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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,020 --> 00:00:04,421 RUXIN: I like how your wife doesn't make us use coasters. 2 00:00:04,489 --> 00:00:07,124 KEVIN: She actually does, so can you please do it? Thanks. 3 00:00:07,192 --> 00:00:08,192 PETE: Jeez. 4 00:00:08,260 --> 00:00:09,093 All right. Fine. 5 00:00:09,160 --> 00:00:09,960 Here you go. 6 00:00:10,028 --> 00:00:11,328 A little coaster. 7 00:00:11,396 --> 00:00:14,031 Oh... (Ruxin chuckling) 8 00:00:14,099 --> 00:00:15,199 Oh, wow. 9 00:00:15,267 --> 00:00:16,033 Really? 10 00:00:16,101 --> 00:00:17,401 Weight Training for Dummies? 11 00:00:17,469 --> 00:00:19,203 I'm getting a home gym. 12 00:00:19,271 --> 00:00:21,071 And apparently, you're not ashamed to admit you know 13 00:00:21,139 --> 00:00:22,373 absolutely nothing about it. 14 00:00:22,440 --> 00:00:23,173 Yeah. What? 15 00:00:23,241 --> 00:00:24,041 I'm not Chuck Norris. 16 00:00:24,109 --> 00:00:26,010 I don't know about a home gym, so I get the book. 17 00:00:26,077 --> 00:00:28,479 Usually we have to root around for your shortcomings 18 00:00:28,546 --> 00:00:31,482 like a pig hunting for truffles, but this is just right in front 19 00:00:31,549 --> 00:00:32,416 of our faces. 20 00:00:32,484 --> 00:00:33,984 I like the books. 21 00:00:34,052 --> 00:00:35,185 They make things simple. 22 00:00:35,253 --> 00:00:37,655 Uh... Did you just say "books"? 23 00:00:37,722 --> 00:00:38,989 (whistles) 24 00:00:39,057 --> 00:00:40,057 That's a lot of books. 25 00:00:40,125 --> 00:00:41,558 I thought these were all Yellow Pages. 26 00:00:41,626 --> 00:00:43,193 Why would I keep Yellow Pages? 27 00:00:43,261 --> 00:00:45,729 Why would you keep a stack of "How I'm a Dummy" books 28 00:00:45,797 --> 00:00:47,031 everywhere? 29 00:00:47,098 --> 00:00:49,433 Because this is my own personal research library. 30 00:00:49,501 --> 00:00:50,768 Stretching for Dummies. 31 00:00:50,835 --> 00:00:51,769 Yeah. 32 00:00:51,836 --> 00:00:53,704 Holiday Entertaining for Dummies. 33 00:00:53,772 --> 00:00:55,639 Those things are high- pressure situations. 34 00:00:55,707 --> 00:00:57,141 Cryptography for Dummies. 35 00:00:57,208 --> 00:00:57,641 Three seconds. 36 00:00:57,709 --> 00:00:58,609 What is cryptography? 37 00:00:58,677 --> 00:00:59,376 You know what? 38 00:00:59,444 --> 00:01:00,277 That one came in a set. 39 00:01:00,345 --> 00:01:01,312 Let's see what else. 40 00:01:01,379 --> 00:01:03,247 Oh, Kevin. 41 00:01:03,315 --> 00:01:04,281 Law for Dummies? 42 00:01:04,349 --> 00:01:05,282 I should have hid that one. 43 00:01:05,350 --> 00:01:07,017 You're a lawyer, Kevin. 44 00:01:07,085 --> 00:01:08,986 It's full of common sense legal advice. 45 00:01:09,054 --> 00:01:10,487 Jesus. 46 00:01:10,555 --> 00:01:13,590 Oh... Mexico's Beach Resorts for Dummies. 47 00:01:13,658 --> 00:01:14,591 Oh. 48 00:01:14,659 --> 00:01:16,293 How hard is it to hang out on a beach in Mexico? 49 00:01:16,361 --> 00:01:18,228 Is there a How to Hide Your Glaring Lack of Knowledge from 50 00:01:18,296 --> 00:01:19,129 Your Friends for Dummies? 51 00:01:19,197 --> 00:01:22,166 'Cause that's one you should have bought. 52 00:01:22,286 --> 00:01:25,684 Sync by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 53 00:01:25,804 --> 00:01:27,237 Oh, come on, Andre. 54 00:01:27,305 --> 00:01:28,238 You're not really a doctor. 55 00:01:28,306 --> 00:01:29,406 ANDRE: Uh, I am a doctor. 56 00:01:29,474 --> 00:01:31,008 Andre, cut the shit, all right? 57 00:01:31,076 --> 00:01:31,508 It's just us. 58 00:01:31,576 --> 00:01:32,443 There's no girls around. 59 00:01:32,510 --> 00:01:34,311 You're-you're barely a doctor. 60 00:01:34,379 --> 00:01:35,346 I save lives. 61 00:01:35,413 --> 00:01:36,513 I make people look better. 62 00:01:36,581 --> 00:01:37,348 Oh, my God. 63 00:01:37,415 --> 00:01:38,649 TACO: Oh, speaking of which, um... 64 00:01:38,717 --> 00:01:39,583 Do you have any time this week? 65 00:01:39,651 --> 00:01:40,584 I need a haircut. 66 00:01:40,652 --> 00:01:41,752 I'm not a barber. 67 00:01:41,820 --> 00:01:43,987 I could give you a hair replacement. 68 00:01:44,055 --> 00:01:45,522 These week-two match-ups are killing me. 69 00:01:45,590 --> 00:01:47,257 Yeah, you've got Kevin this week, man. 70 00:01:47,325 --> 00:01:48,092 He's stacked. 71 00:01:48,159 --> 00:01:49,693 You got any advice as to what I should do? 72 00:01:49,761 --> 00:01:50,527 Yeah. 73 00:01:50,595 --> 00:01:52,096 Definitely. 74 00:01:52,163 --> 00:01:54,131 What, you want me to tell you? 75 00:01:54,199 --> 00:01:55,399 (laughing) 76 00:01:55,467 --> 00:01:56,533 Are you crazy? 77 00:01:56,601 --> 00:01:58,168 Well, here's what I'm thinking. 78 00:01:58,236 --> 00:01:59,069 I got to throw a Hail Mary. 79 00:01:59,137 --> 00:02:01,271 I'm going to put Josh Cribbs in as my flex and hope that he runs 80 00:02:01,339 --> 00:02:02,973 one back against Kansas City. 81 00:02:03,041 --> 00:02:04,208 Wow. 82 00:02:04,275 --> 00:02:05,109 That's creative. 83 00:02:05,176 --> 00:02:07,111 It's my only option, honestly. 84 00:02:07,178 --> 00:02:08,170 You know what is not an option? 85 00:02:08,290 --> 00:02:10,389 My law firm is making me do community service again. 