All language subtitles for Hogans Heroes s03e20 Sticky Wicket Newkirk.eng

( theme song playing )

( with German accent ):
Coming, Liebchen?

I'm here.

Ah! And so lovely.

You like me?

I'm wild for you.

And how about me?

I like everything about you,
except your accent.

You're English, no?

( giggles )

I do not mind.

A flier, perhaps, trying
to get out of Germany?

Well, I...

I was a flier, yes.

You should be
more careful, you know.

The next barmaid you pick up
may be more patriotic than I.

Oh, and you're not?

No.

It's all so stupid.

The Thousand Year Reich--
the saluting,

the cheering, the war.

Are you from Stalag 6?

Why do you ask?

Oh, it's common knowledge.

18 fliers broke out
two days ago.

Oh, I'd heard
about that, yes.

Good.

You're being
more careful now.

Admit nothing and talk
to no more strange women.

Well, one at a time's
enough, love.

To this moment.

Not yesterday,
not tomorrow.

Who knows what this
stupid war will do to us?

To the moment.

With you
all the way, love.

Um... before we get down
to more personal things,

which really can't be
too soon for me...

Yes?

you wouldn't have heard
any more about those boys

out of Stalag 6,
would you?

The other boys
or just the boys?

Call it what you will.

No, I have not.

Now can we be
more personal?

Your identity papers,
schnell.

If I don't have any?

Then you have
a choice.

Tell us who you are or be shot
as a spy without trial.

Not much
of a choice, mates.

Corporal Newkirk,

on 24 hours leave,
you might say, from Stalag 13.

Out.

We will take you
back to Stalag 13.

Wait!

Please, wait.

You, Fräulein, we will
deal with you later.

Don't take him back!

Please, do not take him back!

For the moment, love,
it was nice.

KLINK:
Welcome back, Newkirk.

Hogan, will your men
never learn

that no one escapes
from Stalag 13?

Intellectually, sir,
they know that,

but emotionally,
they still hope.

They still hope, huh?

Well, Newkirk, we'll put
an end to that hope.

Usual punishment, sir?

30 days in the cooler?

No.

This time, there
will be no punishment.

That's awfully
decent of you, sir.

Not at all.

Schultz, take him away.

SCHULTZ:
Jawohl, Herr Kommandant.

To Stalag 6.

Stalag... 6?

Six, sir?

I, uh... I trust

that's the commandant's
well-known sense of fun

coming to
the fore again.

KLINK:
Not quite, Hogan.

I'm instituting a new policy
of transfer

for any infractions
of the rules--

permanent
transfer.

In other words, Hogan,

I'm breaking up
that old gang of yours.

You wouldn't
consider 60 days in the cooler, sir?

Commandant...

the men love you, sir.

You're a father image.

Newkirk here comes
from a broken home.

He identifies
very strongly, sir.

I do, I do.

Not another word--
I've made up my mind.

Take him away.

Sir, in leaving, I'd just like
to quote something

I told me dear old dad
on a like occasion.

Yes.

You give me a ruddy,
shooting pain...

Colonel,
we got ten men

from Stalag 6
down in the tunnel.

They got through.

What about
the other eight?

Not yet, not yet.

Captain Anderson
reporting, sir.

What about the rest
of your men?

We separated, Colonel.

I'm, uh...

I'm kind of afraid
they may have been caught.

You were all headed here?

Yes, sir.

Let's just hope
nobody talks.

All right, continue on
the processing.

We want to get these guys
under way as soon as we can.

We'll do our best,
Colonel,

but we're shorthanded
without Newkirk.

Did he get
the full 30 days?

No, he got transferred
to Stalag 6.

What?

But they cannot do that.

They did it.

Well, we'll just break him
out of there,

and we'll keep him down in
the tunnel for a year or so

till they forget about him.

Hold it.

There's nothing
we can do-- nothing.

There is always
something we can do, mon colonel.

Well, at the moment,
I don't know what it is.

