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1
00:00:02,160 --> 00:00:03,330
Yeah, Bernie,
I just got the script.
2
00:00:03,660 --> 00:00:04,660
It just got to my house.
3
00:00:04,100 --> 00:00:05,100
- Ha ha!
- Alright, alright.
4
00:00:05,133 --> 00:00:06,383
Alright. Peace.
5
00:00:07,160 --> 00:00:08,100
[Shawn laughing]
6
00:00:08,133 --> 00:00:10,150
- Hey..
- Ow!
7
00:00:10,183 --> 00:00:12,366
Hey, do me a favor, man.
Help me run these lines,
please?
8
00:00:13,000 --> 00:00:14,166
They want me back on
"Everybody Loves Everybody"
9
00:00:14,200 --> 00:00:16,216
as, uh, Lucius, uh.
10
00:00:16,250 --> 00:00:19,000
Yo, hey, hey,
hey, chill,
Marlon.
11
00:00:19,330 --> 00:00:21,300
Can't you see I'm watching
TV,
man, I'm trying to watch
12
00:00:21,333 --> 00:00:24,100
"When The Pit Bulls Attack
The Elderly. Part Two."
13
00:00:24,133 --> 00:00:26,200
Ha, see, he just made a hole
in that colostomy bag.
14
00:00:28,166 --> 00:00:30,500
Come on, Shawn,
what's more important?
15
00:00:30,830 --> 00:00:31,300
This or that?
16
00:00:31,333 --> 00:00:33,233
Come on, help a brother
fulfil his dreams, man.
17
00:00:33,266 --> 00:00:35,166
Who knows? I could be on
the next "Pit Bulls Attack."
18
00:00:35,200 --> 00:00:38,100
Ah, alright, alright.
19
00:00:38,133 --> 00:00:40,300
Right, Lucius.
Let me get in character.
20
00:00:40,333 --> 00:00:42,200
Oh, yeah, brother!
21
00:00:44,366 --> 00:00:48,166
Hey, uh, Lucius, where you been
for the past few months?
22
00:00:48,200 --> 00:00:52,500
Oh, yeah, bruh, I been, uh..
23
00:00:52,830 --> 00:00:54,383
...I been..
24
00:00:55,160 --> 00:00:57,200
- Where I been?
- At the DMV.
25
00:00:57,233 --> 00:00:59,300
At the DMV, you know how long
those lines are.
26
00:00:59,333 --> 00:01:01,116
Uh, come on, man,
get me to lead in.
27
00:01:01,150 --> 00:01:04,283
Who do you think I am? Denzel?
28
00:01:04,316 --> 00:01:06,166
Eh,
okay.
At.
29
00:01:06,200 --> 00:01:07,300
"At."
30
00:01:10,150 --> 00:01:13,330
- The.
- "The."
31
00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:18,183
- DMV.
- "DMV."
32
00:01:19,283 --> 00:01:21,330
You know what,
I've had enough of
this.
33
00:01:21,660 --> 00:01:22,233
- I don't wanna do this no
more.
- You know what.
34
00:01:22,266 --> 00:01:24,166
I've had enough of this.
I don't wanna do this no more.
35
00:01:24,200 --> 00:01:25,300
I'm serious,
I'm trying to watch
this.
36
00:01:25,333 --> 00:01:26,383
I'm serious,
I'm trying to watch.
37
00:01:27,160 --> 00:01:28,266
- Will you stop?
- Will you stop?
38
00:01:28,300 --> 00:01:30,183
(both)
Leave me alone,
get outta here.
39
00:01:30,216 --> 00:01:31,300
- Stop, wha..
- Stop, wha..
40
00:01:31,333 --> 00:01:33,233
- Hey...I'm not..
- Hey...I'm not..
41
00:01:33,266 --> 00:01:35,500
- It's not funny.
- It's not funny.
42
00:01:35,830 --> 00:01:37,266
- Oh, ha, ha, ha.
- Oh, ha, ha, ha.
43
00:01:37,300 --> 00:01:39,350
- I'mma pay you back.
- I'mma pay you back.
44
00:01:42,233 --> 00:01:44,830
Thanks, stupid.
45
00:01:46,500 --> 00:01:47,350
[mimicking Lucius]
I'll see you later.
46
00:01:49,150 --> 00:01:51,150
That ain't in the script.
47
00:01:52,116 --> 00:01:54,100
[theme music]
48
00:01:55,200 --> 00:01:57,000
♪ We're brothers ♪
49
00:01:57,330 --> 00:01:58,250
♪ We're happy
and we're singing ♪
50
00:01:58,283 --> 00:02:00,500
♪ And we're colored ♪
51
00:02:01,300 --> 00:02:03,350
♪ Give me a high five ♪♪
52
00:02:03,383 --> 00:02:06,150
(male #1)
'Alright, cut and print.
Beautiful guys.'
53
00:02:06,183 --> 00:02:07,333
'Dynamite.'
54
00:02:08,366 --> 00:02:11,150
[music continues]
55
00:02:34,250 --> 00:02:36,366
[instrumental music]
56
00:02:39,183 --> 00:02:41,830
Hey, boy, I still can't believe
57
00:02:41,116 --> 00:02:42,233
they got you using the bathroom
58
00:02:42,266 --> 00:02:44,366
as your dressing room.
59
00:02:46,183 --> 00:02:48,500
No, no, it's,
it's pretty cool,
man.
60
00:02:48,830 --> 00:02:51,250
I mean as long as
you keep a window
cracked.