86 00:02:10,509 --> 00:02:11,715 What is it this time? 87 00:02:11,835 --> 00:02:13,649 They're sending me to a hospital that helps 88 00:02:13,769 --> 00:02:15,519 Make-A-Wish kid's dream come true. 89 00:02:15,587 --> 00:02:17,388 Well, I think you'll be making his dream come true when 90 00:02:17,455 --> 00:02:19,289 you actually leave, but sounds fun. 91 00:02:19,357 --> 00:02:21,158 If, God forbid, someone went down right now in this bar. 92 00:02:21,226 --> 00:02:22,159 Okay. 93 00:02:22,227 --> 00:02:24,027 What would be your first course of action? 94 00:02:24,095 --> 00:02:26,196 Establish age and sex of the patient. 95 00:02:26,264 --> 00:02:27,398 103 years old, male. 96 00:02:27,465 --> 00:02:28,165 Probably old age. 97 00:02:28,233 --> 00:02:29,700 I'm not going to waste time on them. 98 00:02:29,768 --> 00:02:30,401 Oh, my God. 99 00:02:30,468 --> 00:02:31,135 See? Exactly. 100 00:02:31,202 --> 00:02:33,604 A normal doctor would have tried to help the person. 101 00:02:33,671 --> 00:02:34,972 I save lives. 102 00:02:35,039 --> 00:02:37,307 When these women come into my practice, some of them are 103 00:02:37,375 --> 00:02:38,976 really down on their bodies. 104 00:02:39,043 --> 00:02:40,577 You're doing the Lord's work, buddy. 105 00:02:40,645 --> 00:02:41,311 Thank you. 106 00:02:41,379 --> 00:02:42,045 I know I am. 107 00:02:42,113 --> 00:02:42,679 Okay. 108 00:02:42,747 --> 00:02:44,248 You guys might find this interesting. 109 00:02:44,315 --> 00:02:45,983 Well, I think that's an assumption. 110 00:02:46,050 --> 00:02:49,119 I am thinking of expanding my practice. 111 00:02:49,187 --> 00:02:50,454 I met this doctor, Dr. Maxwell. 112 00:02:50,522 --> 00:02:51,722 Real class act. 113 00:02:51,790 --> 00:02:54,057 Is he, uh... Is he black? 114 00:02:54,125 --> 00:02:55,125 How did you know? 115 00:02:55,193 --> 00:02:57,694 Nine times out of ten, when a sportscaster is referring to 116 00:02:57,762 --> 00:02:58,729 someone as a "class act," 117 00:02:58,797 --> 00:03:00,998 they're talking about a head coach who's black. 118 00:03:01,065 --> 00:03:01,565 Mm-hmm. 119 00:03:01,633 --> 00:03:02,266 Tony Dungy. 120 00:03:02,333 --> 00:03:03,100 What a class act. 121 00:03:03,168 --> 00:03:03,667 Total. 122 00:03:03,735 --> 00:03:04,968 Lovie Smith. 123 00:03:05,036 --> 00:03:06,036 Class act. 124 00:03:06,104 --> 00:03:06,970 Class act. 125 00:03:07,038 --> 00:03:08,138 I never noticed that. 126 00:03:08,206 --> 00:03:09,973 I mean, that happens all the time. 127 00:03:10,041 --> 00:03:10,974 It's not just football. 128 00:03:11,042 --> 00:03:13,343 Sportscasters use these code words in all of the sports. 129 00:03:13,411 --> 00:03:16,246 Uh, if they're talking about a Latino player in baseball, like 130 00:03:16,314 --> 00:03:18,582 Ozzie Guillen is, a... Firecracker. 131 00:03:18,650 --> 00:03:19,283 Firecracker. 132 00:03:19,350 --> 00:03:20,918 Latin guys are always "firecracker." 133 00:03:20,985 --> 00:03:21,652 Spark plug. 134 00:03:21,719 --> 00:03:23,120 Spark plug in the clubhouse. 135 00:03:23,188 --> 00:03:23,620 Mm-hmm. 136 00:03:23,688 --> 00:03:27,124 Wes Welker is, like, a gym rat, a real scrappy player. 137 00:03:27,192 --> 00:03:28,959 Yeah, which is code word for white. 138 00:03:29,027 --> 00:03:29,927 Always a white guy. 139 00:03:29,994 --> 00:03:34,431 Ichiro Suzuki is... Inscrutable. 140 00:03:34,499 --> 00:03:35,599 Yes. 141 00:03:35,667 --> 00:03:36,333 There you go. 142 00:03:36,401 --> 00:03:38,602 All right, well, this is exactly what I don't want to be. 143 00:03:38,670 --> 00:03:40,637 I don't want to be racist. 144 00:03:40,705 --> 00:03:42,706 I don't know what's racist and what's not racist. 145 00:03:42,774 --> 00:03:43,574 Neither do I. 146 00:03:43,641 --> 00:03:45,309 So, call him African American, then? 147 00:03:45,376 --> 00:03:46,243 No, you can say "black." 148 00:03:46,311 --> 00:03:47,110 I'm not offended. 149 00:03:47,178 --> 00:03:48,078 Why would you be offended? 150 00:03:48,146 --> 00:03:49,413 I'm half black. 151 00:03:49,481 --> 00:03:52,049 Mom is Italian. 152 00:03:52,116 --> 00:03:52,649 Oh, I know. 153 00:03:52,717 --> 00:03:54,051 I'm black on the inside. 154 00:03:54,118 --> 00:03:55,152 What are you up here? 155 00:03:55,220 --> 00:03:57,454 A race car driver. 156 00:03:57,522 --> 00:03:58,655 What lap are you on? 157 00:03:58,723 --> 00:04:00,390 33. 158 00:04:00,458 --> 00:04:02,493 Uh, anyone want to go see a movie tonight? Pete? 159 00:04:02,560 --> 00:04:03,260 No, I'm good. 160 00:04:03,328 --> 00:04:04,127 I got a date tonight. 161 00:04:04,195 --> 00:04:05,629 You going out with Brooke again? 162 00:04:05,697 --> 00:04:06,630 Yep. 163 00:04:06,698 --> 00:04:07,631 You all cool with that? 164 00:04:07,699 --> 00:04:08,565 Yeah, that's fine. 165 00:04:08,633 --> 00:04:09,433 It was ages ago. 166 00:04:09,501 --> 00:04:11,869 You don't mind having sex with someone that Kevin has also 167 00:04:11,936 --> 00:04:13,070 had sex with? 168 00:04:13,137 --> 00:04:15,172 No, I mean, it's basically like a public bathroom. 169 00:04:15,240 --> 00:04:17,140 Do I know people who have been in there? 170 00:04:17,208 --> 00:04:17,941 Sure. 171 00:04:18,009 --> 00:04:19,409 But I like to pretend I'm the first. 172 00:04:19,477 --> 00:04:20,477 Oh, yeah. 173 00:04:20,545 --> 00:04:22,312 'Cause you guys are Eskimo brothers. 