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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,182 --> 00:00:01,181 ANDRE: No, no, no, you're gonna love this place. 2 00:00:01,267 --> 00:00:04,064 It's not Brazilian, it's Portuguese. 3 00:00:04,184 --> 00:00:05,183 What's the difference? 4 00:00:05,235 --> 00:00:06,518 There's no cassava. 5 00:00:06,603 --> 00:00:08,353 Guys, you're gonna love it. All right... 6 00:00:08,405 --> 00:00:09,604 (clearing his throat) I'm... 7 00:00:09,690 --> 00:00:12,074 I believe I have the 6:30 to 7:30 shift. 8 00:00:12,159 --> 00:00:14,526 You do. Andre, it's time to go. 9 00:00:14,578 --> 00:00:16,361 Have you guys met? Pete, this is Andre. 10 00:00:16,447 --> 00:00:18,624 He's putting his weird little wizzle into your ex-wife. 11 00:00:18,700 --> 00:00:19,815 You know what? It's fine. 12 00:00:19,901 --> 00:00:21,784 I'm gonna leave. I have a date anyway with... 13 00:00:21,819 --> 00:00:23,452 Uh-uh, dah, dah, dah. Well, can I at least just tell you 14 00:00:23,488 --> 00:00:24,904 that it's a pop-up restaurant celebrating cumin? 15 00:00:24,989 --> 00:00:26,289 No. No, no, you cannot. Okay, well, it is. 16 00:00:26,324 --> 00:00:27,290 Thank you. 17 00:00:27,325 --> 00:00:28,658 Can we please make sure 18 00:00:28,743 --> 00:00:30,584 that person is gone before I arrive? Thank you. 19 00:00:30,662 --> 00:00:32,161 I will try, but, I mean, it's August. 20 00:00:32,246 --> 00:00:34,080 How long is this thing gonna go on for? 21 00:00:34,165 --> 00:00:35,631 Pete, Ndamukong Suh is on the Dolphins. 22 00:00:35,667 --> 00:00:37,166 Jimmy Graham is on the Seahawks. 23 00:00:37,251 --> 00:00:40,169 Meegan is on the Andres. Don't want to hear it. 24 00:00:40,254 --> 00:00:42,305 Maybe you're just upset that she's upgraded at the position. 25 00:00:42,340 --> 00:00:44,223 No, I'm upset because this whole thing makes me look bad, okay? 26 00:00:44,309 --> 00:00:46,008 Years ago, 27 00:00:46,060 --> 00:00:48,594 I climbed Mount Meegan when that meant something. 28 00:00:48,680 --> 00:00:50,980 But now, apparently, anyone with an Ed Hardy parka 29 00:00:51,015 --> 00:00:54,684 and, like, DeLe?n Tequila carabiners can just mount her? 30 00:00:54,769 --> 00:00:57,737 Well, maybe it's just that you and Andre are Meegan's type. 31 00:00:57,822 --> 00:00:59,855 That's my problem. Her being interested in him 32 00:00:59,907 --> 00:01:01,941 makes me retroactively douchey. 33 00:01:02,026 --> 00:01:03,693 No. No. No. Peter, you are actively douchey. 34 00:01:03,745 --> 00:01:05,094 Yeah, proactively. 35 00:01:05,214 --> 00:01:10,748 Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 36 00:01:10,868 --> 00:01:12,785 Coming in hot. Gorgeous. 37 00:01:12,870 --> 00:01:14,203 KEVIN: All right, now that we got food, 38 00:01:14,255 --> 00:01:16,293 it is time to pick the draft order. 39 00:01:16,413 --> 00:01:19,091 Let's do this! Hey, Russell, how you been, man? 40 00:01:19,177 --> 00:01:20,710 How's that sex addiction treating you? 41 00:01:20,795 --> 00:01:22,011 Just trying to take it one day at a time, 42 00:01:22,046 --> 00:01:23,295 which is all I can do. 43 00:01:23,381 --> 00:01:24,880 That and, of course, stay away 44 00:01:24,932 --> 00:01:27,183 from cheese, especially Manchego, that... temptress. 45 00:01:27,218 --> 00:01:28,968 KEVIN: Let's get back 46 00:01:29,053 --> 00:01:30,186 to the draft order, please. 47 00:01:30,221 --> 00:01:32,521 Your champion... has arrived! 48 00:01:32,557 --> 00:01:34,140 Please put away that unsightly helmet. 49 00:01:34,225 --> 00:01:35,641 This year, we'll be 50 00:01:35,727 --> 00:01:37,610 choosing our order from one of my 51 00:01:37,695 --> 00:01:39,028 lucky fedoras. 52 00:01:39,063 --> 00:01:40,503 Kevin, tell Andre we don't need a hat 53 00:01:40,565 --> 00:01:41,647 and that I will be drafting first 54 00:01:41,733 --> 00:01:43,065 because you all lied to me. 55 00:01:43,151 --> 00:01:44,567 ANDRE: Kevin, can you please tell Peter 56 00:01:44,619 --> 00:01:46,786 that I did not lie to him about my relationship with Meegan. 57 00:01:46,871 --> 00:01:50,039 And my relationship has nothing to do with our draft order. 58 00:01:50,074 --> 00:01:51,675 Ruxin, would you ask Andre to forgive me? 59 00:01:51,709 --> 00:01:54,229 I have a hard time trusting him when he put a knife in my heart. 60 00:01:54,245 --> 00:01:55,494 Andre, Pete says 61 00:01:55,580 --> 00:01:57,046 that that sweatshirt vest makes you look 62 00:01:57,081 --> 00:01:58,247 like a moderately successful 63 00:01:58,299 --> 00:01:59,749 Vine star. 64 00:01:59,801 --> 00:02:01,250 Ruxin, please tell Peter 65 00:02:01,302 --> 00:02:03,302 that a moderately successful Vine star is still a force 66 00:02:03,388 --> 00:02:05,588 to be reckoned with in this new social media world. 67 00:02:05,640 --> 00:02:07,139 No. Okay, Jenny, will you explain the...? 68 00:02:07,225 --> 00:02:08,557 No. Kev... 69 00:02:08,593 --> 00:02:09,514 What do you think, bro? 70 00:02:09,560 --> 00:02:10,476 Okay, how about this? 71 00:02:10,561 --> 00:02:11,727 Will you sing a battle rap? 72 00:02:11,763 --> 00:02:13,095 You're smarter than that, Andre. 73 00:02:13,181 --> 00:02:14,647 Put your phone away. It'll be like you're in 8 Mile. 74 00:02:14,732 --> 00:02:16,649 Hey, guys. PETE: Thank you, Taco. 75 00:02:16,734 --> 00:02:18,734 I appreciate it very much. 76 00:02:18,770 --> 00:02:20,403 Andre, can you tell Pete that choosing 77 00:02:20,438 --> 00:02:21,687 him over Andre was a no-brainer? 78 00:02:21,773 --> 00:02:23,906 Works for me. 79 00:02:23,941 --> 00:02:25,908 KEVIN: This year I want to propose a few 80 00:02:25,943 --> 00:02:28,360 rule changes. We talked about doing an auction-style draft. 81 00:02:28,446 --> 00:02:30,279 Correct? Everyone's into that? ALL: Yes. 82 00:02:30,364 --> 00:02:31,280 PETE: Yeah, let's do it. Yeah. Good. 83 00:02:31,332 --> 00:02:32,782 And the draft is September 5. 