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1
00:00:01,502 --> 00:00:03,337
Gentlemen, three months ago,
2
00:00:03,420 --> 00:00:05,047
I bravely re-entered the dating pool.
3
00:00:05,130 --> 00:00:06,965
And how has this city rewarded me?
4
00:00:07,132 --> 00:00:09,760
With an endless parade
of weirdo ass clowns.
5
00:00:09,843 --> 00:00:11,136
Hard to say who was the worst.
6
00:00:11,220 --> 00:00:12,846
-Comedy magician.
-No, the guy with the little ding-ding.
7
00:00:12,930 --> 00:00:14,973
-The lion tamer.
-Never went out with a lion tamer.
8
00:00:15,182 --> 00:00:17,392
Then I am having some vivid dreams.
9
00:00:17,476 --> 00:00:20,479
The point is,
Ian has asked me out on a third date.
10
00:00:20,562 --> 00:00:22,147
-Ooh.
-And this is the biggest compliment
11
00:00:22,231 --> 00:00:24,691
I could give: I want to go.
12
00:00:24,775 --> 00:00:26,860
-Because I like him.
-Boo.
13
00:00:26,944 --> 00:00:28,737
-That's not a reason.
-And, frankly, it's been a while.
14
00:00:28,820 --> 00:00:29,988
And the third date is where...
15
00:00:30,155 --> 00:00:32,032
(SING-SONG) Mama gets her biscuit.
16
00:00:32,491 --> 00:00:33,659
(CHUCKLES)
17
00:00:33,742 --> 00:00:35,619
-Mama gets her biscuit.
-I don't understand.
18
00:00:35,702 --> 00:00:37,287
-It's sex.
-Oh!
19
00:00:37,371 --> 00:00:38,747
-Yeah!
-Now, that's a reason!
20
00:00:38,830 --> 00:00:40,040
Anyway, I'm bringing him home tonight,
21
00:00:40,123 --> 00:00:42,251
so let's keep those toilets flushed.
22
00:00:42,334 --> 00:00:44,962
That means stick around.
Take a second look.
23
00:00:45,045 --> 00:00:46,129
How'd you tell Ian about the fun surprise
24
00:00:46,213 --> 00:00:47,256
that you still live with your ex?
25
00:00:47,339 --> 00:00:49,424
-All right.
-Well, I haven't told him yet.
26
00:00:49,508 --> 00:00:51,051
Uh, tricky conversation.
27
00:00:51,134 --> 00:00:53,220
I'm thinking of something simple like,
28
00:00:53,303 --> 00:00:55,180
"Hey, Ian, I live with my ex."
29
00:00:55,264 --> 00:00:57,599
No. No, no. When a guy
hears that, he is going to
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00:00:57,683 --> 00:00:59,393
run through the wall
like the Kool-Aid Man.
31
00:00:59,476 --> 00:01:01,812
Here's a fun idea.
You can put a hat on him with antlers.
32
00:01:01,895 --> 00:01:06,233
This way, the hole he makes in
the wall will make us all smile.
33
00:01:06,316 --> 00:01:07,943
Nick brings home girls all the time.
34
00:01:08,026 --> 00:01:09,736
-There's no problem.
-No complaints here.
35
00:01:09,820 --> 00:01:11,697
It'll make you forget
every botanical garden
36
00:01:11,780 --> 00:01:12,906
you've ever seen.
37
00:01:12,990 --> 00:01:14,032
I live with my ex-girlfriend.
38
00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:17,035
And after the farmer's market...
39
00:01:17,119 --> 00:01:18,203
I live with my ex.
40
00:01:19,204 --> 00:01:20,205
Let's have sex again.
41
00:01:20,289 --> 00:01:21,290
I live with my ex.
42
00:01:22,624 --> 00:01:24,960
-(SIGHS)
-Damn it. Too quick.
43
00:01:25,043 --> 00:01:26,503
Hey, if you're looking
to scare somebody off,
44
00:01:26,587 --> 00:01:28,088
it's basically a gold mine.
45
00:01:28,172 --> 00:01:30,549
Nobody cares that we're exes
who live together.
46
00:01:30,674 --> 00:01:32,593
(GROANS) I got to go.
47
00:01:33,760 --> 00:01:35,554
Okay, that doesn't prove anything.
48
00:01:35,637 --> 00:01:37,848
Just for the record, I'm leaving
'cause you live with your ex.
49
00:01:38,056 --> 00:01:40,184
It's gross. And disgusting.
50
00:01:40,267 --> 00:01:42,352
And I'm gonna steal some stuff.
51
00:01:42,477 --> 00:01:43,854
Take what you want, honey.
52
00:01:43,937 --> 00:01:45,939
COACH: We don't read those anymore.
53
00:01:47,941 --> 00:01:48,984
(DOOR CLOSES)
54
00:01:50,402 --> 00:01:52,237
Nick, who are these girls?
55
00:01:52,321 --> 00:01:54,031
They're not the best.
56
00:02:00,162 --> 00:02:03,081
Jess, guys hate
complicated situations.
57
00:02:03,207 --> 00:02:05,667
We want the path of least resistance.
58
00:02:05,751 --> 00:02:08,170
There's a flap in our underwear
because we are too lazy
59
00:02:08,253 --> 00:02:09,880
to pull our underpants down.
60
00:02:09,963 --> 00:02:11,757
No offense, Nick, but...
61
00:02:11,965 --> 00:02:14,718
Ian's a little different from
you or the women you bring home.
62
00:02:14,801 --> 00:02:16,678
The... tavern folk.
63
00:02:16,762 --> 00:02:19,056
Have some respect.
They're called Uh-Ohs.
64
00:02:19,306 --> 00:02:22,184
And I've been through a lot
of names: Pork Pals.
65
00:02:22,267 --> 00:02:23,310
-Okay.
-Bone Cronies.
66
00:02:23,393 --> 00:02:25,103
-Right.
-C-Plussy Hussies.
67
00:02:25,187 --> 00:02:27,356
-Very reverent.
-But "Uh-Oh" takes it off of them
68
00:02:27,439 --> 00:02:29,358
and back onto me where it belongs.
69
00:02:29,441 --> 00:02:31,276
I made the mistake, not them.
They're great.
70
00:02:31,360 --> 00:02:33,153
You really are a prince
among men, Nick.
71
00:02:33,237 --> 00:02:35,322
Aw, that's awfully nice.
I feel like I'm maturing.