61
00:02:51,283 --> 00:02:53,330
Boy...I got an ulcer.
62
00:02:53,660 --> 00:02:54,133
You ain't gonna use
my dressing room, are
you?
63
00:02:54,166 --> 00:02:57,000
No, no, no.
64
00:02:57,330 --> 00:02:59,330
- Oh, man, the..
- What's wrong?
65
00:02:59,660 --> 00:03:01,330
[sighing]
The extras union
screwed up
again.
66
00:03:01,660 --> 00:03:02,116
No!
67
00:03:02,150 --> 00:03:04,166
They get 10,000 naked guys
for "Amistad"
68
00:03:04,200 --> 00:03:06,330
but can't get
me
a cashier.
69
00:03:06,660 --> 00:03:07,250
Where in the
hell
am I gonna find
70
00:03:07,283 --> 00:03:09,150
someone who can be
convincing playing a
loser
71
00:03:09,183 --> 00:03:12,660
who's stuck in
some dead-end job? Where?
72
00:03:12,100 --> 00:03:13,233
Shawn, that'd be
perfect for you.
73
00:03:13,266 --> 00:03:15,233
What?
74
00:03:15,266 --> 00:03:17,330
- Come on, you..
- Yo, hey, no.
75
00:03:17,660 --> 00:03:19,830
Hey, Marlon, chill.
I ain't no actor, man.
76
00:03:19,116 --> 00:03:20,350
Uh, uh, we're really desperate.
77
00:03:20,383 --> 00:03:22,383
Help me out here, homeboy.
78
00:03:24,366 --> 00:03:27,233
Look, I've never taken an
acting
class before in my life, okay?
79
00:03:27,266 --> 00:03:30,183
I'm not gonna play myself
on national TV, forget it.
80
00:03:30,216 --> 00:03:32,100
The pay's 90 bucks and
I'll throw in a free lunch.
81
00:03:32,133 --> 00:03:33,183
Where do I stand?
82
00:03:33,216 --> 00:03:35,250
Right over there
behind the
counter.
83
00:03:35,283 --> 00:03:37,116
[bell ringing]
84
00:03:37,150 --> 00:03:39,330
Okay, everybody,
we're gonna do this
85
00:03:39,660 --> 00:03:40,183
in about a sec and a half.
86
00:03:40,216 --> 00:03:42,166
Have a lotta fun,
lotta energy, let's go.
87
00:03:44,160 --> 00:03:46,350
In five, four, three, two..
88
00:03:48,830 --> 00:03:51,330
Hey, Vanessa,
double decaf skinny latte
89
00:03:51,660 --> 00:03:52,316
and it's on you.
90
00:03:52,350 --> 00:03:54,350
And you know that.
91
00:03:56,200 --> 00:03:58,500
Two lattes please.
92
00:04:01,333 --> 00:04:02,366
Thanks.
93
00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:05,333
Hot and steamy,
just like I like it.
94
00:04:05,366 --> 00:04:08,660
Anytime.
95
00:04:08,100 --> 00:04:09,333
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
96
00:04:09,366 --> 00:04:12,266
- Okay, cut, cut!
- Shawn, man, dammit.
97
00:04:12,300 --> 00:04:15,383
Look, you're an extra,
you're not supposed to talk.
98
00:04:16,160 --> 00:04:17,316
You're not supposed to act,
you react.
99
00:04:17,350 --> 00:04:20,183
It's not,
it's not high, it's..
100
00:04:20,216 --> 00:04:22,100
Let's do this again, okay?
101
00:04:22,133 --> 00:04:23,300
And this time you say "anytime"
102
00:04:23,333 --> 00:04:25,216
kinda, you know,
sexy it up, a
little bit.
103
00:04:25,250 --> 00:04:27,000
- Okay. Alright.
- Okay?
104
00:04:27,330 --> 00:04:28,283
And-and Vanessa's gonna
take it from your line.
105
00:04:28,316 --> 00:04:30,316
- Okay? Let's go.
- Okay, alright!
106
00:04:30,350 --> 00:04:32,350
- I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
- No, no problem, no problem.
107
00:04:32,383 --> 00:04:34,830
Just do it
again.
Be sexy.
108
00:04:34,116 --> 00:04:36,000
I still get my, I still
get my lunch and my $90?
109
00:04:36,330 --> 00:04:39,160
(Bernie)
'Lucius, you wanna get
your pants tightened?'
110
00:04:39,500 --> 00:04:41,100
Wear 'em tighter?
111
00:04:41,133 --> 00:04:44,160
In five, four..
112
00:04:44,500 --> 00:04:46,830
'three, two..'
113
00:04:46,116 --> 00:04:49,330
And you know that.
114
00:04:49,660 --> 00:04:50,383
Two lattes please!
115
00:04:54,500 --> 00:04:55,500
Thanks.
116
00:04:55,830 --> 00:04:56,166
Hot and steamy
117
00:04:56,200 --> 00:04:59,660
just the way I like it.
118
00:04:59,100 --> 00:05:00,166
Anytime.
119
00:05:05,116 --> 00:05:07,333
Hey, Lucius, where have you been
the last few months?
120
00:05:07,366 --> 00:05:09,150
Oh, you know me
121
00:05:09,183 --> 00:05:11,383
I was down at the DMV.
122
00:05:12,160 --> 00:05:15,160
That's right,
and you know how, uh..
123
00:05:15,500 --> 00:05:18,166
...long those lines are?
124
00:05:23,250 --> 00:05:24,316
Anytime.
