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1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162
WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
1
00:00:10,460 --> 00:00:12,815
I can't believe Dad's
kicking us out of the house...
2
00:00:13,020 --> 00:00:14,692
...just to watch some stupid movie.
3
00:00:14,900 --> 00:00:16,174
Oh, it's okay, honey.
4
00:00:16,380 --> 00:00:20,009
You and I are gonna have
a terrific time at this strip show.
5
00:00:20,220 --> 00:00:24,179
It'll be just like your 12th birthday
all over again.
6
00:00:24,740 --> 00:00:28,289
Okay, but this time
you're the designated driver.
7
00:00:28,500 --> 00:00:30,491
All right, let's check our equipment.
8
00:00:30,700 --> 00:00:33,009
- Ones and fives.
- Check.
9
00:00:33,220 --> 00:00:36,018
- Wesson oil.
- Check.
10
00:00:36,540 --> 00:00:39,498
A driver's license,
just in case I get carded.
11
00:00:39,700 --> 00:00:41,895
That's a good one, Mom.
12
00:00:44,020 --> 00:00:46,136
I mean, check.
13
00:00:57,820 --> 00:00:59,776
It was a bad day today, Peg.
14
00:01:01,060 --> 00:01:04,052
One minute, the biggest woman
in the world was in front of me.
15
00:01:04,260 --> 00:01:08,697
I was trying to wedge a size four
on her foot with my lucky shoehorn...
16
00:01:09,380 --> 00:01:11,450
...the next minute, she was gone.
17
00:01:12,020 --> 00:01:14,488
The woman died in your store?
18
00:01:14,700 --> 00:01:17,931
Not the woman, Peg, the shoehorn.
19
00:01:19,300 --> 00:01:21,211
Look at it, Peg.
20
00:01:23,020 --> 00:01:25,409
Crushed like a beer can
at a Raiders game.
21
00:01:27,020 --> 00:01:28,009
I'll tell you, Peg...
22
00:01:28,220 --> 00:01:32,338
...the only thing that kept me going
was knowing that tonight is the night.
23
00:01:32,540 --> 00:01:34,292
Oh, don't worry, honey.
24
00:01:34,500 --> 00:01:37,936
We will be gone
by the time your little movie starts.
25
00:01:38,140 --> 00:01:41,450
Death Wish 6 is not a little movie.
26
00:01:41,660 --> 00:01:43,616
It is a once-in-a-lifetime...
27
00:01:43,820 --> 00:01:47,893
...3-D, splatter-vision,
pay-per-view event.
28
00:01:57,860 --> 00:01:59,339
Guys...
29
00:02:05,100 --> 00:02:06,852
...I need the house to myself tonight.
30
00:02:07,060 --> 00:02:09,255
My pen pal, Starla,
just got out of prison...
31
00:02:09,460 --> 00:02:11,610
...and she's coming here to see me.
32
00:02:11,820 --> 00:02:13,173
What does she look like?
33
00:02:13,380 --> 00:02:16,213
Supposedly, like Cindy Crawford,
but who cares?
34
00:02:16,460 --> 00:02:20,009
She's under 30 and hasn't
been touched by a man in years.
35
00:02:20,220 --> 00:02:23,337
Oh, she's just like me.
36
00:02:23,540 --> 00:02:27,658
Except that your crimes continue
to go unpunished.
37
00:02:28,740 --> 00:02:30,332
Go away.
38
00:02:31,300 --> 00:02:32,938
Dad, Starla and I need some privacy.
39
00:02:33,140 --> 00:02:35,529
She's gonna do a body search.
40
00:02:36,460 --> 00:02:38,735
And I've hidden things.
41
00:02:39,900 --> 00:02:43,176
You all have exactly 12 and a half
minutes to vacate the premises.
42
00:02:43,380 --> 00:02:46,372
I have every movement timed
down to the final second...
43
00:02:46,580 --> 00:02:48,218
...including this one.
44
00:02:53,980 --> 00:02:55,208
Come on, Mom, let's go.
45
00:02:55,420 --> 00:02:58,253
We want to get a pole-side table,
don't we?
46
00:02:58,460 --> 00:03:00,928
Wait a minute, honey.
Come help me find my punch card.
47
00:03:01,140 --> 00:03:03,973
I think I'm due a free lap dance.
48
00:03:13,740 --> 00:03:16,538
I'm looking for Bud Bundy.
