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1
00:01:12,822 --> 00:01:15,033
DAVID: Whenever I get gloomy
with the state of the world,
2
00:01:15,116 --> 00:01:18,578
I think about
the arrivals gate
at Heathrow airport.
3
00:01:18,870 --> 00:01:20,121
General opinion
started to make out
4
00:01:20,205 --> 00:01:22,624
that we live
in a world of
hatred and greed,
5
00:01:22,707 --> 00:01:24,209
but I don't see that.
6
00:01:24,292 --> 00:01:26,711
Seems to me that
love is everywhere.
7
00:01:26,962 --> 00:01:29,965
Often
it's not particularly
dignified or newsworthy,
8
00:01:30,048 --> 00:01:31,800
but it's always there.
9
00:01:31,883 --> 00:01:33,468
Fathers and sons,
mothers and daughters,
10
00:01:33,551 --> 00:01:34,761
husbands and wives,
11
00:01:34,844 --> 00:01:37,597
boyfriends, girlfriends,
old friends.
12
00:01:38,640 --> 00:01:40,100
When the planes
hit the Twin Towers,
13
00:01:40,183 --> 00:01:42,644
as far as I know,
none of the phone calls
from the people on board
14
00:01:42,727 --> 00:01:45,355
were messages of
hate or revenge.
15
00:01:45,438 --> 00:01:47,649
They were all
messages of love.
16
00:01:47,816 --> 00:01:50,277
If you look for it,
I've got a sneaky feeling
17
00:01:50,360 --> 00:01:53,947
you'll find that love
actually is all around.
18
00:02:09,337 --> 00:02:12,590
(SINGING)
I feel it in my fingers
19
00:02:12,674 --> 00:02:15,927
I feel it in my toes
20
00:02:16,011 --> 00:02:20,765
Feel it in my toes, yeah
21
00:02:20,849 --> 00:02:25,270
Love is all around me
And so the...
22
00:02:25,854 --> 00:02:27,647
I'm afraid you
did it again, Bill.
23
00:02:27,731 --> 00:02:28,732
(SIGHS)
24
00:02:28,815 --> 00:02:32,235
It's just, I know the old
version so well, you know.
25
00:02:32,736 --> 00:02:34,779
Well, we all do.
26
00:02:34,904 --> 00:02:37,407
That's why
we're making
the new version.
27
00:02:37,532 --> 00:02:39,034
Right, okay, let's go.
28
00:02:39,868 --> 00:02:41,369
(MUSIC PLAYING)
29
00:02:42,746 --> 00:02:44,789
I feel it in my fingers
30
00:02:44,873 --> 00:02:45,915
In my fingers
31
00:02:45,999 --> 00:02:49,002
I feel it in my toes
32
00:02:49,252 --> 00:02:53,506
Feel it in my toes, yeah
33
00:02:54,174 --> 00:02:55,675
Love is all...
34
00:02:55,759 --> 00:02:59,471
Fuck, wank, bugger,
shitting ass head
and hole.
35
00:03:01,181 --> 00:03:03,350
(INHALES DEEPLY) Start again.
36
00:03:09,189 --> 00:03:11,691
I feel it in my fingers
37
00:03:11,775 --> 00:03:12,817
In my fingers
38
00:03:12,901 --> 00:03:15,820
I feel it in my toes
39
00:03:15,904 --> 00:03:20,575
Feel it in my toes, yeah
40
00:03:20,658 --> 00:03:22,827
Christmas is all around me
41
00:03:22,911 --> 00:03:23,953
All around me
42
00:03:24,037 --> 00:03:27,207
And so the feeling grows
43
00:03:27,290 --> 00:03:31,586
So the feeling grows
44
00:03:31,795 --> 00:03:34,255
It's written in the wind
45
00:03:34,339 --> 00:03:35,590
In the wind
46
00:03:35,673 --> 00:03:38,176
It's everywhere I go
47
00:03:38,635 --> 00:03:43,014
Everywhere I go
48
00:03:43,098 --> 00:03:45,517
So if you
really love Christmas
49
00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:46,643
Love Christmas
50
00:03:46,726 --> 00:03:49,187
Come on and let it snow
51
00:03:49,270 --> 00:03:51,439
Come on and let it...
52
00:03:51,523 --> 00:03:53,691
This is shit, isn't it?
53
00:03:53,983 --> 00:03:56,569
Yep,
solid gold shit, maestro.
54
00:04:20,677 --> 00:04:22,429
God, I'm so late.
55
00:04:22,512 --> 00:04:24,848
It's just round the corner.
You'll make it.
56
00:04:24,931 --> 00:04:27,725
You sure
you don't mind me
going without you?
57
00:04:27,809 --> 00:04:30,186
No, really.
I'm just feeling so rotten.
58
00:04:30,311 --> 00:04:31,688
I love you.
59
00:04:31,771 --> 00:04:32,939
I know.
60
00:04:33,022 --> 00:04:36,860
I love you
even when you're
sick and look disgusting.
61
00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:40,738
I know.
Now, go or you
will actually miss it.
62
00:04:40,864 --> 00:04:42,574
Right.
63
00:04:45,285 --> 00:04:46,953
Did I mention that I love you?
64
00:04:47,036 --> 00:04:49,873
Yes, you did.
Get out, loser.
65
00:05:06,973 --> 00:05:09,893
Karen, it's me again.
66
00:05:09,976 --> 00:05:14,147
(CHUCKLES) I'm sorry,
I literally don't have
anyone else to talk to.
67
00:05:15,231 --> 00:05:18,818
Absolutely.
Horrible moment right now,
though. Can I call you back?
68
00:05:18,902 --> 00:05:20,236
Of course.
69
00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:24,073
Doesn't mean I'm
not terribly concerned
that your wife just died.
70
00:05:24,616 --> 00:05:26,326
(CHUCKLES) Understood.
71
00:05:26,409 --> 00:05:28,745
Bugger off, call me later.
72
00:05:32,790 --> 00:05:34,501
So what's this
big news then?
73
00:05:34,584 --> 00:05:36,002
We've been
given our parts
in the nativity play...
74
00:05:36,085 --> 00:05:37,086
(GASPS)
75
00:05:37,170 --> 00:05:39,047
...and I'm the lobster.
76
00:05:39,130 --> 00:05:40,715
The lobster?
Yeah.
77
00:05:41,049 --> 00:05:42,383
In the nativity play?
78
00:05:42,467 --> 00:05:44,219
Yeah. First lobster.
79
00:05:44,302 --> 00:05:48,056
There was more than one
lobster present at the
birth of Jesus?
80
00:05:48,139 --> 00:05:49,140
Duh.
81
00:05:54,687 --> 00:05:56,940
Best sandwiches in Britain.
82
00:05:58,233 --> 00:06:00,443
Try my lovely nuts?
83
00:06:02,862 --> 00:06:05,240
Beautiful muffin
for a beautiful lady.
84
00:06:08,910 --> 00:06:10,995
Morning, my future wife.
85
00:06:12,914 --> 00:06:14,082
(SIGHS)
86
00:06:29,639 --> 00:06:31,349
MAN: Okay, you can
stop there. Thanks.
87
00:06:31,432 --> 00:06:34,310
I'm gonna need a couple
of orange gels, please,
mate.
88
00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:36,104
And by the way,
he introduced
me as John,
89
00:06:36,187 --> 00:06:37,564
but actually
everyone calls me Jack.
90
00:06:37,647 --> 00:06:40,567
Fine. Nice to meet you, Jack.
91
00:06:40,984 --> 00:06:43,236
He got me right, though.
I'm just Judy.
92
00:06:43,319 --> 00:06:45,071
Great, Just Judy!
93
00:06:45,154 --> 00:06:46,614
(LAUGHS)
94
00:06:50,368 --> 00:06:52,996
No surprises?
No surprises.
95
00:06:53,079 --> 00:06:54,998
Not like the stag night?
96
00:06:55,081 --> 00:06:56,874
Unlike the stag night.
97
00:06:56,958 --> 00:06:58,960
Do you admit the Brazilian
prostitutes were a mistake?
98
00:06:59,043 --> 00:07:00,461
I do.
99
00:07:00,587 --> 00:07:04,090
And it would've been
much better if they'd
not turned out to be men?
100
00:07:04,173 --> 00:07:06,175
That is true.
101
00:07:08,636 --> 00:07:10,722
Good luck, kiddo.
102
00:07:23,192 --> 00:07:24,777
(PEOPLE APPLAUDING)
103
00:07:28,656 --> 00:07:30,533
(PEOPLE CHEERING)
104
00:07:33,786 --> 00:07:36,539
REPORTERS: (SHOUTING)
Prime Minister!
105
00:07:45,840 --> 00:07:47,091
(PEOPLE WHISTLING)
106
00:07:47,884 --> 00:07:49,886
Thank you.
107
00:07:51,721 --> 00:07:52,930
Welcome, Prime Minister.
108
00:07:53,014 --> 00:07:55,683
(EXHALES) I must work
on my wave.
109
00:07:56,184 --> 00:07:57,226
How are you?
110
00:07:58,102 --> 00:08:00,313
How are you feeling?
111
00:08:00,396 --> 00:08:02,523
Cool. Powerful.
112
00:08:02,899 --> 00:08:05,318
Would you like to meet
your household staff?
113
00:08:05,443 --> 00:08:07,987
Yes, I would like
that very much indeed.
114
00:08:08,071 --> 00:08:11,074
Anything to put off
actually running the country.
115
00:08:12,909 --> 00:08:14,911
This
is Terence.
He's in charge.
116
00:08:14,994 --> 00:08:16,621
Good morning, sir.
Good morning.
117
00:08:16,704 --> 00:08:18,581
I had an uncle
called Terence once.
118
00:08:18,665 --> 00:08:20,124
Hated him.
I think he was a pervert.
119
00:08:20,208 --> 00:08:22,752
But I very much
like the look of you.
120
00:08:23,127 --> 00:08:25,088
This is Pat.
Hello, Pat.
121
00:08:25,171 --> 00:08:27,715
Good morning, sir.
I'm the housekeeper.
122
00:08:27,799 --> 00:08:30,259
Right. It should be
a lot easier with me
than with the last lot.
123
00:08:30,343 --> 00:08:33,221
No nappies, no teenagers,
no scary wife.
124
00:08:33,304 --> 00:08:36,224
And this is Natalie.
She's new, like you.
125
00:08:36,307 --> 00:08:38,309
Hello, Natalie.
Hello, David.
126
00:08:38,518 --> 00:08:40,061
I mean, sir.
127
00:08:40,144 --> 00:08:42,271
Shit,
I can't believe
I've just said that.
128
00:08:42,355 --> 00:08:46,150
And now I've
gone and said "shit."
Twice. I'm so sorry, sir.
129
00:08:46,359 --> 00:08:48,444
It's fine, it's fine.
You could've said "fuck"
130
00:08:48,528 --> 00:08:50,863
and then we'd have
been in real trouble.
Thank you, sir.
131
00:08:50,947 --> 00:08:54,534
I did have an awful
premonition I was gonna
fuck up on my first day.
132
00:08:55,368 --> 00:08:56,619
Oh, piss it!
133
00:08:56,703 --> 00:08:57,704
(LAUGHS)
134
00:08:58,162 --> 00:09:02,709
Right, I'll go get my things
and then let's fix the
country, shall we?
135
00:09:03,334 --> 00:09:05,169
Yeah,
I can't see why not.
136
00:09:18,391 --> 00:09:20,685
It's all right.
Did you see what I did?
137
00:09:20,768 --> 00:09:22,395
Yes, I did.
I just went...
138
00:09:23,020 --> 00:09:24,063
Hello, there.
139
00:09:24,147 --> 00:09:25,148
I'm right over here.
140
00:09:25,231 --> 00:09:28,192
Yeah, I'm in here.
Okay. Good. Thank you.
141
00:09:30,695 --> 00:09:32,113
(CLEARS THROAT)
142
00:09:35,116 --> 00:09:39,370
Oh, no.
That is so inconvenient.
143
00:09:42,874 --> 00:09:46,294
In the presence of God,
Peter and Juliet have
given their consent
144
00:09:46,377 --> 00:09:48,921
and made
their marriage
vows to each other.
145
00:09:49,005 --> 00:09:52,300
They've declared their
marriage by the giving
and receiving of rings.
146
00:09:52,383 --> 00:09:56,304
I therefore proclaim that
they are husband and wife.
147
00:09:58,389 --> 00:10:00,016
(ALL CHEERING)
148
00:10:00,099 --> 00:10:01,726
(ORGAN PLAYING)
149
00:10:02,351 --> 00:10:04,979
And you resisted the
temptation for surprises.
150
00:10:05,062 --> 00:10:07,148
Yeah, I'm mature now.
151
00:10:17,366 --> 00:10:20,328
(SINGING)
CHORUS: Love, love, love
152
00:10:21,704 --> 00:10:25,041
Love, love, love
153
00:10:27,210 --> 00:10:28,503
Did you do this?
154
00:10:30,254 --> 00:10:31,380
No.
155
00:10:31,464 --> 00:10:36,177
Love, love, love, love
156
00:10:38,262 --> 00:10:41,349
There's nothing you can do
that can't be done
157
00:10:41,432 --> 00:10:42,517
It...
158
00:10:42,600 --> 00:10:45,645
There's nothing you can sing
that can't be sung
159
00:10:46,896 --> 00:10:51,192
There's nothing you can say
but you can learn how to
play the game
160
00:10:51,275 --> 00:10:54,654
It's easy
161
00:10:56,280 --> 00:10:58,366
All you need is love
162
00:10:59,909 --> 00:11:00,993
(ALL LAUGHING)
163
00:11:01,077 --> 00:11:03,538
All you need is love
164
00:11:05,832 --> 00:11:09,836
All you need is love, love
165
00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:13,047
Love is all you need...
166
00:11:15,466 --> 00:11:17,844
Look, it's Pikey.
