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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:30,824 --> 00:01:33,588 Greetings hack and field fans. 2 00:01:33,660 --> 00:01:37,663 I hope you're in the mood for a little fiendly competition. 3 00:01:37,664 --> 00:01:39,932 It's that time of fear again. 4 00:01:39,933 --> 00:01:43,699 The annual All Crypt Die Cathalon! 5 00:01:43,770 --> 00:01:48,080 I've been working out like crazy to get ready. 6 00:01:50,510 --> 00:01:53,612 This year I'm really going for the cold. 7 00:01:53,613 --> 00:01:56,515 Kind of like the woman in tonight's tale. 8 00:01:56,516 --> 00:01:59,952 It's a putrid portrait of an up-and-coming young artist 9 00:01:59,953 --> 00:02:04,156 that's sure to leave a nasty taste on your palette. 10 00:02:04,157 --> 00:02:06,657 I call it... 11 00:02:10,730 --> 00:02:15,929 "99 and 44/100% Pure Horror." 12 00:02:58,278 --> 00:03:00,379 Get out. 13 00:03:00,380 --> 00:03:02,448 - What? - Get out. 14 00:03:02,449 --> 00:03:03,849 My husband will be home soon. 15 00:03:03,850 --> 00:03:06,986 - I wasn't finished. - Ask me if I care. 16 00:03:06,987 --> 00:03:08,988 How can you say that? 17 00:03:08,989 --> 00:03:13,749 - Well, you told me I was special. - I lied. Go home. 18 00:03:14,728 --> 00:03:17,228 Willa. 19 00:03:19,966 --> 00:03:21,900 I love it when you beg. 20 00:03:21,901 --> 00:03:24,303 Okay. I tell you what. 21 00:03:24,304 --> 00:03:25,504 I'll give you a couple of minutes 22 00:03:25,505 --> 00:03:30,442 to do what you gotta do in the bathroom, and then you're out of here. 23 00:03:30,443 --> 00:03:33,033 And tomorrow, don't be late. 24 00:04:04,110 --> 00:04:07,568 Honey, where's the antacid? 25 00:04:08,014 --> 00:04:12,384 They're in the kitchen. You're gonna OD on those things. 26 00:04:12,385 --> 00:04:14,885 Hereditary. 27 00:04:16,956 --> 00:04:21,093 Would you mind not throwing your soiled clothes on the floor? 28 00:04:21,094 --> 00:04:22,995 It's gonna stain the carpet. 29 00:04:22,996 --> 00:04:27,299 Wonderful, Luden. You've come to criticize me in the shower? 30 00:04:27,300 --> 00:04:29,001 No. I'm sorry. 31 00:04:29,002 --> 00:04:31,502 We'll start over. 32 00:04:32,272 --> 00:04:35,812 - Mind if I join you? - Yes, I do mind. 33 00:04:40,413 --> 00:04:43,982 Greetings, shareholders, I'm Luden Sandleton. 34 00:04:43,983 --> 00:04:47,419 Now, soapmaking has come a long way since my grandfather 35 00:04:47,420 --> 00:04:50,490 started Derma Smooth back in 1927. 36 00:04:50,824 --> 00:04:55,461 Back then, it took two and a half days to make a single bar of soap. 37 00:04:55,462 --> 00:04:59,482 But, today, with a single flick of a switch, 38 00:04:59,532 --> 00:05:03,836 the patented Derma Smooth Soap-o-Matic 5000 can heat, 39 00:05:03,837 --> 00:05:09,508 blend, cool and package an entire case of soap in less than eight minutes. 40 00:05:09,509 --> 00:05:14,146 Also, in the old days, most companies rendered animal parts for their products. 41 00:05:14,147 --> 00:05:16,048 But not Derma Smooth. 42 00:05:16,049 --> 00:05:19,384 There are over a dozen kinds of acids in animal parts, 43 00:05:19,385 --> 00:05:21,153 including hydrochloric acid. 44 00:05:21,154 --> 00:05:22,955 Think about it. 45 00:05:22,956 --> 00:05:25,290 Would you want the stuff that digests food in your stomach 46 00:05:25,291 --> 00:05:28,260 doing the same kind of thing to your face? 47 00:05:28,261 --> 00:05:30,195 That's why, for the past 70 years, 48 00:05:30,196 --> 00:05:34,856 Derma Smooth has been all natural and cruelty-free. 49 00:05:34,868 --> 00:05:39,471 But enough about the past. Let's talk about the future. 