125
00:05:26,350 --> 00:05:28,330
'Anytime.'
126
00:05:33,366 --> 00:05:38,300
Anyt-i-i-ime!
127
00:05:41,830 --> 00:05:44,830
[instrumental music]
128
00:05:47,283 --> 00:05:49,330
Hey, Marlon?
129
00:05:52,150 --> 00:05:53,216
You ain't mad
that they asked
me
130
00:05:53,250 --> 00:05:54,366
back to the-the
show,
are you?
131
00:05:55,000 --> 00:05:56,333
I mean I-I could
use
the extra money
132
00:05:56,366 --> 00:05:58,100
things are a little slow
at the newsstand.
133
00:05:58,133 --> 00:06:00,383
No, no, man, I ain't mad.
Come on, now.
134
00:06:02,266 --> 00:06:04,000
I'm happy for you, brother,
I'm always happy
135
00:06:04,330 --> 00:06:05,250
to see a brother come up,
you know.
136
00:06:05,283 --> 00:06:07,233
Guess it's.. It's a black
thing,
you know what I'm sayin'?
137
00:06:07,266 --> 00:06:09,316
I'm proud of you, man.
Do your thing.
138
00:06:10,333 --> 00:06:12,000
Congrats!
139
00:06:13,183 --> 00:06:14,283
Oh.
140
00:06:14,316 --> 00:06:17,333
By the way, you have a huge
zit on your forehead.
141
00:06:17,366 --> 00:06:20,100
Oh, my God,
it looks like this.
142
00:06:20,133 --> 00:06:21,350
Are you serious?
143
00:06:21,383 --> 00:06:23,500
It's huge, I mean
you could squeeze
144
00:06:23,830 --> 00:06:25,166
a whole lot of mayonnaise
out of that.
145
00:06:25,200 --> 00:06:27,500
- Oh, God.
- Where, where's it at?
146
00:06:27,830 --> 00:06:28,383
- And is your hairline
receding?
- My hair?
147
00:06:29,160 --> 00:06:32,166
Oh, man, it looks real thin
like Howard Hewett.
148
00:06:32,200 --> 00:06:34,500
- Where at, in the back?
- Anyway, have a good.. Yeah.
149
00:06:34,830 --> 00:06:36,183
Have a good show. All over.
Yeah, have a good show.
150
00:06:38,133 --> 00:06:40,500
We're 10 minutes long?
151
00:06:40,830 --> 00:06:43,233
Geez, we're gonna have to
seriously cut something.
152
00:06:45,250 --> 00:06:47,330
Hey, rookie,
I got some bad
news.
153
00:06:47,660 --> 00:06:48,166
Looks like they're
making
some cuts, you know.
154
00:06:48,200 --> 00:06:49,333
They're gonna some
of your stuff
155
00:06:49,366 --> 00:06:51,233
but don't worry,
that's just Hollywood,
man.
156
00:06:51,266 --> 00:06:53,500
- Don't take it personal.
- It ain't no big deal.
157
00:06:53,830 --> 00:06:54,233
- You'll be alright, son.
- I'm straight.
158
00:06:54,266 --> 00:06:56,500
Sorry 'bout this whole
loser thing, you know.
159
00:06:56,830 --> 00:06:57,266
- It's alright.
- Come here, let me comfort
you.
160
00:06:57,300 --> 00:07:00,150
Uh, Shawn, can I talk to you
for a sec over here?
161
00:07:00,183 --> 00:07:02,660
Stand tall, stand tall.
162
00:07:02,100 --> 00:07:04,000
Uh, look, Shawn,
we need to make some cuts
163
00:07:04,330 --> 00:07:05,200
and I know you're
new,
but, uh..
164
00:07:05,233 --> 00:07:07,366
You know what,
I'm fine,
Bernie.
165
00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:10,150
Um, you know,
it don't
matter.
166
00:07:10,183 --> 00:07:12,316
I understand, this is
Hollywood.
You do your thing.
167
00:07:12,350 --> 00:07:15,200
- As long as I get my check.
- Oh, hey, hey.
168
00:07:15,233 --> 00:07:16,233
We're not cutting you down
169
00:07:16,266 --> 00:07:17,266
we're gonna make
your part bigger.
170
00:07:17,300 --> 00:07:18,266
Actually, we're-we're cutting
171
00:07:18,300 --> 00:07:20,330
the whole apartment scenes out.
172
00:07:20,660 --> 00:07:22,660
Wait, hold, hold..
Hey, hold up.
173
00:07:22,100 --> 00:07:24,166
Time out, time out.
174
00:07:24,200 --> 00:07:28,166
Now the apartment scene
is my only scene, Bernie.
175
00:07:28,200 --> 00:07:30,266
Sorry, that's showbiz, babe.
176
00:07:30,300 --> 00:07:31,366
[laughing]
177
00:07:36,330 --> 00:07:37,383
[Marlon murmuring]
178
00:07:38,160 --> 00:07:40,116
Hey, hey, Marlon.
This is no big deal,
man.
179
00:07:40,150 --> 00:07:42,266
Hey, you said it
yourself,
man, it's no big deal.
180
00:07:42,300 --> 00:07:44,350
I was lying, jackass.
181
00:07:46,266 --> 00:07:48,100
I can't believe this, man.
182
00:07:48,133 --> 00:07:50,183
I'm out and you're in.
183
00:07:50,216 --> 00:07:52,216
You...back scrubber.
184
00:07:57,660 --> 00:07:59,160
I mean stabber!
