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1
00:00:01,660 --> 00:00:02,760
Dj: Alright, team.
2
00:00:02,830 --> 00:00:04,970
As you all know, today isn't
just any old Saturday.
3
00:00:04,970 --> 00:00:06,230
Oh, no.
4
00:00:06,240 --> 00:00:08,370
Today is our annual fundraiser
where half our proceeds
5
00:00:08,370 --> 00:00:11,910
Are donated back to
the fine people of korverton.
6
00:00:11,910 --> 00:00:13,170
That's right...
It's--
7
00:00:13,180 --> 00:00:15,080
-Insane insaturday, we know.
8
00:00:15,210 --> 00:00:16,340
-Oh, not this year, wayne.
9
00:00:16,410 --> 00:00:18,180
It turns out the name
"insane insaturday"
10
00:00:18,310 --> 00:00:19,380
Was actually
incredibly offensive
11
00:00:19,520 --> 00:00:21,380
To insane people, so...
12
00:00:21,450 --> 00:00:23,980
This year I've gone ahead
and officially changed
13
00:00:23,990 --> 00:00:27,350
The name to...
14
00:00:27,360 --> 00:00:29,360
Unselfish unsaturday.
15
00:00:29,360 --> 00:00:30,460
-What is "un-Saturday"?
16
00:00:30,490 --> 00:00:31,930
Sounds like
any day but Saturday!
17
00:00:31,960 --> 00:00:33,260
-Yeah, I tried to warn him.
18
00:00:33,330 --> 00:00:35,530
-No, I get it, boss.
You were going for alliteration.
19
00:00:35,560 --> 00:00:37,130
-Alliteration?
Try "selfless Saturday."
20
00:00:37,270 --> 00:00:38,400
How's that?
21
00:00:38,400 --> 00:00:39,600
-Damn, that's way better.
22
00:00:39,640 --> 00:00:40,770
-Where is keeran?
23
00:00:40,900 --> 00:00:42,040
-Late again.
24
00:00:42,040 --> 00:00:44,070
-My guess? Probably saw
a pretty girl on his bike,
25
00:00:44,110 --> 00:00:45,610
Got his boner tangled
in his handlebars,
26
00:00:45,740 --> 00:00:47,670
And crashed
into a telephone pole.
27
00:00:47,710 --> 00:00:50,540
-To be 16 again.
28
00:00:50,610 --> 00:00:52,750
You know what I got a boner for?
29
00:00:52,880 --> 00:00:53,710
Helping people.
30
00:00:53,850 --> 00:00:55,080
-Dicey segue!
31
00:00:55,080 --> 00:00:58,350
-That's why this year we are
gonna hit $20,000 in sales,
32
00:00:58,420 --> 00:01:00,220
A goal we've never hit before!
33
00:01:00,220 --> 00:01:02,090
-Yeah, but we have been
sniffing it for years!
34
00:01:02,120 --> 00:01:03,460
-That's right, cyn.
35
00:01:03,590 --> 00:01:07,530
But this year, we're gonna
dip our noses all the way in.
36
00:01:07,600 --> 00:01:09,300
'cause I'm throwin' in
a little incentive,
37
00:01:09,370 --> 00:01:11,170
A reward for each
and every one of you.
38
00:01:11,300 --> 00:01:12,700
-What is it?
39
00:01:12,700 --> 00:01:15,500
-Let's just say it's something
we all need and love.
40
00:01:15,640 --> 00:01:17,700
-Need...
-Huddle up, team.
41
00:01:17,740 --> 00:01:20,310
Our customers could
shop at sports dynasty
42
00:01:20,380 --> 00:01:22,380
Or any other
fancy big box store,
43
00:01:22,380 --> 00:01:25,050
But they choose to shop
at one more time. Why?
44
00:01:25,180 --> 00:01:26,550
-'cause our stuff is
used and cheap.
45
00:01:26,580 --> 00:01:29,120
-Oh yeah, baby.
But that's not the only reason!
46
00:01:29,150 --> 00:01:32,450
They shop here
because they know we care.
47
00:01:32,590 --> 00:01:34,920
The point is,
when we open those doors,
48
00:01:34,990 --> 00:01:37,390
The customers are gonna
spread through this store
49
00:01:37,390 --> 00:01:38,960
Like ringworm
on a wrestling mat.
50
00:01:38,990 --> 00:01:40,190
-Uh, dj?
51
00:01:40,230 --> 00:01:41,660
-They're gonna do that
because we listen.
52
00:01:41,660 --> 00:01:43,460
-Dj?
-We understand them.
53
00:01:43,600 --> 00:01:44,570
-Dj?
54
00:01:44,570 --> 00:01:46,400
-They're gonna come
because we pay attention.
55
00:01:46,470 --> 00:01:48,070
-Jen: Hey, boss?
-Yeah, jen?
56
00:01:48,200 --> 00:01:49,970
-I think cynthia's
trying to say something.
57
00:01:50,110 --> 00:01:51,070
-Oh, I'm sorry, cynth.
58
00:01:51,210 --> 00:01:53,340
You know I have a hard time
hearing when I'm talking,
59
00:01:53,410 --> 00:01:55,240
And you're on my right side;
that's my bad ear.
60
00:01:55,380 --> 00:01:56,610
-Oh, right.
-Or if you're behind me,
61
00:01:56,750 --> 00:01:58,340
'cause the mics
only face forward.
62
00:01:58,380 --> 00:02:00,480
-I just wanted to point out
that we actually opened
63
00:02:00,480 --> 00:02:02,420
Four and a half minutes ago.
64
00:02:02,450 --> 00:02:04,280
Dj: Look at that.
65
00:02:04,290 --> 00:02:08,160
Carried away by my own
pre-game speech, again.
66
00:02:08,220 --> 00:02:09,420
Alright, gang.
67
00:02:09,460 --> 00:02:11,860
Let's bring it in!
68
00:02:11,990 --> 00:02:13,090
Three, two...