72
00:02:35,447 --> 00:02:36,990
All I'm saying is that, somehow,
73
00:02:37,074 --> 00:02:39,034
Ian is even more mature than you are.
74
00:02:39,117 --> 00:02:40,911
And that's why I think he'll understand
75
00:02:40,994 --> 00:02:44,331
when I tell him in a mature
adult way, I live with my ex,
76
00:02:44,414 --> 00:02:45,874
but there's nothing to worry about.
77
00:02:45,958 --> 00:02:48,001
-Can I suggest a tweak?
-Fine.
78
00:02:48,085 --> 00:02:49,711
"I live with my ex, but
there's nothing to worry about
79
00:02:49,795 --> 00:02:51,171
-"because he's gay now."
-No.
80
00:02:51,463 --> 00:02:53,131
-"Because he has weeks to live."
-No.
81
00:02:53,215 --> 00:02:55,175
"Because he's already dead."
82
00:02:55,259 --> 00:02:57,135
-What?
-Then I'll act like a ghost.
83
00:02:57,219 --> 00:02:58,345
No.
84
00:02:58,595 --> 00:03:00,180
(IMITATING GHOST) Consider it.
85
00:03:00,514 --> 00:03:02,683
-No.
-Come on.
86
00:03:02,766 --> 00:03:04,643
That's the worst ghost
impression I've ever heard.
87
00:03:04,810 --> 00:03:06,728
This is the worst ghost
impression you've ever heard?
88
00:03:06,812 --> 00:03:09,064
(IMITATING GHOST) I'm a ghost.
89
00:03:09,439 --> 00:03:11,400
(SCOFFS) There's way worse.
90
00:03:11,608 --> 00:03:13,610
(WINSTON HUMMING SOFTLY)
91
00:03:13,694 --> 00:03:14,695
Anything for me?
92
00:03:14,778 --> 00:03:17,072
Oh, no, this isn't our mail.
This is our neighbors' mail.
93
00:03:17,155 --> 00:03:18,657
You see, Viv likes it alphabetized.
94
00:03:18,740 --> 00:03:21,869
Yet Michelle likes it
according to size. (CHUCKLES)
95
00:03:21,952 --> 00:03:23,161
Hashtag "go figure," right?
96
00:03:23,245 --> 00:03:24,580
Hashtag "did you see how I rhymed?"
97
00:03:24,705 --> 00:03:26,248
I want to choke you until your eyes
98
00:03:26,331 --> 00:03:27,958
literally pop out of your head.
99
00:03:28,083 --> 00:03:30,460
Those girls are not
going to sleep with you.
100
00:03:30,544 --> 00:03:33,839
They are hot. And nothing is
less hot than a male secretary.
101
00:03:33,964 --> 00:03:36,633
(IMITATES RECORD SCRATCHING)
102
00:03:36,717 --> 00:03:37,718
What?
103
00:03:37,801 --> 00:03:39,720
I think somebody needs
to take a good long look
104
00:03:39,845 --> 00:03:42,973
at Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel.
105
00:03:43,056 --> 00:03:44,850
Dude's eyes are so pouchy,
106
00:03:44,933 --> 00:03:47,269
he can barely see anything,
and he's still killing it.
107
00:03:47,352 --> 00:03:50,814
Girls don't have sex with
guys who sort their mail.
108
00:03:50,939 --> 00:03:53,692
Look, I am playing
the long game here, Coach,
109
00:03:53,775 --> 00:03:56,403
weaving myself into the
fabric of their lives.
110
00:03:56,486 --> 00:03:58,238
Pretty soon I'll be as permanent
111
00:03:58,322 --> 00:04:00,908
as the will that I
helped them draw up.
112
00:04:01,366 --> 00:04:03,285
Oh, Winston, thank God you're here.
113
00:04:03,368 --> 00:04:04,620
The toilet won't flush.
114
00:04:04,703 --> 00:04:05,704
Did you jiggle the handle?
115
00:04:05,787 --> 00:04:07,206
No, it's not working for us.
116
00:04:07,289 --> 00:04:09,082
-Here.
-MICHELLE: Oh.
117
00:04:11,043 --> 00:04:12,336
I'm not here to do any chores.
118
00:04:12,878 --> 00:04:14,087
You guys want to hang out tonight?
119
00:04:14,296 --> 00:04:15,506
-Sure.
-Sure.
120
00:04:15,589 --> 00:04:16,882
Right on. Right on. That's what's up.
121
00:04:17,007 --> 00:04:19,551
WINSTON: Coach, I really need
my stilts and a plunger!
122
00:04:20,594 --> 00:04:22,179
Eh, I don't care.
123
00:04:22,554 --> 00:04:23,764
JESS: I'm happy to lend you a bra,
124
00:04:23,847 --> 00:04:26,350
but I don't think I have
anything that would fit you.
125
00:04:26,433 --> 00:04:27,434
That's the Peter Pan.
126
00:04:27,518 --> 00:04:28,894
That'll smash 'em down good,
127
00:04:28,977 --> 00:04:30,103
but you'll never get those in there.
128
00:04:30,187 --> 00:04:31,355
I know. I just wanted to see
129
00:04:31,438 --> 00:04:32,981
what it would feel like to be your size.
130
00:04:33,065 --> 00:04:34,733
Are we doing, like,
a boob Freaky Friday?
131
00:04:34,816 --> 00:04:37,986
Because I don't want to lug
yours around. They're a load.
132
00:04:38,070 --> 00:04:39,863
I know. That's the whole point.
That's why all the women
133
00:04:39,947 --> 00:04:42,199
-in my family have back trouble, you know?
-(GROANS)
134
00:04:42,366 --> 00:04:43,825
So, now that I have insurance, though,
135
00:04:43,909 --> 00:04:45,244
I was thinking
maybe I could have, like,
136
00:04:45,327 --> 00:04:46,620
breast reduction surgery.
137
00:04:46,703 --> 00:04:48,205
SCHMIDT: (IN DISTANCE) No!
138
00:04:48,455 --> 00:04:50,457
(FOOTSTEPS RUNNING)
139
00:04:50,541 --> 00:04:52,918
-(FRANTIC KNOCKING)
-JESS: I wonder who this is.
140
00:04:53,752 --> 00:04:54,795
What?
141
00:04:56,171 --> 00:04:57,548
It's a boob reduction, Schmidt.
142
00:04:57,631 --> 00:04:58,966
Just accept it.
143
00:04:59,049 --> 00:05:00,551
Acceptance is stage five.
