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JENNY: I have snacks.
PETE: Thank God.
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00:00:03,460 --> 00:00:05,126
You're welcome.
This is a joke, right?
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00:00:05,128 --> 00:00:07,028
No, we're on a bit of a
health kick.
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00:00:07,030 --> 00:00:08,730
KEVIN: We're doing the
healthy thing now.
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00:00:08,732 --> 00:00:10,498
RUXIN: Oh, since the "muffalo
wing" incident?
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00:00:10,500 --> 00:00:12,667
(laughter)
No, I just love my family and
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I want us to eat healthy, so we
got rid of all our junk food and
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are taking vitamins.
All I think about is bacon.
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00:00:19,042 --> 00:00:21,042
Ha-ha, married people
problems.
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00:00:21,044 --> 00:00:23,311
You know, you all should
thank me.
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00:00:23,313 --> 00:00:25,213
You're disgusting.
Yeah, but that's just our
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00:00:25,215 --> 00:00:27,048
personalities, though.
Honestly, Jenny's not wrong.
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00:00:27,050 --> 00:00:28,816
The only one here in decent
shape is Andre.
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00:00:28,818 --> 00:00:30,652
ANDRE: Oh, thank you for
noticing.
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00:00:30,654 --> 00:00:32,387
Would you mind giving us a
little tutorial?
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00:00:32,389 --> 00:00:34,289
I mean, what have you been
doing?
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00:00:34,291 --> 00:00:36,524
As a matter of fact, I can.
See, you can do everything that
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00:00:36,526 --> 00:00:38,726
I do in the privacy of your own
home.
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I always like to start off with
a squat.
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00:00:40,664 --> 00:00:43,431
It's kind of the most natural
way to kind of begin anything.
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Just get deep as you can go.
Drop in.
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00:00:45,735 --> 00:00:47,435
What happens if you get
resistance, what do you do?
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You just want to push right
through it.
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00:00:49,205 --> 00:00:51,573
Push, push until you can get
down, down, down, down, down,
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00:00:51,575 --> 00:00:53,942
down, down, deep as you can, and
it's gonna hurt, you know.
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00:00:53,944 --> 00:00:55,877
Okay.
But you got to just push
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00:00:55,879 --> 00:00:57,779
through it and then explode.
Oh.
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00:00:57,781 --> 00:00:59,747
Oh, nice.
You have a great core.
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Is there anything specifically
you do for that?
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00:01:01,718 --> 00:01:03,851
Indeed I do.
I do a plank.
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00:01:03,853 --> 00:01:06,321
So you just kind of lay down...
and take it.
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00:01:06,323 --> 00:01:08,590
This is great because you're
doing two muscles at a time.
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00:01:08,592 --> 00:01:10,725
Mm-hmm.
Two is about the minimum.
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You can always take two at once
because then you're activating
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two different parts of your
body.
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00:01:14,965 --> 00:01:16,764
Now I'm just getting worked up
right now.
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Yeah.
Now, do you find yourself
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getting hard while this is
happening?
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00:01:20,437 --> 00:01:22,770
(laughter)
Well, I find this whole thing
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is hard, but, you know, I just
got my bros to help me get
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through it.
Yeah, do you do it with other
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jacked dudes, or what?
Oh... I love doing it with
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jacked dudes.
No matter how many times you
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say, "Stop, stop, stop," they
will not let you, and then
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you're thankful and you're
pretty sore.
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Well, you seem to be exhausted.
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You earned this.
Oh, thank you very much.
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00:01:42,859 --> 00:01:47,255
Mmm, ha-ha-ha.
Tip's got the most nerve endings.
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Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
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Mmm... all right, I'm out.
I got to go set up for Baby
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Geoffrey's party.
Is it his birthday?
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No, it's not his birthday.
It's for his soccer team.
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Were they undefeated?
No, they lost every single game.
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00:02:02,278 --> 00:02:04,912
Why can't kids just be losers
anymore?
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00:02:04,914 --> 00:02:06,614
Well, Ruxin, you have years
of expertise.
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00:02:06,616 --> 00:02:08,483
You should show 'em how.
That's right, there's a
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00:02:08,485 --> 00:02:10,284
perfect example sitting right on
your mantel.
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00:02:10,286 --> 00:02:14,422
Hasn't Baby Geoffrey lost
enough having Ruxin as a dad?
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00:02:14,424 --> 00:02:16,357
Andre, why would say
something so purposefully
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hurtful?
What? I'm just...
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You don't know the power of
your words.
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00:02:20,196 --> 00:02:22,530
I hold you in very high esteem,
and when you make fun of me, it
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stings.
It's a joke, we all make
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jokes.
Andre, we would never say
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something like that to you.
Mm-mm.
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00:02:28,138 --> 00:02:30,104
I'm so sorry, look, he
doesn't think you're a loser...
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You-You know what?
It's too much.
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00:02:32,609 --> 00:02:34,809
I got to get out of here and go
get supplies.
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00:02:34,811 --> 00:02:36,678
Why don't you just have Sofia
get the supplies?
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Because, since last week was
my bye week, she's on her bye
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week this week in Miami.
TACO: Gentlemen, the word
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"taco" is no longer synonymous
with hot dogs and hamburgers.
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Taco's Truck has served its last
customer.
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00:02:47,957 --> 00:02:49,957
Aw.
Oh, thank God.
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I know you're all upset, but
the food industry's way too
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complicated.
And who wants to wash their
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hands, like, three times a day?
Ugh.
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That can't be healthy.
So, what's happening with
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Uncle Frank's van now?
I turned Taco's Truck into a
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puppy petting zoo.
Oh, yeah, that makes sense,
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00:03:02,238 --> 00:03:04,238
sure.
Yeah.
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00:03:04,240 --> 00:03:06,040
It's the perfect business.
Hardly any overhead.
