:26,025
Oh, my God.
What smells so good?
170
00:06:26,058 --> 00:06:27,562
-Oh, my God.
-DONNA: That'd be me.
171
00:06:27,595 --> 00:06:28,262
-CICERO: Is it you?
-Check.
172
00:06:28,295 --> 00:06:29,264
Come here.
173
00:06:29,297 --> 00:06:30,868
-Oh, it is you.
-(chuckles)
174
00:06:30,901 --> 00:06:32,037
-Hey. Hey.
-How are you?
175
00:06:32,070 --> 00:06:33,741
-What's for dessert?
-No, no, no, no.
176
00:06:33,774 --> 00:06:34,976
You brought the cake.
177
00:06:35,009 --> 00:06:36,112
Get the fuck out.
178
00:06:36,145 --> 00:06:37,681
(mumbles)
179
00:06:39,251 --> 00:06:40,854
-MAN: Hey, there.
-DONNA: Yeah.
180
00:06:42,157 --> 00:06:43,192
-Hey, Carmen.
-CARMY: Yeah.
181
00:06:43,225 --> 00:06:44,194
DONNA:
Stop giving me shit about it.
182
00:06:44,227 --> 00:06:45,564
CARMY: What? What?
183
00:06:45,597 --> 00:06:46,700
I'm just trying
to do a nice thing, honey.
184
00:06:46,733 --> 00:06:48,704
Just-just stop, like,
fucking with it.
185
00:06:48,737 --> 00:06:50,040
Alright. alright.
Forget it. Yeah.
-DONNA: Just do it.
186
00:06:50,073 --> 00:06:51,543
-Mrs. B, are our
skateboards in here?
-DONNA: No!
187
00:06:51,576 --> 00:06:52,545
No, no, no, no, no, no!
188
00:06:52,578 --> 00:06:54,148
-Faks, out, out, out.
-TED: What's up, Carm?
189
00:06:54,181 --> 00:06:55,684
Michael said that our
skateboards were in here.
190
00:06:55,717 --> 00:06:57,254
-How you doing, Ma?
-Out, out.
191
00:06:57,287 --> 00:06:58,523
This is a delicate operation.
192
00:06:58,557 --> 00:07:00,093
Big Neil
got us skateboards.
193
00:07:00,126 --> 00:07:02,064
You make me hot.
You make me very hot.
194
00:07:02,097 --> 00:07:03,734
Do you think
that we can sleepover--
195
00:07:03,767 --> 00:07:05,070
There's no sleepovers
at Christmas.
What the fuck?
196
00:07:05,103 --> 00:07:05,938
FAK:
No, we can sleepover.
197
00:07:05,972 --> 00:07:07,274
No, you can't sleepover
on Christmas.
198
00:07:07,307 --> 00:07:08,577
-No. Mm-mmm.
-FAK: No? No.
199
00:07:08,610 --> 00:07:09,511
Big Neil
got us skateboards.
200
00:07:09,545 --> 00:07:10,581
You know what? Shut up.
201
00:07:10,614 --> 00:07:12,017
-Michael!
-Michael hid 'em.
202
00:07:12,050 --> 00:07:13,887
Hey, Michael.
Get in here. Mike?
203
00:07:13,920 --> 00:07:15,190
-FAK: Mike.
-The Faks are asking me
stupid things--
204
00:07:15,223 --> 00:07:16,727
-Ma, are you good?
-CARMY: Yeah, yeah, we're good.
205
00:07:16,760 --> 00:07:17,695
-Ma, you--
-CARMY: Hey, hey, hey.
206
00:07:17,729 --> 00:07:19,131
Can you, uh, can you
grab some paper towels
207
00:07:19,164 --> 00:07:20,534
from the garage, Sug?
208
00:07:20,567 --> 00:07:22,070
(overlapping chatter)
209
00:07:22,103 --> 00:07:23,907
-Yo, Mike, what's up?
-(chatter continues)
210
00:07:23,940 --> 00:07:24,975
-FAK: How you doing?
-TED: What's up, Mike?
211
00:07:25,009 --> 00:07:26,847
-Yo, what's up, Mike?
-You're like a grown man,
212
00:07:26,880 --> 00:07:28,249
why are you looking
for a fuckin' skateboard?
213
00:07:28,282 --> 00:07:29,552
-I got a little side hustle.
-MIKEY: Do me a favor.
214
00:07:29,585 --> 00:07:30,921
Go get some ice
from the garage.
215
00:07:30,954 --> 00:07:32,224
-On it.
-DONNA: Okay.
What was I doing?
216
00:07:32,257 --> 00:07:33,660
-Okay.
-DONNA: Wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait.
217
00:07:33,693 --> 00:07:34,728
Where's the cake?
218
00:07:34,762 --> 00:07:36,767
-Where's the cake?
-It's defrosting, Ma, it's fine.
219
00:07:36,800 --> 00:07:38,069
-MIKEY: Ma, why don't
you let him help you?
-Okay. Okay.
220
00:07:38,102 --> 00:07:39,238
MIKEY:
It's all he fucking does.
221
00:07:39,271 --> 00:07:40,641
-He'd be great.
-What was that?
222
00:07:40,674 --> 00:07:41,777
What was that?
Like a, that was a shot or...
223
00:07:41,810 --> 00:07:42,879
Mikey, he is helping me.
Back off.
224
00:07:42,912 --> 00:07:43,914
-Is that a shot?
-CARMY: What? Yeah.
225
00:07:43,947 --> 00:07:45,083
I'm the guy that does food.
226
00:07:45,116 --> 00:07:46,152
You're the guy that what?
You-you, uh...
227
00:07:46,185 --> 00:07:47,789
You start
100 different businesses
228
00:07:47,822 --> 00:07:49,024
and have zero follow-through.
229
00:07:49,058 --> 00:07:50,594
-DONNA: Carmen, I need you
to check the branzino.
-Wow.
230
00:07:50,627 --> 00:07:52,063
I feel like
that was a shot, Carm.
231
00:07:52,096 --> 00:07:53,734
Okay, this is why, this is why
I didn't wanna come home.
232
00:07:53,767 --> 00:07:55,336
-This is why.
-Fuck you.
233
00:07:55,369 --> 00:07:57,708
-What the fuck? What?
-Why the fuck
would you say that?
234
00:07:57,741 --> 00:07:59,211
It's fuckin' Christmas.
Why would you say
you didn't wanna come back?
235
00:07:59,244 --> 00:08:00,313
Whatever, okay? Whatever.
236
00:08:00,346 --> 00:08:01,650
-MIKEY: Whatever. Okay.
-(ringing)
237
00:08:01,683 --> 00:08:03,152
We're very happy
you're home, Carm.
238
00:08:03,185 --> 00:08:04,889
-DONNA: Yes, we are.
-We're all very
fucking proud of you.
239
00:08:04,922 --> 00:08:06,827
-We all really fuckin' love you.
-I'm not a fuckin' baby.
240
00:08:06,860 --> 00:08:08,764
Then stop being
a fuckin' pussy
and say the words.
241
00:08:08,797 --> 00:08:10,701
-Stop being a pussy.
Just say the fuckin' words.
-DONNA: Say the words.
242
00:08:10,734 --> 00:08:12,104
-Carmen, come on.
-Just say the words.
243
00:08:12,137 --> 00:08:13,238
DONNA: Just say it.
244
00:08:15,209 --> 00:08:16,813
-I love you.
-DONNA: (grunts) Ohh!
245
00:08:16,846 --> 00:08:18,984
-MIKEY: Thank you. Thank you.
-DONNA: Thank you.
246
00:08:19,017 --> 00:08:20,988
-Thank you.
-DONNA: Okay.
247
00:08:21,021 --> 00:08:22,758
So happy the bear's home.
248
00:08:22,791 --> 00:08:24,996
DONNA: Yes, I'm happy.
Come here. I am happy.
249
00:08:25,029 --> 00:08:26,064
-Hi. Yeah. Okay.
-DONNA: Happy, happy.
250
00:08:26,098 --> 00:08:28,102
-CARMY: Thank you.
-You know, it's nice he's back.
251
00:08:28,135 --> 00:08:29,070
We get him only once a year.
252
00:08:29,104 --> 00:08:31,776
-CARMY: Mom.
-DONNA: He's too fancy for us.
253
00:08:32,244 --> 00:08:33,847
Okay, Carmen,
I need you to pay attention.
254
00:08:34,248 --> 00:08:35,918
-CARMY: Yeah, yeah.
-Alright? No, come here.
255
00:08:35,951 --> 00:08:37,688
-CARMY: What?
-So when that timer goes off...
256
00:08:37,721 --> 00:08:39,258
-Uh-huh.
-...I need you to remember
257
00:08:39,291 --> 00:08:40,828
to put the Rockefellers in,
258
00:08:40,861 --> 00:08:43,366
um, and-and take out
the artichokes,
259
00:08:43,399 --> 00:08:44,702
which leaves an open oven.
260
00:08:44,735 --> 00:08:46,205
Stop doing something
and just listen.
261
00:08:46,238 --> 00:08:47,608
CARMY: Okay. Alright,
I hear you, I hear you.
262
00:08:47,641 --> 00:08:48,911
-What was I saying?
-CARMY: What? What?
263
00:08:48,944 --> 00:08:50,848
We were saying we gotta
free up one of the slots
264
00:08:50,881 --> 00:08:52,117
-in the oven, right? Yes. Okay.
-DONNA: Right, oven slot.
265
00:08:52,150 --> 00:08:53,787
So then, we take
the artichokes out.
266
00:08:53,820 --> 00:08:56,358
So then I need you to put
the branzino on the top
267
00:08:56,391 --> 00:08:57,728
and let it broil
and just get that
268
00:08:57,761 --> 00:08:59,231
nice little crispy bit on top.
269
00:08:59,264 --> 00:09:01,135
-Uh-huh.
-And then I need to remember
to set this timer back
270
00:09:01,168 --> 00:09:03,674
to two minutes
to drop the lobsters back in.
271
00:09:03,707 --> 00:09:05,243
And then when that goes off,
272
00:09:05,276 --> 00:09:06,880
I need you
to take the branzino out.
273
00:09:06,913 --> 00:09:08,984
And-and don't forget
to stir the gravy.
274
00:09:09,017 --> 00:09:11,255
-Oh, my God.
-Why? What do we got gravy for?
275
00:09:11,288 --> 00:09:13,125
Because nobody gets this shit.
276
00:09:13,158 --> 00:09:15,798
That was unpleasant.
I threw up all over my sweater.
277
00:09:15,831 --> 00:09:16,933
Is it okay
I borrowed your robe?
278
00:09:16,967 --> 00:09:18,737
-DONNA: Oh, of course.
You know what?
-I'm sorry.
279
00:09:18,770 --> 00:09:20,073
DONNA:
It looks so pretty on you.
You should keep it.
280
00:09:20,106 --> 00:09:21,810
-Oh, you're so sweet.
-No, no, no. Seriously.
281
00:09:21,843 --> 00:09:23,045
-Hi, Carm. hi, hi.
-CARMY: Hi, Tiff.
282
00:09:23,078 --> 00:09:24,214
-Hi. How are you?
-How you doing? You okay?
283
00:09:24,247 --> 00:09:25,282
I mean,
I'm puking everywhere.
284
00:09:25,316 --> 00:09:26,819
But I'm alright. I'm pregnant.
Do you know this?
285
00:09:26,853 --> 00:09:29,024
-CARMY: Yeah, yeah.
Congratulations. I know.
-We're having a baby. Thank you.
286
00:09:29,057 --> 00:09:30,393
-She is not alright.
-Why?
287
00:09:30,426 --> 00:09:31,863
-TIFF: What? I mean...
-She is throwing up.
288
00:09:31,896 --> 00:09:34,201
Get her some Brioschi.
I mean... You know what?
289
00:09:34,234 --> 00:09:35,905
Hey, Ri, Ri.
290
00:09:35,938 --> 00:09:37,675
-Get your fucking ass in here.
-RICHIE: What?
291
00:09:37,708 --> 00:09:39,444
DONNA: Get Tiff
some Brioschi right now.
292
00:09:39,477 --> 00:09:41,081
-Oh, my God. What's going on?
-That's it, that's it, I got it.
293
00:09:41,114 --> 00:09:42,383
-TIFF: How was Ireland?
-Uh, Copenhagen.
294
00:09:42,416 --> 00:09:44,421
-TIFF: Oh, sorry.
Where is Copenhagen?
-Yeah. Sorry, sorry.
295
00:09:44,454 --> 00:09:45,824
-CARMY: Huh?
-TIFF: Where's Copenhagen?
296
00:09:45,857 --> 00:09:46,792
RICHIE:
Aunt Deedee,
297
00:09:46,826 --> 00:09:49,131
why are you
screaming at me
like a maniac?
298
00:09:49,164 --> 00:09:51,035
Why are you screaming at me
like a maniac?
299
00:09:51,068 --> 00:09:52,437
-DONNA: Stop tickling me!
-RICHIE: Wh... (laughs)
300
00:09:52,470 --> 00:09:53,874
DONNA: Stop it right now!
301
00:09:53,907 --> 00:09:55,443
RICHIE: Why are you
screaming like a maniac?
302
00:09:55,476 --> 00:09:57,214
-I'm right here.
-You know. You know
I'm really ticklish.
303
00:09:57,247 --> 00:09:58,182
-RICHIE: Alright, alright.
-Stop.
304
00:09:58,215 --> 00:09:59,184
CARMY:
Watch out. Watch out.
305
00:09:59,217 --> 00:10:01,388
-Richie. Jesus Christ.
-She's okay. She's fine.
306
00:10:01,421 --> 00:10:02,959
-TIFF: How do you know I'm okay?
-RICHIE: She's alright.
307
00:10:02,992 --> 00:10:04,394
-She's a little nauseous.
-Be a gentleman
308
00:10:04,427 --> 00:10:05,630
-and take care of her.
-She's a little bit nauseous.
309
00:10:05,664 --> 00:10:08,202
-Actually--
-What the hell do you
have on your sleeve?
310
00:10:08,235 --> 00:10:10,440
-Don't worry about it.
-Jesus, this is your
nice sweater. I got it for you.
311
00:10:10,473 --> 00:10:12,812
Actually, nausea's good for
a baby 'cause it lets you
know that they're healthy.
312
00:10:12,845 --> 00:10:14,481
-He read one book. Yeah.
-DONNA: Okay, you know what.
313
00:10:14,514 --> 00:10:16,786
-Do you wanna go lay down
upstairs in my bed?
-That would be nice.
314
00:10:16,819 --> 00:10:18,322
-Oh, thanks, D.
-Of course.
315
00:10:18,355 --> 00:10:20,260
-D, you got a little
green on you.
-That's sweet of you.
316
00:10:20,293 --> 00:10:22,230
Oh, okay. Thank you.
You know what? Go lay down.
317
00:10:22,263 --> 00:10:23,132
RICHIE: You want
a Sprite or something?
318
00:10:23,165 --> 00:10:24,702
You go up, I'm gonna
get you a Sprite.
319
00:10:24,735 --> 00:10:25,938
-Alright.
-You want anything else, babe?
320
00:10:25,971 --> 00:10:27,107
-I don't know.
-DONNA: You good, bear?
321
00:10:27,140 --> 00:10:28,175
CARMY: Yeah, yeah.
I'm good, I'm good.
322
00:10:28,208 --> 00:10:29,278
I asked you not to do this.
323
00:10:29,311 --> 00:10:30,748
-I didn't do anything.
-Yeah.
324
00:10:30,781 --> 00:10:31,716
-What?
-You look a little green.
325
00:10:31,750 --> 00:10:32,652
-Do you want a Sprite?
-Thank you, I feel--
326
00:10:32,685 --> 00:10:34,822
Oh, yeah, that would be nice.
Thank you.
327
00:10:34,855 --> 00:10:36,358
-SUGAR: Yeah.
-How do you feel?
328
00:10:36,391 --> 00:10:38,095
-SUGAR: Not great.
-I-I feel terrible.
329
00:10:38,529 --> 00:10:39,832
SUGAR: Okay, feel better.
330
00:10:40,366 --> 00:10:42,037
-Here, paper towels.
-Thank you, thanks, Sug.
331
00:10:42,070 --> 00:10:43,205
-RICHIE: Yo, Auntie D.
-DONNA: What?
332
00:10:43,774 --> 00:10:45,076
RICHIE:
Uh, are we outta Sprite?
333
00:10:45,109 --> 00:10:46,378
DONNA:
We don't have Sprite.
334
00:10:46,411 --> 00:10:48,149
-RICHIE: We don't have Sprite?
-CARMY: Ma! Ma!
335
00:10:48,182 --> 00:10:50,253
Cousin... I got it.
I got it. I got it.
336
00:10:50,286 --> 00:10:52,023
DONNA:
Well, no, no, no, no, no.
You can't go to the store.
337
00:10:52,056 --> 00:10:53,392
You're gonna go
to the store now?
338
00:10:53,425 --> 00:10:54,929
-My timers are going off.
-Mom, I know.
339
00:10:54,962 --> 00:10:56,031
-Carmen. I need you.
-CARMY: I know, I know.
340
00:10:56,064 --> 00:10:57,167
No, no, I'm gonna make it.
341
00:10:57,200 --> 00:10:58,202
I'm gonna make it.
It's fine.
342
00:10:58,235 --> 00:10:59,337
DONNA:
Oh, you're gonna make it.
343
00:10:59,371 --> 00:11:01,075
-CARMY: Yeah.
-RICHIE: You're gonna
make Sprite?
344
00:11:01,108 --> 00:11:02,477
CARMY: Yeah, I'm gonna
make fuckin' Sprite, yeah.
345
00:11:02,510 --> 00:11:04,514
Are you a fuckin' pop machine?
346
00:11:04,548 --> 00:11:05,951
Yeah, I'm a fuckin' pop machine.
347
00:11:05,984 --> 00:11:07,487
Hey, Ma,
are you sure you're good?
348
00:11:07,520 --> 00:11:10,393
Listen, I know you keep thinking
like you wanna try to help.
349
00:11:10,426 --> 00:11:12,263
Do you wanna just
make the whole dinner?
350
00:11:12,296 --> 00:11:13,299
-SUGAR: I want to help you.
-How do you know how
to make a Sprite?
351
00:11:13,332 --> 00:11:15,336
Just stop. Okay?
Just stop.
352
00:11:15,369 --> 00:11:16,806
RICHIE:
How the fuck do you know
how to make Sprite?
