All language subtitles for Hogans Heroes s04e11 Bad Day in Berlin.eng

( theme song playing )

So, these are your chickens,
eh, Colonel?

Yes, Major,
my chickens.

Look more like pigs to me.

( grumbling )

Your uniform is filthy.

Do me a favor.
Drop dead.

How dare you!

Hold it! Hold it!

Be as nasty as you like,
but don't touch.

Colonel Hogan!

I'll remember
you, Fritz.

Well, the prisoner threatens me.

I'd like to talk
with this man alone.

Of course,
Major Temple.

This way, please.

Mm-hmm, very nice.

All the comforts
of home

if you live
in a garbage pail.

And I suppose you have
all sorts of activities

to keep yourself occupied.

Mostly basket weaving
and clay modeling.

Oh, you play cards.

Mm-hmm.

Poker, by any chance?

Yeah, we play poker.

A cloud passes
over the sun.

Casting shadows
on the Earth below.

Robert J. Morrison,
Milwaukee.

A major in German
Intelligence?

We can't talk now, Hogan.

Klink asked me
to stay for dinner.

Can you arrange something?

Yeah, as soon as
I get over the shock

of an American
in German uniform.

It's a crazy war.

Your life insurance premiums
must be murder.

Great food, excellent.

You do yourself
very well here, Colonel.

Thank you.

I always say
there is no sense

acting as if
there is a war on

just because there
is a war on.

A very practical
philosophy.

At the risk
of sounding immodest,

I do drop a few gems
once in a while.

( phone ringing )

Hello?

Yeah, this is Stalag 13.

Aben.

This is General Clemens.

I want to talk
to Colonel Klink immediately.

General Clemens?!

Heil Hitler.

This is Stalag 13.

Oh, I said it already.

Kommandant is in his quarters.

I can have that call
transferred immediately.

Nein.

You will call him
to his office at once.

This is official business.

Top secret. I will wait.

Jawohl, Herr General.

I will have the Kommandant
here at once if not sooner.

I said have the call
transferred here.

I suggested it,
Herr Kommandant,

but he wants to talk to you
in your office.

Official business,

top secret.

These generals--

just because they wear
a little extra braid

on their sleeves. Huh!

My time will come.

Someday, I will
wear the braid.

Yes, Herr Kommandant.

Maybe after the war.

Oh, shut up.

Major,

would you care
for a little more wine?

I'll be back in
just a few minutes.

Thank you, sir.

I'll be waiting
right here.

Come on, Schultz.

Schultz,
why do they always call

in the middle
of a perfectly lovely dinner?

All afternoon,
I had nothing to do.

Why? Why?

Well, Herr Kommandant...

Oh, who asked you?

He'll be busy for
at least ten minutes.

Very nicely arranged.

Did you know that your colonel
expects to be a general?

In these times, it's the dream
of every German boy and girl.

We can become president,
they can become generals.

You might even make it.

How long you been
in the Kraut army?

Ten years.

Started back home.

I was ordered to join
the German-American Bund.

The next order was a beauty.

I had to give up my citizenship
so the Germans would take me.

Ordered to become a traitor.

Right. Now let's get
down to business.

We've got to talk fast.

You know Robin Hood?

Yeah, he's one of our control
agents in London headquarters.

We get our orders from him
by radio.

You won't anymore.

He's come back to Germany.

Back to Germany?

I don't follow.

It's easy-- he's a Kraut.

Come on.

Real name: Decker.

German-American, like myself.

Deep agent planted years ago.

OSS got a line on him,
he found out and took off.

He could sell us out like that.

He's got more secrets
than General Marshall.

He's got to know half the
undercover network in Europe--

names, places, dates, codes.

Everybody's got to hole up.

We are holed up.

We're in a POW
camp, remember?

The Gestapo wants us,

all they have to do
is shake the tree

and we fall out dead.

Not if we get
to Decker first.

We know where he is--
Hotel Berlin.

The brass in London
want him back,

still breathing.

You're kidding?

They want to know
who his contacts are in England.

Then he stands trial
for espionage.

300, maybe 400 people
could be executed

and they want to play,
"Information, please"?

Those are the orders.

Return him to England
before he starts talking.

Now, right now, he's waiting
for General Schellenberg,

Gestapo, to return to Berlin
from the eastern front.

Well, good luck.

With Decker on the
loose, I'm going to make out my will.

Say, you couldn't
use a six-year-old motorcycle, could you?

It's in the
garage back home.

The tires
aren't too bad.

