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1
00:00:55,372 --> 00:00:57,229
Oh God, it�s curry!
2
00:00:59,926 --> 00:01:04,465
Oh you finally decided to get up, did you?
You still a vegetarian?
3
00:01:05,878 --> 00:01:09,625
Pity they didn't make booze out of animals,
then maybe you wouldn't get a hangover!
4
00:01:11,899 --> 00:01:13,167
Where is everyone?
5
00:01:13,448 --> 00:01:17,843
Well, Raquel's still in bed,
Del went a work about 6 o�clock this morning.
6
00:01:18,009 --> 00:01:20,290
But it's Sunday!
Don't he ever have a day off?
7
00:01:20,480 --> 00:01:25,839
He's a yuppy, ain't he?
As he said, 'The business world never sleeps.'
8
00:01:26,440 --> 00:01:29,613
New York stock
exchange closes, Tokyo opens.
9
00:01:29,648 --> 00:01:34,636
- Del's gotta keep his finger on the pulse.
- Teriffic. So, where's he gone?
10
00:01:34,671 --> 00:01:36,561
Petticoat Lane.
11
00:01:38,450 --> 00:01:40,774
He's got to pick some gear up for a mate.
12
00:01:41,455 --> 00:01:46,258
You any happier? You looked very
depressed when you come in last night.
13
00:01:46,429 --> 00:01:49,449
That may have something to do
with the fact that my marriage is in tatters
14
00:01:49,484 --> 00:01:51,175
and I've lost the best job I've ever had.
15
00:01:51,210 --> 00:01:55,516
- But you're working for Del Boy now, ain�t ya?
- Exactly! Wouldn't you be depressed?
16
00:01:55,551 --> 00:01:59,258
If I'd stayed with Cassandra's dad,
I'd have been running that firm within a couple of years.
17
00:02:00,465 --> 00:02:05,498
Well, one day Del�s gonna retire
and Trotters Independent Traders will be all yours.
18
00:02:05,533 --> 00:02:09,032
I know! Bloody hell!
19
00:02:09,859 --> 00:02:14,080
I wish there was something - anything �
on the horizon that could raise my spirits.
20
00:02:14,719 --> 00:02:17,504
Del and Raquel's
baby is gonna be born soon!
21
00:02:17,777 --> 00:02:19,816
Oh God, I�d forgotten about that.
22
00:02:20,336 --> 00:02:22,301
But that's a reason for
celebration, innit?
23
00:02:22,696 --> 00:02:28,055
For you and Del and Raquel, maybe.
But what about me? What chance am I gonna have?
24
00:02:28,238 --> 00:02:34,834
Do you realize, by the time I'm 45 Son of Del will be 16.
And that will be it. I can hear him now.
25
00:02:35,017 --> 00:02:40,405
"I've got a good idea, Uncle Rodney. I'll go and buy
a load of old crap and you can go out and sell it for me.
26
00:02:42,909 --> 00:02:46,787
�Cause, you see, that way, Uncle Rodney,
I'll have lots of money and wide-awake suits
27
00:02:46,822 --> 00:02:49,233
and you won't have a pot to piss in."
28
00:02:51,421 --> 00:02:54,217
And the really frightening thing is,
I�m gonna fall for it.
29
00:02:55,082 --> 00:02:57,672
That's stupid. It might not be a boy.
30
00:02:57,878 --> 00:03:03,482
No, it is a boy.
Rosemary's Baby was on the telly the other night.
31
00:03:03,685 --> 00:03:05,592
It's Del and Raquel to a tee.
32
00:03:06,044 --> 00:03:11,711
In a couple of weeks'time we'll be awoken by
the cries of our own bonny, bouncing antichrist.
33
00:03:13,023 --> 00:03:15,289
They're bound to call him Damien, you know.
34
00:03:16,475 --> 00:03:18,735
They were thinking of calling it Rodney.
35
00:03:19,188 --> 00:03:23,343
Rodney! Poor little sod.
36
00:03:24,025 --> 00:03:25,865
- Morning.
- Morning.
37
00:03:25,900 --> 00:03:29,359
Hello, love. Del's not back yet.
D�you fancy a cup of tea?
38
00:03:29,394 --> 00:03:31,047
Please, Albert.
39
00:03:31,334 --> 00:03:36,989
Sorry, I feel exhausted.
He was moving around all night long.
40
00:03:37,024 --> 00:03:39,823
He's always the same after a curry...
41
00:03:41,771 --> 00:03:43,754
The baby! Sorry.
42
00:03:48,732 --> 00:03:51,992
The old creature from the
black lagoon has risen from its pit.
43
00:03:52,027 --> 00:03:55,829
Del, that's no way to talk to
the mother of your child.
44
00:03:55,864 --> 00:03:58,443
- Watch it, Rodney. You alright, sweetheart?
- Yeah, I'm OK.
45
00:03:58,478 --> 00:04:00,861
- Guess what I've got here.
- No, go on.
46
00:04:03,141 --> 00:04:04,827
Wigs!
47
00:04:06,702 --> 00:04:11,172
You know that Mustapha
from the Bangladeshi butcher's down the road?
48
00:04:11,373 --> 00:04:15,882
Well, his nephew works in a top London
West End wig-makers.
49
00:04:16,106 --> 00:04:25,888
According to him they do all the top stars:
Jane Fonda, Sophia Loren, Anita Dobson, the lot.
50
00:04:26,187 --> 00:04:30,324
And he gets these wigs at 25 per cent
of the retail price.
51
00:04:30,359 --> 00:04:34,352
- 25 per cent of the retail price?
- It's a concession to employees.
52
00:04:34,523 --> 00:04:35,973
And I sold them all!
53
00:04:36,196 --> 00:04:39,685
All the old tarts down the Nag's Head
have been waiting weeks for these to come in.
54
00:04:40,742 --> 00:04:46,008
- I went in and dated with advance orders.
- So you're back, Del. Fancy a bit of breakfast?
55
00:04:46,726 --> 00:04:51,401
Yeah, make me a non vegetarian
bacon sandwich, will you Albert?
56
00:04:52,280 --> 00:04:57,844
What are you doing today then, Rodney?
A Greenpeace rally, releasing a few nut cutlets?
57
00:05:00,264 --> 00:05:03,686
Del, just because I have become concerned
about the welfare of our planet
58
00:05:03,721 --> 00:05:05,839
there�s no need to take the rise out of me.
59
00:05:05,874 --> 00:05:09,122
Yes, but ever since you become a vegetarian
you've become a right miserable git.
60
00:05:09,598 --> 00:05:11,925
There's nothing wrong with being vegetarian, Del.
61
00:05:11,960 --> 00:05:16,068
No, that's right! One in five people
in this country now refuse to eat meat.
62
00:05:16,264 --> 00:05:18,225
Mickey Pearce is a vegetarian.
63
00:05:18,467 --> 00:05:21,465
It�s only �cause he got the sack
from the World of Leather.
64
00:05:24,199 --> 00:05:30,263
A bloke needs a bit of stodge and fat to solid things up.
Any doctor'll tell you that.
65
00:05:30,298 --> 00:05:34,449
All these carrots and cabbage cobblers,
no wonder you're so depressed.
66
00:05:34,484 --> 00:05:37,975
You've gotta pick yourself up and look around
at all the things you've got in life.
67
00:05:38,010 --> 00:05:43,332
You name me one thing that I - not you - me,
Rodney Trotter, has got to look forward to?
68
00:05:43,538 --> 00:05:46,227
You're taking Cassandra to
Hampton Court this afternoon.
69
00:05:46,262 --> 00:05:54,151
Oh cosmic! A castle and a maze. I just love looking
at old suits of armour and then getting lost.
