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1
00:00:01,339 --> 00:00:02,574
- Hey!
- [Gunshot]
2
00:00:02,642 --> 00:00:04,012
Billy: Jim!
3
00:00:04,079 --> 00:00:06,420
Steve: Oh, my God! Somebody call 911!
4
00:00:06,487 --> 00:00:08,725
[Siren wails]
5
00:00:10,900 --> 00:00:12,873
Hey, Jim.
6
00:00:12,941 --> 00:00:14,880
You've been through the wars, buddy.
7
00:00:14,947 --> 00:00:16,683
You got yourself a little scratch.
8
00:00:16,750 --> 00:00:18,151
Hey, man.
9
00:00:18,219 --> 00:00:20,660
Uh, what, uh, what's happened?
10
00:00:20,727 --> 00:00:23,300
You were shot, Jim.
11
00:00:25,069 --> 00:00:26,904
H-how long have I been in here?
12
00:00:26,972 --> 00:00:29,477
A couple of days.
13
00:00:29,544 --> 00:00:31,611
Where's Steve? Where... Is he okay?
14
00:00:31,679 --> 00:00:33,012
Oh, yeah, Steve's fine.
15
00:00:33,080 --> 00:00:34,650
He went off to get a couple of sodas.
16
00:00:34,718 --> 00:00:36,756
He's quite the hero.
17
00:00:36,823 --> 00:00:38,825
The doctors said if it wasn't
for him stopping the blood,
18
00:00:38,893 --> 00:00:40,494
you'd have been a goner.
19
00:00:40,562 --> 00:00:41,830
Hi.
20
00:00:41,898 --> 00:00:43,835
Steve.
21
00:00:43,903 --> 00:00:46,171
Thank you so much.
22
00:00:46,238 --> 00:00:47,740
No problem, man.
23
00:00:47,808 --> 00:00:49,879
Mr. Jefferies. How are you feeling?
24
00:00:49,947 --> 00:00:50,914
I feel amazing.
25
00:00:50,982 --> 00:00:52,550
That would be the morphine.
26
00:00:52,617 --> 00:00:54,352
When it starts to wear off,
27
00:00:54,421 --> 00:00:56,657
just click the button next to your bed.
28
00:00:56,725 --> 00:00:58,596
[Button clicks rapidly]
29
00:00:58,663 --> 00:01:00,765
It's on a timer.
30
00:01:00,832 --> 00:01:03,735
So, uh, what's... What do we do now?
31
00:01:03,803 --> 00:01:06,106
Well, I'm gonna prescribe you
some medication for the pain...
32
00:01:06,174 --> 00:01:08,812
oxycontin and some Ambien
to help you sleep...
33
00:01:08,880 --> 00:01:11,049
but you're free to go home.
34
00:01:11,116 --> 00:01:14,990
Steve: Oh, my gosh. Look
at all these reporters.
35
00:01:15,058 --> 00:01:16,760
Here we go.
36
00:01:16,828 --> 00:01:18,496
Get out of the way!
37
00:01:18,563 --> 00:01:20,364
Reporter: Jim! Jim!
38
00:01:20,432 --> 00:01:22,601
All right, you parasites,
come on! What's going on?
39
00:01:22,669 --> 00:01:24,237
Jim! Jim, how are you feeling right now?
40
00:01:24,305 --> 00:01:25,908
Uh, never felt better.
41
00:01:25,975 --> 00:01:27,546
Jim, what do you want to
say to the guy who shot you?
42
00:01:27,614 --> 00:01:29,317
I'm sure the police are
doing everything they can.
43
00:01:29,385 --> 00:01:30,885
How do you feel about gun control now?
44
00:01:30,953 --> 00:01:32,786
I don't think about it.
45
00:01:32,854 --> 00:01:34,456
Come on, Jim, talk to us! Is
it true this was all a hoax?
46
00:01:34,523 --> 00:01:36,025
Don't worry about them,
man. Don't worry about them.
47
00:01:36,093 --> 00:01:39,635
All: Surprise!
48
00:01:39,703 --> 00:01:41,069
[Cheers distort]
49
00:01:41,137 --> 00:01:42,171
- [Gunshot]
- Steve: Oh, my God! Jim!
50
00:01:42,239 --> 00:01:44,741
[Party poppers pop]
51
00:01:47,811 --> 00:01:50,081
[Sighs]
52
00:01:52,848 --> 00:01:54,752
[Indistinct conversations]
53
00:01:54,820 --> 00:01:56,788
[Mid-tempo music playing]
54
00:01:59,690 --> 00:02:01,992
See, I like you. You're
not afraid of balloons.
55
00:02:02,060 --> 00:02:03,561
Rodney: Cheers, everybody.
56
00:02:03,628 --> 00:02:05,960
[Talking stops]
57
00:02:06,028 --> 00:02:09,697
Hey, sorry about that. I, uh, had a moment.
58
00:02:09,765 --> 00:02:12,131
[All talking at once]
59
00:02:12,198 --> 00:02:14,130
Uh, this is really nice. Thank you.
60
00:02:14,198 --> 00:02:15,998
Let's have some fun, right? It's a party.
61
00:02:16,065 --> 00:02:17,766
Get back to it. Come on.
62
00:02:17,833 --> 00:02:19,733
[Indistinct conversations]
63
00:02:22,502 --> 00:02:24,538
Got a little something for
you, Jim. Give it to him, babe.