49
00:03:16,740 --> 00:03:18,219
I'm Bud.
50
00:03:18,420 --> 00:03:20,615
And you must be Starla?
51
00:03:20,820 --> 00:03:23,812
You don't look like Brad Pitt.
52
00:03:25,740 --> 00:03:28,652
And you don't look like
Cindy Crawford either.
53
00:03:28,860 --> 00:03:30,293
No.
54
00:03:30,500 --> 00:03:32,058
But I've got a gun.
55
00:03:32,260 --> 00:03:34,251
This is a holdup.
56
00:03:35,340 --> 00:03:37,729
- Come on.
- I hope you don't think I'm weird...
57
00:03:37,940 --> 00:03:40,454
...but this is kind of turning me on
a little bit.
58
00:03:40,660 --> 00:03:42,457
Sicko.
59
00:03:43,460 --> 00:03:46,532
You told me you lived
in a French provincial estate.
60
00:03:46,740 --> 00:03:48,935
My cell is nicer than this dump.
61
00:03:49,140 --> 00:03:52,177
Starla, I lied to you because I knew
I wasn't good enough for you.
62
00:03:52,380 --> 00:03:54,257
And we don't--
We don't have any money.
63
00:03:54,460 --> 00:03:57,418
And I don't play for the Bulls either.
64
00:03:58,580 --> 00:04:00,696
I ought to beat you up.
65
00:04:01,500 --> 00:04:03,855
Would you mind
putting on a nightie first?
66
00:04:04,620 --> 00:04:07,612
All right, guys. Oh, hey. Bye.
67
00:04:07,820 --> 00:04:09,333
Oh, good, your friend came.
68
00:04:09,540 --> 00:04:11,496
- You guys have a great time.
- Hey, hey, hey.
69
00:04:12,580 --> 00:04:14,935
I'm on the run,
I've got nothing to lose.
70
00:04:15,140 --> 00:04:18,655
Either you and your sisters cooperate,
or someone's gonna get hurt.
71
00:04:18,860 --> 00:04:20,612
Sisters?
72
00:04:22,980 --> 00:04:24,333
I like her.
73
00:05:02,700 --> 00:05:04,133
Mom, I'm scared.
74
00:05:04,340 --> 00:05:07,013
Don't worry, honey. She doesn't know
that Daddy's upstairs.
75
00:05:07,220 --> 00:05:09,131
He's our secret weapon.
76
00:05:09,660 --> 00:05:12,538
Yeah, if he leaves
the bathroom door open.
77
00:05:13,460 --> 00:05:14,779
Yoo-hoo.
78
00:05:16,420 --> 00:05:18,650
What are you doing?
I told you to wait in the car.
79
00:05:18,860 --> 00:05:20,213
Thought you might need help...
80
00:05:20,420 --> 00:05:22,570
...carrying that picnic lunch
your friends made.
81
00:05:22,780 --> 00:05:26,170
Howdy, I'm Lonnie.
I'm Starla's boyfriend.
82
00:05:26,580 --> 00:05:29,219
Starla, where did you get that gun?
83
00:05:29,420 --> 00:05:31,456
Wake up, Jethro.
84
00:05:32,860 --> 00:05:35,328
She's escaped from prison.
85
00:05:35,780 --> 00:05:40,012
She didn't escape.
I was right there, picking her up.
86
00:05:40,220 --> 00:05:43,656
They let her out that special
drainpipe exit in the woods.
87
00:05:44,380 --> 00:05:47,099
So the media wouldn't harass her.
88
00:05:47,940 --> 00:05:49,578
Mom...
89
00:05:50,020 --> 00:05:53,092
...I can't believe she dumped me
for this guy.
90
00:05:53,420 --> 00:05:54,978
He's a total moron.
91
00:06:03,860 --> 00:06:07,489
Now, we're gonna need a getaway car.
We are taking the Porsche.
92
00:06:07,700 --> 00:06:10,089
No, not the Porsche.
93
00:06:10,300 --> 00:06:11,494
Give Lonnie the keys.
94
00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:21,938
Thank you.
95
00:06:22,140 --> 00:06:23,858
I'm Kelly.
96
00:06:24,740 --> 00:06:27,300
The garage is through that door.
97
00:06:35,740 --> 00:06:38,732
Now, we're gonna need some food
for the road.
98
00:06:38,940 --> 00:06:40,453
You.