144
00:05:00,634 --> 00:05:02,970
I'm grieving, Cece.
There are five stages of grief.
145
00:05:03,053 --> 00:05:04,888
Stage one was denial.
146
00:05:04,972 --> 00:05:06,390
-(REPEATING) This is not happening.
-CECE: Yes, it is. Yes, it is.
147
00:05:06,473 --> 00:05:07,474
-You're not getting a boob reduction.
-Yes, I am.
148
00:05:07,558 --> 00:05:08,559
-This is not happening.
-Yes, it is.
149
00:05:08,642 --> 00:05:09,643
Stage two was anger.
150
00:05:09,726 --> 00:05:11,103
Your breasts belong to all of us!
151
00:05:11,186 --> 00:05:12,187
Okay.
152
00:05:12,271 --> 00:05:13,313
Who are you to decide?
153
00:05:13,564 --> 00:05:15,315
Next will be stage four, depression.
154
00:05:15,399 --> 00:05:16,900
And then stage five, acceptance.
155
00:05:16,984 --> 00:05:19,778
But right now,
I'm firmly planted in stage three,
156
00:05:19,862 --> 00:05:20,946
bargaining.
157
00:05:21,029 --> 00:05:22,197
-Dear God...
-Okay.
158
00:05:22,281 --> 00:05:24,533
If you stop Cece's breast reduction,
I'll circumcise Coach.
159
00:05:24,616 --> 00:05:25,617
WINSTON: Whoa, Coach.
160
00:05:25,701 --> 00:05:27,536
Go out with them tonight?
Doesn't make any sense, man.
161
00:05:27,619 --> 00:05:29,538
And compromise the long game? Ha.
162
00:05:29,621 --> 00:05:31,331
Not until I replace their
rocker switches with dimmers.
163
00:05:31,415 --> 00:05:32,833
Forget your long game, Winston!
164
00:05:32,958 --> 00:05:35,627
Getting a girl to have sex with you
is not about planning ahead.
165
00:05:35,711 --> 00:05:37,171
It is about seizing opportunities
166
00:05:37,254 --> 00:05:39,381
that you never saw coming.
It is instinct.
167
00:05:39,464 --> 00:05:40,591
All right? It is improv.
168
00:05:40,674 --> 00:05:42,134
It is jazz, man.
169
00:05:42,217 --> 00:05:44,428
But with words. You dig?
And the words are,
170
00:05:44,511 --> 00:05:46,054
"Oh, yeah, girl, I'm about to..."
171
00:05:46,138 --> 00:05:48,056
(SCATTING LOUDLY)
172
00:05:48,307 --> 00:05:49,683
(PHONE VIBRATING)
173
00:05:49,766 --> 00:05:51,351
(HUMMING QUIETLY)
174
00:05:51,643 --> 00:05:53,562
(CHUCKLES) Glen, my man,
tell me something good.
175
00:05:53,645 --> 00:05:54,897
And you better not be trying to sell me
176
00:05:54,980 --> 00:05:57,065
some non-dimmable halogens,
you son of a...
177
00:05:57,149 --> 00:05:59,359
-Where you at?
-Are you kidding me?
178
00:06:00,485 --> 00:06:02,112
(SIGHS)
179
00:06:02,362 --> 00:06:03,780
Hey, buddy.
180
00:06:04,573 --> 00:06:06,617
You know what you need to
surround yourself with tonight?
181
00:06:06,950 --> 00:06:09,411
Four new boobs.
182
00:06:12,664 --> 00:06:13,832
On two different women?
183
00:06:13,916 --> 00:06:15,042
You're damn right.
184
00:06:15,626 --> 00:06:16,793
Take me to them.
185
00:06:16,919 --> 00:06:18,378
(LAUGHS)
186
00:06:18,462 --> 00:06:21,089
Um, do you want to, like,
go find a bar, grab a drink?
187
00:06:22,007 --> 00:06:24,343
There's a bar that I like.
188
00:06:24,426 --> 00:06:27,179
It's called... my place.
189
00:06:27,346 --> 00:06:29,806
Great. Uh, is it...
You think it'll be crowded?
190
00:06:29,890 --> 00:06:31,517
You know I'm talking
about my house, right?
191
00:06:31,600 --> 00:06:33,227
Okay. Yeah, no, I wasn't...
I thought that was just
192
00:06:33,310 --> 00:06:34,937
-a clever name, but now I do.
-No.
193
00:06:35,020 --> 00:06:37,022
And, yeah, let's go there.
194
00:06:37,105 --> 00:06:38,148
(LAUGHS)
195
00:06:39,525 --> 00:06:41,401
Um, one thing I want to,
196
00:06:41,485 --> 00:06:43,403
uh, disclose to you in a very mature
197
00:06:43,487 --> 00:06:46,240
adult way, I... live with my ex.
198
00:06:46,823 --> 00:06:47,991
-Okay.
-Yeah.
199
00:06:48,075 --> 00:06:49,284
Uh, yeah, you live with your ex.
200
00:06:49,368 --> 00:06:51,078
But also three other guys.
201
00:06:51,161 --> 00:06:52,538
It's more zany than sexy.
202
00:06:52,621 --> 00:06:54,957
Okay. So it, like,
wasn't really serious?
203
00:06:55,040 --> 00:06:56,333
Oh, it was very serious.
204
00:06:56,708 --> 00:06:58,126
Did you say "I love you"?
205
00:06:58,210 --> 00:07:00,379
Not until he said it. (CHUCKLES)
206
00:07:00,587 --> 00:07:03,006
Uh, yeah, I don't think I can do this.
207
00:07:03,090 --> 00:07:04,258
-I'm sorry. I just...
-What?
208
00:07:04,341 --> 00:07:06,093
-I've been on so many weird dates lately.
-No. Ian.
209
00:07:06,176 --> 00:07:07,886
-I'm just looking for something easier.
-No, Ian, Ian, Ian,
210
00:07:08,053 --> 00:07:10,013
Ian, Ian, look.
211
00:07:10,097 --> 00:07:12,307
Yes, I live with my ex.
212
00:07:13,642 --> 00:07:16,061
But there's nothing to worry about.
213
00:07:17,604 --> 00:07:18,689
Because...
214
00:07:19,398 --> 00:07:21,191
Nick. You're gay.
215
00:07:21,275 --> 00:07:22,401
-Huh?
-You're gay.
216
00:07:22,484 --> 00:07:24,111
Be gay. Be gay. Be gay.