353
00:11:16,839 --> 00:11:17,942
You know how he knows
how to make Sprite?
354
00:11:17,975 --> 00:11:19,111
Because he's a big-time chef.
355
00:11:19,144 --> 00:11:20,046
-Oh. Got it, got it.
-That's how.
356
00:11:20,079 --> 00:11:22,150
-That's how I know.
-Somehow, I forgot.
357
00:11:22,183 --> 00:11:23,185
Nattie, I appreciate you.
Thank you for asking.
358
00:11:23,218 --> 00:11:24,053
-SUGAR: Okay.
-DONNA: Thank you.
359
00:11:24,087 --> 00:11:25,523
-RICHIE: Yo, Auntie D.
-DONNA: What?
360
00:11:25,557 --> 00:11:27,327
-Why the seven fishes?
-DONNA: Oh, my God.
361
00:11:27,360 --> 00:11:29,331
What is up with everyone today?
362
00:11:29,364 --> 00:11:30,801
I'm just trying to make
a nice fuckin' thing.
363
00:11:30,834 --> 00:11:32,203
I just mean why the fuck
do people even do it?
364
00:11:32,236 --> 00:11:36,045
Because it's based
on people who left Italy
365
00:11:36,078 --> 00:11:39,351
to find new dreams
and homes with new people.
366
00:11:39,384 --> 00:11:41,155
And they brought
their seven best things
367
00:11:41,188 --> 00:11:43,492
from their sea
to their new homes,
368
00:11:43,525 --> 00:11:45,163
and not so their families end up
369
00:11:45,196 --> 00:11:46,800
being a bunch
of fuckin' jagoffs.
370
00:11:46,833 --> 00:11:48,035
-That's not even close.
-What's not even close?
371
00:11:48,068 --> 00:11:49,237
Why do you come
in here talking shit?
372
00:11:49,270 --> 00:11:50,406
I'm not talking shit.
I'm just saying,
373
00:11:50,439 --> 00:11:52,510
her seven fishes legend
is not even close.
374
00:11:52,544 --> 00:11:54,380
There are sevens
all over the Bible.
375
00:11:54,782 --> 00:11:59,124
You get Sacraments, virtues,
days, guilt, probably.
376
00:11:59,157 --> 00:12:01,061
You know,
making people feel like shit,
377
00:12:01,094 --> 00:12:03,867
holding everything in
and then letting it out
inappropriately,
378
00:12:03,900 --> 00:12:06,305
raging, pouting,
screaming, making scenes.
379
00:12:06,338 --> 00:12:08,042
You know,
all the Italian classics.
380
00:12:08,075 --> 00:12:09,411
Yo, you're
not even Italian, bro.
381
00:12:09,444 --> 00:12:11,949
I know. Polski, baby.
Polski.
382
00:12:13,620 --> 00:12:15,289
-I like your version better.
-Thanks.
383
00:12:15,322 --> 00:12:16,593
Hey, Carmen, take out
384
00:12:16,626 --> 00:12:18,262
the proscuit
and the mortadel, please.
385
00:12:18,295 --> 00:12:19,364
Yeah, I got you.
386
00:12:19,397 --> 00:12:20,499
Yo, Carm.
387
00:12:20,767 --> 00:12:22,270
CARMY:
Yo? Here you go, Sprite.
388
00:12:22,303 --> 00:12:23,573
-RICHIE: Sprite? Sprite. Fuck.
-CARMY: Sprite.
389
00:12:23,606 --> 00:12:25,443
Why isn't somebody
listening to me?
390
00:12:25,476 --> 00:12:26,679
-CARMY: What? I'm listening.
-No, no, no.
391
00:12:26,713 --> 00:12:29,217
-Why is no one listening to me?
-CARMY: I'm listening. What?
392
00:12:29,250 --> 00:12:31,055
-What? What?
-I said move the pot.
393
00:12:31,088 --> 00:12:34,127
-When?
-DONNA: I said move the pot.
394
00:12:34,160 --> 00:12:36,031
Right now? I'll move the pot.
You want me to move the pot?
395
00:12:36,064 --> 00:12:37,935
-I said move the fucking pot.
-CARMY: Okay! Alright!
396
00:12:37,968 --> 00:12:39,303
Here, here. Here's the pot.
397
00:12:39,571 --> 00:12:42,444
And it's fuckin' moving.
And it's going right over here.
398
00:12:42,477 --> 00:12:44,114
-Thank you.
-Okay? There you go.
399
00:12:44,147 --> 00:12:45,450
-I'm sorry.
I just need a second.
-Thank you.
400
00:12:45,483 --> 00:12:46,886
CARMY: I just need
to go look at this...
401
00:12:47,520 --> 00:12:49,324
Thank you.
402
00:12:49,357 --> 00:12:51,228
-MIKEY: One sec,
I gotta find Rich. Cousin!
CARMY: Jesus fucking...
403
00:12:51,261 --> 00:12:52,565
-Cousin!
-RICHIE: Yo.
404
00:12:52,598 --> 00:12:53,867
-Did you tell him?
-What?
405
00:12:53,900 --> 00:12:55,036
Did you fuckin tell him?
406
00:12:55,069 --> 00:12:56,205
Wh-wh-wh-what? What?
407
00:12:56,238 --> 00:12:58,008
-Oh, fuck me! Dawg!
-Bro...
408
00:12:58,041 --> 00:12:59,478
Merry fuckin' Christmas, bro.
409
00:12:59,511 --> 00:13:00,614
-What? What do you mean?
-Merry fuckin' Christmas
410
00:13:00,647 --> 00:13:01,616
Guys, don't fuck
with me right now.
411
00:13:01,649 --> 00:13:02,985
No one's fuckin' with you.
412
00:13:03,018 --> 00:13:04,154
What the fuck?
Why would you think that?
413
00:13:04,187 --> 00:13:05,222
'Cause you're always
fuckin' with me,
414
00:13:05,256 --> 00:13:06,224
that's why I fuckin think it.
What do you mean?
415
00:13:06,258 --> 00:13:08,663
You're not gonna
fucking believe who we just saw.
416
00:13:08,696 --> 00:13:09,966
No, no, no, no, no, no.
This is a good thing.
417
00:13:09,999 --> 00:13:11,435
This is a good thing.
Just listen.
418
00:13:11,468 --> 00:13:12,370
-What do you mean?
-MIKEY: Don't be
a mopey little fuck.
419
00:13:12,403 --> 00:13:13,707
What? I'm not being
a mopey little fuck.
420
00:13:13,740 --> 00:13:16,211
Just take a break.
Take a break from being
a mopey little fuck.
421
00:13:16,244 --> 00:13:17,581
-We're trying to tell you...
-RICHIE: Shut your mouth.
Just listen.
422
00:13:17,614 --> 00:13:19,351
We're trying to tell you
we ran into
423
00:13:19,384 --> 00:13:20,420
the love of your fucking life.
424
00:13:20,453 --> 00:13:21,522
I don't have a love of my life.
425
00:13:21,556 --> 00:13:23,292
-RICHIE: Just fucking tell him.
-MIKEY: Claire bear.
426
00:13:23,325 --> 00:13:24,562
-RICHIE: Claire bear!
-MIKEY: Claire bear.
427
00:13:24,595 --> 00:13:26,465
-You saw Claire?
-We saw Claire bear!
428
00:13:26,498 --> 00:13:29,504
That fuckin' chubby little
genius down the street,
she's beautiful.
429
00:13:29,538 --> 00:13:31,375
-The body is banging!
-Banging, yo. Banging.
430
00:13:31,408 --> 00:13:33,012
RICHIE:
Yo, she is hot as balls.
431
00:13:33,045 --> 00:13:34,247
-MIKEY:
Hot as fuckin' balls, dude.
-Yo.
432
00:13:34,280 --> 00:13:35,516
RICHIE: Oh, my God,
the glasses came off.
433
00:13:35,550 --> 00:13:38,322
The motherfucking glasses
came off, G!
434
00:13:38,355 --> 00:13:39,992
RICHIE: Like a librarian
in a fuckin' porno.
435
00:13:40,025 --> 00:13:41,361
She's all that
and a fuckin' basket
of biscuits, bro.
436
00:13:41,394 --> 00:13:42,565
And by the way, she's like,
437
00:13:42,598 --> 00:13:44,334
she's like
a legitimate fucking wizard.
438
00:13:44,367 --> 00:13:46,038
-Yeah. Oh, yeah. That's true.
-MIKEY: She's like a wizard.
439
00:13:46,071 --> 00:13:47,106
Tiffany used to babysit her.
440
00:13:47,140 --> 00:13:48,242
-She's obsessed with science.
-What did you do?
441
00:13:48,275 --> 00:13:50,012
-She's obsessed with science.
-She's in med school.
442
00:13:50,045 --> 00:13:51,248
-She's in med school.
-What did you do?
443
00:13:51,281 --> 00:13:52,685
-What did you do?
-We didn't do anything.
444
00:13:52,718 --> 00:13:54,354
-CARMY: What do you mean?
-We just massaged the fuckin'...
445
00:13:54,387 --> 00:13:56,125
Bro, this is a
once-in-a-million opportunity
446
00:13:56,158 --> 00:13:57,260
for you to score with a woman
447
00:13:57,293 --> 00:13:58,930
that's stacked
physically and mentally.
448
00:13:58,963 --> 00:14:00,601
Homie, you're having a child.
Like, what the fuck?
449
00:14:00,634 --> 00:14:02,003
Why are you talking like that?
450
00:14:02,036 --> 00:14:03,139
It's not about me.
451
00:14:03,172 --> 00:14:04,441
Carmen, what are you
talking about?
452
00:14:04,474 --> 00:14:06,211
-It's done.
-Who asked you
to do that, though?
453
00:14:06,244 --> 00:14:07,648
Who asked you to do that?
That's what I'm saying.
454
00:14:07,681 --> 00:14:09,151
It's Christmas.
I fuckin' put in a good word.
455
00:14:09,184 --> 00:14:10,286
CARMY:
Nobody asked you to do that.
456
00:14:10,319 --> 00:14:12,123
I told her about Napa,
about Copen...
457
00:14:12,156 --> 00:14:13,359
I feel like
you're breaking my balls.
That's what you're doing.
458
00:14:13,392 --> 00:14:14,494
I don't understand
why you always do that.
459
00:14:14,527 --> 00:14:15,362
Like, why are you like this?
460
00:14:15,396 --> 00:14:17,367
But she's hot now, Carm.
She's hot now.
461
00:14:17,400 --> 00:14:19,137
-I'm just like...
-Stevie was with us.
462
00:14:19,170 --> 00:14:20,039
Hey, Steven,
get the fuck in here, please.
463
00:14:20,072 --> 00:14:21,441
I don't need Steven
to come over here.
464
00:14:21,474 --> 00:14:23,011
RICHIE: Hey, Steven,
get the fuck in here.
465
00:14:23,044 --> 00:14:25,216
-Would you please
tell him who we ran into?
-RICHIE: He doesn't believe us.
466
00:14:25,249 --> 00:14:26,418
Oh, we saw Claire bear.
467
00:14:26,451 --> 00:14:27,655
-Boom!
-RICHIE: You see?
468
00:14:27,688 --> 00:14:30,092
STEVEN: On the weekends,
this woman teaches CPR
469
00:14:30,125 --> 00:14:31,495
to differently abled
college kids.
470
00:14:31,528 --> 00:14:32,631
Yeah, like, is that, like, Fak?
471
00:14:32,664 --> 00:14:33,599
-Like Neil?
-MIKEY: You see?
472
00:14:33,633 --> 00:14:35,537
-She's a deeply good person.
-MIKEY: Boom!
473
00:14:35,570 --> 00:14:36,673
I can see why
you're in love with her.
474
00:14:36,706 --> 00:14:37,675
I'm not in love
with her, though.
475
00:14:37,708 --> 00:14:38,375
That's what I'm saying.
476
00:14:38,409 --> 00:14:39,545
Where did you guys get this from
477
00:14:39,578 --> 00:14:40,512
that I'm in love with her?
478
00:14:40,547 --> 00:14:42,150
RICHIE: You used to have
all those drawings.
479
00:14:42,183 --> 00:14:43,452
That's what I'm fuckin'
talking about, though.
480
00:14:43,485 --> 00:14:44,454
That's what
I'm fucking talking about.
481
00:14:44,487 --> 00:14:46,158
-STEVEN: May I say...
-That's what I'm saying.
482
00:14:46,191 --> 00:14:47,193
That's why I think
you're fucking with me.
483
00:14:47,226 --> 00:14:48,295
You're
bringing up this thing
484
00:14:48,328 --> 00:14:50,032
you used to give me
a fucking hard time about it.
485
00:14:50,065 --> 00:14:51,201
You used to give me
a fucking hard time about it.
486
00:14:51,234 --> 00:14:52,203
-Relax.
-No one's giving you...
487
00:14:52,236 --> 00:14:53,305
Don't touch me.
488
00:14:53,338 --> 00:14:55,076
STEVEN:
Your brother handled it.
489
00:14:55,109 --> 00:14:56,278
-(timer ringing)
-I want to touch you.
490
00:14:56,311 --> 00:14:58,048
-(overlapping chatter)
-Don't touch me.
491
00:14:58,081 --> 00:14:59,619
Mikey, don't fuckin' touch me.
I'm serious.
492
00:14:59,652 --> 00:15:01,589
-I want to touch you.
-(ringing continues)
493
00:15:01,622 --> 00:15:03,292
Don't fucking touch me.
Mikey. Stop.
494
00:15:03,325 --> 00:15:04,361
-DONNA: Hey!
-CARMY: Mikey!
495
00:15:04,394 --> 00:15:05,631
-What the fuck?
-RICHIE: Yo!
496
00:15:05,664 --> 00:15:07,500
Auntie D, did you just
throw a spoon at me?
497
00:15:07,533 --> 00:15:09,639
DONNA: Yeah, I did.
You, Richard, bring her the pop.
498
00:15:09,672 --> 00:15:11,208
-Deedee--
-DONNA: Carmen, I need you.
499
00:15:11,241 --> 00:15:13,078
-Can you just calm down?
-Ma, you gotta chill, Mom.
500
00:15:13,111 --> 00:15:14,447
Ma, you gotta chill.
501
00:15:14,480 --> 00:15:16,184
DONNA: No, no, no.
You cannot say that.
502
00:15:16,217 --> 00:15:17,420
We're not done with
this Claire Bear thing.
503
00:15:17,453 --> 00:15:19,190
You're fuckin'
breaking my balls.
504
00:15:19,223 --> 00:15:21,361
RICHIE:
No, I think, I think it's just
a big misunderstanding.
505
00:15:21,394 --> 00:15:23,600
Carm... this is a good thing.
506
00:15:23,633 --> 00:15:26,104
DONNA:
You, Carmen, come on.
I need help.
507
00:15:26,137 --> 00:15:28,075
RICHIE:
Yo, Deedee, can you just
calm down a little...
508
00:15:28,108 --> 00:15:29,645
DONNA:
Hey, no, you do not tell me...
509
00:15:36,258 --> 00:15:37,628
IFF: Hi. -RICHIE: Hi.
510
00:15:37,661 --> 00:15:38,596
TIFF: Hi.
511
00:15:41,736 --> 00:15:42,805
How you doing?
512
00:15:42,838 --> 00:15:44,006
I'm okay.
513
00:15:44,708 --> 00:15:45,677
I'm good.
514
00:15:47,714 --> 00:15:49,652
This room is so insane.
515
00:15:49,685 --> 00:15:52,290
Yeah, it's a lot. Yeah.
516
00:15:52,323 --> 00:15:54,293
Um, we're out of Sprite, but...
517
00:15:55,563 --> 00:15:58,202
Carmy made this for you.
518
00:15:58,235 --> 00:15:59,404
TIFF:
What do you mean
he made it for me?
519
00:15:59,437 --> 00:16:00,607
RICHIE:
He made it for you.
520
00:16:00,640 --> 00:16:02,109
He's like a goddamn
pop machine, this guy.
521
00:16:03,278 --> 00:16:04,548
He's a weird little dude.
522
00:16:05,382 --> 00:16:07,186
(Richie laughs)
523
00:16:09,090 --> 00:16:10,259
-Yo.
-Right?
524
00:16:11,094 --> 00:16:12,096
Right?
525
00:16:12,129 --> 00:16:13,132
What's up with him, though?
526
00:16:13,165 --> 00:16:14,601
He's so, like...
527
00:16:14,935 --> 00:16:17,440
I don't know.
He's a little... Yeah.
528
00:16:17,473 --> 00:16:20,078
He's... weird.
529
00:16:21,882 --> 00:16:23,151
We're, um...
530
00:16:24,822 --> 00:16:26,626
We're trying to hook him up
with Claire bear,
531
00:16:26,659 --> 00:16:28,395
you know,
loosen him up a little bit.
532
00:16:28,428 --> 00:16:29,531
-With Claire?
-RICHIE: Yeah.
533
00:16:29,565 --> 00:16:31,301
Why would you do that?
She's so nice.
534
00:16:33,740 --> 00:16:34,741
Are you still mad at me?
535
00:16:38,482 --> 00:16:39,483
No.
536
00:16:40,754 --> 00:16:42,123
I threw up so many times,
537
00:16:42,156 --> 00:16:43,760
I honestly forgot
what I was mad about.
538
00:16:43,793 --> 00:16:45,229
You just puked
all that anger up?
539
00:16:45,262 --> 00:16:46,531
Just got it all outta you?
540
00:16:50,272 --> 00:16:52,410
I'll take it.
541
00:16:52,443 --> 00:16:54,582
Hey, did you go
look at the place?
542
00:16:54,615 --> 00:16:56,417
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
543
00:16:57,420 --> 00:16:58,488
What'd you think?
544
00:17:02,564 --> 00:17:04,134
I think it's expensive.
545
00:17:04,167 --> 00:17:06,171
But it's nice.
546
00:17:06,204 --> 00:17:07,607
And schools are nice.
547
00:17:09,177 --> 00:17:10,345
It's public school.
548
00:17:12,851 --> 00:17:14,520
You can walk to school.
549
00:17:31,187 --> 00:17:32,456
-Hi.
-Hey.
550
00:17:37,333 --> 00:17:38,234
Hi.
551
00:17:41,609 --> 00:17:43,211
-I had a dream.
-Mm-hmm.
552
00:17:43,846 --> 00:17:45,783
That we only wore
green clothes.
553
00:17:46,484 --> 00:17:48,756
They were our clothes,
but they were all green.