50 00:05:41,641 --> 00:05:44,141 Bravo. 51 00:05:44,844 --> 00:05:50,149 They're showing it at the shareholders' luncheon next week. 52 00:05:50,150 --> 00:05:52,650 So, where's the future? 53 00:05:52,952 --> 00:05:56,555 We haven't shot it yet. We got problems. 54 00:05:56,556 --> 00:05:59,057 I mean, sales are at an all-time low. 55 00:05:59,058 --> 00:06:01,627 You're the president, Lu. Fire someone. 56 00:06:01,628 --> 00:06:06,365 Yeah, well, we've been doing a lot of work getting ready for the luncheon 57 00:06:06,366 --> 00:06:08,967 and market research indicates that your designs 58 00:06:08,968 --> 00:06:13,888 aren't scoring the kinds of points that they used to. 59 00:06:15,508 --> 00:06:16,608 Fact. 60 00:06:16,609 --> 00:06:19,678 This design made Derma Smooth the number-one shampoo! 61 00:06:19,679 --> 00:06:22,347 Well, nobody's saying that your work isn't good. 62 00:06:22,348 --> 00:06:25,884 It's just it's not very fresh anymore. 63 00:06:25,885 --> 00:06:30,322 So, this is why you're so excited to see me doing my own stuff, huh? 64 00:06:30,323 --> 00:06:33,625 Well, don't take it personally. I mean... 65 00:06:33,626 --> 00:06:36,456 The board of directors wants to 66 00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:39,398 scrap all of the existing artwork. 67 00:06:39,399 --> 00:06:43,335 They want an entirely new look for Derma Smooth. 68 00:06:43,336 --> 00:06:45,836 I think it's a great idea! 69 00:06:46,105 --> 00:06:48,073 - You do? - Absolutely! 70 00:06:48,074 --> 00:06:49,775 I mean, my designs have been copied so much, 71 00:06:49,776 --> 00:06:51,410 they are old news. 72 00:06:52,745 --> 00:06:55,781 So when is this shareholders' meeting? 73 00:06:55,782 --> 00:06:57,616 Thursday. 74 00:06:57,617 --> 00:07:01,720 - I'm really happy that you understand... - Thursday. Thursday, Thursday. 75 00:07:01,721 --> 00:07:05,991 That gives me just enough time to give you your future. 76 00:07:05,992 --> 00:07:07,626 What? 77 00:07:07,627 --> 00:07:10,696 They want a fresh new look? Let me give it to them. 78 00:07:10,697 --> 00:07:13,787 I'll wow them, Luden, you'll see. 79 00:07:15,235 --> 00:07:16,768 Welcome back. 80 00:07:16,769 --> 00:07:22,608 We are talking to the hottest artist on the scene today, Renaldo Escuarita. 81 00:07:22,609 --> 00:07:25,043 Renaldo, when did you first make the transition 82 00:07:25,044 --> 00:07:27,646 from doing graffiti to more serious artwork? 83 00:07:27,647 --> 00:07:31,416 Hey, I don't use the "G word," because that's like, vandalism, you dig? 84 00:07:31,417 --> 00:07:34,052 I am an urban guerrilla artist. 85 00:07:34,053 --> 00:07:36,455 It's like, the city is my canvas, man. 86 00:07:36,456 --> 00:07:39,625 I'm just working on a smaller scale now. 87 00:07:39,626 --> 00:07:42,060 Bam! 88 00:07:42,061 --> 00:07:44,561 I call it "Welfare Cheese." 89 00:07:46,199 --> 00:07:48,467 When is it time for me? 90 00:07:48,468 --> 00:07:50,335 Right about now. 91 00:07:50,336 --> 00:07:52,638 You know my next guest from her provocative 92 00:07:52,639 --> 00:07:56,174 and controversial designs for Derma Smooth beauty products. 93 00:07:56,175 --> 00:07:58,700 Say hi to Willa Sandleton. 