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1
00:00:01,436 --> 00:00:05,344
[brass fanfare]
2
00:00:05,512 --> 00:00:07,248
Can you believe
we're at Hephaestus'
3
00:00:07,248 --> 00:00:08,784
technology convention?
4
00:00:08,784 --> 00:00:10,487
Are you so excited?
- Yeah.
5
00:00:10,487 --> 00:00:12,391
If there's two things
smart people love,
6
00:00:12,391 --> 00:00:15,131
it's huge crowds
and more smart people.
7
00:00:15,131 --> 00:00:17,401
Is that a giant automaton?
8
00:00:17,401 --> 00:00:19,740
I didn't even know
that was possible yet.
9
00:00:19,740 --> 00:00:21,176
Welcome to VolCon.
10
00:00:21,176 --> 00:00:23,280
I am not an automaton.
11
00:00:23,280 --> 00:00:27,054
I am a living giant,
painted gold
12
00:00:27,054 --> 00:00:29,192
and forced to repeat
this message
13
00:00:29,192 --> 00:00:31,228
by mechanized torture,
14
00:00:31,228 --> 00:00:33,901
which is arguably
more impressive.
15
00:00:33,901 --> 00:00:36,072
Welcome to VolCon.
16
00:00:36,072 --> 00:00:38,944
Ah, I should not
have looked up.
17
00:00:38,944 --> 00:00:40,080
Were they painted gold?
18
00:00:40,080 --> 00:00:41,950
Someone may have died trying.
19
00:00:41,950 --> 00:00:43,655
Tyrannis, you're happy
with my work
20
00:00:43,655 --> 00:00:44,890
as your inventor, right?
21
00:00:44,890 --> 00:00:47,027
You didn't, like,
bring me here to show me
22
00:00:47,027 --> 00:00:49,833
how replaceable I am?
- That's your take?
23
00:00:49,833 --> 00:00:51,704
How can the smartest guy
in my family
24
00:00:51,704 --> 00:00:54,308
also be the most childish
and least secure?
25
00:00:54,308 --> 00:00:57,348
I don't know, maybe years
of you saying stuff like that?
26
00:00:57,348 --> 00:00:59,218
Hippocampus,
you're my big brother
27
00:00:59,218 --> 00:01:01,255
and a genius,
and I brought you here
28
00:01:01,255 --> 00:01:02,993
to connect with great thinkers.
29
00:01:02,993 --> 00:01:04,529
So, please,
grow up and enjoy it
30
00:01:04,529 --> 00:01:08,036
because I'm giving you
a priceless opportunity.
31
00:01:08,036 --> 00:01:10,074
- Two chickens, please.
- Two chick--
32
00:01:10,074 --> 00:01:12,713
I thought this was
a priceless opportunity.
33
00:01:12,713 --> 00:01:14,148
Two adults, two chickens.
34
00:01:14,148 --> 00:01:15,552
This was
our lunch and dinner.
35
00:01:15,552 --> 00:01:18,123
No outside food or drinks.
We do sell eggs.
36
00:01:18,123 --> 00:01:20,160
Oh, I bet you do.
37
00:01:20,160 --> 00:01:23,333
[plucky music]
38
00:01:23,333 --> 00:01:30,548
♪ ♪
39
00:01:45,545 --> 00:01:48,449
[crowing]
40
00:01:49,786 --> 00:01:51,122
[moos]
41
00:01:51,122 --> 00:01:52,592
Where is everyone?
42
00:01:52,592 --> 00:01:54,697
Ty and Hippo
are at a tech convention,
43
00:01:54,697 --> 00:01:57,368
and Stupendous is adventuring,
leaving their parents
44
00:01:57,468 --> 00:02:00,207
an entire palace
for their erotic playground.
45
00:02:00,207 --> 00:02:02,478
Aren't you, like, 5,000?
46
00:02:02,478 --> 00:02:04,983
How does sex
still interest you?
47
00:02:04,983 --> 00:02:06,987
I married the goddess of it.
48
00:02:06,987 --> 00:02:09,158
That was a test,
and you passed.
49
00:02:09,258 --> 00:02:10,427
Ooh.
- Mm.
50
00:02:10,427 --> 00:02:13,233
- I'm in the room.
- Why?
51
00:02:13,233 --> 00:02:15,905
Emergency--I was adventuring
with my friend Felix,
52
00:02:15,905 --> 00:02:17,140
and we started fighting
a Medusa.
53
00:02:17,140 --> 00:02:18,476
- The Medusa.
- What?
54
00:02:18,476 --> 00:02:21,049
Medusa is one
of several Gorgons.
55
00:02:21,049 --> 00:02:24,122
You can fight
the Medusa or a Gorgon.
56
00:02:24,122 --> 00:02:26,125
You can't fight a Medusa.
57
00:02:26,125 --> 00:02:28,130
I don't think Felix cares.
58
00:02:28,130 --> 00:02:30,635
I need a ride to the nearest
temple of Athena.
59
00:02:30,635 --> 00:02:31,670
Why?
60
00:02:31,803 --> 00:02:33,908
The only way to reverse
a Medusa stoning is to--
61
00:02:33,908 --> 00:02:35,945
- Gorgon stoning.
- Do you want to die today?
62
00:02:35,945 --> 00:02:37,114
I'll stop helping.
63
00:02:37,114 --> 00:02:40,287
The only way to reverse this
is a sacrifice to Athena.
64
00:02:40,287 --> 00:02:43,761
Ha, you do realize Athena
created the Gorgons,
65
00:02:43,761 --> 00:02:44,964
which include Medusa?
66
00:02:44,964 --> 00:02:46,266
- Thank you.
- So?
67
00:02:46,266 --> 00:02:48,604
So her crappy monster
turns people to stone,
68
00:02:48,604 --> 00:02:51,275
and the only way to undo it
is to worship her?