64
00:02:24,606 --> 00:02:25,406
Take it.
65
00:02:25,474 --> 00:02:27,140
Yeah?
66
00:02:27,208 --> 00:02:31,074
So, all I have to do to
get free coke is get shot.
67
00:02:31,142 --> 00:02:33,176
That's very sweet of you.
68
00:02:33,244 --> 00:02:34,411
Enjoy.
69
00:02:34,479 --> 00:02:36,809
To be honest with you,
70
00:02:36,877 --> 00:02:38,676
I'm not really the guy to
even talk to about this.
71
00:02:38,743 --> 00:02:41,146
I don't remember a single... Steve saw it.
72
00:02:41,213 --> 00:02:43,116
You should ask Steve. He knew...
73
00:02:43,183 --> 00:02:44,451
Look, Forrest, just take it. It's fine.
74
00:02:44,518 --> 00:02:46,285
Doctor said
75
00:02:46,353 --> 00:02:47,951
bullet went in one side of
the shoulder and out the other
76
00:02:48,019 --> 00:02:50,150
and it didn't hit any
arteries and I'm gonna be fine.
77
00:02:50,218 --> 00:02:52,784
I got the same injury in laser tag.
78
00:02:52,852 --> 00:02:54,186
Yeah, I remember that. Yeah.
79
00:02:54,253 --> 00:02:55,754
You're very luck, amigo.
80
00:02:55,822 --> 00:02:57,854
It's funny. I don't...
I don't feel very lucky.
81
00:02:57,922 --> 00:02:59,686
Could be in one of these.
82
00:02:59,754 --> 00:03:01,653
I think you are pretty lucky.
83
00:03:01,721 --> 00:03:04,924
Hey, Jim! How are you doing, pal?
84
00:03:04,992 --> 00:03:06,192
I've been better.
85
00:03:06,259 --> 00:03:08,128
Yeah. Listen, I got you a cookie tree.
86
00:03:08,195 --> 00:03:10,463
Everybody else got you flowers.
I thought that was kind of gay.
87
00:03:10,531 --> 00:03:12,230
Cookie trees are super masculine.
88
00:03:12,298 --> 00:03:13,430
What are you doing here, Mike?
89
00:03:13,498 --> 00:03:14,995
You getting shot
90
00:03:15,063 --> 00:03:17,994
was just the shot in the
arm your career needed,
91
00:03:18,062 --> 00:03:20,062
and I am gonna make you the
biggest stand-up comedian
92
00:03:20,130 --> 00:03:21,463
in the world.
93
00:03:21,531 --> 00:03:22,962
But, Mike, you're not my agent anymore.
94
00:03:23,030 --> 00:03:24,162
You fired me.
95
00:03:24,230 --> 00:03:25,830
I didn't fire you. I quit.
96
00:03:25,898 --> 00:03:27,799
You don't need to do anything,
I don't need an agent,
97
00:03:27,867 --> 00:03:29,833
'cause I'm not gonna be
doing stand-up anymore.
98
00:03:29,901 --> 00:03:31,702
What? What are you gonna do, Jim?
99
00:03:31,770 --> 00:03:33,271
[Inhales deeply]
100
00:03:33,339 --> 00:03:35,507
I'm just gonna, um, clear my head,
101
00:03:35,575 --> 00:03:37,476
stay here, and I'm gonna get better.
102
00:03:37,544 --> 00:03:38,979
- Wait, just one se...
- Hey! Hands off, man.
103
00:03:39,047 --> 00:03:40,514
- He got shot.
- [Sighs]
104
00:03:40,582 --> 00:03:42,848
All right, look. AEG
wants to do a world tour.
105
00:03:42,916 --> 00:03:44,450
They want to call it
"The Right to Bear Arms."
106
00:03:44,517 --> 00:03:46,916
The poster is you, sleeveless,
showing off the wound.
107
00:03:46,983 --> 00:03:51,653
Eight months, 100 cities, $1.2
million minimum... minimum.
108
00:03:51,721 --> 00:03:53,788
Dollars?
109
00:03:53,856 --> 00:03:56,190
Jim, you're famous. Don't you get it?
110
00:03:56,257 --> 00:03:58,091
You're in.
111
00:03:58,158 --> 00:04:00,356
No? That's it?
112
00:04:00,424 --> 00:04:02,157
That's it.
113
00:04:02,225 --> 00:04:03,892
Okay, well, then, you
know what? You're fired.
114
00:04:03,960 --> 00:04:06,428
You can't fire me. I haven't rehired you.
115
00:04:06,495 --> 00:04:07,494
All right, then, I quit again.
116
00:04:07,560 --> 00:04:08,893
There's nothing to quit.
117
00:04:08,961 --> 00:04:11,429
Okay. Fine. Fine. Then, you know what?
118
00:04:11,497 --> 00:04:15,399
Have a nice life, and,
uh, good luck with this.
119
00:04:17,733 --> 00:04:18,634
[Door slams]
120
00:04:28,009 --> 00:04:29,944
[Gunshot]
121
00:04:30,011 --> 00:04:32,414
[Gunfire]
122
00:04:32,482 --> 00:04:34,546
Oh, damn it!
123
00:04:34,614 --> 00:04:36,013
Do you have to play this so loud?
124
00:04:36,080 --> 00:04:37,245
Oh, sorry. I was practicing.
125
00:04:37,313 --> 00:04:38,645
We can turn it down, yeah?