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00:03:06,042 --> 00:03:08,710
All you have to do is show up at
kids' parties, bar mitzvahs,
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00:03:08,712 --> 00:03:11,145
orgies, let people pet the dogs,
they give you money for it.
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00:03:11,147 --> 00:03:13,214
Who would hire you to do one
of these parties?
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Uh, your super sexy wife.
I'm doing Baby Geoffrey's party
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00:03:16,519 --> 00:03:18,352
tomorrow.
(Pete laughs)
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00:03:18,354 --> 00:03:20,421
Yeah.
I would rather set up a back
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00:03:20,423 --> 00:03:22,256
rub station run by Jerry
Sandusky.
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00:03:22,258 --> 00:03:24,425
Oh, if he's available, just
tell him to come by.
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00:03:24,427 --> 00:03:26,494
Aah!
Guys, I keep onng goi through
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it over and over again.
I-I think I really upset Ruxin.
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Kevin.
You urinated all over the floor.
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It's not my fault that you
gave me these vitamins that
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change my pee color like some
sort of sick Willy Wonka trick.
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What?
The color is neither here nor
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there.
The fact is, you didn't get it
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in the bowl.
I got a lot of it in the
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bowl.
That's not that bad.
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Yeah, honestly, you get 70%
of it in the bowl, you're doing
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great.
You guys put the pee bib
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around the toilet?
That's genius.
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Yeah, you know, it catches
all the remnants.
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Wait, wait, the remnants?
That's a full meal.
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That's not a meal.
That's, that's a couple
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sessions' worth, Andre.
That's not one shot.
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Is there a diet that makes
any of you less foul?
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00:04:03,133 --> 00:04:06,801
Oh! Oh.
Ah, it's not that bad, actually.
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00:04:06,803 --> 00:04:08,903
Look.
"Now, what do you kids want for
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00:04:08,905 --> 00:04:10,805
Christmas?"
Thanks for driving me all the
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00:04:10,807 --> 00:04:12,740
way back to the city, Andre, I
appreciate it.
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00:04:12,742 --> 00:04:14,909
Of course, and by the way, I
wanted to talk to you a little
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00:04:14,911 --> 00:04:16,644
bit about a trade.
Do not offer me Randy Moss.
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00:04:16,646 --> 00:04:18,946
I do not know why you drafted
him, I do not know why you still
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have him.
First of all, he can come
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00:04:20,717 --> 00:04:22,583
back.
Just watch, watch, okay?
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00:04:22,585 --> 00:04:24,585
Look, but I'm not talking about
that.
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00:04:24,587 --> 00:04:26,921
You have great running backs.
I have a great backup QB.
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00:04:26,923 --> 00:04:29,891
I got amazing wide receivers.
Let's, uh, see if we can get on
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00:04:29,893 --> 00:04:31,626
the dance floor.
Do a little dance.
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00:04:31,628 --> 00:04:33,294
A little trade dance, right?
It's an interesting
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00:04:33,296 --> 00:04:36,597
proposition, I just... you know,
I got to come up for air first.
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00:04:36,599 --> 00:04:38,332
What the hell does that mean,
"come up for air"?
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I'm swamped right now, man.
My work's kicking my ass, and I
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00:04:40,436 --> 00:04:42,470
got a lot of stuff to do around
the house.
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00:04:42,472 --> 00:04:44,438
Just a bad time, you know.
Take a second, we'll just get
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00:04:44,440 --> 00:04:46,174
out our phones, we'll do it
right now.
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00:04:46,176 --> 00:04:47,975
A-Andre, I can't even think
past one minute from now,
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00:04:47,977 --> 00:04:50,077
honestly.
If I was gonna consider this, I
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00:04:50,079 --> 00:04:51,979
would need to take a bunch of
stuff off my plate.
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00:04:51,981 --> 00:04:53,781
I don't even have groceries in
my house right now.
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00:04:53,783 --> 00:04:55,783
We'll get you groceries.
We'll stop at the storon the
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00:04:55,785 --> 00:04:57,618
way home.
Great, here's a little list
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00:04:57,620 --> 00:04:59,520
for you.
Wait, you want me to get you
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00:04:59,522 --> 00:05:01,455
groceries?
Yeah, I could just crush some
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00:05:01,457 --> 00:05:03,291
e-mails while you're in there if
that's cool.
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00:05:03,293 --> 00:05:05,193
"Milk"?
Do you want, like, one percent,
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00:05:05,195 --> 00:05:06,928
almond milk...?
Sorry, Andre, I'm just
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00:05:06,930 --> 00:05:08,796
slaying some voice mails real
quick.
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00:05:08,798 --> 00:05:10,464
"Salad stuff"?
What does "salad stuff" even
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00:05:10,466 --> 00:05:13,201
mean?
Is that, like, the dressings or
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00:05:13,203 --> 00:05:15,603
the things inside the salad?
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00:05:18,071 --> 00:05:21,111
All right, Ian, here you go.
This is your trophy for not
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crying that one time.
On your way.
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00:05:24,154 --> 00:05:26,688
Geoffrey, you're not much of a
physical specimen, but you can
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00:05:26,690 --> 00:05:28,657
hoard orange slices with the
best of 'em.
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00:05:28,659 --> 00:05:30,859
Here you go, bud.
Yay!
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00:05:30,861 --> 00:05:32,861
Do I get a trophy?
No, sweetie, these trophies
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are for losers.
Go play with them.
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00:05:34,531 --> 00:05:36,431
Aw.
I'm coming for you, losers.
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00:05:36,433 --> 00:05:38,200
Yeah, uh, speaking of losers,
what happened to your pants
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00:05:38,202 --> 00:05:40,368
there, Jackson Pollack?
Did an alien finish on you?
153
00:05:40,370 --> 00:05:43,038
(Jenny sighs)
I spilled some pesto.