167
00:11:19,595 --> 00:11:20,805
(LAUGHING)
168
00:11:29,021 --> 00:11:31,607
Hello!
What the hell
are you doing here?
169
00:11:31,691 --> 00:11:34,819
I just popped over
to borrow some old CDs.
170
00:11:34,902 --> 00:11:36,320
The lady
of the house let
you in, did she?
171
00:11:36,404 --> 00:11:37,613
Yeah.
172
00:11:37,697 --> 00:11:39,699
Lovely, obliging girl.
173
00:11:39,782 --> 00:11:40,908
Yeah.
174
00:11:40,992 --> 00:11:42,368
All right,
I just thought I'd pop back
175
00:11:42,451 --> 00:11:44,036
before the reception
and see if she's better.
176
00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:48,374
This is good.
Listen, I've been thinking.
177
00:11:49,292 --> 00:11:50,835
I think perhaps
we ought to take
178
00:11:50,918 --> 00:11:53,254
Mum out for her
birthday on Friday.
What do you think?
179
00:11:53,337 --> 00:11:55,256
I just
feel we've been
bad sons this year.
180
00:11:55,339 --> 00:11:58,175
Okay, sounds fine.
A bit boring but fine.
181
00:11:58,259 --> 00:11:59,719
GIRL:
Hurry up, big boy!
182
00:11:59,802 --> 00:12:03,556
I'm naked, and I
want you at least twice
before Jamie gets home.
183
00:12:06,893 --> 00:12:08,269
(MUSIC PLAYING)
184
00:12:08,728 --> 00:12:10,187
(LAUGHING)
185
00:12:11,147 --> 00:12:13,107
(PEOPLE CHATTERING)
186
00:12:14,775 --> 00:12:16,903
JULIET: I am so
happy to see you!
187
00:12:18,237 --> 00:12:19,697
A delicious delicacy?
188
00:12:19,780 --> 00:12:21,157
No, thanks.
189
00:12:26,829 --> 00:12:29,040
Taste explosion?
190
00:12:41,218 --> 00:12:43,346
Food?
No, thanks.
191
00:12:43,471 --> 00:12:47,183
Yeah, a bit dodgy, isn't it?
Looks like a dead baby's
finger.
192
00:12:47,266 --> 00:12:48,684
(EXCLAIMS IN DISGUST)
193
00:12:49,185 --> 00:12:51,520
(EXCLAIMS)
Tastes like it, too.
194
00:12:55,483 --> 00:12:57,318
I'm Colin, by the way.
195
00:12:57,401 --> 00:12:59,862
I'm Nancy.
Wicked.
196
00:12:59,946 --> 00:13:02,406
What do you do, Nancy?
I'm a cook.
197
00:13:02,490 --> 00:13:04,325
Ever do weddings?
Yes, I do.
198
00:13:04,408 --> 00:13:06,285
They
should've asked
you to do this one.
199
00:13:06,369 --> 00:13:07,620
They did.
200
00:13:08,454 --> 00:13:10,957
God,
I wish you hadn't
have turned it down.
201
00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:12,166
I didn't.
202
00:13:12,249 --> 00:13:14,418
(GIGGLING) Right.
203
00:13:17,088 --> 00:13:19,131
I've just worked out
why I can never find
true love.
204
00:13:19,215 --> 00:13:20,257
Why is that?
205
00:13:20,341 --> 00:13:22,677
English girls.
They're stuck
up, you see.
206
00:13:22,760 --> 00:13:24,929
And I am primarily
attractive to girls
207
00:13:25,012 --> 00:13:27,390
who are, you know,
cooler, game for a laugh.
208
00:13:27,473 --> 00:13:31,727
Like American girls.
So I should just go
to America.
209
00:13:32,186 --> 00:13:34,230
I would get
a girlfriend
there instantly.
210
00:13:34,313 --> 00:13:35,314
What do you think?
211
00:13:35,398 --> 00:13:37,358
I think it's crap, Colin.
212
00:13:37,441 --> 00:13:39,318
That's where you're wrong.
213
00:13:39,402 --> 00:13:42,530
American girls
would seriously dig me
with my cute British accent.
214
00:13:42,613 --> 00:13:44,156
You don't have a cute
British accent.
215
00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:46,409
Yes, I do!
I'm going to America.
216
00:13:46,492 --> 00:13:50,287
Colin, you're a lonely,
ugly asshole, and you
must accept it.
217
00:13:50,413 --> 00:13:53,332
Never.
I am Colin,
God of Sex.
218
00:13:53,416 --> 00:13:55,418
I'm just on the wrong
continent, that's all.
219
00:13:55,501 --> 00:13:58,546
MAN: Bit of quiet while we
finish the lighting, guys!
220
00:13:59,213 --> 00:14:01,215
I thought I was never
gonna make it here today.
221
00:14:01,298 --> 00:14:03,009
The traffic was just...
Unbelievable.
222
00:14:03,092 --> 00:14:05,302
Judy, could you take
the top off this time?
223
00:14:05,386 --> 00:14:07,263
Lighting and camera need to
know when we're actually
gonna
224
00:14:07,346 --> 00:14:09,682
see the nipples
and when we're not.
225
00:14:09,765 --> 00:14:13,519
Yes, okay.
Right. At least it's
nice and warm in here.
226
00:14:13,602 --> 00:14:15,563
Yeah.
It's not always
the case, is it?
227
00:14:15,688 --> 00:14:18,399
I was standing
in for Brad Pitt once
on Seven Years in Tibet...
228
00:14:18,482 --> 00:14:20,985
Yes, yeah.
Bloody freezing.
229
00:14:21,652 --> 00:14:23,988
Sorry, guys, time's pretty
tight and we have to get
the actors in.
230
00:14:24,071 --> 00:14:26,282
Fine.
I promise I won't look.
231
00:14:26,365 --> 00:14:27,658
(LAUGHING)
232
00:14:28,909 --> 00:14:31,996
MAN: Right,
let's have another
look at that one, please.
233
00:14:44,216 --> 00:14:46,552
And Jerry says
if you can just put
your hands on her breasts.
234
00:14:46,635 --> 00:14:47,762
All right, okay, yeah.
Is that all right?
235
00:14:47,845 --> 00:14:49,180
Yes. Yeah, fine.
236
00:14:49,263 --> 00:14:51,015
I'll warm them up.
237
00:14:53,642 --> 00:14:55,436
And massage them, please.
238
00:14:55,519 --> 00:14:56,604
Right.
239
00:15:00,357 --> 00:15:01,358
(INHALES)
240
00:15:02,234 --> 00:15:04,403
It's
junction 13 that's
just murder, isn't it?
241
00:15:04,487 --> 00:15:06,864
Total gridlock this morning.
242
00:15:11,327 --> 00:15:15,790
Jo and I had a lot of time
to prepare for this moment.
243
00:15:16,207 --> 00:15:19,001
Some of
her requests,
for instance,
244
00:15:19,085 --> 00:15:24,465
that I should
bring Claudia Schiffer
as my date to the funeral,
245
00:15:24,548 --> 00:15:28,135
I was confident
she expected me
to ignore.
246
00:15:28,219 --> 00:15:31,555
But others she was
pretty damn clear
about.
247
00:15:32,681 --> 00:15:35,810
When she
first mentioned
what's about to happen,
248
00:15:37,061 --> 00:15:39,563
I said,
"Over my dead body."
249
00:15:39,772 --> 00:15:42,775
And she said,
"No, Daniel, over mine."
250
00:15:42,858 --> 00:15:46,070
And as usual,
my darling girl
251
00:15:47,738 --> 00:15:49,990
and Sam's
darling mom was right.
252
00:15:51,617 --> 00:15:56,539
So she's going to
say her final farewell
to you not through me but,
253
00:15:56,705 --> 00:16:01,377
inevitably, ever so coolly,
254
00:16:03,003 --> 00:16:06,715
through the
immortal genius of
the Bay City Rollers.
255
00:16:07,216 --> 00:16:11,428
(POP SONG PLAYING)
256
00:17:05,274 --> 00:17:06,734
Do you love him?
257
00:17:07,902 --> 00:17:09,862
What?
258
00:17:10,029 --> 00:17:13,449
No, I just thought I'd ask
the blunt question in case
it was the right one
259
00:17:13,532 --> 00:17:15,117
and you
needed someone
to talk to about it
260
00:17:15,201 --> 00:17:16,243
and no one had
ever asked you,
261
00:17:16,327 --> 00:17:18,787
so you've never been able to
talk about it though you
might've wanted to.
262
00:17:18,871 --> 00:17:23,167
No. No.
No is the answer.
No. Absolutely not.
263
00:17:25,628 --> 00:17:27,588
So that's a no, then?
264
00:17:27,671 --> 00:17:28,881
Yes.
265
00:17:34,595 --> 00:17:37,348
This DJ,
what do you reckon?
266
00:17:37,640 --> 00:17:40,392
The worst in history?
Probably.
267
00:17:40,726 --> 00:17:42,811
I think
it all hangs
on the next song.
268
00:17:43,103 --> 00:17:44,688
Now here's one
for the lovers.
269
00:17:44,772 --> 00:17:48,275
That's quite a few of you,
I shouldn't be surprised
and a half.
270
00:17:55,449 --> 00:17:58,702
He's done it, it's official.
Worst DJ in the world.
271
00:18:05,042 --> 00:18:06,543
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
272
00:18:08,212 --> 00:18:10,005
Sarah's waiting for you.
273
00:18:10,965 --> 00:18:13,634
Yes, of course.
274
00:18:14,301 --> 00:18:16,512
Great, good, good.
275
00:18:16,929 --> 00:18:18,639
How are you doing, Mia?
276
00:18:18,722 --> 00:18:20,766
Are you
settling in fine?
Learning who to avoid?
277
00:18:20,849 --> 00:18:22,559
Absolutely.
278
00:18:25,145 --> 00:18:26,313
Harry?
279
00:18:26,397 --> 00:18:30,776
Sarah, switch off your
phone and tell me exactly
280
00:18:31,193 --> 00:18:33,904
how long it is that
you've been working here.
281
00:18:36,699 --> 00:18:39,493
Two years, seven months,
282
00:18:39,868 --> 00:18:42,288
three days and, I suppose,
what, two hours?
283
00:18:42,371 --> 00:18:47,209
And how long have
you been in love with Karl,
our enigmatic chief designer?
284
00:18:48,544 --> 00:18:49,795
(LAUGHS)
285
00:18:53,924 --> 00:18:55,759
Two years,
seven months, three days
286
00:18:55,843 --> 00:18:58,637
and, I suppose,
an hour and 30
minutes.
287
00:18:58,721 --> 00:19:00,222
Thought as much.
288
00:19:00,306 --> 00:19:02,433
Do you think everybody knows?
Yes.
289
00:19:02,725 --> 00:19:04,601
Do you think Karl knows?
Yes.
290
00:19:05,894 --> 00:19:08,939
That is...
That is bad news.
291
00:19:09,023 --> 00:19:12,609
I just thought that
maybe the time had
come
292
00:19:12,693 --> 00:19:14,320
to do something about it.
293
00:19:15,321 --> 00:19:16,780
Like what?
294
00:19:16,864 --> 00:19:19,116
Invite him out for a drink,
and then after about 20
minutes,
295
00:19:19,199 --> 00:19:21,702
casually drop into
the conversation the fact
that you'd like to marry him
296
00:19:21,785 --> 00:19:22,828
and have lots of sex
and babies.
297
00:19:22,911 --> 00:19:25,205
You know that?
Yes.
298
00:19:26,415 --> 00:19:27,833
And so does Karl.
299
00:19:28,792 --> 00:19:30,919
Think about it,
for all our sakes.
300
00:19:31,587 --> 00:19:33,547
It's Christmas.
301
00:19:35,299 --> 00:19:39,970
Certainly. Excellent.
Will do. Thanks, boss.
302
00:19:42,973 --> 00:19:44,016
Hi, Sarah.
Hi, Karl.
303
00:19:44,099 --> 00:19:45,225
Excuse me.
304
00:19:47,478 --> 00:19:49,104
(CHRISTMAS SONG PLAYING)
305
00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:52,816
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
306
00:19:55,527 --> 00:19:58,822
Babe.
Absolutely, fire away.
307
00:19:59,865 --> 00:20:02,368
Mia, Mia, would
you turn that down?
308
00:20:04,328 --> 00:20:05,621
What is that?
309
00:20:05,954 --> 00:20:09,625
And that was
the Christmas effort by
the once great Billy Mack.
310
00:20:09,792 --> 00:20:12,586
Oh, dear me, how
are the mighty fallen.
311
00:20:12,795 --> 00:20:14,088
I can safely put my
hand up my ass and
say
312
00:20:14,171 --> 00:20:17,883
that is the worst record
I've heard this century...
313
00:20:18,509 --> 00:20:22,554
And, coincidentally,
I believe Billy will
be a guest
314
00:20:22,638 --> 00:20:25,265
on my friend
Mike's show in
a few minutes' time.
315
00:20:26,016 --> 00:20:28,143
Welcome back, Bill.
316
00:20:28,227 --> 00:20:30,771
So, Billy,
welcome back
to the airwaves.
317
00:20:30,854 --> 00:20:34,024
New Christmas single,
cover of Love Is All Around.
318
00:20:34,108 --> 00:20:39,238
Except we've changed the
word "love" to "Christmas."
319
00:20:39,446 --> 00:20:42,658
Yes,
is that an important
message to you, Bill?
320
00:20:42,866 --> 00:20:44,952
(SNORTS) Not really, Mike.
321
00:20:45,035 --> 00:20:49,581
Christmas is a time for people
with someone they love in
their lives.
322
00:20:49,665 --> 00:20:52,000
And that's not you?
That's not me, Michael.
323
00:20:52,292 --> 00:20:56,088
When I was
young and successful,
I was greedy and foolish,
324
00:20:56,171 --> 00:21:00,134
and now I'm
left with no one,
wrinkled and alone.
325
00:21:00,592 --> 00:21:03,178
Wow. Thanks for that, Bill.