70
00:05:54,913 --> 00:05:57,079
Shut up, you miserable little tart.
71
00:05:57,114 --> 00:06:00,325
I am depressed because
of the state of my life at the moment.
72
00:06:00,503 --> 00:06:03,941
I got this horrible feeling that if there is
such a thing as reincarnation,
73
00:06:03,976 --> 00:06:06,946
knowing my luck,
I�ll come back as me!
74
00:06:16,279 --> 00:06:20,049
Trigger. See if you can find out
what they're naming the baby, will you?
75
00:06:20,084 --> 00:06:21,246
Why?
76
00:06:21,932 --> 00:06:24,892
Because I'm not allowed
to go in for my own competition, that�s why.
77
00:06:24,927 --> 00:06:28,253
But I'll let you enter and then we go half
on the winnings.
78
00:06:28,288 --> 00:06:30,319
Leave it to me, Mike.
79
00:06:34,121 --> 00:06:39,396
- Alright, Dave?
- Alright, Trig?
80
00:06:40,019 --> 00:06:42,187
Have they thought a name
for the baby yet?
81
00:06:42,656 --> 00:06:47,750
Well, if it's a girl Del wants to call it Sigourney,
after the actress Sigourney Weaver.
82
00:06:48,608 --> 00:06:52,472
- And what if it's a boy?
- If it�s a boy, he wants to call it Rodney.
83
00:06:53,225 --> 00:06:56,446
Yeah? Who after?
84
00:07:01,786 --> 00:07:03,868
After me, Trig.
85
00:07:12,058 --> 00:07:13,703
- Alright, Del?
- Alright Trig?
86
00:07:16,289 --> 00:07:21,128
Alright girls? Got them wigs you ordered.
Albert's bringing them in from the van.
87
00:07:21,698 --> 00:07:23,625
- So?
- What?
88
00:07:24,650 --> 00:07:26,763
What name have they decided on?
89
00:07:27,211 --> 00:07:31,250
If it's a girl they're calling
her Sigourney after an actress,
90
00:07:31,501 --> 00:07:36,825
and if it's a boy they're naming him
Rodney after Dave.
91
00:07:38,923 --> 00:07:40,364
Brilliant, Trig!
92
00:07:40,565 --> 00:07:45,648
Albert, come here. Just put that box down there
next to Rodney for a minute, will ya?
93
00:07:46,693 --> 00:07:51,101
- So how'd your day out with Cassandra go?
- Don't ask, alright? Just do not ask.
94
00:07:51,432 --> 00:07:52,867
Why, what happened?
95
00:07:53,662 --> 00:07:58,580
Alright, I'll tell you.
Cassandra told me it's all over between us.
96
00:07:59,356 --> 00:08:03,727
Me and Cassandra are no longer an item.
Me and Cassandra are no more.
97
00:08:03,905 --> 00:08:06,244
Me and Cassandra are finito.
98
00:08:07,098 --> 00:08:10,783
- I just don't understand her any more.
- I know the feeling, son.
99
00:08:11,680 --> 00:08:15,765
When you and Cassandra first met,
what was the big attraction?
100
00:08:16,387 --> 00:08:19,624
I don�t know. Lust, I suppose.
101
00:08:20,552 --> 00:08:26,286
- Yeah, she struck me as that sort.
- I was talking about me.
102
00:08:27,401 --> 00:08:30,600
I know you were. I was just trying
to have a little joke with you.
103
00:08:30,635 --> 00:08:32,607
Well, I ain't in a joking mood.
104
00:08:32,965 --> 00:08:36,515
- Alright, Rodney? How�d get on at Hampton Court?
- I don't wanna talk about it.
105
00:08:36,550 --> 00:08:39,548
- Why, what happened?
- Cassandra gave him the elbow in the maze.
106
00:08:39,583 --> 00:08:41,460
Oh, that sounds painful.
107
00:08:44,331 --> 00:08:47,639
Come on, cheer up Rodney.
There�s plenty more fish in the sea, ain�t there?
108
00:08:47,674 --> 00:08:51,177
It's not as simple as that, Del.
That girl left a mark on me.
109
00:08:51,212 --> 00:08:53,300
So did your smallpox jab.
110
00:08:53,739 --> 00:08:57,503
This is none of my business, Rodney,
and you can tell me to keep my nose out if you like.
111
00:08:57,538 --> 00:08:59,237
Keep your nose out, Mike.
112
00:08:59,272 --> 00:09:02,536
I was married once mate, I know what it�s like.
I know what you're going through, mate.
113
00:09:02,571 --> 00:09:06,246
You listen to the man, Rodney.
His wife chucked him in years ago.
114
00:09:06,281 --> 00:09:10,161
You don't want to take too much notice of things
that are said in the heat of the argument.
115
00:09:10,654 --> 00:09:13,383
She said Irefused to adapt to married life.
116
00:09:13,418 --> 00:09:16,802
Said I wanted to carry on doing
the same things that I'd always done.
117
00:09:17,019 --> 00:09:18,174
What did you say to that?
118
00:09:18,209 --> 00:09:21,719
I said, "I don't want to discuss it Cassandra.
I'm going down the Nag's Head."
119
00:09:22,927 --> 00:09:29,180
I remember me and my missus.
I had 18 blissfully happy years, then I met her.
120
00:09:32,712 --> 00:09:35,174
D'you find your way out
of the maze alright, Dave?
121
00:09:39,570 --> 00:09:41,958
No, I'm still in there, Trig.
122
00:09:43,649 --> 00:09:48,080
- I couldn't find my way out of there once.
- You couldn�t find your way in there once.
123
00:09:48,839 --> 00:09:51,394
I was with this bird.
We had a right row.
124
00:09:51,713 --> 00:09:55,195
She wanted to go to the left
and I wanted to go to the right...
125
00:09:56,115 --> 00:10:00,562
No, I tell a lie... She wanted to go to the right
and I wanted to go to the...
126
00:10:00,597 --> 00:10:04,437
Trigger! Me and Cassandra
are intelligent people
127
00:10:04,472 --> 00:10:07,924
and we do not have rows
about which is the quickest way out of a maze.
128
00:10:09,298 --> 00:10:12,026
God, I've never felt so
depressed in all me life.
129
00:10:12,061 --> 00:10:16,717
- Come on, Rodney, don�t be like that.
- I just wanna be left alone.
130
00:10:16,752 --> 00:10:19,524
Now, Rodney, sit down.
That is the worst thing you can do.
131
00:10:20,576 --> 00:10:23,606
Moments like this you need
people round you.
132
00:10:23,799 --> 00:10:26,769
But they just say stupid
things about lust and mazes.
133
00:10:27,076 --> 00:10:29,361
Never give up on people, Rodney.
134
00:10:30,525 --> 00:10:32,533
I know that sometimes
they don't seem to understand.
135
00:10:32,568 --> 00:10:36,788
But when you're in trouble and
you cry out for help, that�s what is important.
136
00:10:36,823 --> 00:10:42,771
You take Trigger's cousin Cyril.
He owed 500 quid on his mortgage.
137
00:10:43,732 --> 00:10:48,060
They was gonna be thrown out on the street
the following day. He was very worried about it.
138
00:10:48,095 --> 00:10:49,551
What happened then, Trig?
139
00:10:49,772 --> 00:10:54,396
He drove out to Beachy Head.
He parked about 5 foot from the edge of the cliff.
140
00:10:54,797 --> 00:10:56,847
What, he was gonna drive off it?
141
00:10:56,882 --> 00:11:01,864
Yeah! He just sat there for 2 hours,
his head resting on the steering wheel.
142
00:11:02,817 --> 00:11:06,026
People tried to talk him out of it,
but he was too depressed to listen.