99
00:06:40,660 --> 00:06:42,776
Go cook us something.
100
00:06:45,780 --> 00:06:47,930
You animal.
101
00:06:49,020 --> 00:06:51,136
Don't think about
trying to poison us either.
102
00:06:51,340 --> 00:06:53,774
Yeah, she doesn't have
to think about it...
103
00:06:53,980 --> 00:06:55,777
...it just sort of happens.
104
00:06:56,340 --> 00:06:58,854
All right. It's okay, Mom,
that's okay, it's okay.
105
00:07:03,420 --> 00:07:06,093
Now, I may not be
the best mechanic in town...
106
00:07:06,300 --> 00:07:08,894
...but I'm pretty sure
that's not a Porsche.
107
00:07:10,940 --> 00:07:13,215
May not even be a car.
108
00:07:14,540 --> 00:07:16,656
He's so smart.
109
00:07:19,180 --> 00:07:22,013
It's Jefferson. Is anyone home?
110
00:07:22,220 --> 00:07:23,289
That's our neighbor.
111
00:07:23,500 --> 00:07:26,572
You better surrender now
because he used to be with the CIA...
112
00:07:26,780 --> 00:07:28,498
...and he is a trained killer.
113
00:07:39,300 --> 00:07:42,690
Sorry to just "barge" in.
114
00:07:44,420 --> 00:07:46,456
Oh, Marcy and I had to show you
our costumes.
115
00:07:46,660 --> 00:07:49,732
We're going
on a charity masquerade cruise.
116
00:07:52,300 --> 00:07:55,212
Little Bo Peep
has lost her sheep and--
117
00:07:55,420 --> 00:07:58,617
Oh, sorry, I didn't know
you had company.
118
00:07:58,820 --> 00:08:01,971
Wow, are you guys going
on the cruise too?
119
00:08:02,180 --> 00:08:05,172
What great costumes.
Wait, let me guess.
120
00:08:05,420 --> 00:08:08,617
Grease monkey and...
121
00:08:08,820 --> 00:08:11,573
...psychotic trailer trash, right?
122
00:08:13,140 --> 00:08:15,495
- Marcy--
- Oh, I love your props.
123
00:08:15,700 --> 00:08:17,975
They're so lifelike.
124
00:08:19,500 --> 00:08:21,456
Eat lead, street scum.
125
00:08:21,660 --> 00:08:24,413
- Shoot her.
- Shoot her.
126
00:08:24,620 --> 00:08:27,009
Bang, bang, you're dead.
127
00:08:27,500 --> 00:08:29,092
This is such fun. There you go.
128
00:08:29,300 --> 00:08:31,052
Don't give her the gun.
129
00:08:31,260 --> 00:08:34,650
No, fun is busting a cap
in Little Bo Peep's ass.
130
00:08:36,180 --> 00:08:38,489
Marcy, this is Starla.
131
00:08:38,700 --> 00:08:41,294
She's broken out of prison,
and she's here to rob us.
132
00:08:41,500 --> 00:08:43,092
Of what?
133
00:08:44,300 --> 00:08:46,097
Everybody in the corner.
134
00:08:46,300 --> 00:08:48,097
Jefferson, do something.
135
00:08:48,300 --> 00:08:49,813
Okay.
136
00:08:51,380 --> 00:08:53,769
Exactly which corner would you like?
Right.
137
00:08:53,980 --> 00:08:55,652
Everybody, shut up, I gotta think.
138
00:08:55,860 --> 00:08:58,977
Yeah, Starla really surprised me
with this whole thing.
139
00:08:59,180 --> 00:09:02,331
I didn't even have time
to learn how to speak Canadian.
140
00:09:03,540 --> 00:09:05,053
Yeah, I know what you mean.
141
00:09:05,260 --> 00:09:08,730
I always wanted to go to Australia,
but I don't speak a word of Australian.
142
00:09:08,940 --> 00:09:12,376
Oh, except for "koala."
143
00:09:14,420 --> 00:09:16,490
I love koalas.
144
00:09:16,700 --> 00:09:18,930
I got one tattooed on my...
145
00:09:20,220 --> 00:09:23,451
Starla doesn't like it.
She says it makes me look cheap.
146
00:09:23,660 --> 00:09:25,378
What are you doing
with her anyway?
147
00:09:25,580 --> 00:09:28,174
I mean, don't you think
she's kind of trampy?
148
00:09:28,380 --> 00:09:30,735
Well, that's my type.
