All language subtitles for The.Alfred.Hitchcock.Hour.S01E12.Hangover.1080p.PCOK.WEBRip.AAC.2.0.H.265.-EDGE2020_track3_[eng]

("Alfred Hitchcock" theme music)

(steady instrumental music)

- Good evening and welcome

to "The Alfred Hitchcock Hour."

This object plays an important
part

in a new television series

we are in the process of
creating.

Since the public, or
at least the producers,

relish stories about the
military,

we will soon launch our own
series

about World War II.

World War II B.C., that is.

As wars go, I can't say
this is a favorite of mine.

I had hoped to get one
with a catchy title,

like the Wars of the Roses,

or The Whiskey Rebellion.

But of course they were
snapped up long ago.

This trend is not difficult to
understand

if you know it is an established
fact

that situations are more
dramatic

and jokes are funnier if
the characters involved

are dressed in uniforms.

This explains a large number of
shows

about nurses, maids, butlers, et
cetera.

Naturally, these remarks
have nothing at all

to do with tonight's story.

They are only meant to
divert your attention

so that our sponsor can sneak up
on you.

And here he is ready to pounce.

(dramatic piano music)

(upbeat jazzy music)

(whimpering)

(wailing)
(suspenseful music)

(mellow jazzy music)

- Oh, hangover.

What happened?

Must have blacked out.

This is the worst one yet.

Sandy's going to raise, you
know.

Like yesterday morning, at
breakfast.

- Hurry up, Had, you're late
already.

Three times this week.

- I feel so lousy.

Give me a little sympathy, huh?

- It's your own fault.

You don't have to go
through it every morning.

- If I don't, who will?

Hey, I couldn't find my lucky
necktie.

The one with the stripe in it.

- Start your breakfast, I'll
find it.

(ominous music)

(steady jazzy music)

Oh no, ad, not wine.

Not first thing in the morning.

- It's cooking sherry.

I'm cooking with it.

It's an old Purvis family
recipe.

Hadley Purvis' instant morning
joy.

- I don't think you're very
amusing.

- Well I needed an eye-opener.

There's nothing else around the
house.

- I suppose not.

You managed to drink
everything up the night before.

Here's your tie.

- Thank you, my little help
mate.

What would I do without you?

- I don't know, but you may
have the chance to find out.

- Sandy.

Don't be so serious.

- I am serious.

And you should be too.

You're ruining your life and
you're ruining your career

with your drinking.

- Now just a minute.

It's my idea, my campaign the
agency

is presenting to the client
today.

- It's just about your last
chance and you know it.

Had, I can't take any
more with your drinking

and carrying on.

- You make me sound like an
alcoholic.

- You are.

- Don't say that, don't ever say
that.

I'm not.

- You won't face it, but I have
to.

The next time, the very next
time

you go on a binge, I'm
leaving you, for good.

- Sandy.

Oh come on, don't be so mad.

(door slamming)

Sandy?

You can't.

You can't!

(ominous music)

(upbeat jazzy music)

Sandy.

- Morning, honey.

- You're not Sandy.

- Well I should hope not, I'm
Marion.

- Where'd you come from?

- Nice present, huh?

Santa didn't bring me, you did.

You want me to fix you some
eggs, honey?

- You'd better get out of here
fast

before my wife finds you.

Or has she already?

- Your old lady?

Why worry?

You weren't worrying last night.

(ominous music)

(upbeat jazzy music)
(people chattering)

- Scotch on the rocks.

Easy on the rocks.

- We're closing up, it's close
to 3:00.

- I won't tell anyone if you
won't.

I want a drink!

- Get out of here.

We don't want any trouble.

- You're a fink.

I'm a fink.

You're all finks!

All finks!

I'll buy all finks drinks!

(laughing)

I'll buy all finks drinks.

Come on, set 'em up.

You're a fink.

- I'm a fink?

- Cliff.
- Yeah.

- I'll take care of the drunk.

- He's all yours.

- You're all finks!

I'll buy all finks drinks.

(laughing)

Hey, hey.

Set 'em up.

I'll buy all finks drinks.

- Hello honey.

I hear you want a drink.

I'll get you one, by the bar.

- Lady, you must have
pull around this joint.

- It's just my good looks.

- Where are we going?

- Let's sit down.

We have to be careful about the
drinks.

- It's dark in here.

- Just be careful.

Don't worry, I'll take care of
you.

- Now you sound like Sandra.

- I don't want to sound
like no one except myself.

What's your name, honey?

- Had.

- Had?

That's a real mad name.