69
00:02:51,275 --> 00:02:53,246
Talk about a scam.
70
00:02:53,246 --> 00:02:55,450
Can we talk about it
on the way to the temple?
71
00:02:55,450 --> 00:02:58,423
I'm not flying my daughter
back to that hack's temple
72
00:02:58,423 --> 00:03:00,294
to reverse her clumsy cursing.
73
00:03:00,294 --> 00:03:02,131
I'll turn your friend
back to flesh myself.
74
00:03:02,131 --> 00:03:03,232
You can do that?
75
00:03:03,232 --> 00:03:04,970
Did she just ask
if I can do that?
76
00:03:04,970 --> 00:03:07,074
- She did.
- I'm sorry?
77
00:03:07,074 --> 00:03:09,044
Give me your stupid friend.
78
00:03:09,044 --> 00:03:13,219
You can do that?
That's you.
79
00:03:13,219 --> 00:03:15,925
- Can she do it?
- Not sure.
80
00:03:15,925 --> 00:03:18,831
[deep plucky music]
81
00:03:19,331 --> 00:03:20,769
What's your invention, friend?
82
00:03:20,769 --> 00:03:23,407
A standard unit of measure
called the Ned.
83
00:03:23,407 --> 00:03:25,377
This stick is a quarter Ned.
84
00:03:25,377 --> 00:03:29,018
You are 3 and 1/2 quarter Neds.
- I suppose you're Ned.
85
00:03:29,018 --> 00:03:30,487
Easy to remember.
86
00:03:30,487 --> 00:03:32,424
We should use
the Ned system back home.
87
00:03:32,424 --> 00:03:34,929
I can measure things
with my own height.
88
00:03:34,929 --> 00:03:37,167
What are you, like, 3/4 Ned?
89
00:03:37,167 --> 00:03:38,838
That's a lot
of extra calculations
90
00:03:38,838 --> 00:03:40,140
just to service your vanity.
91
00:03:40,140 --> 00:03:41,710
I officially hate it here.
92
00:03:41,710 --> 00:03:43,479
Because you think
it's a competition.
93
00:03:43,479 --> 00:03:45,350
You practically
attacked the creator
94
00:03:45,350 --> 00:03:47,087
of the miniature bucket.
- It's a cup!
95
00:03:47,087 --> 00:03:48,524
So?
96
00:03:48,524 --> 00:03:50,562
You know what's more useful
than one genius, Hippocampus?
97
00:03:50,562 --> 00:03:53,333
100 Neds,
willing to work together.
98
00:03:53,333 --> 00:03:55,337
Hey, do not use me
as a metric of--
99
00:03:55,337 --> 00:03:57,842
I mean,
do use me as a metric, but--
100
00:03:57,842 --> 00:03:58,877
I was right.
101
00:03:59,011 --> 00:04:01,951
You brought me here
because you think I'm useless.
102
00:04:01,951 --> 00:04:03,486
I never said that.
103
00:04:03,486 --> 00:04:05,157
But have you ever
invented anything
104
00:04:05,157 --> 00:04:06,392
that anyone actually asked for?
105
00:04:06,392 --> 00:04:08,898
That wouldn't
be very inventive, would it?
106
00:04:08,898 --> 00:04:10,233
[laughter]
107
00:04:10,233 --> 00:04:11,636
Must be nice.
108
00:04:11,636 --> 00:04:13,974
Ned, where's
the Hephaestus panel happening?
109
00:04:13,974 --> 00:04:15,744
It's about 30 Stevens South--
110
00:04:15,744 --> 00:04:16,913
Neds, 30 Neds.
111
00:04:16,913 --> 00:04:18,416
Did you say 30 Stevens?
112
00:04:18,416 --> 00:04:20,154
Slip of the tongue--
30 Neds.
113
00:04:20,154 --> 00:04:22,659
- Who's Steven?
- Exactly.
114
00:04:22,659 --> 00:04:25,163
Ma, can I just have
my friend back?
115
00:04:25,163 --> 00:04:27,535
I'm coming in.
She bailed.
116
00:04:27,535 --> 00:04:29,739
- That's not like her.
- Yes, it is.
117
00:04:29,739 --> 00:04:30,641
Fair enough.
118
00:04:30,641 --> 00:04:33,012
Someone open
this door, please.
119
00:04:33,012 --> 00:04:34,048
Thank you.
120
00:04:34,181 --> 00:04:36,218
But if you're going to be
in here, cover your eye.
121
00:04:36,218 --> 00:04:38,925
- Is that the Medusa?
- Not for long.
122
00:04:38,925 --> 00:04:40,260
[hissing]
123
00:04:40,260 --> 00:04:41,696
Yes, darling,
get over yourself.
124
00:04:41,696 --> 00:04:44,903
You are henceforth,
"Reversadusa."
125
00:04:44,903 --> 00:04:47,407
[hissing]
126
00:04:47,407 --> 00:04:50,180
- Easy, girl, easy.
- What's a "Reversadusa"?
127
00:04:50,180 --> 00:04:51,583
I think
it's self-explanatory.
128
00:04:51,583 --> 00:04:54,087
Turn the statue to look at her.
Hey. Hey. Here.
129
00:04:54,087 --> 00:04:56,626
Psst.
Over here, here, honey.
130
00:04:59,700 --> 00:05:02,505
Ah, hmm.
Should have seen that coming.
131
00:05:02,505 --> 00:05:05,310
- Did it work?
- I have a process.
132
00:05:05,310 --> 00:05:09,485
Hello, VolCon!
I'm Chris Hardwick.
133
00:05:09,485 --> 00:05:12,257
I'm moderating this panel
and, due to a curse,
134
00:05:12,257 --> 00:05:13,727
all panels
until the end of time.
135
00:05:13,727 --> 00:05:16,065
But hey, you didn't sleep
outside on the gravel
136
00:05:16,065 --> 00:05:18,202
for a month to hear my story.