149
00:09:30,940 --> 00:09:34,728
Besides, Starla said it'd be real hard
for me to find another girlfriend...
150
00:09:34,940 --> 00:09:36,419
...on account of how ugly I am.
151
00:09:38,540 --> 00:09:39,495
Get away from her.
152
00:09:39,700 --> 00:09:41,611
She's very moody.
153
00:09:42,900 --> 00:09:45,209
We have got to get
the gun away from her.
154
00:09:45,420 --> 00:09:48,730
Now, we need someone big
and strong and expendable.
155
00:09:48,940 --> 00:09:50,771
Where is your father?
156
00:09:50,980 --> 00:09:53,733
Hey, you told me
your father was dead.
157
00:09:53,940 --> 00:09:55,453
That's right, he died.
158
00:09:59,780 --> 00:10:02,453
Before he could fix the plumbing.
159
00:10:02,660 --> 00:10:05,049
Old Charles Bronson had a gun
160
00:10:05,260 --> 00:10:07,694
Eee-eye-eee-eye-oh
161
00:10:08,060 --> 00:10:10,494
With this gun he killed some scum
162
00:10:10,700 --> 00:10:11,655
Eee-eye-eee-eye--
163
00:10:11,860 --> 00:10:13,134
Oh.
164
00:10:14,780 --> 00:10:17,089
You're from the cable company,
aren't you?
165
00:10:18,620 --> 00:10:20,815
Al, she's not from
the cable company.
166
00:10:21,020 --> 00:10:23,818
She's Bud's pen pal,
and she's come here to rob us.
167
00:10:24,020 --> 00:10:27,569
You see, that's why we don't allow you
to have friends, Bud.
168
00:10:29,460 --> 00:10:33,499
Now, listen, you're obviously
disappointed in Bud. We are too.
169
00:10:33,780 --> 00:10:36,340
But, you see,
I already paid for this movie...
170
00:10:36,540 --> 00:10:41,534
...and I had to buy a 200-ounce
bladder buster to get these here.
171
00:10:41,740 --> 00:10:43,617
So why don't you just go--
172
00:10:43,820 --> 00:10:46,698
Oh, my God.
173
00:10:46,900 --> 00:10:49,209
My baby.
174
00:10:57,100 --> 00:11:00,649
Oh, why, why, why?
175
00:11:03,060 --> 00:11:05,620
Poor Clicky.
176
00:11:06,340 --> 00:11:11,334
So young and so many
channels left to change.
177
00:11:11,540 --> 00:11:15,419
Oh, yeah, big, tough broad picking on
a helpless little remote, aren't you?
178
00:11:16,220 --> 00:11:18,370
Wouldn't be tough without that gun,
would you?
179
00:11:18,580 --> 00:11:20,855
No, you idiot, that's why I've got it.
180
00:11:21,420 --> 00:11:22,773
Kind of what I said, isn't it?
181
00:11:27,020 --> 00:11:30,012
Oh, Al, I'm afraid. Hold me.
182
00:11:30,220 --> 00:11:31,892
Peg, Peg, my life's in danger here...
183
00:11:32,100 --> 00:11:34,898
...it's important I maintain
my will to live.
184
00:11:38,460 --> 00:11:39,495
Okay, Dad...
185
00:11:39,700 --> 00:11:42,772
...we've got to come up with a plan.
What would Charles Bronson do?
186
00:11:42,980 --> 00:11:44,857
Well, he'd usually
go on a revenge spree...
187
00:11:45,060 --> 00:11:47,699
...after his loved ones
were brutally slaughtered.
188
00:11:48,420 --> 00:11:50,888
- Think of something else.
- All right.
189
00:11:51,100 --> 00:11:52,692
All right, I've come up with a plan.
190
00:11:52,900 --> 00:11:55,289
It's dangerous and risky,
I'll need a volunteer.
191
00:11:55,500 --> 00:11:56,933
- Croquet injury.
- Stubbed my toe.
192
00:11:57,140 --> 00:11:58,255
Thanks a lot.
193
00:11:58,460 --> 00:12:00,496
Lucky. Lucky, here, boy.
194
00:12:00,700 --> 00:12:02,930
Go get the cops, go get the cops.
195
00:12:03,140 --> 00:12:04,698
Good boy.
196
00:12:05,420 --> 00:12:08,537
What a good dog.
Loyal, strong and brave.
