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Hot in Cleveland is recorded
in front of a live studio audience.
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(Male TV announcer) The Cincinnati
bengals are at their own one-yard line,
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00:00:07,069 --> 00:00:10,154
and barring a miracle, this game
belongs to the Cleveland Browns.
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00:00:10,206 --> 00:00:13,624
Well, that must make you happy, huh, Elka?
5
00:00:13,659 --> 00:00:16,043
She's on the phone
with the mayor of Cincinnati.
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00:00:16,078 --> 00:00:18,295
She bet him that if Cleveland wins,
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00:00:18,330 --> 00:00:20,330
he has to wear the Browns mascot costume
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00:00:20,382 --> 00:00:24,051
for a week and dress like a dog.
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00:00:24,086 --> 00:00:29,723
I hope that costume
won't be too ruff on you.
10
00:00:29,758 --> 00:00:32,476
(TV announcer) And it's Dalton
to Jones, and he's down.
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00:00:32,511 --> 00:00:34,261
No, a lateral to Bernard,
12
00:00:34,313 --> 00:00:35,262
and he's up!
13
00:00:35,314 --> 00:00:36,346
They're not gonna catch him!
14
00:00:36,348 --> 00:00:37,514
What? No!
15
00:00:37,566 --> 00:00:39,817
(TV announcer) Touchdown! It's a miracle!
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00:00:39,852 --> 00:00:40,851
The Bengals win!
17
00:00:40,903 --> 00:00:42,903
The Bengals win!
18
00:00:42,938 --> 00:00:45,939
That was amazing.
19
00:00:45,991 --> 00:00:50,694
I mean, boo.
20
00:00:50,746 --> 00:00:52,029
I guess you lost the bet, huh?
21
00:00:52,081 --> 00:00:55,449
I've never been a loser before.
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00:00:55,501 --> 00:00:58,502
How do you guys do it?
23
00:01:00,873 --> 00:01:03,874
[Door bell rings]
24
00:01:07,296 --> 00:01:09,847
- Hi, baby.
- Hey, babe.
25
00:01:09,882 --> 00:01:12,549
Oh, weird.
26
00:01:12,601 --> 00:01:16,136
It's like kissing my mom.
27
00:01:16,188 --> 00:01:18,555
You kiss your mom that way?
28
00:01:18,557 --> 00:01:20,691
No, it's just that you're
wearing the same perfume
29
00:01:20,726 --> 00:01:21,725
my mom wears.
30
00:01:21,727 --> 00:01:22,943
Oh, yeah, I was at the mall today,
31
00:01:22,978 --> 00:01:24,444
and some girl asked me if I like Shalimar,
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00:01:24,480 --> 00:01:27,281
and while I was trying to
remember if it was a disco band
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or a perfume, she got me.
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I'll go wash it off.
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Don't use the kitchen sink.
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00:01:32,655 --> 00:01:34,454
It's leaking. We need to call a plumber.
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00:01:34,490 --> 00:01:35,572
(Dane) You don't need a plumber.
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You got the guy right here.
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00:01:37,076 --> 00:01:40,961
(Bob) Two guys.
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I didn't realize you were the handy type.
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00:01:42,915 --> 00:01:44,081
(Bob) Are you kidding?
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00:01:44,083 --> 00:01:45,215
Yeah, when I was a kid, I used to help
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my dad fix stuff all the time.
44
00:01:46,835 --> 00:01:48,051
So you want me to grab you a beer
45
00:01:48,087 --> 00:01:52,306
or just go play in the back yard?
46
00:01:52,341 --> 00:01:53,807
Isn't Bob adorable?
47
00:01:53,842 --> 00:01:56,143
Oh, I'm so in love with him.
48
00:01:56,178 --> 00:01:59,096
I think I'm ready to give him
the Love, actually test.
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00:01:59,148 --> 00:02:02,482
Joy, you know the reason
every guy fails that test?
50
00:02:02,518 --> 00:02:04,601
It's because guys
don't like Love, actually.
51
00:02:04,603 --> 00:02:06,687
Bob is not like other guys.
52
00:02:06,739 --> 00:02:08,488
I believe he is the one guy
53
00:02:08,524 --> 00:02:12,442
who will love that movie as much as I do.
54
00:02:12,494 --> 00:02:16,997
Doesn't Bob remind you
a little bit of Colin Firth?
55
00:02:17,032 --> 00:02:21,001
Yeah, you really are in love.
56
00:02:21,036 --> 00:02:22,619
What a disaster.
