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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00.041 --> 00:00:00.041 25.000 2 00:03:17.697 --> 00:03:20.700 They stand there, barking. 26 dogs. 3 00:03:21.201 --> 00:03:25.080 I see their mean faces. They've come to kill. 4 00:03:25.622 --> 00:03:28.375 And they tell my boss Bertold: 5 00:03:28.833 --> 00:03:34.089 "Give us Boaz Rein, or we'll eat your customers. In 1 minute! " 6 00:03:34.506 --> 00:03:36.549 26 dogs? - Exactly. 7 00:03:36.966 --> 00:03:41.638 How do you know there are 26 and not 30? 8 00:03:41.805 --> 00:03:43.473 I'm coming to that. 9 00:03:49.020 --> 00:03:50.730 Well? - Well what? 10 00:03:51.147 --> 00:03:55.860 Do you check it out? - What do you think happens? 11 00:03:57.404 --> 00:04:00.824 I wake up! - At that point every time? 12 00:04:01.199 --> 00:04:03.410 Exactly. It always stops there. 13 00:04:03.827 --> 00:04:06.454 Since when? - Two and a half years. 14 00:04:06.913 --> 00:04:09.582 And you call me now, at this hour? - Asshole! 15 00:04:10.083 --> 00:04:12.752 Don't call me an asshole. 16 00:04:14.921 --> 00:04:17.257 This dream is coming from somewhere. 17 00:04:17.757 --> 00:04:22.595 I haven't told you everything. - Like what? 18 00:04:23.054 --> 00:04:24.472 You know, in Lebanon... 19 00:04:24.931 --> 00:04:26.391 What about Lebanon? 20 00:04:26.808 --> 00:04:30.228 At the start of the war, we went into Lebanese villages 21 00:04:30.645 --> 00:04:34.274 to search for wanted Palestinians. 22 00:04:35.442 --> 00:04:36.651 Yeah, and? 23 00:04:53.001 --> 00:04:59.090 When someone enters a village, the dogs smell and bark to alert. 24 00:04:59.841 --> 00:05:05.430 Everyone wakes up, and the fugitives take off. 25 00:05:06.348 --> 00:05:11.227 Someone had to liquidate them. Otherwise our men would have died. 26 00:05:11.686 --> 00:05:13.605 But why you? 27 00:05:14.064 --> 00:05:17.984 They knew I couldn't shoot a person. They told me: 28 00:05:18.401 --> 00:05:21.988 "Go ahead and shoot the dogs! " 29 00:05:39.589 --> 00:05:43.385 26 dogs, I remember every single one. 30 00:05:43.802 --> 00:05:49.808 Every face, every wound, the look in their eyes... 26 dogs. 31 00:05:50.266 --> 00:05:53.353 How long before they started appearing in your dreams? 32 00:05:53.770 --> 00:05:54.938 20 years. 33 00:05:55.563 --> 00:05:58.733 Have you tried anything? - Like what? 34 00:05:59.150 --> 00:06:03.113 Therapy, a psychiatrist, Shiatsu, anything... 35 00:06:03.571 --> 00:06:06.074 No, nothing. I called you. 36 00:06:06.574 --> 00:06:08.159 I'm just a filmmaker! 37 00:06:08.618 --> 00:06:10.704 Can't films be therapeutic? 38 00:06:11.246 --> 00:06:14.582 You've dealt with all the issues in your films, right? 39 00:06:15.166 --> 00:06:17.585 But nothing like this. 40 00:06:18.044 --> 00:06:19.921 No flashbacks from Lebanon? 41 00:06:21.381 --> 00:06:24.676 No. Not really. 42 00:06:25.135 --> 00:06:26.177 Are you sure? 43 00:06:28.680 --> 00:06:29.931 No. 44 00:06:30.390 --> 00:06:32.100 Beirut, Sabra and Shatila? - What about that? 45 00:06:32.517 --> 00:06:35.562 You were only 100 yards away from the massacre! 46 00:06:35.979 --> 00:06:39.733 More like 200 or 300 yards. 47 00:06:40.191 --> 00:06:43.820 The truth is that's not stored in my system. 48 00:06:44.279 --> 00:06:47.741 No flashbacks or dreams? You never think about it? 49 00:06:48.158 --> 00:06:49.993 No, no. 50 00:06:51.077 --> 00:06:52.162 No. 51 00:06:58.168 --> 00:07:00.003 You'll be okay, huh? 52 00:07:00.837 --> 00:07:02.964 You think so? - Sure. 53 00:07:03.381 --> 00:07:06.801 You're sure? - Yes. I'll think of something. 54 00:07:07.469 --> 00:07:09.846 Sure? - Sure. 55 00:07:49.469 --> 00:07:52.889 The meeting with Boaz took place in winter, 2006. 56 00:07:53.348 --> 00:07:57.936 That night, for the first time in 20 years, 57 00:07:58.395 --> 00:08:00.814 I had a flashback of the war in Lebanon. 58 00:08:01.272 --> 00:08:06.069 Not just Lebanon, West Beirut. Not just Beirut, 59 00:08:06.528 --> 00:08:11.157 but the massacre at the Sabra and Shatila refugee camps. 60 00:09:41.748 --> 00:09:44.668 What's wrong? It's 6:30 in the morning! 61 00:09:45.669 --> 00:09:51.174 We all have friends who are lawyers, doctors, therapists... 62 00:09:51.675 --> 00:09:55.178 Sometimes that friendship costs them. 63 00:09:55.679 --> 00:09:59.641 But you wouldn't wake your lawyer friend at 6:30! 64 00:10:00.100 --> 00:10:03.019 My lawyer is 10 times cheaper than you! 65 00:10:03.812 --> 00:10:05.730 I just don't understand. 66 00:10:06.147 --> 00:10:12.696 Why Boaz's dream with the dogs? 67 00:10:14.489 --> 00:10:19.119 Why that to jog my memory? It has nothing to do with me. 68 00:10:19.577 --> 00:10:24.708 Memory is fascinating. Take this psychological experiment... 69 00:10:28.670 --> 00:10:34.676 A group of people were shown 10 various childhood images. 70 00:10:35.635 --> 00:10:39.180 Nine were really from their childhood and one was fake: 71 00:10:39.597 --> 00:10:46.771 Their portrait was pasted into a fairground they never visited. 72 00:10:51.359 --> 00:10:54.529 Eighty percent recognized themselves... 73 00:10:54.946 --> 00:10:58.241 They recognized the fake photo as real! 74 00:10:58.700 --> 00:11:01.661 Twenty percent couldn't remember. 75 00:11:02.078 --> 00:11:04.539 The researchers asked them again. 76 00:11:04.956 --> 00:11:07.584 The second time, the others said that they remembered the image. 77 00:11:10.378 --> 00:11:14.007 "Such a wonderful day at the park with my parents." 78 00:11:14.424 --> 00:11:17.927 They remembered a completely fabricated experience. 79 00:11:19.304 --> 00:11:22.182 Memory is dynamic. It's alive. 80 00:11:22.640 --> 00:11:25.769 If some details are missing, 81 00:11:26.227 --> 00:11:31.358 memory fills the holes with things that never happened. 82 00:11:33.985 --> 00:11:40.450 So my vision of the massacre is like the fake photo? 83 00:11:41.284 --> 00:11:45.789 It never happened? I invented it? It's not real? 84 00:11:46.247 --> 00:11:49.042 I don't know. Who was there with you? 85 00:11:49.501 --> 00:11:53.421 Carmi was there. You know him from school. 86 00:11:54.839 --> 00:11:57.676 And someone else I don't recognize. 87 00:11:59.386 --> 00:12:03.556 So go ask Carmi what he remembers. - He's in Holland. 88 00:12:03.973 --> 00:12:06.351 He's lived there for 20 years. 89 00:12:06.810 --> 00:12:10.563 Go to Holland and ask him if it bothers you. 90 00:12:10.980 --> 00:12:12.023 Isn't that dangerous? 91 00:12:12.482 --> 00:12:16.653 Maybe I'll discover things I don't want to know about myself? 92 00:12:17.070 --> 00:12:18.446 Not at all. 93 00:12:18.905 --> 00:12:23.243 You'll discover important things that you want to know. 94 00:12:23.743 --> 00:12:27.664 We don't go places where we really don't want to. 95 00:12:28.123 --> 00:12:32.627 A human mechanism prevents us from entering dark places. 96 00:12:33.128 --> 00:12:37.257 Memory takes us where we need to go. 97 00:13:14.961 --> 00:13:16.212 See all that? 98 00:13:19.049 --> 00:13:20.633 Yes. 99 00:13:21.009 --> 00:13:22.635 It's all mine. 100 00:13:26.056 --> 00:13:27.265 All of it? 101 00:13:28.141 --> 00:13:30.977 From those trees to the river. 102 00:13:31.394 --> 00:13:33.813 It all belongs to you? - Yes, and the house. 