What is it, Had one, Had
two, Had how many, Had?

- Had enough!

- I didn't mean to make you
sore, honey.

You haven't even told me
that you liked me yet.

- Haven't I?

It's my error.

My oversight.

My loss.

I think you're lovely.

You're gorgeous, you're
adorable, you're desirable.

You're the eternal woman.

You're all women rolled up into
one.

Yet, I don't even know your
name.

- Marion.

- Oh, that's a beautiful name.

Marion.

Shades of Maid Marion herself.

Let's run away someplace.

We'll start life anew in the
forest dell

or a desert island.

- No, it's really no fun
at all being alone, is it?

- No.

But we'll go away.

Have plenty of money, no
worries.

What do you think of that,
Sandra?

- I think you're stoned.

(ominous music)

- You gotta tell me the truth.

Tell me what happened.

- You don't remember?

- When we got back here,

did you have a fight with
Sandra?

- No, honey, I sure didn't.

She wasn't even here.

You know what?

I don't miss her a bit.

(light ominous music)

(ominous music)

(upbeat jazzy music)

- I have to get to the office.

- Can't hear!

- I have to get to the office.

I'm late now.

- Okay honey.

- No it's not okay.

When I get back, I want to find
you gone.

- Now that's no way to talk,
honey.

- Marion, be a sweet child, be
reasonable.

If Sandra finds you here,

she could sue me for broke.

No dough, no fun.

You wouldn't like that, would
you?

- No.

But I like you.

- You better go home.

I'll see you at the club.

(light ominous music)

(suspenseful music)

- I'm afraid, Mr. Purvis.

You can't go in there.

- What do you mean, Albert?

I can't go into my own office.

- I'm sorry, Mr. Purvis,

those are Mr. Driscoll's orders.

He told me himself.

- Alright Albert, get me
Mr. Driscoll on the phone.

- And he said he didn't
want to talk to you.

- See about that.

- Had.

Why not save yourself
further embarrassment?

- He wouldn't believe me, Mr.
Hunter.

- Well well, my old colleague.

What are you doing in my office,
Bill?

- If you don't remember,
you'd better come in.

(chuckling)

- Well Bill, I always
knew you wanted my job.

I didn't think you'd get it
overnight.

- I didn't get your job, Had.

You kicked yourself out of it.

- I'm fired.

- That's it.

And you can't blame Dave
Driscoll.

- What happened, the Colton
bunch didn't like the campaign?

- [Bill] Well--
- Don't interrupt me, Bill.

Whole kit and caboodle.

Newspapers, magazines, radio,
television.

It was all my idea.

I worked on it for a full eight
months.

- Do you mean to tell me
that you don't remember

that you were staggering
drunk at the presentation?

- What?

- Are you putting on an act?

- No!

Bill, I don't remember.

I don't remember!

- If you say so.

It doesn't make any difference.

Not any more.

You've really ripped it.

You've ripped it for good.

- It started in the bar.
(ominous music)

In the convention room at the
hotel.

I'll have a very dry martini,
please.

- Sorry sir, but that bar was
closed

when the meeting started.

- That's odd, I'm the
meeting, and I just got here.

- Well maybe they don't know
that.

- And gentlemen, the chart
indicates

the best available estimate
in the various media,

as you can see for yourselves.

Now in magazines, we have
14,270,616.

Newspapers, 174,922,707.

For radio spots, 68,919,445.

- You ever seen me make
a 10 dollar bill appear?

- Nope.

- Turn around.

Alright.

- Well, thank you sir.

- I need a glass.

You have one in your hand.

- Yes sir.

- I may not be Houdini,
but I'm working at it.

- Outdoor billboards and so on,
7,243,555.

Television, 337,780,322.

Making a grand total of
603,136,641.

And with this combined
impact in all the media,

confined to the post
announcement period of six
weeks,

then the cost per viewer or
listener

is reduced to, to a very
respectable minimum.

Are there any questions?

Well good, I thought there
wouldn't be.

I think the little pamphlet we
passed out is very explicit.

We've tried to indicate
exactly what we have in mind

for the entire campaign,

and of course we intend to give
everyone

a certain amount of
leeway in this whole area.

Well, let's all turn to page 19,
shall we,

of the little booklet that
you have in your hands there?

Now, on page 19, which is
in reference to billboards,

outdoor spots, we are carrying
on

I think a rather subtle campaign
there.

We are carrying on a campaign
to do away with billboards

sponsored by the--

- Had, where the devil have you
been?

- Good evening, William.