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A week before my play opens,
58
00:02:24,039 --> 00:02:27,624
and my costar totally screws me
and leaves the show.
59
00:02:27,676 --> 00:02:28,759
What happened?
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00:02:28,794 --> 00:02:32,429
Oh, his appendix burst.
61
00:02:32,464 --> 00:02:35,382
Where are we gonna find a
masculine Stanley Kowalski type
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00:02:35,434 --> 00:02:38,101
in his 40s in such little time?
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00:02:38,137 --> 00:02:42,189
Just letting you know
I turned the water off.
64
00:02:42,224 --> 00:02:44,024
And I helped out
with the whole righty-tighty,
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00:02:44,059 --> 00:02:47,477
lefty-loosy business.
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00:02:47,479 --> 00:02:49,363
Excuse me, have you ever acted?
67
00:02:49,398 --> 00:02:53,367
I was the star in a nativity play once,
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literally the star.
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00:02:56,121 --> 00:03:00,874
Ah, but you weren't talking to me.
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00:03:00,909 --> 00:03:03,710
Me? Oh, I haven't acted before.
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00:03:03,746 --> 00:03:05,412
Oh, but honey, you could.
72
00:03:05,464 --> 00:03:07,164
You should be in Victoria's play.
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I mean, you're between jobs right now,
74
00:03:08,384 --> 00:03:11,335
and this might be just the thing
to get you going.
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00:03:11,387 --> 00:03:12,636
And you look like an actor.
76
00:03:12,671 --> 00:03:13,637
I mean, that's half of it.
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80%, really.
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00:03:17,176 --> 00:03:19,393
I'm afraid I would embarrass myself.
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00:03:19,428 --> 00:03:22,229
Come on. On my radio show,
I am always telling people,
80
00:03:22,264 --> 00:03:24,898
fears about embarrassment
almost never come true.
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00:03:24,933 --> 00:03:26,433
(Elka) Not in this case.
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00:03:36,612 --> 00:03:38,829
I know I'm 18 days into a juice fast,
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00:03:38,864 --> 00:03:43,700
but is anyone else seeing Elka
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in a tiger suit?
85
00:03:45,954 --> 00:03:47,537
She has to dress like the mascot
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00:03:47,589 --> 00:03:49,673
of the Cincinnati Bengals for a whole week
87
00:03:49,708 --> 00:03:51,091
because she lost a bet.
88
00:03:51,126 --> 00:03:53,844
And I'm scheduled
to be on The Grill this week.
89
00:03:53,879 --> 00:03:55,629
The Grill with Arnie McManus?
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00:03:55,681 --> 00:03:56,930
I love that show.
91
00:03:56,965 --> 00:03:59,049
He's always taking politicians down.
92
00:04:02,554 --> 00:04:07,224
I'm a politician, you idiot.
93
00:04:07,226 --> 00:04:09,559
Well, normally I'd be upset
when someone calls me an idiot,
94
00:04:09,561 --> 00:04:13,230
but in that tiger suit,
well, she's just so adorable.
95
00:04:19,571 --> 00:04:23,407
Oh, it's gonna be a long week.
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00:04:25,244 --> 00:04:27,711
[Upbeat music]
97
00:04:27,746 --> 00:04:29,913
Ba-ba, ba-ba
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00:04:29,965 --> 00:04:32,916
ba-ba, ba-ba
99
00:04:32,968 --> 00:04:34,885
Synced and corrected by oykubuyuk
www.addic7ed.com
100
00:04:34,920 --> 00:04:37,637
I just came to watch.
101
00:04:40,142 --> 00:04:41,758
I ordered room service.
102
00:04:41,760 --> 00:04:42,809
Are you hungry?
103
00:04:42,845 --> 00:04:45,562
Hungry for you.
104
00:04:45,597 --> 00:04:50,434
Kiss me, Marnie.
105
00:04:50,436 --> 00:04:53,270
What the...
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00:04:53,322 --> 00:04:56,740
stop it.
107
00:04:56,775 --> 00:04:58,775
Your girlfriend doesn't
kiss you like that, does she?
108
00:04:58,827 --> 00:05:04,114
I wouldn't be here if she did.
109
00:05:04,116 --> 00:05:07,000
Their chemistry is amazing.
110
00:05:07,035 --> 00:05:09,336
Everyone thinks they must be doing it.
111
00:05:09,371 --> 00:05:12,255
Well, they're not
because that's my boyfriend
112
00:05:12,291 --> 00:05:13,256
and my best friend.
113
00:05:13,292 --> 00:05:15,625
Oh, just like in the play.