Newkirk picked
the wrong time to get caught.

We got a mission under way.

Schultz
and Newkirk.

All right, Anderson,
in the tunnel.

Right, sir.

Hello, mates.

Hey, Newkirk,
you're looking great.

Yeah, what a break, huh?

I mean, no 30 days
in the cooler.

You're looking
just great.

Formidable.

I'm done in, mates,
that's all.

Done in.

The prisoner has two minutes to
gather his personal belongings.

Order of the commandant.

Will you dry up?

What did I say now?

I'm sorry.

Would you mind
waiting outside?

My orders on that point
are very specific.

Under no circumstances
am I to permit...

I'll wait outside.

Colonel, no chance

that old Klink'd change
his mind, is there?

Maybe, but I wouldn't
count on it.

Well, we did have
some fun, didn't we?

Yeah.

Tough luck,
old buddy.

Thanks.

I sort of always thought
that when the Allied tanks

rolled up in front
of the gates,

we'd all be here together.

I just always thought that.

Allez! Bonne chance,
mon ami, bonne chance.

Bye-bye, Louie.

Yeah, we'll all
get together

after the war
in London, huh?

Sure, all of
us in London.

Okay, Andrew.

Colonel...

thank you
for everything.

Newkirk, there's no chance
to get you back here,

but we're not going
to let you rot in Stalag 6.

After you leave here, use this.

Take the escape route
to England, understand?

Yes, sir.

You know, sir, I
can't help worrying

about that girl
they grabbed me with.

Do you think
they're holding her?

Don't do anything
about the girl.

Head for England.

Right, sir, right.

( knock at door )

Time is up.

Well, mates,
when the going gets rough

and old Schultz here
gets hard and cruel,

just step in and win one
for old Newkirk, right?

( all agree )

Good-bye.

Take it easy now.

Take it
easy.

You transferred him?

Klink, who told you
to transfer him?

No one,
Major Hochstetter.

Just, at the time,

it seemed like
a terribly good idea.

It was a completely
idiotic idea.

The Gestapo must
question this man.

What was he doing
in Hammelburg in civilian clothes?

What, Klink?!

Well, sir...

I think I need a little bit more
time to think about that one.

I do not want you
to think about anything.

I just want you to get
the prisoner Newkirk

back here at once!

Excellent idea,
Major Hochstetter.

It'll solve the whole problem.

Get me Stalag 6,
Colonel Mühlenberger.

Herr Kommandant,
I beg to report...

Not now, Schultz.

I beg to...

Please, Schultz.

Mühlenberger...

Klink here.

Yes, about that transfer
we arranged--

the British corporal, Newkirk.

I'd like to discuss that
with you, mm-hmm.

I beg to report,
Herr Kommandant,

it will not be necessary to talk
to Colonel Mühlenberger.

Just a moment, Colonel.

Schultz, what is the matter
with you?

Don't you see that
I'm talking on the phone...

Schultz, what are you
doing here?

You were taking Newkirk
to Stalag 6.

Entirely correct, sir,
I was, but...

I didn't get there.

BOTH:
What?

Herr Kommandant,
just one mile from here,

Newkirk produced a gun--

such an enormous gun,
you have no idea!

Klink!

Your prisoners walk around
with guns?

Of course not,
Major Hochstetter.

Mühlenberger, I'll have
to call you back.

Schultz, just before
you left here,

you searched him, didn't you?

You searched him!

I think I can say almost
positively that I believe so.

Schultz!

Anything wrong, sir?

Hogan, get out of here.

I want that man
in here!

My feelings exactly,
Major Hochstetter.

Colonel Hogan,

we have crossed swords
before,

and I have had my
suspicions about you,

but now my feeling
is much stronger.

I'm glad you finally
cleared me, sir.

Not exactly.

18 men have
escaped from Stalag 6.

Eight of them
I've recaptured.