143
00:11:06,520 --> 00:11:09,453
And this is the thing Rodney,
this is what I mean about people,
144
00:11:09,691 --> 00:11:14,629
�Cause those people there, they had a whip-round
and they got him his 500 quid.
145
00:11:15,177 --> 00:11:20,941
- No! Who held the whip-round?
- All the passengers on his bus.
146
00:11:27,277 --> 00:11:32,065
You see Rodney, there�s always something to look forward to.
You just gotta be patient, bruv, that�s all.
147
00:11:32,100 --> 00:11:37,178
In the meantime, see if you can flog some of them syrups.
Mike, do us a chip sandwich, will ya?
148
00:11:37,567 --> 00:11:39,197
- D�you want sauce on it, Del?
- Yes, please.
149
00:11:39,232 --> 00:11:41,490
- Brown or red?
- Yeah, both.
150
00:11:43,487 --> 00:11:51,900
Del, these wigs. Did your contract say anything
about the Jean Shrimpton style or the urchin look?
151
00:11:51,935 --> 00:11:54,422
No. Just said they're wigs, that was all.
Why?
152
00:11:59,426 --> 00:12:02,168
You were right, Del.
He's cheered up already.
153
00:12:07,486 --> 00:12:12,221
- What are you laughing at?
- I don�t know!
154
00:12:19,410 --> 00:12:21,269
Hurry up Mustapha!
155
00:12:22,474 --> 00:12:25,331
- You'll still be able to sell 'em, Del.
- How?
156
00:12:25,366 --> 00:12:28,203
I don't know,
He who dares, wins?
157
00:12:32,992 --> 00:12:35,033
Don't give me all that old pony.
158
00:12:35,237 --> 00:12:37,057
Hello, is that the mosque?
159
00:12:38,471 --> 00:12:41,035
I don't believe it.
He's phoned a mosque.
160
00:12:41,208 --> 00:12:44,372
I wanna speak to Mustapha
about them syrups he flogged me...
161
00:12:45,741 --> 00:12:51,006
Is he? Well, you better tell him, when he's
finished praying, he better go in for another one,
162
00:12:52,011 --> 00:12:55,229
�cause when I get hold of him he's gonna need
all the help he can get.
163
00:12:57,134 --> 00:13:03,489
I was gonna flog him all those hooky Cat Stevens' LPs.
He can forget all that, I tell ya!
164
00:13:04,077 --> 00:13:08,268
- What's all the shouting?
- Del�s had a bit of trouble with them wigs he bought.
165
00:13:08,303 --> 00:13:12,257
- What sort of trouble?
- They're blokes' wigs.
166
00:13:12,806 --> 00:13:14,119
Blokes?
167
00:13:14,154 --> 00:13:19,159
Yes! They�re men's syrups.
This is not funny, Rodney.
168
00:13:19,308 --> 00:13:22,432
Alright, Del, alright...
Keep your hair on.
169
00:13:24,994 --> 00:13:29,986
Don't you start, sweetheart.
How are we gonna get rid of these things?
170
00:13:30,134 --> 00:13:33,200
There's a lot of bald blokes come out
of that building in Arnold Road.
171
00:13:33,454 --> 00:13:37,029
That's a Hare Krishna temple.
172
00:13:38,896 --> 00:13:43,430
Look at this stuff! Look here!
We've even got men's ponytails here.
173
00:13:46,383 --> 00:13:49,938
I'll handle this the telephone sales campaign
174
00:13:49,973 --> 00:13:53,291
and you will go down the pubs
and see if you can flog a few there.
175
00:13:53,326 --> 00:13:54,799
In the p...?
176
00:13:55,049 --> 00:13:57,389
How am I supposed to go up
to a bald bloke in a pub
177
00:13:57,424 --> 00:14:00,643
and say d'you wanna buy a wig?
I'll get me face smashed in.
178
00:14:01,727 --> 00:14:05,233
Either improve your sales technique,
or learn to duck.
179
00:14:06,194 --> 00:14:13,263
Hello, Gordon? It�s Del Boy.
How�s it going, pal? Cushty.
180
00:14:13,943 --> 00:14:16,754
Listen, Gordon, are you still bald?
181
00:14:19,135 --> 00:14:22,647
The oil has now spread over nearly 10,000
square miles of water
182
00:14:22,682 --> 00:14:25,358
and polluted over 700 miles
of shore.
183
00:14:25,651 --> 00:14:30,286
The estimated hundreds of thousands
of bird casualties include bald eagles like this one�
184
00:14:30,321 --> 00:14:31,914
It's disgusting, innit?
185
00:14:31,949 --> 00:14:36,302
Yeah. They shouldn't put things on about
dead animals when you're about to have your supper.
186
00:14:38,095 --> 00:14:41,424
I wasn�t talking about the
timing of the bloody programme.
187
00:14:41,587 --> 00:14:44,780
I was talking about the damage that
we have done to our planet.
188
00:14:44,815 --> 00:14:47,577
I mean, what are we are gonna leave
for the future generations?
189
00:14:47,755 --> 00:14:51,754
For the little kiddies in the infants schools,
for the unborn millions?
190
00:14:51,789 --> 00:14:53,908
Like Del's and Raquel's nipper?
191
00:14:54,258 --> 00:15:00,143
No, I wasn't actually thinking of him.
Kids with three sixes on their heads don't count, do they?
192
00:15:01,789 --> 00:15:04,864
Alright Del? There's a
fresh pot of tea on the table.
193
00:15:04,899 --> 00:15:10,075
Cheers, Unc. I'll get meself a cup.
I've just been down to Raquel�s antenatal classes.
194
00:15:11,838 --> 00:15:14,049
Full of pregnant women it was.
195
00:15:15,891 --> 00:15:18,486
Everywhere you turned
there was lumps and things.
196
00:15:18,769 --> 00:15:20,420
Why d'you have to go down there?
197
00:15:20,455 --> 00:15:23,221
It's to get us ready for when we go into labour.
198
00:15:23,982 --> 00:15:26,893
Showed us films on how it all happens.
199
00:15:27,920 --> 00:15:30,363
You've already got some of
them in there.
200
00:15:36,785 --> 00:15:42,457
Not those sort of films.
Films about the birth and that.
201
00:15:43,261 --> 00:15:51,399
It�s a miracle, it is. It�s a 42-carat miracle.
Made some of the blokes feel quite ill.
202
00:15:52,117 --> 00:15:55,385
I was alright, �cause I used to run
a jellied eel stall.
203
00:16:00,325 --> 00:16:03,831
So what have you gotta do,
you know, when it happens?
204
00:16:04,078 --> 00:16:06,084
Basically, I�ve gotta keep on me toes.
205
00:16:06,427 --> 00:16:08,526
Make sure the old Capri Ghia
is running smoothly
206
00:16:08,561 --> 00:16:12,203
so I can whip Raquel
down to maternity unit a bit lively.
207
00:16:13,141 --> 00:16:16,436
But the most important thing a father
can do for the woman,
208
00:16:17,179 --> 00:16:25,316
is to show consideration and understanding,
patience and love.
209
00:16:26,565 --> 00:16:30,803
Well, as luck would have it,
I happen to be like that anyway.
210
00:16:31,696 --> 00:16:34,022
But it doesn�t do any harm to be reminded.
211
00:16:34,654 --> 00:16:36,303
So where is Raquel?
212
00:16:36,338 --> 00:16:40,370
Well, the lifts are broken again
and she�s not as lively on her feet as she used to be.
213
00:16:45,905 --> 00:16:48,593
So, how many of those wigs
you sold this week, Rodney?
214
00:16:48,628 --> 00:16:50,841
Roughly, none.