Hogan, you've had experience
with this kind of a job.

Decker has never seen you,
and you're not known in Berlin.

They expect us
to go to Berlin

and grab a German agent
out of the hotel?

Your life is on the line, too.

You'll be among the first.

How are we supposed
to get there,

ask Klink for a weekend pass?

The Abwehr-- my outfit--
we have orders

to keep interrogating
prisoners of war.

So, I take you and your men
to Berlin for questioning.

And Klink
comes along, too.

Who needs him?

Regulation.

A Luftwaffe officer
must be present

at all interrogation.

Now, time is a factor.

We'll leave
early in the morning.

All right.

Oh, and, Morrison,

you sure you don't want
my motorcycle?

Next prisoner to be questioned,
Herr Major.

Louis LeBeau, Corporal.

Captured near Chalon.

Oh, beautiful town.

And the girls.

Well, there
was one girl...

Silence, Corporal!

I'm not interested
in your experiences.

You haven't heard them yet,
Herr Kommandant.

Six weeks ago, you received
a letter from a woman in Paris.

A, uh, Yvette Blanchard.

You've been reading my mail.

Pretty good, huh, monsieur?

The Geneva convention permits us

to censor the letters
of prisoners.

Oh, we would do it
even without that.

I know.

I don't get to read anything.

Schultz!

Now, Madam Blanchard says here,

among other
very interesting things,

"Hope to see you soon."

What does that phrase mean?

Oh, that's code

for "Hitler's mother
wears army shoes."

Insolence!

Does that woman Blanchard
have any information

with regards to an invasion?

Answer the question!

What does it mean?!

( speaking French )

( continues speaking French )

Well, at least
we're getting somewhere.

What did he say?

I'm afraid I don't speak French.

I was hoping, perhaps,
that you may, Herr Colonel.

Oh, well,
just for social purposes.

I really don't speak it.

Do you, Sergeant?

Yes, Herr Major.

I tried it once.

I got my face slapped.

He has enough trouble
with German.

What's the difference?

I wouldn't answer
the question anyway.

Schultz, take him back
to his cell.

Jawohl, Herr Kommandant.

About face.

Forward march.

One, two, three, four.
One, two, three, four.

( door closes )

These French...
they're very difficult.

Yes, but I'm sure
with your expert technique,

you could get plenty
out of him.

Oh, yes, Major,
my expert technique.

We have questioned
Colonel Hogan, Sergeant Carter

and that Englishman, Newkirk.

Frankly, I'm not satisfied.

I am not either.

I was about to tell you that.

If I may suggest,
I would like to take Hogan

and Carter and Newkirk
to SS headquarters

for more intensive
interrogation.

Excellent idea, Major.

May I also suggest
that you remain here

and continue questioning
the Frenchman

and, uh, uh, Sergeant Kinchloe.

That way we will save time.

Frankly, Major,
I was hoping to see

my dear old friend
General Von Stormer

at SS headquarters.

I haven't seen him
for quite a while.

General Von Stormer
is in trouble

with the Fuhrer
at the moment.

Some suspicion
of treason.

He's not really
a close friend.

Actually,
I hardly know him.

As a matter of fact,
I don't even like him very much.

I shall stay here,

and I shall question
the other two.

Very well.

I will make the
arrangements.

All right, I won't need you.

More questions,
Major?

You already asked
my name, rank and serial number.

When we get through
with you, Colonel Hogan,

you will not be quite
so insolent.

Decker is still
at the hotel.

I hope they got
better room service than this joint.

Unfortunately,
I can't give you special privileges.

That's all right.
We're moving tomorrow.

I arranged for Carter
and Newkirk to go with us.

What about Klink?

I talked him into
staying here

and continue questioning
LeBeau and Kinchloe.

Must've done a pretty
good selling job.

He's an egomaniac
and a creep.

And you hardly know him.

What's the plan?
I'll brief you tomorrow.

I don't want
to stay here too long.

Morrison?

You got more guts than
a Philadelphia lawyer.

And why not?

I am Major Hans Temple,
Military Intelligence.

Please, don't scare me

any more than is
absolutely necessary.

( rattles door )

( horn honks )

An ambulance, Major?

We have found it
the best way

to transport prisoners
around Berlin.

Has the right of way,
and no one can see inside.

Very interesting.

I must remember that,

if we ever have an ambulance
at Stalag 13.

( horn honks )

( horn honks )

Now, there shouldn't
be any trouble

getting into
the hotel.