103 00:13:35.065 --> 00:13:37.067 It's about 10 acres. 104 00:13:39.361 --> 00:13:43.198 All that just from selling falafel? - Just from falafel! 105 00:13:43.615 --> 00:13:46.451 Wow! - Come and see. 106 00:13:50.997 --> 00:13:54.292 How much falafel did you sell? - Three years was enough. 107 00:13:55.877 --> 00:13:59.673 In the early '90s I had a small stand in Utrecht. 108 00:14:00.131 --> 00:14:04.344 Health food was in fashion. The Middle East too... 109 00:14:04.552 --> 00:14:07.555 Falafel is both healthy and Middle Eastern. 110 00:14:08.848 --> 00:14:13.019 Everyone thought you'd become a nuclear physicist. 111 00:14:14.062 --> 00:14:15.188 Who did? 112 00:14:15.647 --> 00:14:19.526 I don't know, your family, my family, our school friends. 113 00:14:20.276 --> 00:14:24.948 They thought that by the age of 40 you'd be nominated for a Nobel Prize. 114 00:14:26.032 --> 00:14:27.617 By 20, that future was over. 115 00:14:29.661 --> 00:14:30.954 Cold? 116 00:14:31.037 --> 00:14:35.250 Cold? I'm freezing! - Let's go inside. 117 00:14:36.376 --> 00:14:39.462 We have to walk all that way? 118 00:14:40.505 --> 00:14:43.383 It's funny you've showed up now. 119 00:14:43.758 --> 00:14:45.552 Why? - When you called... 120 00:14:46.761 --> 00:14:51.391 I had just gone out with my son Thomas. He's seven. 121 00:14:51.850 --> 00:14:55.729 He was playing with a toy gun and started asking questions. 122 00:14:56.146 --> 00:14:59.315 "What did you do in the army? Ever shoot anyone? " 123 00:15:00.233 --> 00:15:01.901 Did you? - I don't know. 124 00:15:02.861 --> 00:15:06.072 Let's go inside and warm up. 125 00:15:07.115 --> 00:15:10.618 Would you mind if I sketch you and your son playing in the snow? 126 00:15:11.494 --> 00:15:13.121 No. 127 00:15:13.955 --> 00:15:17.125 Not at all. Draw as much as you like. 128 00:15:17.792 --> 00:15:19.502 I'll fetch him. 129 00:15:19.919 --> 00:15:22.881 It's fine as long as you draw, but don't film. 130 00:16:36.037 --> 00:16:41.167 As strange as it sounds, we were transported to war 131 00:16:41.626 --> 00:16:47.340 on a little "Love Boat" leased by the army or God knows what. 132 00:16:47.966 --> 00:16:52.554 They wanted to mislead the enemy and launch a surprise attack. 133 00:16:53.638 --> 00:16:58.893 What do you mean a "Love Boat"? With jacuzzis and bars? 134 00:16:59.394 --> 00:17:05.233 All of that? - That's how I imagined it. 135 00:17:05.942 --> 00:17:12.449 I later found out it was just an old commando boat. 136 00:17:13.533 --> 00:17:17.620 For 18 you seemed pretty bright to me. I never took you for a fighter. 137 00:17:18.079 --> 00:17:21.875 Frankly, it was important to me for a pretty practical reason. 138 00:17:22.334 --> 00:17:26.379 I felt like everyone else was screwing like rabbits. 139 00:17:26.921 --> 00:17:29.591 and that I was the only... How can I put it? 140 00:17:30.133 --> 00:17:33.928 The only nerd good at chess and Math 141 00:17:34.679 --> 00:17:39.642 but with masculinity problems. So, I had to prove to everyone 142 00:17:40.101 --> 00:17:42.729 that I was the best fighter and some big hero. 143 00:17:43.188 --> 00:17:45.273 Did you succeed? 144 00:17:46.441 --> 00:17:48.485 Yes, surprisingly enough. 145 00:17:49.319 --> 00:17:51.946 I felt that I was strong and capable. 146 00:17:53.406 --> 00:17:59.287 Then the war started and they put us on that damned "Love Boat" 147 00:18:00.663 --> 00:18:03.875 Then I... - You what? 148 00:18:04.334 --> 00:18:09.464 I puked like a pig! I wondered what the enemy would think. 149 00:18:11.049 --> 00:18:14.052 I finally collapsed on deck and fell asleep. 150 00:18:15.136 --> 00:18:17.722 I sleep when I'm scared. 151 00:18:18.973 --> 00:18:22.310 To this day, I escape into sleep and hallucinate. 152 00:19:06.146 --> 00:19:07.981 Unconscious on the deck, 153 00:19:11.443 --> 00:19:17.198 dreaming a woman would come 154 00:19:22.120 --> 00:19:25.290 and take me for the first time, 155 00:19:28.376 --> 00:19:33.340 I saw my best friends go up in flames before my eyes. 156 00:19:33.882 --> 00:19:36.760 Where? - On the boat. 157 00:20:11.294 --> 00:20:15.674 I woke up just before we docked. It's dawn, and we're in a city. 158 00:20:16.132 --> 00:20:18.802 Which city? - How should I know? 159 00:20:19.386 --> 00:20:21.471 Sidon, I think. 160 00:20:22.138 --> 00:20:26.976 Out of pure fear and anxiety we start shooting like lunatics. 161 00:20:30.146 --> 00:20:32.315 At whom? - How do I know? 162 00:20:35.110 --> 00:20:37.487 Then an old Mercedes drives up. 163 00:20:37.946 --> 00:20:40.532 Everyone fires at it like crazy. 164 00:20:44.994 --> 00:20:47.497 Two years of training, and the fear, 165 00:20:47.997 --> 00:20:50.417 the uncontrollable fear... 166 00:20:53.962 --> 00:20:58.550 Then the silence. The terrible silence of death. 167 00:21:00.927 --> 00:21:02.095 At daybreak 168 00:21:03.763 --> 00:21:08.727 we could see our destruction, 169 00:21:11.813 --> 00:21:14.274 without knowing where we were. 170 00:21:14.733 --> 00:21:17.068 Lying in the car... 171 00:21:18.862 --> 00:21:20.780 What was in the car? 172 00:21:21.156 --> 00:21:22.657 The bodies of a whole family. 173 00:21:24.451 --> 00:21:26.119 Why did you come here? 174 00:21:26.703 --> 00:21:28.580 Me? I... 175 00:21:30.081 --> 00:21:31.541 I lost my memory. 176 00:21:32.167 --> 00:21:34.544 In an accident? - What? 177 00:21:35.003 --> 00:21:37.797 Did you have an accident? - What do you mean? 178 00:21:38.673 --> 00:21:41.509 In a car or at work? 179 00:21:42.010 --> 00:21:44.637 No, I didn't have an accident. 180 00:21:45.096 --> 00:21:49.351 I just can't remember anything about the Lebanon War. 181 00:21:49.768 --> 00:21:53.938 Just one image in my mind. 182 00:21:55.774 --> 00:21:58.943 Somehow you're in it. 183 00:21:59.402 --> 00:22:00.862 What image? 184 00:22:39.984 --> 00:22:42.153 Were you there too? 185 00:22:45.407 --> 00:22:45.990 It's hard to say. 186 00:22:46.408 --> 00:22:48.243 What do you mean? Were you there? 187 00:22:48.660 --> 00:22:50.078 It's hard to say. 188 00:22:51.579 --> 00:22:54.165 I don't remember anything about the massacre. 189 00:22:54.874 --> 00:22:58.837 But you were in Beirut when the massacre took place. 190 00:22:59.337 --> 00:23:00.880 Yes, I remember being there. 191 00:23:01.297 --> 00:23:04.342 I'll never forget us marching into Beirut. 192 00:23:04.759 --> 00:23:07.637 But the massacre... How did you say it? 193 00:23:08.054 --> 00:23:10.932 That's not stored in my system. 194 00:23:11.016 --> 00:23:13.268 Right. Massacre... 195 00:23:52.390 --> 00:23:57.020 /Then it happened in a taxi /to Amsterdam airport... 196 00:23:57.479 --> 00:24:00.315 /Suddenly all the memories came back. 197 00:24:00.732 --> 00:24:02.859 /Not a hallucination /nor my subconscious. 198 00:24:03.568 --> 00:24:08.531 /The first day of the war. Barely 19, /I haven't even started shaving. 199 00:24:08.948 --> 00:24:12.243 /We're driving down a road. /Orchards on one side, 200 00:24:12.702 --> 00:24:17.832 /the sea on the other. /We're shooting everywhere 201 00:24:18.291 --> 00:24:20.627 /at everything, until nightfall. 202 00:24:25.715 --> 00:24:28.885 /That evening, when we stopped, /an officer tells me: 203 00:24:29.302 --> 00:24:32.514 /"Load up the dead and wounded. 