126
00:04:38,712 --> 00:04:40,979
Why don't we just, uh,
turn it off altogether?
127
00:04:41,047 --> 00:04:42,413
How long was I out for?
128
00:04:42,481 --> 00:04:43,847
A few hours.
129
00:04:43,915 --> 00:04:45,682
Oh, man, I'm having some dreams.
130
00:04:45,749 --> 00:04:48,951
It was real vivid sort of... I
can remember the shooting alm...
131
00:04:49,018 --> 00:04:51,152
Look, j... can you just turn it off?!
132
00:04:51,220 --> 00:04:53,153
I'm trying, Jim. I'm trying.
133
00:04:53,221 --> 00:04:56,887
For the love of God,
man! It's the A/V button!
134
00:04:56,954 --> 00:04:58,122
[Gunfire stops, game console beeps]
135
00:04:58,189 --> 00:05:00,426
[Knock on door]
136
00:05:00,493 --> 00:05:02,159
No, don't answer it. It's
just another reporter.
137
00:05:02,227 --> 00:05:03,894
Can I help you?
138
00:05:03,962 --> 00:05:05,531
- Is Jim here?
- Yes.
139
00:05:07,034 --> 00:05:10,600
Hi... everyone.
140
00:05:10,668 --> 00:05:12,433
Katie, what are you doing here?
141
00:05:12,501 --> 00:05:15,270
I just... I wanted to stop by
and make sure you were okay.
142
00:05:20,678 --> 00:05:23,313
Uh, Walter, um, I think we should be going.
143
00:05:23,381 --> 00:05:24,579
- Good idea.
- Yeah, let's give the boy some space.
144
00:05:24,646 --> 00:05:26,146
See you guys.
145
00:05:26,213 --> 00:05:28,446
Steve: Hey, why don't you two come outside
146
00:05:28,514 --> 00:05:30,516
and, uh, help me get rid
of some of this trash?
147
00:05:30,584 --> 00:05:34,284
Okay, I'll help, but why
are we bringing Billy?
148
00:05:35,520 --> 00:05:37,888
You have to go. Y-you can't be here.
149
00:05:37,955 --> 00:05:40,653
I don't need your husband
kicking my head in.
150
00:05:40,721 --> 00:05:41,953
Guess I'll go then.
151
00:05:42,020 --> 00:05:44,051
It's nothing personal, Kate, you see.
152
00:05:44,119 --> 00:05:47,222
I just don't need a train wreck in my life.
153
00:05:47,290 --> 00:05:50,890
[Chuckles] Wait, what
did you think this was?
154
00:05:50,958 --> 00:05:53,659
Oh, I don't know. You
rushed over to see me.
155
00:05:53,726 --> 00:05:56,725
You obviously still have feelings
for me that you can't control.
156
00:05:56,793 --> 00:05:59,162
Jim, this was me coming
by to check on a friend.
157
00:05:59,230 --> 00:06:01,697
Friend? We're not friends.
158
00:06:01,765 --> 00:06:04,368
We had sex. That's not
a friend-like activity.
159
00:06:04,436 --> 00:06:07,409
Friends go out to bars, movies,
ball games. That's what friends do.
160
00:06:07,476 --> 00:06:09,914
I... I can't... I don't think...
161
00:06:09,981 --> 00:06:11,682
I've never fingered a friend.
162
00:06:11,750 --> 00:06:13,819
Oh, my God. You are such a dick.
163
00:06:13,887 --> 00:06:17,058
You know, I'm sorry I was worried.
164
00:06:17,126 --> 00:06:18,260
[Door closes]
165
00:06:21,126 --> 00:06:23,427
Steve: Wow, those meds are great, huh?
166
00:06:23,495 --> 00:06:25,363
Yeah, except I can't get hard anymore,
167
00:06:25,431 --> 00:06:28,234
which I don't really mind
since I can't jerk off anyway.
168
00:06:28,302 --> 00:06:29,502
Morning, guys.
169
00:06:29,570 --> 00:06:31,271
You want us to turn this off?
170
00:06:31,339 --> 00:06:32,940
No, it's all right. Keep practicing.
171
00:06:33,007 --> 00:06:34,708
You ready for your big day tomorrow?
172
00:06:34,776 --> 00:06:36,577
Oh, yeah. I don't care who I play...
173
00:06:36,645 --> 00:06:39,448
Asian kid, fat, nerdy kid, whatever.
174
00:06:39,515 --> 00:06:41,017
How you feeling?
175
00:06:41,085 --> 00:06:43,385
I feel like dog shit and cat shit
176
00:06:43,452 --> 00:06:46,155
mixed in with, like, human shit.
177
00:06:46,222 --> 00:06:47,656
Hurts, huh?
178
00:06:47,724 --> 00:06:49,157
Yeah, it hurts being shot.
179
00:06:49,225 --> 00:06:51,393
It's all right.
180
00:06:51,460 --> 00:06:53,828
I took a couple oxycontins.
They should kick in soon.
181
00:06:53,896 --> 00:06:55,195
Be careful with those, man.
182
00:06:55,263 --> 00:06:56,793
Who ate all my lasagna?!
183
00:06:56,861 --> 00:06:58,727
- [Chuckles] What?
- What?
184
00:06:58,793 --> 00:07:01,062
And the cookie tree?
185
00:07:01,129 --> 00:07:02,264
[Laughs]
186
00:07:02,332 --> 00:07:03,466
Wait, wait, wait. Are you serious?