114
00:05:15,627 --> 00:05:17,344
Yeah, yeah.
115
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Just like in the play.
116
00:05:20,299 --> 00:05:21,465
That was great.
117
00:05:21,517 --> 00:05:22,966
Now let's go again, but remember to show
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that insatiable hunger
you have for each other.
119
00:05:25,521 --> 00:05:26,603
I want to see more heat.
120
00:05:26,638 --> 00:05:29,856
More?
121
00:05:29,892 --> 00:05:32,392
Sorry. Hi, honey.
122
00:05:34,229 --> 00:05:39,032
Oh, my God, Melanie, acting is such a rush.
123
00:05:39,067 --> 00:05:41,568
Yeah, yeah, but all that
kissing with Victoria,
124
00:05:41,620 --> 00:05:43,153
it almost seemed real.
125
00:05:43,155 --> 00:05:44,571
It was real.
126
00:05:44,623 --> 00:05:46,206
I'm sorry, what?
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00:05:46,241 --> 00:05:48,074
For my character.
128
00:05:48,127 --> 00:05:51,661
My character really was kissing Victoria.
129
00:05:51,663 --> 00:05:53,997
But aren't you your character?
130
00:05:53,999 --> 00:05:57,551
Let me explain to you
how acting works, Melanie.
131
00:05:57,586 --> 00:05:59,302
My character says he's a painter.
132
00:05:59,338 --> 00:06:02,305
Does that make Dane a painter, too?
133
00:06:02,341 --> 00:06:05,008
No.
134
00:06:05,010 --> 00:06:10,480
Until he walks out there
on that stage, and then yes,
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00:06:10,516 --> 00:06:12,516
he's a painter.
136
00:06:12,518 --> 00:06:16,319
Got it, but about all that kissing.
137
00:06:16,355 --> 00:06:19,606
Does Dane get sexually excited
when he kisses Victoria?
138
00:06:19,658 --> 00:06:21,658
No.
139
00:06:21,693 --> 00:06:24,778
But when my character kisses Victoria...
140
00:06:24,830 --> 00:06:28,865
Oh, yeah.
141
00:06:28,917 --> 00:06:32,502
Well, that really clears things up.
142
00:06:32,538 --> 00:06:34,621
There she is.
143
00:06:34,673 --> 00:06:38,875
Look at her, beauty, brains, funny.
144
00:06:38,877 --> 00:06:43,013
You never get all three
in the same package.
145
00:06:43,048 --> 00:06:45,849
No, you do not.
146
00:06:45,884 --> 00:06:47,300
Hello, Victoria.
147
00:06:47,352 --> 00:06:48,685
Can I get you a drink?
148
00:06:48,720 --> 00:06:50,887
I'll have a glass of Merlot.
149
00:06:50,939 --> 00:06:52,722
Okay.
150
00:06:52,774 --> 00:06:56,309
Wow. Melanie, your boyfriend is a natural.
151
00:06:56,361 --> 00:06:57,894
I was freaked out about opening night,
152
00:06:57,946 --> 00:06:59,646
but now I can't wait.
153
00:06:59,698 --> 00:07:01,398
The critics are gonna love us.
154
00:07:01,450 --> 00:07:03,867
But you know, it's a little unsettling
155
00:07:03,902 --> 00:07:06,570
watching someone you're crazy
about kissing someone else.
156
00:07:06,622 --> 00:07:08,705
Mel, it's just acting.
157
00:07:08,740 --> 00:07:10,624
Yeah, but you really seemed into it.
158
00:07:10,659 --> 00:07:13,243
No, I'm not, but my character.
159
00:07:13,295 --> 00:07:16,580
[Purrs]
160
00:07:16,632 --> 00:07:18,415
Let me explain how acting works.
161
00:07:18,467 --> 00:07:22,419
I know how acting works!
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00:07:22,421 --> 00:07:25,422
[Melodramatic piano plays on TV]
163
00:07:26,475 --> 00:07:29,259
So that was Love, actually.
164
00:07:29,261 --> 00:07:30,760
What did you think?
165
00:07:30,812 --> 00:07:33,813
I loved it. Sweet and funny.
166
00:07:33,849 --> 00:07:35,599
- Just like you.
- Aw.
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00:07:35,601 --> 00:07:38,435
Melanie said no guy would like
it, but I knew you would.
168
00:07:38,487 --> 00:07:39,603
Oh, of course.
169
00:07:39,605 --> 00:07:43,690
I mean, what a cast,
Hugh Grant, Liam neeson,
170
00:07:43,742 --> 00:07:45,825
Snape from Harry Potter.