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00:05:43,040 --> 00:05:46,541
When did you have pesto?
I dribbled in my pants.
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00:05:46,543 --> 00:05:48,510
I peed my pants a bit.
A small bit, it's just a
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00:05:48,512 --> 00:05:50,345
dribble.
That looks like a double
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00:05:50,347 --> 00:05:52,714
dribble, at least a walk.
Flagrant foul.
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00:05:52,716 --> 00:05:55,183
I was out of pee bibs, and I
was trying to check my lineup
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00:05:55,185 --> 00:05:57,085
and e at the same time.
Classic tinker tinkle.
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00:05:57,087 --> 00:05:58,787
(horn plays "La Cucaracha")
Oh, what is...?
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00:05:58,789 --> 00:06:01,590
What is this?
Heavy Pet...
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00:06:01,592 --> 00:06:06,261
Ha-ha.
God, what are you doing?
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00:06:06,263 --> 00:06:08,930
Gentlemen, the puppy party
has arrived.
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00:06:08,932 --> 00:06:11,133
You're driving around in a
van that says "Heavy Petting"?
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Yeah.
You got to use a pun name in the
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00:06:13,537 --> 00:06:15,337
pet industry.
It's like a rule.
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00:06:15,339 --> 00:06:18,540
I was thinking about "Pup Pup
and Away" or "Pup Tents," but
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00:06:18,542 --> 00:06:21,810
market research pointed to this.
What market research, Taco?
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00:06:21,812 --> 00:06:24,980
Just me thinking about stuff.
That's not even a pun, Taco.
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00:06:24,982 --> 00:06:27,415
It's just a sex act.
Ugh, get your minds out of
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00:06:27,417 --> 00:06:30,218
the gutter, please.
Kids!
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00:06:30,220 --> 00:06:33,922
Who's up for some heavy petting?
Yay!
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00:06:33,924 --> 00:06:35,857
(dogs barking)
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00:06:35,859 --> 00:06:42,564
Well, hi, doggie doggie.
Oh, you're so...
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00:06:42,566 --> 00:06:45,567
Oh, he's smiling.
That means he likes you.
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00:06:45,569 --> 00:06:49,171
Oh, no, no.
Ew!
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00:06:49,173 --> 00:06:51,306
Yeah, yeah, bite the neck,
that's good.
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00:06:51,308 --> 00:06:54,509
Just like I taught you.
Jesus, Taco, half these dogs
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00:06:54,511 --> 00:06:56,444
can't walk.
Yeah, which means they're
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00:06:56,446 --> 00:06:58,480
great for petting.
They're not puppies, Taco,
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00:06:58,482 --> 00:07:00,415
they're just old dogs.
I don't know how old they
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00:07:00,417 --> 00:07:02,317
are, but I guarantee they're
puppies.
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00:07:02,319 --> 00:07:04,252
You know "puppy" is not a
breed?
184
00:07:04,254 --> 00:07:07,355
No, it's an ethnicity, like
"Canadian" or "vampire."
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00:07:07,357 --> 00:07:09,758
This guy's a purebred puppy.
Purebred.
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00:07:09,760 --> 00:07:11,493
This guy's a mutt.
Half-puppy, half-poodle, I
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00:07:11,495 --> 00:07:13,428
think.
What you basically have here
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00:07:13,430 --> 00:07:15,864
is a mobile pet cemetery, and I
think that one might be a cat.
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00:07:15,866 --> 00:07:17,632
(cat meows)
Oh, do you think people will
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00:07:17,634 --> 00:07:20,001
notice?
Hey, your dog bit my kid.
191
00:07:20,003 --> 00:07:22,103
No, no, he probably just gave
him a little "teeth hug."
192
00:07:22,105 --> 00:07:23,805
Come on, Carson, we're
getting out of here.
193
00:07:23,807 --> 00:07:25,707
What?
If it makes you feel any
194
00:07:25,709 --> 00:07:27,709
better, that kid's a total bed
wetter.
195
00:07:27,711 --> 00:07:29,811
(Taco sighs)
What did I tell you, puppies?
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00:07:29,813 --> 00:07:31,513
No biting.
Bad puppies.
197
00:07:31,515 --> 00:07:33,181
(device buzzes, dogs bark)
Whoa, hey, stop.
198
00:07:33,183 --> 00:07:35,150
Taco.
Taco, you don't need to do
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00:07:35,152 --> 00:07:37,118
all of 'em.
It's not Bow-schwitz.
200
00:07:37,120 --> 00:07:39,788
They appreciate that I treat
'em all equally.
201
00:07:39,790 --> 00:07:43,458
Rodney!
Excuse me, it's my nightmare
202
00:07:43,460 --> 00:07:46,061
neighbor.
Oh, I love the dog wiener.
203
00:07:46,063 --> 00:07:48,230
Oh, it's-it's "wiener dog,"
sweetheart.
204
00:07:48,232 --> 00:07:53,001
No, it's a "puppy wiener."
Smile.
205
00:07:53,003 --> 00:07:55,370
That'll be $40, please.
Everybody calls me Ruxin.
206
00:07:55,372 --> 00:07:57,038
Well, I don't.
What do you want?
207
00:07:57,040 --> 00:07:58,807
Your dogs have been peeing on
my lawn.
208
00:07:58,809 --> 00:08:00,475
Not my problem, lady.
(dog growls)
209
00:08:00,477 --> 00:08:02,143
Would you stop growling?
Bad dog.
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00:08:02,145 --> 00:08:04,913
(device buzzes, dog barks)
(whimper, thud)
211
00:08:04,915 --> 00:08:07,148
Uh-oh.
I don't have any dogs.
212
00:08:07,150 --> 00:08:09,217
Look!
Those are puppies.
213
00:08:09,219 --> 00:08:11,519
They pee.
Stay with me, Zeke.