For what?
326
00:21:03,262 --> 00:21:05,973
Well, for actually giving
a real answer to a question.
327
00:21:06,056 --> 00:21:09,726
It doesn't often happen here
at Radio Watford, I can tell
you.
328
00:21:09,810 --> 00:21:11,937
Ask me anything you like,
and I'll tell you the truth.
329
00:21:12,020 --> 00:21:13,772
Best shag you ever had?
330
00:21:13,856 --> 00:21:14,857
Britney Spears.
331
00:21:14,940 --> 00:21:15,941
Wow.
332
00:21:16,900 --> 00:21:18,569
No, only kidding!
333
00:21:18,652 --> 00:21:20,112
(SNORTS) She was rubbish.
334
00:21:20,195 --> 00:21:21,572
Okay, here's one.
335
00:21:21,655 --> 00:21:26,034
How do you think the new
record compares to your
old, classic stuff?
336
00:21:26,118 --> 00:21:29,705
Come on, Mikey,
you know as well as
I do the record's crap.
337
00:21:29,788 --> 00:21:30,998
(BILLY LAUGHING)
338
00:21:31,665 --> 00:21:34,751
But wouldn't it be great
if number one this Christmas
339
00:21:34,835 --> 00:21:37,087
wasn't some
smug teenager
340
00:21:37,171 --> 00:21:41,508
but an old ex-heroin addict
searching for a comeback
at any price?
341
00:21:41,842 --> 00:21:43,927
All those
young popsters
come Christmas day,
342
00:21:44,011 --> 00:21:47,848
they'll be stretched out naked
with a cute bird balancing on
their balls
343
00:21:48,056 --> 00:21:51,518
and I'll be stuck
in some dingy flat
with me manager, Joe,
344
00:21:51,602 --> 00:21:53,604
ugliest man in the world,
345
00:21:53,937 --> 00:21:57,983
fucking miserable
because our fucking
gamble didn't pay off.
346
00:21:58,066 --> 00:22:03,113
So if you believe in
Father Christmas, children,
like your Uncle Billy does,
347
00:22:03,697 --> 00:22:07,284
buy my festering
turd of a record.
348
00:22:07,618 --> 00:22:10,579
And particularly enjoy
the incredible crassness
349
00:22:10,662 --> 00:22:14,791
of the moment when
we try to squeeze an extra
syllable into the fourth line.
350
00:22:14,875 --> 00:22:17,211
I think you're referring to,
351
00:22:17,294 --> 00:22:19,922
"If you really
love Christmas..."
352
00:22:20,005 --> 00:22:21,882
"Come on and let it snow."
353
00:22:21,965 --> 00:22:22,966
(EXCLAIMS)
354
00:22:23,050 --> 00:22:25,093
So, here it is one more time,
355
00:22:25,177 --> 00:22:28,597
the dark horse
for this year's
Christmas number one,
356
00:22:28,764 --> 00:22:31,517
Christmas Is All Around.
Thank you, Billy.
357
00:22:31,600 --> 00:22:33,060
After this, the news.
358
00:22:33,143 --> 00:22:35,854
Is the
new prime minister
in trouble already?
359
00:22:41,860 --> 00:22:43,278
Okay. What's next?
360
00:22:43,362 --> 00:22:44,613
The President's visit.
361
00:22:44,696 --> 00:22:48,200
Yes, yes.
I fear this is going to
be a difficult one to play.
362
00:22:48,283 --> 00:22:49,409
Alex.
363
00:22:49,910 --> 00:22:52,204
There's a very
strong feeling
in the party
364
00:22:52,287 --> 00:22:54,081
we mustn't allow
ourselves to be
bullied
365
00:22:54,164 --> 00:22:55,457
from pillar to post
like the last government.
366
00:22:55,541 --> 00:22:56,625
ALL: Hear, hear.
367
00:22:56,708 --> 00:22:59,002
This is our first
really important test.
368
00:22:59,086 --> 00:23:00,754
Let's take a stand.
369
00:23:00,837 --> 00:23:05,717
Right. Right.
I understand that,
but I have decided
370
00:23:07,010 --> 00:23:08,971
not to. Not this time.
371
00:23:09,346 --> 00:23:10,973
We will, of course,
try to be clever.
372
00:23:11,056 --> 00:23:13,809
But let's not forget
that America is the most
powerful country in the world.
373
00:23:13,892 --> 00:23:16,270
I'm not going to act
like a petulant child.
374
00:23:18,605 --> 00:23:19,982
Right,
who do you have
to screw around here
375
00:23:20,065 --> 00:23:22,234
to get a cup of tea
and a chocolate biscuit?
376
00:23:22,317 --> 00:23:23,652
(ALL LAUGHING)
377
00:23:29,283 --> 00:23:30,409
Right.
378
00:23:31,410 --> 00:23:32,744
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
379
00:23:32,828 --> 00:23:34,121
Yeah, come in.
380
00:23:39,084 --> 00:23:44,089
These have just come through
from the treasury and these
are for you.
381
00:23:45,132 --> 00:23:46,925
Excellent.
Thanks a lot.
382
00:23:47,259 --> 00:23:49,303
I was hoping you'd win,
383
00:23:49,386 --> 00:23:50,971
not that I wouldn't have been
nice to the other bloke, too.
384
00:23:51,054 --> 00:23:53,890
Just always given him
the boring biscuits
with no chocolate.
385
00:23:53,974 --> 00:23:55,100
(LAUGHS)
386
00:23:55,183 --> 00:23:57,019
Thanks very much. Thanks...
387
00:23:58,604 --> 00:24:00,689
Natalie.
388
00:24:05,152 --> 00:24:10,032
God, come on, get a grip.
You're the prime minister,
for God's sake.
389
00:24:12,492 --> 00:24:14,828
So what do you reckon to
our new prime minister then?
390
00:24:14,911 --> 00:24:19,041
I like him.
I can't understand why
he's not married, though.
391
00:24:19,207 --> 00:24:22,419
You know the type,
he's married to his job.
392
00:24:22,544 --> 00:24:25,631
Either that or gay
as a picnic basket.
393
00:24:25,839 --> 00:24:29,176
Excuse me, Judy,
if you could just
lower the nipples
394
00:24:29,259 --> 00:24:30,260
and cheat them
a bit to the left?
395
00:24:30,344 --> 00:24:31,470
Okay.
396
00:24:35,223 --> 00:24:37,684
I have to say, Judy,
this is a real pleasure.
397
00:24:37,768 --> 00:24:41,271
It's lovely
to find someone
I can actually chat to.
398
00:24:41,563 --> 00:24:43,523
Thank you.
Well, you know...
399
00:24:43,774 --> 00:24:45,192
And ditto.
Thank you.
400
00:24:45,317 --> 00:24:47,361
And the move again,
please, Judy.
401
00:24:47,861 --> 00:24:48,987
Sorry.
God, sorry.
402
00:24:49,071 --> 00:24:51,198
Are you all right?
Yeah, fine.
403
00:24:53,283 --> 00:24:55,160
Exciting news!
404
00:24:55,243 --> 00:24:56,286
What?
405
00:24:56,370 --> 00:24:59,956
I've bought
a ticket to the States.
I'm off in three weeks.
406
00:25:00,040 --> 00:25:01,249
No.
Yes!
407
00:25:01,333 --> 00:25:04,336
To a fantastic
place called Wisconsin.
408
00:25:04,419 --> 00:25:05,462
No!
409
00:25:05,545 --> 00:25:09,049
(HORN HONKING)
Yes! Wisconsin babes,
here comes Sir Colin!
410
00:25:09,132 --> 00:25:13,845
No, Col!
There are a few babes
in America, I grant you,
411
00:25:13,929 --> 00:25:16,556
but they're
already going out
with rich, attractive guys.
412
00:25:16,640 --> 00:25:19,518
Tone,
you're just jealous.
413
00:25:19,601 --> 00:25:23,563
You know perfectly well
that any bar anywhere
in America
414
00:25:23,647 --> 00:25:28,151
contains 10 girls
more beautiful and more
likely to have sex with me
415
00:25:28,235 --> 00:25:29,569
than the whole of
the United Kingdom.
416
00:25:29,653 --> 00:25:32,656
That is total bollocks.
You've actually gone
mad now.
417
00:25:32,739 --> 00:25:37,786
No, I'm wise. Stateside I am
Prince William without the
weird family.
418
00:25:37,869 --> 00:25:39,413
No, Colin, no!
419
00:25:39,496 --> 00:25:41,248
(BOTH SPEAKING RUSSIAN)
Yes!
420
00:25:41,331 --> 00:25:43,041
(SPEAKING GERMAN)
Ja, darling!
421
00:25:43,125 --> 00:25:46,378
Right, the Christmas party,
not my favorite night of
the year
422
00:25:46,461 --> 00:25:49,047
and your unhappy
job to organize.
423
00:25:49,131 --> 00:25:50,298
Tell me.
424
00:25:50,382 --> 00:25:52,092
It's basic, really.
425
00:25:52,175 --> 00:25:56,138
Find a venue, over-order on
the drinks, bulk buy the
guacamole
426
00:25:56,221 --> 00:26:00,142
and advise the girls to avoid
Kevin if they want their
breasts unfondled.
427
00:26:00,350 --> 00:26:02,352
Wives and family and stuff?
428
00:26:02,436 --> 00:26:04,521
Yeah.
I mean, not children.
429
00:26:04,604 --> 00:26:08,233
But their wives and
girlfriends, et cetera.
430
00:26:08,316 --> 00:26:11,194
Oh, Christ, you haven't
got some horrible six-foot,
431
00:26:11,278 --> 00:26:14,072
tight-T-shirt-wearing
boyfriend you'll
be bringing, have you?
432
00:26:14,156 --> 00:26:18,744
No. I'll just be hanging
around the mistletoe,
hoping to be kissed.
433
00:26:20,287 --> 00:26:21,413
Really?
434
00:26:23,081 --> 00:26:24,082
Right.
435
00:26:34,259 --> 00:26:36,678
He now spends all
the time in his room.
436
00:26:36,762 --> 00:26:38,096
I mean,
he'll be up there now.
437
00:26:38,180 --> 00:26:41,516
That's nothing unusual
about that. My horrid
son...
438
00:26:41,600 --> 00:26:42,768
Bernard?
Bernard.
439
00:26:42,851 --> 00:26:46,605
Stays in his room all
the time. Thank goodness.
440
00:26:46,688 --> 00:26:49,191
Yeah, but, Karen,
this is all the time.
441
00:26:51,193 --> 00:26:54,321
I'm afraid that
there's something
really wrong, you know?
442
00:26:55,405 --> 00:26:56,782
I mean,
clearly it's
about his mom,
443
00:26:56,865 --> 00:27:01,995
but, Christ, he might
be injecting heroin into
his eyeballs for all I know.
444
00:27:02,788 --> 00:27:04,206
KAREN: At the age of 11?
445
00:27:04,289 --> 00:27:06,666
DANIEL: Well, maybe
not his eyeballs, then.
446
00:27:06,750 --> 00:27:08,710
Maybe just his veins.
447
00:27:08,794 --> 00:27:10,712
You see,
the problem is
it was his mom
448
00:27:10,796 --> 00:27:13,423
who always
used to talk to
him, you know, and...
449
00:27:14,674 --> 00:27:18,094
I don't know, this
whole stepfather thing
450
00:27:18,178 --> 00:27:22,182
seems suddenly
to somehow matter
like it never did before.
451
00:27:22,265 --> 00:27:27,103
Listen,
it was always going to
be a totally shit time.
452
00:27:27,270 --> 00:27:28,730
Just be patient.
453
00:27:29,981 --> 00:27:32,234
And maybe check
the room for needles.
454
00:27:32,317 --> 00:27:34,945
And then when he
sometimes does come out,
455
00:27:35,028 --> 00:27:37,155
it's obvious
he's been crying.
456
00:27:41,660 --> 00:27:42,994
(CRYING)
457
00:27:46,373 --> 00:27:49,960
It's just such
a ridiculous waste.
458
00:27:50,460 --> 00:27:53,338
And now if
it's going to ruin
Sam's life as well...
459
00:27:54,714 --> 00:27:56,299
I just don't know.
460
00:27:58,009 --> 00:28:02,138
Get a grip.
People hate sissies.
461
00:28:02,514 --> 00:28:05,392
No one's
ever gonna shag you
if you cry all the time.
462
00:28:06,017 --> 00:28:08,812
Yeah. Absolutely.
463
00:28:08,979 --> 00:28:10,981
Helpful.
464
00:28:18,738 --> 00:28:22,784
So, what's the
problem, Samuel?
465
00:28:24,286 --> 00:28:28,957
Is it just Mom or
is it something else?
466
00:28:30,750 --> 00:28:32,836
Maybe school?
467
00:28:33,879 --> 00:28:35,755
Are you being bullied?
468
00:28:37,340 --> 00:28:39,467
Or is it something worse?
469
00:28:41,344 --> 00:28:43,555
Can you give me
any clues at all?
470
00:28:45,056 --> 00:28:47,183
You really want to know?
471
00:28:47,267 --> 00:28:48,518
I really want to know.
472
00:28:48,602 --> 00:28:51,146
Even though you won't be
able to do anything to help?
473
00:28:51,229 --> 00:28:53,523
Even if that's the case,
yeah.
474
00:28:55,483 --> 00:28:58,069
Okay. Well...
475
00:28:59,279 --> 00:29:01,740
Truth is, actually,
476
00:29:02,991 --> 00:29:04,284
I'm in love.
477
00:29:04,993 --> 00:29:06,494
Sorry?
478
00:29:06,703 --> 00:29:09,456
I know I should
be thinking about Mom
all the time and I am,
479
00:29:09,539 --> 00:29:11,166
but the truth is I'm in love.
480
00:29:11,249 --> 00:29:13,793
I was before she died,
and there's nothing
I can do about it.