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00:07:50,949 --> 00:07:53,166
Shall we continue
this Love, actually discussion
172
00:07:53,201 --> 00:07:54,501
upstairs?
173
00:07:54,536 --> 00:07:57,871
Yes, actually.
174
00:07:57,923 --> 00:08:01,791
- Let's get some wine.
- All right.
175
00:08:01,843 --> 00:08:03,176
Elka, what are you doing here?
176
00:08:03,211 --> 00:08:05,011
Isn't this your bowling night?
177
00:08:05,047 --> 00:08:08,882
I'm not leaving this house
until this bet is over.
178
00:08:08,934 --> 00:08:12,052
Now, get off my tail.
179
00:08:12,104 --> 00:08:13,553
Okay, I'm sorry.
180
00:08:13,605 --> 00:08:17,774
No, you're standing on my tail.
181
00:08:17,809 --> 00:08:18,775
Well, you're gonna have to leave the house
182
00:08:18,810 --> 00:08:20,443
to appear on The Grill.
183
00:08:20,479 --> 00:08:22,562
No, I don't. I postponed.
184
00:08:22,614 --> 00:08:24,114
Because of the suit?
185
00:08:24,149 --> 00:08:28,034
Plus I've got a few things
I don't want to be asked about.
186
00:08:28,070 --> 00:08:29,786
Like how you're still living here
187
00:08:29,821 --> 00:08:34,958
and renting out
the mayor's mansion on airbnb?
188
00:08:34,993 --> 00:08:38,662
I've got a wedding coming in next week.
189
00:08:38,664 --> 00:08:40,880
Arnie's gonna kill you on The Grill.
190
00:08:40,916 --> 00:08:42,666
He already has.
191
00:08:42,668 --> 00:08:45,001
They've been running his promo all day.
192
00:08:47,339 --> 00:08:50,840
Mayor Elka Ostrovsky,
why are you avoiding me?
193
00:08:50,842 --> 00:08:53,977
Are you too busy making
silly bets to hop on The Grill
194
00:08:54,012 --> 00:08:55,812
and answer the tough questions?
195
00:08:55,847 --> 00:09:00,066
Or to put it another way,
is the tiger chicken?
196
00:09:02,020 --> 00:09:03,820
I agree you shouldn't go on the show,
197
00:09:03,855 --> 00:09:05,271
but isn't hiding out here
198
00:09:05,324 --> 00:09:08,858
worse than taking a little public teasing?
199
00:09:08,910 --> 00:09:11,411
You're right.
200
00:09:11,446 --> 00:09:14,447
I'm gonna go out there
and take my medicine.
201
00:09:14,499 --> 00:09:18,034
You're going to the bar, aren't you?
202
00:09:18,086 --> 00:09:19,703
That's where they keep my medicine.
203
00:09:25,460 --> 00:09:28,178
I think Dane's falling in love
with Victoria.
204
00:09:28,213 --> 00:09:29,346
Oh, I'm sure he's not.
205
00:09:29,381 --> 00:09:30,547
It's just the play.
206
00:09:30,549 --> 00:09:32,716
The play is the problem.
207
00:09:32,768 --> 00:09:34,351
Melanie, if you want my advice,
208
00:09:34,386 --> 00:09:36,469
this is a trust issue.
209
00:09:36,521 --> 00:09:38,138
That's where I'm lucky with Bob.
210
00:09:38,190 --> 00:09:42,142
The only thing I ever wanted
from him was complete honesty,
211
00:09:42,194 --> 00:09:44,527
and he's given me that.
212
00:09:44,563 --> 00:09:48,114
How does that address my problem?
213
00:09:48,150 --> 00:09:52,235
I guess it doesn't.
214
00:09:52,287 --> 00:09:54,904
I'm gonna call Bob and tell him
how much I love him.
215
00:09:54,956 --> 00:09:58,124
And look, there's a message from him.
216
00:09:58,160 --> 00:09:59,409
See how in sync we are?
217
00:09:59,411 --> 00:10:01,294
Amazing.
218
00:10:01,329 --> 00:10:04,881
(Bob voicemail) Actually, Dr. cutler,
it's been a pretty good week for me.
219
00:10:04,916 --> 00:10:08,468
He must have butt-dialed me
from his therapist's office.
220
00:10:08,503 --> 00:10:13,757
This is the holy grail
of snooping on your boyfriend.
