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1
00:00:13,096 --> 00:00:17,768
( theme song playing )
2
00:00:47,839 --> 00:00:50,342
HOGAN:
Look, Willy, you're asking us to do the impossible.
3
00:00:50,384 --> 00:00:53,303
WILLY:
I know, Colonel, but these radios must be delivered
4
00:00:53,345 --> 00:00:55,472
to the underground
in France immediately.
5
00:00:55,472 --> 00:00:57,516
They are essential
for the invasion.
6
00:00:57,557 --> 00:01:00,102
NEWKIRK:
If anyone expects us to get through,
7
00:01:00,143 --> 00:01:01,561
they've got to be barmy.
8
00:01:01,603 --> 00:01:04,064
KINCH:
Couldn't the radios be parachuted in?
9
00:01:04,106 --> 00:01:05,107
WILLY:
Too dangerous.
10
00:01:05,148 --> 00:01:06,483
If they fell into German hands,
11
00:01:06,525 --> 00:01:08,568
they might suspect
the invasion is imminent.
12
00:01:08,610 --> 00:01:11,488
HOGAN:
Well, if you can't get to France through the roadblocks,
13
00:01:11,488 --> 00:01:13,115
I don't know how we can.
14
00:01:13,156 --> 00:01:15,325
WILLY:
Shh! I hear footsteps.
15
00:01:16,535 --> 00:01:17,828
( Hogan screams )
16
00:01:21,164 --> 00:01:23,667
Colonel Hogan,
I didn't know you were in there.
17
00:01:23,667 --> 00:01:25,877
Come on, Hans.
18
00:01:25,919 --> 00:01:27,504
You've broken up
more meetings
19
00:01:27,546 --> 00:01:28,672
with that pitchfork.
20
00:01:28,672 --> 00:01:30,340
We'll put you in
for a purple heart, sir.
21
00:01:30,382 --> 00:01:31,800
Thanks a lot.
22
00:01:31,842 --> 00:01:33,969
You know, we really ought
to have these rendezvous
23
00:01:34,011 --> 00:01:35,012
out in the open.
24
00:01:35,053 --> 00:01:36,138
It'd be a lot safer.
25
00:01:39,057 --> 00:01:40,684
Here are the five radios.
26
00:01:40,726 --> 00:01:41,935
Why don't you keep them
at the farm
27
00:01:41,977 --> 00:01:43,520
until we figure out
how to get them to France?
28
00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:45,856
But if the Boche should find us
with them, we'd all be shot.
29
00:01:45,897 --> 00:01:47,190
They find us with the radios,
30
00:01:47,190 --> 00:01:49,192
I don't think we'll get
a hug and a kiss either.
31
00:01:49,234 --> 00:01:51,236
I am sorry, Colonel,
I have no right
32
00:01:51,278 --> 00:01:53,864
to ask you to undertake
such a dangerous mission.
33
00:01:53,864 --> 00:01:55,282
Nah, nah,
we'll deliver them.
34
00:01:55,323 --> 00:01:57,200
But if the guards
in your prison camp
35
00:01:57,200 --> 00:01:58,869
should find out
about these radios,
36
00:01:58,869 --> 00:02:00,287
how would you explain it?
37
00:02:00,328 --> 00:02:01,455
Tell them we were desperate.
38
00:02:01,496 --> 00:02:04,374
How long can you go without
the music of Guy Lombardo?
39
00:02:19,598 --> 00:02:21,892
You are going
to throw a card, aren't you, Carter?
40
00:02:21,892 --> 00:02:23,310
I'm thinking.
41
00:02:23,351 --> 00:02:24,770
That's your
big mistake.
42
00:02:27,105 --> 00:02:28,482
Oh, I see what's wrong.
43
00:02:28,523 --> 00:02:29,608
The mixed deal?
44
00:02:29,649 --> 00:02:31,026
No, I've got gin rummy.
45
00:02:31,067 --> 00:02:32,611
I don't know
why I play cards with amateurs.
46
00:02:32,652 --> 00:02:33,653
I don't, really.
47
00:02:33,695 --> 00:02:34,779
HOGAN:
All right, fellas,
48
00:02:34,821 --> 00:02:35,822
let me have
your attention.
49
00:02:35,864 --> 00:02:36,990
I think I've got an idea.
50
00:02:37,032 --> 00:02:38,408
KINCH:
About the radios, Colonel?
51
00:02:38,408 --> 00:02:39,910
Yeah, there's
only one answer.
52
00:02:39,951 --> 00:02:42,162
Somebody's got to deliver them
across the French border.
53
00:02:42,204 --> 00:02:43,747
What time do you want
me to leave, Colonel?
54
00:02:43,788 --> 00:02:44,956
I knew I could
count on you, LeBeau,
55
00:02:44,998 --> 00:02:46,082
but I don't want you
to go alone.
56
00:02:46,124 --> 00:02:47,501
I'll go
with him.
57
00:02:47,542 --> 00:02:48,793
Always glad to
travel with a man on a winning streak.
58
00:02:48,835 --> 00:02:49,961
Wait a minute,
wait a minute.
59
00:02:50,003 --> 00:02:52,172
Colonel, you can't send
Carter to France.
60
00:02:52,214 --> 00:02:54,049
He doesn't even know
the language.
61
00:02:54,090 --> 00:02:55,675
Who doesn't know
the language?
62
00:02:55,717 --> 00:02:57,928
Merci, s'il vous plaît
and "ooh-la-la."
63
00:02:57,928 --> 00:03:00,096
What happened to "Mademoiselle
from Armentières"?
64
00:03:00,138 --> 00:03:01,306
Parlez-vous.
65
00:03:01,348 --> 00:03:02,599
All right, all right,
hold it.
66
00:03:02,599 --> 00:03:03,934
He doesn't have
to know French
67
00:03:03,934 --> 00:03:05,060
when he's got LeBeau
with him.
68
00:03:05,101 --> 00:03:06,269
Right.
69
00:03:06,311 --> 00:03:07,771
What if they should
get separated?
70
00:03:07,812 --> 00:03:09,356
Why should they
get separated?
71
00:03:09,397 --> 00:03:11,024
I'll tell you why.
72
00:03:11,066 --> 00:03:12,651
The minute they get
across the border,
73
00:03:12,692 --> 00:03:14,861
LeBeau here's going to find
a little sidewalk café,
74
00:03:14,903 --> 00:03:16,613
order a bottle of wine
just to celebrate.
75
00:03:16,613 --> 00:03:18,031
He's going to start
feeling good,
76
00:03:18,073 --> 00:03:19,407
he's going to order
another one.
77
00:03:19,449 --> 00:03:20,617
Suddenly that
little waitress,
78
00:03:20,659 --> 00:03:22,327
the plump one,
starts to look beautiful.