214
00:08:11,521 --> 00:08:15,090
Do not go towards the light.
You stay.
215
00:08:15,092 --> 00:08:17,759
Okay.
Clear!
216
00:08:17,761 --> 00:08:20,262
You're such a liar!
That's why your wife left you.
217
00:08:20,264 --> 00:08:22,364
She didn't leave me, she's on
vacation.
218
00:08:22,366 --> 00:08:24,032
(laughing): Oh, right.
Okay, mouth to mouth.
219
00:08:24,034 --> 00:08:25,700
No, stop, Taco.
Taco, oh, God.
220
00:08:25,702 --> 00:08:27,369
Taco, that's enough.
Oh, where has that tongue
221
00:08:27,371 --> 00:08:29,271
been?
These guys are gonna need so
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00:08:29,273 --> 00:08:31,039
much therapy.
Well, you know, if I find
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00:08:31,041 --> 00:08:32,874
another pee spot, I'm gonna slap
the dickens out of you!
224
00:08:32,876 --> 00:08:34,909
Really?
All right, kids, grab a
225
00:08:34,911 --> 00:08:36,911
shovel, we're gonna play "puppy
funeral."
226
00:08:36,913 --> 00:08:39,414
Wh-Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Stop the clock, stop the clock.
227
00:08:39,416 --> 00:08:41,583
Your party's over.
We're not burying dogs with
228
00:08:41,585 --> 00:08:43,551
these children around.
Well, is there a ditch we
229
00:08:43,553 --> 00:08:45,420
could chuck it into?
Put him in the van.
230
00:08:45,422 --> 00:08:47,455
No, there's already two dogs
in there.
231
00:08:47,457 --> 00:08:50,292
Oh.
Mom, Dad, look at this
232
00:08:50,294 --> 00:08:52,360
picture of me and Zoey.
Isn't she so cute?
233
00:08:52,362 --> 00:08:54,562
Mm-hmm.
The elderly puppy is super cute,
234
00:08:54,564 --> 00:08:56,298
but it is dinnertime now, babe,
please eat.
235
00:08:56,300 --> 00:08:58,199
This is not dinner.
I don't know why we're calling
236
00:08:58,201 --> 00:09:00,035
it that.
What?
237
00:09:00,037 --> 00:09:01,870
What i-- what is this?
This is broccolini, tofu, and
238
00:09:01,872 --> 00:09:04,072
kale?
I ca-- I can't do this, I need
239
00:09:04,074 --> 00:09:05,907
protein.
You know what?
240
00:09:05,909 --> 00:09:07,575
I did forget one thing.
I'll be back.
241
00:09:07,577 --> 00:09:09,778
Is it dessert?
No, it's the vitamins.
242
00:09:09,780 --> 00:09:14,049
Oh, not those green pills.
They taste like compost.
243
00:09:14,051 --> 00:09:16,484
Um, babe, I got to use the
bathroom.
244
00:09:16,486 --> 00:09:18,386
Okay.
(whispering): Hey, hey, come
245
00:09:18,388 --> 00:09:20,255
on, let's go, follow me.
What?
246
00:09:20,257 --> 00:09:21,923
Shh, just shh.
Me, too.
247
00:09:21,925 --> 00:09:23,758
Okay.
What are we doing?
248
00:09:23,760 --> 00:09:27,495
Shh.
Okay, go, go, go, go.
249
00:09:27,497 --> 00:09:31,433
All right.
Listen, this is the quiet cave.
250
00:09:31,435 --> 00:09:36,104
And you can never tell Mommy
what you sawn here, okay?
251
00:09:36,106 --> 00:09:39,841
What's that?
Feast your eyes... on this.
252
00:09:39,843 --> 00:09:43,645
Oh, Dad, it's gross.
No, no, no, no, it's covered
253
00:09:43,647 --> 00:09:47,082
in plastic bags, and the water
in here is perfectly clean, and
254
00:09:47,084 --> 00:09:49,150
Mommy will never think to look
inside here.
255
00:09:49,152 --> 00:09:51,152
Ha-ha.
Ah.
256
00:09:51,154 --> 00:09:55,156
So, milady, I ask you, care
to join me for a dinner party?
257
00:09:55,158 --> 00:09:58,093
Why, I would love to join you
for a dinner party.
258
00:09:58,095 --> 00:10:04,632
I'll set the table.
Uh-uh-uh, pinkies up when we eat
259
00:10:04,634 --> 00:10:08,870
our licorice.
Cheers.
260
00:10:08,872 --> 00:10:11,473
Oh, it seems you spilled a
little bit in the corner of your
261
00:10:11,475 --> 00:10:13,808
mouth.
May I get that for you?
262
00:10:13,810 --> 00:10:16,811
Oh, lovely.
263
00:10:16,813 --> 00:10:23,985
Rodney!
(Ruxin groans)
264
00:10:23,987 --> 00:10:27,055
Everybody calls me Ruxin.
Rodney?
265
00:10:27,057 --> 00:10:30,392
Yes, Mrs. Hatch?
I told you before that I want
266
00:10:30,394 --> 00:10:33,395
to keep your dogs off of my
lawn.
267
00:10:33,397 --> 00:10:35,563
As I told you before, I don't
have any dogs.
268
00:10:35,565 --> 00:10:37,532
So, I'm supposed to believe
that you're the one peeing on
269
00:10:37,534 --> 00:10:39,100
the lawn?
Yeah, yeah, I'm peeing all
270
00:10:39,102 --> 00:10:40,702
over your lawn.
That's wh...
271
00:10:40,704 --> 00:10:42,704
Ow!
Oh, God!
272
00:10:42,706 --> 00:10:45,173
Ow!
And I'm taking this bracelet,
273
00:10:45,175 --> 00:10:47,475
too.
That's not a bracelet, it's
274
00:10:47,477 --> 00:10:48,977
a...