197
00:12:13,140 --> 00:12:15,529
We may need an alternate plan.
198
00:12:15,740 --> 00:12:16,775
I've got another idea.
199
00:12:16,980 --> 00:12:22,612
Are you going to command a squadron
of flies from your hamper to attack?
200
00:12:23,180 --> 00:12:27,378
If I could command those flies,
do you think you'd still be alive?
201
00:12:28,820 --> 00:12:31,254
Al, please do something.
202
00:12:31,460 --> 00:12:32,779
I'm about to, Peg.
203
00:12:32,980 --> 00:12:35,733
I'm toting around 200 ounces
of Mr. Pibb.
204
00:12:37,140 --> 00:12:38,937
Hey, girlie...
205
00:12:40,060 --> 00:12:41,698
...mind if I hit the can?
206
00:12:41,900 --> 00:12:44,289
All right. Lonnie, go with him.
207
00:12:44,500 --> 00:12:47,060
Lonnie, where the hell are you?
208
00:12:47,260 --> 00:12:49,171
Still looking for that Porsche.
209
00:12:52,060 --> 00:12:53,652
Were you back there with Lonnie?
210
00:12:53,860 --> 00:12:56,090
Kelly, are you crazy?
211
00:12:56,300 --> 00:12:58,689
You guys, we were just talking.
212
00:12:59,700 --> 00:13:01,816
We happen to have a lot in common.
213
00:13:02,020 --> 00:13:05,808
We both hate green eggs and ham,
but we think the book is pretty funny.
214
00:13:07,100 --> 00:13:08,135
Now, remember...
215
00:13:08,340 --> 00:13:14,176
...no matter how she threatens us,
do not tell her about the Mercedes.
216
00:13:14,380 --> 00:13:16,371
Hey, what are you whispering about?
217
00:13:16,580 --> 00:13:19,333
We have a Mercedes next door.
Take it, here are the keys.
218
00:13:19,540 --> 00:13:22,134
No, I won't let you.
219
00:13:27,820 --> 00:13:29,378
- Give me the keys.
- No, Starla.
220
00:13:29,580 --> 00:13:32,492
You know, it's not too late
to turn your life around.
221
00:13:32,700 --> 00:13:36,739
So you were gonna blow away
the Bundys. What's that, a $10 fine?
222
00:13:36,980 --> 00:13:38,971
But grand theft auto...
223
00:13:39,180 --> 00:13:40,579
...you're better than that.
224
00:13:40,780 --> 00:13:44,216
Inside you is a confused,
misunderstood person...
225
00:13:44,420 --> 00:13:48,459
...who doesn't need a Mercedes,
just a second chance.
226
00:13:48,660 --> 00:13:51,697
Yeah, I'll think that over
when I'm ditching your car in a lake.
227
00:13:51,900 --> 00:13:54,016
I hope you fry!
228
00:13:54,940 --> 00:13:56,976
There's not enough voltage
in Illinois...
229
00:13:57,180 --> 00:14:00,616
...and I'm gonna shave your head
when they strap you to the hot--
230
00:14:02,140 --> 00:14:05,257
Now, everybody,
down on the floor, now!
231
00:14:06,220 --> 00:14:09,974
Do you know how long it's been
since these floors were washed?
232
00:14:12,420 --> 00:14:14,456
Come on, Lonnie,
we gotta make a break for it.
233
00:14:15,180 --> 00:14:16,135
What's going on?
234
00:14:16,340 --> 00:14:19,889
"Cotton balls" over there handed
over the keys to their Mercedes.
235
00:14:21,100 --> 00:14:22,897
They're wool.
236
00:14:25,340 --> 00:14:27,092
Mercedes.
237
00:14:27,300 --> 00:14:28,528
That's a good idea.
238
00:14:28,740 --> 00:14:30,696
May I suggest you take a hostage
with you?
239
00:14:30,900 --> 00:14:33,016
Perhaps the registered owner
of the car.
240
00:14:34,860 --> 00:14:36,612
That would be her.
241
00:14:40,340 --> 00:14:43,298
Before you go, one thing.
Did you and the girls ever pass time...
242
00:14:43,500 --> 00:14:45,889
...by spanking each other
with license plates?
243
00:14:48,460 --> 00:14:51,133
Oh, I'm really gonna miss you.
244
00:14:55,940 --> 00:14:59,649
I said cops, not crops.