217
00:07:24,194 --> 00:07:25,195
Be gay?
218
00:07:25,279 --> 00:07:26,613
Hey. (CHUCKLES)
219
00:07:26,697 --> 00:07:28,657
I just had to make sure
these animals flushed.
220
00:07:28,740 --> 00:07:30,325
-Oh.
-Not you, you fastidious queen.
221
00:07:30,826 --> 00:07:32,661
Oh, you must be Nick.
222
00:07:33,495 --> 00:07:35,664
Well, friends call me Gay Nick.
223
00:07:38,667 --> 00:07:41,503
My perfect Sunday?
Sitting here, watching the game,
224
00:07:41,587 --> 00:07:43,088
eating a pot pie with a hot dude
225
00:07:43,172 --> 00:07:45,507
with no shirt on,
on my lap kissing me.
226
00:07:45,591 --> 00:07:47,718
-Right on, man.
-Right on, man.
227
00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:49,052
-All right.
-You got it.
228
00:07:49,136 --> 00:07:50,345
(IMITATES EXPLOSION)
229
00:07:50,429 --> 00:07:51,555
Uh, can I use your restroom?
230
00:07:51,638 --> 00:07:53,015
Yeah. It's down the hall to the right.
231
00:07:53,265 --> 00:07:54,641
Don't worry. I won't peek.
232
00:07:54,725 --> 00:07:56,518
-But he wants to.
-(CHUCKLES)
233
00:07:56,602 --> 00:07:58,020
Oh, my God, I am so sorry.
234
00:07:58,103 --> 00:07:59,396
I should just tell him the truth.
235
00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:01,064
It's too late for the truth, Jess.
236
00:08:01,148 --> 00:08:02,149
You live with a gay man,
237
00:08:02,232 --> 00:08:03,525
and this gay man's
gonna help you get laid.
238
00:08:03,609 --> 00:08:06,320
-Okay. Thank you.
-You're welcome.
239
00:08:06,403 --> 00:08:07,946
Do you think you can play a gay man?
240
00:08:08,030 --> 00:08:09,948
I'm terrible at lying,
I'm terrific at make-believe.
241
00:08:10,032 --> 00:08:12,034
-Okay.
-Okay? But I need to know some backstory
242
00:08:12,117 --> 00:08:13,577
'cause it's very important to me.
243
00:08:13,660 --> 00:08:15,370
-Okay. Yeah, backstory's important.
-Okay.
244
00:08:15,454 --> 00:08:16,830
Tell me, have I always known I was gay,
245
00:08:16,914 --> 00:08:18,457
or did I just recently realize it?
246
00:08:18,540 --> 00:08:20,292
That's... Um, you always
knew you were gay,
247
00:08:20,626 --> 00:08:22,544
but you grew up in an oil town
248
00:08:22,628 --> 00:08:24,505
where masculinity was
the most valued currency.
249
00:08:24,755 --> 00:08:26,757
Um, you... you had an older
brother named Chip.
250
00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:28,717
-And Chip was a union guy.
-Yes.
251
00:08:28,800 --> 00:08:30,719
And if it wasn't about Teamster Local 11,
252
00:08:30,802 --> 00:08:32,179
Chip didn't want to hear about it.
253
00:08:32,262 --> 00:08:33,347
Oh, my God, we're doing this.
254
00:08:33,430 --> 00:08:34,890
When I came out, was it flashy?
255
00:08:34,973 --> 00:08:36,058
Was it emotional?
256
00:08:36,141 --> 00:08:38,727
Am I mad that Anderson Cooper
doesn't fly the flag?
257
00:08:38,810 --> 00:08:41,813
Or for what he's doing,
in his own way, is it even braver?
258
00:08:41,897 --> 00:08:43,565
These are all really good
questions, but I just can't
259
00:08:43,649 --> 00:08:45,526
get my mind off, like,
why you dress this way.
260
00:08:45,609 --> 00:08:47,986
-Why aren't you in better shape?
-Don't put me in a box!
261
00:08:48,070 --> 00:08:51,281
There's nothing we gay men hate
more than being put in a box.
262
00:08:51,365 --> 00:08:53,992
Look, maybe I'm a bear,
maybe I'm a twinkler.
263
00:08:54,076 --> 00:08:56,495
-That's not a category.
-(LOUDLY) I like rugby
264
00:08:56,787 --> 00:08:59,206
for the game and for the men.
265
00:08:59,331 --> 00:09:00,916
Now, if you excuse me,
I got to go do
266
00:09:00,999 --> 00:09:02,459
that gay thing I was telling you about,
267
00:09:02,543 --> 00:09:04,461
because, of course, I'm gay as hell.
268
00:09:04,586 --> 00:09:05,963
-(LAUGHS)
-Bye.
269
00:09:06,046 --> 00:09:07,631
(WHISPERS)
That's not how gay men talk.
270
00:09:07,714 --> 00:09:09,925
(WHISPERS) I am shattering stereotypes.
271
00:09:11,635 --> 00:09:13,178
What are you doing here, man?
272
00:09:13,387 --> 00:09:14,555
WINSTON: I'm always here.
273
00:09:14,638 --> 00:09:16,431
Very definition of the long game.
274
00:09:16,557 --> 00:09:18,100
COACH: Forget your long game.
It doesn't...
275
00:09:18,433 --> 00:09:19,518
What is he...
276
00:09:20,727 --> 00:09:22,145
What are you doing, man?
277
00:09:22,563 --> 00:09:23,981
Is this...
278
00:09:24,773 --> 00:09:26,733
Is this the... the future?
279
00:09:28,235 --> 00:09:30,612
-I can hold them both in one hand.
-Yeah, man.
280
00:09:30,696 --> 00:09:31,822
(SIGHS)
281
00:09:31,905 --> 00:09:33,532
No, no, there it is. Look at that.
282
00:09:33,615 --> 00:09:35,909
Stage four, depression.
283
00:09:37,202 --> 00:09:39,621
My two best friends are going away.
284
00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:42,374
Going away far too soon.
285
00:09:42,457 --> 00:09:45,294
And if you were lucky enough
to meet them,
286
00:09:45,544 --> 00:09:48,714
to touch them, to be touched by them,
287
00:09:48,881 --> 00:09:50,716
you came away a better person.
288
00:09:51,008 --> 00:09:52,426
If you'll excuse me.
289
00:09:52,509 --> 00:09:54,178
Is he... is he talking about you guys?