174 00:04:22,380 --> 00:04:23,080 (clicking tongue) 175 00:04:23,147 --> 00:04:24,948 Now, if you could just get rid of this pesky girl, the two 176 00:04:25,016 --> 00:04:27,661 of you guys could be in th igloo all by yourselves, 177 00:04:28,073 --> 00:04:30,375 - Use some ** for lube. - Thank you. 178 00:04:30,495 --> 00:04:33,090 What was her nickname in high school? She was in your class, right, Taco? 179 00:04:33,157 --> 00:04:33,657 What did you call her? 180 00:04:33,725 --> 00:04:35,459 Was she a gym rat or a spark plug? 181 00:04:35,527 --> 00:04:36,627 No, she had a funny name. 182 00:04:36,694 --> 00:04:38,562 It was, um... The White Knuckler. 183 00:04:38,630 --> 00:04:39,930 Oh, right. 184 00:04:39,998 --> 00:04:41,965 'Cause when she gave you a hand job, she'd squeeze so tight, you 185 00:04:42,033 --> 00:04:43,634 could actually see the whites of her knuckles. 186 00:04:43,701 --> 00:04:44,635 Yup. 187 00:04:44,702 --> 00:04:46,537 I can't speak to what happened in the past, but I can 188 00:04:46,604 --> 00:04:48,605 assure you, she's worked out all the kinks since, okay? 189 00:04:48,673 --> 00:04:49,673 Old habits die hard. 190 00:04:49,741 --> 00:04:51,408 I got to get out of here, guys. 191 00:04:51,476 --> 00:04:52,309 I have to leave, too. 192 00:04:52,377 --> 00:04:53,610 I have a martial arts class. 193 00:04:53,678 --> 00:04:54,978 Ooh. Looky, looky. 194 00:04:55,046 --> 00:04:55,979 Really? 195 00:04:56,047 --> 00:04:56,480 Really, yeah. 196 00:04:56,548 --> 00:04:57,314 I really enjoy it. 197 00:04:57,382 --> 00:05:00,617 It teaches me focus, discipline, and focus. 198 00:05:00,685 --> 00:05:05,489 Uh, that's your third beer, Taco. 199 00:05:08,026 --> 00:05:10,294 Namaste, Taco. 200 00:05:12,330 --> 00:05:15,532 You've se Kevin and he's cool with the whole... us? 201 00:05:15,600 --> 00:05:16,833 Totally cool with it. 202 00:05:16,901 --> 00:05:18,235 Yeah? That's good. 203 00:05:18,303 --> 00:05:20,938 Yeah, I mean, I'm cool with it, and I'm glad you can bring 204 00:05:21,005 --> 00:05:22,573 it up, and it sounds like you're cool with it. 205 00:05:22,640 --> 00:05:23,540 I'm totally cool with it. 206 00:05:23,608 --> 00:05:24,441 And I think we're cool. 207 00:05:24,509 --> 00:05:25,876 Oh. 208 00:05:25,944 --> 00:05:28,211 (smooching) 209 00:05:28,279 --> 00:05:29,212 All right. 210 00:05:29,280 --> 00:05:30,213 (chuckles) 211 00:05:30,281 --> 00:05:31,615 So, what's Kevin been up to? 212 00:05:31,683 --> 00:05:34,918 He's got this home gym obsession right now. 213 00:05:34,986 --> 00:05:36,420 So I'm going to go work out over there. 214 00:05:36,487 --> 00:05:37,120 What? 215 00:05:37,188 --> 00:05:39,089 Oh, yeah, he's... Kevin has a home gym? 216 00:05:39,157 --> 00:05:40,557 Yeah, he... Oh, that's right. 217 00:05:40,625 --> 00:05:41,258 I forgot. 218 00:05:41,326 --> 00:05:43,193 You haven't seen him in, like... It was almost ten years ago, 219 00:05:43,261 --> 00:05:45,929 and he had, like... Yeah, he had that, like, flabby 220 00:05:45,997 --> 00:05:48,165 thing on his arm and he was... Wait, wait. 221 00:05:48,232 --> 00:05:49,166 Under here, by the way. 222 00:05:49,233 --> 00:05:50,167 Look, he was a pudgy guy. 223 00:05:50,234 --> 00:05:51,501 I mean... We all make mistakes. 224 00:05:51,569 --> 00:05:52,202 We do. 225 00:05:52,270 --> 00:05:56,073 That was a long time ago, so... I remember, in high school, 226 00:05:56,140 --> 00:05:57,908 always thinking... To his credit, he had, like, a 227 00:05:57,976 --> 00:06:00,043 really pretty cock. 228 00:06:00,111 --> 00:06:00,978 Excuse me? 229 00:06:01,045 --> 00:06:04,147 I just feel like the male anatomy is always so sort of 230 00:06:04,215 --> 00:06:06,350 grotesque, and it's like watching a science fiction film 231 00:06:06,417 --> 00:06:07,217 down there. 232 00:06:07,285 --> 00:06:09,086 But he had, like... He had, like a really pretty 233 00:06:09,153 --> 00:06:10,954 cock and cute balls. 234 00:06:11,022 --> 00:06:13,357 It was, like, a really elegant package, to be honest. 235 00:06:13,424 --> 00:06:16,493 Hmm. Um... I just, like, realized that 236 00:06:16,561 --> 00:06:18,362 that's probably, like, not the greatest... 237 00:06:18,429 --> 00:06:20,197 Like, I don't... I don't mean... Oh, no, no. 238 00:06:20,264 --> 00:06:21,898 I didn't mean it in, like, a weird way. 239 00:06:21,966 --> 00:06:24,067 That was just something that I... Totally fine with it. 240 00:06:24,135 --> 00:06:25,068 I'm not thinking about it. 241 00:06:25,136 --> 00:06:27,037 You're clearly thinking about his penis. 242 00:06:27,105 --> 00:06:29,473 You're not... I mean... I am not thinking about Kevin's penis. 243 00:06:29,540 --> 00:06:32,609 That's not... That's not even... It's not something for us to think about. 244 00:06:32,677 --> 00:06:36,749 Mm-mmm. No. We don't even need to even think about it. 245 00:06:38,316 --> 00:06:40,350 I feel like you're still thinking about it. 246 00:06:40,418 --> 00:06:42,352 A little bit. 247 00:06:44,952 --> 00:06:46,489 So, Colin, what do you think? 248 00:06:46,609 --> 00:06:48,387 Let's get this wish thing happening. 249 00:06:48,454 --> 00:06:49,154 What do you want? 250 00:06:49,222 --> 00:06:51,757 Um, I want to meet a pro football player. 251 00:06:51,824 --> 00:06:55,160 Okay. I want to meet a pro football player. 252 00:06:56,104 --> 00:07:01,967 In fact, I have a roster of pro football players that we can meet. 253 00:07:02,035 --> 00:07:04,269 Huh-ho. 254 00:07:04,337 --> 00:07:06,772 Well, I want to meet my favorite player, Baltimore 255 00:07:06,839 --> 00:07:07,806 linebacker Terrell Suggs. 