481
00:29:13,877 --> 00:29:15,462
(LAUGHS)
482
00:29:15,545 --> 00:29:18,715
Aren't you a bit
young to be in love?
483
00:29:18,798 --> 00:29:19,841
No.
484
00:29:19,925 --> 00:29:22,636
Well, okay, well...
485
00:29:24,387 --> 00:29:27,057
I mean,
I'm a little relieved.
486
00:29:28,183 --> 00:29:30,143
Why?
Because I
487
00:29:30,226 --> 00:29:32,437
thought it would
be something worse.
488
00:29:32,771 --> 00:29:35,649
Worse than the total
agony of being in love?
489
00:29:38,526 --> 00:29:42,238
No, you're right.
Total agony.
490
00:30:20,443 --> 00:30:21,528
Night, Sarah.
491
00:30:21,611 --> 00:30:22,821
Night, Karl.
492
00:30:27,283 --> 00:30:28,660
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
493
00:30:32,497 --> 00:30:34,499
Yeah, absolutely.
494
00:30:36,001 --> 00:30:37,669
Free as a bird. Fire away.
495
00:31:09,659 --> 00:31:11,494
Alone again.
496
00:31:12,912 --> 00:31:14,080
Naturally.
497
00:31:14,748 --> 00:31:16,124
I'll deal with it.
498
00:31:16,207 --> 00:31:17,375
All right.
499
00:31:19,002 --> 00:31:20,920
Natalie.
Sir.
500
00:31:23,882 --> 00:31:26,468
Thanks. Natalie.
501
00:31:29,637 --> 00:31:32,265
I'm starting to feel
502
00:31:34,059 --> 00:31:37,395
uncomfortable
about us working in such
close proximity every day
503
00:31:37,479 --> 00:31:38,813
and me knowing so
little about you.
504
00:31:38,897 --> 00:31:42,108
It seems...
It seems elitist and wrong.
505
00:31:42,650 --> 00:31:44,527
Well,
there's not
much to know.
506
00:31:44,736 --> 00:31:48,114
Well, where do you live,
for instance?
507
00:31:48,406 --> 00:31:50,492
Wandsworth. The dodgy end.
508
00:31:50,992 --> 00:31:54,245
My sister lives in Wandsworth.
Yeah.
509
00:31:55,371 --> 00:31:57,582
So which exactly
is the dodgy end?
510
00:31:57,999 --> 00:31:59,417
Right at the end
of the High Street,
511
00:31:59,501 --> 00:32:01,753
Harris Street,
near the Queen's Head.
512
00:32:01,836 --> 00:32:03,880
Yeah, yeah, that is dodgy.
513
00:32:04,422 --> 00:32:08,802
And
you live with your
husband? Boyfriend?
514
00:32:09,844 --> 00:32:11,679
Three illegitimate
but charming children?
515
00:32:11,763 --> 00:32:12,806
No.
516
00:32:12,889 --> 00:32:14,474
I've just split up with
my boyfriend, actually,
517
00:32:14,557 --> 00:32:17,352
so I'm back with my
mom and dad for a while.
518
00:32:19,062 --> 00:32:20,438
Sorry.
519
00:32:20,522 --> 00:32:22,107
No, it's fine.
520
00:32:22,190 --> 00:32:26,111
I'm well shot of him.
He said I was getting fat.
521
00:32:26,194 --> 00:32:27,362
I beg your pardon?
522
00:32:27,445 --> 00:32:31,449
He said no one's gonna fancy
a girl with thighs the size
of big tree trunks.
523
00:32:31,533 --> 00:32:34,035
Not a nice guy, actually,
in the end.
524
00:32:35,620 --> 00:32:37,622
No.
525
00:32:40,041 --> 00:32:41,459
(SNICKERS)
526
00:32:44,796 --> 00:32:46,923
You know,
527
00:32:47,715 --> 00:32:50,552
being prime minister,
I could just have
him murdered.
528
00:32:50,635 --> 00:32:51,719
(CHUCKLES)
529
00:32:51,803 --> 00:32:54,180
Thank you, sir.
I'll think about it.
530
00:32:54,681 --> 00:32:58,351
Do. The SAS are
absolutely charming.
531
00:32:58,434 --> 00:33:02,272
Ruthless, trained killers
are just a phone call away.
532
00:33:08,027 --> 00:33:10,029
Oh, God.
533
00:33:12,699 --> 00:33:14,826
Did you have this kind
of problem?
534
00:33:17,412 --> 00:33:19,664
Yeah, course you did,
you saucy minx.
535
00:33:20,165 --> 00:33:23,459
So, let's go.
We can definitely crack this.
536
00:33:23,668 --> 00:33:26,004
Remember,
I was a kid once, too.
537
00:33:26,421 --> 00:33:30,592
So, come on, it's
someone at school.
Right?
538
00:33:30,675 --> 00:33:32,302
Yeah.
Good, good.
539
00:33:32,385 --> 00:33:35,680
And what does she,
he, feel about you?
540
00:33:35,763 --> 00:33:38,558
She doesn't even know my name.
541
00:33:38,725 --> 00:33:41,227
And even if she did,
she'd despise me.
542
00:33:41,644 --> 00:33:43,646
She's the coolest girl
in school,
543
00:33:43,855 --> 00:33:46,733
and everyone worships
her because she's heaven.
544
00:33:48,234 --> 00:33:50,695
Good. Good.
545
00:33:51,863 --> 00:33:56,826
(SIGHS) Well, basically
you're fucked, aren't you?
546
00:33:59,913 --> 00:34:01,331
(PEOPLE CHEERING)
547
00:34:02,916 --> 00:34:05,501
Hi there, and welcome back.
548
00:34:05,585 --> 00:34:07,629
So, Billy, three weeks
till Christmas,
549
00:34:07,712 --> 00:34:09,964
looks like the real
competition is gonna be Blue.
550
00:34:10,048 --> 00:34:12,592
Yeah,
I saw them on
the show last week.
551
00:34:12,675 --> 00:34:14,427
They weren't very nice
about my record.
552
00:34:14,510 --> 00:34:15,970
No. Little scamps.
553
00:34:16,054 --> 00:34:17,096
(LAUGHING)
554
00:34:17,180 --> 00:34:20,475
But very, very
talented musicians.
555
00:34:21,142 --> 00:34:24,604
Yeah. Billy, I understand
you've got a prize
for our competition winners.
556
00:34:24,687 --> 00:34:30,235
Yes, I have, Ant or Dec.
It's a personalized
felt-tip pen.
557
00:34:30,652 --> 00:34:31,903
Great.
558
00:34:31,986 --> 00:34:35,823
It's brilliant.
It even writes
on glass,
559
00:34:36,074 --> 00:34:38,284
so if you've got
a framed picture,
560
00:34:38,368 --> 00:34:40,662
like,
for instance,
this one of Blue,
561
00:34:40,745 --> 00:34:42,747
you can just write on it.
562
00:34:55,510 --> 00:34:56,552
(KIDS SNICKERING)
563
00:34:56,636 --> 00:34:59,013
DEC:
A lot of kids
watching, Billy.
564
00:34:59,097 --> 00:35:00,306
BILLY: Yeah.
565
00:35:00,848 --> 00:35:03,518
Hiya, kids.
566
00:35:03,601 --> 00:35:06,688
Here's an
important message
from your Uncle Bill.
567
00:35:06,896 --> 00:35:08,982
Don't buy drugs.
568
00:35:11,359 --> 00:35:14,028
Become a pop star
and they give you
them for free.
569
00:35:14,112 --> 00:35:16,781
(CROWD GASPING)
And I do believe
it's a commercial break.
570
00:35:16,864 --> 00:35:19,158
Thank goodness. We'll
see you soon. Bye-bye.
571
00:35:19,242 --> 00:35:20,868
(CROWD CHEERING)
572
00:35:28,251 --> 00:35:29,669
(LAUGHING)
573
00:35:31,921 --> 00:35:33,464
Look at him!
574
00:35:33,548 --> 00:35:35,425
Just a minute.
575
00:35:35,508 --> 00:35:37,969
Actually,
they're not
funny. They're art.
576
00:35:39,262 --> 00:35:40,888
(ALL LAUGHING)
577
00:35:42,598 --> 00:35:44,976
Okay, let's say
Thursday, my place.
578
00:35:45,393 --> 00:35:47,603
Great. But for now
I've got Juliet on
the other line.
579
00:35:47,687 --> 00:35:49,981
Can I patch you through?
She wants to ask you a favor.
580
00:35:50,064 --> 00:35:51,649
(SIGHS) Okay, fine.
581
00:35:51,733 --> 00:35:54,652
Thanks and be nice.
582
00:35:54,736 --> 00:35:56,279
I'm always nice.
583
00:35:56,362 --> 00:35:59,741
You know what I mean,
Marky, be friendly.
584
00:35:59,824 --> 00:36:01,909
I'm always...
JULIET: Mark?
585
00:36:02,493 --> 00:36:05,204
Hi. How was the honeymoon?
586
00:36:05,538 --> 00:36:08,333
It was great. And thanks
for the gorgeous sendoff.
587
00:36:08,708 --> 00:36:09,792
So, what can I do for you?
588
00:36:09,876 --> 00:36:11,544
It's only a tiny favor.
589
00:36:11,627 --> 00:36:14,714
I've just
tried the wedding video,
and it's a complete disaster.
590
00:36:14,797 --> 00:36:16,674
It's come out
all blue and wibbly.
591
00:36:16,758 --> 00:36:17,759
I'm sorry.
592
00:36:17,842 --> 00:36:19,927
I remember you
filming a lot in the day
593
00:36:20,011 --> 00:36:21,763
and I just wondered if I
could look at your stuff.
594
00:36:21,846 --> 00:36:23,765
No, look,
to be honest,
I didn't really...
595
00:36:23,848 --> 00:36:27,101
Please. All I want
is just one shot of
me in a wedding dress
596
00:36:27,185 --> 00:36:28,978
that isn't bright turquoise.
597
00:36:29,312 --> 00:36:31,898
Okay, I'll have
a look, but to be honest,
I'm pretty sure I wiped it,
598
00:36:31,981 --> 00:36:33,733
so don't get any hopes up.
599
00:36:33,816 --> 00:36:35,151
Must go.
600
00:36:41,407 --> 00:36:43,868
Any progress with
our matchmaking plans?
601
00:36:43,951 --> 00:36:47,997
No. I've done fuck-all
and never will because
he's too good for me.
602
00:36:48,081 --> 00:36:50,083
How true.
603
00:36:52,043 --> 00:36:53,586
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
SARAH: Stop.
604
00:36:53,669 --> 00:36:55,838
And, of course,
your mobile goes.
605
00:36:57,006 --> 00:36:59,801
Hello. Hi. How you doing?
606
00:37:00,802 --> 00:37:02,595
So, how's the
Christmas party going?
607
00:37:02,678 --> 00:37:03,763
Good.
608
00:37:03,846 --> 00:37:05,890
Think I've found a venue.
Friend of mine works there.
609
00:37:05,973 --> 00:37:07,892
What's it like?
610
00:37:07,975 --> 00:37:09,227
Good. Good.
611
00:37:09,560 --> 00:37:14,524
It's an art gallery.
Full of dark corners
for doing dark deeds.
612
00:37:16,692 --> 00:37:17,819
(CHUCKLES)
613
00:37:18,069 --> 00:37:19,153
Right.
614
00:37:20,321 --> 00:37:22,657
Good. Well,
I suppose I should
615
00:37:22,740 --> 00:37:24,659
take a look at
it or something.
616
00:37:24,909 --> 00:37:26,953
You should.
617
00:37:34,252 --> 00:37:35,837
(TYPEWRITER CLACKING)
618
00:37:37,046 --> 00:37:38,423
(BELL TINKLES)
619
00:37:44,929 --> 00:37:47,849
(BOTH SPEAKING FRENCH)
620
00:37:47,932 --> 00:37:51,811
Welcome back. And this year
you bring a lady guest?
621
00:37:51,894 --> 00:37:54,981
No. There's a change
of situation. Just me.
622
00:37:55,356 --> 00:37:57,650
Am I sad or not sad?
623
00:37:57,733 --> 00:37:59,360
I think you're not surprised.
624
00:37:59,444 --> 00:38:01,279
And
you stay here
till Christmas?
625
00:38:01,362 --> 00:38:02,405
Yeah, yeah.
626
00:38:02,488 --> 00:38:07,493
Good. Well, I find you
a perfect lady to
clean the house.
627
00:38:07,952 --> 00:38:10,163
This is Aurelia.
628
00:38:14,083 --> 00:38:16,919
(SPEAKING FRENCH)
629
00:38:17,170 --> 00:38:20,047
(MUMBLING IN FRENCH)
630
00:38:22,550 --> 00:38:26,721
Unfortunately, she cannot
speak French, just like you.
631
00:38:26,971 --> 00:38:28,973
She's Portuguese.
632
00:38:30,099 --> 00:38:32,852
(MUMBLING IN ITALIAN)
633
00:38:34,353 --> 00:38:36,481
(SPEAKING IN
ITALIAN AND SPANISH)
634
00:38:37,565 --> 00:38:40,026
I think
she's 10 years
too young to remember
635
00:38:40,109 --> 00:38:42,361
there was a footballer
called Eusebio.
636
00:38:42,445 --> 00:38:44,739
And "molto bueno" is Spanish.
637
00:38:44,947 --> 00:38:46,365
Right. Right.
638
00:38:46,532 --> 00:38:49,202
Anyway, it's nice
to meet you and...
639
00:38:49,994 --> 00:38:51,954
Perhaps
you can drive her home
at the end of her work?
640
00:38:52,038 --> 00:38:53,080
Absolutely, yes.
641
00:38:53,164 --> 00:38:55,541
(BLABBERING)
642
00:38:56,083 --> 00:38:58,002
Which is what? Turkish?
643
00:39:06,052 --> 00:39:07,553
(SPEAKING ITALIAN)
644
00:39:09,931 --> 00:39:11,140
(SPEAKING ITALIAN)
645
00:39:20,233 --> 00:39:22,944
No, right.