Oh, no, it's mine.
275
00:10:48,979 --> 00:10:50,478
It was on my property.
Thank you.
276
00:10:50,480 --> 00:10:52,213
You know what, go ahead.
Keep it.
277
00:10:52,215 --> 00:10:57,585
And keep the curtains of mine
that you're wearing as a dress.
278
00:10:57,587 --> 00:11:00,488
Yes.
Hey, Pete, do you think maybe
279
00:11:00,490 --> 00:11:03,258
later todawe can talk about
that trade?
280
00:11:03,260 --> 00:11:05,927
You know, my head's just so
full right now.
281
00:11:05,929 --> 00:11:08,163
I think maybe just finish off my
eight-hour online traffic school
282
00:11:08,165 --> 00:11:09,998
and then we can talk about it,
okay?
283
00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:11,232
Almost done.
Great.
284
00:11:11,234 --> 00:11:12,567
You got it.
Thanks.
285
00:11:12,569 --> 00:11:14,502
Why is Andre building you an
end table?
286
00:11:14,504 --> 00:11:16,337
Well, the rest of my bedroom
set's already done.
287
00:11:16,339 --> 00:11:20,275
This is the last piece.
You made him your trade maid.
288
00:11:20,277 --> 00:11:21,943
Trade maid.
You sly little devil.
289
00:11:21,945 --> 00:11:23,445
Mmm.
Guys, do you believe this?
290
00:11:23,447 --> 00:11:25,246
You got to park 12 inches away
from the curb when you parallel
291
00:11:25,248 --> 00:11:27,348
park.
Crazy.
292
00:11:27,350 --> 00:11:28,683
Crazy.
Yeah, right?
293
00:11:28,685 --> 00:11:30,084
I got the snacks, huh?
Yes!
294
00:11:30,086 --> 00:11:31,853
Let's get rid of this healthy
crap, let's go.
295
00:11:31,855 --> 00:11:34,923
Oh, yeah.
Why are these all wet?
296
00:11:34,925 --> 00:11:36,591
'Cause I keep them in the
back of the toilet.
297
00:11:36,593 --> 00:11:37,926
Oh!
What?
298
00:11:37,928 --> 00:11:40,261
What... Why?
What?
299
00:11:40,263 --> 00:11:41,796
I have to.
Jenny can't find out where I
300
00:11:41,798 --> 00:11:43,765
keep it.
Huh? Licorice?
301
00:11:43,767 --> 00:11:45,300
No, no, thanks.
I'll skip the crappetizers.
302
00:11:45,302 --> 00:11:47,135
Yeah, no toilunch for me.
Andre?
303
00:11:47,137 --> 00:11:49,037
Yeah?
Huh?
304
00:11:49,039 --> 00:11:50,872
Oh, I love the gummies.
Yeah.
305
00:11:50,874 --> 00:11:53,775
Why is this all wet?
Uh, freezer burn.
306
00:11:53,777 --> 00:11:55,944
Oh. I love it.
Keep me cool.
307
00:11:55,946 --> 00:11:57,445
Yeah, I know you do.
Gummies for dummies.
308
00:11:57,447 --> 00:12:00,114
Yeah!
What the...?
309
00:12:00,116 --> 00:12:03,818
Is that my scarf?
Aw, come on.
310
00:12:03,820 --> 00:12:06,120
Um, your scarf?
Get up, come on.
311
00:12:06,122 --> 00:12:07,989
What are you doing?
That is... No...
312
00:12:07,991 --> 00:12:10,792
That is my, that is, that is
my scarf, okay?
313
00:12:10,794 --> 00:12:12,393
(laughs)
Now, that is... (grunts)
314
00:12:12,395 --> 00:12:14,462
This is my scarf, not a toy.
All right.
315
00:12:14,464 --> 00:12:16,631
Go fetch, girl!
(laughs)
316
00:12:16,633 --> 00:12:18,733
That is my hat.
Dude, I was doing you a
317
00:12:18,735 --> 00:12:20,335
favor.
You are a brat, you know
318
00:12:20,337 --> 00:12:22,003
that?
An inconsiderate brat.
319
00:12:22,005 --> 00:12:24,906
Whoa, wait, watch it, Andre.
Hey, Andre, did I just walk
320
00:12:24,908 --> 00:12:27,141
into my house and hear you yell
at my kid?
321
00:12:27,143 --> 00:12:29,444
Yeah, 'cause she's being a
jackass.
322
00:12:29,446 --> 00:12:31,012
Hey.
Yeah, well, she's our
323
00:12:31,014 --> 00:12:32,480
jackass.We made her that way.
324
00:12:32,482 --> 00:12:34,449
Your daughter needs to bepunished, and that dog needs to
325
00:12:34,451 --> 00:12:37,085
be put down.Why don't we just wait a week
326
00:12:37,087 --> 00:12:38,953
on the dog?Yeah, where'd that puppy go?
327
00:12:38,955 --> 00:12:41,256
The wiener ran away.It's ironic, 'cause usually
328
00:12:41,258 --> 00:12:43,157
wiener make a beeline forAndre's buns.
329
00:12:43,159 --> 00:12:45,193
Fives.Fives.
330
00:12:45,195 --> 00:12:47,462
Andre, you're a bad person.You scared the puppy away.
331
00:12:47,464 --> 00:12:49,764
Look, I am so sorry.No!
332
00:12:49,766 --> 00:12:51,466
Zoey?Zoey!
333
00:12:51,468 --> 00:12:53,301
Way to go, Andre.(sighs)
334
00:12:53,303 --> 00:12:55,136
She's the one who's throwingmy hat.
335
00:12:55,138 --> 00:12:57,138
(Taco sighs)I lost so many puppies this
336
00:12:57,140 --> 00:12:59,641
week.Mostly to death or something
337
00:12:59,643 --> 00:13:02,810
called osteoporosis.