79
00:03:22,369 --> 00:03:23,578
He goes off with her,
80
00:03:23,620 --> 00:03:25,288
leaving Carter here
to have to pay the check
81
00:03:25,330 --> 00:03:26,456
and not knowing
the language.
82
00:03:26,498 --> 00:03:28,583
That's a terrible thing
to say, Newkirk!
83
00:03:28,625 --> 00:03:31,211
Take my word, before I go off
with the waitress,
84
00:03:31,253 --> 00:03:32,295
I'll pay the check.
85
00:03:32,295 --> 00:03:34,047
Oh, you're all French.
86
00:03:34,089 --> 00:03:36,967
All right, I think it's best
that Carter go with him.
87
00:03:36,967 --> 00:03:38,510
Hey, LeBeau, when
we get to France,
88
00:03:38,551 --> 00:03:39,970
I'd like to see
the Eiffel Tower
89
00:03:39,970 --> 00:03:41,554
and the Louvre and
the Folies Bergères,
90
00:03:41,596 --> 00:03:43,306
but not necessarily
in that order.
91
00:03:45,225 --> 00:03:46,643
SCHULTZ:
Oh, Colonel Hogan.
92
00:03:46,685 --> 00:03:47,811
LeBEAU:
Oh, Schultz again.
93
00:03:47,852 --> 00:03:48,895
KINCH:
I guess
94
00:03:48,937 --> 00:03:50,438
our "Do Not Disturb"
sign fell down.
95
00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:52,232
Schultz, you really
should knock.
96
00:03:52,274 --> 00:03:54,734
If there's anything I hate,
it's a pushy guard.
97
00:03:54,776 --> 00:03:55,902
SCHULTZ:
"Pushy guard."
98
00:03:55,944 --> 00:03:58,113
There will be roll call
in ten minutes!
99
00:03:58,154 --> 00:03:59,155
What for?
100
00:03:59,155 --> 00:04:00,532
We had a roll call
this morning.
101
00:04:00,573 --> 00:04:05,036
Commandant Klink ordered
roll call every two hours,
102
00:04:05,078 --> 00:04:08,331
barracks inspection
three times a day
103
00:04:08,373 --> 00:04:11,167
and lights out at exactly 9:00.
104
00:04:11,209 --> 00:04:12,544
( prisoners complaining )
105
00:04:12,585 --> 00:04:14,504
All right, Schultz,
you got your laugh for today,
106
00:04:14,546 --> 00:04:15,797
you can leave now.
107
00:04:15,839 --> 00:04:18,091
And they say
the Krauts got no sense of humor.
108
00:04:18,133 --> 00:04:20,802
( chuckling )
109
00:04:20,844 --> 00:04:26,099
The commandant is not joking.
110
00:04:26,141 --> 00:04:27,142
Hey, uh, Schultz,-
111
00:04:27,183 --> 00:04:28,601
Klink strike out
with the barmaid
112
00:04:28,643 --> 00:04:29,644
at the beer hall again?
113
00:04:29,686 --> 00:04:30,937
The barmaid?
114
00:04:30,979 --> 00:04:32,605
Yeah, every time
she slaps him in the face,
115
00:04:32,647 --> 00:04:33,606
he takes it out on us.
116
00:04:33,648 --> 00:04:34,566
He sure does.
117
00:04:34,607 --> 00:04:35,692
You can say
that again, mate.
118
00:04:35,692 --> 00:04:37,694
I assure you,
the commandant
119
00:04:37,736 --> 00:04:40,655
must have given the
subject some thought,
120
00:04:40,697 --> 00:04:43,616
and he must have
very good reason for it.
121
00:04:43,658 --> 00:04:46,286
After all, he comes
from a long line
122
00:04:46,327 --> 00:04:48,329
of outstanding
military men,
123
00:04:48,371 --> 00:04:52,083
brilliant officers,
very intelligent,
124
00:04:52,125 --> 00:04:55,003
clever and...
very necessary.
125
00:04:55,045 --> 00:04:57,881
( sighs )
126
00:04:57,881 --> 00:04:59,549
On the other hand...
127
00:04:59,591 --> 00:05:01,176
it could be the barmaid.
128
00:05:02,552 --> 00:05:03,845
You think there
might have been a leak
129
00:05:03,887 --> 00:05:04,596
about the
radios, Colonel?
130
00:05:04,637 --> 00:05:06,055
Yeah, I'm afraid so.
131
00:05:06,055 --> 00:05:08,641
I'm going to find out
how much Klink knows.
132
00:05:08,683 --> 00:05:09,601
Scratch the mission, huh?
133
00:05:11,060 --> 00:05:12,562
Boy, there goes
my trip to France.
134
00:05:12,604 --> 00:05:14,189
We'll make it up
to you, Carter.
135
00:05:14,230 --> 00:05:15,774
We'll all have
a glass of wine,
136
00:05:15,815 --> 00:05:18,026
I'll get LeBeau here
to sing the "Marseillaise,"
137
00:05:18,067 --> 00:05:19,903
and we'll spray
the room with garlic.
138
00:05:19,944 --> 00:05:21,488
Yes, those are
exactly my orders.
139
00:05:21,529 --> 00:05:23,782
Send out all available dogs
and double the guard.
140
00:05:23,823 --> 00:05:26,659
Hogan, Schultz gave you
your orders. Dismissed.
141
00:05:26,701 --> 00:05:27,994
Look, if you're going
to make this place
142
00:05:28,036 --> 00:05:29,746
into a Prisoner-of-War
camp, we're leaving.
143
00:05:29,788 --> 00:05:31,289
I am in no mood
for small talk.
144
00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:33,458
Just because you strike
out with the barmaid
145
00:05:33,500 --> 00:05:35,210
is no reason to
take it out on us.
146
00:05:35,251 --> 00:05:38,922
Hogan, I do not believe that
the Geneva Convention demands
147
00:05:38,963 --> 00:05:41,424
that I discuss
my social life with you.
148
00:05:41,466 --> 00:05:43,551
No, but we'd like to know
why the roll calls,
149
00:05:43,593 --> 00:05:45,470
the inspections
and the lights-out jazz.
150
00:05:45,512 --> 00:05:46,971
Because we're having
a visit
151
00:05:47,013 --> 00:05:49,474
from Count Rudolf
von Heffernick, an SS general
152
00:05:49,516 --> 00:05:51,810
who was one of Hitler's
closest advisers.
153
00:05:51,851 --> 00:05:54,103
Well, the first thing
he ought to advise Hitler
154
00:05:54,187 --> 00:05:56,022
is to shave off
that hokey moustache.
155
00:05:56,064 --> 00:05:59,484
And another thing, Hogan--
during von Heffernick's visit,
156
00:05:59,526 --> 00:06:01,361
if you or any
of the prisoners
157
00:06:01,402 --> 00:06:02,946
show any insubordination,
158
00:06:02,987 --> 00:06:04,280
it's straight
into the cooler.