185
00:08:00,350 --> 00:08:02,350
[instrumental music]
186
00:08:03,383 --> 00:08:06,330
Brother can't do nothing right.
187
00:08:11,266 --> 00:08:14,266
[instrumental music]
188
00:08:18,500 --> 00:08:19,333
It's alright, man,
it's no big deal.
189
00:08:19,366 --> 00:08:21,366
It's okay if you got cut
from that episode.
190
00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:23,350
Ain't like they cut you
from the whole series.
191
00:08:23,383 --> 00:08:26,283
Plus you'll be back next week
in time for the lab episode.
192
00:08:26,316 --> 00:08:28,166
Yeah, I guess you're right.
193
00:08:28,200 --> 00:08:29,283
And everybody's gonna
be watching that one.
194
00:08:29,316 --> 00:08:31,660
Yeah, everybody's gonna
be watching that.
195
00:08:31,100 --> 00:08:33,233
- Man, I'm trippin'.
- Told you, kid, look,
nobody..
196
00:08:33,266 --> 00:08:35,300
Look, nobody's gonna make
a big deal out of it.
197
00:08:35,333 --> 00:08:39,160
- Okay.
- Alright. Trust me.
198
00:08:39,500 --> 00:08:41,150
- Surprise!
- Surprise!
199
00:08:42,830 --> 00:08:43,200
(Pops)
'Bang!'
200
00:08:43,233 --> 00:08:45,316
Congratulation on you debut
201
00:08:45,350 --> 00:08:47,283
in show business.
202
00:08:47,316 --> 00:08:49,366
I told you
it's no big deal, ya'll.
203
00:08:50,000 --> 00:08:52,183
Now who would've thought
I had an actor for a son?
204
00:08:52,216 --> 00:08:55,233
Hold on. Hold on, negro,
I'm an actor.
205
00:08:55,266 --> 00:08:58,300
Of course, Marlon,
you call what you do acting.
206
00:08:58,333 --> 00:09:00,366
[mimicking Lucius]
Lucius.
207
00:09:02,283 --> 00:09:05,116
Yeah, we call that
a shirt lifesaver.
208
00:09:07,383 --> 00:09:10,383
Look, you guys, I told you,
look, I only have one line.
209
00:09:11,160 --> 00:09:13,330
And I wouldn't even have
that
if it wasn't for Marlon.
210
00:09:13,660 --> 00:09:14,266
Thank you.
Can I get a little credit?
211
00:09:14,300 --> 00:09:15,316
Thank you.
212
00:09:15,350 --> 00:09:18,250
Oh, nonsense.
D-do Bill Cosby.
213
00:09:18,283 --> 00:09:22,660
Ooh, you can do Bill
Cosby?
Let me see it.
214
00:09:22,100 --> 00:09:25,316
Oh, yeah.
Cosby, that's current.
215
00:09:25,350 --> 00:09:28,316
- Come on, please. Come on.
- No, I'm not gonna, I'm not.
216
00:09:28,350 --> 00:09:31,333
[mimicking Bill Cosby]
Oh, I'm not going to..
Oh, oh.
217
00:09:31,366 --> 00:09:33,250
No, no, no.
218
00:09:33,283 --> 00:09:35,116
Now, Camille, you know
219
00:09:35,150 --> 00:09:37,383
I like when you play
with my Pudding Pops.
220
00:09:40,330 --> 00:09:43,333
Oh, you make me
one of those Jell-O Pudding
Pop.
221
00:09:43,366 --> 00:09:47,266
Ha, ha-ha, speakin'
of Jell-O Pudding Pops
222
00:09:47,300 --> 00:09:49,383
why don't you wiggle
your big old ass outta here?
223
00:09:50,160 --> 00:09:52,000
Come on.
224
00:09:52,330 --> 00:09:53,133
- Don't be..
- Come on.
225
00:09:53,166 --> 00:09:55,183
Don't be mad 'cause
you can't do Cosby.
226
00:09:55,216 --> 00:09:56,266
Anybody can do Cosby.
227
00:09:56,300 --> 00:09:58,660
Snoop Dogg, Puffy Combs
228
00:09:58,100 --> 00:09:59,366
Gary Oldman, Mickey Mouse.
229
00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:02,830
- Everybody can do Cosby.
- Yeah, alright.
230
00:10:02,116 --> 00:10:04,830
Uh, if anybody could do Cosby,
let me see you do Cosby.
231
00:10:04,116 --> 00:10:07,160
[mimicking Cosby]
That boy b-b-b..
232
00:10:10,166 --> 00:10:11,266
I'm sorry, Marlon.
I'm sorry.
233
00:10:11,300 --> 00:10:13,150
I didn't know they were gonna
throw a party, man.
234
00:10:13,183 --> 00:10:15,316
You know how brothers are, they
throw a party after everything.
235
00:10:15,350 --> 00:10:18,150
[mimicking Bill Cosby]
Oh, my goodness, Lil' Ray Ray
just got left back
236
00:10:18,183 --> 00:10:20,250
for the third time.
237
00:10:20,283 --> 00:10:22,250
Party at my house.
238
00:10:22,283 --> 00:10:25,000
Party in my Cadillac.
239
00:10:28,350 --> 00:10:30,150
Come on, Marlon, man.
240
00:10:30,183 --> 00:10:33,500
Look, I told you, I don't
even
like this acting thing, man.
241
00:10:33,830 --> 00:10:34,266
But, Shawn,
that's the problem, man.