69
00:02:13,230 --> 00:02:14,630
All: One more time!
70
00:02:14,700 --> 00:02:16,800
-Oh, that was a good one.
We were really in sync.
71
00:02:16,870 --> 00:02:19,430
You guys feel that one?
Good omen for the day.
72
00:02:19,500 --> 00:02:22,370
♪
73
00:02:24,440 --> 00:02:26,510
-Hey!
Can you do me a favour?
74
00:02:26,510 --> 00:02:28,280
-What do we think about
this reward dj mentioned?
75
00:02:28,280 --> 00:02:30,840
-I have no idea, but I need
you to cover my shift tomorrow.
76
00:02:30,880 --> 00:02:32,580
I've got training for
the olympic javelin qualifiers.
77
00:02:32,710 --> 00:02:34,050
-Oh, you and your
meaningless hobbies.
78
00:02:34,120 --> 00:02:35,920
Anyway, back to my thing.
It's gotta be cash, right?
79
00:02:35,990 --> 00:02:37,520
We're grown-ups.
Grown-ups give each other cash.
80
00:02:37,550 --> 00:02:39,120
It's unspoken,
but everybody knows it.
81
00:02:39,160 --> 00:02:40,320
-You must be fun for christmas.
82
00:02:40,390 --> 00:02:41,660
-We gotta sell hard.
83
00:02:41,720 --> 00:02:42,990
'cause I got my eye
on this microphone.
84
00:02:43,030 --> 00:02:44,990
It's gonna take formidable
failures to that next level.
85
00:02:45,130 --> 00:02:46,260
You know my podcast?
86
00:02:46,300 --> 00:02:48,060
-Oh, how could I forget
the way you revel in
87
00:02:48,060 --> 00:02:50,430
People's lowest moments?
So can you take my shift or not?
88
00:02:50,500 --> 00:02:52,930
-That's a negatory.
89
00:02:52,970 --> 00:02:55,970
I don't want to.
90
00:02:56,100 --> 00:02:58,140
-What if we make it interesting?
91
00:02:58,140 --> 00:02:59,540
-What are you suggesting?
92
00:02:59,580 --> 00:03:01,210
-I out-sell you,
you take my shift.
93
00:03:01,210 --> 00:03:02,810
You out-sell me,
94
00:03:02,810 --> 00:03:05,280
I'll give you whatever
that very special reward is.
95
00:03:05,410 --> 00:03:06,750
-You're on.
96
00:03:06,780 --> 00:03:09,120
But you have made
a grievous mistake, hauser.
97
00:03:09,120 --> 00:03:10,220
-Please.
98
00:03:10,220 --> 00:03:11,690
I can sell this stuff
in my sleep.
99
00:03:11,690 --> 00:03:13,420
You haven't even cared
about this job since 2015.
100
00:03:13,490 --> 00:03:15,560
-That's not true.
I started here in 2015.
101
00:03:15,620 --> 00:03:16,960
I haven't cared since 2017,
102
00:03:16,990 --> 00:03:18,960
And yet somehow
I'm still indispensable.
103
00:03:18,960 --> 00:03:21,430
Imagine what my powers would be
if I actually gave a shit.
104
00:03:21,500 --> 00:03:25,570
Now, if you'll excuse me, I...
105
00:03:25,600 --> 00:03:27,670
Have some shit to give.
106
00:03:32,810 --> 00:03:36,180
-Well, well, sneakin'
in the side door, keeran?
107
00:03:36,310 --> 00:03:37,980
-Sorry I'm late.
108
00:03:38,110 --> 00:03:39,180
-What, handlebar boner?
109
00:03:39,220 --> 00:03:40,380
-No, not this time.
110
00:03:40,520 --> 00:03:42,320
I got doored
and I twisted my ankle.
111
00:03:42,320 --> 00:03:43,780
It hurts so bad!
112
00:03:43,790 --> 00:03:45,320
Honestly,
I shouldn't even be here.
113
00:03:45,390 --> 00:03:46,990
Where's dj?
-Whoa, whoa, whoa.
114
00:03:47,060 --> 00:03:48,390
We need the full squadron today.
115
00:03:48,520 --> 00:03:50,090
-I'm in a lot of pain,
wayne.
116
00:03:50,230 --> 00:03:51,590
-Yeah, well, it just so happens,
117
00:03:51,590 --> 00:03:53,990
There's a huge reward in it
for us if we hit 20g in sales.
118
00:03:54,060 --> 00:03:55,460
-There's not enough
money in this world
119
00:03:55,600 --> 00:03:56,530
To tolerate this pain.
120
00:03:56,570 --> 00:03:58,060
-Wait! No, no, no, no--
what about--
121
00:03:58,100 --> 00:04:00,800
Uh, what about breasts?
122
00:04:00,800 --> 00:04:03,200
-What?
-You heard me, padawan.
123
00:04:03,240 --> 00:04:05,210
Are there enough
breasts in this world
124
00:04:05,210 --> 00:04:08,280
For you to tolerate that pain?
125
00:04:10,610 --> 00:04:12,680
-Seriously, man.
What are you talking about?
126
00:04:12,720 --> 00:04:14,750
-Well, it just so happens,
127
00:04:14,750 --> 00:04:16,550
I heard the big reward
is jojo's.
128
00:04:16,620 --> 00:04:18,150
-The strip club?
-Shh!
129
00:04:18,150 --> 00:04:19,350
It's supposed to be a surprise!
130
00:04:19,490 --> 00:04:22,020
-Isn't that a weird surprise
for your employees?
131
00:04:22,160 --> 00:04:23,420
-Well...
132
00:04:23,430 --> 00:04:24,960
Boobs bond mother and child.
133
00:04:25,090 --> 00:04:26,260
Why not co-workers, right?
134
00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:27,830
-That is true.
135
00:04:27,960 --> 00:04:31,160
Holy shit...
My first strip club!
136
00:04:31,230 --> 00:04:32,430
Oh, wait...