84 00:02:32,867 --> 00:02:34,387 Mark your calendars, because this year, 85 00:02:34,419 --> 00:02:36,452 we're going back 86 00:02:36,504 --> 00:02:39,288 in time to the 1890s to 87 00:02:39,373 --> 00:02:40,923 the Gilded Age! 88 00:02:40,958 --> 00:02:42,007 Ugh. Ugh. No. 89 00:02:42,093 --> 00:02:43,375 Theme draft? 90 00:02:43,461 --> 00:02:46,462 And everyone must come in appropriate attire. 91 00:02:46,547 --> 00:02:47,763 No. Costumes? 92 00:02:47,799 --> 00:02:49,965 I love the '90s. I'm gonna go as Kurt Cobain. 93 00:02:50,051 --> 00:02:52,134 No, no. 1890s. 94 00:02:52,220 --> 00:02:53,886 You know, the draft is my favorite day of the year, 95 00:02:53,971 --> 00:02:55,387 and now I don't even want to attend. 96 00:02:55,473 --> 00:02:56,889 Ruxin, would you please tell Andre 97 00:02:56,974 --> 00:02:58,474 he's the Grinch of fantasy football? 98 00:02:58,526 --> 00:03:00,142 Andre, Pete says that you are 99 00:03:00,228 --> 00:03:03,646 the metrosexual plastic surgeon who stole draft day. 100 00:03:03,731 --> 00:03:06,031 I assume you all will be there, though. Oh, no. 101 00:03:06,117 --> 00:03:07,867 I'm gonna have to do it over speakerphone. 102 00:03:07,952 --> 00:03:09,485 I would love to spend 15 rounds with you guys 103 00:03:09,537 --> 00:03:12,121 in period costumes, but I'm supposed to go 104 00:03:12,156 --> 00:03:13,957 to Wisconsin that weekend to see some friends. 105 00:03:13,958 --> 00:03:16,459 Wisconsin? A lot of cheese there, huh? 106 00:03:16,494 --> 00:03:18,494 Is there? I-I wouldn't know. 107 00:03:18,579 --> 00:03:19,745 There's a whole week there 108 00:03:19,831 --> 00:03:21,881 called Cheese-a-Palooza, I believe. 109 00:03:21,966 --> 00:03:23,549 Is that a real event? Because no one told me about that. 110 00:03:23,634 --> 00:03:25,000 TACO: I don't understand. 111 00:03:25,086 --> 00:03:27,169 You specifically told me you were going tor Cheese-a-Palooza. 112 00:03:27,255 --> 00:03:29,338 (whispering): Shut your mouth, Taco. 113 00:03:31,559 --> 00:03:33,259 PETE: This whole thing makes no sense. 114 00:03:33,344 --> 00:03:34,810 How is she with him? 115 00:03:34,846 --> 00:03:37,012 How does she not know the Andre we know? 116 00:03:37,064 --> 00:03:38,848 The same one who video blogs about Don Henley and magic... 117 00:03:38,900 --> 00:03:41,183 Oh. ...and gets his arm stuck in toilets and 118 00:03:41,269 --> 00:03:43,149 ends up in an abusive relationship with his cat. 119 00:03:43,154 --> 00:03:44,603 Don't worry about it. She's gonna find all that out. 120 00:03:44,689 --> 00:03:46,021 I'm... Well, I... Gentlemen, 121 00:03:46,073 --> 00:03:48,324 as you know, I've been incubating my next big idea 122 00:03:48,359 --> 00:03:49,525 in my Taco Tank. 123 00:03:49,610 --> 00:03:51,443 You mean hot boxing in a storage container? 124 00:03:51,529 --> 00:03:53,162 After careful study of eating, 125 00:03:53,197 --> 00:03:56,365 Taco Tank has discovered that over the past few centuries, 126 00:03:56,417 --> 00:03:59,034 there have been many advances in food technology. 127 00:03:59,120 --> 00:04:01,003 However, there have been very few advances 128 00:04:01,038 --> 00:04:03,088 in napkin technology. 129 00:04:03,174 --> 00:04:04,540 Oh, I thought this was gonna be stupid. 130 00:04:04,592 --> 00:04:07,209 Introducing... the napkin glove. 131 00:04:07,295 --> 00:04:08,711 Put it on when you're having a meal. 132 00:04:08,763 --> 00:04:09,929 And what's that? 133 00:04:10,014 --> 00:04:11,547 You got a little spaghetti sauce on your mouth? 134 00:04:11,599 --> 00:04:13,716 No problem. 135 00:04:13,768 --> 00:04:15,885 Tada! All clean. 136 00:04:15,937 --> 00:04:17,720 Pathetic patent pending. But that's not all. 137 00:04:17,772 --> 00:04:21,140 It comes in a variety of styles and colors. 138 00:04:21,225 --> 00:04:23,309 PETE: Great work, Steve No Jobs. 139 00:04:23,394 --> 00:04:24,894 So, Kevin, are you busy tonight? You want to do something? 140 00:04:24,979 --> 00:04:28,614 I can't tonight. I have a school fund-raiser. 141 00:04:28,699 --> 00:04:30,399 ALL: Cheers. 142 00:04:30,451 --> 00:04:32,368 To our first couples dinner. 143 00:04:32,403 --> 00:04:34,703 ALL: Cheers. Cheers, everybody. 144 00:04:34,739 --> 00:04:36,488 Amazing. I think I have to do a toast to our first toast. 145 00:04:36,574 --> 00:04:38,541 Yeah, I can do... toast to our first toast. 146 00:04:38,576 --> 00:04:40,125 Cheers! ALL: Cheers. 147 00:04:40,211 --> 00:04:42,211 Did you talk to Pete about tonight? 148 00:04:42,246 --> 00:04:43,879 No. This night never happened. 149 00:04:43,915 --> 00:04:45,414 I wish this night never happened. 150 00:04:45,466 --> 00:04:47,426 I told him we were at a parent-teacher conference. 151 00:04:47,468 --> 00:04:49,468 I told him we were at a fund-raiser. Why would you tell him that? 152 00:04:49,554 --> 00:04:51,303 Because I want him to think we have money. 153 00:04:51,389 --> 00:04:53,839 Meegan, it makes me so happy to see you happy. 154 00:04:53,925 --> 00:04:55,140 Yes. Oh, thank you. You know what? 155 00:04:55,226 --> 00:04:56,809 I really am. I am. We just have 156 00:04:56,894 --> 00:04:58,844 so much in common. We both... I know. 157 00:04:58,930 --> 00:05:00,596 ...love costumes. Oh, my gosh. 158 00:05:00,648 --> 00:05:02,648 We love theme nights, and we love... 159 00:05:02,733 --> 00:05:04,400 BOTH: Accents. SOFIA: Oh. 160 00:05:04,435 --> 00:05:06,018 Oh. Oh, we're super good at it. 161 00:05:06,103 --> 00:05:08,437 She puts my Cockney to shame. 162 00:05:08,489 --> 00:05:10,189 It's not the only place she puts it. 163 00:05:10,274 --> 00:05:11,824 Actually, you guys, 164 00:05:11,909 --> 00:05:13,492 the thing that I love most... Mm-hmm. 165 00:05:13,578 --> 00:05:14,827 ...about this guy... 166 00:05:14,912 --> 00:05:16,195 His multiple malpractice suits? 