221
00:10:13,759 --> 00:10:16,176
(Bob voicemail) Things are
going great with Joy,
222
00:10:16,228 --> 00:10:18,511
except she made me sit
through this misshapen freak
223
00:10:18,563 --> 00:10:21,264
of a movie called Love, actually.
224
00:10:21,316 --> 00:10:22,766
He said he loved it.
225
00:10:22,818 --> 00:10:24,150
(Bob voicemail) If I wanted
to be tortured for two hours,
226
00:10:24,186 --> 00:10:28,321
I'd take a pilates class.
227
00:10:28,356 --> 00:10:30,190
Anyway, about my hopes and dre...
228
00:10:30,242 --> 00:10:32,776
who cares?
229
00:10:32,828 --> 00:10:35,278
Can you believe Bob lied to me?
230
00:10:35,330 --> 00:10:38,448
He's a liar like every
other man I've dated.
231
00:10:38,500 --> 00:10:39,949
What are you gonna do?
232
00:10:40,001 --> 00:10:41,334
I'm gonna torture him with pilates
233
00:10:41,369 --> 00:10:45,338
until he confesses he's a liar.
234
00:10:45,373 --> 00:10:47,290
Bob's still trainable.
235
00:10:47,292 --> 00:10:50,376
I'm gonna break him like a puppy.
236
00:10:50,429 --> 00:10:52,629
Dane is like a puppy
with this acting thing.
237
00:10:52,631 --> 00:10:55,048
He just wants to put his mouth
on everything,
238
00:10:55,100 --> 00:10:57,801
especially Victoria.
239
00:10:57,853 --> 00:11:01,271
If only there was some puppy
repellant we could spray on her.
240
00:11:01,306 --> 00:11:04,808
There is, Dane's mother's
perfume, Shalimar.
241
00:11:04,810 --> 00:11:05,975
He'll still have to kiss her,
242
00:11:05,977 --> 00:11:07,694
but he'll hate every second of it.
243
00:11:07,729 --> 00:11:10,313
All I have to do is spray it
on Victoria's costume.
244
00:11:10,315 --> 00:11:12,816
That's a brilliant idea.
245
00:11:12,818 --> 00:11:14,284
You know, most girlfriends
246
00:11:14,319 --> 00:11:18,822
wouldn't care enough to go as far as we do.
247
00:11:18,874 --> 00:11:21,324
They're lucky to have us.
248
00:11:21,326 --> 00:11:23,827
[Helicopter blades whirring]
249
00:11:23,829 --> 00:11:25,161
Oh, my goodness.
250
00:11:25,163 --> 00:11:28,164
Why is there a helicopter
landing on our front lawn?
251
00:11:30,669 --> 00:11:32,302
Thanks, LeBron.
252
00:11:36,475 --> 00:11:39,142
This suit is magic.
253
00:11:39,177 --> 00:11:42,178
LeBron James just dropped you
off in his helicopter.
254
00:11:42,180 --> 00:11:45,181
Well, first we stopped in Atlantic city.
255
00:11:45,233 --> 00:11:47,851
- I won big.
- What?
256
00:11:47,903 --> 00:11:51,905
I was counting cards out loud.
257
00:11:51,940 --> 00:11:54,240
They didn't care.
258
00:11:54,276 --> 00:11:55,992
So I guess you're not hiding anymore?
259
00:11:56,027 --> 00:11:59,996
I'm bulletproof, which is
why I'm going on The Grill.
260
00:12:00,031 --> 00:12:03,082
Elka, Arnie McManus will eat you alive.
261
00:12:03,118 --> 00:12:05,201
I got this.
262
00:12:05,203 --> 00:12:07,871
I also got this.
263
00:12:07,923 --> 00:12:10,757
Is that LeBron James' championship ring?
264
00:12:10,792 --> 00:12:12,792
Not anymore.
265
00:12:15,696 --> 00:12:17,729
I'm so glad you like pilates.
266
00:12:17,781 --> 00:12:19,064
Are you kidding?
267
00:12:19,066 --> 00:12:21,566
I love it.
268
00:12:21,618 --> 00:12:25,737
It's fantastic, the way
it's stretching my groin.
269
00:12:25,789 --> 00:12:29,124
I can't believe there was a time
I didn't do it.
270
00:12:29,159 --> 00:12:33,245
Oh, just thinking about that time now.
271
00:12:33,297 --> 00:12:35,747
So you're really enjoying it?
272
00:12:35,749 --> 00:12:40,001
Yeah, it's so much fun.
273
00:12:40,053 --> 00:12:41,586
- Liar.
- What?