159
00:06:04,322 --> 00:06:06,282
Don't worry, we'll see
that the count puts in
160
00:06:06,324 --> 00:06:07,659
a good word with
Adolf for you.
161
00:06:07,700 --> 00:06:10,954
Hogan, my promotion to general
has long been overdue.
162
00:06:10,995 --> 00:06:13,998
Imagine-- they promoted
Kleinschmidt in Stalag Nine
163
00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:15,500
and he's had 12 escapes.
164
00:06:15,625 --> 00:06:16,876
Kleinschmidt?!
165
00:06:16,918 --> 00:06:19,462
He's not fit
to polish your head.
166
00:06:19,462 --> 00:06:21,214
Dismissed.
167
00:06:34,269 --> 00:06:35,353
All set?
168
00:06:35,395 --> 00:06:36,604
Ready, Colonel.
169
00:06:36,646 --> 00:06:38,064
All right, now remember,
make it look good.
170
00:06:38,106 --> 00:06:39,691
Schultz has got to believe
you're escaping.
171
00:06:39,732 --> 00:06:40,817
You can depend
on me, Colonel.
172
00:06:40,858 --> 00:06:41,818
Go ahead.
173
00:06:41,859 --> 00:06:42,569
Good luck.
174
00:06:48,491 --> 00:06:49,701
( snoring softly )
175
00:06:54,122 --> 00:06:57,709
( snoring )
176
00:06:59,669 --> 00:07:00,336
Psst.
177
00:07:00,336 --> 00:07:01,337
Psst!
178
00:07:01,379 --> 00:07:02,839
Schultz.
179
00:07:02,839 --> 00:07:04,465
Escape.
180
00:07:04,507 --> 00:07:05,258
Escape!
181
00:07:10,013 --> 00:07:11,389
Wolfgang.
182
00:07:11,431 --> 00:07:12,515
Wake up.
183
00:07:12,515 --> 00:07:14,350
Wake up.
( whining )
184
00:07:16,311 --> 00:07:19,230
( whining softly )
185
00:07:19,272 --> 00:07:21,649
Don't lick my face;
lick his face.
186
00:07:22,859 --> 00:07:24,652
( whining )
187
00:07:27,780 --> 00:07:30,783
Bertha... stop.
188
00:07:30,825 --> 00:07:31,868
( smacking lips )
189
00:07:31,868 --> 00:07:32,869
Wolfgang-- speak.
190
00:07:32,869 --> 00:07:34,203
Speak!
191
00:07:34,245 --> 00:07:35,580
( barking )
192
00:07:35,621 --> 00:07:36,998
Speak, Wolfgang, speak.
193
00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:37,999
( barking )
194
00:07:38,041 --> 00:07:39,417
GUARD:
Was ist denn los?
195
00:07:40,501 --> 00:07:41,711
I surrender, Schultz!
196
00:07:41,711 --> 00:07:43,713
I said, I surrender,
Schultz!
197
00:07:43,796 --> 00:07:45,715
( sighing )
198
00:07:45,757 --> 00:07:47,050
Aah! Help, somebody!
199
00:07:47,050 --> 00:07:48,384
Somebody kicked me!
200
00:07:48,384 --> 00:07:50,428
Did you see who it was?
201
00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:51,596
Don't shoot,
Schultz!
202
00:07:51,637 --> 00:07:52,638
Don't shoot!
203
00:07:52,722 --> 00:07:54,390
Good work,
Schultz.
204
00:07:54,432 --> 00:07:55,641
Ah...!
205
00:07:55,683 --> 00:07:56,726
Ho, ho... ooh!
206
00:07:56,726 --> 00:07:58,352
Ah, you thought
you... you...
207
00:07:58,394 --> 00:08:00,104
you could escape,
LeBeau, huh?
208
00:08:00,146 --> 00:08:01,731
I should have known
better, Schultz.
209
00:08:01,731 --> 00:08:02,940
You're always on your toes.
210
00:08:02,982 --> 00:08:06,069
What's going on here?
211
00:08:06,069 --> 00:08:07,528
I was trying
to escape, sir,
212
00:08:07,570 --> 00:08:09,739
but Sergeant Schultz
alertly captured me.
213
00:08:09,739 --> 00:08:12,075
That's exactly
what happened, Herr Kommandant.
214
00:08:12,075 --> 00:08:13,618
This will cost you
30 days in the cooler.
215
00:08:13,659 --> 00:08:14,994
30 days?!
216
00:08:15,036 --> 00:08:15,953
Oh, là, vousexagérez, alors!
217
00:08:15,995 --> 00:08:17,747
I think you're
getting off lucky.
218
00:08:17,747 --> 00:08:19,999
Hogan, I don't need any
confirmation from you.
219
00:08:20,041 --> 00:08:21,000
Take him away!
220
00:08:21,042 --> 00:08:22,168
Jawohl,Herr Kommandant.
221
00:08:22,210 --> 00:08:23,211
Let's go.
222
00:08:25,254 --> 00:08:26,672
I'm sorry
this happened, Colonel.
223
00:08:26,714 --> 00:08:27,757
But I want to thank you
224
00:08:27,799 --> 00:08:29,425
for giving him
such a light sentence.
225
00:08:29,425 --> 00:08:31,302
30 days in the cooler
is a light sentence?
226
00:08:31,344 --> 00:08:33,221
Well, you could have
thrown the book at him
227
00:08:33,262 --> 00:08:35,306
and had him transferred
to a prison in France.
228
00:08:35,348 --> 00:08:37,266
Why would I send LeBeau
to a French prison?
229
00:08:37,308 --> 00:08:38,476
Ah, you're right.
230
00:08:38,559 --> 00:08:40,061
No sense rubbing it in
to LeBeau.
231
00:08:40,102 --> 00:08:41,729
I mean, sending him
to a prison
232
00:08:41,771 --> 00:08:44,732
where he could look
through the barbed wire at his beloved homeland.
233
00:08:44,774 --> 00:08:46,442
Nobody deserves
that kind of punishment.
234
00:08:46,442 --> 00:08:47,443
Good night.
235
00:08:47,443 --> 00:08:49,278
Hogan, wait!
236
00:08:49,320 --> 00:08:50,321
Tomorrow,
Corporal LeBeau
237
00:08:50,363 --> 00:08:52,031
will be transferred
to Stalag Four,
238
00:08:52,073 --> 00:08:53,658
which is 40 miles
outside of Paris.
239
00:08:53,699 --> 00:08:54,534
Oh, come on, Colonel!
240
00:08:54,575 --> 00:08:55,493
Hogan!
241
00:08:55,535 --> 00:08:57,620
Dismissed.
242
00:09:00,289 --> 00:09:01,582
SCHULTZ:
All right, everybody!
