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1
00:00:00,800 --> 00:00:03,718
Hot in Cleveland is recorded in
front of a live studio audience.
2
00:00:04,820 --> 00:00:08,321
One month from today,
I'm getting married in Paris.
3
00:00:08,323 --> 00:00:10,524
Why are you telling us things
we already know?
4
00:00:10,526 --> 00:00:12,609
Because I love saying it so much.
5
00:00:12,611 --> 00:00:14,995
And it distracts me from
my little procedure today.
6
00:00:14,997 --> 00:00:18,281
Joy's getting her sixth toe removed.
7
00:00:18,283 --> 00:00:19,783
It's not a toe.
8
00:00:19,785 --> 00:00:22,285
It's a small nub of cartilage
with a half-nail.
9
00:00:24,039 --> 00:00:27,624
I'm gonna miss Joy's stumpy little claw.
10
00:00:27,626 --> 00:00:30,010
It helped me lose weight for the Oscars.
11
00:00:30,012 --> 00:00:33,013
Oh, just thinking about it
killed my appetite.
12
00:00:33,015 --> 00:00:35,098
Well, say good-bye.
13
00:00:35,100 --> 00:00:36,600
I need my feet to look perfect
14
00:00:36,602 --> 00:00:38,468
for my dress fitting this Friday.
15
00:00:38,470 --> 00:00:39,803
Now, hand me that nail polish.
16
00:00:39,805 --> 00:00:41,471
Just because it's being chopped off
17
00:00:41,473 --> 00:00:42,806
doesn't mean it can't be pretty.
18
00:00:45,310 --> 00:00:46,810
Oh, I'm so happy for Joy and Bob.
19
00:00:46,812 --> 00:00:49,312
I just can't stand the idea
of her moving out.
20
00:00:49,314 --> 00:00:50,564
It's funny.
21
00:00:50,566 --> 00:00:54,985
I spent five years
wishing Joy would be gone.
22
00:00:54,987 --> 00:00:56,620
And now you're sad?
23
00:00:56,622 --> 00:01:00,490
No, I'm just telling what I've been doing.
24
00:01:00,492 --> 00:01:01,908
Well, I'm sad she's going.
25
00:01:01,910 --> 00:01:04,077
I am gonna miss her like crazy.
26
00:01:04,079 --> 00:01:06,663
Me too.
27
00:01:06,665 --> 00:01:09,249
This house is gonna seem
so empty without her.
28
00:01:09,251 --> 00:01:10,250
I know.
29
00:01:10,252 --> 00:01:11,968
Victoria, we can't do this.
30
00:01:11,970 --> 00:01:13,169
I mean, come on.
31
00:01:13,171 --> 00:01:14,921
I mean, when my daughter
went off to college,
32
00:01:14,923 --> 00:01:17,974
I was so sad, I made everybody
ten times more miserable.
33
00:01:17,976 --> 00:01:20,477
We have got to show Joy that
we're gonna be okay without her.
34
00:01:20,479 --> 00:01:21,561
Brave faces from everybody.
35
00:01:21,563 --> 00:01:22,679
Yeah, you're right.
36
00:01:22,681 --> 00:01:24,231
We just need to tamp down our feelings,
37
00:01:24,233 --> 00:01:26,016
and it'll be good for us too.
38
00:01:26,018 --> 00:01:28,235
No, I don't like dwelling on sad things.
39
00:01:28,237 --> 00:01:31,271
That's why I got divorced so many times.
40
00:01:31,273 --> 00:01:32,405
Hey, you.
41
00:01:32,407 --> 00:01:33,940
You ready to go to the doctor's office?
42
00:01:33,942 --> 00:01:35,859
No, I want to wait until
my mother gets here.
43
00:01:35,861 --> 00:01:39,329
And fair warning; she's
gonna be even meaner than usual.
44
00:01:39,331 --> 00:01:41,248
Her boyfriend Daniel
just broke up with her.
45
00:01:41,250 --> 00:01:43,700
So you sent Bob to the airport
to deal with her?
46
00:01:43,702 --> 00:01:45,869
Well, it was either him or me,
and I didn't want to do it.
47
00:01:48,423 --> 00:01:50,457
Hello, everyone.
48
00:01:50,459 --> 00:01:51,841
- Hi, Mom.
- Hello.
49
00:01:51,843 --> 00:01:54,878
Joy, I was telling Philipa
I'm not just gaining a wife,
50
00:01:54,880 --> 00:01:56,930
but a beautiful mother-in-law as well.
51
00:01:56,932 --> 00:01:58,465
Oh, you.
52
00:01:58,467 --> 00:01:59,799
Well, Rejoyla,
53
00:01:59,801 --> 00:02:03,470
your future husband
is not what I was expecting.
54
00:02:03,472 --> 00:02:06,306
He's not drunk or in prison.
55
00:02:06,308 --> 00:02:08,642
Philipa, why don't I take
your bags to your room
56
00:02:08,644 --> 00:02:09,643
so you can freshen up?
57
00:02:09,645 --> 00:02:11,528
Oh, what a gentleman.
58
00:02:11,530 --> 00:02:13,613
Oh, Joy doesn't deserve you.