338
00:13:08,857 --> 00:13:12,000
Hey, I think I've seen her
jumping rope in the
339
00:13:12,240 --> 00:13:13,907
neighborhood.
Oh, that makes sense.
340
00:13:13,909 --> 00:13:16,843
She does a lot of tricks.
What's "semi-trained"?
341
00:13:16,845 --> 00:13:18,712
It means she's good with
number one, but she'll number
342
00:13:18,714 --> 00:13:20,513
two just about anywhere.
Just plops them all over the
343
00:13:20,515 --> 00:13:23,016
place.
How old is she?
344
00:13:23,018 --> 00:13:24,851
Nine, I guess.
But she looks a lot older.
345
00:13:24,853 --> 00:13:27,220
Uh, it gets her into trouble
quite a bit, as you can imagine.
346
00:13:27,222 --> 00:13:29,489
Oh.
Oh, God, I hope she doesn't
347
00:13:29,491 --> 00:13:31,858
come back pregnant.
Look, if you see her, can you
348
00:13:31,860 --> 00:13:34,327
just grab her?
Like, she's gonna kick and
349
00:13:34,329 --> 00:13:36,429
scream a lot, but just throw her
in a dark room, she'll calm
350
00:13:36,431 --> 00:13:38,698
down, and then you give me a
call and I'll come pick her up.
351
00:13:38,700 --> 00:13:40,700
You are sick.
You need medication.
352
00:13:40,702 --> 00:13:43,770
Well, I got news for you,
sister, I'm already on a lot of
353
00:13:43,772 --> 00:13:48,441
medication.
(Ruxin sighs)
354
00:13:48,443 --> 00:13:52,579
Geoffrey, no!
Stop, Baby Geoffrey, stop.
355
00:13:52,581 --> 00:13:54,247
I can't stop!
I know it's tough when you
356
00:13:54,249 --> 00:13:56,950
get the pee train in motion,
buddy, but you got to stop.
357
00:13:56,952 --> 00:14:00,086
Geoffrey, who taught you to do
that?
358
00:14:00,088 --> 00:14:02,522
Uncle Rafi. He told me it
was bad to hold it in.
359
00:14:02,524 --> 00:14:04,924
Yeah, but you can't pee on
people's lawns.
360
00:14:04,926 --> 00:14:07,260
Especially Nanny Pacquiao's,
okay?
361
00:14:07,262 --> 00:14:10,630
'Cause when you pee on green
grass, it turns it yellow.
362
00:14:10,632 --> 00:14:16,036
(gasps) That's it!
Oh.
363
00:14:16,038 --> 00:14:18,438
I think it's good.
I really thought we were
364
00:14:18,440 --> 00:14:20,874
going to lunch.
This is lunch.
365
00:14:20,876 --> 00:14:23,243
This is... this is salad
shake.
366
00:14:23,245 --> 00:14:25,645
I want food, real food that
people consume.
367
00:14:25,647 --> 00:14:28,048
Are you sure?
Yes.
368
00:14:28,050 --> 00:14:31,718
Ew, what is that?
That's you.
369
00:14:31,720 --> 00:14:35,055
How many pounds does it take to
change a lightbulb?
370
00:14:35,057 --> 00:14:37,457
Oh, God.
Drink up.
371
00:14:37,459 --> 00:14:39,959
Oy.
Oh, it tastes like the back
372
00:14:39,961 --> 00:14:43,930
of a lawn mower.
Hey, buddy.
373
00:14:43,932 --> 00:14:46,299
Hey.
You know him?
374
00:14:46,301 --> 00:14:48,668
No. He was just staring at
us, though.
375
00:14:48,670 --> 00:14:51,071
Maybe because you were
screaming about how horrible the
376
00:14:51,073 --> 00:14:53,473
drinks are here.
Everyone here knows it's
377
00:14:53,475 --> 00:14:55,909
horrible. They just...
They're buying into it.
378
00:14:55,911 --> 00:14:58,278
That's how people...
No.
379
00:14:58,280 --> 00:15:00,680
Oh, God.
No.
380
00:15:00,682 --> 00:15:03,083
BOTH: No!
No, no, that's not...
381
00:15:03,085 --> 00:15:05,485
Oh, my God.
She's our daughter.
382
00:15:05,487 --> 00:15:07,687
Sweetheart, tell everyone
that we are your parents.
383
00:15:07,689 --> 00:15:09,923
Yeah.
My real pents wouldn't make
384
00:15:09,925 --> 00:15:12,092
me eat crap like this.
What? No.
385
00:15:12,094 --> 00:15:14,094
No, no, no, you can eat
whatever you want-- ice cream.
386
00:15:14,096 --> 00:15:16,496
Twinkies.
Ho Hos.
387
00:15:16,498 --> 00:15:18,932
Gummy bears.
Skittles.
388
00:15:18,934 --> 00:15:21,101
Whipped cream right in your
mouth. What do you want?
389
00:15:21,103 --> 00:15:23,103
I want some of the sausage
Daddy showed me in the bathroom.
390
00:15:23,105 --> 00:15:25,305
No! No, no.
Right, that's a secret.
391
00:15:25,307 --> 00:15:27,307
No. Secret? Secrets.All right, got to...
392
00:15:27,309 --> 00:15:29,309
No. L's go, come on.We got to go, we got to go.
393
00:15:29,311 --> 00:15:31,711
Hey, hey, hey, hey.Hey! Ow!
394
00:15:31,713 --> 00:15:33,947
Hey, Daddy's little girl.Ha, ha.
395
00:15:33,949 --> 00:15:36,316
Ow! You're hurting me!(grunts, breathes heavily)
396
00:15:36,318 --> 00:15:38,718
Okay, that's most of the bedroomset.
397
00:15:38,720 --> 00:15:41,121
Great, can you return it tothe store, now, please?