243
00:09:01,624 --> 00:09:02,625
All right, all right!
244
00:09:02,625 --> 00:09:03,960
Fall in!
245
00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:05,294
Fall in, mach schnell,
246
00:09:05,336 --> 00:09:07,588
schnell, schnell,schnell, schnell!
247
00:09:07,630 --> 00:09:08,798
SCHULTZ:
All right, all right!
248
00:09:08,798 --> 00:09:10,007
Roll call, roll call!
249
00:09:10,049 --> 00:09:12,009
What did you find out
about LeBeau's transfer?
250
00:09:12,051 --> 00:09:14,554
He's being shipped out
this afternoon, sir,
251
00:09:14,595 --> 00:09:15,972
at 4:00
in truck 279.
252
00:09:16,013 --> 00:09:18,266
Yeah, there's only
one guard on duty at the motor pool.
253
00:09:18,307 --> 00:09:20,309
I'm sure we can stick
the radios under the truck.
254
00:09:20,351 --> 00:09:22,728
I contacted the French
underground, alerted them.
255
00:09:22,770 --> 00:09:24,647
All right,
I'll find out the exact route
256
00:09:24,689 --> 00:09:26,148
the truck's taking
from Hilda.
257
00:09:26,148 --> 00:09:27,400
SCHULTZ:
Attention!
258
00:09:30,111 --> 00:09:33,823
Now a few words
from our commandant.
259
00:09:35,032 --> 00:09:36,826
Last night,
Corporal LeBeau
260
00:09:36,867 --> 00:09:39,829
was foolhardy enough
to attempt an escape.
261
00:09:39,829 --> 00:09:43,583
As you can see,
it failed.
262
00:09:43,624 --> 00:09:45,710
And do you know
why it failed?
263
00:09:45,751 --> 00:09:49,463
Because of the fast,
alert thinking of Sergeant Schultz.
264
00:09:49,505 --> 00:09:50,965
Silence, Dummkopf.
265
00:09:51,007 --> 00:09:55,177
It was because I run
an escape-proof prison camp.
266
00:09:55,219 --> 00:09:59,098
Now, it is evident
that Corporal LeBeau
267
00:09:59,140 --> 00:10:02,476
does not like it here
at Stalag 13,
268
00:10:02,518 --> 00:10:09,108
so I have ordered him
to be transferred to Stalag Four.
269
00:10:09,150 --> 00:10:11,902
Colonel Klink, you do not
mean Stalag Four.
270
00:10:11,944 --> 00:10:13,154
I don't?
271
00:10:13,195 --> 00:10:15,281
Stalag Four is in France.
272
00:10:15,323 --> 00:10:17,533
No one in their right mind
would return
273
00:10:17,575 --> 00:10:20,161
a French prisoner of war
to his own country,
274
00:10:20,202 --> 00:10:22,371
which would encourage
further escapes,
275
00:10:22,371 --> 00:10:23,873
where he knows
the language
276
00:10:23,914 --> 00:10:26,876
and could expect
every cooperation from the people.
277
00:10:26,917 --> 00:10:27,877
Did I say Stalag Four?
278
00:10:27,877 --> 00:10:28,878
No.
279
00:10:28,919 --> 00:10:32,131
I mean Stalag 14--
Colditz!
280
00:10:32,173 --> 00:10:34,008
VON HEFFERNICK:
That makes more sense.
281
00:10:34,050 --> 00:10:36,385
KLINK:
Dismissed!
282
00:10:40,097 --> 00:10:41,891
Let's hear from you,
Colonel...
283
00:10:41,932 --> 00:10:44,310
even if it's only
another brilliant plan
284
00:10:44,352 --> 00:10:45,895
on how to get me
to France.
285
00:10:55,071 --> 00:10:57,073
To tell you the truth,
Count von Heffernick,
286
00:10:57,073 --> 00:10:59,075
my saying that
I was sending LeBeau
287
00:10:59,075 --> 00:11:00,993
to a prison camp
in France
288
00:11:01,035 --> 00:11:02,912
was not just
a slip of the tongue.
289
00:11:02,912 --> 00:11:04,371
It was not?
290
00:11:04,413 --> 00:11:06,749
KLINK ( over transmitter ):
Oh, no, no, no.
291
00:11:06,791 --> 00:11:08,375
I wanted to get his hopes up
292
00:11:08,417 --> 00:11:10,503
and then throw cold water
in his face.
293
00:11:10,544 --> 00:11:12,671
Ah, it's so much fun
to be cruel.
294
00:11:12,713 --> 00:11:15,007
Can you believe him?
295
00:11:15,049 --> 00:11:17,426
KINCH:
Any news on what route they're sending LeBeau?
296
00:11:17,468 --> 00:11:19,345
No, Klink's still
doing a cop-out
297
00:11:19,386 --> 00:11:20,805
for Count
von Heffernick.
298
00:11:20,846 --> 00:11:21,972
We've got
to find a way
299
00:11:22,014 --> 00:11:23,891
to keep LeBeau
from going to Colditz.
300
00:11:23,933 --> 00:11:24,934
We owe it
to him.
301
00:11:24,934 --> 00:11:26,018
Yes, you
certainly do.
302
00:11:26,060 --> 00:11:27,186
Hey, hold it, hold it.
303
00:11:27,228 --> 00:11:29,355
The conversation's
getting a bit spicy now.
304
00:11:29,396 --> 00:11:31,857
VON HEFFERNICK:
You don't have to play games with me.
305
00:11:31,899 --> 00:11:33,984
I know all about you
and Marlene Schneider.
306
00:11:34,026 --> 00:11:35,486
Believe me,
Count von Heffernick,
307
00:11:35,528 --> 00:11:38,322
Marlene and I were
just good friends.
308
00:11:38,364 --> 00:11:40,116
You were sweethearts.
309
00:11:40,116 --> 00:11:41,617
Oh... oh... no, no, no.
310
00:11:41,659 --> 00:11:44,161
This happened
many years ago.
311
00:11:44,203 --> 00:11:45,579
We were just children.
312
00:11:45,621 --> 00:11:46,789
It was puppy love.
313
00:11:46,789 --> 00:11:47,832
Puppy love?
314
00:11:47,873 --> 00:11:49,959
Marlene says you
were quite a dog.
315
00:11:49,959 --> 00:11:51,752
Believe me,
Count von Heffernick...
316
00:11:51,794 --> 00:11:54,296
I invited Marlene
here for a very special reason.
317
00:11:54,338 --> 00:11:55,297
What was that?
318
00:11:55,297 --> 00:11:57,216
I wanted to find out
for myself
319
00:11:57,258 --> 00:11:59,718
if there was still
anything between you.
320
00:11:59,760 --> 00:12:01,470
If not, we will be married
321
00:12:01,512 --> 00:12:03,556
and spend our honeymoon
in Paris.