137
00:04:32,570 --> 00:04:34,030
I'm not old enough.
I won't get in.
138
00:04:34,100 --> 00:04:35,170
-Don't worry about that.
139
00:04:35,200 --> 00:04:37,500
Dj, he's got a side deal
with the bouncer there.
140
00:04:37,640 --> 00:04:39,540
It's a little quid pro quo,
if you will.
141
00:04:39,610 --> 00:04:40,810
-We gotta hit that 20 grand.
142
00:04:40,940 --> 00:04:42,980
-That's the spirit.
Now how's that ankle feeling?
143
00:04:43,110 --> 00:04:44,140
-What ankle?
144
00:04:44,210 --> 00:04:45,180
Hi-yah!
145
00:04:46,580 --> 00:04:48,780
-Ah, you're good, you're fine.
Sell, sell, sell.
146
00:04:48,850 --> 00:04:50,980
♪
147
00:04:51,120 --> 00:04:53,590
Keeran: Hello, sir.
148
00:04:53,620 --> 00:04:55,660
Dj: How you doing?
Can I help you with anything?
149
00:04:55,790 --> 00:04:56,990
my
nine-year-old insists
150
00:04:57,130 --> 00:04:58,260
It's pinching his forehead.
151
00:04:58,290 --> 00:04:59,390
-Pardon me?
-Jen: I got this.
152
00:04:59,460 --> 00:05:02,530
Um... May I?
153
00:05:02,530 --> 00:05:05,600
His son's baseball helmet
154
00:05:05,730 --> 00:05:09,200
Is pinching his forehead.
155
00:05:09,270 --> 00:05:11,270
-Right.
Okay, thanks, jen.
156
00:05:11,340 --> 00:05:13,010
Well, it sounds like
he's outgrown it.
157
00:05:13,140 --> 00:05:14,340
You're gonna wanna size up.
158
00:05:14,380 --> 00:05:15,880
We got a great
selection of helmets
159
00:05:15,910 --> 00:05:18,110
Just behind those
tennis balls right there.
160
00:05:18,250 --> 00:05:20,080
-So...
161
00:05:20,150 --> 00:05:22,680
I spent the last three months
162
00:05:22,720 --> 00:05:26,620
Taking intensive
sign language classes.
163
00:05:26,660 --> 00:05:27,620
Pretty good, eh?
164
00:05:27,760 --> 00:05:29,160
-Very good, very impressive.
165
00:05:29,220 --> 00:05:31,360
But you know I don't know
sign language, right?
166
00:05:31,430 --> 00:05:32,790
-What?
167
00:05:32,860 --> 00:05:35,530
Oh, I'm so sorry,
I just... Assumed.
168
00:05:35,530 --> 00:05:36,830
-Oh, no need to apologize.
169
00:05:36,900 --> 00:05:39,700
What I miss with my ears,
I fill in with body language,
170
00:05:39,700 --> 00:05:43,300
Lip reading, and context.
171
00:05:43,340 --> 00:05:45,040
-Hm.
172
00:05:48,210 --> 00:05:51,710
♪
173
00:05:51,710 --> 00:05:55,920
♪
174
00:05:55,920 --> 00:05:58,520
-Is it just me, or is this
turn-out a little underwhelming?
175
00:05:58,590 --> 00:06:00,450
-It is lower than underwhelming.
176
00:06:00,590 --> 00:06:03,060
It is sub-underwhelming!
177
00:06:03,060 --> 00:06:06,790
My projections point
to a 60% decrease in revenue.
178
00:06:06,930 --> 00:06:09,730
The excess inventory's gonna
eat into our quarterly profits,
179
00:06:09,800 --> 00:06:12,060
Consequently hindering
our capacity to borrow,
180
00:06:12,100 --> 00:06:15,340
Ergo affecting our ability
to access further inventory, dj.
181
00:06:15,400 --> 00:06:16,940
-So it's bad?
-Correct.
182
00:06:17,070 --> 00:06:19,570
-I knew it as soon
as you said "ergo."
183
00:06:19,640 --> 00:06:22,680
I think
this is the right one.
184
00:06:23,950 --> 00:06:25,750
-Is there sound coming out?
185
00:06:25,780 --> 00:06:29,280
Big sale!
50% of the proceeds go to...
186
00:06:29,420 --> 00:06:32,050
I guess now you'll never know,
so...
187
00:06:34,490 --> 00:06:35,560
Hey, sis!
188
00:06:35,620 --> 00:06:37,220
-Hi.
-What's up, josh?
189
00:06:37,360 --> 00:06:38,830
-Yo!
190
00:06:38,860 --> 00:06:40,630
Lookin' like one of those guys
off the vegas strip.
191
00:06:40,760 --> 00:06:42,060
-Oh, thanks, man.
192
00:06:42,200 --> 00:06:44,560
-Uh, josh, make sure to give me
a five-star review, please.
193
00:06:44,600 --> 00:06:46,030
-You were late.
-You were late.
194
00:06:46,030 --> 00:06:47,300
Shut up.
195
00:06:47,340 --> 00:06:49,700
Yo, tell piss jug about what's
happening at sports dynasty.
196
00:06:49,710 --> 00:06:51,100
-What's going on
at sports dynasty?
197
00:06:51,140 --> 00:06:52,310
-Oh man, they're slammed!
198
00:06:52,440 --> 00:06:53,570
Got a whole
carnival thing going on.
199
00:06:53,580 --> 00:06:55,240
Rides, games...
Even a magician!
200
00:06:55,380 --> 00:06:56,610
-A magician?
201
00:06:56,680 --> 00:06:58,450
I love magic!
-I know.
202
00:06:58,510 --> 00:07:01,180
-I bet carlito knew that too.
203
00:07:01,180 --> 00:07:02,880
-Who's carlito?
204
00:07:02,950 --> 00:07:04,820
-The manager at sports dynasty.
205
00:07:04,850 --> 00:07:06,250
I've told you this
like a million times.
206
00:07:06,390 --> 00:07:07,390
-You've never
told me that once.