94 00:07:59,812 --> 00:08:02,547 Willa, thanks so much for joining us. 95 00:08:02,548 --> 00:08:05,050 So, now that Derma Smooth beauty products 96 00:08:05,051 --> 00:08:07,586 are no longer the flavor of the month, 97 00:08:07,587 --> 00:08:11,290 do you think your 15 minutes of fame are up? 98 00:08:11,291 --> 00:08:12,424 No. 99 00:08:12,425 --> 00:08:17,229 Actually, I am in the middle of redesigning the entire Derma Smooth line. 100 00:08:17,230 --> 00:08:19,730 - Really? - Yes. Yes. 101 00:08:19,766 --> 00:08:22,200 But what I'm really excited about is my new work. 102 00:08:22,201 --> 00:08:23,835 I feel like I've really grown as an artist 103 00:08:23,836 --> 00:08:27,139 and I'd like to take this opportunity to debut my new art to the world, 104 00:08:27,140 --> 00:08:28,540 if you don't mind. 105 00:08:28,541 --> 00:08:30,709 - This first painting I call... - Oops! Actually... 106 00:08:30,710 --> 00:08:33,845 We're out of time, Willa, I'm so sorry. 107 00:08:33,846 --> 00:08:38,350 When we come back, you're going to be meeting some very special children. 108 00:08:38,351 --> 00:08:39,584 We're clear! 109 00:08:39,585 --> 00:08:42,454 Brian, we got tape on those retarded kids that draw with their feet? 110 00:08:42,455 --> 00:08:45,791 - They're physically impaired, not retarded. - Whatever. 111 00:08:45,792 --> 00:08:48,760 Excuse me, I thought you were gonna show my work on this show. 112 00:08:48,761 --> 00:08:51,697 That's the reason I agreed to come on this program. 113 00:08:51,698 --> 00:08:53,198 Are you nuts? 114 00:08:53,199 --> 00:08:55,967 The network won't let us show that gory goop on the air. 115 00:08:55,968 --> 00:08:58,670 Besides, who'd want to look at that first thing in the morning? 116 00:08:58,671 --> 00:09:01,406 Renaldo, thanks for coming on the show, can't wait to see yours. 117 00:09:01,407 --> 00:09:03,947 Right on, right on. 118 00:09:16,689 --> 00:09:18,457 Hi. 119 00:09:18,458 --> 00:09:19,658 Hi. 120 00:09:19,659 --> 00:09:22,159 How was the TV show? 121 00:09:22,195 --> 00:09:24,096 I don't wanna talk about it. 122 00:09:24,097 --> 00:09:27,199 What are you doing home in the middle of the day? 123 00:09:27,200 --> 00:09:30,435 I need to talk to you about the shareholders' luncheon tomorrow. 124 00:09:30,436 --> 00:09:34,339 Oh, great, because I have just finished with the last set of designs and... 125 00:09:34,340 --> 00:09:38,410 I'm afraid we're not gonna be able to use your stuff. 126 00:09:38,411 --> 00:09:40,911 What? 127 00:09:41,514 --> 00:09:43,548 Why not? 128 00:09:43,549 --> 00:09:46,885 - You don't like them. - No, no. It's not that. 129 00:09:46,886 --> 00:09:48,887 Damn it, Luden! 130 00:09:48,888 --> 00:09:51,823 I created an image for your stupid company. 131 00:09:51,824 --> 00:09:54,559 You know, I turned it around! I think you owe me! 132 00:09:54,560 --> 00:09:58,029 - Well, it's just business, Willa. - Then treat it like a business! 133 00:09:58,030 --> 00:09:59,131 Test the damn things! 134 00:09:59,132 --> 00:10:00,966 I have worked round the clock for five days straight, 135 00:10:00,967 --> 00:10:03,001 I think you could do a regional test, something! 136 00:10:03,002 --> 00:10:04,436 No! I'm sorry. 137 00:10:04,437 --> 00:10:09,341 But we've just closed a deal on an up-and-coming new artist. 138 00:10:09,342 --> 00:10:12,577 He's very hot now and we're lucky to have him. 139 00:10:12,578 --> 00:10:13,945 Who is it? 140 00:10:13,946 --> 00:10:17,082 - His name is Renaldo Escuarita. - What? 141 00:10:17,083 --> 00:10:19,943 Renaldo Escuari... You know him? 142 00:10:20,153 --> 00:10:22,154 He's a graffiti artist. 143 00:10:22,155 --> 00:10:24,890 Luden, I have studied. Do you understand me? Studied! 