All language subtitles for Hogans Heroes s06e08 Eight and All Is Well.eng

( theme song playing )

♪ ♪

Hello, Jolly Roger calling
Papa Bear, do you read me?

Package is in sight, stand by.

All right, Jolly Roger.

We're ready. Stand by.

Now!

Now!

( explosions )

Bull's-eye.

Let's pack up and
get out of here.

We earned our money for tonight.

Yeah, just not tonight.

This is the second
big job this week.

We've been
busy as beavers.

We ought to get something
extra for this job.

Yeah, wait till Christmas.

I'll get you a nice set
of Kraut trains to blow up.

Let's go.

The small arms
factory at Heinsdorf,

the bridge at Shorsteinhorf,

dynamite planted
at a munitions dump.

Hello?

Hello, Major Hochstetter here.

Ja.

Continue the patrols.

Question the local people.

( over speaker ):
Ja, and Berger?

Request reinforcements
from Dusseldorf.

Sign my name. Good.

Now, Klink, last night,
not too far from here,

a convoy was blown up,
almost totally destroyed.

These lines are drawn
from the points

where the sabotage
has taken place.

Now, Klink, where
do these lines cross?

Stalag 13.

How do you explain this, Klink?

Well, we are centrally located.

So is the Russian Front,
I promise you.

( phone ringing )

Hello?

Sergeant Schultz,
speaking.

Uh-huh.

Oh, uh-huh.

Mm-hmm.

It's for you,
Major.

The radio detection truck
has arrived in Hammelburg.

Hello, Major Hochstetter here.

Ja, good.

Begin patrolling at once.

Dusseldorf to Hammelburg.

Ja. Good. Carry on.

Is there anything here that
interests you, Sergeant?

The lines make a wheel.

You draw
very nicely, Major.

Danke.

He is not adding
anything to this meeting.

Except weight.

Major Hochstetter,

are you suggesting
that Stalag 13

has any relationship
to this sabotage, huh?

At last, a little
daylight filters through.

Shall I raise the blinds?

If there is a
relationship, Klink,

we intend to find it.

I must say the Gestapo

is certainly throwing
itself into this.

Ja, and if we
find anything,

the Gestapo will
throw itself at you.

They will take drastic action.

Guten Tag.

He forgot to say "Heil Hitler."

Hochstetter
really means business.

We're gonna have
to lay low for a while,

and I mean really low.

No sabotage activity and
keep radio to a minimum.

What about the train job?

Yeah, you told
the underground

we'd do it
next week, sir.

Colonel, that munitions train
is on a regular schedule.

Dusseldorf, Berlin,
the Eastern Front.

Yeah, and that could
change anytime.

Yeah, there's nothing
we can do about it.

That's just
the kind of activity

the Krauts will be
on the alert for.

Oh, we can handle it.

I got my chargers
all set, sir.

Forget it.

My first responsibility is
the protection of this unit.

The colonel's right.

In a way,
we are his family.

Oh, I'm in
a lot of trouble.

KLINK:
Captain James Martin, U.S. Army Air Force.

Colonel Robert Hogan,
Senior P.O.W. Officer.

Colonel.
At ease, Captain.

We try to maintain
an informal atmosphere

here at the
enchanted castle.

Thank you, sir.

It seems to go with
the beautiful surroundings.

A very nice guy.

Shut up.

Captain Martin
has been assigned

to these barracks,
ordered by the Commandant.

You thought you'd never
live in a zoo.

Hogan!

Now, Captain,

there has never been
a successful escape

from Stalag 13.

And there never will be.

A word to the wise.

I hope you all live
happily ever after.

They sure know how
to make a fella

feel right at home,
don't they?

This is Carter.

Hi.

Baker.
How are you?

And LeBeau.

Sorry,
Captain. A pleasure.

I'll try to make you
comfortable, Captain.

The bar stays open
until midnight,

and we usually have
clam chowder on Fridays.

What outfit
were you with?

395th Bomber Squadron.

Had to bail out
over Dusseldorf,

both inboard engines hit.

The Krauts
are shooting better.

What happened to the
rest of your crew?

Couldn't find them.

Some farmer grabbed me
and here I am.

395th Bomb Squadron.

The Happy Hawks.

That's the 19th.

We're the Crazy Kangaroos.

Oh, yeah, yeah,
that's right, yeah.

Did you see
a rainbow?

Yes, and the color
green was missing.