59
00:02:15,450 --> 00:02:17,067
Wouldn't it have been easier for your mom
60
00:02:17,069 --> 00:02:18,401
to just join us in Paris for the wedding?
61
00:02:18,403 --> 00:02:20,904
Yes, but my mother's never been easy.
62
00:02:20,906 --> 00:02:23,123
So you must get it from your dad.
63
00:02:30,749 --> 00:02:32,248
I am sorry, Joy.
64
00:02:32,250 --> 00:02:35,251
There is nothing worse than a
parent showing up unannounced.
65
00:02:35,253 --> 00:02:36,670
Hello, ladies.
66
00:02:36,672 --> 00:02:38,254
Daddy.
67
00:02:38,256 --> 00:02:39,889
What are you doing here?
68
00:02:39,891 --> 00:02:42,642
Don't you mean, who is he doing here?
69
00:02:47,683 --> 00:02:48,765
Wait... wait a minute.
70
00:02:48,767 --> 00:02:51,151
You mean to say that you
and Elka have been...
71
00:02:51,153 --> 00:02:54,020
and you didn't think to mention this?
72
00:02:54,022 --> 00:02:57,440
We were doing some unmentionable things.
73
00:02:57,442 --> 00:02:59,526
(Victoria) Oh, God.
74
00:02:59,528 --> 00:03:03,663
I've also been seducing Elka
with my culinary skills.
75
00:03:03,665 --> 00:03:05,665
Anyone else for Eggs a la Alex?
76
00:03:05,667 --> 00:03:07,000
No, thanks.
77
00:03:07,002 --> 00:03:08,585
Just the thought of you and Elka
78
00:03:08,587 --> 00:03:12,038
has replaced Joy's extra toe
as my appetite suppressant.
79
00:03:14,843 --> 00:03:18,128
Then, my darling,
we shall just feast alone.
80
00:03:18,130 --> 00:03:19,963
- Mwah.
- Oh, I can't wait.
81
00:03:22,517 --> 00:03:23,967
I've gotta dump your dad.
82
00:03:29,474 --> 00:03:31,975
[upbeat music]
83
00:03:31,977 --> 00:03:34,194
Ba-ba, ba-ba
84
00:03:34,196 --> 00:03:37,280
Ba-ba, ba-ba
85
00:03:37,282 --> 00:03:38,865
Hey!
86
00:03:38,867 --> 00:03:41,151
Doctor said she'd be up and on
her feet by the end of the day.
87
00:03:41,153 --> 00:03:44,954
Oh, so she won't need
all these painkillers, right?
88
00:03:44,956 --> 00:03:47,040
I may need some to deal with my father.
89
00:03:47,042 --> 00:03:50,043
Has Elka gotten around
to breaking up with him yet?
90
00:03:50,045 --> 00:03:51,411
Well, she was going to.
91
00:03:51,413 --> 00:03:53,463
But then she tasted
his sweet-and-sour meatballs.
92
00:03:55,834 --> 00:03:59,502
Oh, can you believe our sweet
little Joy is moving on?
93
00:03:59,504 --> 00:04:00,920
Oh, we have had some good times together.
94
00:04:00,922 --> 00:04:02,338
[sighs]
95
00:04:02,340 --> 00:04:05,508
It is gonna be so sad walking
past this empty room.
96
00:04:05,510 --> 00:04:07,010
No, Victoria.
97
00:04:07,012 --> 00:04:09,512
We swore that we would tamp down
our sadness for Joy's sake.
98
00:04:09,514 --> 00:04:11,181
No, you're right.
99
00:04:11,183 --> 00:04:15,318
We just have to act as if we're
happy that she's leaving us.
100
00:04:15,320 --> 00:04:16,736
Oh, hey, you.
101
00:04:16,738 --> 00:04:17,854
Are you awake?
102
00:04:17,856 --> 00:04:18,938
What are you talking about?
103
00:04:18,940 --> 00:04:20,190
Oh, nothing.
104
00:04:20,192 --> 00:04:21,941
We were just talking about
how excited we are
105
00:04:21,943 --> 00:04:23,243
that you're getting married.
106
00:04:23,245 --> 00:04:24,828
Yes, and how exciting it's gonna be
107
00:04:24,830 --> 00:04:26,863
to have an extra room in the house.
108
00:04:26,865 --> 00:04:28,415
Good point, Victoria. Ooh!
109
00:04:28,417 --> 00:04:29,699
What shall we do with this room?
110
00:04:29,701 --> 00:04:32,285
Well, we have talked about
starting an extra shoe room.
111
00:04:32,287 --> 00:04:33,286
That's a great idea.
112
00:04:33,288 --> 00:04:34,421
Yes.
113
00:04:34,423 --> 00:04:36,339
See, Joy, great news for everybody.
114
00:04:36,341 --> 00:04:40,176
Ah. There's our little patient.
115
00:04:40,178 --> 00:04:41,795
So how are you feeling?
116
00:04:41,797 --> 00:04:44,214
Good. Where have you two been?
117
00:04:44,216 --> 00:04:45,965
I took your mom to the import store
118
00:04:45,967 --> 00:04:47,684
so she could buy you some Marmite.