256 00:07:07,874 --> 00:07:10,008 Well, he's a defensive player, and I don't even have 257 00:07:10,076 --> 00:07:12,578 that defense, so that's not happening. 258 00:07:12,645 --> 00:07:17,983 But I do have Josh Cribbs, Cleveland Browns' kick returner? 259 00:07:18,051 --> 00:07:18,884 I don't know. 260 00:07:18,952 --> 00:07:20,052 Terrell Suggs is my wish. 261 00:07:20,119 --> 00:07:22,788 Yeah, well, my wish was for a house on Nantucket and the 262 00:07:22,855 --> 00:07:25,023 respect of my peers, but we get what we get. 263 00:07:25,091 --> 00:07:26,592 You're from Baltimore, huh? 264 00:07:26,659 --> 00:07:27,125 Yup. 265 00:07:27,193 --> 00:07:28,260 You watch The Wire? 266 00:07:28,328 --> 00:07:29,595 No. 267 00:07:29,662 --> 00:07:30,762 Oh, show's brutal. 268 00:07:30,830 --> 00:07:33,131 You should check it out on Blu-ray. 269 00:07:33,199 --> 00:07:34,099 Come on! Josh Cribbs! 270 00:07:34,167 --> 00:07:36,368 All-time leading NFL kick returner. 271 00:07:36,436 --> 00:07:38,136 I guess that's pretty cool. 272 00:07:38,204 --> 00:07:39,204 We got a deal? 273 00:07:39,272 --> 00:07:40,205 Let's do this. 274 00:07:40,273 --> 00:07:41,373 What is this? 275 00:07:41,441 --> 00:07:42,708 This is pretty depressing stuff. 276 00:07:42,775 --> 00:07:43,875 Yeah. 277 00:07:43,943 --> 00:07:46,225 You're going through some shit, huh? 278 00:07:47,714 --> 00:07:48,647 Josh Cribbs! 279 00:07:48,715 --> 00:07:50,816 You're gonna meet Josh Cribbs? 280 00:07:50,883 --> 00:07:52,951 No. Not only am I gonna meet him. 281 00:07:53,019 --> 00:07:54,953 I'm going to be able to ask him to make my wish come true. 282 00:07:55,021 --> 00:07:57,055 You mean, the kid's wish come true, Ruxin. 283 00:07:57,123 --> 00:07:58,863 Melanoma, melanamea. 284 00:07:59,024 --> 00:08:00,353 - All right? - Really? 285 00:08:00,473 --> 00:08:03,958 Yeah. I'm gonna be able to say to him, "I know this poor sick kid 286 00:08:04,078 --> 00:08:08,009 and his wish is for you to have the game of a lifetime this weekend. 287 00:08:08,129 --> 00:08:12,189 If you don't return two kickoffs for touchdowns, maybe a buck 50 288 00:08:12,309 --> 00:08:15,875 multipurpose yards, this poor little kid's gonna die disappointed. 289 00:08:15,995 --> 00:08:18,390 Can you do that for me, Josh Cribbs?" 290 00:08:18,577 --> 00:08:22,165 "Yeah, I can do that for you, Ruxin, but only if you go Jet Skiing with me." 291 00:08:22,285 --> 00:08:23,853 "Okay, Cribbs, I can do that." 292 00:08:23,973 --> 00:08:25,312 I'm gonna crush you this weekend. 293 00:08:25,432 --> 00:08:26,704 How do you even sleep at night? 294 00:08:26,824 --> 00:08:28,759 Usually on my side with a pillow between my legs. 295 00:08:28,879 --> 00:08:31,530 Ellie, can you please be careful up there?! Thank you. 296 00:08:31,650 --> 00:08:32,473 Hey, guys. 297 00:08:32,593 --> 00:08:34,395 Jesus, what the... What are you doing?! 298 00:08:34,515 --> 00:08:35,746 What is that? 299 00:08:35,866 --> 00:08:38,060 What? It's a short-sleeved plaid shirt. I've worn it before. 300 00:08:38,180 --> 00:08:39,832 Not the... The gigantic spear you brought. 301 00:08:39,952 --> 00:08:42,785 Oh, it's for my martial arts class. It's a naginata. 302 00:08:42,905 --> 00:08:46,793 Speclizing in the art of wielding the naginata, known as the naginatajutsu. 303 00:08:46,913 --> 00:08:47,791 Jesus! 304 00:08:47,911 --> 00:08:49,536 Okay, relax, man. 305 00:08:49,656 --> 00:08:52,217 No. Put it away, Taco. This is a park. 306 00:08:52,337 --> 00:08:54,693 - There are little kids. - It's ok, look, no one's around. 307 00:08:54,813 --> 00:08:56,311 I'm not gonna hurt... Whoa! 308 00:08:56,431 --> 00:08:57,253 Oh, my God! 309 00:08:57,373 --> 00:08:58,917 You cut the doll's head off. 310 00:08:58,985 --> 00:09:01,520 You were a worthy opponent, little one, but no one survives 311 00:09:01,587 --> 00:09:03,284 the wrath of my blade. 312 00:09:03,404 --> 00:09:04,317 Put it away. 313 00:09:04,437 --> 00:09:05,023 What? 314 00:09:05,091 --> 00:09:06,401 Put it away, and get out of here. 315 00:09:06,521 --> 00:09:07,724 All right, fine. 316 00:09:07,844 --> 00:09:09,227 (speaking foreign language) 317 00:09:09,295 --> 00:09:10,595 What does that mean? 318 00:09:10,663 --> 00:09:13,932 That's made up Japanese for, "I'm gonna go get high right now." 319 00:09:14,000 --> 00:09:15,100 (Taco makes silly sound) 320 00:09:15,168 --> 00:09:17,035 Oh, God. 321 00:09:17,103 --> 00:09:18,737 (motor revving) 322 00:09:21,158 --> 00:09:22,875 Did you start a legal fund for him yet? 323 00:09:23,269 --> 00:09:24,915 Can't we just plead frittata? 324 00:09:25,035 --> 00:09:26,392 There is a precedent for it. 325 00:09:26,512 --> 00:09:28,520 Yeah! (yells and whoops) 326 00:09:28,640 --> 00:09:31,010 I want to tell you what my ten-year plan is. 327 00:09:31,130 --> 00:09:34,972 I'm a doctor, but I also need to be a personality. 328 00:09:35,092 --> 00:09:38,557 Those guys that are on that show Doctors... Love it. 329 00:09:38,624 --> 00:09:39,691 Well, me, too. 330 00:09:39,759 --> 00:09:41,026 They're making a mint. 331 00:09:41,094 --> 00:09:42,094 And you know why? 332 00:09:42,161 --> 00:09:43,562 They put their face on a cream. 333 00:09:43,629 --> 00:09:45,831 They've put their face on an ointment. 334 00:09:45,898 --> 00:09:47,966 It's all about becoming the authority. 335 00:09:48,034 --> 00:09:51,269 I want to become the Sanjay Gupta of plastic surgery. 