167 00:05:16,280 --> 00:05:17,401 We're both sapiosexual. Yeah. 168 00:05:17,415 --> 00:05:18,530 BOTH: Sapiosexual. 169 00:05:18,616 --> 00:05:20,115 I'm sorry. What's that? 170 00:05:20,201 --> 00:05:21,283 Oh, it's when one partner likes to stick 171 00:05:21,335 --> 00:05:22,495 their finger... No. No, no no. 172 00:05:22,536 --> 00:05:23,953 That's what I thought it was. 173 00:05:24,038 --> 00:05:26,839 Sapiosexual means that the most attractive feature 174 00:05:26,924 --> 00:05:30,259 that we find in each other is our intelligence. 175 00:05:30,294 --> 00:05:33,429 BOTH: Mmm... boom. 176 00:05:33,464 --> 00:05:36,599 Is it possible that she has made Andre more annoying? 177 00:05:36,634 --> 00:05:38,467 I think it is. 178 00:05:38,519 --> 00:05:40,686 Yes. Boom! ANDRE: Hey, guys, guys? 179 00:05:40,771 --> 00:05:43,055 A little fearless feedback-- it's not gonna work. 180 00:05:43,140 --> 00:05:44,690 No. Yeah, not with you two. 181 00:05:44,775 --> 00:05:46,108 What? ANDRE: Yeah. 182 00:05:46,143 --> 00:05:47,943 Bread for the table? Oh. 183 00:05:47,979 --> 00:05:49,778 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 184 00:05:49,814 --> 00:05:51,694 You're never gonna lose weight eating like that. 185 00:05:51,699 --> 00:05:53,032 Ruxin, what's wrong? No bread? 186 00:05:53,117 --> 00:05:55,284 He's just a little gordito. 187 00:05:55,319 --> 00:05:57,236 We can't see his wee-wee. 188 00:05:57,321 --> 00:05:58,654 We can see it. MEEGAN: So, 189 00:05:58,739 --> 00:06:01,073 are you guys excited? Because it's almost draft time! 190 00:06:01,158 --> 00:06:02,458 ANDRE: What, what, what?! 191 00:06:02,493 --> 00:06:05,160 I can't believe that you are into fantasy football now. 192 00:06:05,246 --> 00:06:07,079 So into it. That's crazy. 193 00:06:07,164 --> 00:06:08,714 Sofia, you've got to do it. 194 00:06:08,799 --> 00:06:10,749 Really? Yes. Nah. 195 00:06:10,835 --> 00:06:12,167 Oh, my God, it's so much fun! 196 00:06:12,219 --> 00:06:13,802 What do you think? Nah. 197 00:06:13,838 --> 00:06:15,587 Guys, couples league. (gasps) 198 00:06:15,673 --> 00:06:17,339 Aah. MEEGAN AND ANDRE: Yes! 199 00:06:17,425 --> 00:06:19,174 BOTH: That would be so fun! 200 00:06:19,260 --> 00:06:20,342 Aah! ANDRE: My lady 201 00:06:20,394 --> 00:06:22,011 kills it in fantasy. Oh. 202 00:06:22,096 --> 00:06:23,679 Honey, drop some knowledge on them. 203 00:06:23,764 --> 00:06:26,432 I think that you guys are insane to go running back, 204 00:06:26,517 --> 00:06:27,683 running back with your 205 00:06:27,735 --> 00:06:29,018 first two picks. 206 00:06:29,070 --> 00:06:31,353 What I would suggest doing is going 207 00:06:31,439 --> 00:06:33,355 wide receiver, wide receiver. 208 00:06:33,441 --> 00:06:35,157 Where was that shit seven years ago? 209 00:06:35,192 --> 00:06:36,659 ANDRE: You should check out her mock drafts. 210 00:06:36,694 --> 00:06:38,077 She's killing it. JENNY: You know, Meegan, 211 00:06:38,162 --> 00:06:40,696 Andre was telling us about his plans for the draft. 212 00:06:40,781 --> 00:06:42,781 We didn't realize you two were so into the Gilded Age. 213 00:06:42,867 --> 00:06:44,083 MEEGAN AND ANDRE: Ah. 214 00:06:44,168 --> 00:06:46,201 The Gilded Age. Age. 215 00:06:46,253 --> 00:06:47,786 MEEGAN: We just love it! 216 00:06:47,872 --> 00:06:49,312 Oh, and you know what? Andre has been 217 00:06:49,340 --> 00:06:51,206 studying the ancient art of bartitsu. 218 00:06:51,292 --> 00:06:52,458 ANDRE AND MEEGAN: Bartitsu. 219 00:06:52,543 --> 00:06:54,023 I can't put my finger on the language, 220 00:06:54,045 --> 00:06:56,545 but I believe it means "ultimate sadness." 221 00:06:56,630 --> 00:06:58,547 More like "ultimate gentlemen fighting." 222 00:06:58,632 --> 00:07:01,100 See, it's the Victorian art of self-defense. 223 00:07:01,185 --> 00:07:03,519 And a true gentlemen must be able to defend himself 224 00:07:03,554 --> 00:07:06,055 only with the items on his person. 225 00:07:06,107 --> 00:07:07,606 Be they... A cane. 226 00:07:07,692 --> 00:07:09,058 Be they... A parasol. 227 00:07:09,110 --> 00:07:10,943 Be they... A snuffbox. (sniffs) 228 00:07:11,028 --> 00:07:12,027 So it's like kung fool. 229 00:07:12,063 --> 00:07:13,729 Or tae kwon douche. 230 00:07:13,814 --> 00:07:16,031 Ooh, dinner is served. A toast to our first dinn... 231 00:07:16,067 --> 00:07:18,233 Oh. No. No, no. No, no. 232 00:07:18,319 --> 00:07:19,985 Fresh ground pepper, sir? 233 00:07:20,071 --> 00:07:22,621 Uh, yes, please. Say when. 234 00:07:22,707 --> 00:07:24,990 You know what? Why don't you just leave it here? 235 00:07:25,076 --> 00:07:26,241 I can't do that, sir, but I'd be happy 236 00:07:26,293 --> 00:07:27,409 to give you as much as you'd like. 237 00:07:27,495 --> 00:07:28,911 Well, I might want more later, 238 00:07:28,996 --> 00:07:31,080 so how about you just leave the grinder on the table, 239 00:07:31,165 --> 00:07:32,631 and I'll just use it at my whim? 240 00:07:32,717 --> 00:07:34,216 Oh, if you want more pepper later, you can use 241 00:07:34,251 --> 00:07:35,751 the pepper that's on the table. That's what it's there for. 242 00:07:35,803 --> 00:07:37,970 That's the trash pepper, and that's why it's on the table. 243 00:07:38,055 --> 00:07:39,421 You got the good stuff, and I want to be 244 00:07:39,473 --> 00:07:40,639 in control of the good stuff. 245 00:07:40,725 --> 00:07:42,508 Well, I can't leave it here. I'm sorry. 246 00:07:42,593 --> 00:07:44,593 Honey, I think you've had enough pepper. Quiet. 247 00:07:44,678 --> 00:07:46,929 I see that waitress right there. She's grating cheese. 248 00:07:47,014 --> 00:07:48,263 Am I gonna have to go through the same rigmarole 249 00:07:48,349 --> 00:07:49,765 when I want some cheese? 250 00:07:49,817 --> 00:07:51,100 With all due respect, sir, 251 00:07:51,185 --> 00:07:53,185 going to a restaurant is itself a rigmarole. 