207
00:07:07,520 --> 00:07:08,820
-You never listen!
-You never listen to me !
208
00:07:08,960 --> 00:07:11,090
Are you kidding?
-I listen to you all the time.
209
00:07:11,130 --> 00:07:13,230
I don't hear you sometimes,
but I always listen--
210
00:07:13,230 --> 00:07:15,730
-Shh! Just shut up.
211
00:07:15,860 --> 00:07:17,860
-Well, now I know
why the store's so empty.
212
00:07:17,900 --> 00:07:20,430
-Care to drown your sorrows
with a cold one on me?
213
00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:22,870
-I'll put it on my spill tab.
-No...
214
00:07:22,870 --> 00:07:25,070
There's something I need to do.
215
00:07:25,070 --> 00:07:26,410
-Gwen's working.
216
00:07:26,410 --> 00:07:28,210
-Gwen's working?
217
00:07:28,280 --> 00:07:30,340
I guess I am a little parched.
218
00:07:30,350 --> 00:07:32,010
No...
219
00:07:32,010 --> 00:07:35,280
There's something I need to do.
220
00:07:35,280 --> 00:07:36,680
Cynthia?
221
00:07:36,690 --> 00:07:39,650
Grab a stack of coupons
and meet me out front.
222
00:07:39,660 --> 00:07:41,760
Josh?
Have a great day at work, buddy.
223
00:07:41,760 --> 00:07:42,620
-Thanks, man.
224
00:07:42,760 --> 00:07:44,060
-Nat, think you could
give us a ride over?
225
00:07:44,060 --> 00:07:45,190
-Oh my gosh,
I would love to,
226
00:07:45,230 --> 00:07:46,890
But you have to request it
through the chauffeur app.
227
00:07:47,030 --> 00:07:47,860
-No, come on,
I'm your brother!
228
00:07:47,900 --> 00:07:48,960
Just give me a ride over.
229
00:07:48,960 --> 00:07:50,030
-Oh wait,
I got another request.
230
00:07:50,070 --> 00:07:51,100
-Flesh and blood!
-Yeah, I can't drive you, bye.
231
00:07:51,230 --> 00:07:52,700
-No way you got
a ride that quick.
232
00:07:52,700 --> 00:07:54,500
-Yeah, I just got a request.
Bing, it just popped in.
233
00:07:54,500 --> 00:07:55,430
-Are you kidding me?
Watch my--
234
00:07:55,470 --> 00:07:56,600
You almost rolled over
my foot again.
235
00:07:56,740 --> 00:07:57,700
-I was trying to.
236
00:07:57,770 --> 00:07:58,810
-Always appreciate
your loving support.
237
00:07:58,870 --> 00:08:01,310
I can't hear you.
238
00:08:07,980 --> 00:08:09,520
Cynthia: Oh, dj, look.
239
00:08:09,520 --> 00:08:10,720
Dj: Pretty tall guy.
240
00:08:10,750 --> 00:08:12,790
Cynthia: Terrifying.
241
00:08:12,820 --> 00:08:15,320
Dj: Whoa, okay!
242
00:08:15,460 --> 00:08:16,520
Ah!
243
00:08:16,530 --> 00:08:18,320
-My god,
look at that sleight of hand!
244
00:08:18,360 --> 00:08:19,730
-Yeah!
245
00:08:19,860 --> 00:08:22,190
-What are the chances this
is all just a big coincidence?
246
00:08:22,230 --> 00:08:24,660
-Carlito's wanted to
put us out of business
247
00:08:24,670 --> 00:08:27,330
Ever since you made
manager over him.
248
00:08:27,470 --> 00:08:28,800
Don't you see?
249
00:08:28,870 --> 00:08:31,070
This is carlito's way!
250
00:08:31,110 --> 00:08:33,410
-Doesn't he see?
He isn't just hurting me.
251
00:08:33,480 --> 00:08:35,580
He's hurting all of korverton!
252
00:08:35,580 --> 00:08:37,610
-And me.
-Yes.
253
00:08:37,650 --> 00:08:38,880
-Hand me those coupons.
254
00:08:38,950 --> 00:08:41,950
-Oh, uh... Right. Just go easy
on those coupons. They're
255
00:08:42,020 --> 00:08:45,220
Going to kill our bottom line.
-Time to make it rain coupons.
256
00:08:45,250 --> 00:08:48,020
Dj: Hey!
Come on down to one more time!
257
00:08:48,060 --> 00:08:49,760
Oh, all the way to the top,
tough guy!
258
00:08:53,760 --> 00:08:55,160
-Hello, my dear.
259
00:08:55,160 --> 00:08:57,700
I'm looking for a pair
of skates for my son
260
00:08:57,830 --> 00:08:59,570
-Oh, no problem.
What's his size?
261
00:08:59,700 --> 00:09:01,770
-Thirteen.
-Okay.
262
00:09:01,840 --> 00:09:03,640
I'm just gonna grab them
from the top shelf.
263
00:09:03,640 --> 00:09:06,310
-Okay.
-All the way up there.
264
00:09:16,520 --> 00:09:17,880
-Argh!
265
00:09:17,920 --> 00:09:19,320
You got this, keeran.
266
00:09:19,390 --> 00:09:20,920
Think of the breasts.
267
00:09:22,190 --> 00:09:24,090
And their eyes, of course.
268
00:09:24,130 --> 00:09:26,690
-Did I hear someone was looking
for a pair of size thirteens?
269
00:09:26,730 --> 00:09:27,930
These beauties just came in.
270
00:09:27,930 --> 00:09:29,500
Why don't I ring
'em up for you?
271
00:09:29,530 --> 00:09:30,500
Customer: Okay.
272
00:09:34,540 --> 00:09:35,600
augh...
273
00:09:35,640 --> 00:09:37,200
Aah!
274
00:09:38,910 --> 00:09:40,070
-We're locally owned,
275
00:09:40,140 --> 00:09:42,810
We've been
in the community since 1986.