119
00:04:47,686 --> 00:04:48,852
Marmite?
120
00:04:48,854 --> 00:04:51,855
It's a healthful yeast by-product.
121
00:04:51,857 --> 00:04:53,106
Rejoyla loves it.
122
00:04:53,108 --> 00:04:54,641
No, I don't really like it.
123
00:04:54,643 --> 00:04:57,444
You don't know what you like.
124
00:04:57,446 --> 00:04:58,812
Why are you still in bed?
125
00:04:58,814 --> 00:05:00,897
Well, the procedure was just
a few hours ago.
126
00:05:00,899 --> 00:05:02,398
The doctor said she should rest.
127
00:05:02,400 --> 00:05:03,817
Oh, rubbish.
128
00:05:03,819 --> 00:05:05,568
When I got rid of my sixth toe,
129
00:05:05,570 --> 00:05:07,821
I simply wrapped a rubber band around it
130
00:05:07,823 --> 00:05:09,906
until it fell off like a lamb's tail.
131
00:05:13,078 --> 00:05:15,211
I may never eat.
132
00:05:15,213 --> 00:05:17,380
Why don't we give Joy and Bob
a few minutes alone?
133
00:05:19,918 --> 00:05:21,751
Thank you for taking care of my mother.
134
00:05:21,753 --> 00:05:22,969
I enjoy her.
135
00:05:22,971 --> 00:05:25,588
My Canadian politeness is the perfect foil
136
00:05:25,590 --> 00:05:27,173
for her British imperiousness.
137
00:05:27,175 --> 00:05:28,975
We British aren't imperious.
138
00:05:28,977 --> 00:05:32,428
And I'm too Canadian to disagree.
139
00:05:32,430 --> 00:05:35,265
Well, my advice to you is to
compliment her and feed her gin,
140
00:05:35,267 --> 00:05:36,816
and everything should go well.
141
00:05:36,818 --> 00:05:39,769
Oh, I'm so happy
I have you to deal with her.
142
00:05:39,771 --> 00:05:42,155
Well, then why do you look so sad?
143
00:05:42,157 --> 00:05:45,441
Melanie and Victoria don't seem
too upset that I'm moving out.
144
00:05:45,443 --> 00:05:48,578
In fact, they seem excited
to be taking over my room.
145
00:05:48,580 --> 00:05:49,863
Well, that's good, Joy.
146
00:05:49,865 --> 00:05:51,748
The last thing you want
is for people to be sad.
147
00:05:51,750 --> 00:05:53,616
I suppose you're right.
148
00:05:53,618 --> 00:05:56,119
In fact, move in with me right now.
149
00:05:56,121 --> 00:05:57,787
Rip the Band-Aid off fast.
150
00:05:57,789 --> 00:05:59,622
You know, when I moved out
of my parents' place,
151
00:05:59,624 --> 00:06:02,008
I did it swiftly so
there would be no hard feelings.
152
00:06:02,010 --> 00:06:04,460
You were 34.
153
00:06:04,462 --> 00:06:07,130
33 1/2. Don't make me seem like loser.
154
00:06:16,141 --> 00:06:18,942
Alex, we need to talk.
155
00:06:18,944 --> 00:06:20,026
One moment.
156
00:06:20,028 --> 00:06:21,528
I'm gonna check on my baby backs.
157
00:06:28,370 --> 00:06:31,821
Are those hickory-smoked?
158
00:06:31,823 --> 00:06:33,623
You know your ribs.
159
00:06:33,625 --> 00:06:37,410
Of course, it takes a great rack
to know one.
160
00:06:37,412 --> 00:06:38,795
Now, what did you want to tell me?
161
00:06:38,797 --> 00:06:40,413
Oh, it can wait.
162
00:06:43,301 --> 00:06:48,004
Is it such a burden for Joy to
wear the Scroggs family veil?
163
00:06:48,006 --> 00:06:52,642
Yes, it smells of camphor
and lacerates the skin.
164
00:06:52,644 --> 00:06:57,313
But marriage isn't meant
to smell nice or feel good.
165
00:06:57,315 --> 00:07:01,768
Important words to hear
on the verge of my wedding.
166
00:07:01,770 --> 00:07:02,902
Thank you.
167
00:07:02,904 --> 00:07:05,521
It's so nice to feel appreciated.
168
00:07:07,192 --> 00:07:10,660
I think perhaps
what I'm really upset about is
169
00:07:10,662 --> 00:07:13,112
that Joy hasn't apologized to me yet.
170
00:07:13,114 --> 00:07:14,364
For what?
171
00:07:14,366 --> 00:07:17,784
That she's getting married in France.
172
00:07:17,786 --> 00:07:19,786
And?
173
00:07:19,788 --> 00:07:23,506
She knows perfectly well
that Daniel, my ex,
174
00:07:23,508 --> 00:07:27,460
broke up with me in a French restaurant.
175
00:07:27,462 --> 00:07:31,798
Well, let me apologize
for both of us and for Daniel.
176
00:07:31,800 --> 00:07:34,183
I'm ashamed of my sex, knowing
there's a man out there
177
00:07:34,185 --> 00:07:36,185
who gave up such a gorgeous woman.