215
00:16:51,681 --> 00:16:54,823
- Well, I sold two tonight.
- You're kidding!
216
00:16:54,858 --> 00:16:59,480
I met this woman down the market.
Her and her husband they work up in the hospital.
217
00:16:59,515 --> 00:17:04,716
Apparently, he's been wearing a syrup for years,
but last week their cat got hold of it.
218
00:17:05,559 --> 00:17:09,132
So she bought one as a surprise for him�
219
00:17:09,167 --> 00:17:13,540
and then I went off to the Nag's Head
and sold one to Trigger.
220
00:17:17,170 --> 00:17:18,809
But he's got hair.
221
00:17:18,844 --> 00:17:22,144
I know that, but he said he wanted one
for an emergency.
222
00:17:24,075 --> 00:17:27,686
There you are, sweetheart. There you are.
Come on. Sit yourself down.
223
00:17:28,186 --> 00:17:31,830
- No, I'll go and change out of these first.
- Alright, I'll get you a cup of tea.
224
00:17:34,954 --> 00:17:39,235
- So how did the antenatal class go?
- It's the last time I take him along.
225
00:17:39,672 --> 00:17:42,723
At the end of the class the doctor
asked if there were any questions.
226
00:17:43,112 --> 00:17:47,310
Del put his hand up and said,
"What time do the pubs close round here?"
227
00:17:48,096 --> 00:17:52,981
That's typical Del.
The world's dying and he's worried about last orders.
228
00:17:53,518 --> 00:17:56,786
- What's up, Rodney?
- He's been watching a green programme.
229
00:17:56,821 --> 00:18:01,957
- They were cutting a few trees down in South America.
- So Sting here's got the hump, has he?
230
00:18:02,179 --> 00:18:07,540
When are people gonna realise
that we don't own this planet, we're merely the leaseholders.
231
00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:12,216
It's our duty to maintain our world.
But what are we doing?
232
00:18:12,501 --> 00:18:15,732
We're suffocating the forests with carbon monoxide!
233
00:18:15,767 --> 00:18:20,300
And that's causing the polar icecap to melt,
which means that the oceans will rise
234
00:18:20,335 --> 00:18:23,114
and the Thames will flood, like permanently.
235
00:18:23,149 --> 00:18:25,229
But we've got the Thames barrier.
236
00:18:25,448 --> 00:18:28,643
That�s not gonna do a lot of good
under 15 feet of water, is it?
237
00:18:28,678 --> 00:18:32,418
I mean, places like Deptford and Greenwich
will be submerged for ever!
238
00:18:32,830 --> 00:18:37,000
- That�ll be handy for us though, innit?
- What do you mean?
239
00:18:37,035 --> 00:18:41,398
Because, when we come to sell this flat
we can advertise it as having sea views!
240
00:18:42,301 --> 00:18:44,840
What a ridiculous thing to say.
241
00:18:45,698 --> 00:18:50,385
Alright, Rodney, what is it?
What's really bothering you?
242
00:18:51,466 --> 00:18:54,044
I've got so many things
worrying me.
243
00:18:55,995 --> 00:19:01,364
The polar cap is melting, the continental
shelves are shifting, the rainforest is dying,
244
00:19:01,399 --> 00:19:03,728
the sea is being poisoned
245
00:19:04,353 --> 00:19:06,629
and I ain't had a bit for months.
246
00:19:11,818 --> 00:19:14,578
That is what's really about, innit?
247
00:19:15,957 --> 00:19:18,754
You ought to think about that poor old git, there.
248
00:19:22,653 --> 00:19:26,734
The last time he had his leg over,
Nelson Mandela was in a borstal!
249
00:19:30,185 --> 00:19:35,293
Derek, please, for once in your life
could you try and take something seriously?
250
00:19:37,708 --> 00:19:41,411
- What's wrong?
- Rodney ain't had a bit for months.
251
00:19:50,567 --> 00:19:52,649
Cor blimey. The things you learn.
252
00:19:52,937 --> 00:19:59,455
Do you realise if all my veins and arteries were
stretched out in a line they�d circle the world twice?
253
00:20:02,232 --> 00:20:04,288
I'd like to try that one day.
254
00:20:06,759 --> 00:20:11,168
- Where's Raquel?
- She had a bit of a twinge, so she's lying down.
255
00:20:13,279 --> 00:20:16,321
- Alright?
- Better than that, Rodney.
256
00:20:16,720 --> 00:20:20,961
I reckon we've had a right result with these syrups.
Guess who I bumped into today?
257
00:20:21,224 --> 00:20:22,948
Telly Savalas?
258
00:20:24,081 --> 00:20:30,281
No. I bumped into that mush Stephen,
the one that used to be Cassandra's boss at the bank.
259
00:20:30,316 --> 00:20:33,012
- The one that you smacked on the nose.
- Oh him!
260
00:20:33,047 --> 00:20:37,570
Yeah, him. Anyway, I bumped into him
down the market today and you'll never guess what.
261
00:20:37,605 --> 00:20:42,070
He's got one of 'em ponytails in his hair
and I said to him,
262
00:20:42,482 --> 00:20:44,161
�Oi, Elmet�, I said,
263
00:20:44,655 --> 00:20:49,363
"What are you doing with that Davy Crockett hat on?"
just to break the ice.
264
00:20:49,683 --> 00:20:54,512
Apparently they're all the fashion up in the City!
All the yuppies are wearing them.
265
00:20:54,547 --> 00:20:56,133
But they look silly on men.
266
00:20:56,168 --> 00:21:00,581
Today the sophisticated, intelligent young men
don't mind making prats of themselves.
267
00:21:01,180 --> 00:21:04,695
�Cause it attracts the sophisticated,
intelligent young ladies.
268
00:21:04,730 --> 00:21:08,478
- I can't see what the attraction is.
- That�s because you're a geezer, innit?
269
00:21:08,513 --> 00:21:11,745
But if you were a career woman you'd get
the hots for those things.
270
00:21:12,626 --> 00:21:14,578
And it don't need batteries.
271
00:21:16,584 --> 00:21:18,592
Now we'll make a fortune on them, Rodders.
272
00:21:19,048 --> 00:21:21,812
- Hello darling, you alright?
- Yeah, I'm OK now.
273
00:21:22,465 --> 00:21:24,623
- What d'you think of Aaron?
- Sorry?
274
00:21:24,821 --> 00:21:28,474
I've been reading the baby's name book.
Aaron Trotter.
275
00:21:28,660 --> 00:21:33,627
No, kids at school'll nickname him G-string.
Aarona G-string. D'you get it?
276
00:21:34,887 --> 00:21:36,395
Yes, unfortunately.
277
00:21:36,637 --> 00:21:39,110
- You gone off the name Rodney?
- Yeah.
278
00:21:39,511 --> 00:21:40,918
Thank God!
279
00:21:41,890 --> 00:21:48,364
- Troy.
- Troy Trotter! I don't think so.
280
00:21:49,055 --> 00:21:51,673
Why don't you just call him Damien, eh?
281
00:21:52,673 --> 00:21:54,342
Damien?
282
00:21:54,864 --> 00:21:59,369
- That's nice.
- No, I was joking, that�s all!
283
00:22:00,686 --> 00:22:04,041
Damien Trotter.
That's got a sort of ring to it there!
284
00:22:04,076 --> 00:22:08,761
No, I was just having a wind-up, that's all.
Why don't you call it Derek?
285
00:22:09,087 --> 00:22:14,105
Yes. Damien Derek Trotter.
286
00:22:14,140 --> 00:22:18,699
You can't call him that!
His initials'll be DDT.