336 00:09:51,337 --> 00:09:52,604 Right. 337 00:09:52,672 --> 00:09:55,140 You know, what Halliburton does for weapons, I want to do 338 00:09:55,208 --> 00:09:56,308 for dermabrasion. 339 00:09:56,375 --> 00:09:57,709 You know what I mean? 340 00:09:57,777 --> 00:10:00,312 I want to be the Pinkberry of plastic surgery. 341 00:10:00,379 --> 00:10:02,355 I love that. I love that. 342 00:10:02,475 --> 00:10:05,050 I mean, that's one of the reasons I agreed to meet with you today si 343 00:10:05,289 --> 00:10:09,635 it seems to me like you and I... we have the same mind for things. 344 00:10:09,680 --> 00:10:13,631 What I love about you is that you can open up doors. 345 00:10:13,751 --> 00:10:17,074 I mean, when people see your face, you know, it can really 346 00:10:17,194 --> 00:10:23,665 - get a wider kind of, you know, patient base and... - Diversify. 347 00:10:24,498 --> 00:10:26,088 Is that... Is that the word you're looking for, or...? 348 00:10:26,208 --> 00:10:29,001 No, no, no, no, I did not... I did not say that. 349 00:10:29,121 --> 00:10:35,883 I didn't. I don't...I don't like diversity, 'cause it is... racist. 350 00:10:36,003 --> 00:10:37,616 You're not a fan of diversity, or...? 351 00:10:37,683 --> 00:10:39,918 I... I'm not talking about putting that out there. 352 00:10:39,986 --> 00:10:41,086 I'm colorblind. 353 00:10:41,154 --> 00:10:44,370 I had a lot of black friends when I was growing up. 354 00:10:44,490 --> 00:10:47,094 You know, like-like, one of my best friends, Percy. 355 00:10:47,214 --> 00:10:47,926 Percy? 356 00:10:47,994 --> 00:10:49,094 Percy, yeah. 357 00:10:49,162 --> 00:10:51,433 His mom made great food. 358 00:10:51,553 --> 00:10:54,640 You'd spend the night... Yeah, yeah. 359 00:10:54,760 --> 00:10:55,984 You'd spend the night? 360 00:10:56,336 --> 00:10:59,944 I didn't spend nights there, because my parents didn't like 361 00:11:00,064 --> 00:11:01,168 the part of town that he lived in. 362 00:11:01,288 --> 00:11:02,449 Where is Percy now? 363 00:11:03,022 --> 00:11:04,042 (whispers): He's in prison. 364 00:11:04,309 --> 00:11:05,610 - Yeah. - Oh. 365 00:11:05,678 --> 00:11:09,922 Um... yeah, I'm gonna write that down. I'm gonna send a care package to him. 366 00:11:11,174 --> 00:11:12,951 Watch my form. See, I don't break my wrist. 367 00:11:13,019 --> 00:11:13,952 I saw it. 368 00:11:14,020 --> 00:11:14,953 (Kevin groaning) 369 00:11:15,021 --> 00:11:16,121 Come on. Watch! 370 00:11:16,189 --> 00:11:17,222 You got to watch my form! 371 00:11:17,290 --> 00:11:19,791 I'm watching. I... That's the key. 372 00:11:19,859 --> 00:11:21,726 Oh, God. Ugh! 373 00:11:21,794 --> 00:11:22,894 All right, let's hit those pecs. 374 00:11:22,962 --> 00:11:24,062 All right, fine. 375 00:11:24,130 --> 00:11:25,230 God, let's do the bench. 376 00:11:25,298 --> 00:11:27,732 I'll spot you, and you spot... No spot, please. 377 00:11:27,800 --> 00:11:28,733 Yes. No, no, no. 378 00:11:28,801 --> 00:11:30,836 Weight Training for Dummies says, safety first. 379 00:11:30,903 --> 00:11:32,838 Look, I don't give a shit what it says. You go curl. 380 00:11:32,905 --> 00:11:35,841 I don't need a spot... I'm on posture patrol, all right? 381 00:11:35,908 --> 00:11:38,009 I don't care what patrol you're on. I'm... 382 00:11:38,077 --> 00:11:39,044 Don't make me sit on you! 383 00:11:39,111 --> 00:11:39,978 All right. 384 00:11:40,046 --> 00:11:41,146 All right, I got it. 385 00:11:41,214 --> 00:11:42,147 I'm fine. 386 00:11:42,215 --> 00:11:43,181 Here we go. Open your eyes. 387 00:11:43,249 --> 00:11:44,349 No, I'm good closed. 388 00:11:44,417 --> 00:11:46,852 No. Weight Training for Dummies specifically says you 389 00:11:46,919 --> 00:11:47,786 have to open your eyes. 390 00:11:47,854 --> 00:11:48,954 I don't want to. Ugh! 391 00:11:49,021 --> 00:11:49,955 Oh, God! Ugh! 392 00:11:50,022 --> 00:11:51,122 One, two, three. 393 00:11:51,190 --> 00:11:52,290 Push, push. 394 00:11:52,358 --> 00:11:53,358 You look at me. 395 00:11:53,426 --> 00:11:54,693 We'll get through this together. 396 00:11:54,760 --> 00:11:55,727 Push, come on. 397 00:11:55,795 --> 00:11:56,661 Ooh, ooh, ooh. 398 00:11:56,729 --> 00:11:57,796 I can't do... I can't do it. 399 00:11:57,864 --> 00:11:58,964 Aw, come on, man. 400 00:11:59,031 --> 00:11:59,898 You can do it. 401 00:11:59,966 --> 00:12:00,932 No, I can't. I'm sorry. 402 00:12:01,000 --> 00:12:01,967 What's the problem? 403 00:12:02,034 --> 00:12:04,302 There's no problem. I just... (Kevin laughs) 404 00:12:07,711 --> 00:12:10,074 - She told you about my pretty cock. - No. 405 00:12:09,275 --> 00:12:10,193 No! 406 00:12:10,194 --> 00:12:11,002 Yes! 407 00:12:11,122 --> 00:12:13,183 That's what this whole thing is. 408 00:12:13,303 --> 00:12:15,998 You couldn't look at me before, you're weird right now. 409 00:12:16,882 --> 00:12:18,863 - I have a pretty cock. - Don't say that, okay? 410 00:12:18,983 --> 00:12:21,658 I don't want to spend any more time thinking about or 411 00:12:21,659 --> 00:12:26,091 visualizing what your PC may or may not look like, okay? 412 00:12:26,211 --> 00:12:27,142 Just do me a favor. Do you know what I'm saying? 413 00:12:27,262 --> 00:12:28,187 My eyes are up here. 414 00:12:28,307 --> 00:12:30,572 I'm-I'm looking right...Just please look me in the eyes. I'm not a piece of meat. 415 00:12:31,330 --> 00:12:32,630 Thank you. 416 00:12:35,289 --> 00:12:36,555 Focus. 