178
00:07:36,187 --> 00:07:38,805
Oh, Bob.
179
00:07:38,807 --> 00:07:41,891
Something so charming
about a man apologizing.
180
00:07:43,528 --> 00:07:44,861
They say when you're with a woman,
181
00:07:44,863 --> 00:07:46,396
you should look at her mother if you want
182
00:07:46,398 --> 00:07:47,897
to know what lies ahead.
183
00:07:47,899 --> 00:07:50,283
And when I look at you,
184
00:07:50,285 --> 00:07:53,369
I see my future in your eyes.
185
00:07:53,371 --> 00:07:54,737
And I like what I see.
186
00:07:56,408 --> 00:07:58,374
You are a flatterer.
187
00:07:58,376 --> 00:08:00,493
Oh, it's not flattery if it's true.
188
00:08:02,414 --> 00:08:05,915
Hey, why don't I get us another
round of these gin martinis?
189
00:08:07,335 --> 00:08:10,219
Oh, you've got an eyelash there.
Let me get that.
190
00:08:17,262 --> 00:08:19,646
So, Daddy, about you and Elka.
191
00:08:19,648 --> 00:08:22,682
Oh, she's a real tomato.
192
00:08:22,684 --> 00:08:24,150
And speaking of tomatoes,
193
00:08:24,152 --> 00:08:28,154
I was thinking of preparing my
special three-day chili for her.
194
00:08:28,156 --> 00:08:29,439
Three days?
195
00:08:29,441 --> 00:08:32,358
That's sounds like a pretty big commitment.
196
00:08:32,360 --> 00:08:35,328
How long does a sandwich take?
197
00:08:35,330 --> 00:08:38,614
Victoria, I was hoping
to speak with... oh, hello.
198
00:08:38,616 --> 00:08:39,782
Hello.
199
00:08:39,784 --> 00:08:40,867
Alex Chase:
200
00:08:40,869 --> 00:08:43,169
Victoria's father, Elka's lover.
201
00:08:43,171 --> 00:08:44,504
Philipa Scroggs:
202
00:08:44,506 --> 00:08:49,208
Joy's mother and recipient
of too much information.
203
00:08:49,210 --> 00:08:52,712
Nothing sweeter than the musical
lilt of an English accent.
204
00:08:52,714 --> 00:08:54,130
Would you like to join us for dinner?
205
00:08:54,132 --> 00:08:55,848
I've got some ribs warming in the oven.
206
00:08:55,850 --> 00:08:56,849
No, thank you.
207
00:08:56,851 --> 00:08:58,634
I prefer my meat the English way,
208
00:08:58,636 --> 00:09:00,520
with the color boiled out of it.
209
00:09:00,522 --> 00:09:01,771
Ah.
210
00:09:01,773 --> 00:09:03,189
Ladies, excuse me.
211
00:09:04,893 --> 00:09:06,142
Oh, I feel terrible.
212
00:09:06,144 --> 00:09:07,477
Oh, don't worry about Daddy.
213
00:09:07,479 --> 00:09:09,062
He takes everything as a compliment.
214
00:09:09,064 --> 00:09:10,780
It's a Chase family trait.
215
00:09:10,782 --> 00:09:12,565
No, not him.
216
00:09:12,567 --> 00:09:14,784
There's something weighing on my heart,
217
00:09:14,786 --> 00:09:16,619
and I need to tell someone.
218
00:09:16,621 --> 00:09:17,820
Oh, of course, Philipa.
219
00:09:17,822 --> 00:09:19,655
What is it?
220
00:09:19,657 --> 00:09:21,324
I think I'm in love Bob.
221
00:09:26,460 --> 00:09:29,511
You're in love with Bob,
your daughter's fianc??
222
00:09:30,560 --> 00:09:32,594
Oh, it's so wrong.
223
00:09:32,596 --> 00:09:34,062
I just can't help myself.
224
00:09:34,064 --> 00:09:35,513
All right.
225
00:09:35,515 --> 00:09:38,183
I won't tell anyone about this
and neither should you.
226
00:09:38,185 --> 00:09:40,902
You just have to tamp down your feelings.
227
00:09:40,904 --> 00:09:44,105
And you can hide them
by being extra nice to Joy.
228
00:09:44,107 --> 00:09:46,858
"Be extra nice to Joy." Uh-hmm.
229
00:09:46,860 --> 00:09:50,411
It's odd on the tongue.
230
00:09:50,413 --> 00:09:53,114
Yes, I do owe her that much.
231
00:09:53,116 --> 00:09:57,118
Oh, why is so hard to be a mother?
232
00:09:57,120 --> 00:10:00,004
I used to ask my children's
nannies the same thing.
233
00:10:03,844 --> 00:10:05,260
What's this? What's going on?
234
00:10:05,262 --> 00:10:06,878
Bob packed up my stuff.
235
00:10:06,880 --> 00:10:08,546
I decided to move in with him early.
236
00:10:08,548 --> 00:10:09,547
What?
237
00:10:09,549 --> 00:10:11,382
I mean, that's great news.
238
00:10:11,384 --> 00:10:13,184
We just thought that
you weren't gonna do that
239
00:10:13,186 --> 00:10:14,352
until after the wedding.