Green is the word
this week, Colonel.

You understand we
have to do this?

Yes, sir, I understand.

We were briefed on what
to do in case of capture.

Mm-hmm.

Okay, you can
room in with me.

LeBeau, take him to my cell
and show him around.

Oui, Colonel.
Right this way, Captain.

What do you think, Colonel?

I'm not sure.

Looks okay
to me.

How much do we
tell him, sir?

Nothing yet. He learns
nothing of our operation.

Radio London, have them
give us a rundown on him.

Right, sir.

Give him a routine check,
turn him upside down,

shake him a little.

And don't ask him
any of those corny questions

about Ty Cobb's batting average.

That's the first thing
they learn at spy school.

The war's okay, but I sure
would like to get back home.

Yeah, so would I.

Yeah, I sure would like to
be home on Saturday night,

walk down Main Street,
see all the people.

Go in the drugstore and
put my old quarter down

on the old counter and
get a bottle of pop.

Pop's a dime.

Yeah, I-I-I seem
to have forgotten.

There's so much I seem
to have forgotten

since I left
Grand Rapids.

Grand Rapids, is that
where you lived?

Yeah.

Yeah, it's the prettiest
little town in Illinois.

Grand Rapids is in Michigan,

and it's not what
you'd call a little town.

I guess I've been away
longer than I remember.

Got any more questions?

Well, I had some
written-- forget it.

I-I don't really
live in Grand Rapids.

(chuckling)
Captain...

Yeah?

What do you think
of Ty Cobb?

You want to know
his batting average?

Hi.

( speaking German )

What?

I asked you for
a match in German.

Oh, it's all right.
I don't smoke.

His clothes are okay,
sir, nothing hidden.

No phony labels.

I spoke German
to him, Colonel.

He didn't understand.

He knows that Grand Rapids
is in Michigan

and that it's a pretty
good sized town.

Yeah, and London
checked him out.

There is a Captain Martin
in the 395th Bomb Squadron.

Description
fits, sir.

395th bomb Dusseldorf?

Yes, sir.

Martin's plane didn't
return from the mission.

Well, you all feel
he can be trusted?

Well, there's nothing
wrong with him.

Absolutely.

Well, if that's the vote,
let's tell him the truth.

That's our dark
room in there.

We have a chemistry lab,
a printing press,

pretty good forging equipment.

That, of course,
is our radio room.

You guys could win
the war alone.

We almost have
a couple of times.

Klink and the guards

have never tumbled
to any of this?

You heard him say
there's never been

a successful escape
from Stalag 13.

We don't allow escapes.

And that keeps
him happy.

Oh, he takes it
all very big.

Commandant of the toughest
P.O.W. camp in all of Germany?

Yep, he expects his General
stripes any minute.

Klink must be an idiot.

Oh, he has his good points
if you look for them.

Of course, that could
take a lifetime.

BAKER:
Colonel.

Yeah?

There's a message from
the underground, sir.

The munitions train?

Yeah, uh, Carl's asking
for a meeting.

Set it up
for tomorrow night.

Have Carter and LeBeau bring him
in through the emergency tunnel.

Will do.

Yeah, the Krauts have been
running a munitions train,

Berlin to Dusseldorf and
points East at a regular time.

The underground
wants to blow it up

before they change the schedule.

Did you say
emergency tunnel?

Yeah, that's part of our system.

We have an emergency tunnel,
a tunnel out of camp,

a tunnel to the cooler and
a tunnel to Klink's quarters.

That's fantastic.

Someday we'll steal a train,
we've got ourselves a subway.

The ideal spot
would be here.

There is a hill
and the train

picks up speed
and is going too fast to stop

even if they should see
something on the tracks.

I think we ought to
use contact fuses

for this job, Colonel.

As I said, we're going
to lay low for a while.

There's a Gestapo agent
under every rock

in this part of Germany.

They've even got men patrolling

this little
country club of ours.

Colonel, we might not
get another chance.

Yeah, especially
if they change

the train
schedule, sir.

Carl, what's the distance

between here
and the blowup point?

Can't be any more
than ten miles.

Nearest road?

About a half mile.

The train passes here
at approximately 2200 hours.

A minute or two, either way.

What's the plan,
Colonel?

Well, if we plant
contact fuses

as you suggested,

we could put the explosives in
there an hour or two in advance.

We could be back here
when the fireworks start.

Right, minimum danger
from patrols.

All right, Carter.