245
00:15:02,300 --> 00:15:06,088
Is it me, or is that dog really stupid?
246
00:15:07,100 --> 00:15:11,013
Yeah, but, you know,
he's kind of cute.
247
00:15:18,620 --> 00:15:19,894
We're out of here.
248
00:15:20,100 --> 00:15:23,775
- Al, has the movie started?
- Hit the floor, butt head!
249
00:15:27,700 --> 00:15:31,056
Oh, man, I missed the beginning.
250
00:15:31,660 --> 00:15:33,298
Damn.
251
00:15:36,060 --> 00:15:39,018
This 3-D is incredible.
252
00:15:39,220 --> 00:15:42,212
Take off the glasses, Griff.
253
00:15:44,460 --> 00:15:46,769
Sorry, wrong house.
254
00:15:46,980 --> 00:15:49,813
That Negro family,
where do they live? Next door?
255
00:15:50,580 --> 00:15:52,457
Sit down and shut up.
256
00:16:02,820 --> 00:16:06,176
Didn't you see the "Help" sign
I hung out of the bathroom window?
257
00:16:06,380 --> 00:16:10,055
Al, you've been hanging "Help" signs
ever since I've known you.
258
00:16:11,420 --> 00:16:13,331
I'm not really good
at writing letters...
259
00:16:13,540 --> 00:16:16,532
...especially the capital ones...
260
00:16:16,740 --> 00:16:19,652
- ...but for you, I'll do anything--
- Lonnie, move your ass!
261
00:16:19,860 --> 00:16:22,499
I will see you losers in hell.
262
00:16:23,020 --> 00:16:27,411
Super-premium unleaded only,
please.
263
00:16:28,180 --> 00:16:31,650
Jefferson, I feel so violated.
264
00:16:32,700 --> 00:16:33,689
Me too.
265
00:16:48,300 --> 00:16:51,531
- Is everybody okay?
- Yeah, I--
266
00:16:51,820 --> 00:16:53,139
Then get out.
267
00:16:58,660 --> 00:17:02,494
All right, get down and shut up.
Oh, this sucks.
268
00:17:02,700 --> 00:17:05,692
The minute I set foot in this dump,
my life went straight to hell.
269
00:17:05,900 --> 00:17:07,856
So did mine.
270
00:17:12,180 --> 00:17:13,215
Hello?
271
00:17:13,420 --> 00:17:15,331
It's the police.
272
00:17:15,540 --> 00:17:18,498
Yeah, Starla's here,
but she's busy holding us hostage...
273
00:17:18,700 --> 00:17:20,816
...but can I take a message?
274
00:17:21,540 --> 00:17:23,815
- Just give me the phone.
- What?
275
00:17:24,020 --> 00:17:26,250
Hello? This is Bud Bundy.
276
00:17:26,460 --> 00:17:28,451
Yeah, the guy with the dolls.
277
00:17:32,500 --> 00:17:34,252
Now, listen up, pigs.
278
00:17:34,460 --> 00:17:38,055
I want a car to the airport,
I want a plane to Brazil...
279
00:17:38,260 --> 00:17:40,899
...and $50,000 cash.
280
00:17:41,100 --> 00:17:43,933
I demand the same thing.
281
00:17:50,660 --> 00:17:53,254
And I need more Mountain Dew.
282
00:17:57,180 --> 00:17:59,978
Oh, Lord, I've never been in trouble
with the police before.
283
00:18:00,180 --> 00:18:01,169
Yeah, me neither.
284
00:18:01,380 --> 00:18:05,009
Well, except for graduation night
at the academy.
285
00:18:06,180 --> 00:18:08,933
Kelly, there's something
I've been meaning to tell you...
286
00:18:09,140 --> 00:18:11,131
...for several minutes.
287
00:18:12,380 --> 00:18:13,813
You make me feel all funny...
288
00:18:14,020 --> 00:18:17,171
...like my insides turned into
whipped cream.
289
00:18:18,020 --> 00:18:21,899
Well, when I look at you, my--
My legs turn to Jell-O.
290
00:18:22,100 --> 00:18:25,297
You know, whipped cream and Jell-O,
they go real good together.
291
00:18:25,500 --> 00:18:28,219
Oh, you're making me hungry.
292
00:18:29,020 --> 00:18:30,976
Come out with your hands up.
293
00:18:31,740 --> 00:18:34,732
Well, that's it.
I am gonna start offing people.