240
00:10:14,354 --> 00:10:17,472
I wasn't, but why drag it out, right?
241
00:10:17,474 --> 00:10:21,109
So I'll leave, and you can get
started on turning my room
242
00:10:21,111 --> 00:10:22,110
into your shoe room.
243
00:10:22,112 --> 00:10:23,394
That's true.
244
00:10:23,396 --> 00:10:24,779
We can get started right away
on the shoe room.
245
00:10:24,781 --> 00:10:26,314
Yes, let's get started on the shoe room.
246
00:10:26,316 --> 00:10:28,233
And what a lovely shoe room this will be.
247
00:10:28,235 --> 00:10:29,234
She's gone.
248
00:10:29,236 --> 00:10:32,320
You can stop saying "shoe room."
249
00:10:32,322 --> 00:10:33,705
Although, congratulations to us.
250
00:10:33,707 --> 00:10:35,823
That was some pretty good
tamping down of our feelings.
251
00:10:35,825 --> 00:10:37,242
Speaking of tamping down,
252
00:10:37,244 --> 00:10:38,543
I'm tamping down the urge
to tell you something
253
00:10:38,545 --> 00:10:40,411
I promised I wouldn't tell anyone.
254
00:10:40,413 --> 00:10:42,380
Victoria, we've been friends
for over 30 years.
255
00:10:42,382 --> 00:10:43,715
We both know how this ends.
256
00:10:43,717 --> 00:10:44,883
All right, I'll tell you.
257
00:10:44,885 --> 00:10:48,469
Philipa has fallen in love with Bob.
258
00:10:48,471 --> 00:10:49,470
What?
259
00:10:49,472 --> 00:10:50,555
Oh, my God.
260
00:10:50,557 --> 00:10:51,839
How long have you been tamping that down?
261
00:10:51,841 --> 00:10:54,509
15 whole minutes.
262
00:10:54,511 --> 00:10:56,978
Look, now, she's not gonna act on this.
263
00:10:56,980 --> 00:10:59,731
And the most important thing is
that Joy never finds out.
264
00:10:59,733 --> 00:11:02,517
We have to make this the
happiest time of her life.
265
00:11:02,519 --> 00:11:03,935
Even though she doesn't seem to care
266
00:11:03,937 --> 00:11:05,103
about our feelings very much.
267
00:11:05,105 --> 00:11:06,271
I know.
268
00:11:06,273 --> 00:11:08,189
It's like she cut off her sixth toe,
269
00:11:08,191 --> 00:11:12,160
and now she can't stop walking away.
270
00:11:12,162 --> 00:11:14,162
Maybe that toe was where her heart was.
271
00:11:19,786 --> 00:11:24,505
Oh, Rejoyla, a day's bed rest
has done you the world of good.
272
00:11:24,507 --> 00:11:27,875
You look two to three years younger.
273
00:11:27,877 --> 00:11:29,294
Thank you, Mother.
274
00:11:29,296 --> 00:11:31,679
Here, let me take that box for
you, darling, put it in the car.
275
00:11:31,681 --> 00:11:33,214
You rest.
276
00:11:33,216 --> 00:11:36,718
Oh, and by the way, if you don't
want to wear the family veil,
277
00:11:36,720 --> 00:11:38,269
that's quite all right.
278
00:11:42,692 --> 00:11:45,226
Bob, you're amazing.
279
00:11:45,228 --> 00:11:48,229
Well, I guess somebody heard
I did eight push-ups
280
00:11:48,231 --> 00:11:51,065
at the gym today.
281
00:11:51,067 --> 00:11:52,066
No.
282
00:11:52,068 --> 00:11:53,151
I'm talking about my mother.
283
00:11:53,153 --> 00:11:54,619
She's never been so sweet.
284
00:11:54,621 --> 00:11:56,070
Whatever you're doing, keep it up.
285
00:11:56,072 --> 00:11:58,489
In fact, double down and do more.
286
00:11:58,491 --> 00:11:59,574
Don't you worry, Joy.
287
00:11:59,576 --> 00:12:01,326
Tell your mother to tighten her suspenders.
288
00:12:01,328 --> 00:12:03,411
I'm about to charm her pants off.
289
00:12:05,498 --> 00:12:08,216
[crickets chirping]
290
00:12:08,218 --> 00:12:10,501
You complete me.
291
00:12:10,503 --> 00:12:11,586
Really?
292
00:12:11,588 --> 00:12:14,005
Sorry. I was talking to the ribs.
293
00:12:15,592 --> 00:12:17,558
Fair enough.
294
00:12:20,764 --> 00:12:24,232
Look, Alex, this isn't gonna work.
295
00:12:24,234 --> 00:12:26,484
I knew it.
296
00:12:26,486 --> 00:12:28,603
It was inevitable, I suppose.
297
00:12:28,605 --> 00:12:31,439
But it was a wild ride, you and me.
298
00:12:31,441 --> 00:12:35,076
Me hanging onto to bronc,
waiting for that bell to ring.
299
00:12:35,078 --> 00:12:38,613
And my lasso, she could only
keep you tied up so long.