252 00:07:53,270 --> 00:07:55,310 If you don't want the pomp and circumstance of being 253 00:07:55,322 --> 00:07:57,072 served by professional wait staff, you can go home 254 00:07:57,108 --> 00:07:59,408 and eat cat food over the toilet for all I care, 255 00:07:59,443 --> 00:08:01,323 but while you're here, I will grind your pepper. 256 00:08:02,530 --> 00:08:04,613 You know what, I've overreacted. 257 00:08:04,665 --> 00:08:07,449 You're the king of the grinder. 258 00:08:07,501 --> 00:08:08,784 I'd like a little more, please. 259 00:08:08,869 --> 00:08:10,119 Say when, sir. 260 00:08:12,123 --> 00:08:13,705 No! 261 00:08:13,791 --> 00:08:15,632 I say when. I say when. I say when. I say when. 262 00:08:15,709 --> 00:08:17,843 I say when! I say when! I say when! I say when! 263 00:08:20,464 --> 00:08:22,297 (exhales) 264 00:08:25,778 --> 00:08:28,571 Would anyone else like any fresh ground pepper on their entree? 265 00:08:28,795 --> 00:08:30,353 No. 266 00:08:31,183 --> 00:08:32,432 That waiter was a psychopath, the way Oh, my God. 267 00:08:32,517 --> 00:08:34,363 he kept staring at us all night. 268 00:08:34,483 --> 00:08:36,316 I wanted pepper on everything, 269 00:08:36,368 --> 00:08:38,044 and I was too afraid to ask him for... 270 00:08:38,164 --> 00:08:39,539 Oh, my God! Me, too. Oh, my God! 271 00:08:39,863 --> 00:08:42,893 Sorry to scare you. It's just me, the seventh wheel. 272 00:08:43,013 --> 00:08:45,582 Pete... No... No, Pete. 273 00:08:45,702 --> 00:08:47,118 That's not true. No? No. 274 00:08:47,203 --> 00:08:48,119 Where you been? 275 00:08:48,204 --> 00:08:49,537 We were... we were on a date. 276 00:08:49,589 --> 00:08:50,872 We were dating. 277 00:08:50,924 --> 00:08:52,290 Oh, really? 'Cause I thought it was... 278 00:08:52,375 --> 00:08:53,374 a parent-teacher conference. 279 00:08:53,426 --> 00:08:55,510 Or maybe a fund-raiser. 280 00:08:55,545 --> 00:08:57,211 I mean, come on, Kevin, you don't have that kind of money. 281 00:08:57,263 --> 00:08:59,514 How could you go to dinner with them? 282 00:08:59,549 --> 00:09:01,349 What's your excuse? Let me hear it. It better be good. 283 00:09:01,384 --> 00:09:03,718 Well, they invited us. I was just hungry. 284 00:09:03,803 --> 00:09:05,853 You just bought yourselves two one-way tickets off Team Pete. 285 00:09:05,889 --> 00:09:07,055 Now go to your room. 286 00:09:07,107 --> 00:09:09,607 What? What, you're just gonna hang out here? 287 00:09:09,693 --> 00:09:11,059 Well, SportCenter's on. He said go 288 00:09:11,144 --> 00:09:11,859 to your room! Oh, my God! 289 00:09:11,895 --> 00:09:12,944 And when Tall Guy says, 290 00:09:13,029 --> 00:09:13,861 "Go to your room," you go to your room. 291 00:09:13,897 --> 00:09:15,029 You're in trouble. 292 00:09:15,065 --> 00:09:16,197 What are you doing here, Rafi? 293 00:09:16,232 --> 00:09:17,482 Um, just hanging out 294 00:09:17,567 --> 00:09:19,534 behind the couch, like normal. 295 00:09:19,569 --> 00:09:22,870 But I'm also mad, because I wasn't invited to dinner either. 296 00:09:22,906 --> 00:09:24,572 Rafi, it was a couples dinner. 297 00:09:24,657 --> 00:09:26,290 So? I could've brought my very serious girlfriend. 298 00:09:26,376 --> 00:09:27,325 What? Who? 299 00:09:27,410 --> 00:09:29,243 Have you guys not met Margaret? 300 00:09:29,295 --> 00:09:30,328 Oh, my God. 301 00:09:30,413 --> 00:09:32,246 It's very serious. 302 00:09:32,298 --> 00:09:34,248 But is it consensual? 303 00:09:34,334 --> 00:09:35,833 This was. 304 00:09:35,919 --> 00:09:38,052 This wasn't. PETE: Oh, God. 305 00:09:38,088 --> 00:09:39,971 Okay. Let's go to bed. You know what, let's all go to bed. 306 00:09:40,056 --> 00:09:40,886 All go in the room. 307 00:09:41,006 --> 00:09:42,630 We talked about it afterwards, and she said it felt good. 308 00:09:43,059 --> 00:09:46,427 They loved you. 309 00:09:49,265 --> 00:09:50,431 Ooh. 310 00:09:53,403 --> 00:09:56,437 "Andre and Meegan invite you to the Draft of Innocence"? 311 00:09:56,523 --> 00:09:59,190 "Prepare yourself for an Oscar Wilde night. 312 00:09:59,275 --> 00:10:02,110 Please RSVP for you and your guest"? 313 00:10:02,162 --> 00:10:04,028 A plus-one? 314 00:10:04,114 --> 00:10:05,830 I got to bring Sofia? 315 00:10:05,915 --> 00:10:10,001 Andre, you rancid ass cookie. 316 00:10:10,086 --> 00:10:12,003 SOFIA: During the draft, 317 00:10:12,088 --> 00:10:13,671 you have to make sure that you take the time 318 00:10:13,757 --> 00:10:15,790 to explain everything to me. Uh-huh. 319 00:10:15,842 --> 00:10:18,176 'Cause I really want to help. I really want to participate. 320 00:10:18,261 --> 00:10:20,044 And you've done, like, a little bit of research? 321 00:10:20,130 --> 00:10:22,930 No, I haven't done research. It's just a football draft. 322 00:10:22,966 --> 00:10:23,926 (chuckles) You do a pick, 323 00:10:23,933 --> 00:10:25,967 then I do a pick. 324 00:10:26,019 --> 00:10:28,803 So you want to alternate picks. Yeah. Also, you have to promise me 325 00:10:28,888 --> 00:10:30,605 that if I get bored in the middle of it or if I don't like 326 00:10:30,640 --> 00:10:33,808 the food or something like that, that we can just go to dinner. 327 00:10:33,860 --> 00:10:35,476 So you want to leave in the middle of the draft. 328 00:10:35,562 --> 00:10:38,062 Yeah. Your friends can do that picky thing for you. 329 00:10:38,148 --> 00:10:40,064 And who would you suggest would pick my team? 330 00:10:40,150 --> 00:10:43,117 Oh. You get Andre to do it. He loves you, and he's the champ. 