274
00:12:41,638 --> 00:12:43,221
You lied to me about pilates,
275
00:12:43,257 --> 00:12:46,007
the same way you lied
to me about Love, actually.
276
00:12:46,059 --> 00:12:47,259
How do you know that?
277
00:12:47,311 --> 00:12:50,095
I mean, why would you say that?
278
00:12:50,147 --> 00:12:55,100
Because you butt-dialed me
from your therapy session.
279
00:12:55,102 --> 00:12:58,603
And you listened?
280
00:12:58,655 --> 00:13:00,322
Don't change the subject.
281
00:13:00,357 --> 00:13:01,773
You violated my trust.
282
00:13:01,775 --> 00:13:05,777
Well, what about my trust, huh?
283
00:13:05,829 --> 00:13:07,112
Listening in on a therapy session
284
00:13:07,114 --> 00:13:09,698
is way worse than pretending
to like some stupid movie.
285
00:13:09,750 --> 00:13:11,082
Stupid movie?
286
00:13:11,118 --> 00:13:12,534
Yes, stupid movie.
287
00:13:12,586 --> 00:13:15,086
Some creepy stalker holding up
a bunch of dumb cue cards
288
00:13:15,122 --> 00:13:16,338
for the woman he loves?
289
00:13:16,373 --> 00:13:17,506
What's romantic about that?
290
00:13:17,541 --> 00:13:19,090
How about everything?
291
00:13:19,126 --> 00:13:21,092
That's only my favorite scene.
292
00:13:21,128 --> 00:13:22,677
The point is, you lied,
293
00:13:22,713 --> 00:13:24,846
and if you lied about this,
what else have you lied about?
294
00:13:24,882 --> 00:13:28,049
No, the point is you
eavesdropped, and I'm furious.
295
00:13:28,101 --> 00:13:30,135
I'm gonna need you to storm out right now.
296
00:13:30,187 --> 00:13:31,386
Me? Why should I storm out?
297
00:13:31,438 --> 00:13:32,804
Why don't you storm out?
298
00:13:32,806 --> 00:13:34,473
Because I also lied about how good it felt
299
00:13:34,475 --> 00:13:35,891
to stretch my groin.
300
00:13:44,451 --> 00:13:45,784
Well, I did it.
301
00:13:45,819 --> 00:13:47,986
Not only did I spray Victoria's
costume with Shalimar,
302
00:13:48,038 --> 00:13:49,704
but I doused Dane's in old spice,
303
00:13:49,740 --> 00:13:51,623
which is the cologne
that Victoria's dad wears.
304
00:13:51,658 --> 00:13:54,960
It's gonna be like they're
kissing their parents.
305
00:13:54,995 --> 00:13:55,994
Where's Bob?
306
00:13:55,996 --> 00:13:57,746
I don't think he's coming.
307
00:13:57,798 --> 00:13:59,080
I found the love of my life
308
00:13:59,132 --> 00:14:01,666
and I pushed him away with my stupid scheme
309
00:14:01,668 --> 00:14:02,751
just like you're about to push Dane away
310
00:14:02,803 --> 00:14:05,003
with your moronic idea.
311
00:14:05,055 --> 00:14:06,054
What?
312
00:14:11,762 --> 00:14:13,512
I ordered room service.
313
00:14:13,514 --> 00:14:15,263
Are you hungry?
314
00:14:15,315 --> 00:14:16,314
Hungry for you.
315
00:14:22,322 --> 00:14:24,022
Kiss me, mommy.
316
00:14:24,074 --> 00:14:28,243
I mean Marnie, not mommy.
317
00:14:28,278 --> 00:14:29,828
Uh-oh.
318
00:14:29,863 --> 00:14:32,531
I can smell them from here.
319
00:14:32,583 --> 00:14:34,866
Don't stop.
320
00:14:34,918 --> 00:14:36,016
I'll never stop.
321
00:14:42,915 --> 00:14:45,749
Tonight, I ask Mayor Ostrovsky
the tough questions.
322
00:14:45,801 --> 00:14:48,752
Why is she funneling city money to the zoo?
323
00:14:48,804 --> 00:14:52,923
Why does she conduct
city council meetings in a bar?
324
00:14:52,925 --> 00:14:58,429
And why is her chief of staff a
pomeranian named George Clooney?
325
00:14:58,431 --> 00:15:01,765
We'll find out when
I put the mayor on The Grill.
326
00:15:01,801 --> 00:15:03,317
[Newsroom music]
327
00:15:03,352 --> 00:15:05,936
[Sizzling]
328
00:15:05,938 --> 00:15:08,155
Your honor, you know
how it works on The Grill.