290
00:09:54,344 --> 00:09:57,306
Yes. Yes, he is, uh...
he's talking about us.
291
00:09:57,472 --> 00:09:59,933
We are, unfortunately,
we're going away... tomorrow.
292
00:10:00,309 --> 00:10:03,604
So, uh, we better make
tonight count, huh, ladies?
293
00:10:03,687 --> 00:10:06,732
Wait. We barely got to know you!
294
00:10:06,815 --> 00:10:08,984
How long will you be gone?
295
00:10:09,526 --> 00:10:11,778
For... for...
296
00:10:11,862 --> 00:10:13,697
-Forty-four weeks.
-Forty-four weeks?
297
00:10:13,780 --> 00:10:14,781
Tell them about our business, man.
298
00:10:14,865 --> 00:10:16,491
You don't have to be shy about it.
299
00:10:16,575 --> 00:10:18,452
-Uh, right.
-No. Yeah.
300
00:10:18,535 --> 00:10:20,495
Hello. Do you like socks?
301
00:10:21,288 --> 00:10:22,414
We sell socks.
302
00:10:22,789 --> 00:10:24,791
Everybody likes socks.
303
00:10:25,667 --> 00:10:27,294
I just cried on my penis
while I was peeing.
304
00:10:27,377 --> 00:10:28,962
-Whoa.
-SCHMIDT: That happened.
305
00:10:29,087 --> 00:10:30,797
I just can't stop thinking about them.
306
00:10:30,881 --> 00:10:32,174
(SIGHS)
307
00:10:32,257 --> 00:10:34,968
You know, there are some people
that are gonna say that they...
308
00:10:35,302 --> 00:10:37,054
they look alike.
309
00:10:37,346 --> 00:10:39,640
That they're exactly the same.
And you know what?
310
00:10:39,723 --> 00:10:41,808
They just don't know them
like I know them.
311
00:10:41,892 --> 00:10:43,435
Truth... truth be told?
312
00:10:43,519 --> 00:10:44,811
One of them...
313
00:10:45,187 --> 00:10:47,314
One of them is slightly
more brown than the other.
314
00:10:47,773 --> 00:10:49,066
And they're so unique,
315
00:10:49,650 --> 00:10:51,151
and they're so special.
316
00:10:51,610 --> 00:10:53,111
You know what I'm gonna miss
most about them?
317
00:10:54,655 --> 00:10:55,989
Watching them bounce.
318
00:10:56,698 --> 00:10:57,699
Watching them...
319
00:10:57,783 --> 00:10:59,785
Watching them bounce.
320
00:11:08,585 --> 00:11:10,337
WINSTON: If you just give me
a chance to exp...
321
00:11:10,504 --> 00:11:12,923
Well, easy come, easy go.
322
00:11:13,507 --> 00:11:16,134
Easy? Easy?
323
00:11:16,218 --> 00:11:18,929
You just stole six
months of my life, man.
324
00:11:19,012 --> 00:11:22,641
I am... I am PO'd, hombre!
325
00:11:22,724 --> 00:11:23,892
Winston!
326
00:11:25,519 --> 00:11:26,937
-Can I get a high five?
-Bam.
327
00:11:27,020 --> 00:11:28,438
(LAUGHS)
328
00:11:29,106 --> 00:11:30,399
Sorry I called you a biscuit.
329
00:11:30,482 --> 00:11:32,484
-I'm sorry I liked it so much.
-(LAUGHS)
330
00:11:32,568 --> 00:11:34,236
-(KNOCKING)
-NICK: Hey, Jess, you in there?
331
00:11:34,778 --> 00:11:37,114
-Is that Nick?
-Do you mean Gay Nick?
332
00:11:37,197 --> 00:11:38,532
Yeah, that's Gay Nick.
333
00:11:41,451 --> 00:11:43,287
-(WHISPERING) I am so sorry.
-What's going on?
334
00:11:43,370 --> 00:11:45,122
-I screwed up.
-(DOOR OPENS)
335
00:11:49,293 --> 00:11:50,669
-A girl, Nick?
-I know.
336
00:11:50,752 --> 00:11:51,879
Nick, really?
337
00:11:52,838 --> 00:11:53,881
(LAUGHS) Hey.
338
00:11:53,964 --> 00:11:55,924
(LAUGHS)
339
00:11:57,926 --> 00:12:00,262
You look like my dead friend Karen.
340
00:12:00,470 --> 00:12:02,764
-Does anyone ever tell you that?
-JESS: Hmm, no.
341
00:12:02,890 --> 00:12:04,433
-Thank you.
-NICK: Hmm.
342
00:12:06,018 --> 00:12:07,769
-(DOOR CLOSES)
-What?
343
00:12:07,853 --> 00:12:09,605
I wanted to be gay for you, I really did,
344
00:12:09,688 --> 00:12:11,648
but it's a very hard time to be gay.
345
00:12:11,899 --> 00:12:14,026
Girls are wearing scarves and boots.
346
00:12:14,109 --> 00:12:15,611
They have so many layers to them.
347
00:12:15,694 --> 00:12:17,905
What is underneath all those layers?
I want to find out!
348
00:12:17,988 --> 00:12:19,781
Are you blaming autumn?
349
00:12:19,865 --> 00:12:22,117
Look, it was one night. Get rid of her!
350
00:12:22,242 --> 00:12:24,745
I tried. I told her I live with my ex,
and she didn't care.
351
00:12:24,828 --> 00:12:26,663
-You look so cute in the morning.
-(LAUGHS)
352
00:12:26,914 --> 00:12:28,624
-You talking to me or her?
-(LAUGHTER)
353
00:12:28,707 --> 00:12:31,043
-(DOOR CLOSES)
-Okay. I'll get rid of her.
354
00:12:31,168 --> 00:12:33,003
I'll just pretend
to be your crazy ex-girlfriend.
355
00:12:33,086 --> 00:12:35,964
I can do this. I did a one-woman
production of A Christmas Carol.
356
00:12:36,048 --> 00:12:38,884
(BRITISH ACCENT) You, sir, what day is it?
357
00:12:38,967 --> 00:12:41,136
Aye, it's Christmas day.
358
00:12:41,887 --> 00:12:43,472
That was not good.
359
00:12:43,764 --> 00:12:46,558
-It was perfect.
-Thank you. I thought you'd think that.
360
00:12:46,642 --> 00:12:47,726
-Yeah, it's perfect.