398
00:15:41,123 --> 00:15:43,523
Are you playing Minesweeper?I told you how swamped I am,
399
00:15:43,525 --> 00:15:45,959
Andre.I need the stress relief.
400
00:15:45,961 --> 00:15:48,328
This trade's never gonnahappen, is it?
401
00:15:48,330 --> 00:15:50,530
Andre, this is the last favorI need from you, okay?
402
00:15:50,532 --> 00:15:53,900
Okay.Thank you.
403
00:15:53,902 --> 00:15:57,470
Little help?Ooh, cleared the board.
404
00:15:57,472 --> 00:16:01,341
(sighs)Can no one change toilet
405
00:16:01,343 --> 00:16:03,743
paper in this house?Just...
406
00:16:03,745 --> 00:16:06,146
Oh, my God.He hit all of the toilet paper,
407
00:16:06,148 --> 00:16:08,515
not one, just...
Hey, Jenny.
408
00:16:08,517 --> 00:16:10,917
Hi. What the...?
(Taco sings)
409
00:16:10,919 --> 00:16:13,319
Whoa!
Why is there food in my toilet?
410
00:16:13,321 --> 00:16:15,688
Just the cheese is mine.
The rest of that junk is
411
00:16:15,690 --> 00:16:18,158
Kevin's.
What?!
412
00:16:18,160 --> 00:16:20,527
Brothers.
Always cramping your space.
413
00:16:20,529 --> 00:16:21,728
See you later.
414
00:16:21,730 --> 00:16:24,164
Kevin!
Hey, was Taco just...?
415
00:16:24,166 --> 00:16:27,767
Oh, no.
You've been eating secret
416
00:16:27,769 --> 00:16:30,170
meals on the toilet?
Not secret meals.
417
00:16:30,172 --> 00:16:32,572
They're-they're crappetizers.
Oh, God.
418
00:16:32,574 --> 00:16:35,008
Hey, um...
Oh, another elegant MacArthur
419
00:16:35,010 --> 00:16:37,377
family meal.
Do you guys have any of those
420
00:16:37,379 --> 00:16:39,779
vitamins that make your pee
green?
421
00:16:39,781 --> 00:16:42,182
Yes. Please, take them.
Thank you.
422
00:16:42,184 --> 00:16:45,718
Bon app?tit, Wolfgang Schmucks.
You're starving me out, here,
423
00:16:45,720 --> 00:16:48,121
babe.
I'll make you a smoothie.
424
00:16:48,123 --> 00:16:50,456
I don't want a smoothie.
I want salty, fat meat in my
425
00:16:50,458 --> 00:16:52,892
mouth.
Pete's donger's available.
426
00:16:52,894 --> 00:16:56,529
You had to see that one coming.
427
00:16:56,531 --> 00:17:00,900
Is the dog gonna be okay?
Yeah, he'll be fine.
428
00:17:00,902 --> 00:17:04,037
Took one of his wheels off so no
one would steal him.
429
00:17:04,039 --> 00:17:06,406
Ah. Smart thinking.
Yeah. Eat up.
430
00:17:06,408 --> 00:17:08,808
You know what you're going home
to.
431
00:17:08,810 --> 00:17:11,211
Oh, at least I got my dad's
toilet food.
432
00:17:11,213 --> 00:17:13,613
Your dad's a smart man.
Toilet tank's the best place to
433
00:17:13,615 --> 00:17:16,049
keep food.
I got fruits and vegetables at
434
00:17:16,051 --> 00:17:18,218
Ruxin's toilet.
I got, uh, cheese and meats at
435
00:17:18,220 --> 00:17:20,420
Kevin's toilet.
Also have some hard-boiled eggs
436
00:17:20,422 --> 00:17:23,556
and mayonnaise at a toilet down
at the, uh, Sears Tower in case
437
00:17:23,558 --> 00:17:25,758
I'm downtown and want some egg
salad.
438
00:17:25,760 --> 00:17:28,161
Whew!
That was a lot of food.
439
00:17:28,163 --> 00:17:30,496
Real food.
Yeah.
440
00:17:30,498 --> 00:17:32,932
Thanks for paying.
I'll get the next one.
441
00:17:32,934 --> 00:17:35,301
Hey, can I have a ride home?
Sorry, kid.
442
00:17:35,303 --> 00:17:38,071
No can do.
Headed downtown to find some new
443
00:17:38,073 --> 00:17:40,607
puppies.
But... I don't know how to
444
00:17:40,609 --> 00:17:43,009
get home.
Right.
445
00:17:43,011 --> 00:17:45,411
I'm being irresponsible.
Here.
446
00:17:45,413 --> 00:17:49,849
It's a compass.
"N" is this way, and I think
447
00:17:49,851 --> 00:17:52,852
you live somewhere this way...
ish.
448
00:17:52,854 --> 00:17:57,023
Hyah! Hyah! Let's go, boy.
Let's go.
449
00:17:57,025 --> 00:18:07,767
Oh, my God, this is working.
(cackles)
450
00:18:07,769 --> 00:18:09,969
Rodney!
Everybody calls me uxin."
451
00:18:09,971 --> 00:18:11,971
I knew it was you who was
peeing on my lawn.
452
00:18:11,973 --> 00:18:13,973
I'm fixing your lawn.
Put that little cocktail
453
00:18:13,975 --> 00:18:16,309
weenie away.
I can't. Once the pee train's
454
00:18:16,311 --> 00:18:18,344
left the station, there's no
turning back.
455
00:18:18,346 --> 00:18:20,546
Well, I'll put it away for
you, here.
456
00:18:20,548 --> 00:18:22,548
No!
Come here with that little
457
00:18:22,550 --> 00:18:24,784
cocktail weenie, you...
No!
458
00:18:24,786 --> 00:18:26,786
Come here. Come here! I'll
get that from you. Oh, get...