137
00:05:18,202 --> 00:05:21,275
You waited to see
the God of Making Stuff,
138
00:05:21,275 --> 00:05:25,016
the Father of Forges,
the Master of Metal,
139
00:05:25,016 --> 00:05:27,154
Hephaestus!
140
00:05:27,154 --> 00:05:30,126
[triumphant orchestral music]
141
00:05:30,126 --> 00:05:33,433
♪ ♪
142
00:05:33,433 --> 00:05:35,070
Huh? Huh?
Pretty cool.
143
00:05:35,070 --> 00:05:36,172
Whatever.
144
00:05:36,272 --> 00:05:37,742
Let them hear you, guys.
145
00:05:37,742 --> 00:05:42,552
Oh, Hephaestus,
where is your hammer?
146
00:05:42,552 --> 00:05:45,123
Oh, no, everyone,
Hephaestus doesn't seem
147
00:05:45,123 --> 00:05:46,693
to have his--
oh, wait a minute.
148
00:05:46,693 --> 00:05:51,469
What is happening right now?
Oh, my gods!
149
00:05:51,469 --> 00:05:54,843
[cheers and applause]
150
00:05:54,943 --> 00:05:56,378
Come on!
151
00:05:56,378 --> 00:05:59,318
[laughs]
Wow!
152
00:05:59,318 --> 00:06:02,291
That is why you come
to VolCon, folks.
153
00:06:02,291 --> 00:06:03,628
It ain't for the eggs.
154
00:06:03,628 --> 00:06:05,932
Hephaestus, what are you
working on these days?
155
00:06:05,932 --> 00:06:09,305
I'm making a new hat
for Hermes with smaller wings.
156
00:06:09,405 --> 00:06:10,407
- Pfft.
- Don't do that.
157
00:06:10,407 --> 00:06:11,510
Don't tell me what to do.
158
00:06:11,610 --> 00:06:15,618
And I'm working on a chariot
for Apollo, the Sun God.
159
00:06:15,618 --> 00:06:17,589
- What's Apollo like?
- Hot, Chris.
160
00:06:17,589 --> 00:06:19,458
- [laughs]
- Pfft.
161
00:06:19,458 --> 00:06:22,732
I'm sorry, someone keeps
making a very critical,
162
00:06:22,732 --> 00:06:25,605
unimpressed, pfft sound.
- It's a tech convention.
163
00:06:25,605 --> 00:06:27,474
You know, half the audience
just breathes weird.
164
00:06:27,474 --> 00:06:28,677
I think
it was that guy there,
165
00:06:28,677 --> 00:06:31,281
the guy with the glass helmet.
- It's okay.
166
00:06:31,281 --> 00:06:33,153
He's my brother,
and he's non-verbal.
167
00:06:33,153 --> 00:06:34,321
That's not true.
168
00:06:34,321 --> 00:06:35,824
More of a half-brother, really.
169
00:06:35,824 --> 00:06:38,664
Why are you using your talent
to make toys and trinkets
170
00:06:38,664 --> 00:06:40,366
for a bunch
of royal normies
171
00:06:40,366 --> 00:06:41,803
that are never
gonna respect you?
172
00:06:41,803 --> 00:06:43,640
I've never met
this man in my life.
173
00:06:43,640 --> 00:06:45,878
Oh, you're expert on respect,
are you?
174
00:06:45,878 --> 00:06:48,551
Should I respect you more
than all these other fans
175
00:06:48,551 --> 00:06:50,420
because, why,
because you're more jaded?
176
00:06:50,420 --> 00:06:51,556
Less polite?
177
00:06:51,556 --> 00:06:55,898
Because I picked the lock
you made for Prometheus.
178
00:06:55,898 --> 00:06:57,802
[audience gasps]
179
00:06:59,572 --> 00:07:02,846
- What the--?
- How'd you make this?
180
00:07:02,846 --> 00:07:05,417
- It's complicated.
- What's your name?
181
00:07:05,417 --> 00:07:08,824
- Hippocampus.
- That is a stupid name.
182
00:07:08,924 --> 00:07:12,832
But guys like us have
to work with what we're given.
183
00:07:12,832 --> 00:07:16,472
This is my new friend,
Hippocampus the Great.
184
00:07:16,472 --> 00:07:17,508
[cheers and applause]
185
00:07:17,508 --> 00:07:19,679
That's my brother.
186
00:07:23,252 --> 00:07:24,288
- Oh, my goodness.
- Yeah.
187
00:07:24,288 --> 00:07:26,425
Hey, I'll see you guys there.
188
00:07:26,425 --> 00:07:29,565
I'm going on a tour
of Hephaestus' volcano.
189
00:07:29,565 --> 00:07:31,970
Is that
a plus-one situation?
190
00:07:31,970 --> 00:07:33,573
I could ask.
191
00:07:33,573 --> 00:07:36,012
I just don't want to seem
rude or unprofessional though.
192
00:07:36,012 --> 00:07:37,248
Right, not anymore.
193
00:07:37,348 --> 00:07:38,684
I'll just go wait on the boat
194
00:07:38,684 --> 00:07:41,321
and fondly remember
my two chickens.
195
00:07:41,321 --> 00:07:43,527
- You mad?
- No, I'm happy for you.
196
00:07:43,527 --> 00:07:45,496
You did want me
to connect with great thinkers.
197
00:07:45,496 --> 00:07:47,502
Speaking of,
there's this girl--
198
00:07:47,502 --> 00:07:48,537
she wants to have lunch.
199
00:07:48,537 --> 00:07:50,675
She has an idea called paper.
200
00:07:50,675 --> 00:07:53,747
It's like foldable clay.
- I'd love to meet her.
201
00:07:53,847 --> 00:07:56,018
Oh, well,
it's a creative thing.