187
00:07:05,166 --> 00:07:06,830
You bastards!
188
00:07:06,898 --> 00:07:10,002
Billy, I get shot, people are
nice enough to buy me food,
189
00:07:10,069 --> 00:07:12,104
and you eat all my shit!
190
00:07:12,172 --> 00:07:13,638
You ate it.
191
00:07:13,706 --> 00:07:14,738
I never had any food.
192
00:07:14,805 --> 00:07:16,572
Yes, you did.
193
00:07:16,639 --> 00:07:18,007
You came out of your room,
went straight in the kitchen,
194
00:07:18,074 --> 00:07:20,475
opened the fridge, took out the lasagna,
195
00:07:20,543 --> 00:07:22,176
and started scarfing it
down with your one good hand.
196
00:07:22,243 --> 00:07:23,779
Yeah, show him.
197
00:07:23,847 --> 00:07:26,050
- Yeah.
- I don't need to see.
198
00:07:26,118 --> 00:07:27,585
- [Chuckling] Oh, yes, you do. This is great.
- No, it's pretty funny.
199
00:07:27,653 --> 00:07:29,020
What are you doing, Jim?
200
00:07:29,088 --> 00:07:30,688
[Laughs]
201
00:07:30,757 --> 00:07:31,623
[Laughs]
202
00:07:31,691 --> 00:07:33,361
I don't know.
203
00:07:33,428 --> 00:07:34,963
Why wouldn't you wake me up?
204
00:07:35,031 --> 00:07:36,697
- And why'd you film this?
- We tried!
205
00:07:36,763 --> 00:07:38,296
Oh, man, it was best just
to get out of your way.
206
00:07:38,364 --> 00:07:39,531
Ow!
207
00:07:39,598 --> 00:07:41,598
[Billy, Steve laugh]
208
00:07:41,666 --> 00:07:44,566
It's... maybe it's the Ambien.
How many of those you taking?
209
00:07:44,634 --> 00:07:47,166
I took like two before
I went to bed. That's it.
210
00:07:47,234 --> 00:07:49,967
No, you also took one between
the lasagna and the cookie tree.
211
00:07:50,034 --> 00:07:51,366
You called it your palate cleanser.
212
00:07:51,434 --> 00:07:53,931
Look! [Laughs]
213
00:07:53,999 --> 00:07:55,734
[Laughter]
214
00:07:55,802 --> 00:07:57,937
Man, you got to watch how
many of those you take.
215
00:07:58,005 --> 00:07:59,672
- Yeah, that's what kills people.
- What am I going to do?
216
00:07:59,737 --> 00:08:01,868
I'm in a lot of pain. I can't sleep.
217
00:08:01,936 --> 00:08:02,768
Well, you just got to keep track of it.
218
00:08:02,836 --> 00:08:04,537
All right.
219
00:08:04,604 --> 00:08:08,675
I am going to write down
every time you take something.
220
00:08:08,741 --> 00:08:11,110
This is good. This is gonna work.
221
00:08:11,178 --> 00:08:13,780
We should call this my "Heath Ledger."
222
00:08:13,847 --> 00:08:16,014
- [Laughter]
- Yeah, it's funny,
223
00:08:16,082 --> 00:08:18,114
'cause he was taking drugs and he died
224
00:08:18,182 --> 00:08:20,149
and his name's Ledger, like a list.
225
00:08:20,217 --> 00:08:21,482
You should use that in
one of your drug routines.
226
00:08:21,550 --> 00:08:25,320
I'm not... getting on stage any time soon.
227
00:08:25,388 --> 00:08:27,019
What are you talking
about? You love performing.
228
00:08:27,087 --> 00:08:29,554
I love not having people hate
me so much they want to shoot me.
229
00:08:29,621 --> 00:08:31,022
That's what I love.
230
00:08:31,090 --> 00:08:33,059
Well, Jim, what else are you gonna do?
231
00:08:33,127 --> 00:08:35,628
[Sighs, groans]
232
00:08:37,029 --> 00:08:39,895
I'm assessing my situation.
233
00:08:39,962 --> 00:08:41,830
[Chuckles]
234
00:08:41,898 --> 00:08:43,399
Heath Ledger.
235
00:08:43,467 --> 00:08:44,502
What options?
236
00:08:44,569 --> 00:08:45,837
I don't know.
237
00:08:45,905 --> 00:08:47,672
[Chuckling] Maybe eating contests.
238
00:08:58,012 --> 00:09:00,379
[Indistinct singing]
239
00:09:30,733 --> 00:09:33,800
Jim, what are you doing?
240
00:09:36,503 --> 00:09:38,638
Jim!
241
00:09:38,705 --> 00:09:40,675
Jim!
242
00:09:40,744 --> 00:09:42,177
What are you doing?! Steve!
243
00:09:42,245 --> 00:09:44,144
[Coughs] Steve!
244
00:09:44,211 --> 00:09:45,678
[Spits]
245
00:09:45,747 --> 00:09:47,215
Steve!!
246
00:09:47,282 --> 00:09:48,885
Jim! Jim, what are you doing?!
247
00:09:48,953 --> 00:09:50,254
You're pissing on him!
248
00:09:51,557 --> 00:09:54,055
Oh, geez. Jim! Jim!
249
00:09:54,123 --> 00:09:56,021
Jim, wake up!
250
00:09:56,089 --> 00:09:57,957
Hey!