294
00:18:34,940 --> 00:18:38,376
Then you're gonna have to off me first,
Starla, because we're finished.
295
00:18:38,580 --> 00:18:40,218
I don't want a life of crime.
296
00:18:40,420 --> 00:18:42,376
But you want a life of trash?
297
00:18:42,580 --> 00:18:46,698
If that trash's name is Kelly Bundy,
then yes, ma'am, I do.
298
00:18:51,340 --> 00:18:53,695
I love you, Kelly.
299
00:18:56,940 --> 00:18:59,010
You happy now, Peg?
300
00:18:59,220 --> 00:19:03,099
You drove both our children
into the arms of criminals.
301
00:19:03,500 --> 00:19:07,288
Well, I just wanted them
to do better than I did.
302
00:19:08,100 --> 00:19:09,419
Lonnie...
303
00:19:09,620 --> 00:19:12,498
...I don't usually say this
fully clothed...
304
00:19:12,700 --> 00:19:14,736
...but I love you too.
305
00:19:15,820 --> 00:19:18,095
Oh, well, thank you very much,
blondie.
306
00:19:18,300 --> 00:19:21,656
You made it real easy for me
to decide who's getting it first.
307
00:19:21,860 --> 00:19:22,895
Starla, no!
308
00:19:34,580 --> 00:19:36,616
Al's been hit.
309
00:19:36,820 --> 00:19:38,173
Al, say something.
310
00:19:38,380 --> 00:19:39,449
Get out of the way.
311
00:19:39,660 --> 00:19:40,979
I know CPR.
312
00:19:41,180 --> 00:19:43,410
I'm fine.
313
00:19:44,580 --> 00:19:46,218
I'm fine.
314
00:19:46,420 --> 00:19:48,615
Oh, Al, we thought you were shot.
315
00:19:48,820 --> 00:19:51,175
Well, I was, Peg.
316
00:19:51,460 --> 00:19:56,011
I think my little lucky shoehorn
must have had a little luck left.
317
00:20:00,220 --> 00:20:01,733
All right, we're here.
318
00:20:01,940 --> 00:20:06,775
Sir, please dismount the suspect.
319
00:20:09,220 --> 00:20:10,539
Sir!
320
00:20:10,940 --> 00:20:13,773
- All right.
- Get off!
321
00:20:14,020 --> 00:20:15,533
You saved my life.
322
00:20:15,740 --> 00:20:17,776
Move, Dad!
323
00:20:19,260 --> 00:20:20,739
Hey, Kelly, who's gonna have...
324
00:20:20,940 --> 00:20:23,977
...the imprint of a shoehorn
in his chest the rest of his life?
325
00:20:24,180 --> 00:20:27,570
Daddy, this is no time for riddles,
okay?
326
00:20:28,020 --> 00:20:29,533
Lonnie almost died.
327
00:20:29,740 --> 00:20:30,775
Let's go, dirtbags.
328
00:20:30,980 --> 00:20:31,969
Wait, wait.
329
00:20:32,660 --> 00:20:34,890
Can we still be pen pals?
330
00:20:35,300 --> 00:20:36,858
Oh, what the hell.
331
00:20:37,060 --> 00:20:39,210
Write to me in care of the hole.
332
00:20:39,420 --> 00:20:41,092
Wait, wait!
333
00:20:41,300 --> 00:20:45,179
Kelly, this is not how I dreamt
of this moment.
334
00:20:45,820 --> 00:20:49,017
But neither could I have dreamt
of meeting someone as beautiful...
335
00:20:49,220 --> 00:20:52,292
...and perfect and smart as you.
336
00:20:52,700 --> 00:20:54,338
Kelly Bundy...
337
00:20:54,540 --> 00:20:55,768
...will you marry me?
338
00:20:57,580 --> 00:20:59,536
I thought you'd never ask.
339
00:21:02,340 --> 00:21:04,615
- I'll wait for you.
- I will too, my darling.
340
00:21:04,860 --> 00:21:09,251
No matter whose wife I am in prison,
I'll always be your husband.
341
00:21:16,100 --> 00:21:19,615
That is the sweetest thing
I've ever heard.
342
00:21:19,820 --> 00:21:22,778
Oh, Al, our little girl's
getting married.
343
00:21:23,020 --> 00:21:25,978
Isn't life wonderful?
344
00:21:26,500 --> 00:21:28,570
Damn you.
25646
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