331 00:10:43,153 --> 00:10:45,486 I'm gonna get dressed. It's gonna be fun. 332 00:10:45,572 --> 00:10:47,155 And we're gonna be a little late. What? 333 00:10:47,207 --> 00:10:47,955 (phone rings) Yeah. If we miss the first three rounds, 334 00:10:47,991 --> 00:10:49,323 there's still 12 left. 335 00:10:49,409 --> 00:10:51,826 Hola, Mami. ?C?mo est?? 336 00:10:51,911 --> 00:10:53,294 Yeah, 'cause there are no important picks 337 00:10:53,329 --> 00:10:55,463 in the first three rounds. (sobbing) 338 00:10:57,133 --> 00:10:59,417 I need my stress meds. 339 00:10:59,502 --> 00:11:02,920 Mmm. Mmm. 340 00:11:03,006 --> 00:11:05,473 Mmm. Mmm. Hmm? No! Papi! 341 00:11:05,508 --> 00:11:07,675 (spitting) 342 00:11:09,062 --> 00:11:11,679 My papi. My papi had a stroke. 343 00:11:11,764 --> 00:11:13,014 What? Oh. He's in the hospital. Mami wants me 344 00:11:13,099 --> 00:11:15,066 to go to Puerto Rico right now with Geoffrey. 345 00:11:15,151 --> 00:11:18,352 So does that mean that you're gonna miss the draft? 346 00:11:18,404 --> 00:11:21,489 Papi's in the hospital! I'm gonna have to do all the picks on my own? 347 00:11:21,524 --> 00:11:24,442 (sobbing): Oh, God! (crying) 348 00:11:24,527 --> 00:11:26,410 (whispers): Thank you. 349 00:11:26,496 --> 00:11:28,946 Okay, well, let's get you packed, have some good-bye sex, 350 00:11:29,032 --> 00:11:30,865 and go to the airport. 351 00:11:30,917 --> 00:11:33,000 Let's not worry about whether you finish or not. 352 00:11:33,036 --> 00:11:35,770 You have so much on your mind. 353 00:11:38,840 --> 00:11:41,173 (old-timey music playing) 354 00:11:42,477 --> 00:11:44,010 MEEGAN AND ANDRE: Welcome 355 00:11:44,095 --> 00:11:45,583 to the Draft of Innocence. 356 00:11:45,709 --> 00:11:48,043 There'll be romance... Intrigue... 357 00:11:48,128 --> 00:11:50,512 And old-timey drinks. Old-timey drinks. 358 00:11:50,547 --> 00:11:52,214 Andre, you couldn't rent out the whole place? 359 00:11:52,299 --> 00:11:54,383 I ran into someone I work with at the valet. Taco, 360 00:11:54,435 --> 00:11:55,884 did you perm your hair? 361 00:11:55,936 --> 00:11:58,177 Andre had his hair guy sent to my apartment this morning. 362 00:11:58,222 --> 00:11:59,638 What? Why do you have a hair guy? 363 00:11:59,723 --> 00:12:00,972 I love Boris. Oh, gosh. 364 00:12:01,058 --> 00:12:03,725 And your costume is amazing. 365 00:12:03,811 --> 00:12:06,278 There's no zipper in the pants. So I just go, right? 366 00:12:06,363 --> 00:12:07,896 No, Taco, we have to return them. 367 00:12:07,981 --> 00:12:10,615 Oh. Well, I'd return 'em in a plastic bag. Okay. Well, 368 00:12:10,701 --> 00:12:12,401 there's Sazerac in the lounge. 369 00:12:12,453 --> 00:12:13,339 Enjoy yourself. 370 00:12:13,451 --> 00:12:15,001 Later I'm gonna clean your urethra with this thing. 371 00:12:15,086 --> 00:12:16,202 Say it in a Cockney accent. 372 00:12:16,287 --> 00:12:17,620 MEEGAN: Pete! 373 00:12:17,672 --> 00:12:19,789 Hi! Welcome. Hello. 374 00:12:19,841 --> 00:12:22,091 Listen, guys, I want to apologize 375 00:12:22,126 --> 00:12:24,043 for how off I've been these past few months. I mean, 376 00:12:24,128 --> 00:12:26,262 it's been a lot for me to digest, 377 00:12:26,297 --> 00:12:29,181 and I just want to say I wish you guys the best. 378 00:12:29,267 --> 00:12:31,767 Thank you. That's so great. Oh. 379 00:12:31,803 --> 00:12:34,604 Okay. Oh, cane, cane, cane! Get in here. Get in here. Get in here. 380 00:12:34,639 --> 00:12:36,639 Andre, cane, cane. Okay, okay. All right. 381 00:12:36,724 --> 00:12:40,643 - Anyhow, the way I see it is, this is a draft. Let's have fun. - Exactly. 382 00:12:40,695 --> 00:12:43,646 - So much fun. - All right, guys, see you inside. Oh, yeah, no, uh, one thing. 383 00:12:43,698 --> 00:12:45,615 The invite had a plus-one, so... Yes. 384 00:12:45,650 --> 00:12:47,366 I brought a date, if that's okay. 385 00:12:47,452 --> 00:12:49,652 That's fantastic. Love it. 386 00:12:49,737 --> 00:12:52,321 Ah! What's up, dildos?! (chuckles) 387 00:12:52,407 --> 00:12:53,873 Rafi. What? 388 00:12:53,958 --> 00:12:55,124 Who are you? 389 00:12:55,159 --> 00:12:56,375 Uh, that's actually my girlfriend. 390 00:12:56,461 --> 00:12:58,141 For the evening, right? How much you paying 391 00:12:58,162 --> 00:13:00,246 for this experience? I'm not paying for any of it. 392 00:13:00,331 --> 00:13:02,381 What? No. My name is Meegan. 393 00:13:02,467 --> 00:13:04,050 Hello, Meegan. 394 00:13:04,135 --> 00:13:05,217 Me Rafi. 395 00:13:05,303 --> 00:13:06,419 (chuckles) (chuckles) 396 00:13:06,504 --> 00:13:08,304 Tell you what, why don't we go get some food. 397 00:13:08,339 --> 00:13:09,982 What were you saying about those oysters on the way over? 398 00:13:10,102 --> 00:13:10,855 Ooh, I love oysters. 399 00:13:10,975 --> 00:13:12,675 'Cause it's like little salty pussies on a shell. 400 00:13:12,727 --> 00:13:13,643 PETE: Mmm. 401 00:13:13,678 --> 00:13:15,678 (licking sounds) 402 00:13:15,763 --> 00:13:18,347 Just pick 'em up and I, like, get in there, like, mmm. 403 00:13:18,399 --> 00:13:21,183 Mmm. But I don't eat 'em. 'Cause they're gross. 404 00:13:21,235 --> 00:13:22,267 So I put 'em back. 405 00:13:22,387 --> 00:13:24,004 Okay. You know what, why don't you go into the sitting room. 406 00:13:24,124 --> 00:13:25,237 Get-get into the sitting room. Get to it, buddy. 407 00:13:25,323 --> 00:13:27,106 All right. I'll talk to you later. 408 00:13:27,191 --> 00:13:29,859 Thanks for inviting me, bro. Hey, who wants to fight?! 409 00:13:29,911 --> 00:13:32,862 I know that you think this is a hilarious prank, but it's not. 410 00:13:32,947 --> 00:13:34,613 It's gonna backfire right in your face. 411 00:13:34,699 --> 00:13:35,865 I don't have a problem with your date. 412 00:13:35,917 --> 00:13:36,999 You shouldn't have a problem with mine. 413 00:13:37,035 --> 00:13:38,067 Mmm. Enjoy. 414 00:13:38,136 --> 00:13:39,268 Mmm. 415 00:13:39,337 --> 00:13:42,421 416 00:13:42,507 --> 00:13:43,673 Hey, guys. JENNY: Ruxin, 417 00:13:43,708 --> 00:13:45,758 I'm so sorry about your father-in-law. 418 00:13:45,843 --> 00:13:47,927 Yeah, he gave us a real scare. 