204 00:24:32.972 --> 00:24:35.475 /Go and dump them." 205 00:24:35.975 --> 00:24:39.312 /"Dump? " /- "Yes, dump." 206 00:24:39.813 --> 00:24:41.147 /"Where? " 207 00:24:41.564 --> 00:24:47.737 /"How should I know? /Out there, near that bright light. 208 00:24:48.196 --> 00:24:50.615 /That's where they're dumped." 209 00:24:57.622 --> 00:25:01.835 /So I drive all the way back. 210 00:25:02.293 --> 00:25:06.965 /I had never seen an open wound /or any kind of bleeding before. 211 00:25:07.465 --> 00:25:09.342 /Now I was in command of a tank 212 00:25:09.759 --> 00:25:15.140 /full of the dead and wounded, /looking for a bright light, salvation. 213 00:25:22.981 --> 00:25:26.317 What should we do? Why don't you tell us what to do? 214 00:25:26.776 --> 00:25:28.778 Shoot. - At who? 215 00:25:29.195 --> 00:25:30.947 How do I know? Just shoot. 216 00:25:31.364 --> 00:25:35.160 Isn't it better to pray? - Then pray and shoot. 217 00:25:47.464 --> 00:25:51.509 /Finally we see the helicopter lights. /Like halos. 218 00:25:51.968 --> 00:25:57.265 /As we get closer to the light, /we see dead and wounded everywhere. 219 00:26:33.802 --> 00:26:39.015 /We unload mechanically, /as if we're not even present. 220 00:26:39.432 --> 00:26:42.352 /Then we turn around and drive off. 221 00:27:09.963 --> 00:27:12.674 On the first day of the war, 222 00:27:13.174 --> 00:27:16.344 I transported the dead and wounded 223 00:27:16.761 --> 00:27:19.931 from tanks on the coast road. 224 00:27:20.849 --> 00:27:22.976 I'm looking for people who were with me. 225 00:27:23.059 --> 00:27:26.771 Could your men have been among them? 226 00:27:26.855 --> 00:27:32.235 It sounds logical... We were in the coastal area. 227 00:27:33.319 --> 00:27:35.488 In the western sector... It's possible. 228 00:27:36.031 --> 00:27:39.826 Do you recognize me here? 229 00:27:43.621 --> 00:27:44.873 No. 230 00:27:46.958 --> 00:27:49.085 I don't recognize myself either. 231 00:28:04.809 --> 00:28:09.189 Crossing the border at Rosh Hanikra, felt like an excursion. 232 00:28:09.606 --> 00:28:10.982 We took photos, 233 00:28:11.441 --> 00:28:13.568 we told jokes... 234 00:28:13.985 --> 00:28:18.448 We had time to fool around before going into action. 235 00:28:19.866 --> 00:28:26.623 /Good morning, Lebanon 236 00:28:34.756 --> 00:28:41.221 /Too much pain to carry on 237 00:28:42.347 --> 00:28:48.019 /Good morning, Lebanon 238 00:28:49.062 --> 00:28:54.442 The landscape was beautiful, trees all around, 239 00:28:54.901 --> 00:29:00.532 a few scattered houses... A really idyllic pastoral scene. 240 00:29:00.990 --> 00:29:04.452 The slow drive allowed us to enjoy the scenery. 241 00:29:04.869 --> 00:29:11.918 /May your dreams come true 242 00:29:12.711 --> 00:29:19.175 /May your nightmares pass 243 00:29:20.260 --> 00:29:25.682 /Your existence is a blessing, Lebanon 244 00:29:26.099 --> 00:29:29.811 In a tank, you always feel really safe. 245 00:29:30.228 --> 00:29:34.983 A tank is a very massive enclosed vehicle. 246 00:29:35.400 --> 00:29:37.485 Inside the tank, 247 00:29:37.944 --> 00:29:39.320 we were protected. 248 00:29:43.241 --> 00:29:49.956 /You are torn to pieces 249 00:29:50.373 --> 00:29:57.505 /You bleed to death in my arms 250 00:29:58.089 --> 00:30:00.675 /You bleed to death in my arms 251 00:30:01.676 --> 00:30:05.388 /You are the love of my life 252 00:30:06.556 --> 00:30:12.687 /Oh, my short, short life 253 00:30:13.104 --> 00:30:18.568 /Tear me to pieces 254 00:30:20.779 --> 00:30:23.323 /I'm bleeding... 255 00:30:28.244 --> 00:30:32.916 Suddenly our commander stopped responding. We lost contact. 256 00:30:33.249 --> 00:30:35.085 Was he beside you? - Yes. 257 00:30:35.502 --> 00:30:40.298 I saw his head slumped forward. 258 00:30:41.424 --> 00:30:45.428 I went down inside and saw blood, blood in the tank. 259 00:30:46.596 --> 00:30:52.477 The blood was coming from his neck. 260 00:30:55.313 --> 00:30:59.567 You were next in command? - Yes, I was. 261 00:31:00.026 --> 00:31:02.904 But I didn't react immediately. 262 00:31:03.571 --> 00:31:08.159 We just stayed in the tank without even thinking of firing back. 263 00:31:12.288 --> 00:31:13.373 Two minutes later, 264 00:31:13.790 --> 00:31:18.044 there was an explosion. Everyone tried to escape from the tank hysterically... 265 00:31:22.632 --> 00:31:26.136 without weapons or anything... 266 00:31:26.594 --> 00:31:29.639 Those who stayed inside, were killed in the tank. 267 00:31:36.021 --> 00:31:38.773 I ran as fast as I could 268 00:31:39.232 --> 00:31:41.985 in zigzags towards the sea. 269 00:32:02.756 --> 00:32:04.341 My only thought: 270 00:32:04.799 --> 00:32:08.345 It's over. I'm done for. 271 00:32:09.429 --> 00:32:14.142 They'll be here any minute. All I can do is wait for the end. 272 00:32:21.066 --> 00:32:25.111 I saw the building from which they were shooting, and the commander. 273 00:32:25.612 --> 00:32:30.950 I hoped he'd get closer. 274 00:32:59.479 --> 00:33:03.650 I don't know why, but he started to retreat. 275 00:33:15.704 --> 00:33:20.709 I felt abandoned by our forces. 276 00:33:25.714 --> 00:33:30.135 I imagined how my mother would react. 277 00:33:30.593 --> 00:33:35.432 We're very close. I was always like her right hand. 278 00:33:35.890 --> 00:33:40.812 I'm the only one who helps out at home. 279 00:33:41.855 --> 00:33:43.565 Like the firstborn son. 280 00:33:46.818 --> 00:33:50.822 I took a peek. I saw them chatting, smoking. 281 00:33:52.032 --> 00:33:54.200 I wondered why 282 00:33:54.617 --> 00:33:56.786 they didn't notice me. 283 00:33:58.496 --> 00:34:02.917 I peeked a few more times, I realized that they probably thought 284 00:34:03.376 --> 00:34:08.006 that everyone was killed in the attack. 285 00:34:08.465 --> 00:34:11.760 I decided to wait until dark. 286 00:34:12.218 --> 00:34:14.637 I had a good place to hide. 287 00:34:24.230 --> 00:34:26.816 I don't know why, but I decided 288 00:34:27.233 --> 00:34:29.778 to crawl out to the sea. 289 00:34:35.283 --> 00:34:41.247 I didn't want to stay close to shore, so I swam quite far out. 290 00:34:42.957 --> 00:34:47.671 When I felt I was far out enough I started swimming south. 291 00:34:48.129 --> 00:34:49.172 How was the sea? 292 00:34:49.631 --> 00:34:53.760 Really calm, no waves. 293 00:34:54.886 --> 00:34:57.847 I felt calm and at peace. Just me and the sea. 294 00:35:14.364 --> 00:35:17.701 I felt safe, because the sea was calm and peaceful. 295 00:35:18.368 --> 00:35:21.538 But I was still really afraid 296 00:35:22.706 --> 00:35:25.875 that my strength would fail and I'd drown. 297 00:35:26.376 --> 00:35:31.464 Or maybe someone might spot me and shoot at me, kill me. 298 00:35:42.892 --> 00:35:47.897 While swimming through this peaceful water, 299 00:35:48.314 --> 00:35:51.568 I suddenly heard a loud noise. 300 00:35:52.027 --> 00:35:53.903 I felt the water pulsating. 301 00:35:54.320 --> 00:35:58.825 I felt the turbulent water enveloping me. 302 00:35:59.743 --> 00:36:04.122 My body shook with fear. 303 00:36:34.736 --> 00:36:39.324 I saw lights in the distance and I headed in that direction. 304 00:36:39.783 --> 00:36:42.619 They might be Israeli forces. 