Excellent work,
Major Hochstetter,

but may I point out to you

that here at Stalag 13
we have no such problem?

Never an escape,

never so much
as, as, as, as...

until today, sir, but that was
an official transfer.

Of the eight men
I captured, one talked.

He claims they were
all heading for Stalag 13.

Would you have
any idea why?

Bad sense
of direction?

I do not think so.

Major Hochstetter,
why would escaped prisoners

be headed
for another prison camp?

That is exactly what
I intend to find out.

I shall surround this camp
with a ring of steel.

Anyone trying to get out
will be caught.

Anyone trying to get in
will be caught.

Major Hochstetter, rest assured,

you have
my complete cooperation.

I do not want your
cooperation, Klink.

All I want
from you is

to stop giving guns
to prisoners.

I will deal with
all of you... later!

Major Hochstetter,
may I point out my relationship...

( grunts )

with the Gestapo is
the most cordial... cordial.

( clanging )

Someone wants
to come up.

I gave orders
they were to stay down.

LeBEAU:
Newkirk!

I forgot me toothbrush, sir.

You couldn't live
without us, huh?

You were on your way
to England.

I am, sir.

Still am, as
a matter of fact.

Well?

Well, uh... I sort
of had an obligation to Gretel, sir.

That's the girl
who was with me

in Hammelburg when
they picked me up.

I just wanted to make
sure she was all right.

So you stopped off
in Hammelburg.

Uh... yes, sir.

She's a wonderful
girl-- Gretel.

Marvelous sort
of qualities,

if you know
what I mean.

Good, I'd like
to meet her sometime.

So what happened?

You're not just
saying that, sir?

You'd really like
to meet her?

Newkirk, what are you
trying to tell me?

Well, actually, sir,
she wanted me

to help her move to
another place, you see,

because the police were
watching her there.

Well, when we did,
the Gestapo boys got on our trail.

While I was trying
to give them the slip,

we sort of found
ourselves at the...

You want to meet
the Colonel, Gretel?

Here she is.

Look at that.

Whoo-hoo!

What a beautiful girl!

You brought her in
from the outside

all the way
through the tunnel?

Uh... yes, sir,
I did, yes.

She saw everything
we have down below?

Yes, it was
fascinating.

I never thought
it possible.

You're a great man,
Colonel Hogan--

a very great man.

Of course,
he has had help.

We can get
acquainted later.

Right now,
we've got a problem.

Hochstetter has a few hundred
Gestapo around Stalag 13,

and we've got ten prisoners
to get out.

And what will you
do then, Colonel?

I've got a plan.

Excuse me.

Oh, isn't
that clever?

NEWKIRK:
You like it?

Now... here.

This is the interior
of the compound.

That's Colonel Klink's
office there.

We're over here.

Now, the plan is this.

A company of airborne makes
a parachute drop here.

Inside the camp?

Inside the camp.

In the confusion,
the ten escapees

will come up
and join them.

And they all fight their way
through the fence here,

where they're picked up
by transport planes

that land in the field here.

Colonel,
you are joking.

I like it.

SCHULTZ ( outside ):
Open the door!

Schultz!

All right, stand back
against the wall.

Stay out of sight
as much as possible.

SCHULTZ:
Open the door!

Open the door!

I'm going to count till three.

If you don't open the door,
I'm going to break in.

One... two... three!

Who was holding
the door?

I want to know!

No one, Schultz.

It sticks
in the warm weather.

But it's
freezing outside.

It's a pleasure
to see your mind work.

No compliments,
Colonel Hogan.

I have bad trouble,

and I think
it's because of you.

Where did Newkirk
get the gun?

You will tell me
everything.

HOGAN:
Of course we will, Schultz.

Now, come over here.

Ah! No, no.

From now on, I have
only one rule.

If you ask me
to go over there, I go over here.

Right, Newkirk?

Right, Schultz.

Because it has been
my experience,

whenever you ask me
to do something,

it is much better for me...

Newkirk?