202
00:07:56,018 --> 00:08:00,260
- Yeah, like the volcano tour.
- Priceless opportunities.
203
00:08:00,260 --> 00:08:01,563
I'll meet you at the boat.
204
00:08:01,563 --> 00:08:03,767
I'll be there, probably.
205
00:08:03,767 --> 00:08:08,309
Paper sounds stupid.
I hope the volcano erupts.
206
00:08:08,309 --> 00:08:11,115
Oh--ooh.
- Do not look at my balls.
207
00:08:11,115 --> 00:08:12,652
Sorry. Sorry.
208
00:08:12,652 --> 00:08:14,890
No, wait. Wait.
Please, please!
209
00:08:14,890 --> 00:08:17,394
Shlub, you're the only one
she's gonna listen to.
210
00:08:17,394 --> 00:08:19,666
- Yes, because she trusts me.
- Yes.
211
00:08:19,666 --> 00:08:22,638
So tell her to let this go
so I can take Felix to Athena.
212
00:08:22,638 --> 00:08:24,576
Then she'll stop trusting me.
213
00:08:24,576 --> 00:08:26,145
I don't think
you know what trust is.
214
00:08:26,145 --> 00:08:28,750
Well, in strict terms,
it's a belief in reliability,
215
00:08:28,750 --> 00:08:30,821
as one might trust
a wall to hold a ceiling.
216
00:08:30,921 --> 00:08:32,892
Interpersonally,
it's knowing another
217
00:08:32,892 --> 00:08:34,763
has your best interests
at heart.
218
00:08:34,763 --> 00:08:37,502
Okay, maybe you do know
what it is.
219
00:08:37,502 --> 00:08:39,673
But I also think
you're just scared to say stuff
220
00:08:39,773 --> 00:08:41,810
she doesn't want to hear.
- A fine distinction.
221
00:08:41,810 --> 00:08:43,914
Let's discuss it
over a drink while your mother
222
00:08:43,914 --> 00:08:46,486
does whatever she wants
and trusts me to support it.
223
00:08:46,486 --> 00:08:48,658
- Or--
- Or what?
224
00:08:48,658 --> 00:08:51,730
Just sit still, please!
225
00:08:51,730 --> 00:08:53,901
[screams]
Help us.
226
00:08:53,901 --> 00:08:57,006
What?
You can't sculpt without clay.
227
00:08:58,677 --> 00:09:00,046
Oh, I thought
I had at that time.
228
00:09:00,046 --> 00:09:02,317
Don't worry.
It's all part of the process.
229
00:09:02,317 --> 00:09:04,288
Trust the process.
230
00:09:04,288 --> 00:09:05,858
Such a cool workshop.
231
00:09:05,858 --> 00:09:08,429
It actually
used to be a volcano.
232
00:09:08,429 --> 00:09:09,799
Hard to believe.
233
00:09:09,799 --> 00:09:11,636
Aren't you gonna ask
how I picked your lock?
234
00:09:11,636 --> 00:09:13,273
You turned
the third cylinder.
235
00:09:13,273 --> 00:09:14,509
I designed it that way.
236
00:09:14,509 --> 00:09:16,312
Who designs
a lock to be picked?
237
00:09:16,312 --> 00:09:19,117
Come here.
238
00:09:21,690 --> 00:09:25,731
You know, I was also born
with certain challenges.
239
00:09:25,731 --> 00:09:30,307
No offense, Heph,
I can't breathe or walk.
240
00:09:30,307 --> 00:09:32,712
But I will allow
the comparison.
241
00:09:32,712 --> 00:09:35,283
When I was born,
my parents threw me away.
242
00:09:35,283 --> 00:09:36,753
I don't mean that figuratively.
243
00:09:36,753 --> 00:09:38,757
My dad could throw, you know?
244
00:09:38,757 --> 00:09:40,460
He threw lightning
for a living.
245
00:09:40,460 --> 00:09:41,763
I went...
[whistling]
246
00:09:41,763 --> 00:09:43,701
Far.
- That sucks.
247
00:09:43,701 --> 00:09:45,470
Glad it happened.
Made me what I am.
248
00:09:45,470 --> 00:09:47,575
You know who my wife is?
- Aphrodite.
249
00:09:47,575 --> 00:09:48,977
And what's that say
about the gods?
250
00:09:48,977 --> 00:09:51,716
- They're tolerant of incest?
- You know what family is?
251
00:09:51,716 --> 00:09:53,688
I figured this out.
It's a disease.
252
00:09:53,688 --> 00:09:55,156
You're born with it.
253
00:09:55,156 --> 00:09:57,494
You have no say in the one
you get, and you don't need it,
254
00:09:57,494 --> 00:09:59,498
but, boy, does it need you.
255
00:09:59,498 --> 00:10:00,901
I designed that lock
to be picked
256
00:10:00,901 --> 00:10:03,674
because my father
is an insane bully,
257
00:10:03,674 --> 00:10:05,878
just like Prometheus,
just like Heracles,
258
00:10:05,878 --> 00:10:08,449
who everyone thinks
freed Prometheus
259
00:10:08,449 --> 00:10:10,654
because handsome,
stupid asses
260
00:10:10,654 --> 00:10:12,024
think they run the world.
261
00:10:12,024 --> 00:10:16,600
And that's how ugly,
smart people like it.
262
00:10:16,600 --> 00:10:20,473
Is it possible
for the brain to get a boner?
263
00:10:20,473 --> 00:10:22,778
[upbeat music]
264
00:10:22,778 --> 00:10:24,749
Got anything warm
and comforting?
265
00:10:24,749 --> 00:10:26,754
My mother-in-law
is lactating.
266
00:10:26,754 --> 00:10:28,022
I'll have a beer.
267
00:10:28,123 --> 00:10:30,393
Hey, want to hear
a derogatory joke
268
00:10:30,393 --> 00:10:31,462
about inventors?