554
00:17:49,324 --> 00:17:50,894
-RICHIE: Mm-hmm.
-And then the baby
555
00:17:50,927 --> 00:17:52,496
only wore red clothes.
556
00:17:53,198 --> 00:17:55,403
Like I went to the store and I
bought all these other colors
557
00:17:55,436 --> 00:17:57,941
and I brought 'em back home
and then they were all red.
558
00:17:57,974 --> 00:17:59,143
What do you think?
559
00:18:00,446 --> 00:18:02,283
I think that's
pretty fuckin' dope.
560
00:18:02,316 --> 00:18:03,451
That's what I thought.
561
00:18:14,975 --> 00:18:16,545
Do you think
that she'll like us?
562
00:18:22,991 --> 00:18:24,729
I don't know.
563
00:18:24,762 --> 00:18:25,863
I hope so.
564
00:18:27,533 --> 00:18:29,538
-Yeah, me, too.
-We just gotta...
565
00:18:30,907 --> 00:18:32,744
not be like our parents,
you know.
566
00:18:34,648 --> 00:18:36,184
Well, you're not like a...
567
00:18:37,988 --> 00:18:41,428
a psycho vampire...
568
00:18:41,461 --> 00:18:42,764
TIFF: Alcoholic.
569
00:18:43,131 --> 00:18:45,236
-...bitch, like...
No offense, but.
-Vindictive.
570
00:18:45,269 --> 00:18:47,172
No. It's-it's accurate.
571
00:18:49,878 --> 00:18:51,348
I'm actually here.
572
00:18:51,381 --> 00:18:52,717
That's a start.
573
00:18:55,857 --> 00:18:58,328
-Am I squishing you?
-No, no, it's good. It's good.
574
00:18:58,361 --> 00:18:59,330
I like it.
575
00:19:01,401 --> 00:19:02,570
You're so cute.
576
00:19:04,340 --> 00:19:06,244
You're gonna be
such a cute dad.
577
00:19:17,500 --> 00:19:19,303
I really don't wanna
throw up again.
578
00:19:22,376 --> 00:19:23,746
You don't smell like barf.
579
00:19:25,415 --> 00:19:26,284
That's good.
580
00:19:26,317 --> 00:19:28,789
I like chugged Listerine.
581
00:19:31,629 --> 00:19:32,797
(Richie sighs)
582
00:19:36,337 --> 00:19:38,810
The upside of barf is that
you get some peace and quiet.
583
00:19:38,843 --> 00:19:41,549
-That is true.
-(Richie sighs)
584
00:19:41,582 --> 00:19:44,520
I get to be away from
all those psychos downstairs.
585
00:19:45,723 --> 00:19:47,059
Do you think
Donna's gonna kill me
586
00:19:47,092 --> 00:19:48,796
if I throw up on her robe?
587
00:19:49,330 --> 00:19:51,367
-I don't think she'll notice.
-(Tiff chuckles)
588
00:20:16,017 --> 00:20:17,386
I love you so much.
589
00:20:17,419 --> 00:20:18,923
TIFF: I love you so much.
590
00:20:21,962 --> 00:20:24,000
I have one quick question,
though, for you.
591
00:20:24,033 --> 00:20:26,404
-RICHIE: Mm-hmm.
-Is that a leopard
592
00:20:26,772 --> 00:20:29,510
or is it a cheetah
or is it a panther?
593
00:20:30,479 --> 00:20:31,548
That's a leopard.
594
00:20:31,982 --> 00:20:33,553
We're in Donna's bedroom.
595
00:20:33,586 --> 00:20:34,989
-(growls)
-There's not gonna
be a fuckin' cheetah.
596
00:20:35,022 --> 00:20:36,357
(Richie laughs)
597
00:20:38,395 --> 00:20:39,798
Alright, I gotta go back down.
598
00:20:39,831 --> 00:20:40,833
Okay.
599
00:20:41,702 --> 00:20:43,939
RICHIE:
I'll come back and check on you
in a few minutes.
600
00:20:48,481 --> 00:20:50,753
-I love you so much.
-I love you.
601
00:20:54,160 --> 00:20:55,129
RICHIE: Merry Christmas.
602
00:20:55,162 --> 00:20:56,865
Merry fuckin' Christmas.
603
00:20:58,368 --> 00:20:59,538
(sighs)
604
00:21:04,681 --> 00:21:06,919
DONNA:
Fuck! God-- Fuck!
605
00:21:06,952 --> 00:21:09,625
-Hey, I got this. I got this.
-No, it's okay. It's okay.
606
00:21:09,658 --> 00:21:10,927
-LEE: Yeah.
-DONNA: No, wait.
607
00:21:11,428 --> 00:21:14,133
-LEE: Ugh, here. Let me help.
-DONNA: Fuck! Thanks.
608
00:21:14,166 --> 00:21:15,636
Hey, did you get
that thing I sent you?
609
00:21:16,104 --> 00:21:17,406
No. What'd you send me?
610
00:21:17,439 --> 00:21:18,843
It's a building in Wilmette.
611
00:21:18,876 --> 00:21:21,047
I'm gonna buy it,
I'm gonna lease it out.
612
00:21:21,080 --> 00:21:22,383
-It's a piece of shit.
-(Donna laughs)
613
00:21:22,416 --> 00:21:23,620
It's got, like, seven cracks
614
00:21:23,653 --> 00:21:24,989
-in the foundation.
-Congratulations.
615
00:21:25,022 --> 00:21:27,561
Yeah, but the thing is,
the guy doesn't have a realtor.
616
00:21:27,594 --> 00:21:30,600
Hey, I thought if
you needed help again.
-Oh, no. No, no, no. No.
617
00:21:30,633 --> 00:21:31,969
Yeah, but this could be
a chance for us to--
618
00:21:32,002 --> 00:21:33,673
No, I don't need it.
I don't need it.
619
00:21:33,706 --> 00:21:35,409
Thank you, though.
I appreciate it.
I got it handled.
620
00:21:35,442 --> 00:21:37,413
-Okay, but everybody
wins, you know.
-MIKEY: Excuse me.
621
00:21:37,446 --> 00:21:39,985
-DONNA: Yeah. Nobody wins.
-You make a deal,
I'll make a deal...
622
00:21:40,519 --> 00:21:42,858
-We get to, you know,
do it together.
-DONNA: Oh, yeah.
623
00:21:42,891 --> 00:21:44,828
-Yeah. Thanks, though.
-That's a good idea.
624
00:21:44,861 --> 00:21:47,033
-Think about it, okay?
-DONNA: Okay.
625
00:21:47,066 --> 00:21:48,969
So, guys, are we
really doing this again?
626
00:21:49,771 --> 00:21:51,975
I'm just,
I'm cleaning up a mess here.
627
00:21:52,744 --> 00:21:53,880
(Mikey sighs)
628
00:21:53,913 --> 00:21:55,650
Yeah, you are a mess, Lee.
629
00:21:55,683 --> 00:21:56,885
-DONNA:
Oh, you know what, Michael?
-What?
630
00:21:56,919 --> 00:21:59,457
-That's not very nice. Michael.
-MIKEY: Is that not very nice?
631
00:21:59,490 --> 00:22:01,194
What happened to the
Christmas spirit in this house?
632
00:22:01,227 --> 00:22:03,431
-DONNA: I don't know.
-It's gone. I can't find it.
633
00:22:08,943 --> 00:22:10,680
Yo. Yo, yo, yo. Oh.
634
00:22:10,713 --> 00:22:11,915
(softly) Uncle J. Uncle J.
635
00:22:12,416 --> 00:22:13,351
(whispering)
Why are we whispering?
636
00:22:13,385 --> 00:22:15,422
(whispering)
Oh, I just wanted to talk to you
637
00:22:15,455 --> 00:22:16,692
about that thing from earlier.
638
00:22:17,093 --> 00:22:18,095
What thing from earlier?
639
00:22:18,128 --> 00:22:21,434
The... the job.
The job thing.
640
00:22:21,467 --> 00:22:22,738
(loudly)
Oh, the job from earlier!
641
00:22:22,771 --> 00:22:23,906
Come on, don't be an asshole.
642
00:22:23,939 --> 00:22:26,679
Come on.
I'm-I'm being real with you.
643
00:22:26,712 --> 00:22:31,555
Oh. Okay. In that case,
I gotta put on my real face.
644
00:22:31,588 --> 00:22:33,592
-Jimmy.
-CICERO: What did I say earlier?
645
00:22:34,293 --> 00:22:35,697
You said we'd
talk about it later.
646
00:22:35,730 --> 00:22:36,832
And now it's later.
647
00:22:37,166 --> 00:22:38,802
Very good. So shoot.
648
00:22:39,538 --> 00:22:40,774
Alright.
649
00:22:40,807 --> 00:22:41,976
I'm about to have this kid.
650
00:22:42,009 --> 00:22:44,581
I don't wanna be
wrapping up sandwiches
651
00:22:44,614 --> 00:22:45,448
for the rest of my life.
652
00:22:45,482 --> 00:22:46,752
You know, I don't wanna
be going home
653
00:22:46,785 --> 00:22:48,155
with my hands covered in grease,
654
00:22:48,188 --> 00:22:50,660
trying to change
diapers and stuff. I...
655
00:22:52,964 --> 00:22:57,106
You're, um, someone
with a lot going on.
656
00:22:57,139 --> 00:22:59,143
You could probably
use some help.
657
00:22:59,176 --> 00:23:00,178
I've been looking...
658
00:23:00,980 --> 00:23:03,085
there's not much
going on out there.
659
00:23:03,118 --> 00:23:04,153
You know?
660
00:23:04,688 --> 00:23:08,763
You're somebody...
that knows something.
661
00:23:08,796 --> 00:23:09,731
And...
662
00:23:17,580 --> 00:23:19,517
(whispering)
I don't wanna be
at The Beef every day.
663
00:23:19,551 --> 00:23:20,887
That makes sense, right?
664
00:23:20,920 --> 00:23:22,624
I feel like
I'm wasting potential.
665
00:23:22,657 --> 00:23:23,993
What kinda potential?
666
00:23:24,026 --> 00:23:26,064
I don't know. Uh...
I'm good with people.
667
00:23:26,097 --> 00:23:28,501
I'm... Uh, I don't really have
an outlet for that, though.
668
00:23:30,005 --> 00:23:32,711
And I've never had a mentor.
I never had an uncle--
669
00:23:32,744 --> 00:23:34,247
Oh, and I'm neither
of those things.
670
00:23:34,280 --> 00:23:36,250
Yeah, but you understand
what I'm saying, though, right?
671
00:23:36,952 --> 00:23:39,958
-No, I do not.
-RICHIE: I am not
asking you for money.
672
00:23:40,259 --> 00:23:41,561
I wanna learn.
673
00:23:42,664 --> 00:23:44,868
If you teach me, I will learn.
674
00:23:44,901 --> 00:23:46,037
And you can trust me.
675
00:23:48,809 --> 00:23:50,847
You want me to,
you want me to teach you things?
676
00:23:50,880 --> 00:23:51,882
Yeah.
677
00:23:52,450 --> 00:23:54,921
Yeah. You know, business stuff.
678
00:23:57,059 --> 00:23:59,598
Oh. Ohh.
679
00:23:59,631 --> 00:24:01,000
Oh, you want a job.
680
00:24:01,669 --> 00:24:03,806
I get it. I get it now.
I'm reading you.
681
00:24:05,877 --> 00:24:07,012
Will you think about it?
682
00:24:08,783 --> 00:24:09,684
Maybe.
683
00:24:11,722 --> 00:24:12,690
You're a good kid.
684
00:24:14,861 --> 00:24:15,930
Merry Christmas, Unc.
685
00:24:16,331 --> 00:24:18,000
CICERO:
You too, fuckface.
686
00:24:28,756 --> 00:24:29,792
-Yeah... I got--
-Spray the other way.
687
00:24:29,825 --> 00:24:31,862
Neil, I got allergies, man.
688
00:24:31,895 --> 00:24:33,231
-(blows raspberry)
-Chanel.
689
00:24:34,000 --> 00:24:36,605
Did your daddy buy you
these matching outfits?
690
00:24:36,638 --> 00:24:37,607
-FAK: Yeah.
-Yeah?
691
00:24:37,640 --> 00:24:38,643
TED:
Big Neil got 'em for us.
692
00:24:38,676 --> 00:24:39,912
Yeah. Kohl's Cash.
693
00:24:39,945 --> 00:24:41,816
-Kohl's Cash.
-TED: You know what I'm saying?
694
00:24:41,849 --> 00:24:42,951
Yeah, I do know
what you're saying.
695
00:24:42,984 --> 00:24:44,153
Oh, yeah.
696
00:24:44,186 --> 00:24:45,222
-MICHELLE:
Is your sister coming?
-No.
697
00:24:45,255 --> 00:24:46,992
TED: Francie's not allowed.
698
00:24:47,359 --> 00:24:48,896
-No. Yeah.
-Why?
699
00:24:48,929 --> 00:24:50,098
-FAK: 'Cause... 'Cause Nat.
-Oh.
700
00:24:50,131 --> 00:24:51,033
-FAK: She's mad as hell.
-Oh.
701
00:24:51,066 --> 00:24:52,604
-FAK: She's angry.
-'Cause of the thing.
702
00:24:52,637 --> 00:24:53,739
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
703
00:24:54,240 --> 00:24:55,275
-Yeah.
-Still, huh?
704
00:24:55,308 --> 00:24:56,344
Still.
705
00:24:56,377 --> 00:25:00,018
-Like...
-(both growling)
706
00:25:00,051 --> 00:25:01,087
Yeah.
707
00:25:01,120 --> 00:25:02,156
-Uh...
-Yeah.
708
00:25:02,189 --> 00:25:03,091
Yeah.
709
00:25:03,124 --> 00:25:06,030
I'm sorry. That's really hard.
710
00:25:06,063 --> 00:25:07,634
-Yeah.
-TED: Yeah.
711
00:25:07,667 --> 00:25:09,671
Francie's a fuckface, though.
712
00:25:10,072 --> 00:25:12,042
-Totally.
-I mean, absolutely.
713
00:25:12,075 --> 00:25:13,679
Just like a total fuckface.
714
00:25:13,712 --> 00:25:15,215
-Oh, yeah. All the way.
-Totally.
715
00:25:15,750 --> 00:25:17,721
She's nice, though,
but, she's...
716
00:25:17,754 --> 00:25:20,225
-Not nice.
-No. No.
717
00:25:20,258 --> 00:25:21,361
The worst.
718
00:25:21,394 --> 00:25:22,797
Bad. Yeah.
719
00:25:22,830 --> 00:25:23,866
Is New York City the best?
720
00:25:23,899 --> 00:25:25,402
Ohh, it's the best.
721
00:25:25,435 --> 00:25:28,241
(exhales) You know,
it's just like you're alive.
722
00:25:28,274 --> 00:25:31,080
And then you come here and
you're dead, you know, it's...
723
00:25:31,113 --> 00:25:32,383
Oh.
724
00:25:32,416 --> 00:25:35,122
Do you think Donna's
gonna do something crazy?
725
00:25:35,155 --> 00:25:36,926
(scoffs) Abs...
726
00:25:36,959 --> 00:25:38,294
Yeah.
727
00:25:38,696 --> 00:25:40,633
-Yeah.
-TED: Yeah. Do you?
728
00:25:41,300 --> 00:25:43,070
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
729
00:25:45,375 --> 00:25:47,881
♪ Oh, there's
a little white duck ♪
730
00:25:47,914 --> 00:25:49,383
♪ Sitting in the water ♪
731
00:25:49,416 --> 00:25:51,421
♪ A little white duck ♪
732
00:25:51,454 --> 00:25:53,358
♪ Doing what he oughta ♪
733
00:25:53,391 --> 00:25:54,828
♪ He took a bite ♪
734
00:25:54,861 --> 00:25:56,798
(laughing) Oh.
735
00:25:57,299 --> 00:25:58,936
♪ He flapped his wings ♪
736
00:25:58,969 --> 00:26:01,007
-Ma, can I help, please?
-DONNA: Hmm? Mm-mmm.
737
00:26:01,040 --> 00:26:02,944
-SUGAR: Can I take--
-No, honey.
738
00:26:02,977 --> 00:26:04,948
I don't wanna have to
explain to everyone
739
00:26:04,981 --> 00:26:06,417
why I call you Sugar again.
740
00:26:06,450 --> 00:26:07,988
Everybody knows why already.
741
00:26:08,021 --> 00:26:09,390
CICERO:
I-I actually don't know why.
742
00:26:09,423 --> 00:26:11,027
I've never heard that story.
743
00:26:11,060 --> 00:26:13,265
DONNA: Do you know
what's really fucking crazy?
744
00:26:13,298 --> 00:26:14,768
Is when you're trying to cook
745
00:26:14,801 --> 00:26:16,972
and people just,
they pour into the kitchen.
746
00:26:17,005 --> 00:26:18,743
You know,
it's fuckin' boiling in here.
747
00:26:18,776 --> 00:26:20,145
CICERO: Is this
a passive-aggressive way...
748
00:26:20,178 --> 00:26:21,113
-Oh.
...of you asking me to leave?
749
00:26:21,147 --> 00:26:23,451
No, no, no, no, no.
It is an aggressive...
750
00:26:23,484 --> 00:26:26,156
aggressive way of asking
you to go scratch.
751
00:26:26,558 --> 00:26:29,030
-Scratch.
-Do you know
how fuckin' hot you are
752
00:26:29,063 --> 00:26:30,265
when you're slurring your words?
753
00:26:30,298 --> 00:26:32,169
Oh, my God,
it's like fuckin' musk.
754
00:26:34,039 --> 00:26:35,977
I... By the way,
I do not know the story.
755
00:26:36,010 --> 00:26:38,749
-DONNA: Oh, because
she added a cup of sugar...
-I added a cup of sugar
756
00:26:38,782 --> 00:26:40,185
-instead of a cup of salt.
-...instead of a cup of salt.
757
00:26:40,218 --> 00:26:43,391
And then the gravy tasted
like fucking Hawaiian Punch.
758
00:26:43,960 --> 00:26:46,397
I'm so glad
we had this time together.
Now I know.
759
00:26:46,430 --> 00:26:47,867
(ringing)
760
00:26:47,900 --> 00:26:49,871
DONNA: Oh, fuck.
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
761
00:26:49,904 --> 00:26:51,140
-CARMY: What? What? What? What?
-It's okay.