251
00:09:58,024 --> 00:09:59,659
[Echoing] Jim!
252
00:10:01,096 --> 00:10:02,229
Come on, let's go!
253
00:10:02,296 --> 00:10:03,529
Oh, my God! Oh, my... Jim!
254
00:10:03,597 --> 00:10:05,063
Jim! Jim, wake up!
255
00:10:05,131 --> 00:10:06,064
Wake up, man!
256
00:10:06,132 --> 00:10:07,631
You got to wake up, man!
257
00:10:10,276 --> 00:10:11,809
You shot me!
258
00:10:11,876 --> 00:10:13,344
I didn't shoo... How could I...
259
00:10:13,412 --> 00:10:15,947
All right, Steve? Tell him.
260
00:10:17,115 --> 00:10:19,582
I was trying to protect
you, man. I'm sorry.
261
00:10:19,650 --> 00:10:22,354
You knew, as well, didn't
you, you little bastard?
262
00:10:22,422 --> 00:10:24,756
Well, Steve begged me not to tell!
263
00:10:24,824 --> 00:10:26,658
And... I need a shower!
264
00:10:26,726 --> 00:10:29,496
No. You sit there in my piss
and think about what you've done.
265
00:10:29,563 --> 00:10:31,999
Look, if I didn't pull my gun,
266
00:10:32,066 --> 00:10:33,934
that guy was gonna shoot you for sure.
267
00:10:34,001 --> 00:10:35,769
And he's probably a better shot than me.
268
00:10:35,837 --> 00:10:37,372
So I... I... maybe I saved your life.
269
00:10:37,439 --> 00:10:39,107
Oh, I'm so sorry.
270
00:10:39,174 --> 00:10:41,276
Thank you so much for shooting me, Steve!
271
00:10:41,344 --> 00:10:43,846
Oh, Steve shot me,
everyone! How nice of him!
272
00:10:43,914 --> 00:10:45,216
Come on. Keep your voice down.
273
00:10:45,283 --> 00:10:46,585
The reporters are gonna hear you.
274
00:10:46,652 --> 00:10:48,122
Maybe I want them to hear!
275
00:10:48,189 --> 00:10:49,891
Maybe everyone should
hear what an idiot you are!
276
00:10:49,958 --> 00:10:51,994
Calm down. No one's gonna find out.
277
00:10:52,062 --> 00:10:53,730
And I really need a shower!
278
00:10:53,798 --> 00:10:55,566
Of course they're gonna find out.
279
00:10:55,634 --> 00:10:57,832
Right? There... there's
surveillance footage.
280
00:10:57,898 --> 00:10:59,264
There's no surveillance footage.
281
00:10:59,332 --> 00:11:00,599
Otherwise, it would be on the news by now.
282
00:11:00,667 --> 00:11:02,635
The cops are out there looking for him.
283
00:11:02,702 --> 00:11:04,236
No, they're not.
284
00:11:04,304 --> 00:11:06,236
We gave false reports to the sketch artist.
285
00:11:06,304 --> 00:11:08,203
They... I told 'em it was a black guy.
286
00:11:08,271 --> 00:11:09,872
And I said he had a little Asian in him.
287
00:11:09,940 --> 00:11:11,508
So they're looking for a Blasian guy.
288
00:11:11,575 --> 00:11:13,143
So... so Tiger Woods shot me?
289
00:11:13,211 --> 00:11:14,911
Ohh.
290
00:11:14,978 --> 00:11:17,211
This is Afghanistan, isn't it?
291
00:11:17,279 --> 00:11:19,313
I told you not to get a gun,
292
00:11:19,381 --> 00:11:21,884
but Steve went to Afghanistan
and fired a few guns
293
00:11:21,951 --> 00:11:25,153
and felt like a big soldier boy, didn't he?
294
00:11:25,221 --> 00:11:27,391
Okay. I'm sorry. All right?
295
00:11:27,459 --> 00:11:29,692
And, yes, Afghanistan was the
only time that I felt okay.
296
00:11:29,759 --> 00:11:31,760
If the cops ask me, I'm telling 'em.
297
00:11:31,828 --> 00:11:34,131
- Jim...
- You're a mess.
298
00:11:34,199 --> 00:11:37,032
Every problem that I've
had... No wait, wait.
299
00:11:37,100 --> 00:11:40,131
Every problem that we
have had is because of you.
300
00:11:40,199 --> 00:11:42,067
That's why your wife left you.
301
00:11:42,135 --> 00:11:44,172
That's why you have no job.
302
00:11:44,240 --> 00:11:45,973
- That's why you've got no friends!
- Steve!
303
00:11:48,109 --> 00:11:50,112
That was over the line, Jim.
304
00:11:53,986 --> 00:11:58,053
Can you hose me off at least?!
305
00:11:58,121 --> 00:12:00,959
[Indistinct conversations]
306
00:12:05,700 --> 00:12:07,935
"Red Moon Over Odessa," Jim?
307
00:12:08,003 --> 00:12:09,737
What, are you torturing yourself now?
308
00:12:09,804 --> 00:12:11,005
What difference does it make?
309
00:12:11,073 --> 00:12:12,240
I'm not pursuing comedy anymore,
310
00:12:12,307 --> 00:12:13,909
therefore I'm not pursuing acting,
311
00:12:13,976 --> 00:12:16,577
therefore I don't have to be sad
about a movie I got fired from.
312
00:12:16,645 --> 00:12:17,645
It's good.