Silence is golden.
646
00:39:25,112 --> 00:39:26,989
As the Tremeloes said.
647
00:39:29,116 --> 00:39:31,911
Clever guys,
although I think
the original version
648
00:39:31,994 --> 00:39:35,957
was by
Frankie Valli
& the Four Seasons.
649
00:39:36,123 --> 00:39:38,084
Great band.
650
00:39:38,167 --> 00:39:39,627
(HIGH-PITCHED HUMMING)
651
00:39:40,711 --> 00:39:41,963
Shut up.
652
00:39:43,965 --> 00:39:45,216
(PEOPLE CHEERING)
653
00:39:50,012 --> 00:39:51,430
(PEOPLE APPLAUDING)
654
00:39:53,808 --> 00:39:55,476
REPORTERS: Mr. President!
655
00:39:57,061 --> 00:39:58,062
MAN: Over here, sir!
656
00:39:58,145 --> 00:40:00,064
What will you
be talking about?
657
00:40:02,775 --> 00:40:04,026
Mr. President, welcome.
658
00:40:04,110 --> 00:40:05,403
It's a pleasure to meet you.
659
00:40:05,486 --> 00:40:06,779
Come on through.
660
00:40:06,862 --> 00:40:08,114
I'm sorry
your wife couldn't
make it, by the way.
661
00:40:08,197 --> 00:40:11,701
So is she.
Although she would have
been kind of lonely, I'm sure.
662
00:40:11,784 --> 00:40:16,205
Yes. Pathetic, isn't it?
Just never been able to
tie a girl down.
663
00:40:16,706 --> 00:40:18,958
Not sure
that politics and
dating really go together.
664
00:40:19,041 --> 00:40:22,128
Really?
I've never found that.
665
00:40:22,211 --> 00:40:23,963
Yeah, well, the difference is
you're still sickeningly
handsome,
666
00:40:24,046 --> 00:40:26,966
whereas
I look increasingly
like my Aunt Mildred.
667
00:40:27,133 --> 00:40:28,843
Very jealous of your plane,
by the way.
668
00:40:28,926 --> 00:40:31,679
Thank you. We love that
thing, I'll tell you.
669
00:40:31,762 --> 00:40:33,639
Natalie. Hi.
670
00:40:33,723 --> 00:40:36,142
Morning, ma'am.
How's your day
so far?
671
00:40:36,767 --> 00:40:37,768
(GIGGLES)
672
00:40:38,019 --> 00:40:39,437
Excellent.
673
00:40:41,564 --> 00:40:42,607
(SIGHS)
674
00:40:42,690 --> 00:40:45,568
My goodness,
that's a pretty little
son of a bitch, right there.
675
00:40:45,651 --> 00:40:47,612
Did you see those pipes?
676
00:40:47,945 --> 00:40:51,198
Yeah, yeah,
she's terrific at her job.
677
00:40:51,532 --> 00:40:55,953
No, absolutely not.
We cannot and will not
consult on that, either.
678
00:40:56,037 --> 00:40:57,830
That is unexpected.
679
00:40:58,039 --> 00:41:00,166
Well, it shouldn't be.
680
00:41:00,249 --> 00:41:03,294
The last administration
made it perfectly clear.
681
00:41:03,794 --> 00:41:06,005
We're just
being consistent
with their policies.
682
00:41:06,088 --> 00:41:08,924
Well,
with all respect, sir,
they were bad policies.
683
00:41:09,467 --> 00:41:10,885
All right, thanks, Alex.
684
00:41:10,968 --> 00:41:16,599
I don't think we're
making progress here.
Let's move on, shall we?
685
00:41:19,060 --> 00:41:22,563
Well, now, that was
an interesting day.
686
00:41:24,273 --> 00:41:25,983
Sorry if our line was firm,
687
00:41:26,067 --> 00:41:28,069
but there's no point in
tiptoeing around today,
688
00:41:28,152 --> 00:41:30,780
then just disappointing you
for four years.
689
00:41:31,113 --> 00:41:34,158
I mean, I have plans
and I plan to see
them through.
690
00:41:34,241 --> 00:41:37,161
Absolutely. Now, there is
one final thing I think
we should look at.
691
00:41:37,244 --> 00:41:40,081
It's very
close to my heart.
Just give me a second.
692
00:41:40,373 --> 00:41:42,875
I'll give you anything
you ask for.
693
00:41:43,209 --> 00:41:46,212
As long as
it's not something
I don't wanna give.
694
00:41:51,300 --> 00:41:52,885
Hi.
695
00:41:52,968 --> 00:41:54,970
Pathetic.
696
00:42:16,075 --> 00:42:17,326
It's great Scotch.
697
00:42:19,203 --> 00:42:22,081
I'll...
I'll be going, then.
698
00:42:24,500 --> 00:42:26,335
Natalie,
699
00:42:26,794 --> 00:42:29,880
I hope to see
much more of you as
our two great countries
700
00:42:29,964 --> 00:42:31,716
work toward
a better future.
701
00:42:32,258 --> 00:42:33,634
Thank you, sir.
702
00:42:44,854 --> 00:42:46,439
(CAMERAS CLICKING)
703
00:42:51,026 --> 00:42:52,695
Yes, Peter.
704
00:42:52,778 --> 00:42:55,239
Mr. President,
has it been a good visit?
705
00:42:55,448 --> 00:42:58,284
Very satisfactory indeed.
706
00:42:58,367 --> 00:43:00,661
We got what we came for,
707
00:43:01,328 --> 00:43:04,415
and our
special relationship
is still very special.
708
00:43:04,498 --> 00:43:06,917
And, Prime Minister?
709
00:43:07,418 --> 00:43:09,253
I love that word
"relationship."
710
00:43:09,336 --> 00:43:11,672
Covers all manner of sins,
doesn't it?
711
00:43:12,131 --> 00:43:15,676
I fear that
this has become
a bad relationship,
712
00:43:16,761 --> 00:43:20,681
a relationship
based on the President
taking exactly what he wants
713
00:43:21,015 --> 00:43:25,853
and casually ignoring all
those things that really
matter to
714
00:43:28,856 --> 00:43:30,775
Britain.
715
00:43:30,858 --> 00:43:34,820
We may be a small country,
but we're a great one, too.
716
00:43:35,613 --> 00:43:38,282
The country
of Shakespeare,
Churchill, The Beatles,
717
00:43:38,365 --> 00:43:40,242
Sean Connery, Harry Potter.
718
00:43:40,326 --> 00:43:41,577
(PEOPLE LAUGHING)
719
00:43:41,660 --> 00:43:47,166
David Beckham's right foot.
David Beckham's left foot,
come to that.
720
00:43:47,458 --> 00:43:51,337
And a friend who bullies
us is no longer a friend.
721
00:43:51,420 --> 00:43:54,715
And since
bullies only respond to
strength, from now onward,
722
00:43:55,341 --> 00:43:58,385
I will be prepared
to be much stronger.
723
00:43:58,469 --> 00:44:00,554
And the President
should be prepared for that.
724
00:44:00,638 --> 00:44:02,306
(REPORTERS CLAMORING)
725
00:44:11,732 --> 00:44:13,734
Mr. President!
726
00:44:18,405 --> 00:44:19,406
Joe.
727
00:44:20,241 --> 00:44:22,409
It's your sister on line four.
728
00:44:23,744 --> 00:44:25,120
All right.
729
00:44:25,788 --> 00:44:28,290
Yes, I'm very
busy and important.
How can I help you?
730
00:44:28,374 --> 00:44:30,417
Have you gone
completely insane?
731
00:44:30,668 --> 00:44:32,294
You can't be sensible
all the time.
732
00:44:32,378 --> 00:44:34,088
You can
if you're
prime minister.
733
00:44:34,171 --> 00:44:36,382
Oh, dear,
it's the Chancellor of the
Exchequer on the other line.
734
00:44:36,465 --> 00:44:37,466
No, it isn't!
I'll call you back.
735
00:44:37,550 --> 00:44:38,884
No, you won't!
736
00:44:40,636 --> 00:44:41,846
(MUSIC PLAYING)
737
00:44:41,929 --> 00:44:43,848
The trouble with being
the prime minister's
sister is
738
00:44:43,931 --> 00:44:47,059
it does
put your life into
rather harsh perspective.
739
00:44:47,852 --> 00:44:51,063
What did my brother do today?
He stood up and fought for
his country.
740
00:44:51,146 --> 00:44:55,276
And what did I do? I made
a papier-mâché lobster head.
741
00:44:55,568 --> 00:44:58,237
What is this
we're listening to?
742
00:44:58,445 --> 00:45:00,364
Joni Mitchell.
743
00:45:00,614 --> 00:45:03,325
I can't believe
you still listen
to Joni Mitchell.
744
00:45:03,742 --> 00:45:07,204
I love her and true
love lasts a lifetime.
745
00:45:08,581 --> 00:45:10,291
Joni Mitchell is
the woman who taught
746
00:45:10,374 --> 00:45:13,460
your cold English wife
how to feel.
747
00:45:13,544 --> 00:45:14,628
Did she?
Well, that's good.
748
00:45:14,712 --> 00:45:17,381
I must write to her
sometime and say thanks.
749
00:45:19,425 --> 00:45:21,594
Now,
which doll should we give
Daisy's little friend Emily?
750
00:45:21,677 --> 00:45:23,429
The one that looks
like a transvestite
751
00:45:23,512 --> 00:45:25,723
or the
one that looks
like a dominatrix?
752
00:45:26,140 --> 00:45:27,182
(BELL TOLLING)
753
00:45:27,266 --> 00:45:30,311
WOMAN ON RADIO:
It's almost enough to
make you feel patriotic,
754
00:45:30,394 --> 00:45:32,521
so here's one for our
ass-kicking prime minister.
755
00:45:32,605 --> 00:45:34,148
I think he'll enjoy this.
756
00:45:34,231 --> 00:45:36,775
A golden oldie
for a golden oldie.
757
00:45:37,484 --> 00:45:39,778
(POP SONG PLAYING ON RADIO)
758
00:46:26,825 --> 00:46:28,619
Yeah...
759
00:46:29,036 --> 00:46:30,663
Mary, I've been thinking,
760
00:46:30,788 --> 00:46:34,166
can we move the Japanese
ambassador to 4:00 tomorrow?
761
00:46:34,249 --> 00:46:35,292
Certainly, sir.
762
00:46:35,376 --> 00:46:37,294
Terrific.
Thanks so much.
763
00:46:45,803 --> 00:46:47,429
Would you like the last...
764
00:46:47,513 --> 00:46:49,515
(IN PORTUGUESE)
765
00:46:52,184 --> 00:46:54,186
That's all right,
more for me.
766
00:46:54,269 --> 00:46:56,563
(IN PORTUGUESE)
767
00:46:58,107 --> 00:47:00,567
I'm very lucky I've got
one of those constitutions
768
00:47:00,651 --> 00:47:02,361
where I never
put on weight.
769
00:47:02,444 --> 00:47:04,071
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
770
00:47:04,989 --> 00:47:06,198
Hello.
771
00:47:06,281 --> 00:47:07,866
(RINGING CONTINUES)
772
00:47:15,457 --> 00:47:17,835
Sorry.
773
00:47:21,463 --> 00:47:23,048
Hello?
774
00:47:39,064 --> 00:47:40,482
Thank you.
775
00:47:40,566 --> 00:47:41,984
(SPEAKING PORTUGUESE)
776
00:47:42,568 --> 00:47:44,361
No. Hold on.
777
00:47:44,445 --> 00:47:47,281
God, it's half the book. No.
778
00:47:47,406 --> 00:47:50,534
Just
leave them, please!
They're not important.
779
00:47:50,784 --> 00:47:53,579
They're not worth it!
780
00:47:53,746 --> 00:47:55,873
Stop! Stop.
781
00:47:56,582 --> 00:47:57,583
(MOANS)
782
00:48:00,461 --> 00:48:02,588
It's all just rubbish.
783
00:48:04,423 --> 00:48:06,508
Just leave it.
784
00:48:18,562 --> 00:48:20,189
God, she's in.
785
00:48:21,774 --> 00:48:25,486
Right. And now she'll think
I'm a total spaz if I don't
go in too.
786
00:48:26,695 --> 00:48:28,489
(IN PORTUGUESE)
787
00:48:32,534 --> 00:48:34,536
Fuck, it's freezing! Fuck!
788
00:48:35,621 --> 00:48:37,372
(IN PORTUGUESE)
789
00:48:39,041 --> 00:48:41,710
It's not worth it.
This isn't bloody
Shakespeare.
790
00:48:42,169 --> 00:48:44,546
(IN PORTUGUESE)
791
00:48:46,673 --> 00:48:47,883
Just stop. Stop.
792
00:48:48,634 --> 00:48:50,761
(IN PORTUGUESE)
793
00:48:51,303 --> 00:48:52,930
I really must do copies.
794
00:48:54,431 --> 00:48:56,600
There'd better
not be eels in here.
I can't stand eels.
795
00:48:56,683 --> 00:48:58,560
(IN PORTUGUESE)
796
00:48:59,561 --> 00:49:01,730
Oh, God,
what the hell is that?
797
00:49:11,698 --> 00:49:13,951
Thank you.
Thank you so much.
798
00:49:18,580 --> 00:49:21,625
I know. I'll name one of
the characters after you.
799
00:49:21,917 --> 00:49:23,627
(IN PORTUGUESE)
800
00:49:29,591 --> 00:49:32,678
Or
I could give you
5% of the profits.
801
00:49:36,056 --> 00:49:37,975
(IN PORTUGUESE)
802
00:49:39,309 --> 00:49:40,769
(IMITATES CRYING)
803
00:49:42,521 --> 00:49:43,856
(IMITATES LAUGHING)
804
00:49:47,776 --> 00:49:48,861
(SPEAKING PORTUGUESE)
805
00:49:48,944 --> 00:49:51,405
Yes. It's...