287
00:22:20,519 --> 00:22:23,928
Well, there'll be no flies on him, then,
will there?
288
00:22:25,084 --> 00:22:27,530
No, Del, when I said Damien,
right, I was just having a la...
289
00:22:27,910 --> 00:22:29,403
I�ll get it.
290
00:22:33,776 --> 00:22:35,885
Trotters Independent Traders?
291
00:22:37,025 --> 00:22:41,168
Oh it's you, Cassandra!
And what can I do for you?
292
00:22:43,224 --> 00:22:45,548
And what exactly do you want to
see me about?
293
00:22:47,524 --> 00:22:52,953
Well, I'll pop round and see you.
Next week, next month - who knows?
294
00:22:53,264 --> 00:22:54,882
Thank you for calling. Bye bye.
295
00:23:03,191 --> 00:23:05,063
Wasn't very friendly, was it?
296
00:23:05,098 --> 00:23:07,962
Let people know where they stand,
that's my motto.
297
00:23:08,232 --> 00:23:11,975
Cassandra seems to think,
all she has to do is whistle and I'll come running.
298
00:23:12,357 --> 00:23:17,582
- The least you could do was ask how she was.
- I'll handle this my way, Derek, thank you...
299
00:23:23,414 --> 00:23:26,433
Well, I think I'll pop round
and see how Cassandra is.
300
00:23:26,877 --> 00:23:30,823
Yeah. That's it, bruv.
You've made her wait long enough.
301
00:23:50,046 --> 00:23:54,703
- Why didn't you use your front door key?
- I don�t know. It didn't seem right, somehow.
302
00:23:55,164 --> 00:23:56,514
Come in.
303
00:24:09,870 --> 00:24:14,299
- Would you like a drink?
- Nothing alcoholic, thanks. I've cleaned my act up.
304
00:24:14,501 --> 00:24:17,119
- Good.
- Coffee will be fine.
305
00:24:19,460 --> 00:24:27,569
- So how are things with the parents-to-be?
- Oh, Nelson Mandela House is on on amber alert.
306
00:24:29,732 --> 00:24:34,260
They're all just sitting there waiting
for the second coming of the Prince of Darkness.
307
00:24:36,967 --> 00:24:39,786
I've said to Del you're
gonna have trouble getting that kid shoes.
308
00:24:39,821 --> 00:24:42,677
cause Mothercare don't cater for cloven hooves.
309
00:24:42,712 --> 00:24:44,587
That poor baby!
310
00:24:44,622 --> 00:24:46,525
Poor baby nothing.
311
00:24:48,254 --> 00:24:50,623
All the ancient prophecies are coming true.
312
00:24:51,123 --> 00:24:54,462
The Satanic forces are gathering
in the skies above Peckham,
313
00:24:54,497 --> 00:25:00,821
Raquel's looking more like Mia Farrow every day.
So, what you been up to then? Anything exciting?
314
00:25:00,856 --> 00:25:04,785
- Not really. I saw Stephen today.
- Oh, yeah.
315
00:25:04,820 --> 00:25:07,343
D'you remember Stephen?
He used to work at my branch.
316
00:25:08,716 --> 00:25:12,514
- He's been moved up to head office.
- Cosmic.
317
00:25:13,349 --> 00:25:16,070
- You remember you used to call him a wally?
- Yeah.
318
00:25:16,280 --> 00:25:19,034
- I think you were right.
- Was I?
319
00:25:19,307 --> 00:25:24,626
You'll never guess.
He's only got one of those silly little ponytails.
320
00:25:28,631 --> 00:25:30,304
What a wally!
321
00:25:30,525 --> 00:25:33,280
He looks like he's wearing
a Davy Crockett hat!
322
00:25:36,077 --> 00:25:40,431
- I thought they was in the fashion, though.
- Yeah, amongst lame-brains!
323
00:25:47,659 --> 00:25:50,369
- What's wrong?
- Nothing!
324
00:25:51,245 --> 00:25:53,917
- Are you OK?
- Yeah, I'm fine.
325
00:25:59,410 --> 00:26:05,072
It was a nice Sunday, weren�t it?
Well, apart from the row we had in the maze.
326
00:26:06,216 --> 00:26:12,463
Yeah. I was right, though, wasn't I?
My way out was quickest.
327
00:26:12,498 --> 00:26:16,390
I don't think so. I had a look at the map
of the maze when I got home and I found...
328
00:26:17,904 --> 00:26:22,296
Yeah, I suppose so.
So, is that what you wanted to see me about?
329
00:26:22,331 --> 00:26:25,037
To discuss the quickest way out
of Hampton Court maze?
330
00:26:25,286 --> 00:26:30,404
No. I wanted to discuss us
and what's happening to us.
331
00:26:31,087 --> 00:26:37,034
Mummy and Daddy - well, Mummy really �
insisted that I saw our solicitor for advice.
332
00:26:38,580 --> 00:26:40,278
Getting that heavy, is it?
333
00:26:40,784 --> 00:26:43,994
No, it's not getting heavy
it was just for advice, that's all.
334
00:26:44,892 --> 00:26:50,023
And what did your solicitor advise?
Take the git for every penny he's got, I suppose?
335
00:26:50,408 --> 00:26:52,179
Don't expect a cheque from me, Cass.
336
00:26:52,214 --> 00:26:55,615
If you want half my estate
you can have it on a postal order.
337
00:26:56,062 --> 00:26:59,702
He didn't say anything like that.
He advised us to talk.
338
00:26:59,737 --> 00:27:02,538
Talk? That�s what causes the rows!
339
00:27:02,573 --> 00:27:08,599
That's what I said. But he advised us to try
and find out why we argue every time we speak.
340
00:27:08,634 --> 00:27:11,242
And what did you tell him?
It was my fault, I suppose?
341
00:27:12,059 --> 00:27:15,086
No, I didn't.
I said we were both to blame.
342
00:27:16,077 --> 00:27:18,995
He asked whether we'd
considered adding to our numbers
343
00:27:19,197 --> 00:27:21,913
something to concentrate
both our attentions.
344
00:27:23,480 --> 00:27:25,182
What, a baby?
345
00:27:25,217 --> 00:27:31,954
No, a dog. I don't think a baby
would be a good career move.
346
00:27:31,989 --> 00:27:33,859
Yeah, but I don't like dogs.
347
00:27:33,894 --> 00:27:37,879
Well, I don't mind them, it's just that
when I was little I got bitten by a Jack Russell.
348
00:27:39,322 --> 00:27:44,174
And a sausage dog,
and this half-poodle thing.
349
00:27:44,735 --> 00:27:49,696
Dogs just sort of bite me - it's an instinct.
How about a cat?
350
00:27:49,731 --> 00:27:52,572
No. I'm allergic.
I come out in a rash.
351
00:27:52,607 --> 00:27:56,464
- How about a parrot?
- No, they take so much looking after.
352
00:27:57,260 --> 00:28:01,834
- A gerbil?
- No. I can�t stand furry little things that run around.
353
00:28:01,869 --> 00:28:03,661
Make me go all funny.
354
00:28:03,696 --> 00:28:07,175
So we're looking for something
that don't take too much looking after,
355
00:28:07,210 --> 00:28:10,540
isn�t gonna run around a lot
and don't bring you out in a rash?
356
00:28:12,638 --> 00:28:15,069
How about a tin of salmon?
357
00:28:17,329 --> 00:28:20,213
Don't get sarcastic, Roddy.
358
00:28:21,366 --> 00:28:24,318
We could give it a name,
Rex or something.
359
00:28:25,622 --> 00:28:28,196
Then we could take it to the vets
for its injections.
360
00:28:29,618 --> 00:28:33,379
Put a bit of string round it and take it
for a walk every evening.