322
00:12:03,597 --> 00:12:06,267
Oh, I can assure you,
Count von Heffernick,
323
00:12:06,308 --> 00:12:09,562
that Marlene does not
still carry the torch for me.
324
00:12:09,603 --> 00:12:13,232
If she does, you
would be very wise to borrow that torch.
325
00:12:13,274 --> 00:12:16,151
It would come in
very useful to you...
326
00:12:16,193 --> 00:12:18,362
on the Russian front!
327
00:12:24,910 --> 00:12:25,786
How about that?
328
00:12:25,828 --> 00:12:26,912
Casanova Klink.
329
00:12:26,996 --> 00:12:28,038
I can't believe it.
330
00:12:28,080 --> 00:12:29,874
Who'd be carrying
a torch for Klink?
331
00:12:29,915 --> 00:12:32,751
He said Marlene Schneider,
not Marlene Dietrich.
332
00:12:32,793 --> 00:12:34,670
Gentlemen, we've
got work to do.
333
00:12:34,670 --> 00:12:36,088
What, Colonel?
334
00:12:36,130 --> 00:12:38,215
We've got to make sure
that the count and Marlene
335
00:12:38,257 --> 00:12:39,675
make that honeymoon trip
to Paris.
336
00:12:39,717 --> 00:12:41,760
Well, why do
we have to play Cupid?
337
00:12:41,802 --> 00:12:44,013
Because we have the perfect
wedding gift for them.
338
00:12:44,054 --> 00:12:45,347
What's that?
339
00:12:45,347 --> 00:12:48,058
Five shortwave
radios.
340
00:12:53,606 --> 00:12:54,857
( humming to himself )
341
00:12:54,898 --> 00:12:56,191
( knock at door )
342
00:12:56,233 --> 00:12:57,484
Oh.
343
00:12:57,526 --> 00:12:59,695
Can I come in,
or you two want to be alone?
344
00:12:59,695 --> 00:13:02,156
Please, Hogan, I'm tired
of your warped sense of humor.
345
00:13:02,197 --> 00:13:04,450
Well, I just
wanted to discuss the LeBeau situation.
346
00:13:04,491 --> 00:13:07,202
I've got my own problems.
347
00:13:07,202 --> 00:13:09,580
How could a man
like you have problems?
348
00:13:09,622 --> 00:13:11,040
The idol
of the guards,
349
00:13:11,081 --> 00:13:12,875
tops in the prison
camp game,
350
00:13:12,875 --> 00:13:14,752
a man women
find irresistible.
351
00:13:14,793 --> 00:13:17,087
Hogan, don't say that.
352
00:13:19,006 --> 00:13:21,300
Since when is being
irresistible a problem?
353
00:13:21,342 --> 00:13:23,469
Because Marlene Schneider,
my old flame,
354
00:13:23,510 --> 00:13:24,720
is coming to this camp.
355
00:13:24,762 --> 00:13:26,639
Well, why should that
be a problem?
356
00:13:26,680 --> 00:13:28,223
She is Count
von Heffernick's fiancée.
357
00:13:28,265 --> 00:13:30,059
Oh.
358
00:13:30,100 --> 00:13:31,894
Well, don't worry
about it, Commandant.
359
00:13:31,894 --> 00:13:33,228
Maybe she's
gotten over you.
360
00:13:33,270 --> 00:13:34,521
They never do.
361
00:13:34,563 --> 00:13:36,398
Besides that,
he's very jealous.
362
00:13:36,398 --> 00:13:39,401
If he thinks that Marlene
still is in love with me,
363
00:13:39,443 --> 00:13:41,320
that is the end
of my promotion.
364
00:13:41,362 --> 00:13:45,407
After all, she...
she is still engaged to the count.
365
00:13:45,407 --> 00:13:48,994
Well, maybe she'll
be able to control her feelings.
366
00:13:49,036 --> 00:13:50,579
Control her feelings?
367
00:13:50,621 --> 00:13:52,581
The woman is not made
of stone.
368
00:13:54,041 --> 00:13:56,668
Yeah. I wish I could
help you, Commandant,
369
00:13:56,710 --> 00:13:58,420
but I'm afraid I...
370
00:13:58,462 --> 00:13:59,463
Wait a minute.
371
00:13:59,505 --> 00:14:00,506
I got an idea.
372
00:14:00,547 --> 00:14:01,757
What is it, Hogan?
What? What?
373
00:14:01,757 --> 00:14:03,425
First, we're going
to have to make a deal.
374
00:14:03,425 --> 00:14:04,760
Make a deal?
375
00:14:04,802 --> 00:14:06,762
Do you realize I could be sent
to the Russian front?
376
00:14:06,762 --> 00:14:10,140
I'll be glad to save you
from the Russian front
377
00:14:10,182 --> 00:14:12,434
if you save LeBeau
from Colditz.
378
00:14:13,685 --> 00:14:15,646
You're not going
to blackmail me, Hogan.
379
00:14:15,687 --> 00:14:16,939
All right.
380
00:14:16,939 --> 00:14:19,149
But it's going to be
a little embarrassing
381
00:14:19,191 --> 00:14:21,443
when Marlene Schneider
takes a look at you
382
00:14:21,485 --> 00:14:24,655
and suddenly starts
ripping the swastikas off your uniform.
383
00:14:24,696 --> 00:14:26,198
All right,
all right, Hogan.
384
00:14:26,240 --> 00:14:27,074
LeBeau stays.
385
00:14:27,116 --> 00:14:28,283
Good.
386
00:14:28,283 --> 00:14:29,451
What about Marlene?
387
00:14:29,451 --> 00:14:32,079
Well, the first thing
we've got to do is destroy
388
00:14:32,121 --> 00:14:35,207
that image of the
handsome, dashing pilot she still has.
389
00:14:35,249 --> 00:14:36,792
That's impossible.
390
00:14:36,834 --> 00:14:39,503
I'm more handsome and dashing
now than I ever was.
391
00:14:39,545 --> 00:14:41,755
Yeah, well, it's going
to be difficult.
392
00:14:41,797 --> 00:14:43,841
You don't seem
to understand, Hogan,
393
00:14:43,882 --> 00:14:47,261
but the men in the Klink
family age gracefully.
394
00:14:47,302 --> 00:14:51,098
As we grow older, we become
more attractive to women.
395
00:14:51,140 --> 00:14:54,476
Only last week,
my 90-year-old grandfather
396
00:14:54,518 --> 00:14:58,438
was grabbed in the park
by three Hitler Youth girls.
397
00:14:59,982 --> 00:15:01,233
You do have
a problem,
398
00:15:01,275 --> 00:15:04,236
but I think I know
a way we can throw some cold water
399
00:15:04,278 --> 00:15:04,945
on that old flame.