-All right, look,
361
00:12:47,809 --> 00:12:49,728
you stay here
and keep your gay warm, okay?
362
00:12:49,811 --> 00:12:51,647
In case Ian comes back.
Also, can we agree
363
00:12:51,730 --> 00:12:53,774
that this is not the most
mature way to handle things?
364
00:12:53,857 --> 00:12:54,900
Even though it's pretty fun.
365
00:12:54,983 --> 00:12:56,318
It's no fun a couple Bellinis
366
00:12:56,401 --> 00:12:58,570
and a round of
apples to apples can't solve.
367
00:12:58,946 --> 00:13:00,739
-What kind of gay are you?
-I'm still finding it.
368
00:13:00,822 --> 00:13:02,074
-All right.
-All right.
369
00:13:04,868 --> 00:13:07,663
Nick thinks we're broken up,
but he also thinks
370
00:13:07,746 --> 00:13:10,040
that the last girl he slept
with wasn't me in a wig.
371
00:13:10,123 --> 00:13:11,542
(LAUGHS)
372
00:13:11,625 --> 00:13:13,669
Wigs are so good for tricking guys.
373
00:13:14,711 --> 00:13:16,797
I'm around all the time.
374
00:13:17,047 --> 00:13:19,299
Do you really want to get
yourself in this situation?
375
00:13:19,383 --> 00:13:22,553
My last boyfriend was, like,
honestly in his 80s.
376
00:13:22,636 --> 00:13:25,722
I was just like, "Don't die, Myron."
377
00:13:25,806 --> 00:13:27,933
Does that answer your question?
378
00:13:28,016 --> 00:13:29,601
Tell me everything you did sexually!
379
00:13:29,685 --> 00:13:31,478
Everything! All of it, or leave!
380
00:13:31,603 --> 00:13:32,688
-I put my finger...
-Stop!
381
00:13:33,230 --> 00:13:34,231
-But you asked...
-No.
382
00:13:34,314 --> 00:13:36,441
I... I did, but it backfired.
383
00:13:36,733 --> 00:13:39,778
Ah, so it is load bearing, huh?
384
00:13:40,696 --> 00:13:41,864
What are you doing?
385
00:13:41,947 --> 00:13:44,658
Me? Oh, well, first,
I'm putting up the shelves.
386
00:13:44,741 --> 00:13:45,993
Then I got to finish the floor,
387
00:13:46,076 --> 00:13:48,579
so that the shelves can
appear level, then the ceiling.
388
00:13:48,662 --> 00:13:51,248
Enough! All right?
You've done enough for these women.
389
00:13:51,373 --> 00:13:54,501
Look, ladies, I tried to manipulate you,
and I am sorry about that,
390
00:13:54,585 --> 00:13:57,504
but you guys have been manipulating
my friend for months.
391
00:13:57,713 --> 00:14:00,757
It is not okay. Just dangling
sex like a little carrot.
392
00:14:00,841 --> 00:14:03,260
We are not using sex
to get Winston to do stuff.
393
00:14:03,343 --> 00:14:04,344
No.
394
00:14:04,428 --> 00:14:07,389
-Wait. You're not?
-No.
395
00:14:07,472 --> 00:14:08,640
Well, then he's done doing stuff.
396
00:14:08,724 --> 00:14:10,767
Come on, Winston.
You're better than this.
397
00:14:10,851 --> 00:14:12,477
Forget you guys.
398
00:14:12,561 --> 00:14:13,562
Wait!
399
00:14:13,645 --> 00:14:16,064
Yeah, just... just give us a minute.
400
00:14:16,148 --> 00:14:17,608
-Okay, we have to talk about...
-Okay.
401
00:14:17,774 --> 00:14:19,860
-What are they whispering about?
-I don't know.
402
00:14:19,943 --> 00:14:21,111
We could just stack the books.
403
00:14:21,320 --> 00:14:22,613
-No...
-No.
404
00:14:23,071 --> 00:14:24,823
Oh, man, this is embarrassing.
405
00:14:27,367 --> 00:14:28,368
Uh...
406
00:14:28,744 --> 00:14:30,871
Okay. It's me.
407
00:14:30,954 --> 00:14:32,164
Come on.
408
00:14:32,497 --> 00:14:33,498
What?
409
00:14:33,582 --> 00:14:35,417
Wait. Listen. Um...
410
00:14:35,501 --> 00:14:36,502
Michelle, you don't have to do this.
411
00:14:36,585 --> 00:14:37,669
That's okay. I kind of want to.
412
00:14:37,878 --> 00:14:39,838
Just, uh, keep the
pencil behind your ear,
413
00:14:39,922 --> 00:14:43,967
and bring the hard hat,
um, and the safety goggles.
414
00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:49,765
(WHISPERS) Long game.
415
00:14:54,811 --> 00:14:56,188
(SIGHS)
416
00:14:56,271 --> 00:14:58,607
Wonder what's taking,
uh, Jess so long.
417
00:14:58,690 --> 00:14:59,858
Well, you know women.
418
00:14:59,942 --> 00:15:01,109
What's women?
419
00:15:01,360 --> 00:15:02,569
(LAUGHS)
420
00:15:04,571 --> 00:15:07,407
-(LAUGHS) Am I right?
-"What's women?"
421
00:15:08,617 --> 00:15:10,118
I just don't know them
like you know them, is my point.
422
00:15:10,202 --> 00:15:11,203
Uh-huh.
423
00:15:11,912 --> 00:15:15,040
Uh, so, what kind of guys
do you like to date?
424
00:15:15,123 --> 00:15:16,333
Me? All kinds.
425
00:15:16,416 --> 00:15:17,501
Yeah.
426
00:15:17,793 --> 00:15:21,755
Hunks. If I can get my, uh,
paws on a hunk, I don't let go.
427
00:15:22,256 --> 00:15:24,299
Uh, ripped nerds.
428
00:15:24,383 --> 00:15:26,677
'Cause they're smart but strong, I guess.
429
00:15:26,802 --> 00:15:28,554
-Uh-huh.
-I like Spanish guys.
430
00:15:28,929 --> 00:15:31,098
Throw in a little, uh,
hint of German in there,
431
00:15:31,181 --> 00:15:32,641
there's a perfect combo.
432
00:15:32,724 --> 00:15:33,725
Okay.
433
00:15:34,518 --> 00:15:35,936
Certain ice cream men, I guess.
434
00:15:36,270 --> 00:15:38,438
Carpet steamers. Sleepy guys.