269
00:10:31,462 --> 00:10:32,899
I assume you're also a king
270
00:10:32,899 --> 00:10:35,403
that paid to bring
his science dork here
271
00:10:35,403 --> 00:10:36,573
and got ditched?
272
00:10:36,573 --> 00:10:38,109
I'm Minos from Crete.
273
00:10:38,109 --> 00:10:41,415
Tyrannis, Krapopolis.
What's the joke?
274
00:10:41,415 --> 00:10:43,352
What do you get
what an inventor
275
00:10:43,352 --> 00:10:45,156
crosses your wife with a bull?
276
00:10:45,156 --> 00:10:49,732
A flesh-eating monstrosity that
has to be kept in a labyrinth.
277
00:10:49,732 --> 00:10:52,371
I guess you had to be there.
- Ah!
278
00:10:52,371 --> 00:10:53,974
Ugh, what is this?
279
00:10:53,974 --> 00:10:56,045
Oh, you ordered the beer.
So sorry.
280
00:10:56,045 --> 00:10:57,781
Well, don't give me
that one now.
281
00:10:57,781 --> 00:10:59,852
New one's gonna take a while.
282
00:10:59,852 --> 00:11:03,627
Then I'll have a free beer
while I wait.
283
00:11:03,627 --> 00:11:08,670
Non-kings.
- Oh, non-kings.
284
00:11:08,670 --> 00:11:10,775
How long are you gonna
let this go on for?
285
00:11:10,775 --> 00:11:12,645
I don't see
any downside to letting
286
00:11:12,645 --> 00:11:13,914
your mother keep trying.
[villagers screaming]
287
00:11:13,914 --> 00:11:16,485
I think they might see
a downside.
288
00:11:16,485 --> 00:11:20,159
Damn it!
Double damn it!
289
00:11:20,159 --> 00:11:21,429
[knocking]
290
00:11:21,429 --> 00:11:23,099
What do you want?
291
00:11:23,099 --> 00:11:25,170
I've got to work this out
before the shipment
292
00:11:25,170 --> 00:11:28,042
of new servants
gets here from Thebes.
293
00:11:28,042 --> 00:11:29,846
I think it might be time
for you to admit
294
00:11:29,846 --> 00:11:33,186
you don't know how to reverse
a Medusa stoning
295
00:11:33,186 --> 00:11:34,421
and give up.
296
00:11:34,421 --> 00:11:35,925
Hubris!
297
00:11:35,925 --> 00:11:37,862
[gasps]
What have I done?
298
00:11:37,862 --> 00:11:40,033
Don't blame yourself.
This is mostly my fault.
299
00:11:40,033 --> 00:11:42,137
I saw you struggling,
and I let you go on
300
00:11:42,137 --> 00:11:44,108
because I didn't want
to hurt your feelings.
301
00:11:44,108 --> 00:11:46,813
No, I've been so consumed
with proving
302
00:11:46,813 --> 00:11:49,553
I could undo
Athena's hacky monster nonsense
303
00:11:49,553 --> 00:11:51,723
that I overreacted a bit.
304
00:11:51,723 --> 00:11:53,927
At least I know Stupendous
won't eat me.
305
00:11:53,927 --> 00:11:58,202
That girl's never touched
a vegetable in her entire life.
306
00:12:03,714 --> 00:12:05,450
Where have you been?
307
00:12:05,450 --> 00:12:06,986
Are you hungover?
308
00:12:06,986 --> 00:12:08,724
It's called
still being drunk.
309
00:12:08,824 --> 00:12:10,026
There's a difference.
310
00:12:10,026 --> 00:12:11,930
Hephaestus offered me a job.
311
00:12:11,930 --> 00:12:14,434
- So why are you even here?
- What's that mean?
312
00:12:14,434 --> 00:12:15,571
I want to talk to you about it.
313
00:12:15,671 --> 00:12:17,073
You mean gloat about it.
314
00:12:17,073 --> 00:12:20,882
You want me to beg you
to do me the favor of breeding
315
00:12:20,882 --> 00:12:22,083
my wife with a bull?
316
00:12:22,083 --> 00:12:24,254
When did you get either
of those things?
317
00:12:24,254 --> 00:12:25,625
It's a metaphor.
318
00:12:25,625 --> 00:12:27,461
You're the one
that called me useless!
319
00:12:27,461 --> 00:12:28,430
Is that what I said?
320
00:12:28,564 --> 00:12:30,935
You're so creative
about remembering what I say,
321
00:12:30,935 --> 00:12:33,840
do you remember me asking you
to invent written language?
322
00:12:33,840 --> 00:12:35,911
It's a bad idea.
323
00:12:35,911 --> 00:12:37,314
I'll have to take
your word for it.
324
00:12:37,314 --> 00:12:40,086
I guess everything I ask for
is beneath your genius,
325
00:12:40,086 --> 00:12:42,124
so it's no loss
to me if you quit.
326
00:12:42,124 --> 00:12:44,762
Now there's an idea
I can get behind.
327
00:12:44,762 --> 00:12:46,264
Wow.
I did it, everybody.
328
00:12:46,264 --> 00:12:49,839
I finally got smart enough
to know it's all about him.
329
00:12:49,839 --> 00:12:51,008
- Hate you!
- Hate you!
330
00:12:51,008 --> 00:12:52,477
- Nerd fight.
- Nerd fight.
331
00:12:52,477 --> 00:12:53,780
Nerd fight.
332
00:12:53,780 --> 00:12:55,817
- Nerd fight.
- Guys, stop nerd fighting.
333
00:12:55,817 --> 00:12:57,788
- I'm a king.
- Okay, well--
334
00:12:57,788 --> 00:12:58,957
I know I'm nerdy for a king.
335
00:12:58,957 --> 00:13:00,192
That doesn't make it
a nerd fight.