- Driscoll's been
looking all over for you.

He's beginning to get pretty
sore.

That meeting has been going on
in there

for about two years.

- Yes I heard Cushman
putting everybody to sleep.

You know, next year we've got to
get

an alarm clock account to
keep our other clients awake.

- There may not be a next year.

- Oh don't be so grim.

What you need is a drink, old
man.

Fix this fella up.

- Not now.

Alright Had, you can't pretend
not to know

how important this is.

- I know.
- Then act like it.

Alright Had, you're here.

The whole ball of wax is yours.

We've been stalling 'til you got
here.

- On with the dance.

- Now, everything's riding on
this.

If you have any doubts.

- Bill, old buddy, take me to
your leader.

- Okay.

I'll tell Driscoll you're ready.

Are you alright?

- I'm fine.

And lay off the inquisition.

- We try to make it so
that everyone concerned--

(muttering under breath)

- Certain amount of initiative

and they campaign in his own
area.

However, there are certain
guidelines

that we try to put down
so that there will be

more or less a unanimity of
approach

throughout the entire country
on our latest campaign.

- Do you have a pitcher?

- Yes.

Here you are.

- Ordinary water glass?

(liquid pouring)

Thank you.

I must recommend you to
all the youth hostels.

- Thank you.

- Well gentlemen, we've
heard from marketing

and merchandising, and now
we come to the high point

of our campaign, the
sales messages themselves.

Which will blast out additional
sales

from a highly competitive
market for Colton Cars.

And now the man who is
responsible for this campaign,

our creative director, Mr.
Hadley Purvis.

Had.
(all applauding)

- A funny thing happened
on the way to the office.

It rained.

Not enough to stop the drought,
though.

I'm supposed to have a flip-flop
here,

where's the flip-flop?

- It's backstage, Had.

- Are you sure?

- Yes, I saw it.

- Well, if you saw it,
that's good enough for me.

Oh.

(wood rattling)

It's bigger than a grand piano.

Try taking that home
on the subway sometime.

Rush hour.

Now this agency client
presentation is important.

Because it will determine
and later be shown

in the dealer meetings
throughout the country.

The dealers...

(coughing)
(gentle ominous music)

Now, as I was saying.

As I was saying,

we considered and discarded
31 different themes

for this new campaign.

Before finally determining upon

the Colton Cosmic, opening
the space age to the highways.

Colton Cosmic.

Out of this world with the
Cosmic.

- Question.

- Had, Mr. Blake would
like to ask you a question.

- Certainly.

- I'm a little confused, Mr.
Purvis.

You said the new theme was going
to be

the Colton Cosmic, opening
the space age to the highways,

but now you indicate out of
this world with a Cosmic.

I don't understand.

- Yes, I did say that, Mr.
Blake.

And there's a good reason.

A very good reason.

(coughing)
(gentle ominous music)

Let me explain it to
you in just one minute.

Now.

You ask me

why we have two different
themes.

Well we don't have two
different--

We don't have two different
themes.

But the same theme, but
differently, is that clear?

- No.

I'm sorry, but it isn't.

- Well.

Let me see if I can put
it a different way then.

We have Colton Cosmic opening
the space age to the highways.

Then we have the other one.

Out of this world with a Cosmic.

Now.
(clearing throat)

Here we have again, as you can
see,

opening the space age, et
cetera et cetera, et cetera.

- Mr. Blake, Had is saying that
the theme,

opening the space age to the
highways,

is for magazines and newspapers.

The other is for radio and TV.

- That's one way of putting it.

As a matter of fact, it's
correct.

I guess that answers
your question, Mr. Blake.

- [Mr. Blake] No not quite, Mr.
Purvis.

Why use another slogan for radio
and TV?

- Right.

(clearing throat)

Now.

You've asked me a very good
question.

(coughing)

- Blake, the theme, out of
this world with a Cosmic,

is better adapted to music.

- Exactly.

I'll thank you Mr. Hunter to
let me handle the explanations.

Mr. Blake.

Who would ever try to sing with
music,

"Out of this world--"

No, "Colton Cosmic, opening the
space age

"to the highways!"

Well, my voice isn't very good.

(clearing throat)

Now we try.

* Out of this world with a
Cosmic *

Do you know what I mean?

- Well gentlemen, we may as well

continue this meeting after
dinner.

It's late, and I'm sure we're
all hungry.

- Anything you say, David.

I could also use some fresh air.

And a drink.

- See you later, Bob.

Go home Purvis, you're through.

And don't bother to clean out
your desk.

We'll send your things and your
check.