You, LeBeau and Newkirk
take care of the charges.

Baker, you stay
with the car.

I'll handle
the guard duty.

Colonel, we'd be
very happy to...

No, no,
no, please.

You and your people
have to stay out of this

in case you're
being watched.

Everybody
clear?

Right.
Right, sir.

Okay, we move
on Wednesday.

Colonel, could you use
another man for cover?

I mean, just in case?

You can ride shotgun
with me if you like.

Well, thanks.

Don't thank me,
it's your life.

Spend it any
way you like.

Ow!

You stepped on my foot.

I'm sorry, Captain.

You tub of lard.

Arrest that man!

Bring him
to my office.

You dare lay a hand
on a soldier of Third Reich?

He stepped
on my foot.

I lost control.

Now you're an officer and you're
not supposed to lose control.

I am an officer
and I never lose control.

It is against
the rules of this camp

and the Geneva
Prisoner of War Convention,

for any prisoner
to attack a German soldier.

I didn't attack, sir.

What are you doing?

Standing at
attention, sir.

You are?

Yes.

I wonder
if I might stand at ease?

Yes.

Stand at ease.

Colonel, I realize
that what I did

was a serious breach
of discipline.

I hope the fact
that I have just arrived here

will influence
your judgment.

Yes.

( clears throat )

Now, uh, here
is my judgment.

It is a serious breach
of discipline, as you say.

But at least you're not
defending your action.

Far from it,
Colonel.

Now, under ordinary
circumstances,

your offense would warrant
at least one week in the cooler.

Yes, sir, I realize that.

But because of your attitude,

I shall let you off
with just a warning this time.

Thank you, sir.

KLINK:
However,

in the future.

if there is a repetition,
the punishment will be doubled.

I understand, sir,
and I appreciate that.

Dismissed.

Boy, he really
buttered Klink up.

The only way to handle him
in a case like that.

That captain's
a smart guy.

Yeah.

Smart enough
to beat the rap.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Almost too smart for a new man.

Yes, Major Hochstetter.

He obviously created a situation
so he could talk to me alone.

So he wrote me this note.

"I am Captain Siphord.

"Gestapo on special assignment,

"writing so prisoners
in outer office cannot hear.

Call Major H."

That's you, Major Hochstetter.

What?

You're welcome, sir.

"Tell him he must be here
Wednesday, urgent.

Signed, Siphord."

What is this all about, Major?

None of my business?

You plant one of your spies
in my camp,

and it's none of my business?

Oh, well,
I just thought I'd ask.

We need something
from Klink's office.

Well, tomorrow
is cleaning day.

Make it today.

Get me a list of recent
transfers out of camp.

Can you get it?

Oui, Colonel.

I know where
it's kept. But why?

Just curious,
that's all.

But, uh, get it
for sure, huh?

Oui, for sure.

Colonel?

What happens
if they have a roll call

while we're
on the mission?

We'll start a fire
in Barracks Three as a diversion.

That'll give us cover
until we get back.

That's a good idea.

Is there anything
I can do in the meantime?

Oh, just go back
to the barracks and rest awhile.

Right.

Okay, fellas.

I got news for you.

Our friend Captain Martin
is a phony.

Oh, you're kidding?

Worse than a phony,
he's probably a Kraut.

But London checked
him out, sir.

We did as well.

Not enough.

I had a feeling
about this guy

from the very
beginning.

What'd he do,
Colonel?

Nothing yet,

except the greatest
acting job in the war.

He's an agent.

Either a German

or one of our
boys gone bad.

( whistles )
Wow.

You know that
list of transfers

out of camp you
got for me?

Yeah?
There was a sergeant

from the 395th
Bomb Squadron.

That's Martin's outfit.
Right.

Transfer the sergeant
so he can't blow the whistle.

And another thing--
would Klink let him off

without punishment
for pushing Schultz?

Not a chance.
Yeah.

And another
little detail...

What, there's more?

I walked past one
of Hochstetter's watch dogs.

He stared at me.

The Gestapo
never salute an enemy officer.

Then Martin
walked by.

He came to attention,

saluting one of his
own... by habit.

He knows
about the train job, sir.

And everything else.

Do we scrub it?

Nope, but our friend
Herr Captain,

won't be riding
shotgun with us.

You're crazy, Colonel.

Sure.
CARTER: All done here, sir.

I wouldn't try to get loose
if I were you.

All right, Carter.