144 00:10:24,891 --> 00:10:27,926 - My whole life for this! - Now, Willa, calm down. 145 00:10:27,927 --> 00:10:30,729 - How dare you do this to me? - I'm not doing anything to you. 146 00:10:30,730 --> 00:10:32,330 Look, it's not the end of the world. 147 00:10:32,331 --> 00:10:34,399 You can do your own work full-time now. 148 00:10:34,400 --> 00:10:39,104 Oh, yeah. Who's gonna buy my paintings, Luden? You? 149 00:10:39,105 --> 00:10:41,605 Willa. 150 00:10:42,308 --> 00:10:44,509 - Willa, there's a silver lining here. - Are you kidding? 151 00:10:44,510 --> 00:10:47,379 Well, I'm concerned about us, about our marriage. 152 00:10:47,380 --> 00:10:50,816 Now, I figure between taking the pressure off of you 153 00:10:50,817 --> 00:10:53,084 and getting past the board of directors meeting, 154 00:10:53,085 --> 00:10:55,220 we'll have a chance to spend a little time together. 155 00:10:55,221 --> 00:10:58,290 - You know, maybe take that trip. - Don't touch me. 156 00:10:58,291 --> 00:11:02,594 I'll go to a marriage counselor. I'll do whatever you want. 157 00:11:02,595 --> 00:11:04,629 Give me my job back. 158 00:11:04,630 --> 00:11:09,260 - Well, that's not gonna happen. - Fine. I want out. 159 00:11:09,735 --> 00:11:13,672 - What are you saying? - I want a divorce, you idiot. 160 00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:15,640 I don't care about this relationship. 161 00:11:15,641 --> 00:11:18,376 I never have. Sorry. That's just the way it is. 162 00:11:18,377 --> 00:11:21,680 And if I can't put my drawings on your stupid soap boxes, 163 00:11:21,681 --> 00:11:24,349 well then I'm just gonna take your money. Half. 164 00:11:24,350 --> 00:11:26,850 Half sounds good to me. 165 00:11:27,553 --> 00:11:30,053 I'm entitled to it. 166 00:11:42,702 --> 00:11:45,392 I'm sorry it's come to this. 167 00:11:51,410 --> 00:11:53,678 - You son of a bitch! - Well, that's good. 168 00:11:53,679 --> 00:11:56,147 You let your anger out. No, I get it... 169 00:11:56,148 --> 00:11:59,684 No, I realize that I'm probably as much to blame for this as you are. 170 00:11:59,685 --> 00:12:02,020 Now, Willa, listen. Let's start over again. 171 00:12:02,021 --> 00:12:05,123 We'll erase everything. Let's give it another chance. 172 00:12:05,124 --> 00:12:06,725 What do you say? 173 00:12:06,726 --> 00:12:09,226 You are such a wimp! 174 00:12:09,862 --> 00:12:13,692 Now, maybe, but I'm not gonna let you go. 175 00:12:16,435 --> 00:12:18,737 Willa. 176 00:12:18,738 --> 00:12:21,273 Come on. We used to have some fire in the past. 177 00:12:21,274 --> 00:12:23,742 Let's bring it back. 178 00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:26,243 I'll give you fire, Luey. 179 00:12:28,948 --> 00:12:31,448 Willa! 180 00:12:32,518 --> 00:12:36,215 Sorry, Lu, but you got me on a bad day. 181 00:12:48,634 --> 00:12:51,134 Hey! Drop me the key! 182 00:12:51,137 --> 00:12:52,671 What are you doing here? 183 00:12:52,672 --> 00:12:57,475 What do you mean? I'm right on time for our afternoon delight. 184 00:12:57,476 --> 00:12:58,677 Come back later! 185 00:12:58,678 --> 00:13:02,047 Oh, come on. Don't go teasing me like this! 186 00:13:02,048 --> 00:13:06,278 - I'm begging on my hands and knees! - Go away! 187 00:13:23,302 --> 00:13:26,237 I'll bark like a dog if you want! 188 00:13:32,912 --> 00:13:35,113 Not now, Tom! I mean it. 189 00:13:35,114 --> 00:13:39,904 Forget about the key. I think somebody's coming out. 190 00:13:55,935 --> 00:13:58,435 Hey, babe, open up. 191 00:13:58,604 --> 00:14:01,640 I know you need a strong, hunky man like me in there! 