762
00:26:51,173 --> 00:26:54,013
DONNA: Um... Oh, did you
get Tiff those saltines?
763
00:26:54,046 --> 00:26:55,048
-No. Okay. Alright.
-DONNA: Get them for her.
764
00:26:55,081 --> 00:26:56,317
I don't remember
what that was for.
765
00:26:56,350 --> 00:26:57,252
DONNA: Oh, yes!
766
00:26:57,285 --> 00:26:59,791
Sugar, you have to
remember to remind me...
767
00:26:59,824 --> 00:27:01,494
-What do I have to remember?
-...that the bread isn't...
768
00:27:01,527 --> 00:27:02,262
No, no, it wasn't the bread.
769
00:27:02,296 --> 00:27:03,766
-(ringing)
-It was the peppers.
770
00:27:03,799 --> 00:27:05,168
The peppers.
Right. The peppers.
771
00:27:05,201 --> 00:27:06,739
-Sugar?
-Yeah.
772
00:27:06,772 --> 00:27:08,876
You're gonna have to remind me
to put the bread in.
773
00:27:08,909 --> 00:27:09,744
-SUGAR: Okay.
-Right before dinner.
774
00:27:09,778 --> 00:27:11,080
-I will do that. Yeah.
-DONNA: Okay?
775
00:27:11,113 --> 00:27:12,216
-Okay.
-Don't worry.
776
00:27:12,249 --> 00:27:13,485
DONNA: Because the peppers
are cooking.
777
00:27:13,518 --> 00:27:15,121
And shit.
The potatoes...
778
00:27:15,522 --> 00:27:17,426
The potatoes are gonna go in
just to warm up again.
779
00:27:17,459 --> 00:27:18,495
Okay, be careful.
780
00:27:18,528 --> 00:27:19,430
-DONNA: Okay?
-Don't burn yourself.
781
00:27:19,463 --> 00:27:20,967
(Fak speaks indistinctly)
782
00:27:21,000 --> 00:27:22,303
-(Fak clears throat)
-Did I win?
783
00:27:22,336 --> 00:27:23,539
-No, no, explain it to him.
-Absolutely not.
784
00:27:23,573 --> 00:27:25,442
-Explain it to him.
-Let me just tell you
how it goes.
785
00:27:25,475 --> 00:27:27,313
You take... Okay, pick a number
one through six again.
786
00:27:27,346 --> 00:27:28,950
-Five.
-Five. Five. Take five.
787
00:27:28,983 --> 00:27:30,485
You got ten dice here, okay?
788
00:27:30,518 --> 00:27:34,493
You roll it 13 times
in hopes to get five 26 times.
789
00:27:34,526 --> 00:27:35,996
-See, that's where you're wrong.
-No, I'm not wrong.
790
00:27:36,030 --> 00:27:39,437
Yeah, you are.
You take the ten dice and
the first person to get 26 wins.
791
00:27:39,470 --> 00:27:40,907
No. I taught you
how to play the game.
792
00:27:40,940 --> 00:27:42,209
-You didn't teach me how to--
-TED: Yes, I did.
793
00:27:42,242 --> 00:27:43,779
-FAK: No, Cousin Gary did.
-TED: Yes, I did.
794
00:27:43,812 --> 00:27:45,215
-No, he didn't.
-He used to take me to the club
795
00:27:45,248 --> 00:27:46,785
-with the hot girls and--
-Cousin Gary doesn't do shit.
796
00:27:46,818 --> 00:27:48,188
You've never seen a hot girl
in your life.
797
00:27:48,221 --> 00:27:49,323
Alright, listen, Steven.
798
00:27:50,492 --> 00:27:51,795
You got 500 bucks on you?
799
00:27:51,828 --> 00:27:53,198
FAK: Do you like baseball cards?
800
00:27:53,231 --> 00:27:54,367
May I take those one at a time?
801
00:27:54,400 --> 00:27:55,870
-FAK: Go ahead.
-I...
802
00:27:55,903 --> 00:27:58,274
Do I have access to 500 bucks?
I-I absolutely do.
803
00:27:58,307 --> 00:28:00,012
-Great. That's perfect.
-I'm a 43-year-old man.
804
00:28:00,045 --> 00:28:01,214
-That's great.
-Good, good.
805
00:28:01,247 --> 00:28:03,819
I am indifferent
to baseball cards.
806
00:28:03,852 --> 00:28:05,522
-Well, listen,
baseball cards are back.
-That's okay. That's okay.
807
00:28:05,556 --> 00:28:07,359
-That's okay.
-Yeah, we're just,
we're just buying,
808
00:28:07,392 --> 00:28:09,230
we're buying boxes
of baseball cards.
809
00:28:09,263 --> 00:28:11,000
-A lot of boxes of cards.
-And-and we're flipping 'em.
810
00:28:11,033 --> 00:28:13,071
-FAK: And there's
one box on eBay.
-Baseball cards are back?
811
00:28:13,104 --> 00:28:15,008
-FAK: My alerts are going off...
-TED: Baseball cards are back.
812
00:28:15,041 --> 00:28:16,545
-So they're valuable right now?
-TED: They're valuable
right now.
813
00:28:16,578 --> 00:28:18,248
-STEVEN: Okay.
-$500...
814
00:28:18,281 --> 00:28:20,184
-STEVEN: Yeah?
-...can make you...
815
00:28:20,619 --> 00:28:22,891
-fifteen hundred dollars.
-Fifteen hundred bucks.
816
00:28:22,924 --> 00:28:24,393
-STEVEN: Triple my money?
-Yeah.
817
00:28:24,426 --> 00:28:26,030
-Within six...
-FAK: A couple, a couple months.
818
00:28:26,063 --> 00:28:26,865
Cicero's already in.
819
00:28:26,898 --> 00:28:28,501
-He gave us his drink.
-In on what?
820
00:28:28,534 --> 00:28:31,240
ROI on RBIs.
821
00:28:31,273 --> 00:28:33,144
That's kind of our,
that's kind of our,
that's the business.
822
00:28:33,177 --> 00:28:36,083
Do you know what?
I'm going to give you the $500.
823
00:28:36,317 --> 00:28:37,987
-Hold on. Hold on.
-FAK: Mm-hmm.
824
00:28:39,089 --> 00:28:42,296
Because whatever
you do with that
825
00:28:42,329 --> 00:28:44,400
is going to be
very interesting to me.
826
00:28:44,433 --> 00:28:46,170
-FAK: Yeah.
-And I, all I ask...
827
00:28:46,203 --> 00:28:47,406
-Yeah. Yeah.
-STEVEN: Okay?
828
00:28:47,439 --> 00:28:49,544
...one of you has to get
in touch with me weekly.
829
00:28:49,577 --> 00:28:51,147
-FAK: Okay.
-TED: We're making money.
830
00:28:51,180 --> 00:28:52,851
I wanna hear
when you open the boxes
831
00:28:52,884 --> 00:28:54,453
and when you go
through the cards,
832
00:28:54,486 --> 00:28:56,992
-I wanna hear
what's-what's in it...
-FAK: Inventory. Inventory.
833
00:28:57,025 --> 00:28:58,528
STEVEN:
...and more importantly,
what's maybe not in it.
834
00:28:58,562 --> 00:29:01,902
I actually... My dad
had a Roberto Clemente
835
00:29:01,935 --> 00:29:03,171
from... from
the Pittsburgh Pirates?
836
00:29:03,204 --> 00:29:04,239
-TED: Of course.
-A rookie card.
837
00:29:04,273 --> 00:29:06,210
But Michelle and I,
we tossed it when we moved.
838
00:29:06,243 --> 00:29:07,547
-What are you, fuckin' stupid?
-FAK: That's the stupidest thing
839
00:29:07,580 --> 00:29:08,749
-you've ever done.
-STEVEN: It was behind glass.
840
00:29:08,782 --> 00:29:10,553
Do you know what you could
get for that right now? $125.
841
00:29:10,586 --> 00:29:12,356
$125,000?
842
00:29:12,389 --> 00:29:14,427
FAK AND TED: $125.
843
00:29:14,460 --> 00:29:17,066
-You fuck...
-I'm really... I like
seeing you guys every year.
844
00:29:17,099 --> 00:29:18,334
You fuckin' deliver.
845
00:29:18,367 --> 00:29:20,004
FAK: What is that,
a bowling shirt?
846
00:29:24,246 --> 00:29:25,616
♪ Sitting in the water ♪
847
00:29:25,649 --> 00:29:26,584
(sighs)
848
00:29:26,618 --> 00:29:28,889
DONNA: Carm,
where the fuck are my saltines?
849
00:29:28,922 --> 00:29:30,425
CARMY: Yeah, I got it, Ma.
I got it. I got it.
850
00:29:30,994 --> 00:29:32,597
-Yo.
-MIKEY: Oh shit, sorry,
Carmy. I'm in your way.
851
00:29:32,630 --> 00:29:33,966
-Sorry.
-Yeah, yeah.
852
00:29:33,999 --> 00:29:35,570
Can I just...
I gotta get the saltines.
853
00:29:35,603 --> 00:29:36,905
MIKEY: Saltines?
854
00:29:37,807 --> 00:29:39,944
You're kinda acting like
a saltine, you know that?
855
00:29:40,478 --> 00:29:42,316
-Why?
-I'm not a saltine.
856
00:29:42,349 --> 00:29:45,455
Why? You're acting
like a saltine. Why?
857
00:29:45,488 --> 00:29:47,326
Why? Why?
What's going on with you?
858
00:29:47,359 --> 00:29:49,130
I know there's something.
Just tell me.
859
00:29:49,163 --> 00:29:50,933
-(sighs deeply)
-Come on, Carm,
I'm right here.
860
00:29:50,966 --> 00:29:53,572
What's going on?
I gotta drag it outta you?
861
00:29:53,605 --> 00:29:55,108
-What is going on? What?
-I just... Yo.
862
00:29:55,141 --> 00:29:56,578
I just, I thought,
I thought when I was back,
863
00:29:56,611 --> 00:29:59,083
I could work with you, alright?
At the spot.
864
00:29:59,116 --> 00:30:00,318
We could talk about the shop,
865
00:30:00,351 --> 00:30:01,386
'cause I've been
learning a lot of shit,
866
00:30:01,420 --> 00:30:03,626
and, I don't know,
I feel like I got some ideas.
867
00:30:03,659 --> 00:30:05,462
Yeah, but... (stammers)
868
00:30:05,495 --> 00:30:07,232
The place is no good, Carmy.
869
00:30:07,265 --> 00:30:08,501
It's-it's a fucking nightmare.
870
00:30:08,534 --> 00:30:09,938
-Like, trust me,
I'm doing you a favor.
-Yo.
871
00:30:09,971 --> 00:30:12,376
And I'd love to hear your ideas.
I would.
872
00:30:12,409 --> 00:30:14,246
I-I-I wanna hear
about you, I do.
873
00:30:14,279 --> 00:30:15,482
Also I don't need
you fuckin'...
874
00:30:15,515 --> 00:30:17,085
I don't need you
talking to Claire
875
00:30:17,118 --> 00:30:18,622
and acting all nice if you
don't actually give a fuck.
876
00:30:18,655 --> 00:30:19,657
You know?
877
00:30:20,458 --> 00:30:21,460
Wh-what?
878
00:30:22,362 --> 00:30:24,968
What are you talking about
I-I don't give a fuck?
879
00:30:25,001 --> 00:30:26,336
Why would you say that to me?
880
00:30:27,540 --> 00:30:29,143
Carmy, I give like a...
881
00:30:29,176 --> 00:30:30,612
I give like a huge fuck.
882
00:30:32,249 --> 00:30:33,552
-Yeah?
-Yeah. Fuck, yeah.
883
00:30:33,585 --> 00:30:34,955
-(timer ringing)
-DONNA: God fucking dammit!
884
00:30:34,988 --> 00:30:36,390
I mean, I give... I-I...
885
00:30:37,526 --> 00:30:39,463
I give like the biggest fuck.
886
00:30:43,404 --> 00:30:44,708
-Alright.
-Alright?
887
00:30:44,741 --> 00:30:45,676
Okay.
888
00:30:46,477 --> 00:30:47,547
Yeah.
889
00:30:47,580 --> 00:30:48,548
Hey, don't...
890
00:30:49,751 --> 00:30:51,722
I um, I got you...
891
00:30:51,755 --> 00:30:53,524
I got, uh, it's stupid.
I got you...
892
00:30:53,892 --> 00:30:56,030
-What?
-Actually, I got you something.
893
00:30:56,063 --> 00:30:58,067
-Can I give it to you?
-What, you got me a present?
894
00:30:58,100 --> 00:30:59,638
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I got you a present.
Just one second.
895
00:30:59,671 --> 00:31:00,973
Alright.
896
00:31:12,329 --> 00:31:13,230
Whoa.
897
00:31:13,598 --> 00:31:15,536
-Yo.
-What's this?
898
00:31:17,573 --> 00:31:19,376
Wait, before I, uh...
899
00:31:20,478 --> 00:31:22,149
why don't you give me, like,
900
00:31:22,182 --> 00:31:25,154
like, three things
about Copenhagen, man?
901
00:31:26,357 --> 00:31:27,459
Tell me.
902
00:31:27,492 --> 00:31:29,296
I don't know. Uh...
903
00:31:29,329 --> 00:31:30,398
MIKEY: Anything.
904
00:31:32,770 --> 00:31:34,440
It's the most beautiful place
I've ever seen.
905
00:31:34,473 --> 00:31:35,441
MIKEY: Yeah.
906
00:31:36,176 --> 00:31:37,045
Uh...
907
00:31:40,318 --> 00:31:41,721
I slept on a boat.
908
00:31:43,324 --> 00:31:44,292
And, uh...
909
00:31:47,098 --> 00:31:48,301
I fed an invisible cat.
910
00:31:48,334 --> 00:31:49,269
MIKEY: Hmm.
911
00:31:52,275 --> 00:31:53,310
Well, Carm...
912
00:31:54,279 --> 00:31:55,348
that's a home run.
913
00:31:55,381 --> 00:31:56,450
Yeah. Out of the park.
914
00:31:56,483 --> 00:31:57,620
MIKEY: Out of the park.
915
00:31:57,653 --> 00:31:58,756
Alright, go ahead.
Go ahead, go ahead.
916
00:31:58,789 --> 00:32:00,024
MIKEY: What is this?
917
00:32:06,070 --> 00:32:07,405
Oh, Carmy, that's a...
918
00:32:07,807 --> 00:32:09,343
It's like, it's like
a little bit rough,
919
00:32:09,376 --> 00:32:10,580
but I don't know,
it's something--
920
00:32:10,613 --> 00:32:11,714
No, man, that's...
921
00:32:13,752 --> 00:32:15,221
It's beautiful. That's...
922
00:32:16,090 --> 00:32:17,225
That's perfect.
923
00:32:19,529 --> 00:32:21,166
Yeah, Mike, we could, um...
924
00:32:23,805 --> 00:32:25,375
We could do this, you know.
925
00:32:25,408 --> 00:32:26,711
Yeah.
926
00:32:27,112 --> 00:32:30,085
-CARMY: Yeah.
-Yeah.
927
00:32:30,118 --> 00:32:31,053
Yeah, let it rip.
928
00:32:32,790 --> 00:32:33,826
Yeah, let it rip.
929
00:32:33,859 --> 00:32:35,194
Yeah, Carm.
930
00:32:37,399 --> 00:32:39,771
DONNA:
Carm, where the fuck
are the saltines?
931
00:32:39,804 --> 00:32:41,306
-I gotta get the thing.
-MIKEY: Okay.
932
00:32:42,175 --> 00:32:43,110
Alright.
933
00:32:44,446 --> 00:32:46,049
(Carmy clears throat)
934
00:32:50,191 --> 00:32:53,264
(cutlery clattering)
935
00:32:53,297 --> 00:32:55,468
(indistinct conversations)
936
00:33:05,689 --> 00:33:06,624
Alright.
937
00:33:09,764 --> 00:33:11,500
(timer ringing)
938
00:33:13,270 --> 00:33:16,343
("Dominick the Donkey"
by Lou Monte playing)
939
00:33:19,684 --> 00:33:22,322
Alright. Neil, you go.
940
00:33:22,355 --> 00:33:23,391
Solo. Go.
941
00:33:23,424 --> 00:33:26,263
Oh, yeah. Yeah!
942
00:33:26,296 --> 00:33:27,666
Yeah!
943
00:33:28,267 --> 00:33:30,539
Alright, Ted, you go. Solo.
944
00:33:30,572 --> 00:33:33,344
♪ ...his Paesans
with Dominick he'll be ♪
945
00:33:33,377 --> 00:33:37,319
♪ Because the reindeer cannot
climb the hills of Italy ♪
946
00:33:37,352 --> 00:33:38,321
♪ Hey, jing-a-di-jing ♪
947
00:33:38,354 --> 00:33:39,824
Now together, yeah.
948
00:33:39,857 --> 00:33:42,195
♪ It's Dominick the donkey,
jing-a-di-jing ♪
949
00:33:42,228 --> 00:33:44,166
MICHELLE: You understand
what I'm telling you though?
950
00:33:44,199 --> 00:33:45,703
-STEVEN: Yes. Okay.
The woman says what to you?
-MICHELLE: Okay?
951
00:33:45,736 --> 00:33:47,540
And then she said again.
952
00:33:47,573 --> 00:33:48,575
"What is your last name?"
953
00:33:48,608 --> 00:33:50,178
And I'm like,
"Fucking Berzatto."
954
00:33:50,211 --> 00:33:52,416
"“Oh marone! Berzatto!"”
955
00:33:52,449 --> 00:33:54,621
B-E-R-Z-A-T-T-O.
956
00:33:54,654 --> 00:33:56,324
"O."
957
00:33:56,357 --> 00:33:57,426
You're an asshole.
958
00:33:57,459 --> 00:33:59,196
And then she's,
and then she's like,
959
00:33:59,229 --> 00:34:01,300
"I bet you know
a lot about bears."
960
00:34:01,333 --> 00:34:03,772
God damn her for thinking
that you know about bears.
961
00:34:03,805 --> 00:34:04,874
Yeah. Damn her.
962
00:34:04,907 --> 00:34:07,512
And how did
that incredibly deep,
963
00:34:07,546 --> 00:34:09,584
incredibly penetrating insult
make you feel?
964
00:34:09,617 --> 00:34:11,588
-Like I was gonna
roll that bitch.
-Yeah, roll that bitch.