242
00:10:34,300 --> 00:10:37,500
You don't like
the acting thing, I do.
243
00:10:37,830 --> 00:10:38,216
- This is my livelihood, man.
- I know.
244
00:10:38,250 --> 00:10:39,383
Shawn, ever since
we was little, son
245
00:10:40,160 --> 00:10:41,250
you shined in everything.
246
00:10:41,283 --> 00:10:44,216
Everything. Girls,
grades, school, clothes.
247
00:10:44,250 --> 00:10:45,333
I mean, come on, man.
248
00:10:45,366 --> 00:10:47,283
I finally found something
I'm better than you in
249
00:10:47,316 --> 00:10:49,500
and here you go
out-shining me again.
250
00:10:49,830 --> 00:10:50,316
- Marlon, but..
- No, son, I'm saying is..
251
00:10:50,350 --> 00:10:52,500
Can I have something for me?
252
00:10:52,830 --> 00:10:53,333
That's what I'm trying
to tell you, Marlon.
253
00:10:53,366 --> 00:10:56,500
- Will you listen to me. Look..
- Yeah, Shawn, you're the best.
254
00:10:58,116 --> 00:11:01,000
God, Marlon, eh, I..
I can't win, Marlon.
255
00:11:01,330 --> 00:11:03,116
Look, I'm trying to tell you
I'm
not trying to steal your
dream
256
00:11:03,150 --> 00:11:04,150
alright, man?
257
00:11:04,183 --> 00:11:06,160
And even if I wanted to,
I couldn't.
258
00:11:06,500 --> 00:11:09,160
I mean, you, look at you,
you're a great actor.
259
00:11:09,500 --> 00:11:10,116
That's true.
260
00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:14,383
[instrumental music]
261
00:11:20,366 --> 00:11:22,250
[girls shrieking]
262
00:11:22,283 --> 00:11:26,116
It's the black guy from
"Everybody Loves Everybody."
263
00:11:27,000 --> 00:11:28,366
So cute.
264
00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:31,166
See, kid, man, your fans
still love you, man.
265
00:11:31,200 --> 00:11:33,500
- Yeah.
- Have a sleep on that.
266
00:11:33,830 --> 00:11:35,830
I hate this part.
267
00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:38,830
[Marlon screaming]
268
00:11:40,160 --> 00:11:43,166
We saw your show last night and
we think you are the greatest.
269
00:11:43,200 --> 00:11:46,100
[sighing]
Can you say your line for me?
270
00:11:46,133 --> 00:11:47,166
Oh, come on..
271
00:11:47,200 --> 00:11:49,133
Alright, just once, okay?
272
00:11:50,150 --> 00:11:52,216
[chuckling]
Anytime.
273
00:11:52,250 --> 00:11:54,100
[exclaiming]
274
00:11:57,830 --> 00:11:58,100
Any...anytime.
275
00:11:58,133 --> 00:11:59,133
[girl sighing]
276
00:11:59,166 --> 00:12:00,266
Anytime.
277
00:12:00,300 --> 00:12:02,660
Say, anytime.
278
00:12:02,100 --> 00:12:03,150
Anytime.
279
00:12:03,183 --> 00:12:04,266
Anytime.
280
00:12:07,150 --> 00:12:09,183
Hey, listen, uh, you guys know
we're going out live?
281
00:12:09,216 --> 00:12:10,316
Hey, you don't wanna
wreck the place
282
00:12:10,350 --> 00:12:11,383
before we do the show?
283
00:12:12,160 --> 00:12:13,160
Sorry. I'm sorry.
284
00:12:13,500 --> 00:12:14,183
We're going out live
tonight, okay?
285
00:12:14,216 --> 00:12:16,283
That means no mistakes,
no retakes.
286
00:12:16,316 --> 00:12:18,383
And you better learn these
brand new lines, my friend.
287
00:12:19,160 --> 00:12:20,116
They've written you
a whole new scene.
288
00:12:20,150 --> 00:12:22,100
- I got a new lines?
- New lines, new scenes.
289
00:12:22,133 --> 00:12:23,216
- Big scene.
- Thank you, man.
290
00:12:23,250 --> 00:12:26,000
- Okay, yeah.
- Eh, hope it's a boy.
291
00:12:28,150 --> 00:12:30,330
Hey, man,
see that, man?
292
00:12:30,660 --> 00:12:32,660
And you were worried about
my little role for nothing.
293
00:12:32,100 --> 00:12:33,333
- Come on, kid.
- Well, hold on, Shawn.
294
00:12:33,366 --> 00:12:35,350
Shawn, they got me
goin' to a hospital.
295
00:12:35,383 --> 00:12:37,333
That's good,
that is so perfect for
you.
296
00:12:37,366 --> 00:12:39,383
'Cause you could just, uh,
display a lot of emotions.
297
00:12:40,160 --> 00:12:41,366
Shawn, it's not good, man.
298
00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:43,200
They, I don't make it out
of the hospital.
299
00:12:43,233 --> 00:12:45,250
They killin' my character off.
300
00:12:47,166 --> 00:12:48,366
[sobbing]
Mummy-y-y!
301
00:12:54,250 --> 00:12:57,283
- Hey, uh, Corny, umm..
- It's, uh, Bernie.
302
00:12:57,316 --> 00:13:00,200
Bernie, look, I need to
talk
to you about Marlon.
303
00:13:00,233 --> 00:13:02,200
Now, I hope you're
not
killin' his
character off
304
00:13:02,233 --> 00:13:04,183
just to replace him with me.