361
00:28:34,852 --> 00:28:38,467
And it wouldn't take much training, would it?
We could just threaten it with a tin-opener.
362
00:28:38,929 --> 00:28:43,434
See what I mean? We tried to talk
and you�ve just gone ridiculous again.
363
00:28:43,469 --> 00:28:46,282
It�s just �cause you put an obstacle
in front of every good idea!
364
00:28:46,317 --> 00:28:48,363
I was perfectly happy with a dog,
365
00:28:48,398 --> 00:28:51,957
just because you've been bitten
three or four times, you dismissed the idea.
366
00:28:52,285 --> 00:28:55,246
Alright, let�s get a dog!
Let's get a Doberman.
367
00:28:55,511 --> 00:28:59,596
Let the sod rip me limbs off and drink me blood!
I don't care as long as you�re happy.
368
00:28:59,811 --> 00:29:02,806
At this moment in time
that would make me ecstatic, Roddy!
369
00:29:04,328 --> 00:29:05,952
Right, fine...
370
00:29:06,350 --> 00:29:09,318
- �I'm going down the Nag's Head.�
- I'm going down the Nag's...
371
00:29:13,098 --> 00:29:17,819
Cass, we really ought to try harder
to make this work.
372
00:29:18,492 --> 00:29:23,190
If not for us then for our tin of salmon.
373
00:29:24,923 --> 00:29:28,582
- I'll phone you.
- Alright.
374
00:29:33,762 --> 00:29:38,331
- Down there by the chair. It's a mouse!
- A mouse? How'd a mouse get in here?
375
00:29:38,366 --> 00:29:42,386
- How the hell should I know! Get rid of it!
- Alright, alright. Just stay cool.
376
00:29:46,598 --> 00:29:49,525
- That�s not a mouse!
- What is it, then?
377
00:29:49,560 --> 00:29:51,113
It's the...
378
00:29:54,072 --> 00:29:55,770
It's a rat!
379
00:29:56,976 --> 00:29:58,323
You'll frighten it!
380
00:29:58,358 --> 00:30:01,030
- Get rid of it, Roddy, please!
- OK.
381
00:30:02,591 --> 00:30:04,226
You sure you don't wanna keep it
as a pet?
382
00:30:04,261 --> 00:30:06,475
- Get it out!
- Alright. Alright.
383
00:30:06,510 --> 00:30:11,488
- Do you want a broom to hit it with?
- No, it's alright. I've got me hands.
384
00:30:15,967 --> 00:30:17,826
Blimey, he's a strong one.
385
00:30:19,756 --> 00:30:25,778
He's struggling!
Are you sure you don't want to keep it as a pet?
386
00:30:25,813 --> 00:30:28,664
- Roddy!
- It's alright. I got it.
387
00:30:29,292 --> 00:30:30,643
Out of the way!
388
00:30:35,878 --> 00:30:39,319
I threw it out the landing window,
I think I killed it.
389
00:30:40,288 --> 00:30:44,646
- Oh Roddy!
- It's alright, it�s alright.
390
00:30:46,159 --> 00:30:48,080
I'm here.
391
00:31:03,767 --> 00:31:07,228
Oh, no! Me wig's going bald!
392
00:31:09,426 --> 00:31:12,846
This is gonna take
a bit of creative salesmanship, isn�t it?
393
00:31:13,457 --> 00:31:17,091
I know what I�ll say.
I'll say it's the Bruce Willis look.
394
00:31:18,759 --> 00:31:21,802
- During the war...
- Del, I think we better go.
395
00:31:21,837 --> 00:31:24,804
Yeah, I think you�re right.
Goodnight, Albert. Goodnight.
396
00:31:24,839 --> 00:31:28,511
- Not to bed! To the hospital. It's started.
- Are you sure?
397
00:31:28,546 --> 00:31:31,471
Yes, I've been timing the contractions.
We'd better go.
398
00:31:31,506 --> 00:31:35,135
The baby's on its way.
Do something, Del! Don't just sit there!
399
00:31:35,170 --> 00:31:37,457
- Calm down! Calm down.
- What are we gonna do?
400
00:31:38,435 --> 00:31:41,504
Phone someone! There's a bay on its way!
401
00:31:42,864 --> 00:31:47,279
Listen to me! I want you to go into my bedroom
and you�ll find a leather-look flight bag.
402
00:31:47,314 --> 00:31:49,584
It contains all of Raquel's hospital things.
403
00:31:49,619 --> 00:31:52,643
You go and get it,
take it downstairs to my Capri Ghia.
404
00:31:52,678 --> 00:31:56,651
- Alright?
- Alright, Del. I'll go and get it. What's it look like?
405
00:31:56,686 --> 00:32:02,181
Well, it looks like a fridge!
It's a bag, innit, you old div! Now go on!
406
00:32:02,216 --> 00:32:04,243
Aye, aye, Del. Leave it to me.
407
00:32:04,495 --> 00:32:06,812
Alright sweetheart. Nice and calm.
408
00:32:07,238 --> 00:32:11,985
Nice and calm, that's what they showed us
in the hospital. Albert, will you hurry up?
409
00:32:22,754 --> 00:32:25,627
- Hello?
- Cassandra, it�s Del Boy.
410
00:32:25,662 --> 00:32:28,575
What d'you want, Del? It's 11.30!
411
00:32:28,610 --> 00:32:32,955
I'm sorry to wake you, sweetheart,
I'm trying to find Rodney.
412
00:32:32,990 --> 00:32:38,137
Rodney? He was here earlier,
but he left about an hour ago. What's wrong?
413
00:32:39,502 --> 00:32:44,151
- Raquel's is gonna give birth to our baby.
- Have the labour pains started?
414
00:32:46,574 --> 00:32:49,373
You'll phone me as soon as the baby's born,
won't you?
415
00:32:49,408 --> 00:32:53,497
Yes, of course I will, sweetheart.
It�s just that I wanted Rodney to be there.
416
00:32:53,532 --> 00:32:55,098
Here you are sweetheart, take your coat.
417
00:32:55,133 --> 00:32:59,986
Listen, I'll give you a bell as soon
as I get some news. Bonjour.
418
00:33:00,021 --> 00:33:03,174
Give Raquel my love and
tell her I'll be in to see her soon.
419
00:33:03,209 --> 00:33:04,599
Yes, I will.
420
00:33:04,798 --> 00:33:08,378
And give Rodney a nudge
and tell him to get his arse down the hospital.
421
00:33:08,413 --> 00:33:10,046
Alright, Del.
422
00:33:11,620 --> 00:33:13,112
Del wants you with him!
423
00:33:13,147 --> 00:33:17,140
That's ridiculous! I've never heard
of the uncle being at the birth before!
424
00:33:17,175 --> 00:33:20,290
He doesn't want you in the delivery room!
Just at the hospital with him!
425
00:33:20,325 --> 00:33:24,579
You don't know him like I do! He'll have me
holding her leg in the air or something.
426
00:33:24,614 --> 00:33:26,320
I'll get your clothes.
427
00:33:27,174 --> 00:33:30,670
- Oh Cass! I'm comfy here!
- Here's your trousers.
428
00:33:32,621 --> 00:33:38,572
Oh God, it's a full moon!
Son of Del is being born on a full moon!
429
00:33:39,238 --> 00:33:41,514
I knew it! I bloody knew it!
430
00:33:42,447 --> 00:33:45,796
A couple of hours from now you
won't be able to sleep for the sound of howling.
431
00:33:45,831 --> 00:33:48,627
Oh don't be so silly!
Now where are the keys to the van?
432
00:33:48,662 --> 00:33:51,212
Where's me crucifix?
That's what I want to know.