329
00:15:08,190 --> 00:15:11,275
First question,
how do you respond to the rumors
330
00:15:11,327 --> 00:15:13,027
that you have to be a single handsome man
331
00:15:13,079 --> 00:15:14,161
to work in your office?
332
00:15:14,196 --> 00:15:15,529
So?
333
00:15:15,581 --> 00:15:19,450
Your assistant is barely legal
and has big boobs.
334
00:15:19,452 --> 00:15:20,951
That's my daughter.
335
00:15:20,953 --> 00:15:23,754
Lovely girl.
336
00:15:23,789 --> 00:15:25,456
Next question.
337
00:15:25,458 --> 00:15:29,259
Is it about how cute
I look in a tiger suit?
338
00:15:29,295 --> 00:15:30,377
No, it is not.
339
00:15:30,429 --> 00:15:32,179
I despise cute things.
340
00:15:32,214 --> 00:15:34,848
Ruh-roh.
341
00:15:34,884 --> 00:15:35,966
Life isn't cute, your honor,
342
00:15:36,018 --> 00:15:38,268
and I don't like my emotions manipulated.
343
00:15:38,304 --> 00:15:40,471
This show is not about appearances.
344
00:15:40,523 --> 00:15:44,641
It is about the dark,
ugly reality underneath.
345
00:15:44,693 --> 00:15:47,311
- Who hurt you?
- What?
346
00:15:47,363 --> 00:15:48,362
What? Nobody hurt me.
347
00:15:48,397 --> 00:15:50,197
What are you talking about?
348
00:15:50,232 --> 00:15:53,117
Was it your mom or your dad?
349
00:15:53,152 --> 00:15:56,787
Which one named you Arnold?
350
00:15:56,822 --> 00:15:58,655
You don't grill me. I grill you.
351
00:15:58,707 --> 00:16:00,491
It was your dad, right?
352
00:16:00,493 --> 00:16:03,327
Wrong. I didn't have a dad.
353
00:16:03,379 --> 00:16:06,296
I mean, there were a series
of men that I had to call "dad,"
354
00:16:06,332 --> 00:16:08,882
but back to you, your honor.
355
00:16:08,918 --> 00:16:10,834
Wow, that must have been hard.
356
00:16:10,836 --> 00:16:12,836
It wasn't easy.
357
00:16:12,838 --> 00:16:15,589
I mean, one guy was
only six years older than me.
358
00:16:15,641 --> 00:16:19,843
My mom lost her job
as a teacher because of him.
359
00:16:19,845 --> 00:16:25,349
Why'd my best friend pay
for my daughter's boob job?
360
00:16:25,401 --> 00:16:28,018
Those are all good questions, Arnie,
361
00:16:28,020 --> 00:16:31,105
but it looks like
we're running out of time.
362
00:16:31,157 --> 00:16:33,690
Oh, yeah, we are.
363
00:16:33,742 --> 00:16:36,860
I'll see you tomorrow on The Grill.
364
00:16:36,912 --> 00:16:38,745
[Newsroom music]
365
00:16:38,781 --> 00:16:41,365
[Sizzling]
366
00:16:42,040 --> 00:16:43,489
Tiger hug?
367
00:16:43,541 --> 00:16:46,993
Yes.
368
00:16:46,995 --> 00:16:49,162
So soft.
369
00:16:49,164 --> 00:16:50,630
So soft.
370
00:16:50,665 --> 00:16:53,666
Why were you wearing my mother's perfume?
371
00:16:53,668 --> 00:16:55,668
You ruined my kiss acting.
372
00:16:55,670 --> 00:16:57,253
Well, you wore old spice.
373
00:16:57,305 --> 00:17:00,339
It was like doing a love scene
with my father.
374
00:17:00,341 --> 00:17:01,924
I never put on old spice.
375
00:17:01,976 --> 00:17:04,727
Well, I never wore Shalimar...
376
00:17:07,182 --> 00:17:10,183
sabotage.
377
00:17:10,235 --> 00:17:14,771
Lucci.
378
00:17:14,823 --> 00:17:16,689
No, it was me.
379
00:17:16,691 --> 00:17:20,910
(Victoria) [Gasping] Melanie.
380
00:17:20,945 --> 00:17:25,248
I'm so sorry, but the rest of
your performance was grrrreat!
381
00:17:28,036 --> 00:17:33,206
Aw, she's doing what a tiger does.
382
00:17:33,258 --> 00:17:36,125
See, I have the suit on, so
you can't be mad at me, right?