417 00:12:36,907 --> 00:12:39,271 Focus, focus, focus. 418 00:12:40,975 --> 00:12:42,288 You're playing terribly. 419 00:12:42,724 --> 00:12:44,314 Can I ask you some advice? 420 00:12:44,553 --> 00:12:45,453 Yeah. 421 00:12:45,693 --> 00:12:47,659 I have no idea who to start this week. 422 00:12:47,660 --> 00:12:50,353 I-I... I picked up, you know, Ryan Grant. 423 00:12:50,473 --> 00:12:51,303 He's injured. 424 00:12:51,584 --> 00:12:52,477 You know that, right? 425 00:12:52,597 --> 00:12:53,408 What?! 426 00:12:53,528 --> 00:12:56,306 God damn it. I'm... Man, I'm losing my mojo, and 427 00:12:56,426 --> 00:12:59,828 it is all about Kevin's pretty little cock. 428 00:13:01,069 --> 00:13:04,562 So you're saying that Kevin's beautiful cock is tearing you up inside? 429 00:13:04,630 --> 00:13:07,165 Yes. 430 00:13:07,233 --> 00:13:09,004 Awful. 431 00:13:09,124 --> 00:13:12,575 Gentlemen, you are looking at a man with a life partner. 432 00:13:12,695 --> 00:13:16,820 Guys, the meeting with Dr. Maxwell went dope, okay? 433 00:13:16,940 --> 00:13:18,381 So good, we're gonna do it. 434 00:13:18,501 --> 00:13:19,619 We're gonna merge practices. 435 00:13:19,739 --> 00:13:23,202 To celebrate, we're gonna have a big old party, Diddy-style, you know? 436 00:13:23,322 --> 00:13:25,151 You know that just 'cause you're working with a black guy 437 00:13:25,271 --> 00:13:26,966 doesn't make you black by association. 438 00:13:27,086 --> 00:13:28,514 - Aye. - Hy, real quick. 439 00:13:28,634 --> 00:13:32,333 In your professional medical opinion, are some penises, say, 440 00:13:32,453 --> 00:13:33,996 prettier than others would be? 441 00:13:34,116 --> 00:13:35,712 Oh, absolutely, yeah. 442 00:13:35,832 --> 00:13:37,259 The one thing you can't fix. 443 00:13:37,379 --> 00:13:38,964 Ugly penis. 444 00:13:42,434 --> 00:13:45,903 Yeah, maybe it's not the stroller's fault, but the people pushing the stroller. 445 00:13:45,970 --> 00:13:47,237 Did you ever think about that? 446 00:13:47,305 --> 00:13:48,405 Oh, okay, I got to go. 447 00:13:48,473 --> 00:13:51,807 I got to go. Oh, Josh Cribbs! 448 00:13:51,927 --> 00:13:54,013 - Rodney? - Yeah. People call me Ruxin. 449 00:13:54,133 --> 00:13:58,028 People are gonna call you a champion for making everybody's dreams come true today. 450 00:13:58,148 --> 00:13:59,351 Thank you. I really appreciate that. 451 00:13:59,471 --> 00:14:01,067 Yeah. Hey, you want to go grab some sushi? 452 00:14:01,094 --> 00:14:01,898 In a hospital? 453 00:14:02,018 --> 00:14:02,869 No, no, no, no. 454 00:14:02,989 --> 00:14:03,783 It's this other place. 455 00:14:03,903 --> 00:14:04,965 Best place in Chicago. 456 00:14:05,085 --> 00:14:06,301 Great sashimi. 457 00:14:06,568 --> 00:14:08,555 Uh, I kind of want to get up and see Colin. 458 00:14:08,675 --> 00:14:10,567 Aw, we got plenty of time to go see Colin. 459 00:14:11,340 --> 00:14:12,911 I... don't think he has a lot of time left. 460 00:14:13,031 --> 00:14:15,767 All right, not enough time for sushi... maybe we run by my 461 00:14:15,799 --> 00:14:17,342 friend's office... Josh Cribbs! 462 00:14:17,462 --> 00:14:18,616 Colin! 463 00:14:18,736 --> 00:14:20,371 - Hey! - How you doing, buddy? 464 00:14:20,491 --> 00:14:21,623 I'm doing good. 465 00:14:21,743 --> 00:14:23,579 Have you ever been to a pro football game? 466 00:14:23,699 --> 00:14:24,662 No, I haven't. 467 00:14:24,782 --> 00:14:27,222 Oh, man, you should come sometime... you'd be my guest. 468 00:14:27,342 --> 00:14:29,103 Oh, really? Bring your whole family. 469 00:14:29,223 --> 00:14:31,410 Really? The whole family? 470 00:14:31,530 --> 00:14:34,890 What are we talking about, boxes, field pass, all-access? 471 00:14:35,010 --> 00:14:36,972 You're kind of freaking the kid out a little bit here. 472 00:14:37,092 --> 00:14:38,182 Nah, he's cool. 473 00:14:38,302 --> 00:14:39,969 You just kind of seem desperate. 474 00:14:40,089 --> 00:14:40,842 You seem desperate. 475 00:14:40,962 --> 00:14:43,489 - Uh, hey, Colin, uh, you want to play catch? - Sure. 476 00:14:43,609 --> 00:14:44,586 Oh, cool. 477 00:14:45,205 --> 00:14:47,519 All right, let me see that cannon. All right, put it right here. 478 00:14:47,997 --> 00:14:49,913 - Ah. Good throw, good throw. - Thanks. 479 00:14:50,033 --> 00:14:51,897 Oh! Troy Polamalu! 480 00:14:52,017 --> 00:14:54,289 Just kidding. Josh Cribbs coming out, spin move! 481 00:14:54,409 --> 00:14:56,795 No, it's not Josh Cribbs. Uh, Josh Cribbs doesn't do that. 482 00:14:56,915 --> 00:14:57,653 Okay. 483 00:14:57,773 --> 00:14:59,102 Hey, dude, we were playing. 484 00:14:59,222 --> 00:15:00,157 Oh, cool, man. 485 00:15:00,734 --> 00:15:01,799 Go play down there. 486 00:15:03,037 --> 00:15:06,995 Uh... (sighs) He's such a courageous little guy, and you've been so amazing with him. 487 00:15:07,115 --> 00:15:09,513 You know, we should spend a little more time hanging out, 488 00:15:09,633 --> 00:15:12,472 maybe we could talk about what to do that's best for Colin. 489 00:15:12,725 --> 00:15:15,026 Actually, my friends are having a party tomorrow night. 490 00:15:15,146 --> 00:15:16,517 It'll be a kickass time. 491 00:15:16,637 --> 00:15:18,927 - You should come hang. - Oh, we gonna invite Colin? 492 00:15:19,264 --> 00:15:21,546 - Ew. He's not gonna be that much fun. - Ruxin. 