435
00:15:38,605 --> 00:15:41,358
Uh, we in the gay community
call them "drowsers."
436
00:15:41,441 --> 00:15:42,860
Why would you like a sleepy guy?
437
00:15:42,943 --> 00:15:45,153
Look... I'm so out of the game...
438
00:15:45,237 --> 00:15:46,238
I'm in a relationship.
439
00:15:46,321 --> 00:15:47,573
Um...
440
00:15:47,656 --> 00:15:49,032
He's got a nice penis.
441
00:15:49,241 --> 00:15:51,118
You're sweating a lot.
442
00:15:51,201 --> 00:15:52,870
That's what he said! Am I right?
443
00:15:53,078 --> 00:15:54,288
(LAUGHS)
444
00:15:54,371 --> 00:15:57,666
I'm a sweaty lover,
is what he says to me.
445
00:15:57,749 --> 00:15:59,459
Okay, you know,
you really don't seem gay.
446
00:15:59,543 --> 00:16:00,961
I don't buy it.
447
00:16:04,006 --> 00:16:05,716
-Hey.
-Not now.
448
00:16:05,841 --> 00:16:07,551
Probably wondering why I
didn't come home last night.
449
00:16:08,093 --> 00:16:10,637
Just needed some space
to process this whole thing.
450
00:16:10,721 --> 00:16:12,306
I'm sorry if our room felt empty.
451
00:16:14,183 --> 00:16:15,309
(SIGHS)
452
00:16:15,934 --> 00:16:17,019
Well, it did.
453
00:16:17,186 --> 00:16:18,729
I was really worried about you.
454
00:16:18,812 --> 00:16:20,939
So where were you?
You owe me that much.
455
00:16:21,815 --> 00:16:23,567
I just went walking on
the streets last night.
456
00:16:23,692 --> 00:16:25,903
I needed to come to terms with all this.
457
00:16:25,986 --> 00:16:28,822
Ended up in a park. I know that's stupid,
458
00:16:28,906 --> 00:16:29,990
but I promise I was careful.
459
00:16:30,199 --> 00:16:31,575
I mean, I was totally safe.
460
00:16:31,658 --> 00:16:32,868
A park?
461
00:16:32,993 --> 00:16:34,745
-I don't know, man.
-NICK: Hey,
462
00:16:34,828 --> 00:16:37,122
I'm upset... but I understand.
463
00:16:37,539 --> 00:16:38,832
It's okay.
464
00:16:38,957 --> 00:16:39,958
Come here.
465
00:16:42,211 --> 00:16:43,420
Come here.
466
00:16:43,504 --> 00:16:45,172
(SIGHS) There, there.
467
00:16:49,801 --> 00:16:51,428
-Thanks.
-Yeah.
468
00:16:51,595 --> 00:16:53,430
Acceptance. Wow.
469
00:16:53,514 --> 00:16:54,681
Yeah.
470
00:16:57,309 --> 00:16:58,435
Give me a kiss.
471
00:17:00,103 --> 00:17:01,980
Just give me a kiss.
472
00:17:02,064 --> 00:17:03,232
All right?
473
00:17:07,110 --> 00:17:08,904
I felt like you needed that
more than I did.
474
00:17:10,155 --> 00:17:11,156
(SIGHS)
475
00:17:11,240 --> 00:17:13,033
Your scruff, by the way, is perfect.
476
00:17:13,116 --> 00:17:15,202
-Don't touch your beard trimming setting.
-NICK: Okay.
477
00:17:16,245 --> 00:17:17,579
-SCHMIDT: Take it easy.
-Okay.
478
00:17:19,331 --> 00:17:20,749
That was beautiful.
479
00:17:20,832 --> 00:17:22,042
I'm... I'm sorry, you know?
480
00:17:22,125 --> 00:17:23,585
I think I'm just more used to, like,
481
00:17:23,669 --> 00:17:25,420
stereotypical gay guys,
like him, you know?
482
00:17:25,838 --> 00:17:27,381
-You offended me.
-I'm sorry.
483
00:17:27,464 --> 00:17:28,757
JESS: Ian! Ian!
484
00:17:29,049 --> 00:17:30,676
Ian, hi. There are some events
that are about to occur
485
00:17:30,759 --> 00:17:32,010
that I'd like to get ahead of.
486
00:17:32,094 --> 00:17:33,887
Um, the truth is that Nick is...
487
00:17:34,638 --> 00:17:35,681
Oh, God.
488
00:17:38,183 --> 00:17:40,936
Get off of me! You're not a man!
489
00:17:44,523 --> 00:17:48,277
Ian! Wait. I'm so sorry I lied,
490
00:17:48,360 --> 00:17:51,029
and you don't owe me anything,
but could I just
491
00:17:51,113 --> 00:17:52,364
ask you one thing before you leave?
492
00:17:52,447 --> 00:17:54,825
-What is this, an exit interview?
-Is there any good way
493
00:17:54,908 --> 00:17:56,785
I could have told you
about my living situation?
494
00:17:56,869 --> 00:17:59,371
Okay, you know what?
Fair question. Um... no!
495
00:17:59,538 --> 00:18:01,415
Look, Nick was just trying to help me.
496
00:18:01,498 --> 00:18:03,542
Clearly, he would do anything for you.
I mean, he went so far
497
00:18:03,625 --> 00:18:05,961
as to hire an actual gay man
to play his cheating lover.
498
00:18:06,420 --> 00:18:09,173
What? Oh, my God. You know what?
499
00:18:09,256 --> 00:18:10,591
I think that was Schmidt.
500
00:18:10,674 --> 00:18:12,176
He's... not gay.
501
00:18:12,259 --> 00:18:14,219
When are the lies gonna stop?
502
00:18:14,344 --> 00:18:16,972
Now, this is just a consultation,
so do your best to relax.
503
00:18:17,055 --> 00:18:18,098
Okay.
504
00:18:18,182 --> 00:18:19,600
Stop the surgery!
505
00:18:19,683 --> 00:18:21,935
This is just a consultation.
506
00:18:22,019 --> 00:18:23,103
May we have the room, please?
507
00:18:23,187 --> 00:18:24,688
That's what it's here for.
508
00:18:25,314 --> 00:18:26,315
I'm sorry.
509
00:18:29,610 --> 00:18:31,153
-What are you doing?