806
00:49:51,488 --> 00:49:52,906
(GRUNTS)
807
00:49:54,158 --> 00:49:55,742
(IN PORTUGUESE)
808
00:49:57,161 --> 00:49:59,746
Crime. Crime, murder.
809
00:50:01,373 --> 00:50:02,708
(IN PORTUGUESE)
810
00:50:02,791 --> 00:50:05,627
Scary? Yes,
sometimes scary.
811
00:50:05,711 --> 00:50:10,215
And sometimes not.
Mainly scary how
bad the writing is.
812
00:50:23,562 --> 00:50:25,230
(IN PORTUGUESE)
813
00:50:31,236 --> 00:50:32,404
Sure.
814
00:50:36,658 --> 00:50:39,745
It's my favorite time of day,
815
00:50:39,870 --> 00:50:41,872
driving you.
816
00:50:43,874 --> 00:50:46,376
(IN PORTUGUESE)
817
00:50:54,551 --> 00:50:56,011
Sorry.
818
00:51:23,789 --> 00:51:26,875
WOMAN ON TV: And coming up
later this morning, it's
this guy...
819
00:51:26,959 --> 00:51:28,627
(BILLY SINGING ON TV)
820
00:51:32,756 --> 00:51:34,967
The bad granddad
of rock and roll,
821
00:51:35,050 --> 00:51:37,803
here at 10:30.
Do not switch off.
822
00:51:44,226 --> 00:51:45,602
Banoffee pie?
823
00:51:45,686 --> 00:51:47,604
No, thanks.
824
00:51:47,688 --> 00:51:51,024
Thank God.
You would've broken my
heart if you'd said yes.
825
00:51:51,108 --> 00:51:54,444
Right, well, lucky you.
826
00:51:54,903 --> 00:51:56,655
Can I come in?
827
00:51:56,738 --> 00:51:58,699
Yeah, well,
I'm a bit busy...
828
00:51:58,782 --> 00:52:00,784
Well, I was just passing,
and I thought
829
00:52:00,867 --> 00:52:03,245
we might check
that video thing out.
830
00:52:03,662 --> 00:52:06,373
I thought
I might be able to
swap it for some pie
831
00:52:06,456 --> 00:52:08,834
or maybe Munchies?
832
00:52:08,917 --> 00:52:11,378
Actually,
I was being serious.
I don't know where it is.
833
00:52:11,461 --> 00:52:13,672
I'll have a poke
around tonight then...
834
00:52:13,755 --> 00:52:16,508
Mark, can I say something?
835
00:52:16,591 --> 00:52:18,593
Yeah.
836
00:52:19,636 --> 00:52:21,805
I know you're Peter's
best friend,
837
00:52:22,264 --> 00:52:27,185
and I know you've never
particularly warmed to me.
838
00:52:27,436 --> 00:52:29,354
No, don't argue.
839
00:52:30,314 --> 00:52:32,607
We've never
got friendly.
840
00:52:32,941 --> 00:52:35,235
But I
just wanted to say,
I hope that can change.
841
00:52:35,319 --> 00:52:37,154
I'm nice.
I really am.
842
00:52:37,237 --> 00:52:39,740
Apart
from my terrible
taste in pie and...
843
00:52:40,866 --> 00:52:43,368
It would be great
if we could be
friends.
844
00:52:43,994 --> 00:52:45,996
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
845
00:52:49,958 --> 00:52:50,959
Great.
846
00:52:52,169 --> 00:52:55,047
Doesn't mean we'll be able
to find the video, though.
847
00:52:55,130 --> 00:52:57,090
I had a real search
when you first called
848
00:52:57,174 --> 00:52:58,800
and couldn't find
any trace of it
so...
849
00:52:58,884 --> 00:53:02,012
Well,
there's one here that says,
"Peter and Juliet's Wedding."
850
00:53:02,095 --> 00:53:04,348
Do you think we might
be on the right track?
851
00:53:04,431 --> 00:53:08,977
Yeah, well...
Wow. That could be it.
852
00:53:09,353 --> 00:53:10,437
Do you mind if I just...
853
00:53:10,520 --> 00:53:11,521
I've probably
taped over it.
854
00:53:11,605 --> 00:53:14,691
Almost
everything has episodes
of West Wing on it and...
855
00:53:19,821 --> 00:53:21,865
Oh, bingo.
856
00:53:23,617 --> 00:53:25,869
That's lovely.
857
00:53:25,952 --> 00:53:27,788
Well done, you.
858
00:53:29,331 --> 00:53:31,500
That's gorgeous.
859
00:53:33,001 --> 00:53:36,963
Thank you so much, Mark.
This is exactly what I
was hoping for.
860
00:53:44,012 --> 00:53:46,223
I look quite pretty.
861
00:53:53,105 --> 00:53:54,773
You've stayed rather close,
haven't you?
862
00:53:54,856 --> 00:53:56,316
(LAUGHS)
863
00:54:50,036 --> 00:54:51,288
They're all of me.
864
00:54:56,293 --> 00:54:59,212
MARK: Yeah. Yeah.
865
00:54:59,296 --> 00:55:01,298
Yes.
866
00:55:31,828 --> 00:55:33,747
But
867
00:55:34,748 --> 00:55:36,875
you never talk to me.
868
00:55:39,127 --> 00:55:41,129
You always talk to Peter.
869
00:55:44,090 --> 00:55:45,967
You don't like me.
870
00:55:47,385 --> 00:55:49,346
I hope it's useful.
871
00:55:49,513 --> 00:55:52,432
Don't show it
around too much.
872
00:55:52,557 --> 00:55:55,602
Needs a bit of editing.
873
00:55:55,810 --> 00:55:59,314
Look,
I've got to
get to a lunch.
874
00:55:59,606 --> 00:56:01,441
Early lunch.
875
00:56:01,691 --> 00:56:04,528
You can just show
yourself out,
can't you?
876
00:56:10,158 --> 00:56:14,371
It's a self-preservation
thing, you see.
877
00:57:12,971 --> 00:57:13,972
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
878
00:57:14,055 --> 00:57:15,223
Yeah.
879
00:57:18,268 --> 00:57:21,146
Annie, my darling,
my dream, my boat.
880
00:57:24,941 --> 00:57:26,276
Need you to do
a favor for me.
881
00:57:26,359 --> 00:57:29,487
Of course.
Anything for the
hero of the hour.
882
00:57:31,114 --> 00:57:34,200
Don't ask me why,
and for heaven's sake,
don't read stuff into this,
883
00:57:34,284 --> 00:57:36,620
it's just a weird
personality thing.
884
00:57:36,870 --> 00:57:39,789
But you know Natalie
who works here?
885
00:57:40,498 --> 00:57:42,500
The chubby girl?
886
00:57:42,584 --> 00:57:44,586
Would we call her chubby?
887
00:57:44,878 --> 00:57:47,839
I think there's a pretty
sizeable ass there, yes,
sir.
888
00:57:48,214 --> 00:57:49,591
Huge thighs.
889
00:57:50,342 --> 00:57:53,261
Yeah. Well, whatever.
890
00:57:54,596 --> 00:57:58,308
I'm sure
she's a lovely girl,
but I wonder if you could
891
00:58:01,144 --> 00:58:02,729
redistribute her?
892
00:58:04,230 --> 00:58:06,232
It's done.
893
00:58:41,309 --> 00:58:43,144
Hey, Sammo. Can't sleep?
894
00:58:44,229 --> 00:58:46,231
I got some
terrible news today.
895
00:58:46,314 --> 00:58:48,191
Let's have it.
896
00:58:48,441 --> 00:58:50,193
Joanna's going
back to America.
897
00:58:50,276 --> 00:58:51,528
Your girl's American?
898
00:58:51,611 --> 00:58:53,947
Yes, she's American.
899
00:58:54,030 --> 00:58:56,282
And she's not my girl.
900
00:58:56,366 --> 00:58:58,243
And she's going
back to America.
901
00:58:58,326 --> 00:59:00,286
That's the end of
my life as I know it.
902
00:59:00,370 --> 00:59:02,706
That is bad news.
903
00:59:04,958 --> 00:59:07,168
Well, we need Kate
904
00:59:07,252 --> 00:59:10,296
and we need Leo,
and we need them now.
905
00:59:11,131 --> 00:59:12,215
Come on.
906
00:59:16,344 --> 00:59:18,596
Hold on. Hold on.
907
00:59:18,888 --> 00:59:21,224
Keep your eyes closed.
908
00:59:21,307 --> 00:59:23,017
Do you trust me?
909
00:59:23,101 --> 00:59:25,061
I trust you.
910
00:59:26,187 --> 00:59:27,522
Do you trust me?
911
00:59:27,605 --> 00:59:28,898
I trust you.
912
00:59:28,982 --> 00:59:30,150
Fool!
913
00:59:30,233 --> 00:59:32,026
Get off, you big bully.
914
00:59:34,112 --> 00:59:37,115
All right, open your eyes.
915
00:59:40,744 --> 00:59:44,205
You know,
Sammy, I'm sure she's
unique and extraordinary,
916
00:59:45,206 --> 00:59:47,125
but general wisdom
is that in the end,
917
00:59:47,208 --> 00:59:49,586
there isn't just one
person for each of us.
918
00:59:51,755 --> 00:59:53,715
There was
for Kate and Leo.
919
00:59:54,299 --> 00:59:56,509
There was for you.
920
00:59:56,593 --> 00:59:58,428
And there is for me.
921
00:59:58,553 --> 01:00:00,472
She's the one.
922
01:00:02,348 --> 01:00:05,101
Fair enough.
And her name's Joanna?
923
01:00:05,852 --> 01:00:08,938
Yeah, I know. Same as Mom.
924
01:00:18,281 --> 01:00:19,324
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
925
01:00:19,407 --> 01:00:20,533
Yeah.
926
01:00:24,954 --> 01:00:26,456
Prime Minister.
927
01:00:26,539 --> 01:00:28,166
Thank you very much.
928
01:00:43,223 --> 01:00:45,725
(MUMBLING IN PORTUGUESE)
929
01:01:19,467 --> 01:01:22,053
Well, goodbye.
930
01:01:22,387 --> 01:01:23,888
(IN PORTUGUESE)
931
01:01:28,268 --> 01:01:29,352
It was...
932
01:01:30,645 --> 01:01:32,981
(IN PORTUGUESE)
933
01:02:33,583 --> 01:02:35,251
(HORN HONKING)
934
01:02:43,009 --> 01:02:47,055
(SINGING) You know
I love Christmas,
I always will
935
01:02:48,348 --> 01:02:52,769
My mind's made up,
the way that I feel
936
01:02:54,228 --> 01:02:58,358
There's
no beginning,
there'll be no end
937
01:03:10,453 --> 01:03:12,455
Daniel!
938
01:03:13,539 --> 01:03:14,874
I have a plan.
939
01:03:14,958 --> 01:03:17,460
Thank the Lord! Tell me.
940
01:03:17,835 --> 01:03:21,297
Well, girls love
musicians, don't they?
Uh-huh.
941
01:03:21,381 --> 01:03:23,716
Even the really weird
ones get girlfriends.
That's right.
942
01:03:23,800 --> 01:03:25,969
Meat Loaf definitely
got laid at least once.
943
01:03:26,052 --> 01:03:29,097
For God's
sake, Ringo Starr
married a Bond girl.
944
01:03:30,515 --> 01:03:34,435
Whatever. There's this big
concert at the end of term
and Joanna's in it.
945
01:03:34,602 --> 01:03:38,147
And I thought maybe
if I was in the band and
played absolutely superbly,
946
01:03:38,231 --> 01:03:40,358
there's a chance that she
might actually fall in
love with me.
947
01:03:40,441 --> 01:03:41,484
What do you think?
948
01:03:41,567 --> 01:03:44,278
I think
it's brilliant.
I think it's stellar.
949
01:03:44,362 --> 01:03:48,074
Apart
from the one obvious tiny,
little, baby, little hiccup.
950
01:03:48,616 --> 01:03:50,410
I don't play
a musical instrument?
951
01:03:50,493 --> 01:03:51,577
Yes, sir.
952
01:03:52,578 --> 01:03:54,580
A tiny, insignificant detail.
953
01:03:54,664 --> 01:03:56,749
(DRUMS PLAYING)
954
01:04:18,521 --> 01:04:20,273
(MUSIC PLAYING)
955
01:04:32,410 --> 01:04:34,746
I suppose
I'd better go and
do the duty round.
956
01:04:34,829 --> 01:04:36,831
You're a saint.
957
01:04:41,878 --> 01:04:43,087
(LAUGHS)
958
01:04:44,088 --> 01:04:46,674
Any chance of a dance
with the boss?
959
01:04:47,675 --> 01:04:49,886
Yeah, sure, sure.
960
01:04:50,261 --> 01:04:52,638
As long as your boyfriend
doesn't mind.
961
01:04:55,433 --> 01:04:57,351
Not my boyfriend.
962
01:05:12,492 --> 01:05:14,702
You're looking
very pretty tonight.
963
01:05:16,496 --> 01:05:18,498
It's for you.
964
01:05:20,291 --> 01:05:22,293
Sorry?
965
01:05:24,670 --> 01:05:26,798
It's all for you, sir.
966
01:05:49,570 --> 01:05:51,823
This must be a very
exciting moment for you,
967
01:05:51,906 --> 01:05:53,991
fighting for the
Christmas number
one.
968
01:05:54,075 --> 01:05:55,493
How's it looking so far?
969
01:05:55,576 --> 01:05:57,036
Very bad indeed.
970
01:05:57,662 --> 01:06:00,498
Blue are outselling me
five-to-one,
971
01:06:00,581 --> 01:06:02,792
but I'm hoping
for a late surge.
972
01:06:02,875 --> 01:06:04,085
(LAUGHING)
973
01:06:04,168 --> 01:06:06,587
And, if I reach number one,
974
01:06:06,671 --> 01:06:12,593
I promise to sing
a song stark naked
on TV on Christmas Eve.