400
00:15:07,698 --> 00:15:09,658
Oh, my feet
are killing me!
401
00:15:09,658 --> 00:15:10,826
I'm so tired!
402
00:15:10,868 --> 00:15:12,619
Why don't you come in
and sit down?
403
00:15:12,661 --> 00:15:13,787
Oh, danke!
404
00:15:13,829 --> 00:15:16,123
I'll stand guard
for a while.
405
00:15:16,164 --> 00:15:17,958
You are so considerate.
406
00:15:19,001 --> 00:15:19,960
Jolly joker!
407
00:15:20,002 --> 00:15:20,961
All right,
Schultz.
408
00:15:21,003 --> 00:15:21,962
How's it going, LeBeau?
409
00:15:22,004 --> 00:15:23,422
It's a terrible place
to visit,
410
00:15:23,463 --> 00:15:24,840
but I would hate
to live here.
411
00:15:24,840 --> 00:15:26,842
All right, let him out,
Schultz, he's free.
412
00:15:26,925 --> 00:15:27,885
Oh, just like that.
413
00:15:27,926 --> 00:15:29,136
Let him out,
Colonel, huh?
414
00:15:29,177 --> 00:15:30,220
You heard him.
Come on.
415
00:15:30,262 --> 00:15:31,972
You think this
is a forgery?
416
00:15:32,014 --> 00:15:33,098
Oh, you admit it?
417
00:15:33,140 --> 00:15:34,850
I knew I couldn't
trust you.
418
00:15:34,892 --> 00:15:37,436
The commandant just signed it
a little while ago.
419
00:15:37,477 --> 00:15:38,812
I don't trust him,
either.
420
00:15:38,854 --> 00:15:40,689
Schultz, be sensible,
use your head.
421
00:15:40,731 --> 00:15:43,650
In our army, it's
against the regulations.
422
00:15:43,692 --> 00:15:46,069
I'll break down that door,
so help me!
423
00:15:46,111 --> 00:15:47,321
Easy, LeBeau, easy.
424
00:15:47,362 --> 00:15:48,739
If you break
the door down,
425
00:15:48,780 --> 00:15:50,365
you are going
to pay for it.
426
00:15:50,365 --> 00:15:52,451
Look, Schultz, we can
settle this very easily.
427
00:15:52,492 --> 00:15:53,911
Get the commandant
on the phone,
428
00:15:53,952 --> 00:15:56,371
ask him if he signed
these orders.
429
00:15:56,455 --> 00:15:57,456
Marvelous idea.
430
00:15:57,497 --> 00:15:59,333
No wonder
you're an officer.
431
00:15:59,374 --> 00:16:00,667
All right,
give me the keys.
432
00:16:00,709 --> 00:16:02,961
Now, wait a minute.
433
00:16:03,003 --> 00:16:05,213
First I have to look
at the orders.
434
00:16:05,213 --> 00:16:07,716
You're not alone
in this war, you know?
435
00:16:07,758 --> 00:16:11,053
( sighs )
436
00:16:11,094 --> 00:16:15,390
Schultz, open this cell
or no more strudel for you.
437
00:16:15,432 --> 00:16:17,351
Be nice to him, Schultz,
he's a big tipper.
438
00:16:18,810 --> 00:16:21,897
Would you like
to taste it?
439
00:16:21,938 --> 00:16:24,524
I don't like
this signature.
440
00:16:24,566 --> 00:16:28,070
There is something
phony about it.
441
00:16:28,070 --> 00:16:28,904
Go call.
442
00:16:30,864 --> 00:16:31,865
I think I will.
443
00:16:39,289 --> 00:16:40,874
Give me
the commandant.
444
00:16:42,209 --> 00:16:45,128
SCHULTZ:
Herr Kommandant, this is Sergeant Schultz
445
00:16:45,170 --> 00:16:46,588
speaking from
the cooler.
446
00:16:46,588 --> 00:16:47,631
I'm on guard here.
447
00:16:47,673 --> 00:16:48,590
Herr Kommandant...
448
00:16:48,590 --> 00:16:49,925
Danke.
449
00:16:49,925 --> 00:16:52,427
Herr Kommandant,
a few minutes ago
450
00:16:52,469 --> 00:16:54,888
Colonel Hogan came
with the orders
451
00:16:54,930 --> 00:16:57,808
for the release
of the prisoner LeBeau.
452
00:16:57,849 --> 00:17:03,355
I did not like your signature
on the release.
453
00:17:03,397 --> 00:17:05,315
( chuckling ):
Oh, please.
454
00:17:05,357 --> 00:17:07,275
Herr Kommandant,
it's nothing personal,
455
00:17:07,317 --> 00:17:10,821
but I raised the question:
456
00:17:10,862 --> 00:17:15,784
Is this your signature
on the release of the prisoner
457
00:17:15,784 --> 00:17:17,035
or is it not?
458
00:17:17,077 --> 00:17:21,415
Very clever of me, huh?
459
00:17:21,456 --> 00:17:22,958
Hmm?
460
00:17:22,958 --> 00:17:30,048
Well, I could be a Dummkopf
and clever at the same time,
461
00:17:30,090 --> 00:17:32,801
couldn't I, Herr Kommandant?
462
00:17:40,642 --> 00:17:41,977
Colonel Klink, I believe
463
00:17:41,977 --> 00:17:44,062
your friend
Marlene Schneider's coming.
464
00:17:44,104 --> 00:17:45,772
KLINK:
Thank you, Fräulein Hilda.
465
00:17:50,402 --> 00:17:52,654
( typewriter keys clacking )
466
00:17:52,696 --> 00:17:54,447
Oh, may I help you?
467
00:17:54,489 --> 00:17:55,907
Is Colonel Klink busy?
468
00:17:55,949 --> 00:17:57,659
Who should I say
is calling?
469
00:17:57,701 --> 00:17:58,869
Marlene Schneider.
470
00:17:58,910 --> 00:17:59,870
I'll announce you.
471
00:17:59,911 --> 00:18:00,871
Oh, don't bother.
472
00:18:00,912 --> 00:18:02,706
I'd rather surprise him.
473
00:18:09,629 --> 00:18:11,173
Willy?
474
00:18:14,176 --> 00:18:15,427
Marlene!
475
00:18:15,468 --> 00:18:17,179
Sweetheart!
476
00:18:17,220 --> 00:18:20,849
How wonderful to see you again.
477
00:18:20,849 --> 00:18:22,684
( bottle clanking )
478
00:18:25,437 --> 00:18:28,481
I'm still the same
passionate lover, huh?
479
00:18:28,523 --> 00:18:31,193
I've never seen this
side of you before.
480
00:18:33,028 --> 00:18:34,946
It's the war.
481
00:18:34,988 --> 00:18:37,282
Who knows, Marlene?
482
00:18:37,324 --> 00:18:40,827
Today we live, tomorrow we die.