313
00:12:17,712 --> 00:12:19,446
It's really good.
314
00:12:19,514 --> 00:12:21,648
Glad this guy got the part.
315
00:12:21,716 --> 00:12:24,214
[Chuckles] Way better actor than me.
316
00:12:24,282 --> 00:12:26,617
Is Steve back?
317
00:12:26,685 --> 00:12:27,820
No.
318
00:12:30,754 --> 00:12:32,388
Your thing's today.
319
00:12:32,456 --> 00:12:33,992
Yeah.
320
00:12:34,059 --> 00:12:35,660
- I'll drive ya.
- No, man. Come on.
321
00:12:35,728 --> 00:12:38,996
You've only got one arm. Plus,
you... you seem kind of high.
322
00:12:39,064 --> 00:12:40,932
[Scoffs]
323
00:12:44,299 --> 00:12:46,232
I'm sorry I pissed on your face.
324
00:12:46,299 --> 00:12:49,603
You know what? Let's not
talk about it anymore.
325
00:12:49,671 --> 00:12:52,005
Just be happy I didn't have to shit, eh?
326
00:12:52,073 --> 00:12:53,139
No more!
327
00:12:53,207 --> 00:12:54,306
[Laughs]
328
00:12:54,374 --> 00:12:56,708
[Camera shutter clicks]
329
00:12:58,980 --> 00:13:00,947
Welcome to "Intent to Kill"... Billy.
330
00:13:01,015 --> 00:13:02,849
Thanks.
331
00:13:02,916 --> 00:13:05,552
[Camera shutter clicks]
332
00:13:07,322 --> 00:13:09,522
Hey, you're that comedian
from TV who got shot.
333
00:13:09,590 --> 00:13:10,656
Yeah.
334
00:13:10,724 --> 00:13:12,325
Can we get a picture?
335
00:13:12,393 --> 00:13:13,963
Uh, yeah. Of course.
336
00:13:14,030 --> 00:13:15,664
[Camera shutter clicks]
337
00:13:17,866 --> 00:13:19,768
Can you imagine how
many gallons of nerd jizz
338
00:13:19,836 --> 00:13:21,937
is gonna be spilled over
those girls this evening?
339
00:13:22,004 --> 00:13:24,238
Well, not actually spilt.
The guy's aren't going to...
340
00:13:24,306 --> 00:13:24,972
Jim! I've got an erection.
341
00:13:25,040 --> 00:13:26,341
Me and you both.
342
00:13:26,408 --> 00:13:28,243
No, it's the meds. They're not working.
343
00:13:28,310 --> 00:13:29,610
I can barely move my hands.
344
00:13:29,678 --> 00:13:31,446
What are you talking about?
345
00:13:31,513 --> 00:13:33,750
I haven't had an erection
since I started taking them.
346
00:13:33,818 --> 00:13:36,119
Referee: Contestants,
please take your stations.
347
00:13:36,187 --> 00:13:37,922
It's okay. This is gonna be fine.
348
00:13:37,989 --> 00:13:39,824
On the bell, play for five minutes.
349
00:13:39,892 --> 00:13:41,692
Most kills wins.
350
00:13:41,759 --> 00:13:42,925
- [Beeping]
- I've got this.
351
00:13:42,992 --> 00:13:45,128
And... go!
352
00:13:53,073 --> 00:13:55,410
Oh, my God.
353
00:14:01,250 --> 00:14:04,488
[Breathes deeply]
354
00:14:08,131 --> 00:14:10,035
I'm sorry, mate.
355
00:14:10,103 --> 00:14:13,270
I think being able to play took
my mind off how screwed I am.
356
00:14:13,338 --> 00:14:14,805
Well, if it means anything,
357
00:14:14,873 --> 00:14:16,709
we're all kind of screwed at the moment.
358
00:14:18,778 --> 00:14:20,679
You're not really gonna
quit stand-up, are you?
359
00:14:20,747 --> 00:14:23,015
Maybe... Yes.
360
00:14:23,083 --> 00:14:24,952
Yes, I am. What am I...
361
00:14:25,020 --> 00:14:26,487
I used to be fearless up there.
362
00:14:26,555 --> 00:14:28,523
Now I feel like I can't
do anything anymore.
363
00:14:28,591 --> 00:14:31,122
Why, because Steve shot you?
364
00:14:31,190 --> 00:14:33,658
Yes. I'm afraid of being shot.
365
00:14:33,726 --> 00:14:37,430
'Cause, yeah, I wasn't
shot by some psycho heckler.
366
00:14:37,498 --> 00:14:39,129
I was shot by Steve.
367
00:14:39,197 --> 00:14:41,031
You know, so even if
I do get back up there,
368
00:14:41,099 --> 00:14:42,800
I'd be living a lie. It wouldn't be real.
369
00:14:42,868 --> 00:14:45,905
Okay, so, you're gonna give up
something that you can still do
370
00:14:45,973 --> 00:14:48,673
when I have to give up
something that I love.
371
00:14:48,741 --> 00:14:50,142
Maybe the meds will work again.
372
00:14:50,209 --> 00:14:51,977
Yeah, the meds might
start working again, Jim.
373
00:14:52,045 --> 00:14:54,046
And then they might stop again, too.
374
00:14:54,114 --> 00:14:56,349
You're really good at something,
and you're gonna give that up
375
00:14:56,417 --> 00:14:58,187
because of a... what,
because a few panic attacks
376
00:14:58,255 --> 00:15:00,491
and a flesh wound?