276
00:09:42,810 --> 00:09:44,880
We may not have rides,
but we've got spirit.
277
00:09:44,910 --> 00:09:46,350
Security: Sorry, sir.
278
00:09:46,350 --> 00:09:47,610
You can't be here.
279
00:09:47,620 --> 00:09:48,650
-What? Why?
280
00:09:48,680 --> 00:09:50,850
-Boss's orders.
281
00:09:52,960 --> 00:09:54,850
-That's pretty extreme.
282
00:09:54,860 --> 00:09:56,020
-I'll say.
283
00:09:56,090 --> 00:09:57,490
Hey, can we just
talk to carlito?
284
00:09:57,490 --> 00:09:59,360
I feel like there's
a big misunderstanding.
285
00:09:59,490 --> 00:10:01,360
-Please, man, just walk away.
286
00:10:01,360 --> 00:10:03,830
I don't know why carlito
dislikes you so much,
287
00:10:03,830 --> 00:10:07,030
But his anger
really stresses me out.
288
00:10:07,070 --> 00:10:09,900
-Oh, that's the last thing
I want for you.
289
00:10:09,900 --> 00:10:11,500
Really, this doesn't
need to be that big of a deal.
290
00:10:11,640 --> 00:10:13,640
Carlito: Oh, but it does!
291
00:10:16,310 --> 00:10:17,510
-Carlito.
292
00:10:17,550 --> 00:10:21,510
-You got a lot of cojones
showing up here today, hombre.
293
00:10:21,520 --> 00:10:22,580
hi!
294
00:10:22,620 --> 00:10:24,050
Please enjoy the fair!
295
00:10:24,190 --> 00:10:26,120
The corn dogs are delicioso!
296
00:10:26,250 --> 00:10:28,590
Enjoy!
297
00:10:28,660 --> 00:10:31,520
-You got a lot of nerve
pulling a stunt like this today.
298
00:10:31,590 --> 00:10:34,330
-Oh, is today a special day?
Huh?
299
00:10:34,360 --> 00:10:36,200
A day you try to attract
people to your
300
00:10:36,230 --> 00:10:37,930
Rickety little
hand-me-down store?
301
00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:39,930
-Alright, cut the shit, carlito!
302
00:10:39,970 --> 00:10:43,140
Let's settle this right now,
mano a mano.
303
00:10:43,210 --> 00:10:45,410
-Now you're
speaking my language.
304
00:10:45,470 --> 00:10:46,640
Spanish!
305
00:10:51,410 --> 00:10:55,920
♪
306
00:10:58,620 --> 00:11:01,350
-You, me, dunk tank.
307
00:11:01,390 --> 00:11:03,360
You dunk me, we leave.
308
00:11:03,490 --> 00:11:06,890
I dunk you, you cease
the merriment immediately.
309
00:11:06,900 --> 00:11:08,590
-You are grown men.
310
00:11:08,660 --> 00:11:11,970
No one is getting
in a dunk tank.
311
00:11:12,100 --> 00:11:13,970
-Your funeral, amigo!
312
00:11:13,970 --> 00:11:16,700
Dawg, hold my dog.
313
00:11:16,710 --> 00:11:19,170
I'ma dunk you like a donut,
baby.
314
00:11:21,140 --> 00:11:23,240
-Hey, how can I help?
315
00:11:23,250 --> 00:11:25,180
-I'm almost sold
on this skipping rope,
316
00:11:25,250 --> 00:11:26,850
But is it long enough for two.
317
00:11:26,980 --> 00:11:29,250
-Only one way
to find out, I guess.
318
00:11:30,850 --> 00:11:32,120
-Are you okay?
319
00:11:32,250 --> 00:11:35,450
-You know what? I'm a little
shaken up, but I'll live.
320
00:11:35,490 --> 00:11:37,390
I'm not gonna buy these.
321
00:11:38,560 --> 00:11:40,930
-What's wrong with your leg?
322
00:11:40,960 --> 00:11:44,530
-That!
-Oh my god, that's disgusting.
323
00:11:44,530 --> 00:11:46,070
Looks like a plum with veins.
324
00:11:46,130 --> 00:11:48,600
Dude, you gotta go home,
or like...
325
00:11:48,600 --> 00:11:49,800
To emergency.
326
00:11:49,940 --> 00:11:51,070
-No!
I'm in it to win!
327
00:11:51,070 --> 00:11:52,240
I want this prize!
328
00:11:52,370 --> 00:11:55,910
-Your dedication is both
inspiring and inexplicable.
329
00:11:55,910 --> 00:11:58,810
Uh... Here.
At least wear this.
330
00:11:58,950 --> 00:12:00,080
-That's merch!
331
00:12:00,150 --> 00:12:02,280
-I'm sure dj won't mind
if it helps with this,
332
00:12:02,280 --> 00:12:04,080
I want to say
life-threatening injury.
333
00:12:04,090 --> 00:12:06,490
-Good point.
I'll take it.
334
00:12:06,560 --> 00:12:08,520
Think you can help me?
335
00:12:08,590 --> 00:12:10,860
Jen?
336
00:12:13,860 --> 00:12:15,530
Wayne: Uh, may I
help you, please?
337
00:12:15,600 --> 00:12:17,230
-Dammit.
-Just right this way.
338
00:12:17,270 --> 00:12:19,630
-Hi.
339
00:12:19,700 --> 00:12:21,900
Customer: Think you can help me?
340
00:12:23,840 --> 00:12:27,410
They all want to play hockey.
341
00:12:27,440 --> 00:12:31,040
♪
342
00:12:31,180 --> 00:12:34,250
♪
343
00:12:34,320 --> 00:12:35,380
♪
344
00:12:35,420 --> 00:12:37,520
-Boom!
345
00:12:37,590 --> 00:12:40,520
♪
346
00:12:40,520 --> 00:12:41,860
Right this way.