336
00:13:00,192 --> 00:13:03,098
- What's this all about?
- Just saying goodbye.
337
00:13:03,098 --> 00:13:05,470
- What about all your stuff?
- Give it away.
338
00:13:05,470 --> 00:13:09,144
Even your fully articulated,
life-size wooden lady?
339
00:13:09,144 --> 00:13:10,413
I don't know
what you're describing,
340
00:13:10,413 --> 00:13:12,751
but it sounds way less shameful
than snooping.
341
00:13:12,751 --> 00:13:14,054
Goodbye, Tyrannis.
342
00:13:14,154 --> 00:13:15,758
Oh, I'm not leaving just yet.
343
00:13:15,758 --> 00:13:17,995
I'm on an island
full of your replacements.
344
00:13:18,095 --> 00:13:19,932
Is everything--
Steven?
345
00:13:19,932 --> 00:13:22,805
Ned, I heard
about your Ned system.
346
00:13:22,805 --> 00:13:26,445
Sounds familiar.
- Easy, Steven.
347
00:13:26,445 --> 00:13:28,449
[both grunting]
348
00:13:28,449 --> 00:13:30,286
Nerd fight?
349
00:13:34,361 --> 00:13:37,233
- Hey, there's my superstar.
- Can't wait to start.
350
00:13:37,233 --> 00:13:39,572
I know you're not a rule guy,
and you're in luck.
351
00:13:39,672 --> 00:13:40,842
There are none.
352
00:13:40,842 --> 00:13:42,044
[laughs]
Yeah!
353
00:13:42,044 --> 00:13:44,749
- Here's your workstation.
- Got it. What do I do first?
354
00:13:44,749 --> 00:13:46,820
First, you never
ask that again.
355
00:13:46,820 --> 00:13:48,255
- Sorry.
- I really mean it, Hippo.
356
00:13:48,355 --> 00:13:50,894
Your job here
is simply to create,
357
00:13:50,894 --> 00:13:53,066
preferably three or four things
before sundown.
358
00:13:53,066 --> 00:13:54,602
And if anything
you come up with
359
00:13:54,602 --> 00:13:58,275
becomes a Hephaestus original,
well, there's upward movement.
360
00:13:58,275 --> 00:14:02,518
So my job is to create
Hephaestus originals?
361
00:14:02,518 --> 00:14:06,124
Okay, don't flatter yourself.
I'm not exploiting you.
362
00:14:06,124 --> 00:14:09,131
By the time I'm done
making your stuff work,
363
00:14:09,131 --> 00:14:11,168
you'll be the one getting
the undeserved credit,
364
00:14:11,168 --> 00:14:13,038
which trust me,
you will take
365
00:14:13,038 --> 00:14:15,043
when you leave me
for a better job.
366
00:14:15,043 --> 00:14:18,115
- Oh, I'm not gonna leave.
- Oh, yes, you will.
367
00:14:18,115 --> 00:14:21,055
You didn't get here by being
loyal to your stupid brother,
368
00:14:21,055 --> 00:14:22,858
did you?
It's okay.
369
00:14:22,858 --> 00:14:25,931
I expect you to leave.
I'm not stupid.
370
00:14:25,931 --> 00:14:30,206
I'm arguably the god
of the opposite of stupid.
371
00:14:30,306 --> 00:14:32,645
And I'd rather work
with genuine talent
372
00:14:32,645 --> 00:14:35,283
than phony sycophants!
373
00:14:35,283 --> 00:14:37,955
- Maybe I can be both.
- I welcome the attempt.
374
00:14:37,955 --> 00:14:39,758
People do earn my trust--
375
00:14:39,758 --> 00:14:41,462
to an extent.
376
00:14:41,462 --> 00:14:44,936
Aphrodite married me because
I have the only heart
377
00:14:45,036 --> 00:14:47,107
even she can't find.
378
00:14:47,107 --> 00:14:49,444
That's pretty dark, boss.
379
00:14:49,444 --> 00:14:50,747
[laughs]
380
00:14:50,747 --> 00:14:52,083
We're pieces of work,
aren't we?
381
00:14:52,083 --> 00:14:55,089
Don't get back to work.
382
00:14:55,089 --> 00:14:57,694
[sighs]
Living the dream.
383
00:14:57,694 --> 00:15:00,967
So you'd call yourself
a collaborative inventor?
384
00:15:00,967 --> 00:15:03,305
Yes, I believe
it's more important
385
00:15:03,305 --> 00:15:06,278
to collaborate than innovate.
- Ah, so refreshing.
386
00:15:06,278 --> 00:15:09,017
I'm interested in my city
developing written language.
387
00:15:09,017 --> 00:15:10,921
- Nope, not a thing.
- Not a thing?
388
00:15:10,921 --> 00:15:14,127
Human speak words
and they draw pictures.
389
00:15:14,127 --> 00:15:17,133
Nobody can draw
pictures of words.
390
00:15:17,233 --> 00:15:21,074
That's nonsense.
- And is this us collaborating?
391
00:15:21,174 --> 00:15:23,112
Well,
there's collaborating,
392
00:15:23,112 --> 00:15:25,283
and there's indulging
childish fantasy.
393
00:15:25,283 --> 00:15:28,122
You see some futuristic world
where people are writing
394
00:15:28,122 --> 00:15:31,028
everything down and,
what was the other thing?
395
00:15:31,028 --> 00:15:33,466
Pooping into tubes
that transport feces
396
00:15:33,466 --> 00:15:36,204
to a new location
after leaving the butt?
397
00:15:36,204 --> 00:15:38,108
Well, you're making
it sound like--
398
00:15:38,108 --> 00:15:39,979
Who even spends time
thinking about this?
399
00:15:39,979 --> 00:15:41,448
Preferably someone
in your position.
400
00:15:41,448 --> 00:15:46,124
Then I'm afraid
this interview is over.