383
00:17:36,177 --> 00:17:38,427
Oh, yes, we can.
384
00:17:38,463 --> 00:17:41,130
That whole play
was based on sexual chemistry,
385
00:17:41,182 --> 00:17:42,882
and you ruined it.
386
00:17:42,934 --> 00:17:45,885
[Phones beep]
387
00:17:45,937 --> 00:17:48,471
Oh, no. The reviews are in.
388
00:17:48,523 --> 00:17:50,022
Hang on.
389
00:17:50,058 --> 00:17:51,641
The plain dealer says,
390
00:17:51,693 --> 00:17:52,892
"open a window 'cause
391
00:17:52,894 --> 00:17:54,443
these two are hot."
392
00:17:54,479 --> 00:17:55,728
(Dane) Wait, wait, wait, wait,
393
00:17:55,730 --> 00:17:59,448
"Victoria Chase and Dane Stevens
are a revelation.
394
00:17:59,484 --> 00:18:02,485
Their decision not to kiss was genius."
395
00:18:02,537 --> 00:18:03,569
We did it!
396
00:18:03,571 --> 00:18:06,823
Of course we did. We're geniuses.
397
00:18:06,875 --> 00:18:09,458
You're the genius, Victoria.
398
00:18:09,494 --> 00:18:12,245
I've never met a more amazing
person in my life.
399
00:18:12,247 --> 00:18:14,747
Aw.
400
00:18:14,799 --> 00:18:19,168
So glad I put the suit on.
401
00:18:19,220 --> 00:18:21,087
Joy, we're a hit.
402
00:18:21,089 --> 00:18:22,505
Congratulations.
403
00:18:22,557 --> 00:18:23,840
Joy, where are you going?
404
00:18:23,892 --> 00:18:26,592
Over to Bob's house to beg forgiveness.
405
00:18:26,594 --> 00:18:28,427
I treated him like my other boyfriends,
406
00:18:28,479 --> 00:18:30,429
and he's not.
407
00:18:30,431 --> 00:18:32,598
He was only lying about a movie,
408
00:18:32,600 --> 00:18:35,985
wasn't cheating on me
or secretly living in my car
409
00:18:36,020 --> 00:18:39,438
for a month like other guys have.
410
00:18:39,440 --> 00:18:41,440
Wish me luck.
411
00:18:45,246 --> 00:18:49,198
Bob.
412
00:18:49,250 --> 00:18:52,201
[Romantic piano ballad playing]
413
00:18:52,253 --> 00:19:00,259
414
00:19:28,323 --> 00:19:29,372
Oh, Bob.
415
00:19:41,201 --> 00:19:43,034
And it turns out
there was a Broadway producer
416
00:19:43,036 --> 00:19:44,419
in the audience who saw me,
417
00:19:44,454 --> 00:19:45,670
and he offered me a play.
418
00:19:45,705 --> 00:19:47,288
Wow, that's great.
419
00:19:47,340 --> 00:19:49,007
So you're going to New York.
420
00:19:49,042 --> 00:19:51,459
Yeah, and I've got to get
in really good shape
421
00:19:51,511 --> 00:19:54,879
because I'm doing a nude scene
with what's her name, Angela...
422
00:19:54,931 --> 00:19:57,882
Lansbury?
423
00:19:57,934 --> 00:20:00,018
No, that wasn't it,
424
00:20:00,053 --> 00:20:02,353
but I've got to be to New York
by tomorrow morning,
425
00:20:02,389 --> 00:20:04,022
so I'd better go pack.
426
00:20:04,057 --> 00:20:07,975
Well, if you're gonna be nude,
you don't have to pack much.
427
00:20:08,028 --> 00:20:11,896
Once again, Melanie, you're
forgetting how acting works.
428
00:20:11,898 --> 00:20:13,064
Well, good luck.
429
00:20:13,099 --> 00:20:14,782
I'm really happy for you.
430
00:20:14,818 --> 00:20:15,983
I'll text you when I get there.
431
00:20:16,036 --> 00:20:17,151
That sounds perfect.
432
00:20:17,203 --> 00:20:18,403
Hey.
433
00:20:18,405 --> 00:20:20,738
How much longer are you gonna
need that suit?
434
00:20:20,774 --> 00:20:21,873
Why?
435
00:20:21,908 --> 00:20:24,375
Somebody egged the mayor of Cincinnati.
436
00:20:24,411 --> 00:20:26,244
I need it for the lineup.
437
00:20:26,294 --> 00:20:30,844
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