377
00:15:00,559 --> 00:15:02,626
Do you have any idea how
insulting that is to me?!
378
00:15:04,030 --> 00:15:05,699
[Knock on door]
379
00:15:15,510 --> 00:15:16,476
Hi.
380
00:15:16,544 --> 00:15:17,543
Hi.
381
00:15:20,081 --> 00:15:21,582
So...
382
00:15:23,384 --> 00:15:25,250
Yeah...
383
00:15:25,318 --> 00:15:26,486
Jim...
384
00:15:26,554 --> 00:15:28,324
Katie...
385
00:15:28,391 --> 00:15:30,859
Okay, um, I'm going to give
you guys a minute alone.
386
00:15:34,027 --> 00:15:35,294
Come... come in.
387
00:15:37,897 --> 00:15:43,530
I just, uh, had to come over,
you know, after last night.
388
00:15:43,598 --> 00:15:45,032
Last night...
389
00:15:48,870 --> 00:15:50,802
What happened last night?
390
00:15:50,870 --> 00:15:52,570
Y-you're kidding.
391
00:15:52,638 --> 00:15:55,008
No, no. Last night, yes.
I remember, of course.
392
00:15:55,076 --> 00:15:57,211
Uh, sit down.
393
00:15:57,278 --> 00:15:58,845
Um...
394
00:15:58,912 --> 00:16:00,644
[Sighs] You said some
pretty amazing things,
395
00:16:00,712 --> 00:16:02,613
and it's... it's got me
spinning a little bit.
396
00:16:02,681 --> 00:16:04,149
[Laughs] I mean, a lot, actually.
397
00:16:04,216 --> 00:16:06,051
I called you five times last night.
398
00:16:06,119 --> 00:16:07,520
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
399
00:16:07,587 --> 00:16:09,420
We talked for like two hours.
400
00:16:09,488 --> 00:16:12,491
I mean, you stopped now and
then to... to eat, but...
401
00:16:12,559 --> 00:16:14,627
And I called my mother.
402
00:16:14,695 --> 00:16:17,364
Yeah. You said you wanted
to tell her the good news.
403
00:16:20,971 --> 00:16:23,842
What... what exactly did I say last night?
404
00:16:23,910 --> 00:16:25,744
You're kidding, right?
405
00:16:25,812 --> 00:16:27,345
No, no. I know what I said last night.
406
00:16:27,413 --> 00:16:28,648
I want to know if you heard me,
407
00:16:28,715 --> 00:16:30,051
'cause it's very important to me.
408
00:16:30,119 --> 00:16:34,087
So, in your own words, tell me what I said.
409
00:16:34,155 --> 00:16:36,357
Well, let's see.
410
00:16:36,424 --> 00:16:39,160
You said that we should be together.
411
00:16:39,228 --> 00:16:41,428
Together? Yeah.
412
00:16:41,496 --> 00:16:43,396
And that you wish I
would have kept our baby
413
00:16:43,464 --> 00:16:45,264
instead of having the abortion.
414
00:16:45,331 --> 00:16:48,599
That you know I'm not happy with
Trevor and I should leave him.
415
00:16:48,667 --> 00:16:52,169
And you want to take care of
my kids and move away with me.
416
00:16:52,237 --> 00:16:54,305
You said you wanted to open a candle shop.
417
00:16:54,373 --> 00:16:55,272
- [Chuckles]
- [Groans]
418
00:16:55,340 --> 00:16:56,572
Should I go on?
419
00:16:56,640 --> 00:16:58,038
No. Stop talking.
420
00:16:58,106 --> 00:16:59,574
- [Laughs]
- Ahh.
421
00:16:59,642 --> 00:17:02,048
Katie, I'm on a lot of
drugs. I'm on drugs right now.
422
00:17:02,115 --> 00:17:03,316
Mountain of drugs out of my skull.
423
00:17:03,384 --> 00:17:04,752
Um...
424
00:17:04,820 --> 00:17:06,754
I have a Heath Ledger here, um, which...
425
00:17:06,822 --> 00:17:09,422
which probably explains it a
lot better than I can ever say.
426
00:17:09,489 --> 00:17:12,890
There's pages and pages
of misery just there.
427
00:17:14,725 --> 00:17:16,092
Oh, my God.
428
00:17:16,160 --> 00:17:18,328
You don't remember.
429
00:17:18,395 --> 00:17:21,531
No heterosexual man wants
to open a candle shop, Katie.
430
00:17:22,801 --> 00:17:24,770
Yeah, what?
431
00:17:24,837 --> 00:17:27,106
Oh, my God. Um...
432
00:17:27,173 --> 00:17:28,107
Wow!
433
00:17:28,175 --> 00:17:29,741
Uh...
434
00:17:29,809 --> 00:17:31,075
Oh, my God.
435
00:17:31,142 --> 00:17:33,077
I feel like a fool.
436
00:17:33,145 --> 00:17:34,413
Well, it's...
437
00:17:34,481 --> 00:17:36,382
I mean, no. But you know what?
438
00:17:36,450 --> 00:17:39,150
I-it's okay, because, um, I was about to
439
00:17:39,218 --> 00:17:42,889
make some really huge decisions
based on that conversation,
440
00:17:42,957 --> 00:17:44,724
and it wasn't a real
conversation, so, I mean...
441
00:17:44,791 --> 00:17:46,223
- No, wait. Wait. Don't feel... don't...