433
00:33:55,946 --> 00:33:59,669
Oh look, Roddy, it's that rat you killed earlier!
434
00:33:59,704 --> 00:34:03,048
Doesn't it look like a clip
on ponytail when you get close up?
435
00:34:03,945 --> 00:34:07,900
- Ah no, listen, I never said it was a rat!
- You liar!
436
00:34:07,935 --> 00:34:13,217
I said it looked like a rat! And it did, didn't it?
I mean, you thought it was a mouse!
437
00:34:14,090 --> 00:34:15,804
Where'd you get it from?
438
00:34:16,089 --> 00:34:19,884
I was gonna wear it as a joke.
It must have fallen out of me pocket.
439
00:34:20,534 --> 00:34:24,890
I could report you to the police.
You took advantage of me, twice!
440
00:34:25,325 --> 00:34:30,095
I know, if the case goes to court,
would you say three times?
441
00:34:30,130 --> 00:34:34,532
You're lucky you're on your way to hospital.
It'll save the ambulance a journey.
442
00:34:34,567 --> 00:34:38,350
Now, come on, Cass, pack it in.
I've got a brother about to give birth!
443
00:34:42,668 --> 00:34:46,003
Alright, sweetheart,
the nurse has gone to get the delivery team.
444
00:34:46,338 --> 00:34:49,849
You've had your enema.
Everything's going according to plan.
445
00:34:50,112 --> 00:34:52,998
You're gonna stay here, aren't you, Del?
Don't go running off and leaving me.
446
00:34:53,033 --> 00:34:55,765
I'm not going anywhere, sweetheart.
I'm staying with you.
447
00:35:08,132 --> 00:35:10,556
Are those the specialists, Rodney?
448
00:35:11,397 --> 00:35:15,938
No, they've just come back from a fancy-dress party.
Of course they're the specialists.
449
00:35:17,552 --> 00:35:19,515
Alright? Good.
450
00:35:20,246 --> 00:35:22,350
Who is it? Friend or enema?
451
00:35:23,529 --> 00:35:27,147
- Friend or enema�
- Shut up, Del.
452
00:35:27,704 --> 00:35:31,204
Yeah, shut up, Del. It's alright, darling.
I�m going to see who it is. You stay there, alright?
453
00:35:33,213 --> 00:35:37,090
- The specialists are on their way, Del.
- Thanks, Unc. You go and sit down, go on.
454
00:35:38,898 --> 00:35:40,535
Here they come. That�s it.
Thank you.
455
00:35:40,570 --> 00:35:42,671
Excuse me, excuse me, John.
We're having a baby in here.
456
00:35:42,706 --> 00:35:46,958
- I know, that's why I'm here.
- What are you, a pervo or something?
457
00:35:46,993 --> 00:35:51,323
- This is Mr McCullum. He's the midwife.
- He's a bloke.
458
00:35:51,358 --> 00:35:55,055
I'm a trained midwife.
Now, please get out of my way.
459
00:35:55,090 --> 00:35:57,864
- Just let him do his job, Del.
- No, he's a bloke.
460
00:35:57,899 --> 00:36:01,154
I don't care if he's a trained chimp!
Get out of his way.
461
00:36:01,893 --> 00:36:04,419
Alright, alright, but you just watch it though?
462
00:36:04,900 --> 00:36:07,189
Calm down, calm down.
Remember your blood pressure.
463
00:36:07,382 --> 00:36:10,175
- How are you feeling, Raquel?
- Not too bad at the moment.
464
00:36:10,485 --> 00:36:12,523
- Have you timed the contractions?
- Three minutes.
465
00:36:12,558 --> 00:36:14,427
- Is that good?
- Yes, that's good.
466
00:36:14,462 --> 00:36:15,853
Cushty.
467
00:36:15,888 --> 00:36:18,633
- Would you set the monitor up?
- Nurse, the gas and air.
468
00:36:20,042 --> 00:36:23,080
- What's that thing for?
- It monitors the baby's heartbeat.
469
00:36:24,488 --> 00:36:26,014
Lovely Jubbly.
470
00:36:30,218 --> 00:36:34,779
- It's going to be a boy. I know it is.
- Can't be sure of anything, son.
471
00:36:35,187 --> 00:36:41,928
No, it's a boy. Mars and something else
have come into conjunction
472
00:36:41,963 --> 00:36:47,102
and decided that he would be born in Peckham.
473
00:36:49,226 --> 00:36:51,674
They've got the baby's heartbeat.
474
00:36:52,198 --> 00:36:55,923
Half an hour's time we'll have the
bestest knees up our family's ever known.
475
00:36:56,295 --> 00:36:57,860
Is everything alright, Del?
476
00:36:57,895 --> 00:37:01,186
Everything's absolutely fine. The baby's fine.
Raquel's fine.
477
00:37:01,499 --> 00:37:06,098
In 48 hours' time we'll be going back to the flat
with another addition to the Trotter family.
478
00:37:06,359 --> 00:37:09,037
Oi, Del. Have they said
anything about the sex?
479
00:37:09,226 --> 00:37:14,054
- Oh give her time, Rodney.
- No, I mean...
480
00:37:32,098 --> 00:37:34,026
How much longer is it gonna take?
481
00:37:34,420 --> 00:37:37,917
It's alright, sweetheart, alright.
He'll take as long as he needs to take.
482
00:37:38,549 --> 00:37:45,930
He wants to make sure that he gets everything just right,
�cause he's a perfectionist, like his dad.
483
00:37:45,965 --> 00:37:48,051
I was talking about the midwife.
484
00:37:48,401 --> 00:37:51,641
Oh I see. Oi, you, pal,
how much longer is this gonna take?
485
00:37:51,676 --> 00:37:54,216
Nature will run its course, Mr Trotter.
486
00:37:54,251 --> 00:37:58,079
When the baby's ready to put in an appearance,
he'll let us now.
487
00:37:58,311 --> 00:38:00,765
Push Raquel! Push as hard as you can!
488
00:38:01,507 --> 00:38:04,176
Go on, give it everything you got, girl.
489
00:38:08,401 --> 00:38:10,920
Don't you ever come near me again, Trotter.
490
00:38:11,600 --> 00:38:13,590
There's no need to be like that,
sweetheart.
491
00:38:14,592 --> 00:38:17,175
- I suppose they're all like this, are they?
- No.
492
00:38:18,681 --> 00:38:20,413
I'll get the gas and air.
493
00:38:32,864 --> 00:38:39,581
Raquel, Raquel, I can see his head.
He's got a full head of hair.
494
00:38:42,739 --> 00:38:45,045
Some bloody spiv.
495
00:38:50,129 --> 00:38:51,986
I'll scrub up.
496
00:39:23,855 --> 00:39:27,006
Come on, Raquel,
give it some welly, girl!
497
00:39:29,800 --> 00:39:33,202
Shouldn't be too long now, Raquel.
The contractions are becoming more frequent.
498
00:39:33,237 --> 00:39:37,329
I know... I'm the one having the contractions.
Would you let go of my leg, Del?
499
00:39:37,607 --> 00:39:40,420
Alright, sorry sweetheart.
Would you like some gas and air?
500
00:39:40,455 --> 00:39:41,932
No thank you.
501
00:39:49,847 --> 00:39:54,520
It's good stuff, this.
Better not tell Rodney about it.
502
00:39:55,217 --> 00:39:58,874
- Oh no, here's another one.
- Push hard, there's a good girl.
503
00:39:58,909 --> 00:40:02,163
- Del, can I hold your hand?
- Yes, of course you can, sweetheart, go on.
504
00:40:04,096 --> 00:40:06,636
- Push.
- Steady on, Raquel, steady on.