You're
a medical unit.

You're here
to check his room.

We shouldn't have
any trouble, but we may.

I've got trouble
right now.

I think it's
called "panic."

Not me. I'm just
plain scared.

Now once we get
into Decker's room,

we put him to sleep
immediately.

And then Newkirk
and Carter carry him out

on a stretcher
to the ambulance?

Right. Down these
back stairs.

Now, as soon as Hogan and I
join you in the ambulance,

we'll drive to the Stalag 13
truck, put Decker into it,

take him back to camp and start
him on his way to England.

Any questions?

Yeah, you said
"put him to sleep."

You got a degree
in hypnotism?

Glad you brought
that up, sir.

You know, a lot of people
resist sleep during the day.

He's a bloody genius.

Now, we'll talk to Decker
for a few minutes,

put him at ease.

And then as we leave,
I'll shake his hand.

I'll be wearing this ring.

There's a tiny needle
on the band.

When depressed, it releases
a drug, sodium thiophene.

Works almost instantly.

Puts you to sleep
for about 12 hours.

Diabolical.

Morrison, will you
do me a favor?

If we ever meet
on the street,

don't shake my hand,
just nod.

( chuckling )

Your, uh... name
is not familiar to me, Major Teppel.

You did say you are
with the Abwehr.

How did you know
I was here?

Well, the Abwehr
has its connections

to other intelligence services,
Herr Decker.

I see.

Well, what do you want?

What are they doing
in there, serving tea?

We're supposed to be calm.
We're in the medical corps.

Ah, thank you very much,
Florence Nightingale.

Ah, we were hoping
that you might spare us an hour or two.

There are
a few questions

we would like
to ask you

about the Polish
communication system.

You can understand
our curiosity.

Oh, of course.

But, uh...

you must understand
that I work for the Gestapo.

My orders are to report
to them first.

To General
Schellenberg.

Oh?

You know that, too.

In any case,
I'll need his approval.

Oh, I'm sure
he'll give you his consent.

Thank you very much,
Herr Decker.

Heil Hitler.

Heil Hitler.

( groans )

( panting )

Wha-wh-what's happening?

...five, six, seven.

Happy landing!

Let's go.

Newkirk, Carter?
Come on.

Get him on there.

Quick... here!

Watch that, Carter.
Okay.

Here we go, Okay?

Gorblimey.

I use anesthesia
all the time.

Ready? Come on.
Spread it out.

We can do that outside.

Quiet, quiet.

He's a very easy patient
to handle, sir.

No trouble at all.

All right, take him
down to the ambulance,

and put him in the
back and wait for us.

Right.
Anybody questions you,

tell them you're under
orders from Major Teppel.

I will do that, sir.
Right!

Go on, Carter.

Maps, battle plans,

a list of our
agents in Europe.

The works.

This is why we got
to get Decker.

Well, we got him.

Well, I can tell you now,
I had a little protection

set up for us.

Protection?

( horn honks )

See the car
across the street?

Two men changing a tire?

Yeah, I see it.
He's got a rifle

and a perfect shot at
the front of the hotel.

So, if we didn't get
Decker, they would.

They got orders not to miss
the man carrying this.

I like the way you
hedge your bets.

I had to be sure.

Decker must be
in the ambulance. Let's go.

This is Herr Decker's room.

It is.

Who are you?

Hans Teppel, Abwehr.

You have business
with Herr Decker?

We're friends.
I heard he was in town...

You heard... he was in town?

Well, we try to keep up
with all the latest news.

If you'll wait
a minute, I'll tell Decker you're here.

I'll tell him myself.

Hans, I thought
you'd gone.

I was on
my way out...

Herr Decker?

Captain Metzger,
Colonel Braun's aide.

Heil Hitler.

Heil Hitler.

Colonel Braun is waiting
in the lobby, sir,

to escort you
to General Schellenberg.

Very good.

Tell him I'll be down
as soon as I dress.

My orders were to accompany you.

Captain, I made it all the way
from England on my own.

As far as I can tell,

my legs are still
in working order.

Tell the Colonel I'll be down
as soon as I dress.

Jawohl.

At once.

Heil Hitler.

Hans, it's
good-bye again.

MORRISON:
Ah, yes, I'm a hard man to get rid of.

HOGAN:
Mm-hmm.

Ever seen a grown
man faint? Watch.

We got trouble.

No kidding!

He thinks I'm Decker.

You're going to have to go down
and meet Colonel Braun.

I'll get you away from him
as soon as I can.