- No, it's okay.
442
00:17:46,290 --> 00:17:47,656
It's not that it wasn't real. I just...
443
00:17:47,724 --> 00:17:48,959
These drugs are messing with my head.
444
00:17:49,026 --> 00:17:50,528
I'm sure on a certain level,
445
00:17:50,596 --> 00:17:52,965
my subconscious means
everything that I said.
446
00:17:53,033 --> 00:17:58,434
I... I mean... what you've
just said to me about...
447
00:17:58,502 --> 00:18:02,007
I don't want to raise your kids.
448
00:18:02,074 --> 00:18:04,440
[Sighs]
449
00:18:04,508 --> 00:18:06,941
You know, on the phone last night,
450
00:18:07,008 --> 00:18:09,777
you said you wanted to have a real life...
451
00:18:09,845 --> 00:18:13,615
to be legit...
452
00:18:13,683 --> 00:18:18,221
Have something meaningful
and lasting and real.
453
00:18:18,289 --> 00:18:20,590
I mean, you got to ask yourself,
454
00:18:20,658 --> 00:18:23,092
"What kind of life do I really want?"
455
00:18:24,493 --> 00:18:25,559
You know?
456
00:18:27,561 --> 00:18:28,963
Yeah.
457
00:18:29,031 --> 00:18:31,034
Make your decision.
458
00:18:34,069 --> 00:18:36,735
I'll be waiting.
459
00:18:43,844 --> 00:18:47,648
Cross your tears and dot your eyes
460
00:18:47,716 --> 00:18:51,850
Cross your heart, not to die
461
00:18:51,918 --> 00:18:56,023
Stick a thousand
needles in your eyes
462
00:18:56,158 --> 00:18:58,056
_
463
00:18:58,091 --> 00:18:59,292
[Indistinct conversations]
464
00:18:59,360 --> 00:19:02,532
[Indistinct singing]
465
00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:05,232
That's a lot of people.
466
00:19:05,300 --> 00:19:07,334
You're gonna do great, baby.
467
00:19:07,402 --> 00:19:09,103
[Giggles]
468
00:19:09,171 --> 00:19:11,605
Yeah, look. I'll just see
you after the show, okay?
469
00:19:14,211 --> 00:19:17,216
Jim: Like, every year,
it's like, so wasted!
470
00:19:17,284 --> 00:19:19,249
Hey, Kate? Don't forget
Max has got soccer tomorrow.
471
00:19:19,317 --> 00:19:20,817
I know.
472
00:19:20,885 --> 00:19:23,020
And my dry cleaning
will be ready after 6:00.
473
00:19:23,088 --> 00:19:24,555
Uh-huh.
474
00:19:24,622 --> 00:19:26,656
Funny man Jim Jefferies,
475
00:19:26,723 --> 00:19:28,024
who was shot for his anti-gun jokes,
476
00:19:28,091 --> 00:19:29,892
is on a roll,
477
00:19:29,960 --> 00:19:31,728
selling out huge theaters
across the country.
478
00:19:31,796 --> 00:19:33,764
"Extra" will have...
479
00:19:36,368 --> 00:19:39,439
Fall in, ladies! You, bozo!
480
00:19:39,506 --> 00:19:41,807
You look like you got a spoon for a face!
481
00:19:41,875 --> 00:19:43,809
I think I'll call you "Spoon Face"!
482
00:19:43,877 --> 00:19:45,879
You're a little long
in the tooth, are you?!
483
00:19:45,948 --> 00:19:47,982
What makes you think you're good
enough?! You know what I think?!
484
00:19:48,050 --> 00:19:50,415
I think you need to be back
at home mowing the grass!
485
00:19:50,482 --> 00:19:52,647
Did you watch John Wayne
last weekend all patriotic,
486
00:19:52,715 --> 00:19:54,583
decided you wanted to be a soldier
487
00:19:54,650 --> 00:19:56,419
and wear this cool costume?!
488
00:19:56,486 --> 00:19:59,789
You can't share this
strange sensation
489
00:19:59,857 --> 00:20:02,693
Welcome home, Billy.
490
00:20:02,761 --> 00:20:04,895
Shut up, Rodney.
491
00:20:08,096 --> 00:20:12,265
Somewhere is the destination
492
00:20:12,333 --> 00:20:16,533
Somewhere far but still a location
493
00:20:16,601 --> 00:20:19,437
All you need is to stay in motion
494
00:20:19,505 --> 00:20:21,070
There's my man.
495
00:20:21,095 --> 00:20:22,695
Hey, Mike.
496
00:20:22,720 --> 00:20:25,320
You know after tonight, your
life is never gonna be the same.
497
00:20:26,885 --> 00:20:27,985
Yeah. Yeah,
498
00:20:28,010 --> 00:20:29,820
everything I've
always wished for.
499
00:20:30,621 --> 00:20:33,022
Hey, you're gonna be great.
500
00:20:33,090 --> 00:20:35,758
Announcer: Ladies and
gentlemen, Jim Jefferies!
501
00:20:35,826 --> 00:20:38,561
[Cheers and applause]
502
00:20:38,629 --> 00:20:40,496
[Indistinct singing]
503
00:20:53,734 --> 00:20:57,993
Just don't know
504
00:21:04,493 --> 00:21:11,993
Sync and corrections by explosiveskull
www.addic7ed.com
505
00:21:12,043 --> 00:21:16,593
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
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