965
00:34:11,621 --> 00:34:13,391
Okay, now I feel like you're
missing some details here.
966
00:34:13,424 --> 00:34:15,395
You want... Okay.
You wanted to fight this woman?
967
00:34:15,428 --> 00:34:16,598
So were you being
an asshole maybe?
968
00:34:16,631 --> 00:34:17,700
What do you mean?
969
00:34:17,733 --> 00:34:19,571
Well, you just said
that you wanted to fight her,
970
00:34:19,604 --> 00:34:22,175
so I asked if perhaps
it was you that was the asshole.
971
00:34:22,208 --> 00:34:24,848
Um, are you listening?
Hello? I am not the asshole.
972
00:34:24,881 --> 00:34:26,484
-She's the asshole?
-That is a fact.
973
00:34:26,517 --> 00:34:28,589
And you go around
rolling assholes.
974
00:34:28,622 --> 00:34:29,591
That is also a fact.
975
00:34:29,624 --> 00:34:30,926
Okay, I'm caught up.
976
00:34:30,959 --> 00:34:33,599
Okay. Anyway,
so-so she says to me,
977
00:34:33,632 --> 00:34:37,472
She finally says to me,
"My friend who passed away--"
978
00:34:37,505 --> 00:34:39,343
-FAK: Sorry for your loss.
-It's not her friend.
979
00:34:39,376 --> 00:34:41,514
MICHELLE: You don't
have to apologize to me, dude.
980
00:34:41,548 --> 00:34:43,518
I don't know this fucking woman.
981
00:34:43,552 --> 00:34:45,756
-This woman was, like, annoying.
-RICHIE: Pay attention, Neil.
Pay attention.
982
00:34:45,789 --> 00:34:48,494
Why don't you listen
to my story?
983
00:34:48,527 --> 00:34:50,800
He's gotten to know her so well.
This story is taking so long.
984
00:34:50,833 --> 00:34:51,668
Yeah, but it doesn't matter.
It doesn't matter.
985
00:34:51,702 --> 00:34:53,204
The point is,
she finally says to me,
986
00:34:53,237 --> 00:34:54,506
"I have a friend
who passed away.
987
00:34:54,540 --> 00:34:56,812
"She was a biologist,
and she studied bears.
988
00:34:56,845 --> 00:35:00,317
"And did you know that bears
are kind and-and sensitive
989
00:35:00,685 --> 00:35:04,694
"and devoted and also, um,
altruistic and empathetic
990
00:35:04,727 --> 00:35:07,667
"and-and very commonly known
to be adept at grieving?
991
00:35:07,700 --> 00:35:10,505
-Is this true?
-How the fuck
would I possibly know?
992
00:35:10,539 --> 00:35:12,643
I-I couldn't tell
if this bitch was trying
to fuck with me or not.
993
00:35:12,676 --> 00:35:15,281
Did you say to her, just be kind
and empathetic like a bear?
994
00:35:15,314 --> 00:35:17,553
-Yes, I did.
-RICHIE: That all
does check out.
995
00:35:17,586 --> 00:35:19,355
I share a lot
of those traits actually.
996
00:35:19,723 --> 00:35:22,262
Also, it is important to note
997
00:35:22,295 --> 00:35:24,934
that bears are incredibly,
incredibly aggressive.
998
00:35:24,967 --> 00:35:26,370
And how were you
related to them again?
999
00:35:26,403 --> 00:35:27,305
-Through friendship.
-TED: Yeah.
1000
00:35:27,338 --> 00:35:28,776
-Like us.
-Not like you.
1001
00:35:28,809 --> 00:35:30,679
FAK: Yeah. We're related
through friendship.
1002
00:35:30,712 --> 00:35:32,650
-Whoa, whoa, whoa.
-Whoa, whoa, whoa.
1003
00:35:32,683 --> 00:35:35,723
I was hiking once
in Northern California,
1004
00:35:35,756 --> 00:35:38,729
and I saw a bear run up
a tree so goddamn fast,
1005
00:35:38,762 --> 00:35:40,699
and I did not like it at all.
1006
00:35:40,732 --> 00:35:43,271
When were you in
Northern California?
1007
00:35:43,304 --> 00:35:45,709
Um, most of my life
before we met?
1008
00:35:45,742 --> 00:35:47,279
And very weird that you are now
1009
00:35:47,312 --> 00:35:48,949
acting like I never told you
I'm from California.
1010
00:35:48,982 --> 00:35:50,318
What's super weird is that
1011
00:35:50,351 --> 00:35:51,888
you just said
Northern California.
1012
00:35:51,921 --> 00:35:52,957
That was weird how I said it.
1013
00:35:52,990 --> 00:35:54,561
I thought it sounded elegant.
1014
00:35:54,594 --> 00:35:55,830
-Super elegant.
-TED: Yeah.
1015
00:35:55,863 --> 00:35:57,700
Carmel-by-the-Sea,
looking at--
1016
00:35:57,733 --> 00:35:59,269
Bing-bong.
What you guys talking about?
1017
00:35:59,302 --> 00:36:00,806
STEVEN: Bears.
1018
00:36:00,839 --> 00:36:03,946
Oh! 85? 41? 63?
1019
00:36:03,979 --> 00:36:05,716
-Where are we at?
-No, the animal.
1020
00:36:05,749 --> 00:36:07,419
Oh, Mongo. Hey.
1021
00:36:07,452 --> 00:36:09,958
-What up, pimp?
-838 career tackles.
1022
00:36:09,991 --> 00:36:11,026
-Get some.
-TED: Get some. Take us there.
1023
00:36:11,059 --> 00:36:12,496
STEVEN:
A... a real bear.
1024
00:36:12,529 --> 00:36:13,565
-Take us there.
-Thank you, sir.
1025
00:36:13,598 --> 00:36:14,868
LEE:
Yeah. Steve McMichael.
1026
00:36:14,901 --> 00:36:16,638
Yeah. The man.
1027
00:36:16,671 --> 00:36:19,376
MICHELLE: We are talking
about an actual animal,
1028
00:36:19,409 --> 00:36:20,579
not a baseball player.
1029
00:36:20,612 --> 00:36:21,848
Oh, God.
1030
00:36:21,881 --> 00:36:23,619
These holidays are exhausting.
1031
00:36:23,652 --> 00:36:24,854
-(cutlery clattering)
-(indistinct yelling)
1032
00:36:24,887 --> 00:36:27,058
-DONNA: Okay. Oh, fuck!
-What the hell was that?
1033
00:36:27,091 --> 00:36:29,463
Yeah, it's just some
crazy person yelling "fuck."
1034
00:36:29,496 --> 00:36:31,601
-I'm gonna go
lend Auntie D a hand.
-ALL: No, no, no, no, no.
1035
00:36:31,634 --> 00:36:33,337
-LEE: Let him, let him.
-TED: Do not do that.
1036
00:36:33,370 --> 00:36:35,743
Go ahead, there's a garlic bulb
and a cross by the door.
1037
00:36:35,776 --> 00:36:37,312
Just don't make eye contact.
1038
00:36:37,345 --> 00:36:38,615
-Be careful.
-I'm sure she could use
1039
00:36:38,648 --> 00:36:40,986
an extra pair of hands
in there. Excuse me.
1040
00:36:41,019 --> 00:36:42,757
-Steven. Steven.
-(overlapping chatter)
1041
00:36:42,790 --> 00:36:44,861
There he goes. Don't get
your hand near her mouth.
1042
00:36:44,894 --> 00:36:46,397
MICHELLE:
This is a bad idea.
1043
00:36:46,430 --> 00:36:47,699
-It's gonna go well.
-MICHELLE: I don't think so.
1044
00:36:48,702 --> 00:36:52,643
♪ I want you ♪
1045
00:36:53,111 --> 00:36:54,747
♪ I want you right now ♪
1046
00:36:54,780 --> 00:36:56,785
(vocalizing)
1047
00:36:56,818 --> 00:36:58,387
(ringing)
1048
00:37:01,861 --> 00:37:02,830
SUGAR: That looks good.
1049
00:37:02,863 --> 00:37:04,900
-DONNA: Oh, fucking shit!
-Okay, okay, okay.
1050
00:37:05,334 --> 00:37:07,640
-DONNA: Fuck!
-It's okay, Ma. I got it.
I got it. I got it.
1051
00:37:07,673 --> 00:37:10,546
-It's like I fuckin' have to do
everything for everyone.
-SUGAR: No, no, no.
1052
00:37:10,579 --> 00:37:12,817
No one fucking
lifts a finger to help me.
1053
00:37:12,850 --> 00:37:14,621
Look, I'm getting it right now.
1054
00:37:14,654 --> 00:37:18,361
Can you just go upstairs
and get Dad's gun
out of my drawer,
1055
00:37:18,394 --> 00:37:20,900
and I think I'm just gonna
blow my fuckin' brains out,
1056
00:37:20,933 --> 00:37:22,537
and then you guys
can make dinner,
1057
00:37:22,570 --> 00:37:25,375
because I don't think
anyone would fuckin' miss me.
1058
00:37:25,408 --> 00:37:27,647
-No, no, Ma, Ma, you're good.
-Yes, you can finish dinner.
1059
00:37:27,680 --> 00:37:29,784
-You're good. You're okay!
-DONNA: You won't even miss me.
1060
00:37:29,817 --> 00:37:30,986
-You're okay! You're okay!
-DONNA: You won't even--
1061
00:37:31,019 --> 00:37:33,959
-Hey, Donna, Aunt D do you--
-Oh, motherfucking asshole!
1062
00:37:33,992 --> 00:37:34,928
-Fuck! Fuck!
-Out, out.
1063
00:37:34,961 --> 00:37:36,397
-Fuck! Come on!
-SUGAR: Okay.
1064
00:37:36,430 --> 00:37:38,400
-DONNA: Get the fuck out!
-Yeah. Okay.
1065
00:37:38,768 --> 00:37:41,641
Okay, I'm gonna,
I'm gonna take this out.
1066
00:37:41,674 --> 00:37:44,780
(ringing)
1067
00:37:46,483 --> 00:37:47,753
I'm gonna take this out.
1068
00:37:50,826 --> 00:37:52,663
-Natalie?
-Yeah.
1069
00:37:52,696 --> 00:37:53,765
You okay?
1070
00:37:55,134 --> 00:37:56,805
Will... Will you hug me?
1071
00:37:56,838 --> 00:37:58,073
Yeah, of course.
1072
00:38:03,652 --> 00:38:06,558
(indistinct conversations)
1073
00:38:06,591 --> 00:38:08,895
(sighs deeply)
1074
00:38:08,928 --> 00:38:10,064
(sniffles)
1075
00:38:16,009 --> 00:38:17,779
They won't fuckin miss me.
1076
00:38:25,929 --> 00:38:27,633
Things are like, you know,
1077
00:38:27,666 --> 00:38:30,171
really starting to
spiral out of fucking control.
1078
00:38:30,204 --> 00:38:32,843
Oh, we are past
the point of no return.
1079
00:38:32,876 --> 00:38:34,446
It's not good, you know.
1080
00:38:34,479 --> 00:38:37,452
(stammers) And now it's like
the next morning, right?
1081
00:38:37,485 --> 00:38:39,590
And we're like,
fucking rocked. Rocked!
1082
00:38:39,623 --> 00:38:41,828
Like, I look over at him
and I'm like...
1083
00:38:41,861 --> 00:38:44,099
Well, Jesus fucking Christ, man.
I'm like...
1084
00:38:44,132 --> 00:38:46,403
Because I'm looking at you
and I don't even recognize you.
1085
00:38:46,436 --> 00:38:47,172
MIKEY: It's like a monster.
1086
00:38:47,205 --> 00:38:48,809
(growling)
1087
00:38:48,842 --> 00:38:50,411
(overlapping chatter)
-RICHIE: I'm like, Michael?
1088
00:38:50,444 --> 00:38:52,515
Yeah, because you look
like a fucking monster, bro.
1089
00:38:52,549 --> 00:38:54,787
I was like, "Mikey?"
I couldn't even tell if it was--
1090
00:38:54,820 --> 00:38:56,190
(imitating Richie crying)
"Mikey, where are we?"
1091
00:38:56,223 --> 00:38:57,927
RICHIE: That's... That's not...
That's not exactly...
1092
00:38:57,960 --> 00:38:59,096
-That's not exactly right.
-Scared as shit. He was!
1093
00:38:59,129 --> 00:39:01,467
-That's exactly right.
-RICHIE:
That's not exactly true.
1094
00:39:01,500 --> 00:39:03,437
-MIKEY: We didn't know
where the fuck we were.
-FAK: Well, you were rocked.
1095
00:39:03,470 --> 00:39:04,874
We're in a foreign land.
You know what I mean?
1096
00:39:04,907 --> 00:39:06,878
And it's like, you know,
you can't read shit
1097
00:39:06,911 --> 00:39:09,082
because it's all, like,
a different fucking alphabet.
1098
00:39:09,115 --> 00:39:10,886
You can't fucking,
like, understand shit.
1099
00:39:10,919 --> 00:39:14,459
We just know we gotta get
to a fucking ATM, you know.
1100
00:39:14,492 --> 00:39:16,731
We've heard this story
a million times.
1101
00:39:20,772 --> 00:39:22,108
-I'm sorry?
-The story.
1102
00:39:22,141 --> 00:39:24,580
-Yeah, what?
-We've heard it a million times.
1103
00:39:27,619 --> 00:39:29,489
No, Lee, like, you have.
1104
00:39:29,522 --> 00:39:31,093
-And cousin has.
-I haven't.
1105
00:39:31,126 --> 00:39:32,963
-I have, but I like it.
-It's a good story.
1106
00:39:32,996 --> 00:39:34,867
Yeah, Lee,
chill out or fuck off.
1107
00:39:34,900 --> 00:39:36,103
-Keep going.
-Let us tell the fucking story.
1108
00:39:36,136 --> 00:39:37,640
Anyways, we have to find an ATM.
1109
00:39:37,673 --> 00:39:39,109
LEE: No no no,
I'll finish it. I'll finish it.
1110
00:39:39,142 --> 00:39:41,848
You sold the car,
and then at the end,
1111
00:39:41,881 --> 00:39:43,150
you find the horse.
1112
00:39:45,922 --> 00:39:48,695
Good for you, Lee,
that's... that's great.
1113
00:39:49,964 --> 00:39:51,668
You're like a real,
genuine fucking asshole.
1114
00:39:51,701 --> 00:39:53,070
Because-because
I cut off the story that
1115
00:39:53,103 --> 00:39:54,172
you've told a million times?
1116
00:39:54,205 --> 00:39:55,642
Why don't you finish
a business plan?
1117
00:39:55,675 --> 00:39:56,911
Alright, that's enough.
1118
00:39:56,944 --> 00:39:58,882
Where's the tomato sauce
prospectus, Michael?
1119
00:39:58,915 --> 00:40:01,487
-Where's the frozen pizza plan?
-MICHELLE:
Come on, you're veering.
1120
00:40:01,520 --> 00:40:02,656
That's, uh, that's enough.
1121
00:40:02,689 --> 00:40:03,691
It's okay.
1122
00:40:04,794 --> 00:40:06,597
-Hi, Unc.
-CICERO: Hey, honey.
1123
00:40:07,766 --> 00:40:08,968
Fuck's going on in here?
1124
00:40:09,970 --> 00:40:11,941
This jagoff's talkin' shit.
1125
00:40:11,974 --> 00:40:14,212
-Yeah? Which jagoff?
-This jagoff.
1126
00:40:14,245 --> 00:40:15,749
CICERO: What about, jagoff?
1127
00:40:15,782 --> 00:40:18,688
That is, I guess about
how I, like, don't finish shit.
1128
00:40:18,721 --> 00:40:20,826
Not stories. He finishes
those over and over.
1129
00:40:20,859 --> 00:40:21,961
Mikey, I mean, come on.
1130
00:40:21,994 --> 00:40:24,265
-MIKEY: Perfect.
-PETE: Ho, ho, ho!
1131
00:40:25,869 --> 00:40:27,205
We got a tuna casserole delivery
1132
00:40:27,238 --> 00:40:28,742
from the North Pole here.
1133
00:40:28,775 --> 00:40:30,779
-Speaking of jagoffs.
-STEVEN: Hey.
1134
00:40:30,812 --> 00:40:32,515
PETE:
Mikey, what is up, bro?
1135
00:40:32,917 --> 00:40:34,687
You know
it's seven fishes, right, Pete?
1136
00:40:34,720 --> 00:40:35,689
Yeah, I know.
That's why I brought this.
1137
00:40:35,722 --> 00:40:37,058
That's the eighth fish, bro.
1138
00:40:37,091 --> 00:40:38,562
Oh, what,
we can't have one more?
1139
00:40:38,595 --> 00:40:40,164
LEE: That makes
absolutely no sense.
1140
00:40:40,197 --> 00:40:41,934
I mean, I can't even
figure the logic of that.
1141
00:40:42,970 --> 00:40:44,072
What?
1142
00:40:44,940 --> 00:40:46,509
You're so fucked.
1143
00:40:47,846 --> 00:40:49,584
Uh... 'Sup, Steve?
1144
00:40:49,617 --> 00:40:50,919
Hey, Pete,
thanks for bringing fish.
1145
00:40:50,952 --> 00:40:52,690
-PETE: Yeah, thanks.
-CARMY: (claps) Hey, family.
1146
00:40:52,723 --> 00:40:53,992
Come on, let's sit.
Okay, dinner's ready, alright.
1147
00:40:54,025 --> 00:40:55,562
-Hey, no way, Carmy!
-Hey.
1148
00:40:55,595 --> 00:40:56,831
-What's up, brother?
-Hey, hey, hey.
1149
00:40:56,864 --> 00:40:58,000
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
What is that? What is that?
1150
00:40:58,033 --> 00:40:59,637
-Don't tell him.
-MIKEY: What do you mean
don't tell him?
1151
00:40:59,670 --> 00:41:00,939
It's nothing. It's nothing.
1152
00:41:00,972 --> 00:41:02,777
Steve? Steve? Stevie?
What is that? What is it?
1153
00:41:02,810 --> 00:41:04,246
You're gonna be upset,
but his heart was
in the right place, Carm.
1154
00:41:04,279 --> 00:41:05,815
-It's a tuna casserole.
-What--
1155
00:41:08,020 --> 00:41:09,857
-It's seven fishes. Pete.
-PETE: I know.
1156
00:41:09,890 --> 00:41:11,995
-They didn't communicate--
-CARMY: This would
make eight fishes.