347
00:12:41,860 --> 00:12:43,990
And yieu, and yieu, and yieu,
and yieu, and yieu, and yieu,
348
00:12:44,030 --> 00:12:47,490
And yieu, and yieu, and yieu.
349
00:12:47,560 --> 00:12:49,660
-Come on, let's go!
350
00:12:49,730 --> 00:12:51,000
Stop stretching!
351
00:12:51,070 --> 00:12:53,800
Get to it, deaf jam!
Come on!
352
00:12:53,840 --> 00:12:56,470
-Is this really
the best use of our time?
353
00:12:56,600 --> 00:12:57,570
-I don't know.
354
00:12:57,640 --> 00:12:59,610
Why don't you tell me?
355
00:12:59,740 --> 00:13:00,870
-Aah!
356
00:13:00,940 --> 00:13:03,010
Swing and a miss,
doo-doo arm!
357
00:13:03,080 --> 00:13:04,480
-Would'a been cool
if I'd hit it, though,
358
00:13:04,510 --> 00:13:06,410
The way I said the line
as I threw it.
359
00:13:06,480 --> 00:13:07,810
-Yeah,
it would have been amazing.
360
00:13:07,820 --> 00:13:09,650
-I'm the king of the world!
361
00:13:09,720 --> 00:13:11,890
♪
362
00:13:11,890 --> 00:13:14,090
This ain't hockey, mijo!
363
00:13:14,160 --> 00:13:15,890
You're in my playground now!
364
00:13:15,960 --> 00:13:18,620
-You play in a recreational
ping pong league!
365
00:13:18,660 --> 00:13:19,830
-It's table tennis!
366
00:13:19,900 --> 00:13:20,830
And I'm not ashamed!
367
00:13:20,960 --> 00:13:22,430
-Nor should you be!
-Hey!
368
00:13:22,460 --> 00:13:23,960
Don't take my side!
369
00:13:24,100 --> 00:13:25,570
-Hey, gee, relax!
370
00:13:25,630 --> 00:13:28,300
-Hey, dj, shouldn't you take
your hearing aids out?
371
00:13:28,300 --> 00:13:30,140
They're not waterproof, right?
372
00:13:30,270 --> 00:13:32,370
-Cynthia,
if I take my hearing aids out,
373
00:13:32,370 --> 00:13:36,240
I'll be telling carlito
I expect him to dunk me.
374
00:13:36,380 --> 00:13:38,610
The mind is the most
powerful weapon.
375
00:13:38,650 --> 00:13:42,320
crowd: Ooh!
376
00:13:42,320 --> 00:13:44,980
-Oh-ho!
Not enough mustard!
377
00:13:45,020 --> 00:13:47,150
Looks like--
augh!
378
00:13:48,520 --> 00:13:50,690
-Dj! I told you--
379
00:14:00,940 --> 00:14:02,540
-One, two, three, four.
380
00:14:02,540 --> 00:14:04,940
-That was a punishingly
effective underarm.
381
00:14:04,970 --> 00:14:10,410
Towels in aisle seven--
382
00:14:10,450 --> 00:14:13,080
Carlito: Back to the bodega,
potato man!
383
00:14:15,880 --> 00:14:18,820
-Uh, dj, just ignore him.
384
00:14:25,160 --> 00:14:26,890
Dad: We're gonna
sign you up later.
385
00:14:26,930 --> 00:14:28,760
Kid: But I don't wanna.
386
00:14:28,830 --> 00:14:30,960
-I saw what you said there.
387
00:14:31,100 --> 00:14:33,100
I too was small at your age.
388
00:14:33,170 --> 00:14:35,500
Then I became one of
the best damn hockey players
389
00:14:35,640 --> 00:14:37,500
In korverton.
390
00:14:37,570 --> 00:14:41,670
You can do anything
you set your mind to.
391
00:14:41,810 --> 00:14:43,580
Woman: You're gonna love it.
392
00:14:48,420 --> 00:14:50,580
-Dj?
393
00:14:50,650 --> 00:14:51,520
Dj: I get it.
394
00:14:51,650 --> 00:14:53,520
You're too young
to use a butter knife
395
00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:55,520
Yet they wanna strap you
to a couple blades
396
00:14:55,590 --> 00:14:58,790
That could cut clean
through your achilles tendon.
397
00:14:58,790 --> 00:15:03,060
It's scary, but all
the best things in life are.
398
00:15:03,100 --> 00:15:04,600
Man: No, no, no, no--
399
00:15:07,370 --> 00:15:11,270
-Sir... I saw you call
yourself a huge fatty.
400
00:15:11,310 --> 00:15:14,670
Athletes come in all shapes
and sizes, my man.
401
00:15:18,250 --> 00:15:21,150
-Dj, cabs are the other way...
402
00:15:24,490 --> 00:15:28,920
♪
403
00:15:29,060 --> 00:15:30,460
-Do you always
keep a second pair?
404
00:15:30,460 --> 00:15:31,960
-Five-second delay
before they come on.
405
00:15:31,960 --> 00:15:35,760
-Oh, of course, right.
406
00:15:35,760 --> 00:15:37,700
You always keep a second pair?
-And a little song.
407
00:15:37,770 --> 00:15:38,760
-Oh.
408
00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:43,440
And we're back!
409
00:15:43,440 --> 00:15:45,470
-You always keep a second pair
of hearing aids on you?
410
00:15:45,470 --> 00:15:47,610
-Of course. You never know
when you're gonna find yourself
411
00:15:47,640 --> 00:15:49,780
Humiliated in a public
dunk tank showdown.
412
00:15:49,810 --> 00:15:51,040
-I do know.
413
00:15:51,080 --> 00:15:52,780
It's never.
414
00:15:52,810 --> 00:15:55,310
-Hey, I just wanna thank you
for having my back over there.
415
00:15:55,320 --> 00:15:57,180
-I disagreed with
every choice you made.
416
00:15:57,320 --> 00:15:58,320
-Yet you stuck by me.
417
00:15:58,390 --> 00:15:59,920
-I was trying to
talk you out of it.