See, the more you struggle,

the tighter they get.

You see, I-I took
a course in ropes and knots.

Carter...

Where's Captain Martin?

The real Captain Martin?

Colonel, I told you,
I am Captain Martin.

They're going to ask you
the same question

when you get to England.

Martin must be dead
or captured, Colonel.

And you took his place.

I don't know what
you're talking about.

All right, they'll
find out in London.

And if he's been captured,

he'd better be alive,
for your sake.

Keep him on ice, huh?

Let's go.

LeBeau, we'll take him
out with us

when we do the train job.

Oui, Colonel.

Tell Baker to notify
the underground.

They'll have to hide him
until he can be moved to London.

Right.
And, uh... we need part of his uniform scorched,

as though he's been caught
in a fire, an explosion.

I'll take care
of it, Colonel. Good.

( engine rumbling )

(crickets chirping)

♪ ♪

Yes, Major, I shall send
for him at once.

Klink, on what excuse?

If the other prisoners
get suspicious

of my Captain Martin,
I could lose him this quickly.

But he may not know
that you are here.

I am sure
he has been watching.

He will get away
when he can.

All I can do is wait.

Major Hochstetter,
the next time

you plant an undercover agent
in Stalag 13,

I wish you would
let me know.

Ja, next time.

After all, I'm only
the commandant here.

This you can
say again.

I could be very upset
about this

if we both weren't working
for the same cause.

Same cause?

I am trying
to win the war.

What are you doing?

Here he comes.

Okay.

Oh, hi, Schultz.

You wanted
to see me, Colonel?

No. Oh, I think
Captain Martin wanted to see you.

I think he wants
to apologize

for pushing
you, you know?

Aw, that's very nice.

Colonel Hogan,
Captain Martin isn't here.

That's funny; he
was in there a little while ago.

Nobody's allowed to leave
the barracks at night,

and he should know that!

You seen him?

No. Have you seen him?

No. Have you
seen him?

No. Have you seen him?

No. Have you seen him?

No. Please!

I am the one who found out
that he was missing.

Missing?

Jawohl, Major.

I went to the barracks
to make a spot check

to be sure that the prisoners
are on their toes.

He was gone.

Search the camp at once.

Schultz has
already done that, sir.

He is nowhere
to be found.

Impossible.

He seemed so happy here.

I don't understand.

Why would
Captain Si...?

Why would Captain
Martin escape?

How could he do this to me?

I knew he was unreliable
the moment he pushed me.

( train whistle blowing )

What? When did
this happen?

Ja. Ja, I will be there
as soon as possible.

A munitions train
sabotaged...

not ten miles from here.

My goodness.

It's terrible.

Completely
destroyed?

Completely.

And a hundred yards
of important track torn up.

And possibly my career
destroyed, too.

What a shame.

( yells )

He forgot to say
"Heil Hitler" again.

Imagine, Hochstetter ruined...
and a whole train blown up.

Well, Commandant,
try to look at the bright side.

I mean...

at least it hasn't
been a wasted evening.

Found it on the track.

Then he was there.

Ja. Captain Siphord
must have discovered

the sabotage plan
and left the camp

to try to arrest
the criminals.

And he was caught
in the explosion.

Ja, a hero...
but too eager.

Maybe he wanted credit

for capturing those saboteurs
on his own.

An interesting idea.

I will mention
that to Berlin.

Oh, Klink, we are
in the same boat now.

I did not catch
my saboteurs,

and you have your
first escape.

Ha! That does not bother me.

He was not officially
a prisoner.

Then why is
your monocle sweating?

Major.

You wanted to see
me, Commandant?

Yes, Hogan.

Unfortunately, we've had
our first escape

from Stalag 13.

Oh... let me offer
my deepest sympathy.

Save it for yourself.

I'm holding
you responsible, Hogan,

and as punishment,
all electricity

will be turned off,
and all rations

will be cut in half.

Can't really
blame you, sir.

It does spoil your
perfect record.

Fortunately, officially,

I do not consider this
an escape.

Well, I will have
to report it to the Red Cross.

That does not concern me.

And it'll get
to Berlin, sir.

Maybe I was a little hasty
about the electricity.

A little hasty about
the rations, too.

All right, all electricity
and rations to be restored.

Colonel, your secret's
safe with me.

Hogan!

If there ever is an escape,
I hope it's you.

Colonel, I'd never spoil
your record.

Dismissed.

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