975
01:06:12,677 --> 01:06:13,678
(PEOPLE LAUGHING)
976
01:06:13,761 --> 01:06:14,887
Do you mean that?
977
01:06:14,971 --> 01:06:16,222
Well, of course
I mean it, Michael.
978
01:06:16,305 --> 01:06:18,850
Do you want a preview?
You old flirt.
979
01:06:18,933 --> 01:06:20,059
(LAUGHING)
980
01:06:23,271 --> 01:06:24,939
That'll never
make number one.
981
01:06:25,022 --> 01:06:26,566
(HIP HOP MUSIC PLAYING)
982
01:06:31,654 --> 01:06:35,324
I suppose it's his job
to dance with everyone,
isn't it?
983
01:06:35,575 --> 01:06:37,702
Some more than others.
984
01:06:41,164 --> 01:06:42,999
Just one dance?
985
01:06:43,082 --> 01:06:44,709
Before we run
out of chances.
986
01:06:44,792 --> 01:06:46,544
Who, me?
987
01:06:46,627 --> 01:06:48,296
Unless you just...
988
01:06:48,379 --> 01:06:50,506
No! No! Good.
989
01:06:50,590 --> 01:06:52,675
Yes. Thanks.
990
01:07:06,439 --> 01:07:08,357
(SLOW ROMANTIC SONG PLAYING)
991
01:08:22,056 --> 01:08:24,141
Well, then.
I'd better go.
992
01:08:24,308 --> 01:08:26,310
Okay.
993
01:08:27,770 --> 01:08:29,939
Good night.
Good night.
994
01:08:47,039 --> 01:08:49,000
Actually,
995
01:08:49,083 --> 01:08:51,294
I don't have to go.
Right. Good.
996
01:08:51,502 --> 01:08:53,629
I mean...
No, that's good.
997
01:08:54,797 --> 01:08:58,175
Just...
Would you excuse
me for one second?
998
01:08:58,342 --> 01:09:00,720
Sure.
Just one second.
999
01:09:08,561 --> 01:09:11,105
Okay, that's done.
1000
01:09:13,649 --> 01:09:16,986
Why don't you
come upstairs in
about 10 seconds?
1001
01:09:17,153 --> 01:09:19,363
Ten seconds.
Ten seconds.
1002
01:10:19,924 --> 01:10:21,217
Just tug it.
1003
01:10:21,300 --> 01:10:22,426
Okay.
1004
01:10:43,989 --> 01:10:45,491
You're beautiful.
1005
01:11:03,509 --> 01:11:04,885
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
1006
01:11:09,849 --> 01:11:12,059
I'd better answer that.
1007
01:11:16,564 --> 01:11:19,567
Hello. Hi.
Hello, darling.
1008
01:11:19,650 --> 01:11:22,528
No, no,
I'm not busy.
No, fire away.
1009
01:11:23,529 --> 01:11:25,281
Right.
1010
01:11:25,906 --> 01:11:29,743
Yes, I...
I'm not quite sure
it's gonna be possible
1011
01:11:29,827 --> 01:11:32,246
to get the Pope on
the phone tonight
but...
1012
01:11:33,664 --> 01:11:39,044
Yes. Yes, I'm sure
he's very good at
exorcism but...
1013
01:11:42,548 --> 01:11:44,884
Well, I'm sure
1014
01:11:45,134 --> 01:11:48,804
Jon Bon Jovi is as well,
and I'll definitely
look into it.
1015
01:11:48,971 --> 01:11:52,600
Okay? Okay,
I'll talk to you later.
1016
01:11:52,766 --> 01:11:54,768
All right, bye-bye.
1017
01:11:59,982 --> 01:12:01,942
Sorry about that.
1018
01:12:02,026 --> 01:12:03,944
No, it's fine.
1019
01:12:04,111 --> 01:12:06,989
It's my brother.
He's not well.
He calls a lot.
1020
01:12:09,116 --> 01:12:11,494
I'm sorry.
No, it's fine. It's fine.
1021
01:12:11,577 --> 01:12:14,830
I mean,
it's not really
fine. It is what it is,
1022
01:12:14,914 --> 01:12:18,375
and sort of there
being no parents now,
and us being over here,
1023
01:12:18,459 --> 01:12:21,504
it's my job to keep an eye
on him. I mean, not my job.
1024
01:12:21,587 --> 01:12:23,631
Obviously,
I'm glad to do it...
1025
01:12:24,048 --> 01:12:25,466
That's okay.
1026
01:12:25,549 --> 01:12:29,386
I mean, life is full
of interruptions and
complications.
1027
01:12:31,722 --> 01:12:33,224
So...
1028
01:12:45,653 --> 01:12:48,072
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
1029
01:12:50,199 --> 01:12:52,201
Will it make him better?
1030
01:12:53,619 --> 01:12:55,287
No.
1031
01:12:55,371 --> 01:12:57,373
Then maybe
1032
01:12:58,207 --> 01:13:00,209
don't answer.
1033
01:13:00,709 --> 01:13:02,461
(RINGING CONTINUES)
1034
01:13:08,008 --> 01:13:10,261
Hey. How you doing?
1035
01:13:10,970 --> 01:13:14,056
Right, right. No, please.
1036
01:13:14,390 --> 01:13:17,518
Please, please,
don't, little darling.
1037
01:13:17,601 --> 01:13:22,147
Between the two of
us we'll find the answer
and it won't hurt anymore.
1038
01:13:22,231 --> 01:13:26,193
No, no.
No, I'm not busy. I...
1039
01:13:27,987 --> 01:13:31,156
Of course
if you want me
to come over I will.
1040
01:13:33,200 --> 01:13:34,994
Okay.
1041
01:13:44,545 --> 01:13:46,880
That was a good night.
1042
01:13:47,006 --> 01:13:48,340
Except I felt fat.
1043
01:13:48,424 --> 01:13:49,633
Don't be ridiculous.
1044
01:13:49,717 --> 01:13:51,135
It's true.
1045
01:13:51,218 --> 01:13:55,389
Nowadays the only clothes
I can get into were once
owned by Pavarotti.
1046
01:13:55,472 --> 01:13:58,267
I always think
Pavarotti dresses very well.
1047
01:14:02,062 --> 01:14:04,064
Mia's very pretty.
1048
01:14:06,066 --> 01:14:08,068
Is she?
1049
01:14:09,612 --> 01:14:12,406
You know she is, darling.
1050
01:14:12,489 --> 01:14:14,617
Be careful there.
1051
01:14:37,806 --> 01:14:40,476
Have you been watching
stuff on TV?
1052
01:14:42,436 --> 01:14:43,604
Yeah.
1053
01:14:44,855 --> 01:14:46,732
Every night.
Good.
1054
01:14:46,815 --> 01:14:48,901
And every day.
1055
01:14:56,075 --> 01:14:57,242
The nurses are
trying to kill me.
1056
01:14:57,326 --> 01:14:59,453
Nobody's trying
to kill you, babe.
1057
01:15:07,169 --> 01:15:09,171
Thank you.
1058
01:15:12,049 --> 01:15:14,218
Don't do that, my darling.
1059
01:15:16,553 --> 01:15:18,555
Thank you.
1060
01:15:25,521 --> 01:15:27,606
Don't do that.
1061
01:16:00,764 --> 01:16:03,267
Right.
Back at 3:00.
Christmas shopping,
1062
01:16:03,350 --> 01:16:05,018
never an easy or
a pleasant task.
1063
01:16:05,102 --> 01:16:07,020
Are you gonna
get me something?
1064
01:16:11,734 --> 01:16:13,694
I don't know,
I hadn't thought.
1065
01:16:14,153 --> 01:16:15,654
And where's Sarah,
by the way?
1066
01:16:15,738 --> 01:16:18,365
She couldn't make it
in today. Family thing.
1067
01:16:18,532 --> 01:16:22,119
There's
a word for hangover
I've never heard before.
1068
01:16:22,619 --> 01:16:23,912
See you later.
1069
01:16:23,996 --> 01:16:26,623
Yes. Looking forward to it.
1070
01:16:29,752 --> 01:16:31,754
A lot.
1071
01:16:44,141 --> 01:16:46,268
So are you gonna
give me something?
1072
01:16:47,269 --> 01:16:49,730
I thought I made
it clear last night.
1073
01:16:49,813 --> 01:16:52,357
When it comes to me,
you can have everything.
1074
01:16:53,776 --> 01:16:57,154
So, what do you need?
1075
01:16:58,405 --> 01:17:02,242
Something along
the stationery line?
Are you short of staplers?
1076
01:17:02,743 --> 01:17:06,038
No. I don't want
something I need.
1077
01:17:06,121 --> 01:17:09,416
I want something I want,
something pretty.
1078
01:17:10,626 --> 01:17:12,461
Right.
1079
01:17:13,879 --> 01:17:15,422
Right.
1080
01:17:23,347 --> 01:17:26,725
Sorry I'm late.
I had to drop off
Bernie at rehearsal.
1081
01:17:30,896 --> 01:17:33,273
Right, well, listen, you keep
yourself occupied for 10
minutes
1082
01:17:33,357 --> 01:17:36,401
while I go
and do the boring
stuff for our mothers.
1083
01:17:58,882 --> 01:18:00,926
Thank you.
Thank you.
1084
01:18:01,051 --> 01:18:03,428
Looking for anything
in particular, sir?
1085
01:18:03,512 --> 01:18:07,015
Yes. That necklace there,
how much is it?
1086
01:18:07,266 --> 01:18:09,393
It's £270.
1087
01:18:11,186 --> 01:18:13,897
All right. I'll have it.
1088
01:18:13,981 --> 01:18:15,148
Lovely.
1089
01:18:18,151 --> 01:18:21,113
Would you like
it gift-wrapped?
1090
01:18:21,780 --> 01:18:23,240
Yes, all right.
1091
01:18:23,323 --> 01:18:24,449
Lovely.
1092
01:18:27,035 --> 01:18:29,204
Let me just
pop it in the box.
1093
01:18:31,415 --> 01:18:32,541
There.
1094
01:18:32,624 --> 01:18:35,252
Look,
could we be quite quick?
1095
01:18:35,335 --> 01:18:36,670
Certainly, sir.
1096
01:18:36,753 --> 01:18:39,506
Ready in
the flashiest of flashes.
1097
01:18:46,555 --> 01:18:48,140
There.
That's great.
1098
01:18:48,390 --> 01:18:51,351
Not quite finished.
1099
01:18:54,229 --> 01:18:55,606
Look, actually,
I don't need a bag.
1100
01:18:55,689 --> 01:18:57,316
I'll just put
it in my pocket.
1101
01:18:57,399 --> 01:18:58,901
This isn't a bag, sir.
1102
01:18:59,401 --> 01:19:00,527
Really?
1103
01:19:00,611 --> 01:19:02,696
This is so much
more than a bag.
1104
01:19:09,328 --> 01:19:10,662
(EXCLAIMS)
1105
01:19:25,719 --> 01:19:28,013
Could we be
quite quick,
please?
1106
01:19:28,764 --> 01:19:30,307
(SPEAKING ITALIAN)
1107
01:19:49,660 --> 01:19:50,786
What's that?
1108
01:19:50,869 --> 01:19:52,621
It's a cinnamon stick, sir.
1109
01:19:52,913 --> 01:19:54,373
Actually,
I really can't wait.
1110
01:19:54,456 --> 01:19:56,083
You won't regret it, sir.
1111
01:19:56,166 --> 01:19:57,751
Want to bet?
1112
01:19:57,834 --> 01:20:00,420
'Tis but
the work of a moment.
1113
01:20:04,091 --> 01:20:06,259
There we go.
Almost finished.
1114
01:20:06,385 --> 01:20:08,095
Almost finished?
What else can there be?
1115
01:20:08,178 --> 01:20:09,429
Are you gonna
dip it in yogurt?
1116
01:20:09,513 --> 01:20:10,931
Cover it with
chocolate buttons?
1117
01:20:11,014 --> 01:20:13,976
No,
sir, we're going to pop
it in the Christmas box.
1118
01:20:14,226 --> 01:20:15,519
But I don't want
a Christmas box.
1119
01:20:15,602 --> 01:20:16,979
But you said you wanted it
gift-wrapped.
1120
01:20:17,062 --> 01:20:18,146
I did but...
1121
01:20:18,230 --> 01:20:19,481
This is the final flourish.
1122
01:20:19,564 --> 01:20:20,607
Can I just pay?
1123
01:20:20,691 --> 01:20:21,858
All we need now...
1124
01:20:21,942 --> 01:20:23,402
Oh, God.
1125
01:20:23,485 --> 01:20:24,486
...is a sprig of holly.
1126
01:20:24,569 --> 01:20:25,612
No, no, no, no.
1127
01:20:25,696 --> 01:20:27,489
No bloody holly.
But, sir...
1128
01:20:27,572 --> 01:20:29,700
Leave it. Leave it.
Just leave it.
1129
01:20:30,450 --> 01:20:31,994
Loitering around the
jewelry section, I see.
1130
01:20:32,077 --> 01:20:33,787
No.
I was just
looking around.
1131
01:20:33,870 --> 01:20:36,707
Don't worry.
My expectations
are not that high
1132
01:20:36,790 --> 01:20:40,293
after 13 years of Mr. Oh-
but-you-always-love-scarves.
1133
01:20:40,877 --> 01:20:42,838
Actually,
I do love this one.
1134
01:20:53,515 --> 01:20:54,558
Hey!
1135
01:20:54,641 --> 01:20:56,727
What are you doing here?
1136
01:20:57,227 --> 01:21:00,105
Had to
rent out my flat
to pay for my ticket.
1137
01:21:00,188 --> 01:21:03,442
You're not actually going
ahead with this genuinely
stupid plan?
1138
01:21:03,525 --> 01:21:05,318
Yeah. I bloody am.
1139
01:21:05,402 --> 01:21:08,822
You think this backpack
is full of clothes?