418
00:15:59,920 --> 00:16:01,250
-Still, you stayed by my side.
419
00:16:01,390 --> 00:16:03,820
-Didn't wanna waste
the money on two cabs, so...
420
00:16:03,860 --> 00:16:05,590
-I'm trying to create
a little moment here, cynth,
421
00:16:05,590 --> 00:16:08,130
But you gotta meet me
in the middle a little bit.
422
00:16:08,130 --> 00:16:09,500
-We should get back to work.
423
00:16:09,500 --> 00:16:12,130
-All business.
That's why I love ya.
424
00:16:14,040 --> 00:16:15,570
Not gonna say it back, huh?
425
00:16:15,570 --> 00:16:16,800
-No.
426
00:16:18,840 --> 00:16:21,340
-Alright, bring it in, team.
427
00:16:21,380 --> 00:16:24,110
As you all know, today was
supposed to be the electric
428
00:16:24,180 --> 00:16:27,010
First edition
of unselfish unsaturday.
429
00:16:27,050 --> 00:16:28,280
-It gets worse
every time I hear it.
430
00:16:28,320 --> 00:16:30,720
-It wasn't meant to be.
-My head's spinning.
431
00:16:30,790 --> 00:16:33,090
-I know, buddy.
It's been an insane day.
432
00:16:33,220 --> 00:16:34,750
Sorry, crazy day.
433
00:16:34,820 --> 00:16:37,020
I would have thought it would
take more than a few
434
00:16:37,160 --> 00:16:39,290
Cheap fair rides
and an incredible magician
435
00:16:39,290 --> 00:16:40,890
To lure away
our dedicated community,
436
00:16:40,960 --> 00:16:43,230
But I was today years' old
when I learned I was wrong.
437
00:16:43,300 --> 00:16:44,530
No cap.
438
00:16:44,670 --> 00:16:47,030
I guess it just goes to
show you, doesn't it?
439
00:16:47,100 --> 00:16:49,970
Maybe I'm no longer relevant.
440
00:16:50,100 --> 00:16:51,170
Maybe...
441
00:16:51,310 --> 00:16:52,640
Unfit to lead this team.
442
00:16:52,710 --> 00:16:56,210
Kid: That's the wet man
who said I could do anything!
443
00:16:56,240 --> 00:16:58,780
-Maybe there's still hope!
444
00:17:05,950 --> 00:17:07,150
-I'll be right with you.
445
00:17:07,190 --> 00:17:09,290
-I wasn't saying
I'm a huge fatty,
446
00:17:09,420 --> 00:17:11,860
I was saying I'm gujarati!
447
00:17:11,860 --> 00:17:13,260
-Oh, my bad, dude.
448
00:17:13,330 --> 00:17:14,990
-I appreciate the message.
449
00:17:15,000 --> 00:17:16,930
I always wanted to be a jockey.
450
00:17:17,000 --> 00:17:18,730
-Well, giddy-up, sir!
Giddy-up.
451
00:17:18,870 --> 00:17:21,200
-Two water bottles.
You should try another one.
452
00:17:21,240 --> 00:17:22,940
-Three kids? Three kids?
I heard three.
453
00:17:22,940 --> 00:17:25,000
-Did anyone help you today?
454
00:17:25,010 --> 00:17:26,270
Oh, yes.
455
00:17:26,310 --> 00:17:27,870
That would be wayne.
456
00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:30,110
-Did you come here
because of my inspiring words?
457
00:17:30,240 --> 00:17:32,280
Woman: No, coupon.
458
00:17:32,310 --> 00:17:34,380
-Total is $88.71.
459
00:17:34,380 --> 00:17:36,380
Love to see it.
Big spender.
460
00:17:38,150 --> 00:17:39,390
Real firm grip...
461
00:17:39,390 --> 00:17:41,220
-This racket
is actually fantastic.
462
00:17:41,220 --> 00:17:43,220
I'll come check you out.
463
00:17:43,360 --> 00:17:44,460
Dj: Perfect.
464
00:17:44,590 --> 00:17:47,230
Cynthia: Thank you.
Do you want a receipt?
465
00:17:47,230 --> 00:17:48,960
There you go.
Have a great day!
466
00:17:52,700 --> 00:17:56,900
♪
467
00:17:56,970 --> 00:17:58,910
-Thank you.
Take care.
468
00:18:03,880 --> 00:18:07,110
Unselfish unsaturday
is officially over.
469
00:18:07,150 --> 00:18:08,480
Alright,
let's see the final tally!
470
00:18:08,480 --> 00:18:09,780
-Oh, wait, wait,
before you do that,
471
00:18:09,820 --> 00:18:11,980
Can you let us know who sold
more between me and wayne?
472
00:18:12,020 --> 00:18:14,650
We got a thing going.
-Well...
473
00:18:14,660 --> 00:18:16,260
By $21,
474
00:18:16,260 --> 00:18:18,120
The winner is wayne.
475
00:18:18,130 --> 00:18:19,390
-Yes!
-What? No!
476
00:18:19,430 --> 00:18:20,590
-You cannot compete
with the wayne-maker!
477
00:18:20,630 --> 00:18:22,460
-I was dominating out there!
-Dj: Hey, hey, hey.
478
00:18:22,530 --> 00:18:24,660
Everyone was dominating
out there.
479
00:18:24,800 --> 00:18:28,030
Alright, now,
let's see the final tally.
480
00:18:28,070 --> 00:18:29,870
-Ugh...
481
00:18:29,900 --> 00:18:33,440
$19,986.
482
00:18:33,480 --> 00:18:35,740
-We're off by $14?
-That's so close!
483
00:18:35,780 --> 00:18:37,710
Do we still get the reward?
Come on!
484
00:18:37,710 --> 00:18:39,910
-Obviously I'd love to
reward you for your hard work,
485
00:18:40,050 --> 00:18:42,080
But I can't help but wonder...