483
00:18:40,869 --> 00:18:42,370
In a prison camp?
484
00:18:42,412 --> 00:18:46,207
You're safer here
than if you were a civilian in Berlin.
485
00:18:48,084 --> 00:18:49,878
Have a drink,
Marlene!
486
00:18:49,920 --> 00:18:51,421
No, thank you, Willy.
487
00:18:51,463 --> 00:18:53,715
To our reunion.
488
00:18:53,757 --> 00:18:55,383
Really, Willy.
489
00:18:55,383 --> 00:18:56,718
Excuse me, Colonel Klink,
490
00:18:56,760 --> 00:18:58,720
but I have some forms
for you to fill out...
491
00:19:00,388 --> 00:19:01,389
in duplicate.
492
00:19:01,431 --> 00:19:03,725
All right, Klink,
knock it off!
493
00:19:03,725 --> 00:19:05,560
Hogan, I'm still
running this camp!
494
00:19:05,560 --> 00:19:07,062
And doing a lousy
job of it.
495
00:19:07,062 --> 00:19:09,064
Fräulein Hilda,
get some black coffee.
496
00:19:09,064 --> 00:19:10,732
I'll try to sober
him up again.
497
00:19:10,774 --> 00:19:12,067
You mean he's
this way often?
498
00:19:12,108 --> 00:19:13,860
Only Mondays,
Wednesdays and Fridays.
499
00:19:13,902 --> 00:19:15,528
The other days,
he's sleeping it off.
500
00:19:15,570 --> 00:19:16,905
Hilda, never mind
the coffee!
501
00:19:16,905 --> 00:19:17,906
Have a drink.
502
00:19:17,948 --> 00:19:18,949
No, thanks,
Colonel.
503
00:19:18,990 --> 00:19:20,408
One of us has
to stay sober.
504
00:19:20,450 --> 00:19:23,078
I've never heard of
a prisoner of war camp like this.
505
00:19:23,119 --> 00:19:24,204
Yeah, neither
have we.
506
00:19:24,245 --> 00:19:26,539
Around here,
punishment is not getting white wine
507
00:19:26,581 --> 00:19:28,416
with the fish.
Oh, thank you, Fräulein Hilda.
508
00:19:28,416 --> 00:19:29,626
Ah!
509
00:19:29,668 --> 00:19:31,419
No, come on, Klink!
Just the black coffee.
510
00:19:31,419 --> 00:19:33,129
Hmm.
511
00:19:33,171 --> 00:19:34,214
Oi!
512
00:19:34,255 --> 00:19:35,840
Is this Count von
Heffernick's car?
513
00:19:35,882 --> 00:19:37,175
Ja.
514
00:19:37,217 --> 00:19:38,385
NEWKIRK:
Oh, good, we were told
515
00:19:38,426 --> 00:19:39,469
to come and work on it.
516
00:19:39,511 --> 00:19:41,262
DRIVER:
There is nothing for you to work on.
517
00:19:41,304 --> 00:19:43,056
I have put this car
in perfect condition.
518
00:19:43,098 --> 00:19:44,265
KINCH:
Is that so?
519
00:19:44,307 --> 00:19:46,101
I don't think the count
will be very happy
520
00:19:46,101 --> 00:19:48,269
when he see where you scraped
the paint off the door.
521
00:19:48,269 --> 00:19:49,396
What's that?
522
00:19:49,437 --> 00:19:50,939
Oh, dear,
oh, dear.
523
00:19:52,941 --> 00:19:54,401
I did not do that.
524
00:19:54,442 --> 00:19:56,444
I don't think the count's
going to believe you, mate.
525
00:19:56,486 --> 00:19:59,406
Fortunately, my friend
Carter here is a body and paint man.
526
00:19:59,447 --> 00:20:01,449
I could fix this up
in about a half hour.
527
00:20:01,491 --> 00:20:03,034
Good. Why don't you go
and keep guard
528
00:20:03,076 --> 00:20:05,078
and let us know when
the count's coming, right?
529
00:20:05,120 --> 00:20:06,454
Ja. Ja.
530
00:20:06,454 --> 00:20:07,747
Off you go, then.
531
00:20:12,127 --> 00:20:14,629
That's why you Americans
are losing the war.
532
00:20:14,671 --> 00:20:16,714
You drink coffee;
we drink schnapps.
533
00:20:16,756 --> 00:20:19,134
I think you've had
enough schnapps, Willy.
534
00:20:19,175 --> 00:20:21,845
Marlene Schneider!
535
00:20:21,886 --> 00:20:24,722
When did you arrive?
536
00:20:27,183 --> 00:20:30,353
Colonel Hogan,
did you get that old souse sober?
537
00:20:30,395 --> 00:20:32,605
Who's an old souse?
538
00:20:32,647 --> 00:20:35,650
You are,
you old souse.
539
00:20:35,692 --> 00:20:37,861
I will not tolerate
any disrespect!
540
00:20:37,902 --> 00:20:40,155
Throw yourself
into the guardhouse.
541
00:20:40,155 --> 00:20:45,702
I would, Willy, if there would
be someone there to guard me.
542
00:20:45,743 --> 00:20:47,412
More desertion,
Schultz?
543
00:20:47,454 --> 00:20:52,000
11 more guards this morning.
544
00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:54,711
11 of my men deserted me?
545
00:20:54,752 --> 00:20:57,130
But don't worry,
Klink.
546
00:20:57,172 --> 00:20:59,841
11 prisoners
went with them.
547
00:21:02,552 --> 00:21:06,181
Oh, you absolutely
disgust me.
548
00:21:08,433 --> 00:21:11,519
I always suspected you were a
coward and I knew you were vain,
549
00:21:11,561 --> 00:21:14,689
but... but I never thought
you'd come to this.
550
00:21:14,689 --> 00:21:17,984
You certainly
know how to hurt a person, Marlene.
551
00:21:21,237 --> 00:21:23,364
Watch it, will you?
552
00:21:23,406 --> 00:21:24,449
Give me another minute.
553
00:21:26,034 --> 00:21:27,869
Well, how
much longer?
554
00:21:27,869 --> 00:21:29,454
Aw, do me a favor.
555
00:21:29,495 --> 00:21:32,207
I thought you were supposed
to be looking for the count.
556
00:21:32,207 --> 00:21:33,208
DRIVER:
Well, well...
557
00:21:33,249 --> 00:21:34,834
We try to do you people a favor.
558
00:21:34,876 --> 00:21:36,044
I do not
understand it.
559
00:21:37,754 --> 00:21:39,047
All set.
560
00:21:40,173 --> 00:21:41,633
NEWKIRK:
Have a look at this, Otto.
561
00:21:41,674 --> 00:21:42,717
You all through with it?
562
00:21:42,717 --> 00:21:43,927
Yeah.