305 00:36:43.036 --> 00:36:47.123 I kept swimming but felt my strength was dwindling. 306 00:36:47.582 --> 00:36:50.251 I could barely move my limbs. 307 00:37:02.222 --> 00:37:06.184 Sometimes I simply let the water carry me along. 308 00:37:15.985 --> 00:37:18.822 I eventually reached shore and started walking. 309 00:37:19.280 --> 00:37:24.536 I heard voices speaking Hebrew on the two-way radio. 310 00:37:24.994 --> 00:37:27.455 I knew 311 00:37:28.456 --> 00:37:32.711 that I had to get to them despite my exhaustion. 312 00:37:40.802 --> 00:37:45.223 To my amazement, it was the regiment that had abandoned me. 313 00:37:49.144 --> 00:37:53.231 After I got back to my regiment, 314 00:37:53.648 --> 00:37:56.026 I felt like... 315 00:37:57.944 --> 00:38:01.197 like it was me who had abandoned my comrades. 316 00:38:01.614 --> 00:38:03.867 I always felt that they regarded me like... 317 00:38:09.289 --> 00:38:13.626 like someone who didn't help rescue his friends. 318 00:38:13.710 --> 00:38:21.009 As if I had fled the battlefield just to save my own skin. 319 00:38:21.426 --> 00:38:23.511 I sometimes felt very uneasy. 320 00:38:23.928 --> 00:38:26.181 I broke off contact with the families of the dead. 321 00:38:26.639 --> 00:38:33.605 At first I visited their graves, but then I just stopped. 322 00:38:34.064 --> 00:38:39.194 I wanted to forget. I didn't want to relive those moments. 323 00:38:39.652 --> 00:38:44.157 Visiting the graves, you felt... - Guilty. 324 00:38:44.616 --> 00:38:47.952 I felt guilty standing at their graves. 325 00:38:48.411 --> 00:38:51.247 As if I didn't do enough. 326 00:38:51.790 --> 00:38:53.166 I didn't do enough. 327 00:38:53.583 --> 00:38:59.923 I wasn't the hero type who carries weapons and saves everyone's life. 328 00:39:00.340 --> 00:39:03.426 That's not me. I'm not the type. 329 00:39:43.174 --> 00:39:46.678 /I bombed Sidon today 330 00:39:48.179 --> 00:39:53.184 /amid the clouds of smoke at dawn 331 00:39:53.810 --> 00:39:58.481 /I almost went home in a coffin 332 00:40:00.150 --> 00:40:02.819 /I bombed Sidon today 333 00:40:07.615 --> 00:40:11.202 /One month after Ronnie Dayag /swam back home safely. 334 00:40:11.619 --> 00:40:15.373 /the army took the beach /from which he had fled. 335 00:40:15.790 --> 00:40:19.794 /They told us we'd soon attack Beirut /and that we'd all die. 336 00:40:20.462 --> 00:40:25.050 /But on the beach, /we didn't think much about death. 337 00:40:25.508 --> 00:40:27.802 /I had a hut of banana leaves. 338 00:40:28.219 --> 00:40:30.138 /Thinking back, 339 00:40:30.597 --> 00:40:36.353 /the smell of Patchouli Oil /still makes me nauseous. 340 00:40:38.104 --> 00:40:42.817 /It was really popular in the '80s. /For my roommate Frenkel, 341 00:40:43.234 --> 00:40:49.032 /Patchouli was not just a fragrance, /it was a way of life. 342 00:41:18.978 --> 00:41:21.898 Patchouli... How do you use it? 343 00:41:22.524 --> 00:41:24.067 Show me. 344 00:41:25.568 --> 00:41:29.656 You sprinkle a drop on your hand, like this. 345 00:41:38.873 --> 00:41:40.166 This way, 346 00:41:40.625 --> 00:41:43.628 your comrades always know you're there. 347 00:41:44.045 --> 00:41:47.924 I remember my men telling me: 348 00:41:48.383 --> 00:41:53.638 "Frenkel, you walk too fast. Like a rabbit." 349 00:41:56.391 --> 00:41:59.853 So what do you do? Patchouli! 350 00:42:00.311 --> 00:42:04.024 In the dark, at night... They couldn't miss me! 351 00:42:04.441 --> 00:42:08.862 The scent is really strong, even out in the field. 352 00:42:09.696 --> 00:42:11.281 I still use it. 353 00:42:13.491 --> 00:42:17.412 /I bombed Beirut today 354 00:42:19.039 --> 00:42:23.251 /I bombed Beirut every day 355 00:42:24.419 --> 00:42:29.632 /If I came close to death /I couldn't say 356 00:42:30.300 --> 00:42:33.428 /I bombed Beirut every day 357 00:42:35.221 --> 00:42:39.225 /At the pull of a trigger 358 00:42:41.019 --> 00:42:44.564 /We can send strangers /straight to Hell 359 00:42:47.067 --> 00:42:51.237 /Sure, we kill some innocent /along the way 360 00:42:52.238 --> 00:42:57.369 /If I came close to death /I couldn't say 361 00:42:57.827 --> 00:42:59.079 /I bombed Beirut every day 362 00:43:02.082 --> 00:43:04.292 /Our daily routine was this: 363 00:43:05.960 --> 00:43:07.587 Get up in the morning, 364 00:43:08.922 --> 00:43:13.510 prepare breakfast on those frying pans, 365 00:43:14.135 --> 00:43:16.304 potted beef and eggs. 366 00:43:17.097 --> 00:43:18.682 On the beach. - On the beach. 367 00:43:19.766 --> 00:43:20.308 Take a quick swim, 368 00:43:21.434 --> 00:43:24.688 back into uniform, then go after some terrorists. 369 00:44:56.363 --> 00:44:58.573 Someone yelled, "Frenkel! " 370 00:45:00.700 --> 00:45:03.119 I noticed a boy holding an RPG. 371 00:45:03.536 --> 00:45:05.121 A kid. 372 00:45:19.386 --> 00:45:21.554 Frenkel, was I there too? 373 00:45:22.013 --> 00:45:26.810 Sure. From training camp, you were with me wherever I went. 374 00:45:27.769 --> 00:45:29.938 Even there? - Yes, there too. 375 00:45:30.563 --> 00:45:33.858 Good to know. Of course I was there. 376 00:45:35.527 --> 00:45:40.031 Is it possible that I can't remember such a dramatic event? 377 00:45:40.490 --> 00:45:42.242 We call them "dissociative events". 378 00:45:42.826 --> 00:45:47.372 It's when a person is in a situation but feels outside it. 379 00:45:47.831 --> 00:45:51.835 I was once visited by a young man, an amateur photographer. 380 00:45:52.293 --> 00:45:55.922 I asked him in 1983, "How did you survive through that grueling war? " 381 00:45:56.798 --> 00:46:00.593 He replied, "It was quite easy. I regarded it as a long day-trip." 382 00:46:01.553 --> 00:46:05.223 He told himself. "W ow! What great scenes: 383 00:46:05.640 --> 00:46:08.768 shooting, artillery, wounded people, screaming..." 384 00:46:09.227 --> 00:46:14.441 He looked at everything as if through an imaginary camera. 385 00:46:29.122 --> 00:46:30.874 Then something happened: 386 00:46:32.042 --> 00:46:34.210 his 'camera' broke. 387 00:46:47.682 --> 00:46:50.477 He said that the situation turned traumatic for him 388 00:46:50.935 --> 00:46:55.774 when they arrived in the vicinity of the stables in Beirut. 389 00:46:56.191 --> 00:46:57.317 The Hippodrome. 390 00:46:57.776 --> 00:47:01.780 He saw a huge number of carcasses 391 00:47:02.197 --> 00:47:06.368 of slaughtered Arabian horses. 392 00:47:06.826 --> 00:47:12.040 "It broke my heart.", he said. "What had those horses done 393 00:47:12.457 --> 00:47:14.793 to deserve such suffering? " 394 00:47:15.251 --> 00:47:18.713 He couldn't handle seeing those dead and wounded horses. 395 00:47:19.172 --> 00:47:22.133 He had used a mechanism to remain outside events, 396 00:47:22.550 --> 00:47:26.179 as if watching the war on film instead of participating. 397 00:47:26.596 --> 00:47:28.765 This protected him. 398 00:47:29.224 --> 00:47:33.728 Once pulled into the events, he could no longer deny reality. 399 00:47:34.688 --> 00:47:38.566 Horror surrounded him and he freaked out. 400 00:47:46.157 --> 00:47:50.453 You told me earlier that you can't remember being in the orchard 401 00:47:50.912 --> 00:47:52.205 where the boy with the RPG was. 402 00:47:53.957 --> 00:47:55.250 Can you remember other things? Like going home, 403 00:47:58.086 --> 00:48:00.839 chatting with friends, events from that time, 404 00:48:01.297 --> 00:48:05.510 something that maybe reminds you of that time? 405 00:48:05.969 --> 00:48:09.055 Yes, in detail. - For example? 