300
00:12:42,535 --> 00:12:43,918
(Alex) Elka?
301
00:12:43,920 --> 00:12:46,254
Elka?
302
00:12:46,256 --> 00:12:47,839
Oh, sorry.
303
00:12:47,841 --> 00:12:49,040
Meat coma.
304
00:12:51,961 --> 00:12:54,962
Well, an actor knows when it's
time to make a solitary exit.
305
00:12:57,017 --> 00:12:59,684
I'll never find another woman
like you, Elka.
306
00:12:59,686 --> 00:13:02,270
That's true.
307
00:13:02,272 --> 00:13:04,856
On the other hand,
what do you think of Philipa?
308
00:13:08,194 --> 00:13:09,727
Oh, my God, Bob.
309
00:13:09,729 --> 00:13:11,195
I haven't moved out my stuff,
310
00:13:11,197 --> 00:13:13,364
and they've already turned it
into their shoe room.
311
00:13:13,366 --> 00:13:15,199
They're not sad I'm leaving at all.
312
00:13:15,201 --> 00:13:18,486
Maybe they're just jealous
that you're marrying me.
313
00:13:18,488 --> 00:13:20,154
[chuckling] Oh, Bob.
314
00:13:20,156 --> 00:13:21,572
That's what I love about you.
315
00:13:21,574 --> 00:13:23,491
You always make me laugh.
316
00:13:23,493 --> 00:13:25,993
Right.
317
00:13:25,995 --> 00:13:27,795
So how's it going with my mum?
318
00:13:27,797 --> 00:13:29,213
She's not here yet.
319
00:13:29,215 --> 00:13:30,998
Well, find out how long she's staying.
320
00:13:31,000 --> 00:13:32,333
If it's gonna be more than a week,
321
00:13:32,335 --> 00:13:34,502
see if you can entice her
into going to a hotel.
322
00:13:34,504 --> 00:13:35,753
I'll do my best.
323
00:13:35,755 --> 00:13:36,804
Oh, here she is.
324
00:13:36,806 --> 00:13:38,639
Wish me luck.
325
00:13:38,641 --> 00:13:40,925
Philipa, a vision as always.
326
00:13:40,927 --> 00:13:43,144
Thank you for joining me for lunch.
327
00:13:43,146 --> 00:13:45,096
I won't be staying long.
328
00:13:45,098 --> 00:13:46,597
Well, then I will cherish the moments
329
00:13:46,599 --> 00:13:47,899
that we do have together.
330
00:13:47,901 --> 00:13:49,267
In fact, I was wondering,
331
00:13:49,269 --> 00:13:52,603
how much more time will we have
you here in Cleveland?
332
00:13:52,605 --> 00:13:54,105
Till the wedding, of course.
333
00:13:54,107 --> 00:13:55,523
No.
334
00:13:55,525 --> 00:13:59,277
Only four more brief weeks?
335
00:13:59,279 --> 00:14:00,445
Well, then I'm gonna suggest
336
00:14:00,447 --> 00:14:03,581
something old and unconventional.
337
00:14:03,583 --> 00:14:08,002
How would you feel about
checking into a hotel?
338
00:14:08,004 --> 00:14:10,338
Really?
339
00:14:10,340 --> 00:14:12,874
A hotel?
340
00:14:12,876 --> 00:14:17,128
I think it might make everything easier.
341
00:14:17,130 --> 00:14:18,629
What do you think?
342
00:14:18,631 --> 00:14:21,933
Are you saying what I think you're saying?
343
00:14:21,935 --> 00:14:26,437
I'm saying I want to see you
in the best hotel room in town.
344
00:14:26,439 --> 00:14:30,641
Room service, champagne,
whatever your heart desires.
345
00:14:30,643 --> 00:14:32,110
What about Joy?
346
00:14:32,112 --> 00:14:34,479
Oh, she'll be a little sad at first.
347
00:14:34,481 --> 00:14:36,814
But I'm sure she'll come around
to accepting it.
348
00:14:36,816 --> 00:14:40,401
More than anything, she wants
you to be happy, as do I.
349
00:14:40,403 --> 00:14:41,569
Oh.
350
00:14:41,571 --> 00:14:43,905
This is all so overwhelming.
351
00:14:43,907 --> 00:14:46,991
I felt foolish having feelings for you.
352
00:14:46,993 --> 00:14:47,992
Feelings?
353
00:14:50,079 --> 00:14:52,463
Now I know that you share those feelings,
354
00:14:52,465 --> 00:14:54,298
I'm over the moon.
355
00:14:54,300 --> 00:14:56,083
But...
356
00:14:56,085 --> 00:14:58,252
It will be difficult dealing with Rejoyla.
357
00:14:58,254 --> 00:15:01,973
But let's not worry about that now.
358
00:15:01,975 --> 00:15:06,010
Oh, Bob, you make me feel so alive.
359
00:15:07,263 --> 00:15:09,347
I'm going to pick up something disgraceful
360
00:15:09,349 --> 00:15:10,932
at Victoria's Secret.
361
00:15:25,390 --> 00:15:26,790
Joy, do you need any help in there?
362
00:15:26,790 --> 00:15:28,540
No, no. I can do it myself.