401
00:15:46,124 --> 00:15:48,228
You'll be back
to your stunning self
402
00:15:48,228 --> 00:15:50,133
in no time, darling,
but if you can,
403
00:15:50,133 --> 00:15:52,003
do try not to snack on you.
404
00:15:52,003 --> 00:15:54,107
As long as no one
invents ranch dressing
405
00:15:54,107 --> 00:15:56,311
in the near future,
I should be all right.
406
00:15:56,311 --> 00:15:58,817
I'm glad you guys
are having personal growth,
407
00:15:58,817 --> 00:16:00,452
but Felix has kids.
408
00:16:00,452 --> 00:16:03,392
And that is why you should
take him to Athena's temple,
409
00:16:03,392 --> 00:16:06,232
which I now allow because
I am capable of everything,
410
00:16:06,232 --> 00:16:08,703
including change.
- Okay.
411
00:16:08,703 --> 00:16:09,906
And you'll give me a ride there
412
00:16:10,006 --> 00:16:11,576
since I could have walked
by now.
413
00:16:11,576 --> 00:16:12,310
I was just vulnerable.
414
00:16:12,477 --> 00:16:14,014
You don't get two things.
Piss off.
415
00:16:14,014 --> 00:16:15,383
That's on-brand.
416
00:16:15,383 --> 00:16:17,253
Would you at least keep
an eye on Felix while I pack?
417
00:16:17,253 --> 00:16:19,926
- Fine.
- You're an amazing mother.
418
00:16:19,926 --> 00:16:22,196
And you're still sexy,
even as part carrot.
419
00:16:22,196 --> 00:16:25,136
Oh, you naughty deity.
Oh, yes.
420
00:16:25,136 --> 00:16:27,040
Now you're talking.
421
00:16:27,040 --> 00:16:28,943
No, I want him to watch.
422
00:16:28,943 --> 00:16:31,516
Very good.
Oh, yes.
423
00:16:31,616 --> 00:16:32,584
Oh, here we go.
424
00:16:32,584 --> 00:16:34,756
[indistinct chatter]
425
00:16:34,756 --> 00:16:37,194
[sighs]
426
00:16:37,194 --> 00:16:39,164
What's the excitement?
427
00:16:39,264 --> 00:16:41,335
There's a king interviewing
inventors at the dock.
428
00:16:41,335 --> 00:16:45,042
Whoever gets the job gets
an entire lab in his palace--
429
00:16:45,142 --> 00:16:47,280
with underground lair.
430
00:16:47,280 --> 00:16:49,418
That's my--
definition of a nightmare,
431
00:16:49,418 --> 00:16:51,087
probably in the middle
of nowhere.
432
00:16:51,087 --> 00:16:53,158
Good.
Small pond, big fish.
433
00:16:53,158 --> 00:16:55,797
Sorry, is that offensive
to you?
434
00:16:55,797 --> 00:16:57,100
I'll get over it.
435
00:16:57,100 --> 00:16:58,469
I hear this king
is interested
436
00:16:58,469 --> 00:17:01,509
in some pretty out-there stuff:
a sewage system,
437
00:17:01,509 --> 00:17:03,079
written language.
438
00:17:03,079 --> 00:17:04,982
See, now that's offensive.
439
00:17:04,982 --> 00:17:06,620
I mean, is he a king
or a creative?
440
00:17:06,620 --> 00:17:09,091
Hephaestus doesn't even care
what we invent.
441
00:17:09,091 --> 00:17:10,293
You got that right.
442
00:17:10,293 --> 00:17:11,829
This king
you're talking about,
443
00:17:11,829 --> 00:17:13,065
he'll be all up in your stuff.
444
00:17:13,065 --> 00:17:15,102
How's it going?
What are you working on?
445
00:17:15,102 --> 00:17:16,371
I have thoughts.
446
00:17:16,371 --> 00:17:18,142
He's going to think
he owns you.
447
00:17:18,142 --> 00:17:21,181
Free lab, room and board.
Um, own me, daddy.
448
00:17:21,181 --> 00:17:24,054
Seriously, but please,
don't apply for the job.
449
00:17:24,054 --> 00:17:25,489
You'd just get it.
450
00:17:25,489 --> 00:17:28,062
Yeah, it's always the people
that don't give a crap.
451
00:17:28,062 --> 00:17:31,101
[pensive music]
452
00:17:31,101 --> 00:17:36,813
♪ ♪
453
00:17:36,813 --> 00:17:39,819
You can put your inventions
down wherever there's space.
454
00:17:39,819 --> 00:17:41,121
Thanks.
What you working on?
455
00:17:41,121 --> 00:17:43,660
- A hat for Hermes.
- Third one?
456
00:17:43,660 --> 00:17:44,528
He had thoughts.
457
00:17:44,628 --> 00:17:47,333
Hermes had thoughts
about his hat,
458
00:17:47,333 --> 00:17:49,103
and here,
you're surrounded by--
459
00:17:49,103 --> 00:17:50,841
what's this?
- I don't know.
460
00:17:50,841 --> 00:17:52,277
It's called a computer.
461
00:17:52,277 --> 00:17:54,180
It's a machine
that calculates--
462
00:17:54,180 --> 00:17:56,451
why do you feel comfortable
interrupting me like this?
463
00:17:56,451 --> 00:17:58,388
Are you unfamiliar
with being fired?
464
00:17:58,388 --> 00:17:59,759
I guess I've only ever quit.
465
00:17:59,759 --> 00:18:02,531
A machine that calculates?
- Oh, does that impress you?
466
00:18:02,531 --> 00:18:05,804
It might be a little more
important than a third draft
467
00:18:05,804 --> 00:18:07,273
of Hermes's hat.
468
00:18:07,273 --> 00:18:08,944
Well, can I show you
something even better?
469
00:18:08,944 --> 00:18:10,714
Yeah!