486
00:18:42,080 --> 00:18:44,080
What's the point of setting
goals if we're just gonna
487
00:18:44,120 --> 00:18:45,150
Move the goal post?
488
00:18:45,290 --> 00:18:46,420
-Ring it up!
489
00:18:46,550 --> 00:18:47,820
-Jesus,
what the hell happened to you?
490
00:18:47,890 --> 00:18:48,920
-I blacked out,
491
00:18:48,990 --> 00:18:51,620
And I came to in a cubby hole
in the breakroom.
492
00:18:51,690 --> 00:18:53,490
Did you guys know there was
a cubby hole in the breakroom?
493
00:18:53,630 --> 00:18:54,730
-I don't think there is.
494
00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:56,100
-There's no cubby hole
in our breakroom.
495
00:18:56,230 --> 00:18:57,930
-Anyways, forget about
the cubby hole in the breakroom.
496
00:18:58,000 --> 00:18:59,430
I grabbed this ankle brace
from earlier
497
00:18:59,430 --> 00:19:00,770
And I haven't paid for it.
498
00:19:00,840 --> 00:19:02,500
-Aw, buddy, I would never
make you pay for that--
499
00:19:02,640 --> 00:19:05,940
-I said ring... It... Up!
500
00:19:06,070 --> 00:19:07,610
-You heard the man.
501
00:19:12,610 --> 00:19:14,850
-With this final purchase
of the day,
502
00:19:14,920 --> 00:19:17,050
Our total sales are...
503
00:19:17,120 --> 00:19:19,450
$20,016!
504
00:19:22,090 --> 00:19:23,490
-Amazing!
505
00:19:23,560 --> 00:19:25,660
-Oh, and, uh, make
sure to give the sale to jen.
506
00:19:25,660 --> 00:19:26,960
She gave me the ankle brace.
507
00:19:27,090 --> 00:19:29,200
-Oh, oh!
-No... No!
508
00:19:29,260 --> 00:19:31,660
-Victory tastes so sweet!
Nom, nom, nom!
509
00:19:31,670 --> 00:19:33,630
-Well, I promised
you all a reward,
510
00:19:33,640 --> 00:19:37,270
And a reward you shall receive.
511
00:19:37,410 --> 00:19:39,610
Who's up for wings
at angry al's?
512
00:19:39,740 --> 00:19:42,440
-Ah...
513
00:19:42,510 --> 00:19:44,610
-Angry al's?
-Wings.
514
00:19:44,610 --> 00:19:46,680
-You said it was something
we all need and love.
515
00:19:46,750 --> 00:19:49,950
-Yeah, we all need a good hang
after a hard day at work,
516
00:19:49,950 --> 00:19:51,620
And I'm pretty sure
we all love wings, no?
517
00:19:51,650 --> 00:19:52,950
-What about breasts?
518
00:19:52,950 --> 00:19:54,390
-You can order
whatever you want, champ,
519
00:19:54,420 --> 00:19:56,660
But they're known
for their wings.
520
00:19:56,790 --> 00:19:59,560
-Come on!
521
00:19:59,690 --> 00:20:02,630
♪
522
00:20:02,700 --> 00:20:04,960
-Another round
for the 20-grand gang?
523
00:20:05,030 --> 00:20:06,370
-Yeah!
-Oh...
524
00:20:06,500 --> 00:20:08,030
Well,
who approved another round?
525
00:20:08,070 --> 00:20:10,570
Waitress: And a virgin white
russian for the young warrior.
526
00:20:10,570 --> 00:20:11,970
I did.
527
00:20:12,010 --> 00:20:12,870
-Wow, is that 2%?
528
00:20:12,910 --> 00:20:14,370
That might be
too strong for you.
529
00:20:14,380 --> 00:20:15,470
-Those new hearing aids, dj?
530
00:20:15,610 --> 00:20:17,710
-Uh, no.
Very old, actually.
531
00:20:17,850 --> 00:20:19,980
Yeah, they weight
about 17 pounds a piece,
532
00:20:20,050 --> 00:20:22,180
And they make me look like
a deaf transformer,
533
00:20:22,320 --> 00:20:24,320
But they're always there
when I need 'em.
534
00:20:24,320 --> 00:20:26,420
-Well, I think you look great.
535
00:20:26,450 --> 00:20:28,720
-Thank you.
536
00:20:28,790 --> 00:20:30,320
-Gwen just flirt with you there?
537
00:20:30,460 --> 00:20:31,990
-I mean...
538
00:20:34,660 --> 00:20:36,900
-Nope. False alarm.
539
00:20:36,970 --> 00:20:38,900
-Oh, I would, um,
take it easy there.
540
00:20:38,970 --> 00:20:41,270
I forgot to mention that
my shift tomorrow is a double.
541
00:20:41,270 --> 00:20:42,770
Opening and closing.
542
00:20:42,840 --> 00:20:44,400
-Shouldn't count.
543
00:20:44,410 --> 00:20:46,310
Dj: All day at the store?
Lucky guy.
544
00:20:46,440 --> 00:20:47,470
Woman: Come on!
545
00:20:47,480 --> 00:20:49,480
-Let's be bad girls!
546
00:20:55,350 --> 00:20:58,350
-We've lost him.
-Hey guys, cheers!
547
00:20:58,490 --> 00:21:01,290
To an insane-- a crazy--
548
00:21:01,420 --> 00:21:03,060
A good day!
549
00:21:04,560 --> 00:21:06,090
-Alright!
550
00:21:06,160 --> 00:21:09,200
♪
551
00:21:09,330 --> 00:21:12,970
♪
552
00:21:13,100 --> 00:21:16,170
♪
553
00:21:16,170 --> 00:21:19,170
♪
554
00:21:19,170 --> 00:21:22,910
♪
555
00:21:22,980 --> 00:21:26,050
♪
556
00:21:26,050 --> 00:21:29,050
♪
557
00:21:29,120 --> 00:21:32,180
♪
558
00:21:32,190 --> 00:21:35,150
♪
39062
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