363
00:15:28,542 --> 00:15:30,542
By herself.
364
00:15:30,544 --> 00:15:32,744
Well, I guess she doesn't need
us at all anymore.
365
00:15:32,746 --> 00:15:34,579
No, no. Tamp, tamp.
366
00:15:34,581 --> 00:15:37,131
We can feel those feelings
but we can't say them.
367
00:15:37,133 --> 00:15:40,251
(Joy) I'm ready.
368
00:15:40,253 --> 00:15:41,252
(Victoria) Aww.
369
00:15:41,254 --> 00:15:42,637
[gasps] Oh.
370
00:15:42,639 --> 00:15:44,305
Oh.
371
00:15:44,307 --> 00:15:46,424
You look beautiful.
372
00:15:46,426 --> 00:15:47,926
I hate you.
373
00:15:49,896 --> 00:15:50,929
What?
374
00:15:50,931 --> 00:15:52,180
I couldn't hold it in anymore.
375
00:15:52,182 --> 00:15:53,982
You didn't hold it in at all!
376
00:15:53,984 --> 00:15:55,149
And I hate you too.
377
00:15:55,151 --> 00:15:56,568
Why?
378
00:15:56,570 --> 00:15:59,270
Because you're leaving us,
and you don't care.
379
00:15:59,272 --> 00:16:00,521
I don't care?
380
00:16:00,523 --> 00:16:01,906
You're the ones who don't care.
381
00:16:01,908 --> 00:16:02,991
You couldn't wait for me to go
382
00:16:02,993 --> 00:16:04,275
to make more room for your shoes.
383
00:16:04,277 --> 00:16:05,276
I hate both of you.
384
00:16:05,278 --> 00:16:06,661
But we only acted like that
385
00:16:06,663 --> 00:16:08,413
because you were acting
like you couldn't care less.
386
00:16:08,415 --> 00:16:11,666
I was tamping down my feelings
for your sake.
387
00:16:11,668 --> 00:16:14,752
We were tamping down
our feelings for your sake.
388
00:16:14,754 --> 00:16:16,371
We don't hate you. We love you.
389
00:16:16,373 --> 00:16:19,457
And you look so beautiful in your dress.
390
00:16:19,459 --> 00:16:21,092
I love you too.
391
00:16:21,094 --> 00:16:23,628
[all crying]
392
00:16:23,630 --> 00:16:24,629
[cell phone pings]
393
00:16:24,631 --> 00:16:25,630
Oh, there's your phone.
394
00:16:25,632 --> 00:16:28,516
It's your phone. Get it.
395
00:16:28,518 --> 00:16:30,051
Oh, it's my mother.
396
00:16:30,053 --> 00:16:31,352
"On my way over.
397
00:16:31,354 --> 00:16:33,521
Have something awkward to discuss."
398
00:16:33,523 --> 00:16:35,023
Oh, my God.
399
00:16:35,025 --> 00:16:38,810
That's British for
"I'm about to ruin your life."
400
00:16:38,812 --> 00:16:40,979
Wait, what if she's sick?
401
00:16:40,981 --> 00:16:42,363
I can't stand her,
402
00:16:42,365 --> 00:16:44,482
but I don't want something bad
to happen to her.
403
00:16:44,484 --> 00:16:45,867
She's in love with Bob.
404
00:16:45,869 --> 00:16:49,454
I'll kill the bitch.
405
00:16:49,456 --> 00:16:51,539
(Philipa) Rejoyla, prepare yourself.
406
00:16:51,541 --> 00:16:52,957
I'm going to make a scene.
407
00:16:55,879 --> 00:16:57,996
Oh, my goodness.
408
00:16:57,998 --> 00:17:00,164
Oh, you look stunning.
409
00:17:00,166 --> 00:17:03,001
You're the most beautiful bride
I've ever seen.
410
00:17:03,003 --> 00:17:04,502
Thank you.
411
00:17:04,504 --> 00:17:07,472
That's a very sweet thing to say.
412
00:17:07,474 --> 00:17:10,558
But I believe you came here
to tell me something.
413
00:17:10,560 --> 00:17:12,510
Yes, I did.
414
00:17:12,512 --> 00:17:14,646
But looking at you now,
415
00:17:14,648 --> 00:17:18,683
I realize what I wanted to say is...
416
00:17:18,685 --> 00:17:20,818
I'm a silly old fool.
417
00:17:20,820 --> 00:17:22,020
What are you talking about?
418
00:17:22,022 --> 00:17:23,771
Oh, I've been in a bad place
419
00:17:23,773 --> 00:17:26,357
ever since Daniel broke up with me.
420
00:17:26,359 --> 00:17:28,276
I've been lonely and vulnerable,
421
00:17:28,278 --> 00:17:31,029
and it's led me to some
very peculiar behavior.
422
00:17:32,699 --> 00:17:33,865
(Bob) Joy, are you in there?
423
00:17:33,867 --> 00:17:35,166
Bob, you can't come in here.
424
00:17:35,168 --> 00:17:36,284
You can't see the dress.
425
00:17:36,286 --> 00:17:38,503
(Bob) I'll cover my eyes.