563
00:21:43,968 --> 00:21:46,054
Now, what do you think
of that, then?
564
00:21:46,054 --> 00:21:47,388
Oh, that's wunderbar.
565
00:21:47,430 --> 00:21:48,431
Danke schön.
566
00:21:48,473 --> 00:21:49,891
Oh, anytime, mate,
anytime.
567
00:21:49,933 --> 00:21:50,767
Danke vielmals.
568
00:21:50,808 --> 00:21:51,935
Pleasure.
569
00:21:51,976 --> 00:21:53,186
NEWKIRK:
Come on, Carter.
570
00:21:53,228 --> 00:21:54,729
He just called me
a fieldmouse.
571
00:21:54,771 --> 00:21:56,898
NEWKIRK:
Oh, no, it's a term of endearment.
572
00:21:56,940 --> 00:21:59,067
Please, Marlene,
don't leave me.
573
00:21:59,067 --> 00:22:01,069
I never want
to see you again.
574
00:22:01,110 --> 00:22:02,362
Klink.
575
00:22:02,403 --> 00:22:04,238
Oh, Liebchen!
576
00:22:04,280 --> 00:22:06,115
Take me out of here
as quickly as possible.
577
00:22:06,157 --> 00:22:08,242
I have arranged all that;
we will leave tomorrow.
578
00:22:08,284 --> 00:22:09,452
Couldn't we
leave tonight?
579
00:22:09,494 --> 00:22:11,913
You wouldn't want to leave
on your wedding night, hmm?
580
00:22:11,913 --> 00:22:13,790
( gasps ):
Wedding night?!
581
00:22:13,831 --> 00:22:15,458
Who is she marrying?
582
00:22:15,500 --> 00:22:16,417
Me.
583
00:22:16,459 --> 00:22:18,419
Oh, darling!
584
00:22:18,461 --> 00:22:20,797
Why, I must go and
telephone my mother
585
00:22:20,838 --> 00:22:21,798
and tell her
the good news.
586
00:22:21,923 --> 00:22:22,924
Natürlich.
587
00:22:24,258 --> 00:22:29,263
Well, Klink, I'm quite
sure that Marlene will forget you now,
588
00:22:29,263 --> 00:22:32,517
but I assure you,
I shall remember you...
589
00:22:32,558 --> 00:22:33,768
always.
590
00:22:33,768 --> 00:22:35,436
KLINK:
Thank you, Count von Heffernick.
591
00:22:38,898 --> 00:22:41,609
Well, we'd better get used
to calling you "General."
592
00:22:41,651 --> 00:22:42,735
Thank you.
593
00:22:42,777 --> 00:22:44,362
Congratulations, Willy.
594
00:22:44,404 --> 00:22:45,363
"Willy"?!
595
00:22:45,405 --> 00:22:47,365
N-N-No, I mean
"Commandant Willy."
596
00:22:47,407 --> 00:22:48,908
I mean
C-C-C-Commandant Klink.
597
00:22:58,960 --> 00:23:02,630
Well, congratulations,
Countess von Heffernick.
598
00:23:02,630 --> 00:23:04,006
Your plan worked
beautifully.
599
00:23:04,048 --> 00:23:05,091
What plan?
600
00:23:05,133 --> 00:23:07,635
Baiting the count with memories
of "Hot Lips" Klink.
601
00:23:07,677 --> 00:23:09,470
You're very perceptive.
602
00:23:09,512 --> 00:23:10,888
Just out of curiosity,
603
00:23:10,930 --> 00:23:13,808
did Klink ever get past
a handshake with you?
604
00:23:13,850 --> 00:23:15,476
Well, as a matter of fact,
605
00:23:15,518 --> 00:23:18,020
today was the first time
he ever kissed me.
606
00:23:19,605 --> 00:23:20,648
Congratulations, Count.
607
00:23:20,648 --> 00:23:21,899
Have a nice trip to Paris.
608
00:23:21,941 --> 00:23:22,942
Danke.
609
00:23:30,324 --> 00:23:31,909
Did you notify
the French underground
610
00:23:31,951 --> 00:23:32,952
the radios are on the way?
611
00:23:32,994 --> 00:23:34,495
Yep.
612
00:23:34,495 --> 00:23:36,581
How will they be able
to spot the car?
613
00:23:36,622 --> 00:23:37,832
They won't have
any trouble.
614
00:23:48,301 --> 00:23:50,428
I know some people
might think it cruel
615
00:23:50,470 --> 00:23:51,971
to destroy
a woman's memory,
616
00:23:52,013 --> 00:23:54,432
but in the long run,
Marlene is better off.
617
00:23:54,474 --> 00:23:56,017
The count is
a very fine man.
618
00:23:56,100 --> 00:23:58,352
He has recommended me
for promotion to general.
619
00:23:58,352 --> 00:23:59,353
Oh, congratulations.
620
00:23:59,353 --> 00:24:00,354
Oh, wonderful.
621
00:24:00,354 --> 00:24:01,481
Colonel,
the gate called.
622
00:24:01,522 --> 00:24:02,857
The general's car's
coming in.
623
00:24:02,899 --> 00:24:04,817
That means Marlene
and the count are back.
624
00:24:04,859 --> 00:24:06,152
Hilda, come back
here, quick.
625
00:24:08,196 --> 00:24:09,530
All right, Klink,
cut that out!
626
00:24:09,572 --> 00:24:11,365
You're setting
a bad example for my men!
627
00:24:11,407 --> 00:24:13,159
You heard what he said!
628
00:24:13,201 --> 00:24:15,453
Willy, this is
a military post
629
00:24:15,495 --> 00:24:16,662
and not a Hofbräu!
630
00:24:20,374 --> 00:24:21,834
Klink!
631
00:24:21,876 --> 00:24:23,628
Oh, General Burkhalter.
632
00:24:23,669 --> 00:24:25,630
I did not expect you here.
633
00:24:25,671 --> 00:24:26,964
I'm sure of that.
634
00:24:27,006 --> 00:24:29,759
I just ran into
Count von Heffernick.
635
00:24:29,800 --> 00:24:30,885
Oh.
636
00:24:30,927 --> 00:24:32,553
He gave me this note,
637
00:24:32,595 --> 00:24:35,223
recommending you
for a promotion.
638
00:24:35,223 --> 00:24:37,892
It's very nice of you
to bring this to me personally.
639
00:24:37,934 --> 00:24:38,851
Not at all.
640
00:24:38,893 --> 00:24:39,810
Uh, no.
641
00:24:39,852 --> 00:24:40,770
Here.
642
00:24:40,811 --> 00:24:42,647
Oh.
643
00:24:42,688 --> 00:24:43,648
Read it.
644
00:24:43,689 --> 00:24:44,607
( grunts )
645
00:24:44,657 --> 00:24:49,207
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