493 00:15:21,666 --> 00:15:23,389 All right, cool. Yeah, the kid can come. 494 00:15:23,656 --> 00:15:25,902 - You're a real class act, Josh Cribbs. - I appreciate that, man. 495 00:15:26,022 --> 00:15:26,887 Thanks a lot. 496 00:15:27,007 --> 00:15:28,463 Can I... should we do it like that? 497 00:15:28,583 --> 00:15:30,896 Uh... nah, nah, not like that. 498 00:15:31,016 --> 00:15:32,160 Okay. 499 00:15:32,280 --> 00:15:33,484 Thank you. 500 00:15:33,604 --> 00:15:34,738 Oh, this is great. 501 00:15:34,805 --> 00:15:36,106 Guys, good to see you. 502 00:15:36,173 --> 00:15:37,374 All right. How are you? 503 00:15:37,441 --> 00:15:39,376 I like this, I like what's going on. 504 00:15:39,443 --> 00:15:40,677 Cheers to our future. 505 00:15:40,745 --> 00:15:41,811 Success. 506 00:15:41,879 --> 00:15:42,946 Oh, boy. 507 00:15:43,014 --> 00:15:43,980 Oh, my God, Kevin! 508 00:15:44,048 --> 00:15:44,981 (both laughing) 509 00:15:45,049 --> 00:15:45,982 Oh, Brooke. 510 00:15:46,050 --> 00:15:47,083 Yeah, you know Kevin. 511 00:15:47,151 --> 00:15:48,151 Let me get you a drink. 512 00:15:48,219 --> 00:15:51,419 I know, but it's been so long. God, you look... You look great. 513 00:15:51,539 --> 00:15:53,965 - Thank you. - You wanna drink or something? 514 00:15:54,085 --> 00:15:55,878 Yeah, um... 515 00:15:55,998 --> 00:15:57,599 Hey, Rudy, we're just catching up over here. 516 00:15:57,667 --> 00:15:58,728 I haven't seen him in so long. 517 00:15:58,848 --> 00:15:59,865 So what are you, you're married now, right? 518 00:15:59,985 --> 00:16:02,355 I am, yeah, and we have a six-year-old daughter. 519 00:16:02,475 --> 00:16:03,753 That blows my mind. 520 00:16:03,873 --> 00:16:05,142 Yeah, she's Ellie. She's so perfectly formed. 521 00:16:05,262 --> 00:16:06,915 Oh, that's sweet. 522 00:16:07,035 --> 00:16:07,942 Pretty. 523 00:16:08,062 --> 00:16:10,604 Uh, oh, uh, guys? 524 00:16:11,076 --> 00:16:14,442 "Whites only. Strictly enforced." 525 00:16:14,822 --> 00:16:16,243 Do you think he knows? 526 00:16:16,363 --> 00:16:18,074 Guys! Welcome... Nah. 527 00:16:18,194 --> 00:16:20,494 ...to Andre's white party. 528 00:16:20,614 --> 00:16:22,618 We have an amazing night planned. 529 00:16:22,753 --> 00:16:25,689 Taco is going to be performing later in the evening, and Dr. 530 00:16:25,756 --> 00:16:29,793 Maxwell brought some of his... clientele, so mingle. 531 00:16:29,860 --> 00:16:32,028 Hey, sheriff from the Deep South. 532 00:16:32,096 --> 00:16:33,496 Hey, partner! 533 00:16:33,564 --> 00:16:36,466 Oh, uh, when are the German shepherds and the firehoses coming? 534 00:16:36,534 --> 00:16:37,300 Wh-What? 535 00:16:37,368 --> 00:16:39,569 It's racist. 536 00:16:39,637 --> 00:16:43,494 Oh. No, no, no, I meant... I meant clothing. 537 00:16:45,576 --> 00:16:48,078 It's clothing. It's clothing. 538 00:16:48,145 --> 00:16:49,846 You guys are class acts. 539 00:16:49,914 --> 00:16:50,814 Thanks for coming. 540 00:16:50,881 --> 00:16:51,948 It's clothing. 541 00:16:52,016 --> 00:16:53,483 It's clothing. 542 00:16:53,551 --> 00:16:55,585 Just take the sign, Andre. 543 00:16:55,653 --> 00:16:56,720 Oh... hello! 544 00:16:56,787 --> 00:16:57,587 Hey! 545 00:16:57,655 --> 00:16:58,455 (singing fanfare) 546 00:16:58,522 --> 00:17:00,090 Look who the cat dragged in. 547 00:17:00,157 --> 00:17:03,960 Look who it is... it's me and my confidante, Josh Cribbs! 548 00:17:04,028 --> 00:17:04,961 How you doing? 549 00:17:05,029 --> 00:17:05,996 Josh Cribbs, hi. 550 00:17:06,063 --> 00:17:07,230 How about that. 551 00:17:07,298 --> 00:17:09,332 Is that a child behind you? 552 00:17:09,400 --> 00:17:12,502 Oh, yeah, this is, um... This is Colin. 553 00:17:12,570 --> 00:17:13,436 Colin. 554 00:17:13,504 --> 00:17:14,037 Hi. 555 00:17:14,105 --> 00:17:14,804 Hi. 556 00:17:14,872 --> 00:17:15,905 Kevin. Nice to meet you. 557 00:17:15,973 --> 00:17:17,907 You look well, like an angel. 558 00:17:17,975 --> 00:17:20,143 Yeah, let's not talk about Heaven in front of him, okay? 559 00:17:20,211 --> 00:17:21,311 You're a dick. 560 00:17:21,379 --> 00:17:23,380 You guys are making his dream come true. 561 00:17:23,447 --> 00:17:24,981 Together... Together. 562 00:17:25,049 --> 00:17:26,049 ...we are dream makers. 563 00:17:26,117 --> 00:17:27,684 Okay, we'll see. 564 00:17:27,752 --> 00:17:28,618 Colin! 565 00:17:28,686 --> 00:17:29,552 Hey, Terrell Suggs! 566 00:17:29,620 --> 00:17:30,520 What's up, man? 567 00:17:30,588 --> 00:17:31,554 How you doing? 568 00:17:31,622 --> 00:17:32,656 Terrell, what's up, baby? 569 00:17:32,723 --> 00:17:33,590 How you doing, man? 570 00:17:33,658 --> 00:17:34,524 Wow! 571 00:17:34,592 --> 00:17:35,659 What is he doing here? 572 00:17:35,726 --> 00:17:38,428 Colin's big wish was to meet Terrell Suggs. 573 00:17:38,496 --> 00:17:40,397 So I said, I'll write a letter. 574 00:17:40,464 --> 00:17:43,667 Boom, Terrell gets it, invite him to the party... look how that 575 00:17:43,734 --> 00:17:44,467 worked out. 576 00:17:44,535 --> 00:17:45,869 This is completely unfair. 577 00:17:45,936 --> 00:17:46,936 You have the Baltimore dee. 578 00:17:47,004 --> 00:17:47,904 Do I? 579 00:17:47,972 --> 00:17:51,274 So, Colin, let's make this wish come true. 580 00:17:51,342 --> 00:17:53,977 What exactly can I do to make that happen? 581 00:17:54,045 --> 00:17:57,013 Um, I think I'm gonna field this one, all right, honcho? 