470
00:18:10,714 --> 00:18:12,216
Dude?
471
00:18:12,216 --> 00:18:13,753
Dude!
Wait.
472
00:18:13,753 --> 00:18:14,855
It gets better.
473
00:18:14,855 --> 00:18:16,058
Look at this.
474
00:18:16,058 --> 00:18:17,728
What do you think, dude?
475
00:18:17,728 --> 00:18:19,263
You like that, dude?
476
00:18:19,263 --> 00:18:20,499
Why?
Why?
477
00:18:20,499 --> 00:18:23,372
Because it's not
what you wanted.
478
00:18:23,372 --> 00:18:27,314
So now you understand,
you don't control me.
479
00:18:27,314 --> 00:18:29,551
- But Hermes does?
- No!
480
00:18:29,551 --> 00:18:34,293
You insipid little fish man,
I control everything.
481
00:18:34,293 --> 00:18:38,569
I choose my jobs.
I choose my goals.
482
00:18:38,569 --> 00:18:42,143
I have already finished proving
I am better than everyone
483
00:18:42,143 --> 00:18:44,916
and that I don't need anyone.
484
00:18:44,916 --> 00:18:46,586
I guess
you haven't proven that?
485
00:18:46,586 --> 00:18:49,691
I have!
It's a thing you can prove.
486
00:18:49,691 --> 00:18:53,566
And do you know what I now
have decided to make happen?
487
00:18:53,566 --> 00:18:57,240
- You want them to like you.
- There you go, buddy!
488
00:18:57,240 --> 00:18:59,144
There you go.
489
00:18:59,144 --> 00:19:01,381
Is that okay with you?
490
00:19:02,316 --> 00:19:05,089
Remember when
your brother tried
491
00:19:05,089 --> 00:19:07,227
to protect you at the panel?
492
00:19:07,227 --> 00:19:12,938
Nobody in my family, nobody,
has done that for me.
493
00:19:15,042 --> 00:19:17,514
Ty, wait!
494
00:19:17,514 --> 00:19:21,288
Ty!
- Hold on one moment.
495
00:19:21,288 --> 00:19:23,058
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
496
00:19:23,058 --> 00:19:26,431
- Hippo!
- Ty!
497
00:19:26,431 --> 00:19:29,137
I'm sorry.
- I am too.
498
00:19:29,137 --> 00:19:30,607
What happened?
499
00:19:30,607 --> 00:19:32,443
Well, I was definitely
right to change jobs
500
00:19:32,443 --> 00:19:34,381
because I'm right
about everything,
501
00:19:34,381 --> 00:19:36,285
which is why I had to leave.
502
00:19:36,285 --> 00:19:38,221
They found me
mentally intimidating
503
00:19:38,221 --> 00:19:40,861
and distracting sexually.
504
00:19:40,861 --> 00:19:43,298
That's truly unbelievable.
505
00:19:43,298 --> 00:19:45,671
But I'm glad it happened
because you're irreplaceable.
506
00:19:45,771 --> 00:19:48,810
I would have invented
your brains out.
507
00:19:48,910 --> 00:19:49,912
Lab wrecker.
508
00:19:51,348 --> 00:19:53,720
- Who was that?
- I didn't see anybody.
509
00:19:53,720 --> 00:19:56,993
Hephaestus thanks you
for attending VolCon.
510
00:19:56,993 --> 00:19:58,997
I am not an automaton.
511
00:19:58,997 --> 00:20:01,068
I am a living, suffering giant.
512
00:20:01,068 --> 00:20:02,571
Have a safe journey home.
513
00:20:02,571 --> 00:20:05,376
My joints are limited
to predefined movements
514
00:20:05,376 --> 00:20:08,215
carried out by
a complex system of gears.
515
00:20:08,315 --> 00:20:10,988
We look forward
to seeing you next year.
516
00:20:10,988 --> 00:20:12,825
Enjoy your lives.
517
00:20:12,825 --> 00:20:14,027
They could be worse.
518
00:20:14,027 --> 00:20:15,395
I have a family.
519
00:20:15,395 --> 00:20:17,768
I'm a foodie.
I love to travel.
520
00:20:17,768 --> 00:20:22,611
Tell my story, but also,
tell the world about VolCon.
521
00:20:22,611 --> 00:20:26,185
I have had an itch
on my back for over a year.
522
00:20:26,185 --> 00:20:28,288
Someone, please scratch it.
523
00:20:28,288 --> 00:20:30,560
And please,
come back to VolCon.
524
00:20:30,560 --> 00:20:33,432
Before this,
I was a giant doctor.
525
00:20:33,432 --> 00:20:35,402
I saved people's lives,
526
00:20:35,402 --> 00:20:37,373
the way
you should save the date
527
00:20:37,373 --> 00:20:39,711
for next year's VolCon.
528
00:20:54,508 --> 00:20:57,514
Ah.
529
00:21:00,955 --> 00:21:03,893
[indistinct chatter]
530
00:21:07,366 --> 00:21:12,109
[sighs]
Hello, Print-Con!
531
00:21:12,109 --> 00:21:13,446
I'm Chris Hardwick.
532
00:21:13,446 --> 00:21:16,184
I'm moderating this panel
and, due to a curse,
533
00:21:16,184 --> 00:21:18,255
all panels
until the end of time.
534
00:21:18,255 --> 00:21:21,060
But you didn't sleep
on a pile of plague rats
535
00:21:21,060 --> 00:21:22,798
for a month to hear about me.
536
00:21:22,798 --> 00:21:25,470
You're here
for the Prince of the Press,
537
00:21:25,470 --> 00:21:30,814
the Mage of the Page,
Johann Gutenberg!
538
00:21:31,047 --> 00:21:32,416
Did you get any of that?
539
00:21:34,956 --> 00:21:36,491
Bento.
39375
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