419 00:13:48,012 --> 00:13:49,378 Thought I was gonna have to draft with my wife here. 420 00:13:49,464 --> 00:13:50,429 (chuckles) 421 00:13:50,515 --> 00:13:51,630 Send Sofia our best. Yeah. 422 00:13:51,716 --> 00:13:53,966 We all cope in our own way. 423 00:13:54,052 --> 00:13:56,052 All right, it's time to draft. 424 00:13:56,137 --> 00:13:56,936 Russell's gonna be on speakerphone, 425 00:13:57,021 --> 00:13:58,604 but I have not heard from Chuck. 426 00:13:58,690 --> 00:14:01,140 Actually, he just sent a video. Check it out. 427 00:14:01,225 --> 00:14:02,975 Hey, guys. So sorry 428 00:14:03,061 --> 00:14:04,610 but I'm gonna have to bow out of the draft. 429 00:14:04,696 --> 00:14:08,230 As you can see, I'm dealing with some other issues. 430 00:14:08,282 --> 00:14:09,615 What? Oh, no. 431 00:14:09,701 --> 00:14:10,900 I like the hat. Yeah, I, uh, 432 00:14:10,985 --> 00:14:13,202 felt a sharp pain every time I sat in gum. 433 00:14:13,237 --> 00:14:15,654 Doctors found a lump in my gum. Turns out I have cancer 434 00:14:15,740 --> 00:14:20,543 of the gum. Uh, the doctors have given my gum six months to live. 435 00:14:20,578 --> 00:14:21,744 He's gonna lose his gum. 436 00:14:21,796 --> 00:14:23,079 Yeah, pack'll be empty. 437 00:14:23,131 --> 00:14:24,246 I am bored. So I'm gonna, 438 00:14:24,332 --> 00:14:25,965 you know, take that gum everywhere. 439 00:14:26,050 --> 00:14:28,084 (chuckles) You know, I'm gonna sit in the-the pyramids, 440 00:14:28,169 --> 00:14:30,836 the Great Wall of China, and, you know, God willing, 441 00:14:30,922 --> 00:14:32,304 Ruxin's sweet, sweet head 442 00:14:32,390 --> 00:14:34,590 one last time. It's his Make-A-Wish. 443 00:14:34,642 --> 00:14:35,674 Go and make that happen, Ruxin. 444 00:14:35,760 --> 00:14:36,809 Enjoy the draft. 445 00:14:36,894 --> 00:14:39,011 Sit in some for me, huh? 446 00:14:39,097 --> 00:14:41,313 That is the most depressing final wish I've ever heard. 447 00:14:41,399 --> 00:14:42,932 Where we gonna find an eighth team now? 448 00:14:42,984 --> 00:14:44,066 Fine, I'll join. JENNY: What? 449 00:14:44,102 --> 00:14:46,402 We don't have time to find an eighth guy. 450 00:14:46,437 --> 00:14:48,320 Here's a thought. What if we make it completely random, 451 00:14:48,406 --> 00:14:50,439 like, we just flip a coin for each decision? 452 00:14:50,525 --> 00:14:53,943 We could call it the Coin, and we see if we can beat Random. 453 00:14:53,995 --> 00:14:56,245 Any questions we have for that team, we just flip the Coin. 454 00:14:56,280 --> 00:14:57,113 It's the Coin, yeah. Great. 455 00:14:57,198 --> 00:15:00,282 Or we can get a wolf. 456 00:15:00,368 --> 00:15:02,034 (bell tinkles) Dinner is served. 457 00:15:03,788 --> 00:15:05,504 Does the napkin glove go to the left or the right 458 00:15:05,590 --> 00:15:06,789 of the fish knife? 459 00:15:06,841 --> 00:15:08,340 Taco, no. 460 00:15:08,426 --> 00:15:11,460 As we draft, we dine. 461 00:15:11,512 --> 00:15:14,213 Great. Let's go. Time to eat. 462 00:15:14,298 --> 00:15:15,681 (indistinct chatter) 463 00:15:15,767 --> 00:15:16,799 It's not a buffet. 464 00:15:16,884 --> 00:15:18,801 It's assigned seating, actually. 465 00:15:18,853 --> 00:15:20,302 Ruxin, that butter is for the entire table. 466 00:15:20,354 --> 00:15:22,304 You can't take the whole bottle of wine. 467 00:15:22,356 --> 00:15:23,973 Did everyone get a napkin glove? 468 00:15:24,058 --> 00:15:26,392 What's going on, Raf? No food. Everything here 469 00:15:26,477 --> 00:15:29,145 looks like shit. Plus, I bring my own food, bro. 470 00:15:29,230 --> 00:15:30,196 Oh, pocket dog. That's right. 471 00:15:30,281 --> 00:15:31,730 No, this is a crotch-et dog. 472 00:15:31,816 --> 00:15:34,450 Oh, got it. I keep it in my crotch so it stays hot. 473 00:15:34,519 --> 00:15:37,453 474 00:15:37,488 --> 00:15:41,657 Now, I have only one thing to say to you. 475 00:15:41,742 --> 00:15:44,160 (speaking indistinctly) 476 00:15:44,212 --> 00:15:45,327 What? Huh? 477 00:15:45,413 --> 00:15:46,078 I'm sorry, who? 478 00:15:46,164 --> 00:15:48,247 (speaking indistinctly) 479 00:15:48,332 --> 00:15:49,331 Can't understand you. RUXIN: Can't understand you. 480 00:15:49,417 --> 00:15:51,300 Le'Veon Bell, Le'Veon Bell. 481 00:15:51,335 --> 00:15:52,968 Five dollars. Five dollars, okay, do I see ten? 482 00:15:53,004 --> 00:15:54,503 Ten. Ten. Do I see 15? 483 00:15:54,589 --> 00:15:56,088 15. Do I see 20? 20. 484 00:15:56,174 --> 00:15:57,473 I see 20, do I see 25? 25. 485 00:15:57,508 --> 00:15:58,674 I see 25, do I see 30? 486 00:15:58,726 --> 00:15:59,842 KEVIN: $35. $35. 487 00:15:59,927 --> 00:16:01,093 Do I see 40? 40. 488 00:16:01,179 --> 00:16:02,845 $40. Do I see 45? 489 00:16:02,897 --> 00:16:03,929 A dollar. A dollar. 490 00:16:04,015 --> 00:16:06,649 Taco, this is not how it works. 491 00:16:06,684 --> 00:16:08,067 Sorry. What is a dollar? 492 00:16:08,152 --> 00:16:09,935 45. 47. 493 00:16:10,021 --> 00:16:11,604 47. Do I see 50? 494 00:16:12,940 --> 00:16:16,408 Sold to Pete Eckhart! 495 00:16:16,494 --> 00:16:20,029 And now may my sticker maiden place the name on the board. 496 00:16:20,114 --> 00:16:22,364 Jamaal Charles. I got my Gronk. 497 00:16:22,450 --> 00:16:24,500 My Gronki-Gronk. LeShaun McCoy, sold 498 00:16:24,535 --> 00:16:26,035 to the Shit Pail! 499 00:16:26,087 --> 00:16:29,121 Oh, yeah! Suck it! 500 00:16:29,207 --> 00:16:30,673 Oh, my God. JENNY: Ugh. 501 00:16:30,708 --> 00:16:32,424 We got Amari Cooper. 502 00:16:32,510 --> 00:16:33,876 Nice pick. 503 00:16:33,961 --> 00:16:35,628 Yeah, great pick. Oh! 504 00:16:35,713 --> 00:16:38,130 Both really know how to find that hole. Point of order-- 505 00:16:38,216 --> 00:16:40,099 when are we gonna stop doing just football players, 506 00:16:40,184 --> 00:16:41,383 right? Like, w... I need 507 00:16:41,469 --> 00:16:42,801 a Filipino housemaid and I need 508 00:16:42,887 --> 00:16:44,770 a little Thai he-she kid for sex. 509 00:16:44,856 --> 00:16:45,888 It's not that kind of auction. 