1157
00:41:12,028 --> 00:41:13,264
That-that would
make us assholes, right?
1158
00:41:13,297 --> 00:41:14,499
I already told him that.
1159
00:41:14,533 --> 00:41:16,738
-MICHELLE: Swing and a miss.
-Why are you doing this to me?
1160
00:41:16,771 --> 00:41:18,240
-PETE: Okay. I--
-Just don't let her
fuckin' see it.
1161
00:41:18,273 --> 00:41:19,944
-I--
-Don't let her fucking see it.
1162
00:41:19,977 --> 00:41:21,581
I didn't know because...
1163
00:41:21,614 --> 00:41:22,616
What's up, bro?
1164
00:41:22,649 --> 00:41:23,885
-Hey, Rich.
-Hey.
1165
00:41:23,918 --> 00:41:25,288
-I'm so happy to see you.
-Hey, there's my girl.
1166
00:41:25,321 --> 00:41:27,292
Oh, my God.
1167
00:41:27,325 --> 00:41:29,029
-Merry Christmas.
-What the fuck is that?
1168
00:41:29,062 --> 00:41:30,766
-Um...
-No. Pete.
1169
00:41:30,799 --> 00:41:32,636
Pete, I told you
not to fucking do this.
1170
00:41:32,669 --> 00:41:34,574
I know, but... Well, I can't
show up empty-handed.
1171
00:41:34,607 --> 00:41:35,708
SUGAR: Ugh, it stinks.
1172
00:41:38,280 --> 00:41:39,215
Fuck!
1173
00:41:43,892 --> 00:41:45,629
Well, merry Christmas, guys.
1174
00:41:45,662 --> 00:41:46,631
Maybe somewhere.
1175
00:41:46,664 --> 00:41:48,902
I understand you were
just trying to be nice.
1176
00:41:48,935 --> 00:41:50,204
Thanks, Steve.
1177
00:41:50,973 --> 00:41:52,776
Good lights in
the neighborhood this year.
1178
00:41:52,809 --> 00:41:54,045
LEE: Same as last year.
1179
00:41:54,078 --> 00:41:55,047
PETE: No, there's more
this year. I noticed--
1180
00:41:55,080 --> 00:41:56,115
LEE:
Really, you counted 'em?
1181
00:41:56,149 --> 00:41:58,387
Do the Andersons still live
on the corner there?
1182
00:41:58,420 --> 00:41:59,991
-They're doing it up.
-They died.
1183
00:42:00,024 --> 00:42:01,260
You knock on every door?
1184
00:42:01,293 --> 00:42:02,361
Okay.
1185
00:42:02,729 --> 00:42:04,166
Is the bathroom
still right here?
1186
00:42:04,199 --> 00:42:05,367
Yep. It's over there.
1187
00:42:10,411 --> 00:42:11,947
-MICHELLE: Hey.
-Hey.
1188
00:42:12,415 --> 00:42:13,718
MICHELLE: How you doing?
1189
00:42:14,252 --> 00:42:15,889
-Yeah, you know...
-You okay?
1190
00:42:16,624 --> 00:42:18,060
I've been wanting
to talk to you.
1191
00:42:18,093 --> 00:42:19,797
You've been
running around like crazy.
1192
00:42:19,830 --> 00:42:20,799
CARMY:
Yeah, it's a lot, so...
1193
00:42:20,832 --> 00:42:21,967
Yeah, it's a lot.
1194
00:42:22,970 --> 00:42:23,905
CARMY: Yeah.
1195
00:42:25,241 --> 00:42:26,710
I have this idea
1196
00:42:27,411 --> 00:42:29,382
and I just wonder
if maybe you'd be open to it.
1197
00:42:29,750 --> 00:42:31,386
-What's up?
-MICHELLE:
Like for your own good.
1198
00:42:32,723 --> 00:42:33,925
What is it? What is it?
1199
00:42:34,927 --> 00:42:36,162
You wanna come stay with me
1200
00:42:36,529 --> 00:42:38,100
for, like, a couple of days
in New York?
1201
00:42:38,133 --> 00:42:39,068
Just like...
1202
00:42:40,204 --> 00:42:41,808
get the fuck outta here?
1203
00:42:41,841 --> 00:42:43,277
-Yeah.
-MICHELLE: You know.
1204
00:42:43,310 --> 00:42:45,414
I think it's really
important for you to
1205
00:42:45,447 --> 00:42:47,184
keep your head in the game,
you know.
1206
00:42:47,686 --> 00:42:51,059
Stay focused. Keep your eye
on the motherfuckin' prize.
1207
00:42:51,092 --> 00:42:52,796
Yeah. No, I hear you. Um...
1208
00:42:54,065 --> 00:42:55,300
Yeah, no, I'd like that.
1209
00:42:55,935 --> 00:42:57,906
I'm gonna kinda
hold you to it, Carm.
1210
00:42:58,273 --> 00:42:59,943
-Yeah?
-Yeah.
1211
00:43:00,344 --> 00:43:02,816
This is, um, this isn't
good for your head.
1212
00:43:02,849 --> 00:43:03,919
It's not good
for anyone's head,
1213
00:43:03,952 --> 00:43:05,087
but it's really
not good for yours.
1214
00:43:06,857 --> 00:43:08,193
-Yeah, I know, I know.
-Yeah, so...
1215
00:43:08,226 --> 00:43:09,963
But you know, what are you
supposed to do? You know?
1216
00:43:11,166 --> 00:43:12,368
You gotta get outta here.
1217
00:43:13,303 --> 00:43:14,907
That's what you gotta do.
1218
00:43:14,940 --> 00:43:17,211
You just come stay with me
any time you want.
1219
00:43:18,347 --> 00:43:20,084
I got a couple of restaurants.
1220
00:43:20,117 --> 00:43:21,721
I mean, I'm an idiot
about this shit,
1221
00:43:21,754 --> 00:43:22,856
but I think they're very good.
1222
00:43:22,889 --> 00:43:24,326
-You like 'em? Yeah.
-I do.
1223
00:43:24,359 --> 00:43:27,799
And then that way
you can just, like, decompress.
1224
00:43:30,170 --> 00:43:32,242
-Okay?
-Okay.
1225
00:43:32,275 --> 00:43:35,014
I see what happens here,
you know,
1226
00:43:35,047 --> 00:43:36,784
and I can see
how it gets in your head.
1227
00:43:37,352 --> 00:43:38,854
-Yeah.
-And I don't want that for you.
1228
00:43:39,488 --> 00:43:40,490
-Okay. Thank you.
-MICHELLE: Okay?
1229
00:43:40,524 --> 00:43:43,396
-Yeah.
-So you're gonna come?
Stay with me?
1230
00:43:45,802 --> 00:43:46,770
I'll try.
1231
00:43:50,277 --> 00:43:51,379
Thank you.
1232
00:43:51,681 --> 00:43:52,983
Keep going.
1233
00:43:54,887 --> 00:43:55,856
I hear you.
1234
00:43:55,889 --> 00:43:57,124
-Okay.
-Okay.
1235
00:43:59,062 --> 00:44:01,065
-MICHELLE: Love you.
-Alright, you too.
1236
00:44:05,942 --> 00:44:08,882
RICHIE: Oh wow. Nice.
1237
00:44:08,915 --> 00:44:10,518
TIFF: Just keeps goin'.
1238
00:44:10,552 --> 00:44:12,322
RICHIE:
Table looks great, D.
1239
00:44:12,355 --> 00:44:13,858
What do you want?
Where should we?
1240
00:44:13,891 --> 00:44:14,994
-RICHIE: Hey, we're over there.
-TIFF: Okay, cool.
1241
00:44:15,027 --> 00:44:16,798
Fuck me with a stick.
1242
00:44:16,831 --> 00:44:18,433
-RICHIE: Scooch forward.
-Okay.
1243
00:44:20,004 --> 00:44:21,139
Oh. You're sweet.
1244
00:44:22,441 --> 00:44:23,410
Thank you for that.
1245
00:44:23,443 --> 00:44:24,747
Okay.
1246
00:44:24,780 --> 00:44:25,949
CICERO:
You feeling better, hon?
1247
00:44:26,283 --> 00:44:27,452
Yeah. Yeah. Thanks, Unc.
1248
00:44:27,485 --> 00:44:29,155
I think a banana is about
1249
00:44:29,188 --> 00:44:31,326
all I can handle right now.
1250
00:44:31,359 --> 00:44:32,796
Maybe about
all I can handle, too.
1251
00:44:32,829 --> 00:44:34,298
I sense this getting dark.
1252
00:44:35,167 --> 00:44:38,140
-God, you got that feeling?
-CICERO: Mm-hmm.
1253
00:44:38,173 --> 00:44:39,209
Oh, yeah, I got that feeling.
1254
00:44:39,242 --> 00:44:40,344
I'm right there with you, Unc.
1255
00:44:40,377 --> 00:44:42,983
We lit.
This Christmas is lit.
1256
00:44:43,552 --> 00:44:45,454
You ever have
a chocolate-covered
banana, Tiff?
1257
00:44:45,487 --> 00:44:46,958
Yeah, of course I have.
1258
00:44:46,991 --> 00:44:48,794
You know, the drive
out here we actually, uh,
1259
00:44:49,128 --> 00:44:51,066
we passed the stand
1260
00:44:51,099 --> 00:44:53,436
my dad used to
take me to get 'em.
1261
00:44:53,738 --> 00:44:56,276
I swear to God, I can
smell 'em, you know, and him.
1262
00:44:56,578 --> 00:44:58,882
-TIFF: (chuckles softly) Hmm.
-It's weird, right?
1263
00:44:58,915 --> 00:45:02,322
We remember smells.
Cologne, you know.
1264
00:45:02,355 --> 00:45:05,829
Anyway, it's kinda been,
uh, sitting with me, you know,
1265
00:45:05,862 --> 00:45:07,833
-sitting on my chest.
-TIFF: Mm-hmm. Yeah.
1266
00:45:07,866 --> 00:45:09,369
And all of a sudden,
after all these years,
1267
00:45:09,402 --> 00:45:10,337
I'm missing that fat fuck.
1268
00:45:11,339 --> 00:45:13,344
Anyway, and here you are,
you're eating a banana.
1269
00:45:13,377 --> 00:45:15,013
-Anyways, kinda funny.
-Well...
1270
00:45:15,548 --> 00:45:17,385
Funny that
it's the holidays, too.
1271
00:45:17,418 --> 00:45:18,453
-You know.
-CICERO: Hmm.
1272
00:45:19,155 --> 00:45:20,926
All comes back up,
doesn't it?
1273
00:45:20,959 --> 00:45:22,095
It sure does come back up.
1274
00:45:22,128 --> 00:45:23,197
-CICERO: Oh, boy.
-Oh.
1275
00:45:23,230 --> 00:45:25,000
-CICERO: Oh, I get it.
-(Tiff laughs)
1276
00:45:25,033 --> 00:45:26,804
-That's clever.
-Is it clever or gross?
1277
00:45:26,837 --> 00:45:29,175
-(indistinct chatter)
-(laughter)
1278
00:45:31,881 --> 00:45:33,517
(indistinct chatter)
1279
00:45:33,551 --> 00:45:36,456
-Do you mind sitting
at the kiddie table?
-I don't mind at all.
1280
00:45:36,489 --> 00:45:38,127
MICHELLE:
You can sit at the kiddie table.
1281
00:45:38,160 --> 00:45:39,963
-I would prefer to sit
at the kiddie table.
-(laughter)
1282
00:45:41,166 --> 00:45:42,535
Who wants wine?
Want some wine?
1283
00:45:42,569 --> 00:45:44,806
FAK:
...understand the market.
1284
00:45:45,140 --> 00:45:48,213
MICHELLE:
It has a lovely bouquet.
1285
00:45:48,246 --> 00:45:49,884
I like your shirt,
it looks good.
1286
00:45:49,917 --> 00:45:51,386
He looks like Clark Kent
in his glasses.
1287
00:45:53,423 --> 00:45:55,928
(indistinct conversations)
1288
00:45:59,335 --> 00:46:02,341
Oh. Oh, I'm such an asshole.
I wanted to say thank you.
1289
00:46:02,374 --> 00:46:04,145
-What for, darling?
-Oh, for giving Richie a chance.
1290
00:46:04,178 --> 00:46:05,347
Oh, what? No, no, no. Wh...
1291
00:46:05,380 --> 00:46:06,951
-Uh, babe. Um...
-TIFF: What? Wh...
1292
00:46:06,984 --> 00:46:08,420
-You're embarrassed to say it?
-RICHIE: No, no, no, no.
1293
00:46:08,453 --> 00:46:09,890
-I can't talk about it?
-It's just not
public information yet.
1294
00:46:09,923 --> 00:46:11,159
-Just wanted to say thank you.
-We're just...
1295
00:46:11,192 --> 00:46:12,563
-What's not public information?
-RICHIE: Uh...
1296
00:46:12,596 --> 00:46:14,299
You know, Tiff and I
were talking earlier,
1297
00:46:14,332 --> 00:46:15,569
and I was just letting her know
a little bit about how--
1298
00:46:15,602 --> 00:46:16,571
What's not public information?
1299
00:46:16,604 --> 00:46:18,173
-Just how like when we...
-CICERO: Richard.
1300
00:46:18,206 --> 00:46:19,442
Richard, shut the fuck up.
1301
00:46:19,475 --> 00:46:21,012
Richard,
I'm talking to Tiffany.
1302
00:46:21,045 --> 00:46:22,181
I know, but we were
just saying, like, um...
1303
00:46:22,214 --> 00:46:24,418
CICERO:
Richard... shut up.
1304
00:46:24,887 --> 00:46:26,857
I'm having a conversation
with your wife.
1305
00:46:27,826 --> 00:46:29,663
-Tiffany, what were
you saying, my dear?
-Wh... Yeah.
1306
00:46:29,696 --> 00:46:31,433
I don't know what the fuck
is going on here,
1307
00:46:31,466 --> 00:46:32,468
'cause I was just
gonna thank you
1308
00:46:32,501 --> 00:46:33,571
for giving Richie a job.
1309
00:46:33,604 --> 00:46:35,307
See, that's not entirely...
1310
00:46:35,340 --> 00:46:36,577
-TIFF: It's not true?
-RICHIE: No.
1311
00:46:36,610 --> 00:46:37,746
Is that not
what's happening here?
1312
00:46:37,779 --> 00:46:39,917
-RICHIE: It's not not true.
-TIFF: He told me that...
1313
00:46:39,950 --> 00:46:41,152
Un-fucking-believable.
1314
00:46:41,821 --> 00:46:43,891
-He told you I gave him a job?
-Yeah, he told me he...
1315
00:46:44,593 --> 00:46:46,263
Yeah, he told me
that you gave him a job.
1316
00:46:46,296 --> 00:46:47,264
CICERO: Okay, look.
1317
00:46:49,101 --> 00:46:50,070
Here's the truth, alright?
1318
00:46:50,103 --> 00:46:51,941
I mean, you know,
I'm a big fan of this guy.
1319
00:46:51,974 --> 00:46:53,176
I believe in him. I do.
1320
00:47:00,625 --> 00:47:02,629
Which is precisely why
I gave him a fucking job.
1321
00:47:02,662 --> 00:47:04,131
Right?
1322
00:47:05,501 --> 00:47:07,972
Thing is, I just wanna
keep a lid on it for now
1323
00:47:08,574 --> 00:47:11,614
because I don't want
every jagoff in all of the land
1324
00:47:11,647 --> 00:47:13,317
to know that I have
all these jobs to give out,
1325
00:47:13,350 --> 00:47:14,318
which I don't.
1326
00:47:14,987 --> 00:47:16,356
Alright?
1327
00:47:16,389 --> 00:47:17,458
Right, Richard?
1328
00:47:19,328 --> 00:47:21,567
-Yeah.
-I'm sorry. I'm really sorry.
1329
00:47:21,600 --> 00:47:23,237
-I didn't know I wasn't
supposed to say anything.
-No, no.
1330
00:47:23,270 --> 00:47:25,174
My darling, how could you know?
1331
00:47:25,207 --> 00:47:26,510
TIFF: And I promise you,
I will not say,
1332
00:47:26,544 --> 00:47:28,948
I will not say a word
until you say that it's okay.
1333
00:47:28,981 --> 00:47:31,085
But I just wanna say
thank you so much
1334
00:47:31,587 --> 00:47:33,390
'cause we really
appreciate you.
1335
00:47:33,423 --> 00:47:34,626
And I appreciate you, too.
1336
00:47:36,262 --> 00:47:37,498
The both of you.
1337
00:47:37,531 --> 00:47:38,701
(indistinct chatter)
1338
00:47:40,370 --> 00:47:41,940
(mouths) Thank you.
1339
00:47:45,247 --> 00:47:46,182
TIFF: Oh, yeah.
1340
00:47:47,986 --> 00:47:49,389
Like, do I have to wait?
Can I pick?
1341
00:47:49,422 --> 00:47:50,659
CARMY:
She'll be out in a minute.
1342
00:47:50,692 --> 00:47:52,061
She'll be out in a minute,
I think.
1343
00:47:52,094 --> 00:47:53,263
-MICHELLE: Can I pick?
-Yeah, yeah.
1344
00:47:53,296 --> 00:47:54,532
Do you care?
1345
00:47:54,566 --> 00:47:55,500
CAROL: Go for it.
1346
00:47:55,534 --> 00:47:57,606
MICHELLE:
Don't we have
to say grace?
1347
00:47:57,639 --> 00:47:59,508
-CARMY: Yeah, she'll, she'll be,
she'll just be a minute.
-Yeah.
1348
00:48:01,112 --> 00:48:02,314
(sniffles sharply)
1349
00:48:03,584 --> 00:48:04,518
(sighs)
1350
00:48:05,087 --> 00:48:06,757
-(sniffles)
-CARMY: What's up, Ma?
1351
00:48:06,790 --> 00:48:08,427
(coughs)
1352
00:48:08,460 --> 00:48:09,528
I'm fine.
1353
00:48:10,798 --> 00:48:12,100
I'm good.
1354
00:48:13,203 --> 00:48:14,405
CARMY: Hey.
1355
00:48:14,438 --> 00:48:15,507
(Carmy clears throat)
1356
00:48:16,076 --> 00:48:18,548
Everybody's sitting down now.
1357
00:48:18,581 --> 00:48:20,250
You know,
everything looks so beautiful.
1358
00:48:26,597 --> 00:48:29,134
I don't think I can
do this by myself anymore.