-Okay, look, I know
510
00:18:31,236 --> 00:18:34,406
I can't stop this, and I accept that,
511
00:18:34,489 --> 00:18:35,949
but I just wanted to stop it long enough
512
00:18:36,033 --> 00:18:37,284
so that I could say good-bye.
513
00:18:37,826 --> 00:18:41,079
Aw. Look, this is a
low-risk procedure, okay?
514
00:18:41,163 --> 00:18:42,706
I'm gonna be fine.
515
00:18:43,540 --> 00:18:44,875
Oh, you meant say good-bye to my boobs.
516
00:18:44,958 --> 00:18:46,460
I forgot who I was talking to.
517
00:18:46,543 --> 00:18:49,046
No, Schmidt, you cannot see my boobs.
518
00:18:49,129 --> 00:18:51,381
I need to look them in the eyes.
I can't let them leave
519
00:18:51,465 --> 00:18:52,966
without knowing how much
they've meant to me.
520
00:18:53,050 --> 00:18:54,092
-I'll let them know.
-No.
521
00:18:54,593 --> 00:18:56,094
I need to tell them myself.
522
00:18:56,386 --> 00:18:58,555
(GROANS) All right...
523
00:18:59,014 --> 00:19:01,225
you can say good-bye to one, all right?
524
00:19:01,308 --> 00:19:02,935
-I mean, just one?
-One.
525
00:19:03,060 --> 00:19:05,604
(SIGHS) Gosh almighty.
526
00:19:06,396 --> 00:19:08,023
The Ultimate Sophie's Cho-Cho.
527
00:19:08,273 --> 00:19:10,108
I mean, there's Harold, who's just...
528
00:19:11,109 --> 00:19:12,194
full of life...
529
00:19:12,277 --> 00:19:13,362
(GROANS)
530
00:19:13,445 --> 00:19:16,365
(SIGHS) And Kumar, who's shy.
531
00:19:17,115 --> 00:19:19,451
Who's shy, but yet
surprisingly so brave.
532
00:19:19,535 --> 00:19:22,538
But, you know, who wouldn't be
with a best friend like Harold?
533
00:19:22,621 --> 00:19:24,206
Oh, my God, fine!
534
00:19:24,289 --> 00:19:25,874
You can say good-bye to both, okay?
535
00:19:25,958 --> 00:19:28,168
-Okay. I need you to put these on.
-What?
536
00:19:28,752 --> 00:19:31,880
This is a private conversation
that doesn't concern you.
537
00:19:31,964 --> 00:19:33,632
The playlist...
538
00:19:33,715 --> 00:19:35,133
matches the mood.
539
00:19:35,384 --> 00:19:37,636
(PACHELBEL'S CANON IN D PLAYING)
540
00:19:48,856 --> 00:19:50,858
(INAUDIBLE)
541
00:20:09,126 --> 00:20:10,377
(MUSIC FADES)
542
00:20:10,460 --> 00:20:12,129
I mean, I guess if I'm being honest,
543
00:20:12,212 --> 00:20:14,882
it doesn't matter what size you are.
544
00:20:15,424 --> 00:20:17,050
I'm always gonna love you,
545
00:20:17,134 --> 00:20:19,094
because you're attached
to the most beautiful person
546
00:20:19,178 --> 00:20:20,637
in the whole world.
547
00:20:20,846 --> 00:20:22,306
(MUSIC RESUMES)
548
00:20:22,389 --> 00:20:23,849
(INAUDIBLE)
549
00:20:26,852 --> 00:20:28,103
You know what I think?
550
00:20:28,187 --> 00:20:31,064
I think that when people go
on dates with us,
551
00:20:31,148 --> 00:20:33,734
probably talk to their friends
and their friends say,
552
00:20:33,817 --> 00:20:35,986
"You go on dates with a lot of weirdos."
553
00:20:36,153 --> 00:20:37,446
-(SHOWER RUNNING)
-Oh, my God.
554
00:20:38,530 --> 00:20:40,324
We're the weirdo ass clowns.
555
00:20:40,407 --> 00:20:43,744
Aw, no. Everyone in their 30s
waits in line for the shower.
556
00:20:44,453 --> 00:20:47,873
I'm sorry, but the truth is,
as long as you live with me,
557
00:20:47,956 --> 00:20:49,541
you're not gonna meet a normal guy.
558
00:20:49,625 --> 00:20:50,751
(JESS CHUCKLES)
559
00:20:51,210 --> 00:20:52,711
Why are you guys all in here?
560
00:20:52,794 --> 00:20:54,379
Winston's taking a long-ass shower.
561
00:20:54,505 --> 00:20:55,631
Poor guy gets dirty.
562
00:20:55,714 --> 00:20:56,924
All right, let me see the new.
563
00:20:57,007 --> 00:20:58,008
I accept it.
564
00:20:58,091 --> 00:21:00,677
Again, it was just a consultation.
565
00:21:00,761 --> 00:21:02,387
And actually, I don't even know
if I'm gonna go through with it.
566
00:21:02,471 --> 00:21:04,306
You're still here. I saved you.
567
00:21:04,515 --> 00:21:06,475
I'm your Schindler.
One day, your children
568
00:21:06,558 --> 00:21:07,893
are gonna put rocks on my grave.
569
00:21:07,976 --> 00:21:10,562
Hey, uh, wow.
You guys mind if I get cuts?
570
00:21:10,646 --> 00:21:12,940
-'Cause I am very dirty.
-JESS: Wait a minute.
571
00:21:13,023 --> 00:21:14,066
Who's in the...
572
00:21:14,149 --> 00:21:17,277
Hey, what's the vibe here
on shower pee-pee?
573
00:21:17,361 --> 00:21:18,695
I'm just trying to plan my day.
574
00:21:18,779 --> 00:21:20,489
Who is this woman?
575
00:21:20,572 --> 00:21:22,699
You have awesome water pressure.
576
00:21:22,783 --> 00:21:25,953
You should see
what's falling out of my hair.
577
00:21:26,620 --> 00:21:28,121
Well, Nick...
578
00:21:28,914 --> 00:21:30,290
looks like you're gonna
have to marry her.
579
00:21:30,374 --> 00:21:32,459
-It's looking that way, isn't it?
-Yeah.
580
00:21:33,001 --> 00:21:34,962
-She's not so bad.
-She's peeing in the shower.
581
00:21:35,045 --> 00:21:36,046
Yeah, she is.
582
00:21:36,213 --> 00:21:38,841
JESS: (LAUGHS) That's weird.
NICK: Classic Tina.
42364
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