510 00:16:45,973 --> 00:16:47,139 It's not? This looks like 511 00:16:47,225 --> 00:16:48,891 a bunch of white people bidding on minorities, 512 00:16:48,976 --> 00:16:51,110 dressed in old-timey clothes. ANDRE: You, well... 513 00:16:51,195 --> 00:16:52,645 This is a slave auction, Andre. No. 514 00:16:52,730 --> 00:16:54,010 We're all cool with that, right? 515 00:16:54,031 --> 00:16:55,197 It's not a slave auction. 516 00:16:55,233 --> 00:16:57,233 But everybody's black on the auction block. 517 00:16:57,285 --> 00:16:58,901 Not everyone is gonna be black. They... 518 00:16:58,986 --> 00:17:00,452 We're gonna get some kickers in here eventually. Have you sold 519 00:17:00,538 --> 00:17:01,904 any white people yet? 520 00:17:01,989 --> 00:17:03,239 We're gonna get to it in the later rounds. 521 00:17:03,291 --> 00:17:05,124 We're... at running backs. 522 00:17:05,209 --> 00:17:06,575 KEVIN: No. No. 523 00:17:06,627 --> 00:17:09,378 I would like to buy a vowel, please-- S. 524 00:17:09,413 --> 00:17:11,997 S? You got to pick a player, Taco. 525 00:17:12,083 --> 00:17:13,632 Fine. Are there any kickers left? 526 00:17:13,718 --> 00:17:15,084 Yeah. All of them. 527 00:17:15,169 --> 00:17:16,719 Okay, I'll take my Eskimo brother 528 00:17:16,754 --> 00:17:18,921 Sebastian Janikowski for one dollar. 529 00:17:19,006 --> 00:17:19,889 That actually makes sense. 530 00:17:19,924 --> 00:17:21,173 Any takers? One dollar. 531 00:17:21,259 --> 00:17:23,309 No one? All right, going once, going twice. 532 00:17:23,394 --> 00:17:24,393 Five dollars. 533 00:17:24,428 --> 00:17:26,428 Five dollars going once, going twice. 534 00:17:26,480 --> 00:17:27,763 Still no one? Ten dollars! 535 00:17:27,815 --> 00:17:29,515 Taco... what are you doing? What are you doing? 536 00:17:29,600 --> 00:17:30,316 $12. 537 00:17:30,401 --> 00:17:31,483 You got this, okay? 538 00:17:31,569 --> 00:17:33,569 Who is $20? 539 00:17:33,604 --> 00:17:35,437 $20 for Sebastian Janikowski, 540 00:17:35,489 --> 00:17:37,823 no other takers on the table... 25. 541 00:17:37,909 --> 00:17:40,609 Why are you doing this? I'd like to phone a friend, please. 542 00:17:40,695 --> 00:17:41,827 You don't need to phone a friend. That's the wrong game. 543 00:17:41,913 --> 00:17:42,912 Who would you phone? 544 00:17:42,947 --> 00:17:44,580 Pete. He's right beside you. 545 00:17:44,615 --> 00:17:45,748 You don't have to use a phone... PETE: Hello? 546 00:17:45,783 --> 00:17:47,866 Hi, Pete. Uh, should I go up? 547 00:17:47,952 --> 00:17:49,668 If you want this player, you got to get him. All right. 548 00:17:49,754 --> 00:17:50,703 Thanks, Pete. 549 00:17:50,788 --> 00:17:53,956 $150, final answer. 550 00:17:54,008 --> 00:17:55,329 Really? We're letting him do this? 551 00:17:55,960 --> 00:17:58,127 Going once, going twice... 552 00:17:58,212 --> 00:17:59,345 Oh, things a Cobb salad would say! 553 00:17:59,430 --> 00:18:01,297 ANDRE: What? I'd like to solve the puzzle. 554 00:18:01,382 --> 00:18:03,299 No, in what context would a Cobb salad 555 00:18:03,351 --> 00:18:05,768 say "going once, going twice"? 556 00:18:05,803 --> 00:18:09,438 Lettuce just say that you are bacon something egg-cellent. 557 00:18:09,473 --> 00:18:11,307 That is something a Cobb salad would say. 558 00:18:11,392 --> 00:18:14,143 Nailed it. How does that feel, you piece of garbage? 559 00:18:14,228 --> 00:18:15,978 Okay, the winner 560 00:18:16,063 --> 00:18:18,731 for Sebastian Janikowski is Taco. 561 00:18:18,816 --> 00:18:19,898 Yeah! 562 00:18:19,984 --> 00:18:21,200 Just a reminder-- 563 00:18:21,285 --> 00:18:23,285 you only have 50 fantasy dollars left. 564 00:18:23,321 --> 00:18:25,371 Oh, that's fine, I'll just borrow some from Kevin. 565 00:18:25,456 --> 00:18:27,239 No. Andre, are you gonna draft anyone? 566 00:18:29,410 --> 00:18:31,493 I just got too caught up in the auctioneering. 567 00:18:31,545 --> 00:18:32,795 We got to start over. 568 00:18:32,830 --> 00:18:34,463 ALL: No. So screwed. 569 00:18:34,498 --> 00:18:36,382 Andre, this draft has blown up in your face 570 00:18:36,467 --> 00:18:39,418 like a firework in Jason Pierre-Paul's hand. 571 00:18:39,503 --> 00:18:40,973 Who's that? He plays for the Giants. 572 00:18:41,093 --> 00:18:41,755 Got it. 573 00:18:45,613 --> 00:18:47,052 Okay. Andre, get out of the way. 574 00:18:47,053 --> 00:18:49,356 I'm gonna show you idiots how it's done. 575 00:18:49,357 --> 00:18:50,491 What is that? 576 00:18:50,492 --> 00:18:51,593 Okay, here we go. 577 00:18:51,594 --> 00:18:52,962 No, no, no, no! (gasps) 578 00:18:52,963 --> 00:18:54,330 Rafi... Next item on the block, 579 00:18:54,331 --> 00:18:56,100 Ming Wu. Oh, my God. The hell 580 00:18:56,101 --> 00:18:58,471 are you doing, man?! Come on, time to go to work, honey, time to go to work. 581 00:18:58,472 --> 00:19:00,107 Let's go. The floor is open. 582 00:19:00,108 --> 00:19:01,142 I'm taking bids. 583 00:19:01,143 --> 00:19:02,945 Ma'am, are you a kicker? She kicks. 584 00:19:02,946 --> 00:19:04,881 Show him how you kick. (speaking foreign language) 585 00:19:04,882 --> 00:19:06,617 We're not auctioning off a woman. Show him a kick. 586 00:19:06,618 --> 00:19:08,287 Why? You auctioned off all these men. 587 00:19:08,288 --> 00:19:09,889 Why can't I auction a woman off? 588 00:19:09,890 --> 00:19:11,492 That is misogyny, 589 00:19:11,493 --> 00:19:13,428 a word I was recently told. 590 00:19:13,429 --> 00:19:16,400 Come on, guys, who's bidding? Let's go, let's go. 591 00:19:16,401 --> 00:19:19,438 (shouting) Oh, do not start with me. 592 00:19:19,439 --> 00:19:21,074 How dare you? 593 00:19:21,075 --> 00:19:22,509 Ma'am, ma'am... 594 00:19:22,510 --> 00:19:23,544 ma'am, I'm sorry, ma'am. 595 00:19:23,545 --> 00:19:25,280 (yells in foreign language) She has 596 00:19:25,281 --> 00:19:26,583 put a curse on all of us. 597 00:19:26,584 --> 00:19:28,552 ANDRE: What the hell was that, Rafi? You know what, 598 00:19:28,553 --> 00:19:31,357 I thought you guys were cool and wanted to have an auction. 