305
00:13:04,216 --> 00:13:05,350
Well, actually we are.
306
00:13:05,383 --> 00:13:07,300
I mean, he maybe funny, but..
307
00:13:07,333 --> 00:13:10,166
...you have sex appeal,
and that spells big ratings.
308
00:13:11,166 --> 00:13:12,233
Wha..
309
00:13:12,266 --> 00:13:14,216
Well, does he have
to get killed off,
man?
310
00:13:14,250 --> 00:13:16,383
I mean can't there be
two black guys on the
show?
311
00:13:17,160 --> 00:13:18,166
Two black guys?
312
00:13:18,200 --> 00:13:20,233
Last time that worked was
on "Different Strokes"
313
00:13:20,266 --> 00:13:22,216
and that was only
one and a half black guys.
314
00:13:25,116 --> 00:13:27,216
Listen, don't worry about it,
just go focus on your script
315
00:13:27,250 --> 00:13:29,350
'cause as you know
we're going out live tonight.
316
00:13:29,383 --> 00:13:33,100
And we cannot afford to have
any mistakes. No mistakes.
317
00:13:37,500 --> 00:13:38,150
No mistakes, huh?
318
00:13:40,283 --> 00:13:43,283
[instrumental music]
319
00:13:45,100 --> 00:13:47,100
- Hey, what's up, baby boy?
- Uh-huh.
320
00:13:47,133 --> 00:13:49,366
Did you memorize
your new lines yet?
321
00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:51,283
Memorize 'em for what?
322
00:13:51,316 --> 00:13:53,000
All I gotta do is close my eyes
323
00:13:53,330 --> 00:13:54,366
and just wait for it
to be all over.
324
00:13:56,830 --> 00:13:58,383
Hey, now you know
how your dates must feel?
325
00:14:02,150 --> 00:14:03,300
Come on, Marlon, cheer,
I'm just trying
326
00:14:03,333 --> 00:14:04,383
to cheer you up, man.
327
00:14:05,160 --> 00:14:06,166
Look, besides,
you know what?
328
00:14:06,200 --> 00:14:07,316
I think these guys
gonna realize
329
00:14:07,350 --> 00:14:09,116
they made a mistake
by killing you off.
330
00:14:09,150 --> 00:14:10,266
[bell ringing]
331
00:14:10,300 --> 00:14:12,133
Okay, everybody,
we're going live
332
00:14:12,166 --> 00:14:13,283
for real this time.
333
00:14:13,316 --> 00:14:16,166
Lots of energy, let's go.
334
00:14:16,200 --> 00:14:17,316
- Alright, good luck.
- Alright, man.
335
00:14:17,350 --> 00:14:18,350
Have a good show.
336
00:14:18,383 --> 00:14:19,366
Alright, come on.
337
00:14:20,000 --> 00:14:22,133
In five, four..
338
00:14:22,166 --> 00:14:24,250
...three, two..
339
00:14:24,283 --> 00:14:26,216
[instrumental music]
340
00:14:27,166 --> 00:14:28,200
What can I get you?
341
00:14:28,233 --> 00:14:31,660
I'm pooped,
I need a pick-me-up.
342
00:14:31,100 --> 00:14:33,150
Oh, you-you mean a pick-me-up?
343
00:14:33,183 --> 00:14:35,300
You mean all the drugs that you
picked up in your dressing room
344
00:14:35,333 --> 00:14:37,383
before you came out
here wasn't enough?
345
00:14:40,330 --> 00:14:42,116
Umm, he he, don't you mean, um
346
00:14:42,150 --> 00:14:44,500
one latte coming right up?
347
00:14:44,830 --> 00:14:45,266
Oh, yeah, coming right up.
348
00:14:45,300 --> 00:14:47,316
Coming right up kinda
like your court date
349
00:14:47,350 --> 00:14:50,160
for your little daughter
that you don't take care of.
350
00:14:50,500 --> 00:14:52,233
[crying]
351
00:14:52,266 --> 00:14:54,250
Wha-what's gotten into
your
brother? What's he doing?
352
00:14:54,283 --> 00:14:57,500
I don't know,
I don't know, I don't know..
353
00:14:57,830 --> 00:14:58,233
I-I've no idea.
354
00:14:58,266 --> 00:15:00,333
Oh, okay, Cooper,
guys stand up, stand up.
355
00:15:00,366 --> 00:15:05,000
We're live, do something,
move.
Move, move, move. Talk.
356
00:15:07,500 --> 00:15:08,366
Well, uh,
it's getting late.
357
00:15:10,266 --> 00:15:13,316
I guess I'll...head home.
358
00:15:13,350 --> 00:15:15,316
I'm kind of beat.
359
00:15:15,350 --> 00:15:17,000
[laughing]
Beat?
360
00:15:17,330 --> 00:15:19,830
Like the way you
beat up your wife?
361
00:15:23,660 --> 00:15:25,316
I have nothing to do with
this.
Don't blame the brother.
362
00:15:25,350 --> 00:15:27,100
Don't be
scared,
little white
girl.
363
00:15:27,133 --> 00:15:29,350
I'm not gonna,
gonna say anything about
you.
364
00:15:29,383 --> 00:15:31,830
'I ain't gonna bother you.'
365
00:15:31,116 --> 00:15:32,166
I mean 'cause everybody knows
366
00:15:32,200 --> 00:15:34,216
you sleeping with the producer.
367
00:15:36,233 --> 00:15:38,150
You little slut.