1359
00:48:30,805 --> 00:48:32,407
You're not
by yourself, alright?
1360
00:48:33,476 --> 00:48:36,182
I'm right here with you.
1361
00:48:36,215 --> 00:48:37,986
DONNA:
Well, yeah, now, but...
1362
00:48:39,756 --> 00:48:41,393
Nobody out there
gives a shit about me.
1363
00:48:41,426 --> 00:48:42,427
CARMY: That's not true.
1364
00:48:45,100 --> 00:48:47,038
That's not true.
We all love you so much.
1365
00:48:47,071 --> 00:48:48,541
(indistinct conversations)
1366
00:48:51,547 --> 00:48:53,149
I had to beg you to come home.
1367
00:48:55,622 --> 00:48:57,090
I'm happy to be here.
1368
00:48:58,093 --> 00:49:00,197
Okay?
1369
00:49:00,230 --> 00:49:02,569
I am. Mom, I'm really
happy to see you.
1370
00:49:03,638 --> 00:49:05,240
Hey. Really.
1371
00:49:06,109 --> 00:49:07,311
Okay?
1372
00:49:07,344 --> 00:49:08,714
-(cries) Okay.
-CARMY: Okay.
1373
00:49:09,081 --> 00:49:11,186
-(sniffles)
-Okay. It's okay.
1374
00:49:11,219 --> 00:49:13,289
I just, I worked
all day for them.
1375
00:49:13,691 --> 00:49:16,128
-I worked all day.
-I know. I know.
1376
00:49:16,630 --> 00:49:19,134
Everybody-everybody
really appreciates it, too.
1377
00:49:20,203 --> 00:49:21,673
DONNA:
It's just fucking hard.
1378
00:49:24,378 --> 00:49:26,148
CARMY: (sighs)
Why, um...
1379
00:49:27,518 --> 00:49:29,455
What's hard? What's hard, Mom?
What is it?
1380
00:49:33,129 --> 00:49:35,200
I make things
beautiful for them...
1381
00:49:38,373 --> 00:49:39,275
and...
1382
00:49:40,044 --> 00:49:42,447
no one makes things
beautiful for me.
1383
00:49:50,765 --> 00:49:52,234
Okay. Um...
1384
00:49:53,704 --> 00:49:54,539
Look, I'm gonna go, uh,
1385
00:49:54,573 --> 00:49:55,641
I'm gonna go...
I'm gonna sit down now.
1386
00:49:55,675 --> 00:49:57,579
Why don't you give me
your hand and we'll go sit?
1387
00:49:57,612 --> 00:49:58,581
-We'll go sit.
-No. Okay.
1388
00:49:58,614 --> 00:49:59,717
CARMY:
Come on, Mom. Come on.
1389
00:49:59,750 --> 00:50:01,285
I'll go in a minute.
1390
00:50:03,123 --> 00:50:04,192
CARMY: Alright.
Well, I'll just wait.
1391
00:50:04,225 --> 00:50:05,093
-I'll wait for you.
-Okay, Michael.
1392
00:50:06,229 --> 00:50:07,364
I'll be there in a minute.
1393
00:50:10,170 --> 00:50:11,238
I said go.
1394
00:50:13,544 --> 00:50:15,414
CARMY: Okay. Um...
1395
00:50:15,447 --> 00:50:17,151
-I said go.
-CARMY: Are you good?
1396
00:50:17,184 --> 00:50:19,789
I'm good. Go. Go sit.
1397
00:50:22,562 --> 00:50:24,231
How about I just wait with you?
I'll wait.
1398
00:50:25,000 --> 00:50:27,673
Why are you treating me
like a child?
1399
00:50:27,706 --> 00:50:29,610
CARMY: I'm not, I'm not
treating you like a child, Mom.
1400
00:50:29,643 --> 00:50:30,645
I'm not.
1401
00:50:31,814 --> 00:50:33,116
Do we have a problem?
1402
00:50:34,452 --> 00:50:36,691
Do we, do we have a problem?
1403
00:50:36,724 --> 00:50:39,128
DONNA:
Do we have a problem...
1404
00:50:40,430 --> 00:50:43,269
Carmen Anthony Berzatto?
1405
00:50:44,271 --> 00:50:46,275
Do we have a problem?
1406
00:50:47,879 --> 00:50:49,148
No.
1407
00:50:49,482 --> 00:50:50,483
DONNA: Good.
1408
00:50:51,553 --> 00:50:52,622
CARMY: Oh. Mom.
1409
00:50:56,630 --> 00:50:57,899
It's okay. It's okay.
1410
00:50:58,266 --> 00:50:59,937
-(Donna crying)
-It's okay. It's okay.
1411
00:50:59,970 --> 00:51:01,506
-It's okay, okay?
-(kisses)
1412
00:51:01,540 --> 00:51:02,875
It's okay.
1413
00:51:04,211 --> 00:51:05,314
DONNA: Go sit down.
1414
00:51:05,347 --> 00:51:06,516
-Go sit down.
-Alright.
1415
00:51:06,550 --> 00:51:09,823
♪ We did last summer ♪
1416
00:51:11,560 --> 00:51:15,835
♪ I'll remember ♪
1417
00:51:15,868 --> 00:51:22,648
♪ All winter long ♪
1418
00:51:24,518 --> 00:51:26,823
(vocalizing)
1419
00:51:30,798 --> 00:51:32,401
(sniffles sharply)
1420
00:51:37,211 --> 00:51:38,881
MIKEY: Hey, uh, Tiff.
1421
00:51:38,914 --> 00:51:41,620
A little, um a little
something came up, huh?
1422
00:51:41,653 --> 00:51:43,490
A little bit
more than something.
1423
00:51:43,523 --> 00:51:45,227
-MIKEY: Oh, boy.
-TIFF: Yeah.
1424
00:51:45,260 --> 00:51:46,897
-You feeling okay?
-I'm good.
1425
00:51:46,930 --> 00:51:48,634
-MIKEY: Yeah? Good.
-How are you?
1426
00:51:48,667 --> 00:51:50,404
-Good.
-MICHELLE: Hey, Mikey.
1427
00:51:50,437 --> 00:51:52,642
-Yeah?
-You wanna say grace?
1428
00:51:54,311 --> 00:51:55,514
MIKEY:
I don't know, cousin.
1429
00:51:55,548 --> 00:51:57,451
Is this motherfucker
gonna cut me off?
1430
00:51:57,953 --> 00:51:59,556
(clears throat) It depends.
1431
00:51:59,589 --> 00:52:01,927
Uh, is it a grace we've
heard a million times before?
1432
00:52:01,960 --> 00:52:04,265
-CICERO: Okay. Okay.
-Oh, wow.
1433
00:52:04,298 --> 00:52:07,539
Uh, Steven, would you like
to say grace, my friend?
1434
00:52:07,572 --> 00:52:09,508
-MICHELLE: Oh.
-Can I please not?
1435
00:52:10,310 --> 00:52:11,747
-MICHELLE: You don't want to?
-I don't.
1436
00:52:11,780 --> 00:52:12,916
-Okay.
-I mean...
1437
00:52:12,949 --> 00:52:14,385
Okay, so then I'm going to ask
1438
00:52:14,418 --> 00:52:15,955
the same question
I ask every year,
1439
00:52:15,988 --> 00:52:19,395
which is, what the hell is
the point of the seven fishes?
1440
00:52:19,428 --> 00:52:20,932
-I don't get it.
-Oh, I know the answer.
1441
00:52:20,965 --> 00:52:23,938
Well, it's biblical, okay?
There's seven fishes.
1442
00:52:23,971 --> 00:52:26,811
And uh,
also by the manger, right,
1443
00:52:26,844 --> 00:52:28,815
there's a Dutch oven of potatoes
1444
00:52:28,848 --> 00:52:30,451
that burned the living shit
out of me earlier.
1445
00:52:30,484 --> 00:52:32,254
-(buzzes)
-CARMY: Oh.
1446
00:52:32,589 --> 00:52:33,958
Did you just throw a fork at me?
1447
00:52:33,991 --> 00:52:35,226
I did.
1448
00:52:35,861 --> 00:52:38,300
See that's the thing,
Lee, see, 'cause...
1449
00:52:38,333 --> 00:52:39,435
you see what you did, right?
1450
00:52:39,468 --> 00:52:40,972
You, you already did that.
1451
00:52:41,005 --> 00:52:42,909
You remember you already
bitched about the Dutch oven?
1452
00:52:42,942 --> 00:52:44,411
-You see, you did that before.
-Michael.
1453
00:52:44,980 --> 00:52:46,584
-What are you doing, Michael?
-MIKEY: He started it. Uncle J.
1454
00:52:46,617 --> 00:52:48,588
-Mike, just--
-Don't throw fuckin' forks
at people.
1455
00:52:48,621 --> 00:52:49,790
(mocking Lee)
Don't throw forks...
Don't-don't-don't...
1456
00:52:49,823 --> 00:52:50,992
LEE: Yeah, don't throw
forks at people.
1457
00:52:51,025 --> 00:52:52,294
MIKEY: Don't-don't-don't.
1458
00:52:52,327 --> 00:52:52,996
-Don't-don't-don't...
-It's a rule.
1459
00:52:53,029 --> 00:52:54,532
It's a rule? It's a rule?
1460
00:52:54,566 --> 00:52:56,604
Hey, Fak. You using your fork?
1461
00:52:56,637 --> 00:52:58,272
Yeah, I-I-I need it, Mike.
1462
00:52:58,908 --> 00:52:59,977
I need it.
1463
00:53:00,010 --> 00:53:00,678
Ple... Mikey.
1464
00:53:00,712 --> 00:53:02,481
-MIKEY: Yeah?
-FAK: Yeah.
1465
00:53:02,514 --> 00:53:03,951
-MIKEY: I just,
I need to borrow it.
-Please. Please.
1466
00:53:03,984 --> 00:53:05,320
MIKEY: I just need
to borrow it for one second.
1467
00:53:05,353 --> 00:53:06,690
-FAK: Please.
-CICERO: Michael.
1468
00:53:06,723 --> 00:53:08,561
I'm just gonna borrow it
for a second.
1469
00:53:08,594 --> 00:53:10,865
-I just need it for one second.
-FAK: Mikey. Come on, dude.
1470
00:53:10,898 --> 00:53:12,468
-CARMY: Yo.
-BOTH: Michael.
1471
00:53:12,501 --> 00:53:13,704
I threw the fork, Lee.
1472
00:53:13,737 --> 00:53:14,706
-STEVEN: Michael.
-MIKEY: See what I did?
1473
00:53:14,739 --> 00:53:15,440
-I threw the fork.
-TIFF: Michael.
1474
00:53:15,473 --> 00:53:17,311
-MIKEY: Tiff. Tiff. Shh.
-Please.
1475
00:53:17,344 --> 00:53:19,583
Cousin, you're
scaring the normals.
1476
00:53:19,616 --> 00:53:20,985
MIKEY:
This is fine. This is nothing.
1477
00:53:21,018 --> 00:53:22,689
This is... It's nothing.
1478
00:53:22,722 --> 00:53:23,825
Hey, Mikey,
can you hear me, buddy?
1479
00:53:23,858 --> 00:53:25,326
Not right now, Stevie.
1480
00:53:25,828 --> 00:53:27,431
-RICHIE: Cut it out.
-LEE: Rich.
1481
00:53:27,464 --> 00:53:28,701
MIKEY: Hey, look,
here's the thing.
1482
00:53:28,734 --> 00:53:30,437
You see, I can throw forks
1483
00:53:30,470 --> 00:53:32,308
'cause this is
our father's house.
1484
00:53:32,341 --> 00:53:33,310
-Mike.
-Rich.
1485
00:53:33,343 --> 00:53:34,580
-Lee?
-My father's house.
1486
00:53:34,613 --> 00:53:35,514
We have lift-off.
1487
00:53:35,548 --> 00:53:36,984
LEE: Okay, you got
everyone's attention,
1488
00:53:37,017 --> 00:53:38,921
so go ahead, tell us a story
1489
00:53:38,954 --> 00:53:41,359
we've all heard
a million times already.
1490
00:53:41,392 --> 00:53:42,662
-That's good, Lee.
-LEE: Yeah.
1491
00:53:42,695 --> 00:53:44,733
Tell a story about how
you're living with your mom
1492
00:53:44,766 --> 00:53:47,739
and you're borrowing money
off of her and any other sucker
1493
00:53:47,772 --> 00:53:48,975
who'll listen to your bullshit.
1494
00:53:49,008 --> 00:53:50,310
Lee, shut the fuck up.
1495
00:53:50,343 --> 00:53:51,714
You're one of
the suckers, Jimmy.
1496
00:53:51,747 --> 00:53:53,751
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I've told him.
1497
00:53:53,784 --> 00:53:56,891
I told him not to listen to you.
I told him not to help.
1498
00:53:56,924 --> 00:53:58,761
I told him to tell you
to go scratch.
1499
00:53:58,794 --> 00:54:00,030
Thanks a whole
fucking lot, buddy.
1500
00:54:00,063 --> 00:54:01,634
You come back next year, okay?
1501
00:54:01,667 --> 00:54:03,036
-Motherfuck.
-Ssh, ssh, ssh. Unc, it's fine.
1502
00:54:03,069 --> 00:54:04,038
-LEE: Yeah, it's fine.
-It's just totally fine.
1503
00:54:04,071 --> 00:54:05,507
It's fine. It's fine.
1504
00:54:05,541 --> 00:54:08,614
Because this guy's nothing
and he's nobody.
1505
00:54:08,647 --> 00:54:11,754
And I know you're-you're
scared and you're afraid,
aren't you, Michael?
1506
00:54:11,787 --> 00:54:14,091
And, Michael,
I don't know what,
what the fuck you're on,
1507
00:54:14,124 --> 00:54:17,097
but whatever it is, if you
can hear me through the fog,
1508
00:54:17,130 --> 00:54:18,500
throw another fork at me,
1509
00:54:18,533 --> 00:54:19,869
you're gonna get
fuckin' rocked.
1510
00:54:36,937 --> 00:54:38,506
Hey, Petey.
1511
00:54:40,443 --> 00:54:41,680
I just, I...
1512
00:54:42,414 --> 00:54:44,820
You think I could
just, like, borrow that
for one second? I just...
1513
00:54:44,853 --> 00:54:45,955
-MICHELLE: Michael! Hey!
Come on. Mike, come on.
Please.
1514
00:54:45,988 --> 00:54:47,458
-SUGAR: Michael!
-CARMY: Mike.
1515
00:54:47,491 --> 00:54:48,561
CICERO: Michael.
Put the fucking fork down.
1516
00:54:48,594 --> 00:54:50,832
-Michael. Michael. Michael.
-CICERO: Put it down.
1517
00:54:50,865 --> 00:54:52,434
Please don't do this.
1518
00:54:52,467 --> 00:54:53,637
Michael! Hey.
1519
00:54:54,038 --> 00:54:55,373
Hey.
1520
00:54:55,975 --> 00:54:56,877
Hey.
1521
00:54:57,477 --> 00:54:58,547
Hey.
1522
00:55:01,720 --> 00:55:02,755
I love you.
1523
00:55:03,456 --> 00:55:04,960
Okay?
1524
00:55:04,993 --> 00:55:06,395
I love you, too, Sug.
1525
00:55:08,734 --> 00:55:09,836
SUGAR: I'm begging you.
1526
00:55:11,707 --> 00:55:12,808
(whispers)
Don't do it.
1527
00:55:18,988 --> 00:55:21,827
STEVEN: (giggles) I'm sorry.
I giggle when I get nervous.
1528
00:55:21,860 --> 00:55:24,465
MIKEY: No, no, no. Steve,
do not apologize for that.
1529
00:55:24,498 --> 00:55:26,102
You fucking giggle.
Fucking giggle.
1530
00:55:26,135 --> 00:55:27,504
Fucking enjoy this.
This is fun!
1531
00:55:27,539 --> 00:55:30,612
-Michael, I need you
to calm down, buddy, alright?
-CARMY: Mike!
1532
00:55:30,645 --> 00:55:32,549
CICERO: There's
other people at the table.
1533
00:55:32,582 --> 00:55:33,684
I need you to calm down.
1534
00:55:33,717 --> 00:55:34,886
You're being
a bit of an asshole.
1535
00:55:34,919 --> 00:55:36,724
Thank you, Uncle J.
I'm fine.
1536
00:55:36,757 --> 00:55:38,894
That is the familial support
I was looking for.
1537
00:55:38,927 --> 00:55:40,598
Yeah, well, you're being
a fuckin' asshole, too.
1538
00:55:40,631 --> 00:55:42,736
Thank you for that too, Uncle J.
1539
00:55:42,769 --> 00:55:43,971
Go ahead.
1540
00:55:44,238 --> 00:55:46,509
-Let's go.
-Where do you wanna go, Lee?
1541
00:55:46,543 --> 00:55:48,112
-LEE: Fuckin' throw it.
-Yeah?
1542
00:55:49,749 --> 00:55:51,887
Yeah, throw it or put it down.
1543
00:55:51,920 --> 00:55:54,025
(Mikey laughs)
1544
00:55:54,058 --> 00:55:55,026
Yeah, come on.
1545
00:55:55,360 --> 00:55:57,598
MIKEY: Well, Lee,
you look like you bite.
1546
00:55:58,032 --> 00:55:59,736
You bite, Lee,
is that what you do?
1547
00:55:59,769 --> 00:56:01,740
-MICHELLE: Oh, my God.
-CICERO: For fuck's sake.
1548
00:56:01,773 --> 00:56:03,711
Your mother's been
working for fucking days
1549
00:56:03,744 --> 00:56:04,746
making this meal.
1550
00:56:04,779 --> 00:56:05,714
Have some respect.
1551
00:56:05,748 --> 00:56:06,917
There's other people
on this fucking table.
1552
00:56:06,950 --> 00:56:08,888
-Mike, stop!
-Shut the fuck up!
1553
00:56:08,921 --> 00:56:10,557
Throw the fuckin' fork!
1554
00:56:12,494 --> 00:56:14,031
-Here you go.
-CARMY: Sit down. Sit down!
1555
00:56:14,064 --> 00:56:15,735
MIKEY:
Oh, would you look at that?
1556
00:56:15,768 --> 00:56:17,906
I didn't throw it.
I didn't throw it,
you fuckin' pussy!
1557
00:56:17,939 --> 00:56:19,508
You fuckin' flinched! Look!