Sorry, Schultz,
tried to save you.

Save me?

( chuckles )

I've recaptured him.

Tracked him
through the snow.

Tracked him
through the snow,

under great hardship
and great danger,

till finally, finally...

Found him
in his own barracks.

How did he get
there, Schultz?

I don't know
how he get there.

I don't care
how he get there.

The most important
thing for me is...

Come here.

I leave it
up to you.

It is more
important for...

It's a girl.

Explain that, Schultz,
especially to Hochstetter.

I see nothing.

I hear nothing.

I see nothing!

Halt! Ein Moment.

Who said that?

GRETEL:
I did.

You will wait.

Why?

Because I'm going
with you

to the office
of the commandant with my report.

Come.

She was
on their side,

and you showed
her everything.

Nice going,
old buddy.

But she seemed
so sincere-like.

Everybody down in
the tunnel, sir?

No.

Oh, that's right.

First, we have to warn
those parachute troops.

There aren't
any parachute troops.

You knew she was
a spy all along, huh?

I didn't know.

That's why I had
to play it safe.

Carter, get on
a Luftwaffe uniform.

You're going to be a general.

Yes, sir.

Newkirk, get down
in the tunnel.

Right, sir.

After you get down there,

set off the explosives
that closes up this entrance,

and let's just hope the barracks
doesn't go down with it.

Right, Colonel.

After you set off
the explosives,

get the ten men
out the other end.

Hochstetter will pull
the Gestapo in the camp.

The way will be clear.

Do I go out
with them, sir?

No, you'll wait a while,

then turn yourself in
at the main gate.

Oh, great! I can talk me way out
of anything with old Klink.

Yeah, but you won't be
so lucky with us.

Get going.

Yes, sir.

Major Hochstetter,
may I assure you

that everything this woman
has reported is impossible--

completely
impossible.

Are you calling
a Gestapo informant a liar?

Why would I do
a thing like that?

Because your head is
in the noose, Klink.

You have been running
a country home for prairie dogs.

They dig while you sleep.

Wake up, Klink.

Enjoy the little time
you have left.

Major Hochstetter,
I shall...

certainly try.

With a tunnel entrance
right in his own barracks,

I would certainly think,
Major,

that this fat one over here
will have some knowledge.

Ordinarily it is true,
Herr Major,

but I have
signed certificates

from all of
my teachers that I...

Whatever you know,

I will get it
out of you later.

I want men to go with me
to that barracks.

Pick Skrobar, Schabitz
and Gunn, schnell!

Immediately,
Herr Major.

And now, Klink...

( explosion )

What was that?

The airborne attack--
it has begun.

It is nothing, Klink!

Nothing?

I thought you did not
believe our informant.

Major Hochstetter, I was
merely indicating to you

that sometimes these things
are difficult to accept.

You said impossible.

The difficult,
I believe immediately.

The impossible sometimes
takes a little longer.

Schultz,
will you get up?

It's disgraceful.

Achtung!

Uh-huh... the end of the trail,
Colonel Hogan.

How's that again,
Major?

We have come for a look
at your downstairs apartment.

You will show us the way?

You've been listening
to rumors again.

Something a little
more substantial.

Open the secret passage,
my dear.

Of course,
Major Hochstetter.

Right this way.

I saw them activate it
from a hidden panel on this bunk.

Colonel Hogan, that you were
able to operate for so long

is a tribute to the stupidity
of your beloved commandant.

Or is it complicity, Klink?

No, indeed, Major.

Stupidity.

That's entirely correct,
Herr Major.

Well?

I... I was sure it was
right here, Major.

Are you sure this is
the bunk they lift up?

Yes.

This bunk out.

Chop through the floor.

Use your axes.

It's better that way.

It has the Gestapo touch.

Quiet!

Chop!

What's going on here?

No one calls attention
for a general?

What kind of army
is this?

SCHULTZ:
Achtung!

Thank you.