368
00:15:39,300 --> 00:15:41,330
You and him
cooked this up, right?
369
00:15:41,660 --> 00:15:42,150
I-I didn't cook up nothing.
370
00:15:42,183 --> 00:15:45,283
You tapping off
what's her name?
371
00:15:45,316 --> 00:15:47,660
Cut, commercial!
372
00:15:47,100 --> 00:15:49,100
[bell ringing]
373
00:15:49,133 --> 00:15:51,166
What you giving me
attitude for?
374
00:15:52,333 --> 00:15:54,000
- Was that fun? Ha?
- What?
375
00:15:54,330 --> 00:15:56,330
Was that fun?
Wrecking the show?
376
00:15:56,660 --> 00:15:57,250
Was that fun?
Well, I hope it was.
377
00:15:57,283 --> 00:16:00,183
Because, Shawn,
you are finished!
378
00:16:00,216 --> 00:16:02,150
You're finished, man! Done!
379
00:16:02,183 --> 00:16:03,250
Finished!
380
00:16:03,283 --> 00:16:05,150
- So, I'm finished.
- Oh, yeah!
381
00:16:05,183 --> 00:16:07,160
- My character is dead.
- Done.
382
00:16:07,500 --> 00:16:08,150
So that means
if you kill me
383
00:16:08,183 --> 00:16:10,000
that means
you have to keep
Lucius.
384
00:16:11,660 --> 00:16:14,660
[instrumental music]
385
00:16:17,383 --> 00:16:19,830
[gasping]
386
00:16:19,116 --> 00:16:21,160
[coughing]
387
00:16:22,116 --> 00:16:23,350
I'm dyin'.
388
00:16:25,183 --> 00:16:27,330
'I'm dyin'.'
389
00:16:27,316 --> 00:16:30,330
Mama..
390
00:16:30,660 --> 00:16:33,830
Mama, is that you, mama?
391
00:16:33,116 --> 00:16:36,283
- No, it's Vanessa.
- Oh, yeah?
392
00:16:36,316 --> 00:16:37,316
Oh, Vanessa.
393
00:16:37,350 --> 00:16:39,216
Oh!
394
00:16:39,250 --> 00:16:42,333
I'm so glad
you're still alive.
395
00:16:42,366 --> 00:16:44,116
What happened to me?
396
00:16:44,150 --> 00:16:47,383
When you left the coffee
shop,
you were hit by a car.
397
00:16:48,160 --> 00:16:51,233
The doctor say
you don't have much more time.
398
00:16:51,266 --> 00:16:53,116
I-I know.
399
00:16:54,283 --> 00:16:56,283
I know they said it.
400
00:16:58,830 --> 00:17:00,100
- Come here.
- Yeah.
401
00:17:01,200 --> 00:17:03,000
[whispering
]
Promise..
402
00:17:03,330 --> 00:17:05,233
Promise me something
403
00:17:05,266 --> 00:17:07,250
Promise you'll do
404
00:17:07,283 --> 00:17:10,000
Lucius something.
405
00:17:10,330 --> 00:17:11,166
Mm, uh.
406
00:17:11,200 --> 00:17:14,500
Anything.
407
00:17:14,830 --> 00:17:16,660
[whispering
]
Promise me
408
00:17:16,100 --> 00:17:18,233
you'll tell my brother
409
00:17:18,266 --> 00:17:21,216
I said I love him.
410
00:17:21,250 --> 00:17:23,216
'And thanks for everything.'
411
00:17:24,283 --> 00:17:26,383
Tell him thank you..
412
00:17:27,160 --> 00:17:29,233
...for everything.
413
00:17:29,266 --> 00:17:30,333
Okay?
414
00:17:32,333 --> 00:17:34,660
My eyes?
415
00:17:35,100 --> 00:17:37,500
My eyes, I can't see.
416
00:17:37,830 --> 00:17:39,350
I can't see.
Oh, oh, I'm
scared.
417
00:17:39,383 --> 00:17:41,233
We're here, Lucius.
418
00:17:43,116 --> 00:17:45,330
Please tell the nurse
419
00:17:45,660 --> 00:17:49,116
to change my IV
from electrolytes to
Kool-Aid.
420
00:17:53,660 --> 00:17:54,383
You hear that?
421
00:17:55,160 --> 00:17:58,830
You hear the violins playin'?
422
00:17:58,116 --> 00:18:00,216
Oh, they sound beautiful.
423
00:18:00,250 --> 00:18:03,500
I think Puff Daddy
did the remix.
424
00:18:05,330 --> 00:18:07,266
Oh, I guess it's all over.
425
00:18:09,233 --> 00:18:13,000
May the Lord
be my German Shepherd.
426
00:18:13,330 --> 00:18:15,000
It ends now.
427
00:18:15,330 --> 00:18:17,000
Please don't die, Lucius.
428
00:18:17,330 --> 00:18:19,000
It's alright, Scott Mayo.
429
00:18:21,300 --> 00:18:23,333
Hey, you tell everybody..
430
00:18:26,166 --> 00:18:28,830
...Lucius..
431
00:18:29,830 --> 00:18:30,333
...loves..
432
00:18:38,283 --> 00:18:41,660
...everybody.
433
00:18:45,660 --> 00:18:47,660
[flatline]
434
00:18:52,500 --> 00:18:54,830
[instrumental music]
435
00:18:54,116 --> 00:18:56,266
- Hey, kid.
- What's up, man?
436
00:18:56,300 --> 00:19:00,116
Hey, yo, you sabotaged
you bein' a star for me.