406 00:48:09.472 --> 00:48:12.392 I can remember perfectly every furlough. 407 00:49:04.861 --> 00:49:08.490 /I remember when I was about 10, /there was a war going on. 408 00:49:09.616 --> 00:49:12.327 /And everything came to a halt. /All the fathers were at the front. 409 00:49:13.244 --> 00:49:17.040 /All children sat with their mothers /closed up indoors, 410 00:49:18.166 --> 00:49:20.835 /behind closed blinds in the dark. 411 00:49:21.378 --> 00:49:24.756 /Just waiting for a plane to drop a bomb /and kill them all. 412 00:49:27.509 --> 00:49:28.009 /No one even dreamed of going outside. 413 00:49:31.388 --> 00:49:36.142 /When I went home from Lebanon /for the first time in six weeks, 414 00:49:36.685 --> 00:49:40.522 /and saw that life /was carrying on normally. 415 00:49:52.867 --> 00:49:57.997 /My goal on leave /was to get back my girlfriend Yaeli. 416 00:49:58.415 --> 00:50:01.501 /She had dumped me the night before /all of this started. 417 00:50:23.064 --> 00:50:27.652 Remember, how? Add some Sprite... 418 00:50:28.111 --> 00:50:29.571 Ready? 419 00:50:35.076 --> 00:50:36.286 Bottoms up! 420 00:50:40.415 --> 00:50:42.375 The memories are coming back. 421 00:50:42.792 --> 00:50:48.006 I met people who served with me. I almost have the full picture. 422 00:50:48.506 --> 00:50:51.676 At which point? - The first day of the war, 423 00:50:52.093 --> 00:50:54.429 the siege on Beirut. 424 00:50:54.888 --> 00:50:57.140 You remember that Yaeli dumped you a week before? 425 00:50:58.141 --> 00:50:59.309 How do you know? 426 00:51:03.355 --> 00:51:06.900 Didn't you know that I was in love with her for years? 427 00:51:09.027 --> 00:51:11.863 No, I didn't know that. 428 00:51:12.280 --> 00:51:13.573 It's true. 429 00:51:16.034 --> 00:51:18.703 What's wrong? That was 20 years ago. 430 00:51:19.204 --> 00:51:21.831 It's OK. I'm not angry. 431 00:51:24.751 --> 00:51:27.504 At least you had your home, your family. 432 00:51:27.962 --> 00:51:31.049 What home? What family? 433 00:51:32.217 --> 00:51:33.259 You have no idea. 434 00:51:33.885 --> 00:51:34.969 My father... 435 00:51:35.804 --> 00:51:41.518 To comfort me, he told me that in his war, 436 00:51:41.976 --> 00:51:43.978 World War II... 437 00:51:44.437 --> 00:51:45.980 Russian soldiers in Stalingrad 438 00:51:46.439 --> 00:51:49.776 were given 48 hours leave only after one year on the front. 439 00:51:59.703 --> 00:52:04.749 They got on a train, arrived home at the station, 440 00:52:05.709 --> 00:52:07.961 kissed their girlfriends on the platform, 441 00:52:08.336 --> 00:52:13.049 then had to get back on board to head back to the front. 442 00:52:13.466 --> 00:52:14.801 Understand? 443 00:52:18.096 --> 00:52:23.309 He thought it would comfort me. In fact, he was right. 444 00:52:23.727 --> 00:52:27.105 After only 24 hours I was called back to duty. 445 00:52:27.522 --> 00:52:30.984 Back then, a new trend started: car bombs. 446 00:52:31.443 --> 00:52:32.986 Still popular today. 447 00:52:33.445 --> 00:52:36.114 They're a blast! 448 00:52:36.573 --> 00:52:38.658 A real blast! 449 00:52:40.577 --> 00:52:44.914 So I arrive at this villa on the outskirts of Beirut. 450 00:52:51.671 --> 00:52:54.132 Everything is made of gold. 451 00:52:54.632 --> 00:52:58.928 Fancy sinks, marble, gold fixtures and all that stuff. 452 00:53:01.264 --> 00:53:05.894 An officer sits in front of the TV. He doesn't look at me. 453 00:53:06.311 --> 00:53:09.606 He keeps repeating: "Fast forward." 454 00:53:10.815 --> 00:53:12.609 Fast forward. 455 00:53:13.318 --> 00:53:14.861 /THE PLUMBER COMES 2 456 00:53:15.445 --> 00:53:19.657 /I'm here to check your plumbing. /- Down here. 457 00:53:25.538 --> 00:53:29.876 /Have you seen my tool? /- Which tool? 458 00:53:36.549 --> 00:53:37.050 Fast forward. 459 00:53:50.271 --> 00:53:51.356 Stop. 460 00:54:05.787 --> 00:54:06.663 He changes the tape and says: 461 00:54:07.163 --> 00:54:11.459 We received a tip-off about a red Mercedes. 462 00:54:11.918 --> 00:54:13.628 It's coming to blow up your men. - So? 463 00:54:14.087 --> 00:54:16.506 Blow it up first. 464 00:54:16.965 --> 00:54:20.093 Every red Mercedes? - Are you an idiot? 465 00:54:20.719 --> 00:54:22.804 Did the Mercedes come? 466 00:54:23.513 --> 00:54:29.144 We waited all night for the exploding Mercedes, 467 00:54:29.602 --> 00:54:32.605 for this impending disaster. 468 00:55:11.102 --> 00:55:16.441 Then, in the middle of the night, the phone rang. 469 00:55:17.984 --> 00:55:19.444 Bashir is dead. 470 00:55:20.653 --> 00:55:22.238 Which Bashir? - Bashir Gemayel, 471 00:55:22.739 --> 00:55:25.116 the elected president of Lebanon. 472 00:55:25.825 --> 00:55:30.372 A brother, an ally, a Christian. Murdered. 473 00:55:31.206 --> 00:55:35.418 Wake everyone up. You'll be in Beirut in two hours! 474 00:55:35.960 --> 00:55:39.506 /I don't remember much /about the flight to Beirut, 475 00:55:39.881 --> 00:55:44.052 /except that I was having /obsessive thoughts about death. 476 00:55:44.469 --> 00:55:48.473 /Because my girlfriend Yaeli /had dumped me the week before. 477 00:55:48.890 --> 00:55:51.935 /Death would be my revenge. 478 00:55:52.352 --> 00:55:55.355 /She would be ridden with guilt 479 00:55:55.814 --> 00:55:57.857 /for the rest of her life. 480 00:56:01.903 --> 00:56:04.572 /While fantasizing about my death, 481 00:56:05.699 --> 00:56:07.325 /we approach Beirut. 482 00:56:07.492 --> 00:56:10.203 /A city with hotels, beaches, 483 00:56:11.162 --> 00:56:12.831 /and people scurrying about. 484 00:56:13.206 --> 00:56:16.209 /We land at the international airport. 485 00:56:16.626 --> 00:56:22.132 /Our Hercules army helicopter /lands next to jets from Air France, TWA, 486 00:56:22.465 --> 00:56:24.634 /and British Airways. 487 00:56:25.427 --> 00:56:28.805 /I was excited /like I was going on a trip abroad, 488 00:56:29.097 --> 00:56:31.975 /excited all over. 489 00:56:40.066 --> 00:56:42.318 /At some point I simply take off 490 00:56:42.736 --> 00:56:44.904 /and walk into the terminal. 491 00:56:46.072 --> 00:56:48.992 /It felt as if I was on a leisure trip, 492 00:56:50.577 --> 00:56:53.079 /a sort of hallucination. 493 00:56:53.997 --> 00:56:55.874 /Like standing in a terminal 494 00:56:56.249 --> 00:56:59.252 /waiting to choose my destination. 495 00:56:59.544 --> 00:57:03.048 /Before that '80s departures board, 496 00:57:03.465 --> 00:57:07.010 /the choice is all mine. 497 00:57:07.886 --> 00:57:10.388 /I see the 14:10 to London, 498 00:57:10.764 --> 00:57:12.932 /the 15:20 to Paris, 499 00:57:13.308 --> 00:57:14.559 /the 16:00 to New York... 500 00:57:17.562 --> 00:57:18.855 /I wander through the terminal /and see the duty-free shops: 501 00:57:21.858 --> 00:57:24.778 /jewellery, tobacco, 502 00:57:25.236 --> 00:57:26.321 /alcohol... 503 00:57:26.780 --> 00:57:31.242 /While I'm still on this trip, /I suddenly realize what's going on. 504 00:57:31.659 --> 00:57:35.372 /Through the window I see 505 00:57:35.747 --> 00:57:40.627 /that all the TWA and Air France planes /are just bombed- out shells. 