505
00:40:28,621 --> 00:40:31,981
- Did that hurt, Del?
- Yes, it did a bit, sweetheart.
506
00:40:32,016 --> 00:40:34,526
Now you know
what it's bloody well like!
507
00:40:36,114 --> 00:40:38,869
This giving birth
ain't all it's cracked up to be, is it?
508
00:40:40,646 --> 00:40:42,622
- Breathe easily, Raquel.
- Nice and deeply.
509
00:40:44,746 --> 00:40:47,227
Breathe easily.
Breathe easily Raquel.
510
00:40:51,538 --> 00:40:54,630
I can see its head.
Raquel, I can see his head!
511
00:40:54,889 --> 00:40:59,355
- That's very good. The head's in position.
- I can see his head, Raquel!
512
00:41:02,629 --> 00:41:05,398
Rodney, I can see his head!
513
00:41:07,043 --> 00:41:10,392
Is it... you know, normal?
514
00:41:10,606 --> 00:41:14,030
Normal? What do you mean, normal?
Of course it's normal. I mean it's just a head.
515
00:41:14,371 --> 00:41:18,086
There aren't any sort of numbers on it?
516
00:41:18,121 --> 00:41:22,254
Numbers? What are you talking about, Rodney?
What do you think this is, a bloody raffle?
517
00:41:24,878 --> 00:41:26,540
That's it, Raquel.
518
00:41:29,252 --> 00:41:33,439
There we are. The head's out.
Relax now. Just relax for a minute.
519
00:41:36,512 --> 00:41:44,756
Raquel, it's his face. He's got a little eyes.
And he�s got a little nose. He's got little ears.
520
00:41:46,253 --> 00:41:48,867
Come on Raquel. One more push.
521
00:42:01,814 --> 00:42:09,896
- Well, that's it then. It's all over.
- Well, that's me off then.
522
00:42:10,330 --> 00:42:11,934
Don't you want to see the baby?
523
00:42:11,969 --> 00:42:14,306
No, I'm not fussed.
I can see it tomorrow, can't I?
524
00:42:14,341 --> 00:42:18,915
Del won't like it if you go.
It's important to him that you stay here, Rodney.
525
00:42:39,601 --> 00:42:41,942
It's a baby, Raquel.
526
00:42:42,243 --> 00:42:46,345
Is it? I've been wondering
what that swelling was.
527
00:42:47,524 --> 00:42:50,179
We've got ourselves
a lovely little baby.
528
00:42:50,785 --> 00:42:56,330
- I know. I love you.
- I love you too, sweetheart.
529
00:43:02,163 --> 00:43:07,259
We've done it!
We've only bloody done it!
530
00:43:07,532 --> 00:43:10,644
- Congratulations, son.
- What is it Del?
531
00:43:11,195 --> 00:43:16,440
- It's a little baby, Rodney.
- Is it a boy or a girl?
532
00:43:18,233 --> 00:43:19,877
Oh, hang on.
533
00:43:22,793 --> 00:43:24,888
Is it a boy or a girl?
534
00:43:28,733 --> 00:43:36,816
It's a boy. I�ll tell you what, he won't be
frightened to get changed in the showers.
535
00:43:39,252 --> 00:43:41,315
It's a boy.
536
00:43:52,245 --> 00:43:56,426
Well, Mr Trotter, if he keeps you awake at night,
don't bring him back to us.
537
00:43:57,075 --> 00:44:02,244
No thanks, sister. He can keep me awake
as long as he likes. Thanks, doc.
538
00:44:02,279 --> 00:44:04,942
My pleasure, and sorry about this.
539
00:44:06,243 --> 00:44:08,989
That's alright. Here, listen.
If you like I can get you a real good 'un.
540
00:44:09,024 --> 00:44:11,831
They normally retail at 100 quid up West,
to you, nothing.
541
00:44:11,866 --> 00:44:14,194
No, really. I don't think I'll bother any more.
542
00:44:14,509 --> 00:44:16,674
- Congratulations.
- Thanks very much.
543
00:44:18,439 --> 00:44:22,298
He's gorgeous. Look at that little face.
544
00:44:24,011 --> 00:44:26,918
You want to look down there.
He's got no worries.
545
00:44:27,518 --> 00:44:29,227
If you say so, Del.
546
00:44:30,679 --> 00:44:33,100
I'll bet you wouldn't say no
to a cup of tea?
547
00:44:33,135 --> 00:44:37,985
- Yeah, not half. Would you like one love?
- Yes please.
548
00:44:38,445 --> 00:44:40,481
Get Raquel one an' all,
will you sweetheart?
549
00:44:46,284 --> 00:44:48,112
I'll get Rodney and Albert.
550
00:44:51,119 --> 00:44:53,425
Rodney, Albert, come on, come on.
551
00:44:53,798 --> 00:44:56,480
Here, cover yourself up, sweetheart.
You might catch cold.
552
00:45:01,499 --> 00:45:04,102
Here, give him to me, sweetheart.
553
00:45:09,988 --> 00:45:17,873
Rodney, Albert,
let me introduce you to Damien.
554
00:45:28,016 --> 00:45:32,071
- He's got your eyes, Del.
- Yeah.
555
00:45:33,753 --> 00:45:35,852
You wanna see him down there!
556
00:45:37,844 --> 00:45:39,922
Come on, you, come with me for a minute.
557
00:45:53,687 --> 00:46:01,520
There you are, Mum. I know you can see us.
There he is, look, your first grandchild.
558
00:46:01,555 --> 00:46:05,259
- And last.
- And the last.
559
00:46:06,960 --> 00:46:13,349
Oh, you are such a lucky little boy,
you really are.
560
00:46:14,209 --> 00:46:19,189
You've got a mummy and daddy who think
you're the most precious thing in the whole wide world.
561
00:46:20,980 --> 00:46:25,827
You've got a lovely family around you.
You have, look.
562
00:46:27,464 --> 00:46:30,196
You've got your Uncle Rodney to play with.
563
00:46:31,725 --> 00:46:38,866
Great-Uncle Albert. He'll tell you about all the places
in the world he's been to. And sunk.
564
00:46:42,285 --> 00:46:44,074
And there's me.
565
00:46:45,029 --> 00:46:48,118
And you're gonna have all the things
your daddy couldn't afford.
566
00:46:49,440 --> 00:46:53,873
�cause I've been a bit of a dreamer, you know.
Yeah, I have.
567
00:46:54,315 --> 00:47:02,035
You know I wanted to do things, be someone,
but I never had what it took.
568
00:47:02,422 --> 00:47:07,321
But you're different, you're gonna
live my dreams for me
569
00:47:07,611 --> 00:47:09,670
and you�re gonna do all the things
I wanted to do
570
00:47:09,705 --> 00:47:12,169
and you're gonna come
back and tell me about them.
571
00:47:12,469 --> 00:47:15,111
Tell me if they're as good as I thought they�d be.
572
00:47:15,914 --> 00:47:19,786
And you're gonna have such fun. You are!
573
00:47:20,628 --> 00:47:25,398
And when you get the hump,
�cause you're bound to get the hump sometimes,
574
00:47:26,492 --> 00:47:28,680
I'll muck about and make you laugh.
575
00:47:30,344 --> 00:47:35,041
�cause I've mucked about all my life,
and I never knew the reason why until now.
576
00:47:36,773 --> 00:47:42,547
This is what it's all about.
I was born for this moment.
577
00:47:43,079 --> 00:47:50,310
Yes. Oh we're gonna have such fun,
we are, you mark my words.
578
00:47:53,423 --> 00:47:58,164
This time next year we'll be millionaires.
579
00:47:58,214 --> 00:48:02,764
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