437
00:19:00,150 --> 00:19:01,350
- That was sweet.
- Hey, man.
438
00:19:01,383 --> 00:19:04,300
- You know..
- That was sweet.
439
00:19:04,333 --> 00:19:07,133
Yeah, Shawn..
440
00:19:07,166 --> 00:19:10,216
...Mr. Saboteur.
441
00:19:10,250 --> 00:19:12,150
All that money
442
00:19:12,183 --> 00:19:15,350
all those pretty freaky women
ready to do anything you
want..
443
00:19:15,383 --> 00:19:18,216
...and I thought
Marlon
was the stupid one.
444
00:19:18,250 --> 00:19:20,283
Come on, pop, what will
all those freaky girls
445
00:19:20,316 --> 00:19:22,160
and all that money mean
446
00:19:22,500 --> 00:19:23,150
if my little brother
wasn't happy?
447
00:19:23,183 --> 00:19:26,333
- 'Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.'
- Yeah. Hey, kid.
448
00:19:26,366 --> 00:19:28,350
I thought the stuff you came
up
with was pretty funny.
449
00:19:28,383 --> 00:19:30,366
- I was laughing.
- I thought it was funny
too.
450
00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:32,166
- Better than that script.
- I know.
451
00:19:32,200 --> 00:19:34,333
You were exposin'
more dirt than Oprah.
452
00:19:36,500 --> 00:19:37,250
(Bernie)
Hey, yeah. Hey, Marlon.
453
00:19:37,283 --> 00:19:39,116
Marlon, I-I'd just like
to congratulate you
454
00:19:39,150 --> 00:19:40,300
for the fine work that you did
in the hospital scene.
455
00:19:40,333 --> 00:19:42,116
Oh, thank you, represent..
456
00:19:42,150 --> 00:19:43,383
Appreciate that, you know
what I'm saying. Word up.
457
00:19:44,160 --> 00:19:45,300
A-and for that reason alone,
I'd really like
458
00:19:45,333 --> 00:19:47,330
to keep you on the show.
459
00:19:47,660 --> 00:19:48,250
- Really?
- Yeah.
460
00:19:48,283 --> 00:19:52,100
But Shawn's work was so bad,
the network cancelled the
show.
461
00:19:52,133 --> 00:19:54,216
Thanks a lot, man.
462
00:19:54,250 --> 00:19:56,330
Oh, well, well,
wait a minute, wait a minute.
463
00:19:56,660 --> 00:19:59,116
Black, wait a minute.
464
00:19:59,150 --> 00:20:00,333
All is not lost.
465
00:20:00,366 --> 00:20:03,100
Since you lost that show,
I got an idea for another
one.
466
00:20:03,133 --> 00:20:04,366
Two brothers sharing
an apartment.
467
00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:07,250
They got a handsome
sharp-dressing father
468
00:20:07,283 --> 00:20:09,830
who runs a diner.
469
00:20:09,116 --> 00:20:12,116
- Bang!
- You three will do a show?
470
00:20:12,150 --> 00:20:14,183
Let me tell you little bit
of how television works, okay?
471
00:20:14,216 --> 00:20:16,200
These studios and networks
put up millions of dollars
472
00:20:16,233 --> 00:20:18,333
to do these shows, the only way
they can make their money back
473
00:20:18,366 --> 00:20:21,116
is to sell the re-runs
and maybe make a little
profit.
474
00:20:21,150 --> 00:20:23,216
Alright, and you're gonna do
a 100 episodes of a show
475
00:20:23,250 --> 00:20:25,330
about you two brothers
476
00:20:25,660 --> 00:20:27,830
one goofy, might've been
dropped
on his head when he was little
477
00:20:27,116 --> 00:20:28,316
we don't know,
one who can't do a line
478
00:20:28,350 --> 00:20:30,200
from the script
to save his damn life.
479
00:20:30,233 --> 00:20:32,316
And a father who dresses like
he just had an explosion
480
00:20:32,350 --> 00:20:33,383
at a wallpaper factory?
481
00:20:34,160 --> 00:20:36,216
Hey, hey, no, no.
No, I got an idea.
482
00:20:36,250 --> 00:20:38,660
How about, how about
Shawn and Marlon
483
00:20:38,100 --> 00:20:39,830
produce the show too?
484
00:20:39,116 --> 00:20:40,216
Hey, better yet, how about
485
00:20:40,250 --> 00:20:42,330
we get, uh, we get
the security guard
486
00:20:42,660 --> 00:20:44,116
who's addicted to donuts
into the show, huh?
487
00:20:44,150 --> 00:20:45,300
Hey, I got an idea for a show.
488
00:20:45,333 --> 00:20:47,300
How about you three
play in a show..
489
00:20:47,333 --> 00:20:49,500
Uh, let's see,
what's the idea?
490
00:20:49,830 --> 00:20:51,333
You play, uh, three guys
I never see again!
491
00:20:52,300 --> 00:20:55,150
[indistinct chatter]
492
00:21:03,166 --> 00:21:04,316
Anytime.
493
00:21:06,183 --> 00:21:08,183
A-anytime.
494
00:21:12,366 --> 00:21:14,200
Anytime.
495
00:21:19,660 --> 00:21:20,200
Anytime.
496
00:21:24,133 --> 00:21:25,300
Any-y-y..
497
00:21:26,216 --> 00:21:27,333
...time.
498
00:21:27,366 --> 00:21:29,316
(Shawn)Look up, Marlon. Say cheese.
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