506 00:57:42.337 --> 00:57:43.880 /And the shops are empty, 507 00:57:44.631 --> 00:57:46.341 /they've long since been looted. 508 00:57:46.758 --> 00:57:51.513 /And the schedule board /hasn't changed for months. 509 00:57:53.264 --> 00:57:55.850 /Then I start to hear sounds, voices. 510 00:57:56.935 --> 00:58:00.772 /I hear shelling in the city /and the bombing by the air force. 511 00:58:02.065 --> 00:58:03.358 /Slowly I begin to realize where I am 512 00:58:03.775 --> 00:58:06.778 /and I am afraid /of what will happen next. 513 00:58:11.825 --> 00:58:15.995 /We start walking /from the airport to the city. 514 00:58:16.413 --> 00:58:19.916 /Tall high-rise hotels /hover above us. 515 00:58:20.917 --> 00:58:23.211 /The sea is at our side. 516 00:58:31.386 --> 00:58:37.183 /We walk along a promenade /towards a large junction. 517 00:58:38.351 --> 00:58:43.565 /Then we come under sniper fire /from the upper floors of a hotel. 518 00:58:44.649 --> 00:58:50.530 /We can't see where it's coming from /or who is shooting. 519 00:58:50.947 --> 00:58:55.910 /A wounded soldier was lying at the /junction, but we couldn't get to him. 520 00:58:56.494 --> 00:58:58.329 /We were scared to death. 521 00:59:11.885 --> 00:59:13.928 /Then, in the middle of this hell, 522 00:59:14.346 --> 00:59:19.142 /that TV correspondent /Ron Ben- Yishai suddenly shows up. 523 00:59:19.768 --> 00:59:25.148 /He's walking upright, /dodging bullets like Superman. 524 00:59:25.565 --> 00:59:29.903 /Strolling along as if nothing's wrong, /while bullets whiz past him. 525 00:59:30.528 --> 00:59:34.783 /In front of him, a terrified cameraman /crawls forward. 526 00:59:35.241 --> 00:59:40.455 /Trembling with fear, /he can't see beyond his helmet. 527 00:59:41.039 --> 00:59:43.583 It was a large junction. 528 00:59:44.626 --> 00:59:50.006 One lane led directly into Hamra street, 529 00:59:51.216 --> 00:59:53.843 to the West Beirut district of Hamra. 530 00:59:54.928 --> 00:59:58.723 I remember the sizzling sound, a sort of hissing noise... 531 00:59:59.391 --> 01:00:03.603 They were firing masses of RPGs, and it sounded 532 01:00:04.604 --> 01:00:06.731 like a Native American arrow-shooting range. 533 01:00:07.148 --> 01:00:10.819 Before an RPG explodes, it makes this hissing noise. 534 01:00:12.946 --> 01:00:15.782 You don't hear an explosion, 535 01:00:16.199 --> 01:00:20.537 but just this hissing, then the walls shattering. 536 01:00:21.621 --> 01:00:27.585 During all this, civilians are seen on balconies: 537 01:00:28.712 --> 01:00:29.754 women, children, 538 01:00:30.547 --> 01:00:34.968 and old people are watching as if it were a film. 539 01:00:48.982 --> 01:00:54.404 They are shooting at us from all directions. 540 01:01:00.744 --> 01:01:03.329 And we can't get across. 541 01:01:03.788 --> 01:01:07.959 Throughout my military service I was a MAG shooter. 542 01:01:08.543 --> 01:01:10.712 During my officer's training, I thought, 543 01:01:11.379 --> 01:01:15.258 "You've used a MAG for so long, why not try something else? " 544 01:01:15.884 --> 01:01:16.384 So they gave me a Galil. 545 01:01:17.761 --> 01:01:23.975 And while they're shooting at us from all directions, 546 01:01:24.726 --> 01:01:29.773 I realize that I can't shoot with the Galil like I could before. 547 01:01:30.815 --> 01:01:35.528 I missed the good old MAG that I was familiar with. 548 01:01:36.488 --> 01:01:39.991 So I say to Erez, "Erez, do me a favor. 549 01:01:42.702 --> 01:01:47.332 Give me your MAG. I won't make it across with the Galil. 550 01:01:47.415 --> 01:01:50.543 Give me your MAG and we'll cross the street. 551 01:01:51.628 --> 01:01:52.128 I'll shoot better." 552 01:01:53.838 --> 01:01:57.175 He says, " Frenkel, are you nuts? 553 01:01:57.676 --> 01:02:02.514 They're attacking us! Stop babbling and shoot! " 554 01:02:05.642 --> 01:02:08.061 I finally realize that I must 555 01:02:08.186 --> 01:02:11.564 take drastic steps. I grab him and say, 556 01:02:11.690 --> 01:02:18.697 "Listen, Erez, give me the MAG, or I'll take it by force! " 557 01:02:44.514 --> 01:02:46.933 Whether an eternity or just a minute, 558 01:02:47.517 --> 01:02:49.769 there was Frenkel at the junction 559 01:02:50.186 --> 01:02:53.648 with bullets flying past him in every direction. 560 01:02:54.065 --> 01:02:56.943 Instead of crossing the junction, 561 01:02:57.360 --> 01:03:00.572 I saw him dancing, as if in a trance. 562 01:03:01.781 --> 01:03:05.744 He cursed the shooters. Like he wanted to stay there forever. 563 01:03:06.161 --> 01:03:10.957 As if he wanted to show off his waltz amid the gunfire, 564 01:03:11.416 --> 01:03:14.252 with the posters of Bashir above his head. 565 01:03:14.753 --> 01:03:18.173 And Bashir's followers 566 01:03:18.631 --> 01:03:20.717 preparing their big revenge just 200 yards away: 567 01:03:21.176 --> 01:03:24.971 The Sabra and Shatila massacre. 568 01:03:35.732 --> 01:03:39.194 I'm starting to remember. 569 01:03:39.819 --> 01:03:43.031 I've met people, I've heard stories... 570 01:03:43.656 --> 01:03:45.325 Stories about myself. 571 01:03:46.409 --> 01:03:47.494 I didn't want to believe them. 572 01:03:49.913 --> 01:03:53.249 So what can't you remember? 573 01:03:53.833 --> 01:03:58.755 The day of the massacre. I can remember everything else. 574 01:03:59.839 --> 01:04:04.177 I don't understand why people were so surprised 575 01:04:04.844 --> 01:04:07.931 that the Phalangists carried out the massacre. 576 01:04:08.348 --> 01:04:11.226 I knew all along how ruthless they were. 577 01:04:16.231 --> 01:04:20.485 During the storming of Beirut we were in the slaughterhouse. 578 01:04:20.568 --> 01:04:24.280 Where? - The slaughterhouse, that junk yard 579 01:04:25.407 --> 01:04:30.286 where they took the Palestinians, interrogated them, and executed them. 580 01:04:30.787 --> 01:04:33.832 It was like being on an LSD trip. 581 01:04:42.048 --> 01:04:45.176 They carried body parts of murdered Palestinians 582 01:04:45.593 --> 01:04:47.929 preserved in jars of formaldehyde. 583 01:04:50.473 --> 01:04:55.353 They had fingers, eyeballs, anything you wanted. 584 01:05:01.359 --> 01:05:04.195 And always pictures of Bashir. 585 01:05:05.030 --> 01:05:08.575 Bashir pendants, Bashir watches, Bashir this, Bashir that... 586 01:05:08.992 --> 01:05:15.165 Bashir was to them what David Bowie was to me. 587 01:05:15.540 --> 01:05:20.253 A star, an idol, a prince, admirable. 588 01:05:21.296 --> 01:05:24.382 I think they even felt an eroticism for him. 589 01:05:25.008 --> 01:05:26.843 Totally erotic. 590 01:05:28.511 --> 01:05:33.183 Their idol was about to become king. We were the ones to crown him. 591 01:05:34.225 --> 01:05:36.478 The next day he was murdered. 592 01:05:36.895 --> 01:05:40.690 It was obvious they'd avenge his death in some perverse way. 593 01:05:41.900 --> 01:05:44.903 It was as if their wife had been murdered. 594 01:05:45.362 --> 01:05:48.823 This was about family honor, which runs deep. 595 01:05:52.202 --> 01:05:53.536 Why did you come back? 596 01:05:54.120 --> 01:05:59.584 I'm still having these hallucinations about the massacre on the beach. 597 01:06:00.919 --> 01:06:03.338 And you're there with me. 598 01:06:44.879 --> 01:06:46.631 You're crazy. 