- I didn't think you had
enough nerve to fire me, putzy.

I'm not worried.

- But a lot of other people
whose job

you've put in jeopardy are.

You're a clever man, Purvis.

A real personality kid.

But this town is full of clever
men

who can hold their liquor.

Goodbye.

* Out of this world with a
Cosmic *

- Completing the first half of
our play

has so exhausted our actors
that they need a rest.

However, in television,

it is a cardinal sin to allow
the viewer

a single moment when his ears
and eyes

are not assaulted by sound and
fury.

Therefor, we shall now
ask your local stations

to take up the battle.

And now, ladies and
gentlemen, a commercial,

after which we shall show a few
scenes

from this weeks show.

(dramatic music)

(suspenseful music)

- Oh yes.

Now I remember.

- There isn't anything
more to say, is there?

- Wrong.

I need a drink.
(dramatic music)

(gentle music)

- Mr. Purvis.

- Albert.

To what do I owe the intrusion?

- Well, I didn't get a
chance to talk to you

before you left the office,

and I wanted to tell you how
sorry I was

about how all this worked out.

- Thank you very much, Albert.

That's very very kind.

- Well, when Mr. Driscoll
came in so angry this morning,

I didn't want to tell you
you couldn't go into your--

- I understand now, but that's
very nice of you to tell me.

Thank you very much.

- You know, we're gonna
miss you around there.

You've helped me an awful lot.

You've been very nice to me,

and you know, I've learned
something from you.

- I've taught you
abstemiousness.

Beware of demon rum, Albert.

- You know, Mr. Driscoll doesn't
believe

in paying us very much.

I don't know how to say this.

I don't want to trouble
you with this at this time,

but, well, do you remember
the errand you sent me on?

Yes, you know, that day
that you had a cold.

Well you remember, you
came to me and you told me

you had a cold, and you sent
me out to the liquor store.

- Yes.

- Well, well I had to pay for
that out of my own pocket.

- How much do I owe you, Albert?

- Well I have a receipt right
here.

- I don't want the receipt.

Just tell me how much I owe you.

- Seven dollars and 70 cents.

- Buy your mother a present.

- Gee thank you, Mr. Purvis,

and I'm sorry--
- You're a nice boy, Albert.

- I'm sorry I bothered
you at a time like this.

- Thank you Albert.

- Mr. Purvis.

- I don't want the receipt,
Albert.

- Oh this isn't mine, it
fell out of your wallet.

(gentle music)

- [Hadley] The Sweaterama.

What did I buy for 10 dollars?

Was it?

I can't make it out.

I must have bought it
sometimes last night.

But what was it?

Thank you very much, Albert.

- Oh thank you, Mr. Purvis, and
good luck.

(steady jazzy music)

- Hello.

- Good evening.

- This is Sweaterama, isn't it?

I must have gotten this here.

- What do you want to do,
exchange it?

I'm not surprised, I thought you
would.

- Say, you do look--

Have I seen you before?

- You certainly have.

Last night.

- That's right.

You waited on me.
(dramatic music)

- Good evening, sir.
(gentle music)

May I help you?

- May I ask you a question?

- Certainly, sir.

- Do you think I'm drunk?

- Why, no sir, not necessarily.

Oh, a drink or two before
dinner, perhaps?

Is that all you wanted?
- A drunk can't go shopping?

A drunk can't buy anything.

I'm sober, I'm perfectly sober.

I'm gonna buy something to
prove I'm not drunk, right?

- Well, I suppose if
you bought something--

- And Sandra can't say I was
drunk.

Prove to Driscoll and Blake I'm
not drunk.

- I'm sure I don't know
what you're talking about.

- A nice present.

- Here we have a string of
genuine cultured pearls.

Exquisite, solid gold clasp.

Only 50 dollars.

- No, that's too much.

Everybody would say I was drunk.

What's that over there?

- That's a silk scarf.

It's only 10 dollars.

- Oh yes.

Now that's very pretty, I'll
take it.

- Would you like me to gift wrap
it?

- No thanks, I don't have time.

- I'll put it in the bag.

That'll be 10 dollars.

I'll give you a receipt.
- Thank you.

Thank you very much.

- Good night.
(dramatic music)

Would you like to exchange
the scarf for something else?

Would you like to exchange
the scarf for something else?

- No, I'll keep it.

Did I say where I was going last
night?

- No.

- I didn't use your telephone?

- You didn't.

- Oh.

Thank you very much.

(gentle jazzy music)

Sandy?

(water running)

Sandy.

Sandy?