426
00:17:38,505 --> 00:17:41,172
Joy, I need to talk to you
before your mother gets here.
427
00:17:41,174 --> 00:17:42,173
Hello, Bob.
428
00:17:42,175 --> 00:17:43,508
Ah!
429
00:17:45,545 --> 00:17:46,928
Joy, what did she say to you?
430
00:17:46,930 --> 00:17:49,013
I didn't say anything to her.
431
00:17:49,015 --> 00:17:51,849
But I want to say something to you, Bob.
432
00:17:51,851 --> 00:17:54,602
You shouldn't love any woman but Joy.
433
00:17:54,604 --> 00:17:58,439
She's strong and brave,
and you're lucky to marry her.
434
00:17:58,441 --> 00:18:00,892
And if you say or do anything to hurt her,
435
00:18:00,894 --> 00:18:03,695
I'll rip off your head
and spit down the hole.
436
00:18:11,871 --> 00:18:13,071
I love Joy.
437
00:18:13,073 --> 00:18:14,822
I'll never do anything to hurt her.
438
00:18:14,824 --> 00:18:16,741
See that you don't.
439
00:18:16,743 --> 00:18:18,493
Good-bye, Bob.
440
00:18:21,715 --> 00:18:24,582
So, Joy, how much do you know?
441
00:18:24,584 --> 00:18:26,384
I know that my mother fell in love with you
442
00:18:26,386 --> 00:18:28,469
because I made you be extra nice to her.
443
00:18:28,471 --> 00:18:30,755
And nobody can resist your charms
444
00:18:30,757 --> 00:18:32,140
when you're turning them on.
445
00:18:32,142 --> 00:18:33,725
Well, that was easy.
446
00:18:33,727 --> 00:18:35,843
I didn't think I'd get out of
here without a bunch of yelling.
447
00:18:35,845 --> 00:18:37,929
[all yelling at once]
448
00:18:37,931 --> 00:18:39,063
Ah, there it is.
449
00:18:47,830 --> 00:18:50,831
I am so glad you decided not to move out
450
00:18:50,833 --> 00:18:51,832
until after the wedding.
451
00:18:51,834 --> 00:18:53,333
Me too.
452
00:18:53,335 --> 00:18:56,937
Now, we can do this the right
way: in slow, painful stages.
453
00:18:56,939 --> 00:18:57,921
[chuckles]
454
00:18:57,923 --> 00:19:01,592
Yeah, I'm really gonna miss coming
in here and just sitting with you.
455
00:19:01,594 --> 00:19:04,762
This room does have a lot of memories.
456
00:19:04,764 --> 00:19:07,681
Especially that bed.
457
00:19:07,683 --> 00:19:09,233
That's why I'm not sitting on it.
458
00:19:12,772 --> 00:19:14,905
And we have decided to keep
your room just as it is.
459
00:19:14,907 --> 00:19:16,323
You can come back and visit anytime.
460
00:19:18,577 --> 00:19:21,111
Thank you for a lovely visit, Rejoyla.
461
00:19:21,113 --> 00:19:22,529
I'm returning to London now,
462
00:19:22,531 --> 00:19:25,282
but I shall see you in Paris
on the big day.
463
00:19:25,284 --> 00:19:27,251
You're leaving so soon?
464
00:19:27,253 --> 00:19:28,735
Can I at least give you a lift
to the airport?
465
00:19:28,751 --> 00:19:29,850
She has one.
466
00:19:31,350 --> 00:19:32,550
Daddy, that is so sweet.
467
00:19:33,350 --> 00:19:36,050
Philipa has promised to give
me a culinary tour to Britain.
468
00:19:36,750 --> 00:19:37,950
That should only take an hour.
469
00:19:38,450 --> 00:19:39,750
That means there's plenty of time for...
470
00:19:39,850 --> 00:19:41,650
How should I put this? Sex.
471
00:19:43,950 --> 00:19:45,750
Let's go before I change my mind.
472
00:19:46,750 --> 00:19:48,250
- Bye, love.
- Bye-bye.
473
00:19:50,950 --> 00:19:54,250
He's boorish, and uncouth, and I
just might do him on the plane.
474
00:19:58,750 --> 00:20:00,550
Well, I guess that worked out.
475
00:20:02,950 --> 00:20:06,250
So my mum is gonna sleep with your dad.
476
00:20:06,550 --> 00:20:08,650
Well, come to think of it,
he also slept with my mom.
477
00:20:08,950 --> 00:20:11,050
- And me.
- Yeah.
478
00:20:11,650 --> 00:20:13,150
And Joy and I both slept with Bob.
479
00:20:13,350 --> 00:20:15,450
And you and I both slept with
Captain Lebeau from the ship.
480
00:20:16,050 --> 00:20:17,550
And Melanie and I both slept with Kyle,
481
00:20:17,550 --> 00:20:18,750
the guy who left me at the altar.
482
00:20:18,950 --> 00:20:20,150
And we both slept with Mitch.
483
00:20:20,250 --> 00:20:22,050
And we all slept with Sinatra.
484
00:20:24,450 --> 00:20:26,550
Oh, wait, it was just me.
485
00:20:26,600 --> 00:20:31,150
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