599 01:06:47.298 --> 01:06:49.384 You're obsessed. 600 01:06:49.759 --> 01:06:54.556 Beach? What are you talking about? Who was on the beach that night? 601 01:06:54.973 --> 01:06:57.100 What beach? 602 01:07:08.695 --> 01:07:11.364 I've reached a dead end. 603 01:07:11.865 --> 01:07:16.327 I can't find anyone who was with me at the massacre. 604 01:07:17.162 --> 01:07:20.165 No one who was with me 605 01:07:20.623 --> 01:07:25.587 has any solid memories of the days of the massacre. 606 01:07:26.046 --> 01:07:29.299 I only have this one vision. 607 01:07:29.716 --> 01:07:35.555 And Carmi, the only person in my vision, denies being there with me. 608 01:07:36.014 --> 01:07:38.433 It's still real. - It's a vision. 609 01:07:38.850 --> 01:07:41.936 But it's yours. Shall I explain? - Yes. 610 01:07:42.395 --> 01:07:47.275 What does the sea symbolize in dreams? Fear. Feelings. 611 01:07:48.443 --> 01:07:52.947 The massacre frightens you, makes you uneasy. You were close to it. 612 01:07:53.448 --> 01:07:55.116 That doesn't help me much. 613 01:07:55.575 --> 01:08:00.955 Your interest in the massacre developed long before it happened. 614 01:08:01.748 --> 01:08:04.793 Your interest in the massacre stems from another massacre. 615 01:08:05.210 --> 01:08:09.839 Your interest in those camps is actually about the "other" camps. 616 01:08:10.298 --> 01:08:12.217 Were your parents in camps? - Yes. 617 01:08:12.425 --> 01:08:14.094 Auschwitz? - Yes. 618 01:08:14.803 --> 01:08:19.391 So the massacre has been with you since you were six. 619 01:08:20.100 --> 01:08:23.103 You lived through the massacre and those camps. 620 01:08:23.853 --> 01:08:28.191 Your only solution is to find out what really happened 621 01:08:29.275 --> 01:08:32.612 in Sabra and Shatila. Seek out people. 622 01:08:33.154 --> 01:08:36.157 Find out what really happened, ask who was there. 623 01:08:36.574 --> 01:08:39.911 Get details and more details. That way... 624 01:08:41.955 --> 01:08:46.209 Then maybe you can find out where you were exactly. 625 01:08:46.626 --> 01:08:48.712 and what role you played. 626 01:08:58.096 --> 01:09:03.435 On that day we were sent to a certain post. 627 01:09:03.852 --> 01:09:07.772 It was actually on a hill. This hill 628 01:09:07.856 --> 01:09:12.360 was opposite the western sector of the refugee camp. 629 01:09:12.777 --> 01:09:18.450 From where I was, I could see the settlement houses. 630 01:09:18.950 --> 01:09:21.703 There was occasional shooting. We tried to locate them 631 01:09:22.162 --> 01:09:24.122 and retaliate. 632 01:09:29.210 --> 01:09:31.963 The Christian Phalangist forces began to arrive. 633 01:09:32.422 --> 01:09:35.759 In full kit, soldiers in Israeli uniforms 634 01:09:36.217 --> 01:09:38.720 took position behind tanks. 635 01:09:40.180 --> 01:09:44.809 I was called for a briefing. It was in English. 636 01:09:45.518 --> 01:09:49.856 What was it about? - They told us that the Christians 637 01:09:50.398 --> 01:09:53.651 would enter the camp and we would give them cover. 638 01:09:54.694 --> 01:09:58.031 Once they had purged the camps. 639 01:09:58.531 --> 01:10:00.784 we would seize control. 640 01:10:00.867 --> 01:10:04.204 Purged of what? - Palestinian Terrorists. 641 01:10:57.507 --> 01:11:01.177 The next morning, they began to bring out civilians. 642 01:11:08.435 --> 01:11:13.815 The civilians were led out of the camps 643 01:11:14.232 --> 01:11:18.069 in a long line. 644 01:11:18.528 --> 01:11:22.323 The Phalangists watched on, constantly shouting at them 645 01:11:22.824 --> 01:11:25.285 and occasionally firing into the air. 646 01:11:26.619 --> 01:11:28.329 There were women, old people, 647 01:11:28.788 --> 01:11:33.626 and children walking in a line towards the stadium. 648 01:11:36.004 --> 01:11:42.427 From inside the tank, did you wonder where they were taking them? 649 01:11:42.510 --> 01:11:44.846 Did you think about it? 650 01:11:44.929 --> 01:11:48.558 Not really, because wherever we went, 651 01:11:48.641 --> 01:11:52.062 an announcement was made upon entering a camp. 652 01:11:52.520 --> 01:11:58.401 Civilians were ordered out. Those remaining were considered rebels. 653 01:11:58.485 --> 01:12:04.616 It seemed quite natural to say to the residents, 654 01:12:05.033 --> 01:12:08.453 "If you don't want to get hurt, then come out! " 655 01:12:32.894 --> 01:12:37.732 On that day I drove to Docha, a city on the coast. 656 01:12:38.483 --> 01:12:42.612 It had an Israel Defense Forces landing field. 657 01:12:43.738 --> 01:12:44.948 On the way, 658 01:12:45.448 --> 01:12:48.868 many Phalangist half-track vehicles appeared. 659 01:12:49.327 --> 01:12:55.375 They shouted with joy as they headed towards the airfield. 660 01:12:55.792 --> 01:13:00.130 At the airfield, I met a Colonel friend. 661 01:13:00.797 --> 01:13:03.133 He told me, 662 01:13:04.259 --> 01:13:07.554 "Have you heard what's happening in the refugee camps? " 663 01:13:07.971 --> 01:13:10.640 He had pointed to Sabra and Shatila. 664 01:13:11.099 --> 01:13:13.935 "What's happening? " I asked. 665 01:13:14.352 --> 01:13:20.483 "I didn't witness it myself, but they say there was a terrible massacre." 666 01:13:20.942 --> 01:13:27.407 Palestinians were slaughtered. I heard they put them on trucks. 667 01:13:28.158 --> 01:13:33.121 I was told that crucifixes were carved on their chests. 668 01:13:33.538 --> 01:13:38.710 They were wounded, some in critical condition. 669 01:13:39.210 --> 01:13:41.880 They were put on trucks and taken to an unknown destination. 670 01:13:52.223 --> 01:13:56.019 We saw a Phalangist soldier 671 01:13:56.561 --> 01:13:58.813 taking an old man away. 672 01:14:02.025 --> 01:14:05.653 At some point we heard shots. 673 01:14:06.446 --> 01:14:08.490 We heard shots. 674 01:14:09.449 --> 01:14:12.744 Then the soldier came out alone. 675 01:14:13.161 --> 01:14:16.706 We asked him what happened. 676 01:14:17.457 --> 01:14:23.963 We couldn't hear him, but his gestures meant "Boom! " 677 01:14:24.923 --> 01:14:29.427 We understood that he'd told the man to kneel down before him. 678 01:14:29.886 --> 01:14:33.098 When he refused, he shot his knees. When he refused again, 679 01:14:33.515 --> 01:14:35.433 he shot him in the stomach and head. 680 01:14:39.312 --> 01:14:43.108 Didn't you ever realize 681 01:14:43.775 --> 01:14:47.946 that trucks were going in empty and coming out full, 682 01:14:49.114 --> 01:14:53.451 women and children were brought out and bulldozers went in? 683 01:14:54.536 --> 01:14:55.620 That maybe a massacre is taking place? 684 01:14:56.246 --> 01:15:00.500 Did you wonder why you didn't realize earlier? 685 01:15:02.085 --> 01:15:03.753 Yes, of course. 686 01:15:05.130 --> 01:15:11.344 I realized something was happening only when my men told me. 687 01:15:11.886 --> 01:15:14.139 From the top of their tanks, 688 01:15:14.639 --> 01:15:19.769 they started shouting, "They are shooting people! " 689 01:15:32.699 --> 01:15:37.078 They claim that people were lined up against the well and shot. 690 01:15:37.871 --> 01:15:42.542 So I called my commanding officer. 691 01:15:43.043 --> 01:15:47.380 I told him what I heard was going on in the camps. 