1558
00:56:19,810 --> 00:56:21,780
You did it again,
you fuckin' pussy!
1559
00:56:21,813 --> 00:56:23,751
Throw it.
1560
00:56:23,784 --> 00:56:25,654
I'm not on anything.
I flinch.
1561
00:56:26,455 --> 00:56:29,195
I still-- my brain's
connected to my nerves.
1562
00:56:29,228 --> 00:56:30,197
You monster.
1563
00:56:30,230 --> 00:56:31,633
MIKEY:
Yeah, I'm a monster, Lee.
1564
00:56:31,666 --> 00:56:32,836
You're a fuckin' monster.
1565
00:56:32,869 --> 00:56:33,704
-Nobody wants you here.
-LEE: You loser.
1566
00:56:33,738 --> 00:56:35,173
MIKEY: Nobody
fucking wants you here.
1567
00:56:35,206 --> 00:56:36,175
LEE:
You loser fuckin' monster.
1568
00:56:36,208 --> 00:56:37,211
Nobody fuckin' wants you here
1569
00:56:37,244 --> 00:56:39,148
with your big fuckin' mouth.
1570
00:56:39,181 --> 00:56:40,885
With your big fuckin' mouth!
1571
00:56:40,918 --> 00:56:42,622
-LEE: Fuckin' throw it.
-MIKEY: Yeah?
1572
00:56:42,655 --> 00:56:44,525
Go ahead, fuckin' throw it,
you fucking animal.
1573
00:56:44,559 --> 00:56:46,195
(braying) Yeah?
1574
00:56:46,228 --> 00:56:48,834
Yeah. Make it about you.
Make Christmas about you.
1575
00:56:48,867 --> 00:56:50,037
-(screeching)
-If you're such a tough guy,
1576
00:56:50,070 --> 00:56:51,506
throw the fucking fork.
1577
00:56:51,540 --> 00:56:52,775
You're nothing.
1578
00:56:54,579 --> 00:56:56,115
You're nothing.
1579
00:56:56,148 --> 00:56:57,517
You're nothing.
1580
00:56:58,119 --> 00:56:59,521
You are nothing.
1581
00:57:00,223 --> 00:57:01,525
You're nothing.
1582
00:57:03,730 --> 00:57:04,899
You are nothing.
1583
00:57:07,939 --> 00:57:09,041
You're nothing.
1584
00:57:16,623 --> 00:57:18,192
-CICERO: Oh, there she is.
-(clapping)
1585
00:57:19,328 --> 00:57:22,702
-Merry Christmas.
-RICHIE: Merry Christmas,
Auntie Dee.
1586
00:57:22,735 --> 00:57:24,105
DONNA: What did I miss?
1587
00:57:24,138 --> 00:57:26,844
(Donna laughing)
1588
00:57:26,877 --> 00:57:29,850
-What'd I miss?
-LEE: Nothing.
1589
00:57:29,883 --> 00:57:31,152
-I missed something.
-MIKEY: No, no, no.
1590
00:57:31,185 --> 00:57:32,722
-CICERO: Come on.
-DONNA: Oh, thank you.
1591
00:57:32,755 --> 00:57:34,258
Uh, Stevie, Stevie's
about to say grace, Ma.
1592
00:57:34,291 --> 00:57:35,427
-DONNA: Ooh, good, yes.
-No.
1593
00:57:35,460 --> 00:57:37,565
-MIKEY: Go ahead
and take it away there, Stevie.
-No.
1594
00:57:37,598 --> 00:57:38,499
-Yes, yes, yes.
-STEVEN: Uh, I don't...
1595
00:57:38,532 --> 00:57:39,903
MIKEY: Just fuckin'
say the thing, okay?
1596
00:57:39,936 --> 00:57:41,239
MICHELLE:
Come on. You can do it.
1597
00:57:41,272 --> 00:57:42,976
-STEVEN: Um...
-DONNA: Grace.
1598
00:57:43,009 --> 00:57:44,044
Um...
1599
00:57:45,113 --> 00:57:46,115
Hey. Uh...
1600
00:57:46,884 --> 00:57:50,257
-It's great that we're all...
-I'm sorry.
1601
00:57:50,290 --> 00:57:54,531
...that we're all together,
um, and healthy, I think.
1602
00:57:55,233 --> 00:57:59,609
Uh, no one's si...
physically very sick.
1603
00:57:59,642 --> 00:58:00,577
Uh...
1604
00:58:02,214 --> 00:58:06,589
I'm so grateful, um,
for this beautiful meal.
1605
00:58:07,324 --> 00:58:09,996
And, Donna, um...
1606
00:58:10,029 --> 00:58:11,867
What an incredible job
Donna did.
1607
00:58:11,900 --> 00:58:13,904
And I-I could,
I could hear in there.
1608
00:58:13,937 --> 00:58:18,012
It sounded very hard
and it's just gorgeous.
1609
00:58:18,045 --> 00:58:19,883
And is he still
holding the fork?
1610
00:58:19,916 --> 00:58:21,018
-Sure is.
-MICHELLE: Yeah.
1611
00:58:21,051 --> 00:58:23,056
STEVEN: Okay. Um...
1612
00:58:23,089 --> 00:58:24,257
Listen.
1613
00:58:25,828 --> 00:58:28,032
Everyone's asking what this...
1614
00:58:28,065 --> 00:58:30,170
What is the seven fishes
or why do we do it?
1615
00:58:30,203 --> 00:58:33,275
-MICHELLE: Mm-hmm.
-And I think I know
what my definition is.
1616
00:58:33,777 --> 00:58:35,914
Uh, as soon as I think of it.
1617
00:58:37,317 --> 00:58:39,622
It's a chance to...
1618
00:58:40,423 --> 00:58:44,264
be together and to
take care of each other.
1619
00:58:45,668 --> 00:58:47,303
And to eat together.
1620
00:58:47,772 --> 00:58:50,210
And there's seven fishes,
1621
00:58:50,243 --> 00:58:54,653
which means you have to make
seven entirely different dishes.
1622
00:58:54,686 --> 00:58:56,957
Seven entirely different ways.
1623
00:58:56,990 --> 00:58:59,729
And that takes a lot of time.
1624
00:59:00,664 --> 00:59:01,599
And...
1625
00:59:02,568 --> 00:59:06,108
I think spending that time
and using that time
1626
00:59:06,141 --> 00:59:09,683
on the people that we love
is how we show them
1627
00:59:09,716 --> 00:59:10,784
that we love them.
1628
00:59:13,356 --> 00:59:14,892
And maybe we eat too much...
1629
00:59:15,493 --> 00:59:17,832
and we definitely drink too much
1630
00:59:17,865 --> 00:59:21,639
and we say too much
without listening.
1631
00:59:22,040 --> 00:59:26,082
But... tonight we...
we're gonna eat
seven fishes...
1632
00:59:26,115 --> 00:59:27,217
(Michelle laughs)
1633
00:59:27,250 --> 00:59:28,353
...which is absurd.
1634
00:59:28,386 --> 00:59:29,655
Uh...
1635
00:59:30,123 --> 00:59:31,793
But we have to take
extra time to do it
1636
00:59:32,160 --> 00:59:36,201
and we have to chew more
and we have to listen more.
1637
00:59:38,272 --> 00:59:42,313
And, uh, we only get to do
this tonight one time.
1638
00:59:43,717 --> 00:59:44,351
So...
1639
00:59:45,286 --> 00:59:46,656
I, by the way, love it.
1640
00:59:47,390 --> 00:59:49,127
I love being here.
1641
00:59:49,528 --> 00:59:52,367
Thank you for having me
every year at this.
1642
00:59:52,400 --> 00:59:55,072
I look... I very much
look forward to this.
1643
00:59:56,108 --> 00:59:57,211
And I love you.
1644
00:59:57,244 --> 01:00:00,183
I-I-I'm very in love
with Michelle.
1645
01:00:00,618 --> 01:00:02,821
And I'm not gay
like you guys asked a lot.
1646
01:00:03,322 --> 01:00:04,859
But I was
thinking about what...
1647
01:00:05,327 --> 01:00:08,967
what you said about bears
and how they're aggressive.
1648
01:00:10,303 --> 01:00:12,875
They're aggressive,
but they're kind.
1649
01:00:13,910 --> 01:00:14,946
They're sensitive.
1650
01:00:16,950 --> 01:00:19,756
You guys
have been so kind to me.
1651
01:00:19,789 --> 01:00:21,259
You let me hang out
with you every holiday.
1652
01:00:21,292 --> 01:00:23,863
I don't have a family
like this and...
1653
01:00:25,033 --> 01:00:27,170
I'm really grateful that, um,
1654
01:00:27,538 --> 01:00:29,140
you make space for me
at this table
1655
01:00:29,709 --> 01:00:31,880
and you make time for me
on the holidays.
1656
01:00:36,957 --> 01:00:40,196
May God bless us
and keep us safe
in the New Year.
1657
01:00:40,229 --> 01:00:41,767
And please give
Michael the strength
1658
01:00:41,800 --> 01:00:43,202
not to throw that fork.
Amen.
1659
01:00:43,235 --> 01:00:45,040
-(laughter)
-ALL: Amen.
1660
01:00:45,073 --> 01:00:46,275
-I love you.
-I love you.
1661
01:00:48,814 --> 01:00:49,749
(Donna grunts)
1662
01:00:49,783 --> 01:00:52,020
Stevie, that was, uh,
that was beautiful.
1663
01:00:53,189 --> 01:00:54,725
-(whispers) That helps a little.
-Yeah.
1664
01:00:55,360 --> 01:00:56,729
(sniffles)
1665
01:00:57,497 --> 01:00:58,834
(sighs)
1666
01:00:58,867 --> 01:01:00,169
Yeah. Yeah.
1667
01:01:02,440 --> 01:01:04,144
It doesn't fuckin' matter.
1668
01:01:04,177 --> 01:01:05,146
Oh, Donna.
1669
01:01:05,179 --> 01:01:07,451
DONNA:
(softly) It doesn't...
1670
01:01:07,484 --> 01:01:10,223
SUGAR:
Ma, come on.
It's so beautiful.
1671
01:01:10,256 --> 01:01:11,325
So gorgeous.
1672
01:01:11,358 --> 01:01:12,895
RICHIE:
Thanks, Auntie D.
1673
01:01:12,928 --> 01:01:14,231
We love you so much.
1674
01:01:14,264 --> 01:01:16,201
-We love you.
-CICERO: Gorgeous, D.
1675
01:01:18,840 --> 01:01:20,343
-(sighs deeply)
-STEVEN: We can't wait.
1676
01:01:20,376 --> 01:01:22,013
Mom. Mom. Hey.
1677
01:01:23,215 --> 01:01:24,351
(exhales)
1678
01:01:26,288 --> 01:01:27,323
You okay?
1679
01:01:28,259 --> 01:01:29,528
MICHELLE: Oh, my God.
1680
01:01:29,562 --> 01:01:31,933
(Donna sighs)
1681
01:01:31,966 --> 01:01:33,469
Oh, Natalie...
1682
01:01:34,572 --> 01:01:36,174
Rose Berzatto...
1683
01:01:37,845 --> 01:01:39,983
do you know how much
I fucking hate
1684
01:01:40,016 --> 01:01:41,920
-when you ask me that?
-Okay.
1685
01:01:41,953 --> 01:01:47,531
Do you know
how much I fucking hate...
1686
01:01:47,565 --> 01:01:49,134
-SUGAR: Let's go upstairs.
-...that you ask me that.
1687
01:01:49,167 --> 01:01:50,370
SUGAR: Okay.
1688
01:01:50,403 --> 01:01:52,374
Do you...
do you ask the rest
1689
01:01:52,407 --> 01:01:55,146
of these people if they're okay?
1690
01:01:55,179 --> 01:01:56,349
SUGAR: No.
1691
01:01:56,382 --> 01:01:57,483
Uh...
1692
01:01:57,952 --> 01:01:59,521
Do I not look okay, Natalie?
1693
01:01:59,555 --> 01:02:00,957
Not really.
1694
01:02:02,561 --> 01:02:03,997
SUGAR: Let's go upstairs.
1695
01:02:04,030 --> 01:02:06,135
-Oh, fuck you, Michelle.
-CARMY: Hey, hey, hey.
1696
01:02:06,168 --> 01:02:07,572
-I didn't mean it like--
-DONNA: I do not look okay?
1697
01:02:07,605 --> 01:02:10,076
-I didn't mean it like--
-Did I not just bust my ass
1698
01:02:10,711 --> 01:02:13,116
all day for you motherfuckers?
1699
01:02:13,149 --> 01:02:14,451
I didn't mean it like that.
1700
01:02:15,120 --> 01:02:19,261
-This... is beautiful.
-MICHELLE: It is.
1701
01:02:19,294 --> 01:02:21,265
Am I okay?
1702
01:02:21,298 --> 01:02:23,102
Am I okay?
1703
01:02:23,671 --> 01:02:26,976
(screaming)
Are you motherfuckers okay?
1704
01:02:27,912 --> 01:02:29,381
Are you okay, Lee?
1705
01:02:30,918 --> 01:02:32,855
You didn't do shit!
1706
01:02:35,293 --> 01:02:38,867
This is fucking gorgeous.
1707
01:02:42,173 --> 01:02:44,411
Fuck you!
1708
01:02:46,181 --> 01:02:47,283
Fuck you!
1709
01:02:49,020 --> 01:02:50,122
Fuck you.
1710
01:02:52,427 --> 01:02:54,865
-(crying) Fuck you, Natalie.
-(footsteps receding)
1711
01:02:58,172 --> 01:02:59,308
MICHELLE (softly):
It's okay.
1712
01:02:59,341 --> 01:03:00,844
-(door shuts)
-It's okay.
1713
01:03:14,237 --> 01:03:16,910
(exhales)
Well, I guess we all knew
that was gonna happen.
1714
01:03:16,943 --> 01:03:18,312
So it's out.
1715
01:03:18,345 --> 01:03:21,284
And, uh, maybe everybody,
everybody can relax, huh?
1716
01:03:22,955 --> 01:03:25,093
MICHELLE:
Yeah, that's, uh...
1717
01:03:25,126 --> 01:03:26,863
That's the worst
I've ever seen her.
1718
01:03:29,635 --> 01:03:31,505
You fuckin' piece of shit!
1719
01:03:31,539 --> 01:03:34,210
(all yelling)
1720
01:03:35,279 --> 01:03:37,217
(screaming)
1721
01:03:37,250 --> 01:03:38,386
Get the fuck out.
1722
01:03:38,419 --> 01:03:39,656
(screaming continues)
1723
01:03:39,689 --> 01:03:40,925
Get outta here.
1724
01:03:40,958 --> 01:03:42,662
-(screaming continues)
-Hang on!
1725
01:03:42,695 --> 01:03:44,131
(screaming continues)
1726
01:03:44,164 --> 01:03:46,234
(yelling)
1727
01:03:54,117 --> 01:03:55,621
MIKEY:
Ma, what did you do?
1728
01:03:55,654 --> 01:03:57,257
(rattling)
1729
01:03:57,290 --> 01:03:58,927
Ma, open the door!
1730
01:03:58,960 --> 01:04:00,296
Open the door, Ma!
1731
01:04:00,998 --> 01:04:02,200
Ma!
1732
01:04:02,233 --> 01:04:04,471
-Ma, open the door!
-(banging on window)
1733
01:04:05,641 --> 01:04:07,110
Open the door!
1734
01:04:08,379 --> 01:04:09,347
Ma!
1735
01:04:10,316 --> 01:04:12,353
Ma! What did you do?
1736
01:04:13,189 --> 01:04:15,995
-(pounding on window)
-Ma, open the door.
1737
01:04:16,028 --> 01:04:17,230
Open the door!
1738
01:04:18,165 --> 01:04:19,467
Ma, open the door!
1739
01:04:22,507 --> 01:04:23,576
Ma!
1740
01:04:25,279 --> 01:04:26,616
Ma, what did you do?
1741
01:04:26,649 --> 01:04:28,252
(pounding continues)
1742
01:04:28,285 --> 01:04:29,656
Ma, open the door.
1743
01:04:29,689 --> 01:04:31,224
Open the door, Ma.
1744
01:04:31,793 --> 01:04:33,495
-Ma!
-(pounding continues)
1745
01:04:33,863 --> 01:04:35,332
Ma, open the door!
1746
01:04:36,603 --> 01:04:38,071
Open the door!
1747
01:04:42,413 --> 01:04:43,515
Ma!
1748
01:04:48,025 --> 01:04:49,260
-Ma!
-(pounding continues)
1749
01:04:51,599 --> 01:04:52,701
Ma!
1750
01:04:56,174 --> 01:04:57,644
-Ma!
-(pounding continues)
1751
01:04:58,078 --> 01:04:59,481
Ma, open the door.
1752
01:05:01,051 --> 01:05:02,119
Open the door!
1753
01:05:05,226 --> 01:05:08,734
(vocalizing)
1754
01:05:08,767 --> 01:05:12,675
♪ Could you ever know
how much I care? ♪
1755
01:05:12,708 --> 01:05:14,177
♪ How much I care? ♪
1756
01:05:14,210 --> 01:05:17,317
♪ Could you ever know
that out somewhere ♪
1757
01:05:17,350 --> 01:05:19,054
♪ That out somewhere ♪
1758
01:05:19,087 --> 01:05:21,458
♪ There's a boy
who really hurts? ♪
1759
01:05:21,491 --> 01:05:24,164
♪ Really hurts ♪
1760
01:05:24,197 --> 01:05:26,068
♪ Since I ♪
1761
01:05:26,101 --> 01:05:27,237
♪ I ♪
1762
01:05:27,270 --> 01:05:30,678
-♪ Found you ♪
-♪ Found ♪
1763
01:05:30,711 --> 01:05:33,182
♪ I found a girl ♪
1764
01:05:33,215 --> 01:05:35,588
♪ I found a thorn ♪
1765
01:05:35,621 --> 01:05:38,092
♪ I found a queen ♪
1766
01:05:38,125 --> 01:05:44,071
♪ Now I am warm ♪
1767
01:05:44,104 --> 01:05:48,747
♪ You told me you would move
heaven and Earth ♪
1768
01:05:48,780 --> 01:05:53,456
♪ Cheering my spirits
with laughter and mirth ♪
1769
01:05:53,489 --> 01:05:57,464
♪ Here I sit waiting
beside the tree ♪
1770
01:05:57,497 --> 01:05:59,467
♪ All by myself ♪
131336
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