582 00:17:57,081 --> 00:17:59,382 I think Colin would love if you sacked the quarterback, 583 00:17:59,450 --> 00:18:02,085 like, three or four times, and maybe even returned a fumble for 584 00:18:02,153 --> 00:18:03,797 a touchdown. 585 00:18:03,917 --> 00:18:06,597 I don't know, but I think he would love a bucketful of points. 586 00:18:06,717 --> 00:18:08,848 - Right? - Yes. - Cool. - So, hold on, hold on. 587 00:18:08,968 --> 00:18:12,122 So his wish was to meet... 588 00:18:12,242 --> 00:18:13,419 Eh-eh, eh-eh. 589 00:18:13,539 --> 00:18:16,265 This little guy doesn't know which wish is which, because his 590 00:18:16,385 --> 00:18:18,924 brain is filled with fungus and bacterias. 591 00:18:19,408 --> 00:18:20,308 Who is this? 592 00:18:20,376 --> 00:18:21,142 So, hold on. 593 00:18:21,210 --> 00:18:24,212 Returning a kickoff for a touchdown, a hundred all-purpose yards... 594 00:18:24,280 --> 00:18:26,019 That was all you, not for Colin? 595 00:18:26,139 --> 00:18:28,389 You're still making a young man's dream come true. 596 00:18:28,509 --> 00:18:30,526 I just felt my hamstring tighten up. 597 00:18:30,646 --> 00:18:32,214 Colin, let's go, man. 598 00:18:32,334 --> 00:18:33,832 Come on, man, let's get out of here, Colin. 599 00:18:34,676 --> 00:18:36,104 Rest that hammy. 600 00:18:37,727 --> 00:18:39,961 God, where do you think they're going right now? 601 00:18:40,029 --> 00:18:41,758 I don't know, but I wish I could go with them. 602 00:18:42,292 --> 00:18:46,570 Ladies and gentlemen, the performance is about to begin. 603 00:18:46,978 --> 00:18:51,539 (rhythmic drumming) 604 00:18:58,714 --> 00:19:01,249 (chanting): Naginata, naginata, love my naginata. 605 00:19:01,317 --> 00:19:03,585 Naginata, naginata, check out my naginata. 606 00:19:03,653 --> 00:19:06,069 Naginata, everyone... He's talking about the spear, right? 607 00:19:06,189 --> 00:19:08,306 Yes, but n-no one else knows that. 608 00:19:08,426 --> 00:19:12,150 (chanting): It is so cool and awesome. Everybody should have one. 609 00:19:12,270 --> 00:19:14,078 Naginata, please. 610 00:19:14,198 --> 00:19:17,198 Oh, there are so few things that bring me joy like this. 611 00:19:17,266 --> 00:19:20,362 (chanting): Try practicing with a naginata. 612 00:19:20,482 --> 00:19:22,725 The exercise will do you good. 613 00:19:22,845 --> 00:19:25,458 You'll be the coolest guy in your hood. 614 00:19:25,578 --> 00:19:27,639 With niginatas like this! 615 00:19:27,759 --> 00:19:29,585 (rhythmic drumming) 616 00:19:29,705 --> 00:19:30,992 (chanting): Naginata, naginata. 617 00:19:31,128 --> 00:19:32,217 Love my naginata. 618 00:19:32,285 --> 00:19:33,585 Naginata, naginata. 619 00:19:33,653 --> 00:19:34,686 That's my naginata. 620 00:19:34,754 --> 00:19:38,931 Naginata, naginata... Dr. Nosik, our partnership's over. 621 00:19:39,051 --> 00:19:40,492 (chanting): You're my naginata. 622 00:19:40,560 --> 00:19:41,560 Naginata, naginata. 623 00:19:41,628 --> 00:19:42,861 Sexy naginata. 624 00:19:42,929 --> 00:19:43,862 Naginata, naginata. 625 00:19:43,930 --> 00:19:46,298 That's what I'm.... Uh, please, don't go. 626 00:19:46,366 --> 00:19:47,599 It's just one song. 627 00:19:47,667 --> 00:19:49,201 (grunting loudly) 628 00:19:49,268 --> 00:19:50,369 Aaah! God! Oh! 629 00:19:50,932 --> 00:19:52,371 Oh, God! Oh! Oh, God! 630 00:19:52,438 --> 00:19:55,647 Oh, my God, it hit it! It hit it! It hit my dick! 631 00:19:55,767 --> 00:19:57,374 Everybody, this man has been hit! 632 00:19:57,494 --> 00:19:58,289 Oh, no shit! 633 00:19:58,409 --> 00:20:00,033 Don't worry, everybody, I'm a doctor! 634 00:20:00,153 --> 00:20:01,454 Oh, God, I don't want calf implants! 635 00:20:01,574 --> 00:20:03,248 Listen, his femoral artery's been hit! 636 00:20:03,316 --> 00:20:04,837 And his penis has been hit. 637 00:20:04,957 --> 00:20:06,818 Looks like somebody's cock got a little less pretty. 638 00:20:06,886 --> 00:20:09,507 Goddamn it, Taco, I told you that thing was dangerous! 639 00:20:09,627 --> 00:20:12,079 Sorry. You should've gotten him Spears for Dummies. 640 00:20:12,199 --> 00:20:13,250 He's losing a lot of blood! 641 00:20:13,264 --> 00:20:15,201 I need someone to apply pressure to his penis! 642 00:20:15,228 --> 00:20:16,037 (sobs): Come on! 643 00:20:16,157 --> 00:20:18,463 It was nice knowing you, Kevin... We're gonna divide up your team evenly. 644 00:20:18,531 --> 00:20:19,734 No, no, no! 645 00:20:19,854 --> 00:20:20,536 Come on! 646 00:20:20,656 --> 00:20:21,781 Oh, God. 647 00:20:22,049 --> 00:20:24,398 - You, white knuckler, get in here! - What? 648 00:20:24,518 --> 00:20:27,010 White knuckle him. Get in here! Come on! 649 00:20:27,130 --> 00:20:28,467 Put pressure on his penis! 650 00:20:28,587 --> 00:20:29,797 - No! - Yes! 651 00:20:29,917 --> 00:20:32,107 Are you kidding me?! This is not happening! 652 00:20:32,366 --> 00:20:34,354 - Squeeze! - I'm squeezing! 653 00:20:34,474 --> 00:20:35,259 Squeeze! 654 00:20:35,897 --> 00:20:37,679 Don't laugh! It's not funny! 655 00:20:37,747 --> 00:20:38,713 Squeeze harder! 656 00:20:38,781 --> 00:20:39,627 It's feeling better! 657 00:20:39,747 --> 00:20:40,626 Oh, come on! 658 00:20:40,746 --> 00:20:41,950 Oh, that stopped hurting. 659 00:20:42,017 --> 00:20:43,952 It feels good now. 660 00:20:43,953 --> 00:20:53,953 Sync by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 661 00:20:54,003 --> 00:20:58,553 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 46871

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