- Oh, I thought I heard you,
honey.

- Didn't I tell you to get out?

- I guess so.

- May I speak to Mr. Hunter,
please?

Bill, Had Purvis.

I'm awfully sorry to bother you
at home.

No, I just wanted to ask you one
question.

Did either you or Driscoll
call Sandra last night,

give her the bad news?

No I didn't think you had.

Well I haven't seen her
since yesterday morning.

- Pretty pajamas Sandra left
behind.

- Thank you very much.

I'm awfully sorry to have
bothered you.

- Guess she got sore
and went to some hotel.

When she runs out of
money, she'll come home.

You won't be here, will you,
honey?

You'll be Marion, won't you?

- I told you this morning to get
out.

Now pack and get going.

I'll call you a cab.

- Not so fast, Mr. Purvis.

Who do you think you
are, ordering me around?

- Oh get lost.

- And after all the lousy
time I've wasted on you.

- You make me sick.

- Let me tell you, you creep,
you drunk.

When you're loaded, you're
revolting and disgusting.

- Send a cab to 1432 South
North,

will you please?
- No woman in her right mind

would spend two seconds with
you.

- Oh shut up!

- And I don't blame your old bag
of a wife

for running out on you!
- Shut up!

(smacking)
(dramatic music)

(gasping)

(dramatic music)

(gentle jazzy music)

Your cab is here.

I said your taxi is out front.

- I heard you.

- Marion, I'm awfully
sorry I lost my temper.

- I should say you did.

- I never did anything like that
before.

Nerves, I guess, from losing my
job.

- All I can say is that

you sure have an awful mean way

of taking things out on people.

- Well I'm trying to make it up
to you.

No, I want you to keep it.

- What you want is for
me not to go to the cops.

Cause any trouble.

Afraid your wife will find out
about it.

Alright, I know when
to keep my mouth shut.

(light jazzy music)

(suspenseful music)

(door slamming)

- Birthday party.

An extra bottle left over.

I hid it from Sandra.

I put it away, emergency, where?

The scarf.

I brought it home.

(dramatic music)

Sandra?

Sandy.
- I'm here Had, Had.

How'd things go at the--

I don't need to ask that, do I?

- I came home early.

It's only one o'clock.

- I told you Had what I was
going to do

if you got drunk again.

I'll pack my things and
leave in the morning.

- Aw, you can't Sandy, you
can't.

- Why can't I?

Give me one good reason why I
have

to live like this.
- Because you're my good luck.

Without you, Sandy--
- I've tried for

nearly 10 years, and
it's hopeless, Hadley.

- Oh Sandy.
- Now I'm going to bed.

- You've got to stick with me.

- Stick with you, what do you
mean?

- I wasn't drunk, Sandy.

Can you understand that?

I can prove it, I'll show you.

- Did you lose your job, is that
it?

- Driscoll is an oaf.

Blake's worse, afraid of
facts, can't face the truth.

- I asked, did you lose your
job?

- I'll find a better one.

You stick with me, Sandy.

You won't be sorry.

- It's the beginning of the
end, and you don't know it.

From now on, there will be a lot
of jobs.

Each one less and less until one
day,

there won't be any job at all.

- No, don't say that, it's not
true.

Listen, wait, Sandy!

It wasn't my fault!

I wasn't drunk!

I just had two drinks.

I can prove it.

- It doesn't matter.

We're through, Hadley.
- Sandy, look.

I went shopping.

I bought it just for you.

I couldn't have gone shopping
if I was drunk, could I?

It's real genuine silk.

Try it, put it on.

- I don't want it.
- You've got to want it!

It's yours!

It proves that Driscoll was
wrong!

And Blake was wrong, and
all of 'em were wrong!

And it proves that you're
wrong about my drinking!

And it proves that I bought it,

and it proves that I love you.

Can't you understand that?

Can't you realize you've got to
put it on.

- What are you doing?

Take it off.

I detest it.
(suspenseful music)

- Just wear it, that's all.

You're beautiful, Sandy,

and the scarf is beautiful.

It's just for you.

(dramatic music)

(intense music)

- This concludes tonight's
story.

Of course, there was
a legalistic footnote,

but the jury was charitable.

I customarily close on a light
note,

but I feel that tonight's
subject

is an unsuitable one for humor.

Alcoholism is being recognized

as one of the most serious
diseases of our society.

And I hope this program
has helped dramatize

some of the frightening
aspects of the problem.

Goodnight.
(steady instrumental music)

(steady instrumental music)

(dramatic orchestral music)