192 00:14:01,641 --> 00:14:04,141 Come on, babe. Open up. 193 00:14:05,478 --> 00:14:07,978 Willa, come on. 194 00:14:07,980 --> 00:14:10,382 Willa, open the door. 195 00:14:10,383 --> 00:14:13,003 Open, open, open, open, open. 196 00:14:14,020 --> 00:14:16,520 Hi. 197 00:14:18,457 --> 00:14:20,091 Man, you've been painting up a storm, huh? 198 00:14:20,092 --> 00:14:23,628 Oh, yeah. Listen, I need you to do me a favor. 199 00:14:23,629 --> 00:14:25,797 Sure. I'll do you. 200 00:14:25,798 --> 00:14:28,266 A favor, that is. 201 00:14:28,267 --> 00:14:32,303 I need you to come over here and help me get this carpet into the car. 202 00:14:32,304 --> 00:14:35,234 God, Willa, I'm so hot for you. 203 00:14:35,574 --> 00:14:37,208 Let's do it on the carpet right now. 204 00:14:37,209 --> 00:14:39,709 No, you don't! No. 205 00:14:41,280 --> 00:14:43,780 Kinky. 206 00:14:45,584 --> 00:14:48,084 Tom. 207 00:15:02,068 --> 00:15:06,171 Wait, wait, wait. We'll pick this up later, baby. Okay. 208 00:15:06,172 --> 00:15:09,107 Could you go get me some aspirin? They're in the bathroom. I got a headache. 209 00:15:09,108 --> 00:15:12,143 - You got a headache, now? - Yeah, I'm sorry. 210 00:15:12,144 --> 00:15:15,894 I'll make it up to you later. I promise. 211 00:15:15,981 --> 00:15:18,481 Okay. 212 00:15:36,268 --> 00:15:38,203 What's this? 213 00:15:38,204 --> 00:15:40,704 That's for later. 214 00:15:41,607 --> 00:15:43,775 All right. 215 00:15:43,776 --> 00:15:46,711 Now help me get this into the car. 216 00:15:46,712 --> 00:15:50,782 Well, get your husband to do it. I ain't your slave. 217 00:15:50,783 --> 00:15:54,319 Luden is out of town and you are my slave. 218 00:15:54,320 --> 00:15:56,820 Okay. Okay. Okay. 219 00:15:58,424 --> 00:16:00,792 Man, this stuff's looking realer every day. 220 00:16:00,793 --> 00:16:03,561 It's a mixed media piece. It's a gift for Luden. 221 00:16:03,562 --> 00:16:04,963 Now beat it. 222 00:16:04,964 --> 00:16:08,934 Hey, wait a second. You promised me. Willa! 223 00:16:10,069 --> 00:16:12,569 I said, "Scram." 224 00:16:51,043 --> 00:16:54,933 Gee, Lu, you were never this lively before. 225 00:17:14,366 --> 00:17:17,164 Acid to acid, dust to dust. 226 00:18:36,181 --> 00:18:38,681 Long day, huh, Lu? 227 00:18:45,491 --> 00:18:50,793 Hey, Lu, you don't mind if I leave this... 228 00:18:51,263 --> 00:18:52,597 There. 229 00:18:52,598 --> 00:18:56,364 Or how about these... here. 230 00:18:59,505 --> 00:19:03,908 Or, how about this, there. 231 00:19:05,844 --> 00:19:09,064 C'mon, Lu, let's go have some fun. 232 00:19:16,455 --> 00:19:21,505 Now, you just sit right there and don't move a muscle. 233 00:19:58,163 --> 00:20:00,898 You always wanted to shower with me, Lu. 234 00:20:00,899 --> 00:20:03,399 Here's your chance. 235 00:20:39,905 --> 00:20:43,107 There are over a dozen kinds of acids in animal parts, 236 00:20:43,108 --> 00:20:45,608 including hydrochloric acid. 237 00:20:47,579 --> 00:20:49,047 Think about it. 238 00:20:49,048 --> 00:20:51,616 Would you want the stuff that digests food in your stomach 239 00:20:51,617 --> 00:20:54,052 doing the same kind of thing to your face? 240 00:21:26,652 --> 00:21:30,388 Looks like Willa's changing her school of painting. 241 00:21:30,389 --> 00:21:34,849 From art gooveau to ghost-lmpressionism. 242 00:21:34,927 --> 00:21:37,428 That'll get her into Ooze Who. 243 00:21:40,532 --> 00:21:44,400 Okay, kiddies, it's time for my big event. 244 00:21:44,803 --> 00:21:47,303 Wish me luck. 245 00:21:53,245 --> 00:21:55,279 Caught it! 246 00:21:55,280 --> 00:21:57,548 Ah, the kill of victory. 18952

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