And you,
Major Hochstetter,

the Gestapo is now conducting
bunk inspections?

Time is heavy
on your hands, ja?

I do not believe I know you.

It is your business
to know me.

I am Luftwaffe
General Von Siedelburg.

Ask Klink.

He knows me.

Certainly I know you,
General Siedelburg.

I am in charge
of security

of all Luftwaffe
prisoner-of-war camps.

I have been looking
for you, Hochstetter.

What are you doing here
besides inspecting bunks?

( chuckles )

I have uncovered a giant plot
in one of your camps, General.

Ten of the escapees
from Stalag 6--

the other eight of whom
I have captured--

are down below us
in a tunnel.

The prisoners here
equip them with money,

papers and clothing

and send them out
of the country.

Is that correct, Klink?

Well, I...

I've been watchfully
waiting, sir.

Good.

Show us your tunnel.

Well?

There is nothing
but dirt, Herr Major.

So?

What do you do in dirt, eh?

You dig.

Dig!

Jawohl, Herr Major.

Bunk inspection
and now gardening?

We will find the tunnel.

Do not worry.

I have stopped worrying.

( laughs, snorts )

Perhaps you should start.

The chart...

Where is the chart showing
the parachute drop?

It's right
over here, Major.

Show me.

Excuse me.

Dig!

There it is.

Aha!

Just a minute, Major.

To us, this is
almost sacred ground.

Out of the way,
Hogan.

Happy digging.

Well, Klink, how do
you explain this, huh?

What is this?

You do not know,
Major?

There was
a chart, Major.

I am sure.

Of how many things can you be
so sure that are not so?

I must defend her.

The information she has
brought us on you

has been most accurate.

What information?

Oh, mostly black market,
a little extortion,

a few more
personal matters.

No.

No, it isn't true.

I'm defending you.

Does that complete
your investigation, Major?

You will come with me
for intensive questioning.

Take her away.

And what of
the ten escapees?

The trail grows cold
while you're here

with your gardening
and looking at girlie pictures, huh?

They will be caught.

At least
you have confidence.

Klink...

Oh, yes, General, I am so glad
that the general knows now

that these rumors about
Stalag 13 are totally unfounded.

Klink, take a lesson from
what happened at Stalag 6.

Too many prisoners
transferred.

Too many prisoners
transferred.

Hmm, stirred them up.

I'm sending their commandant
to the Russian front.

Rest assured, General...

Don't shout.

It has always been my policy,
it always will be my policy--

no transfers.

Hmm.

What about Newkirk?

Forget it.

I shall keep my eye on you,
Major Hochstetter.

And I will keep
my eye on you, Hogan.

You have not heard
the last of this.

Stop digging!

Do you have anything to say

in your own defense,
Corporal Newkirk?

Yes, sir, I have.

In the first place,

even though
I've talked old Klink

into letting me back in,

I still got 30 days
in the cooler hanging over me head.

So?

In the second place,

even though
I broke security

by bringing that girl in
through the tunnel,

I plead extenuating
circumstances, as it were.

As it were what?

Ah...

Sir, I put it
to you this way.

Here I am, one of
the most knowledgeable

concerning
the female sex,

and yet I completely
misread the character

of the first female
I came in contact with.

What's
the answer?

Lack of practice.

Cooped up in this box, day after
day, with no contact whatsoever,

a man goes to seed.

What's my plea?

Don't indict me;
indict the system.

Newkirk, you made a point.

I did, sir?

You exposed a basic weakness.

From now on, rotating
weekend passes in Hammelburg.

You first, LeBeau,

then Kinch,
then Carter.

Thank you, sir.

Great.

I'm going to go
to the zoo.

Uh... sir, as it was my idea,

do you think I might get
a little something out of it?

Oh, you will, Newkirk,
you will--

the satisfaction of knowing

you're making
these men better,

well rounded,
more balanced fighting men.

Well, it's about
all a man can hope for, isn't it, Colonel?

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