599 00:19:31,358 --> 00:19:33,961 Guess not, so suck it. 600 00:19:33,962 --> 00:19:36,398 Okay, can we just finish this? Yes. 601 00:19:36,399 --> 00:19:38,602 Does anyone else have anyone they'd like to auction? 602 00:19:38,603 --> 00:19:41,406 Oh, yeah, I got something. Okay, sure, go ahead. What do you got? 603 00:19:41,407 --> 00:19:42,642 JENNY: Whoa! 604 00:19:42,643 --> 00:19:44,044 Where did you get that? No. 605 00:19:44,045 --> 00:19:46,181 What is your arm doing in a toilet? 606 00:19:46,182 --> 00:19:48,451 I was fishing out a contact lens. Out of a toilet? 607 00:19:48,452 --> 00:19:50,420 It was a hard contact. You look like an extra 608 00:19:50,421 --> 00:19:53,692 from A Different World. We're not offering up personal items. 609 00:19:53,693 --> 00:19:55,896 I'd like to bid ten dollars on that picture, please. 610 00:19:55,897 --> 00:19:57,265 20 to have it framed. 20. 611 00:19:57,266 --> 00:19:58,968 30 to have it destroyed. 30. 612 00:19:58,969 --> 00:20:01,005 40 to make a T-shirt out of it. 50 to make it my team page. 613 00:20:01,006 --> 00:20:02,307 No, no, no! Pete, 614 00:20:02,308 --> 00:20:03,508 I know what you're doing, okay? 615 00:20:03,509 --> 00:20:05,111 And you're wrecking this Draft of Innocence. 616 00:20:05,112 --> 00:20:08,416 Oh, please, Andre, this draft is like the Pro Bowl, okay? 617 00:20:08,417 --> 00:20:10,654 Everybody's here, but frankly it sucks. 618 00:20:10,655 --> 00:20:12,623 You, sir, have besmirched 619 00:20:12,624 --> 00:20:16,295 my honor and the honor of my paramour. 620 00:20:16,296 --> 00:20:18,566 (gasps) Ooh. (Ruxin laughs) 621 00:20:18,567 --> 00:20:21,037 I challenge you to a duel. 622 00:20:22,473 --> 00:20:23,508 Ooh! 623 00:20:24,510 --> 00:20:26,913 No. This is bullshit, 624 00:20:26,914 --> 00:20:29,050 and I'm out of here. Enjoy your new guy. No, 625 00:20:29,051 --> 00:20:31,253 I challenge you to a duel, you can't just walk out. 626 00:20:31,254 --> 00:20:33,056 Pete, it's a duel! 627 00:20:33,057 --> 00:20:34,458 Pete. 628 00:20:34,459 --> 00:20:36,194 Pete, we must duel. 629 00:20:36,195 --> 00:20:38,197 I don't have to do anything, Lord Andre. 630 00:20:38,198 --> 00:20:39,566 I am the champion, I make the rules, 631 00:20:39,567 --> 00:20:41,035 I say we duel. 632 00:20:41,036 --> 00:20:42,438 You cannot besmirch someone's 633 00:20:42,439 --> 00:20:44,307 honor and then not duel! I'll besmirch 634 00:20:44,308 --> 00:20:46,077 the whole goddamn thing, Andre. 635 00:20:46,078 --> 00:20:48,080 636 00:20:53,292 --> 00:20:54,504 _ 637 00:20:54,624 --> 00:20:55,659 Who are they? 638 00:20:55,660 --> 00:20:56,994 Yeah, I think this might have 639 00:20:56,995 --> 00:20:58,297 something to do with Ming Wu. 640 00:20:59,466 --> 00:21:01,034 Let me handle this. I got this. 641 00:21:01,035 --> 00:21:02,603 Hi there. Uh, I think there's been a little bit 642 00:21:02,604 --> 00:21:04,072 of a misunderstanding here. 643 00:21:04,073 --> 00:21:06,142 Oh! Oh... Oh, oh, 644 00:21:06,143 --> 00:21:07,478 oh, shit. (groaning) 645 00:21:07,479 --> 00:21:09,147 My good man, 646 00:21:09,148 --> 00:21:11,218 I did not want to resort to physical violence. 647 00:21:11,219 --> 00:21:13,688 But you leave me no choice. Ha! 648 00:21:13,689 --> 00:21:15,090 (all grunting) 649 00:21:15,091 --> 00:21:16,593 (Jenny shrieks) 650 00:21:16,594 --> 00:21:19,965 _ 651 00:21:19,966 --> 00:21:21,200 (yells) 652 00:21:22,102 --> 00:21:23,737 Aah! 653 00:21:23,738 --> 00:21:25,039 Ooh! Bartitsu! 654 00:21:25,040 --> 00:21:26,242 I warned you, my good man. 655 00:21:26,243 --> 00:21:27,276 A dollar. 656 00:21:27,277 --> 00:21:29,279 (yells) 657 00:21:32,118 --> 00:21:34,120 Put your dick in his mouth, Andre! Shame him! 658 00:21:34,121 --> 00:21:36,057 Andre, he's got 659 00:21:36,058 --> 00:21:37,292 a mop. Aah! 660 00:21:37,293 --> 00:21:39,463 Oh! 661 00:21:39,464 --> 00:21:41,466 MEEGAN: Ooh! Oh, he's got a knife! 662 00:21:43,203 --> 00:21:44,604 Yes! (shrieks) 663 00:21:44,605 --> 00:21:45,973 Five dollars. 664 00:21:45,974 --> 00:21:47,241 Somebody kill somebody! 665 00:21:47,242 --> 00:21:48,710 I want to see a ghost! 666 00:21:48,711 --> 00:21:50,480 (yelling) 667 00:21:51,516 --> 00:21:53,285 Oh! 668 00:21:55,322 --> 00:21:56,590 Ah... 669 00:21:56,591 --> 00:21:58,026 Mm. 670 00:21:59,629 --> 00:22:00,730 Mm. 671 00:22:00,731 --> 00:22:02,266 This thing works pretty well. 672 00:22:02,267 --> 00:22:04,236 Ooh! (gasps) Whoa! 673 00:22:06,674 --> 00:22:08,375 JENNY: Snuffbox! 674 00:22:10,346 --> 00:22:12,282 $20, final answer. 675 00:22:12,283 --> 00:22:13,417 (grunting) 676 00:22:13,418 --> 00:22:15,153 Assistance! 677 00:22:15,154 --> 00:22:17,090 Here! Pocket dog? 678 00:22:17,091 --> 00:22:18,625 Here! 679 00:22:18,626 --> 00:22:20,629 (grunting) 680 00:22:21,764 --> 00:22:23,166 (groans) 681 00:22:23,167 --> 00:22:25,370 (gasps) Holy shit. 682 00:22:25,371 --> 00:22:27,073 Shall we get back to the draft? 683 00:22:27,074 --> 00:22:28,609 _ 684 00:22:28,610 --> 00:22:31,045 My hero. Our hero. 685 00:22:31,046 --> 00:22:32,465 I'm switching to Team Andre. 686 00:22:32,466 --> 00:22:33,833 Oh, I'm gonna be sick. So... 687 00:22:33,834 --> 00:22:35,463 Are we gonna ookie-cookie 688 00:22:35,583 --> 00:22:36,979 all over this guy's face, or what? 689 00:22:37,099 --> 00:22:47,362 Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 690 00:22:47,412 --> 00:22:51,962 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 50871

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