459
00:18:26,788 --> 00:18:29,188
No, Mrs. Hatch.
I'll get that from you.
460
00:18:29,190 --> 00:18:31,357
Always whining, always whining.
461
00:18:31,359 --> 00:18:33,559
(imitates whining)
Hey, you keep whining, you're
462
00:18:33,561 --> 00:18:35,695
gonna get zapped again.
Don't think I'm not gonna get
463
00:18:35,697 --> 00:18:36,710
you, little Rodney.
No, stop it!
464
00:18:36,830 --> 00:18:38,048
Give it to me.
Fine, you leave me no choice.
465
00:18:38,168 --> 00:18:42,001
(Ruxin whimpers)
(yelling)
466
00:18:42,003 --> 00:18:44,203
What the...?
Come on, what the hell's wrong
467
00:18:44,205 --> 00:18:46,572
with this thing?
Hey, bad dog.
468
00:18:46,574 --> 00:18:48,234
(groaning)
Whoa. What happened here, huh?
469
00:18:48,354 --> 00:18:49,275
What's going on, Ruxin?
470
00:18:49,379 --> 00:18:52,223
Not much. You know what.
I think the dog's still
471
00:18:52,343 --> 00:18:54,512
growling.
What did I tell you?
472
00:18:54,632 --> 00:18:55,950
Bad boy!
(zapping, groaning)
473
00:18:57,376 --> 00:18:58,676
Hey, Sofia.
474
00:19:03,531 --> 00:19:06,536
Hey, is that Ellie?
(Ellie cries quietly)
475
00:19:07,412 --> 00:19:09,779
Hey, hey, little girl.
What's up?
476
00:19:09,781 --> 00:19:10,950
Come on.
No.
477
00:19:11,070 --> 00:19:12,746
Want a ride?
No!
478
00:19:13,055 --> 00:19:14,493
What are you doing so far
away from home?
479
00:19:14,630 --> 00:19:16,830
Taco left me.
Oh, well, come on, get in the
480
00:19:16,832 --> 00:19:17,827
van, we'll have some fun.
Look...
481
00:19:17,947 --> 00:19:19,635
No. I don't want to get in
the van.
482
00:19:19,871 --> 00:19:21,804
I'm so sorry about the things
that happened between us, but,
483
00:19:21,806 --> 00:19:23,806
look, I can't have you walk home
by yourself. I...
484
00:19:23,808 --> 00:19:26,539
Get in the van.
I got... I got, uh... candy.
485
00:19:27,831 --> 00:19:29,831
I don't want candy from you.
Five-four-five to Central.
486
00:19:29,833 --> 00:19:33,715
I got eyes on a potential perp.
Vehicle says "Heavy Petting."
487
00:19:33,835 --> 00:19:35,835
Ellie, I can't have you walk
home by yourself.
488
00:19:35,837 --> 00:19:36,921
Your parents would kill me.
Uh-uh.
489
00:19:37,041 --> 00:19:38,369
Okay, you know what?
That's it.
490
00:19:38,483 --> 00:19:40,483
You're getting in the van.
Come with me.
491
00:19:40,485 --> 00:19:41,616
No.
Come on, come on!
492
00:19:41,742 --> 00:19:43,742
No, stop it!
Come on, get in the van.
493
00:19:43,744 --> 00:19:45,678
Don't put me in the van!
I don't want to get in the van!
494
00:19:45,680 --> 00:19:46,996
Just get in the van.
I'm moving in. I'm moving in.
495
00:19:47,237 --> 00:19:49,203
Get in the van and be quiet.
I don't want to get in your van.
496
00:19:49,205 --> 00:19:51,406
No!
Get in that van. There.
497
00:19:51,408 --> 00:19:53,474
There! Stay in there, okay?
We're gonna play games, we're
498
00:19:53,476 --> 00:19:55,476
gonna have fun.
I don't want to play games in
499
00:19:55,478 --> 00:19:56,299
your van.
It's a secret between
500
00:19:56,419 --> 00:19:57,525
me and you, that's it.
No one has to know.
501
00:19:57,645 --> 00:19:59,854
You sick bastard!
(both grunt)
502
00:20:04,420 --> 00:20:07,316
Hey, Pete, it's Andre.
Trade go through?
503
00:20:07,436 --> 00:20:09,870
The trade did go through.
With Ted.
504
00:20:09,872 --> 00:20:11,833
What?
But I did all those chores and
505
00:20:11,953 --> 00:20:12,997
favors.
I helped clear your head.
506
00:20:13,113 --> 00:20:15,313
I don't make trades with
alleged sex offenders.
507
00:20:15,315 --> 00:20:17,275
And you did clear my head.
I really appreciate it.
508
00:20:17,285 --> 00:20:19,951
And once my head was clear, I
realized that was a terrible trade.
509
00:20:19,953 --> 00:20:22,120
Well, can you at least bail
me out of jail?
510
00:20:22,122 --> 00:20:23,802
(whispers): Pete, they're
monsters in here.
511
00:20:23,868 --> 00:20:25,598
They used part of my scarf as
toilet paper.
512
00:20:25,718 --> 00:20:28,758
You know what. I'm totally underwater right now.
I'm slogging through e-mails.
513
00:20:28,806 --> 00:20:31,006
Maybe later this afternoon,
okay?
514
00:20:31,008 --> 00:20:33,441
Hello? Hello?
515
00:20:34,633 --> 00:20:37,241
You realize you're literally
doing what a dog does right now?
516
00:20:37,361 --> 00:20:40,526
Yeah. Jenny will never look in here.
Ooh, Ding Dongs.
517
00:20:40,646 --> 00:20:42,095
Hey! Get your own pot.
518
00:20:42,663 --> 00:20:53,056
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
519
00:20:53,106 --> 00:20:57,656
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
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