Suppose you get tied up.

Suppose you meet
a girl or something.

You got any better ideas?

Yeah, I'm going to go up
to the roof and fly away,

and I don't need a plane.

There's no other way.

Does the general

or this Kraut colonel
know Decker by sight?

I'm not sure.

Well, that's great.

That is great!

If they know him, they
arrest me in the lobby,

hold a trial right
there and shoot me!

Or, if I'm lucky,

and I get past the
killers in the lobby,

I walk out as Decker
in his clothes

with his briefcase.

Those two beauties
working on the car

across the street have
orders not to miss.

I'm a loser either way!

I know.

I'm up the creek!

I don't have a boat,
I don't have a paddle!

I don't even have a creek!

Take it easy.
I'll take care of them.

Before they take
care of me?

Don't worry,
I'll make sure they don't fire.

Keep talking,
Morrison.

My pulse may
start again.

But I must get back

to my headquarters,
Colonel.

We will let you go as soon
as we can, Major.

Be patient.

But I'm due
at a meeting

with Admiral Keness.

He doesn't like
to be kept waiting.

I'm sure he'll understand.

Please give him my regards.

Colonel, it is Herr Decker.

Herr Decker, Colonel Braun.

A very great pleasure.

Heil Hitler.
Colonel Braun.

Uh, have we met before?

You tell me.

No, I think not.

Good.

I mean, it's
always good

meeting new friends.

Hans, what are
you doing here?

Oh, they wouldn't let me out
of the hotel.

( chuckles ):
Security.

No one in or out.

Colonel's orders.

You didn't make
contact with our friends?

How could I?

The Major is a very
impatient man.

I just remembered I left
my cigarettes upstairs.

Oh, allow me.

I-I'm expecting
a very important phone call

from a lovely
fraulein.

General Schellenberg
is waiting.

I left the
tub running?

No one keeps
General Schellenberg waiting.

Well, good-bye.

For the last time.

Ooh, I hope not.

Uh, I'll be with you

in just a moment.

Allow me.

Danke.

Uh, Herr Decker!

There is Decker.

The one with
the briefcase.

( gunshot )

Uh, the shot came
from over there.

Hurry. I'll
get a doctor.

Jawohl.

*

*

All right.

Hold it.
Okay.

Easy.

NEWKIRK:
Oh, they weigh a ton.

( grunts )

There we are.

Nice and
cozy, eh?

Yeah, a lower berth
all his own.

For Pete sakes, is he going
to ride in there

all the way back to camp?

With no change of train.

What if he wakes up?

Ask him for his ticket.

( laughs )
Out!

Okay, the luggage is all aboard.

Nice going, men.

You will keep
us in mind for any, uh,

ambulance work in
the future, sir?

Now, I'll turn you
over to Klink,

and you'll be
back in Stalag 13

tonight with your luggage.

Don't think it hasn't been fun,
because it hasn't.

I couldn't have swung
it without you.

But if you're ever back
in Berlin again...

Thanks. It's a nice place
to have a war,

but I'd hate to live here.

Good luck, Hogan.

The ring.

I never sleep
in the middle of the day.

Colonel, I made contact
with the sub.

The rendezvous' in 48 hours,
the usual place.

Right, Kinch.

Oh, and London says,
"Well done, old chap."

Makes it all
worthwhile.

I'm not there
yet, Hogan.

You will be, Decker.

You're going to travel
as a prisoner

with these two guards,
and if you try anything,

they have orders
to shoot to kill.

That's the truth.

I wrote the
orders meself.

LeBEAU:
Hey, Colonel?

Schultz is looking for you.

Klink wants you
in his office.

Doesn't he know I'm busy?

Carry on.

Major Teppel was kind enough
to send me this transcript

of the interrogation in Berlin.

Did he spell
my name right?

"Question to Colonel Hogan.

"What are the conditions
at Stalag 13?

Are you well-treated?"

"Answer by Hogan.

"Colonel Klink is
a very humane commandant

who tries
to make prison life bearable."

Hogan, did you say that?

Yes, I did, sir.
Has a nice sound to it.

How dare you undermine me
in Berlin.

Why, I thought
that's what you want...

"Humane commandant."

"Prison life bearable."

Are you trying
to destroy my career?

Do you want me
to be a colonel forever?

I'm sorry, sir.

You're not going to get away
with that, I promise.

Look, I know you're a rat,
and you know you're a rat.

Then why didn't you say so?

Well, I thought it
was our secret!

( gasps )

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