692 01:15:49.382 --> 01:15:53.553 He said, " We know about it. It's under control. We reported it." 693 01:15:54.179 --> 01:15:58.475 As far as I was concerned, the army was handling it. 694 01:15:58.558 --> 01:16:03.355 Where was the operations room, the headquarters? 695 01:16:03.938 --> 01:16:08.276 About 100 yards away. On top of a very tall building. 696 01:16:08.818 --> 01:16:12.864 How tall? - Tall enough to see everything. 697 01:16:13.281 --> 01:16:16.701 They surely had a better view than I did. 698 01:16:43.269 --> 01:16:48.274 I didn't want to walk around at night, so I drove 699 01:16:48.692 --> 01:16:52.404 to my place in Bahabda. I had an apartment in Beirut. 700 01:16:52.821 --> 01:16:57.992 Micha Friedman was with me. We decided to make dinner. 701 01:16:58.451 --> 01:17:05.583 Micha invited the guys from the regiment of the 211th Brigade. 702 01:17:06.042 --> 01:17:10.630 During the meal, the regiment commander took me aside. 703 01:17:11.506 --> 01:17:14.342 He said: " Ron, 704 01:17:14.801 --> 01:17:20.557 my men say there's a massacre going on in the camps." 705 01:17:20.974 --> 01:17:24.769 He mentioned one or two incidents, 706 01:17:25.228 --> 01:17:27.105 saying a family was seen shot. 707 01:17:28.189 --> 01:17:31.443 I asked him again, "Did you see it yourself? " 708 01:17:32.152 --> 01:17:35.822 "I didn't", he said, "but my soldiers told me about it. 709 01:17:35.905 --> 01:17:42.328 The officers sitting here did, too." We talked about it over dinner later. 710 01:17:43.079 --> 01:17:47.667 As soon as they left at 11:30 pm, 711 01:17:48.626 --> 01:17:53.173 I knocked back a whiskey and phoned Defense Minister Arik Sharon. 712 01:17:54.883 --> 01:17:57.052 At his ranch. 713 01:17:57.385 --> 01:18:01.348 Arik was half asleep. 714 01:18:01.806 --> 01:18:07.771 I said, "I've heard there's a massacre going on, Arik. 715 01:18:08.897 --> 01:18:13.777 They are slaughtering Palestinians. We have to put a stop to it." 716 01:18:14.527 --> 01:18:18.114 He asked me, "Did you see it yourself? " 717 01:18:19.824 --> 01:18:26.247 "No", I said, " but there are several witnesses who saw it." 718 01:18:26.373 --> 01:18:28.667 "Okay", he said. 719 01:18:29.501 --> 01:18:32.253 "T hanks for bringing it to my attention. " That was all. 720 01:18:32.962 --> 01:18:37.175 You'd normally say, "I'll check it out, I'll look into it. " But no! 721 01:18:37.592 --> 01:18:43.181 He said, " Thanks for bringing it to my attention. Happy New Year! " 722 01:18:43.973 --> 01:18:47.268 Well, something along those lines. Then back to sleep! 723 01:18:47.686 --> 01:18:50.814 It's amazing. A massacre took place, 724 01:18:51.272 --> 01:18:54.901 it was carried out by Christian Phalangists. 725 01:18:57.320 --> 01:19:02.075 All around were several circles of our soldiers 726 01:19:03.660 --> 01:19:06.121 Every circle had some information. 727 01:19:06.621 --> 01:19:09.624 The first one had the most. However, 728 01:19:10.083 --> 01:19:12.836 the penny didn't drop. 729 01:19:13.253 --> 01:19:15.964 They didn't realize they were witnessing a genocide. 730 01:19:16.423 --> 01:19:17.799 What circle were you in? 731 01:19:18.216 --> 01:19:20.844 In the second or third. 732 01:19:21.302 --> 01:19:24.472 What did you do? 733 01:19:26.307 --> 01:19:30.311 We stood on a roof and saw the sky was lit up. 734 01:19:31.104 --> 01:19:34.649 With what? - Flares. 735 01:19:35.108 --> 01:19:39.279 Flares that must have helped them do what they were doing. 736 01:19:46.077 --> 01:19:47.871 Did you fire the flares? 737 01:19:48.371 --> 01:19:49.748 Is that important? 738 01:19:50.206 --> 01:19:53.710 Does it make any difference if I fired them 739 01:19:54.169 --> 01:19:58.423 or if I just saw the flares that helped people shoot others? 740 01:20:00.550 --> 01:20:04.429 In your state of mind at that time, it didn't really make a difference. 741 01:20:04.846 --> 01:20:08.850 You can't remember the massacre because in your opinion, 742 01:20:09.351 --> 01:20:13.980 the murderers and those around them are the same circle. 743 01:20:14.439 --> 01:20:17.484 You felt guilty at the age of 19. 744 01:20:17.901 --> 01:20:20.236 Unwillingly, you took on the role of the Nazi. 745 01:20:20.737 --> 01:20:25.325 You were there firing flares, but you didn't carry out the massacre. 746 01:20:41.549 --> 01:20:46.513 I woke up at 5 or 5:30, and I woke everyone up, 747 01:20:47.514 --> 01:20:49.724 the whole team. 748 01:20:50.183 --> 01:20:53.520 Then I drove to Sabra and Shatila. 749 01:20:54.729 --> 01:20:56.815 When I arrived there... 750 01:20:57.524 --> 01:20:59.734 What a mess! 751 01:21:01.653 --> 01:21:05.949 You know that picture from the Warsaw ghetto? 752 01:21:07.325 --> 01:21:11.413 The one with the kid holding his hands in the air? 753 01:21:13.790 --> 01:21:16.334 That's just how the long line of women, 754 01:21:16.793 --> 01:21:20.046 old people and children looked. 755 01:21:20.505 --> 01:21:23.591 I thought about going to Brigadier Amos's headquarters, 756 01:21:24.884 --> 01:21:29.139 but as I was leaving, Amos suddenly turned up. 757 01:21:29.639 --> 01:21:31.558 He drove to the head of the convoy. 758 01:21:32.017 --> 01:21:36.271 His angry gestures forced them to stop. 759 01:21:36.771 --> 01:21:40.025 And that was the end of it. 760 01:22:11.389 --> 01:22:14.392 The Phalangists withdrew back up the street. 761 01:22:14.851 --> 01:22:19.647 The women and children returned to the camp. 762 01:22:20.065 --> 01:22:22.567 The Palestinians? - Yes. 763 01:22:30.575 --> 01:22:34.954 I said to my men, "We're going in with them... 764 01:22:35.789 --> 01:22:37.665 With those women and children. 765 01:22:39.626 --> 01:22:43.338 We'll see what happened in there." 766 01:22:43.755 --> 01:22:46.800 Inside the camp we saw a huge amount of rubble. 767 01:22:47.509 --> 01:22:49.344 My eye caught 768 01:22:49.761 --> 01:22:51.971 a hand, a small hand. 769 01:22:52.389 --> 01:22:58.311 A child's hand stuck out from the rubble. 770 01:22:59.270 --> 01:23:03.942 I looked a bit closer and saw curls. 771 01:23:05.485 --> 01:23:11.366 A head of curls covered in dust. It was hard to make out. 772 01:23:11.825 --> 01:23:17.789 But it was a head, exposed up to the nose. 773 01:23:19.958 --> 01:23:21.626 A hand and a head. 774 01:23:22.210 --> 01:23:26.131 My own daughter was the same age as that little girl. 775 01:23:26.631 --> 01:23:30.468 And she had curly hair, too. 776 01:23:35.932 --> 01:23:39.894 The Palestinians in refugee camps have houses with courtyards. 777 01:23:40.311 --> 01:23:43.356 These courtyards were full of bodies of women and children. 778 01:23:43.773 --> 01:23:46.985 The young men had been shot first. 779 01:23:47.527 --> 01:23:50.864 Then the rest of the family was dealt with. 780 01:23:52.490 --> 01:23:56.286 We entered one alley, a very narrow alley... 781 01:23:56.703 --> 01:23:59.789 the width of a man and a half 782 01:24:00.290 --> 01:24:03.543 That alley was full... 783 01:24:04.002 --> 01:24:09.632 Piled up to the height of a man's chest 784 01:24:10.008 --> 01:24:12.177 with the bodies of young men. 785 01:24:12.635 --> 01:24:17.849 That's when I became aware of the results of the massacre. 62200

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