Like hell it is.
1140
01:21:09,114 --> 01:21:11,616
It is chock-a-block
full of condoms.
1141
01:21:12,284 --> 01:21:15,537
Excellent. Excellent.
Perfect, keep that going.
1142
01:21:15,746 --> 01:21:16,788
(CLEARS THROAT)
1143
01:21:16,872 --> 01:21:21,585
Look, sorry to be
a bit forward and
all that,
1144
01:21:21,710 --> 01:21:24,254
but you don't fancy going
for a Christmas drink,
do you?
1145
01:21:24,337 --> 01:21:26,506
I mean,
nothing implied at all.
1146
01:21:26,590 --> 01:21:31,553
Just maybe go and see
something Christmassy
or something.
1147
01:21:31,678 --> 01:21:35,098
Obviously,
if you don't want to,
you don't have to. I...
1148
01:21:35,182 --> 01:21:36,808
I'm rambling now, sorry.
1149
01:21:37,184 --> 01:21:39,728
No. That would be lovely.
1150
01:21:40,312 --> 01:21:42,606
Great.
1151
01:21:45,233 --> 01:21:46,318
(EXCLAIMS)
1152
01:21:46,401 --> 01:21:48,445
You know,
that is really great.
1153
01:21:48,528 --> 01:21:50,322
Normally, I'm really shy
about this sort of thing.
1154
01:21:50,405 --> 01:21:53,158
Takes me ages to get
the courage up,
so thank you.
1155
01:21:53,575 --> 01:21:55,494
(DRUMS PLAYING)
1156
01:21:59,790 --> 01:22:01,625
Explain to me again
why you're so late.
1157
01:22:01,708 --> 01:22:04,920
For heaven's sake, woman,
can't a man have any secrets?
1158
01:22:05,212 --> 01:22:09,257
We've been waiting for hours.
It's the first ever preview.
1159
01:22:18,058 --> 01:22:22,062
KAREN: It
was a starry night
in ancient Jerusalem
1160
01:22:22,145 --> 01:22:25,232
and the baby Jesus was
in his manger.
1161
01:22:33,657 --> 01:22:36,952
Sherlock Holmes is
not a real detective.
1162
01:22:37,577 --> 01:22:40,330
(IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE)
1163
01:22:40,413 --> 01:22:43,667
I would like
half-pint of sherry.
1164
01:22:44,584 --> 01:22:47,129
I would like
a one-day travel card.
1165
01:22:47,254 --> 01:22:49,631
(IN PORTUGUESE)
1166
01:22:53,009 --> 01:22:56,138
Milton Keynes has
many roundabouts.
1167
01:22:57,722 --> 01:22:59,766
(IN PORTUGUESE)
1168
01:23:19,578 --> 01:23:21,204
You'll come back
a broken man.
1169
01:23:21,288 --> 01:23:24,291
Yeah, back broken
from too much sex.
1170
01:23:24,374 --> 01:23:26,543
You are on
the road to disaster.
1171
01:23:26,626 --> 01:23:30,172
No, I am on shag highway,
heading west.
1172
01:23:30,672 --> 01:23:32,841
Farewell, failure.
1173
01:23:32,924 --> 01:23:36,678
America, watch out!
Here comes Colin Frissell.
1174
01:23:37,387 --> 01:23:40,765
And he's got a big knob.
1175
01:23:51,026 --> 01:23:52,319
Take me to a bar.
1176
01:23:52,402 --> 01:23:53,528
What kind of bar?
1177
01:23:53,612 --> 01:23:57,115
Just any bar. Just
your average American bar.
1178
01:24:04,581 --> 01:24:05,624
Can I help you?
1179
01:24:05,707 --> 01:24:08,126
Yes. I'd like a Budweiser,
please.
1180
01:24:08,210 --> 01:24:09,669
King of beers.
1181
01:24:09,753 --> 01:24:11,254
One Bud coming up.
1182
01:24:12,547 --> 01:24:13,882
Oh, my God.
1183
01:24:15,425 --> 01:24:17,052
Are you from England?
1184
01:24:18,178 --> 01:24:19,304
Yes.
1185
01:24:21,181 --> 01:24:23,892
That is so cute.
1186
01:24:23,975 --> 01:24:26,144
Hi, I'm Stacey.
1187
01:24:26,228 --> 01:24:27,604
(LAUGHS)
1188
01:24:27,687 --> 01:24:29,689
Jeannie?
1189
01:24:31,858 --> 01:24:32,984
Yeah?
1190
01:24:33,860 --> 01:24:35,654
STACEY: This is...
1191
01:24:35,737 --> 01:24:37,030
Colin.
1192
01:24:38,698 --> 01:24:40,659
Frissell.
1193
01:24:40,742 --> 01:24:42,535
Cute name.
1194
01:24:42,619 --> 01:24:44,287
Jeannie.
1195
01:24:44,371 --> 01:24:45,622
He's from England.
1196
01:24:45,705 --> 01:24:47,832
Yep. Basildon.
1197
01:24:50,669 --> 01:24:53,880
Wait till
Carol-Anne gets here.
1198
01:24:53,964 --> 01:24:55,882
She's crazy
about English guys.
1199
01:25:00,929 --> 01:25:02,305
Hey, girls.
1200
01:25:02,389 --> 01:25:04,808
Carol-Anne, come meet Colin.
1201
01:25:04,891 --> 01:25:06,393
He's from England.
1202
01:25:07,978 --> 01:25:12,065
Well, step aside, ladies.
This one's on me.
1203
01:25:14,776 --> 01:25:16,736
Hey, gorgeous.
1204
01:25:16,820 --> 01:25:17,821
(GROWLING)
1205
01:25:17,904 --> 01:25:19,364
(ALL LAUGHING)
1206
01:25:19,447 --> 01:25:21,032
That is so funny!
1207
01:25:22,701 --> 01:25:24,494
What do you call that?
1208
01:25:24,577 --> 01:25:25,829
Bottle.
1209
01:25:25,912 --> 01:25:27,372
GIRLS: (WITH BRITISH ACCENT)
Bottle.
1210
01:25:27,455 --> 01:25:29,416
What about this?
Straw.
1211
01:25:29,499 --> 01:25:31,251
GIRLS: (WITH BRITISH ACCENT)
Straw.
1212
01:25:31,334 --> 01:25:33,253
What about this?
Table.
1213
01:25:34,629 --> 01:25:36,589
Table. The same.
It's the same.
1214
01:25:37,382 --> 01:25:38,800
Where are you staying?
1215
01:25:38,883 --> 01:25:40,719
I don't actually know.
1216
01:25:40,802 --> 01:25:42,971
I guess I'll
just check into a motel
like they do in the movies.
1217
01:25:43,054 --> 01:25:46,308
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God, that is so cute.
1218
01:25:46,558 --> 01:25:50,854
No, no, no, listen.
This may be a bit pushy
'cause we just met you,
1219
01:25:51,146 --> 01:25:53,606
but why
don't you come back
and sleep at our place?
1220
01:25:53,690 --> 01:25:55,775
Yeah.
1221
01:25:56,151 --> 01:25:58,987
Well, I mean,
you know, if it's not
too much of an inconvenience.
1222
01:25:59,070 --> 01:26:00,613
Hell no!
1223
01:26:00,697 --> 01:26:02,324
But there's one problem.
1224
01:26:02,866 --> 01:26:04,617
What?
1225
01:26:04,701 --> 01:26:07,996
Well, we're
not the richest
of girls, you know.
1226
01:26:08,079 --> 01:26:12,834
So we just have
a little bed and no couch.
1227
01:26:13,043 --> 01:26:16,379
So you'd
have to share
with all three of us.
1228
01:26:16,963 --> 01:26:22,886
And on this cold,
cold night it's gonna be
crowded and sweaty and stuff.
1229
01:26:22,969 --> 01:26:25,889
And
we can't even
afford pajamas.
1230
01:26:26,348 --> 01:26:27,432
No?
1231
01:26:28,433 --> 01:26:31,978
Which means we
would be naked.
1232
01:26:37,859 --> 01:26:39,694
No, no, I think it'd be fine.
1233
01:26:39,778 --> 01:26:40,779
Great.
Cool.
1234
01:26:42,238 --> 01:26:44,991
The thing
that's gonna make
it more crowded...
1235
01:26:45,533 --> 01:26:47,619
Harriet.
You haven't met Harriet.
1236
01:26:48,078 --> 01:26:49,579
There's a fourth one?
Yeah.
1237
01:26:49,662 --> 01:26:53,708
Don't worry, you're
totally gonna like her
'cause she is the sexy one.
1238
01:26:53,792 --> 01:26:56,628
Really? Wow.
Yeah.
1239
01:26:56,961 --> 01:26:59,005
Praise the Lord!
1240
01:26:59,089 --> 01:27:00,465
And he's a Christian.
1241
01:27:00,548 --> 01:27:02,675
(ALL LAUGHING)
1242
01:27:03,051 --> 01:27:04,719
Cheers.
GIRLS: Cheers.
1243
01:27:23,696 --> 01:27:25,573
(COLIN LAUGHING)
1244
01:27:25,657 --> 01:27:28,743
One present
only each tonight.
Who's got one for Dad?
1245
01:27:28,827 --> 01:27:30,745
I have.
Let Mommy go first.
1246
01:27:30,829 --> 01:27:31,871
I'll get it. I'll get it.
1247
01:27:31,955 --> 01:27:33,873
No, no, no.
I want to choose mine.
I want to choose mine.
1248
01:27:33,957 --> 01:27:36,167
I think I want
1249
01:27:38,420 --> 01:27:39,462
this one.
1250
01:27:39,546 --> 01:27:42,006
I have, of course, bought you
the traditional scarf as well,
1251
01:27:42,090 --> 01:27:45,844
but this is my other,
slightly special,
personal one.
1252
01:27:46,511 --> 01:27:48,555
Thank you.
1253
01:27:49,055 --> 01:27:50,807
That's a real first.
1254
01:27:50,890 --> 01:27:51,891
Rip it!
1255
01:27:51,975 --> 01:27:52,976
What is it?
1256
01:27:53,351 --> 01:27:56,062
I'm going to...
All right, I'll rip it.
1257
01:28:03,069 --> 01:28:05,405
God, that's a surprise.
1258
01:28:05,989 --> 01:28:07,699
DAISY: What is it?
1259
01:28:09,909 --> 01:28:13,121
It's a CD.
Joni Mitchell. Wow.
1260
01:28:13,204 --> 01:28:15,790
To continue your
emotional education.
1261
01:28:15,874 --> 01:28:20,003
Yes. Goodness.
1262
01:28:20,920 --> 01:28:22,589
That's great.
1263
01:28:22,881 --> 01:28:25,091
My brilliant wife.
1264
01:28:25,175 --> 01:28:26,384
Yes.
1265
01:28:27,886 --> 01:28:32,223
Actually, do you mind if
I just absent myself for
a second?
1266
01:28:32,307 --> 01:28:34,893
All that ice cream.
1267
01:28:35,518 --> 01:28:38,480
Darling,
could you just make sure
the kids are ready to go?
1268
01:28:38,563 --> 01:28:39,981
I'll be back in a minute.
1269
01:28:40,064 --> 01:28:42,358
HARRY: All right, all right,
let's take it easy.
1270
01:28:42,442 --> 01:28:44,110
BERNIE: Mine first. Mine.
1271
01:28:51,701 --> 01:28:54,287
(MUSIC PLAYING ON TAPE)
1272
01:30:41,561 --> 01:30:43,104
Oh, my God.
1273
01:30:43,187 --> 01:30:46,107
It's a miracle.
You're all dressed.
1274
01:30:46,190 --> 01:30:49,110
Come on,
come on, come on,
we're horribly late.
1275
01:30:49,193 --> 01:30:51,195
Right, then. Come on.
In the car. In the car.
1276
01:30:51,279 --> 01:30:52,614
Come on.
1277
01:31:02,790 --> 01:31:04,208
Has she noticed you yet?
1278
01:31:04,292 --> 01:31:05,918
No.
1279
01:31:06,210 --> 01:31:07,503
You know the thing
about romance is
1280
01:31:07,587 --> 01:31:10,256
people
only get together
right at the very end.
1281
01:31:10,340 --> 01:31:12,467
Of course.
1282
01:31:14,135 --> 01:31:17,722
By the way, I feel bad.
I never ask you how
your love life is going.
1283
01:31:17,805 --> 01:31:19,140
Uh-huh.
1284
01:31:20,058 --> 01:31:21,768
No.
1285
01:31:21,851 --> 01:31:24,687
As you know, that was
a done deal long ago.
1286
01:31:26,230 --> 01:31:28,775
Unless, of course,
Claudia Schiffer calls,
1287
01:31:28,858 --> 01:31:30,985
in which case
I want you out of
the house straightaway,
1288
01:31:31,069 --> 01:31:33,112
you wee motherless mongrel.
1289
01:31:33,196 --> 01:31:34,238
(EXCLAIMS)
1290
01:31:34,322 --> 01:31:38,910
No, no. We'll want to have
sex in every room,
including yours.
1291
01:31:39,118 --> 01:31:41,496
MAN ON RADIO: It's a rainy
Christmas Eve all over
the UK
1292
01:31:41,579 --> 01:31:43,956
and the big question
is who is number one
1293
01:31:44,040 --> 01:31:45,792
on the Radio One
chart show tonight?
1294
01:31:45,875 --> 01:31:49,962
Is it Blue or the
unexpected Christmas
sensation from Billy Mack?
1295
01:31:50,254 --> 01:31:54,050
You might have guessed it,
although you may not
believe it.
1296
01:31:54,133 --> 01:31:56,302
It's Billy Mack.
1297
01:31:56,386 --> 01:31:57,970
(PEOPLE CHEERING)
1298
01:31:59,055 --> 01:32:00,890
You are the champion!
1299
01:32:00,973 --> 01:32:02,350
MAN ON PHONE: Hi, Billy.
1300
01:32:02,433 --> 01:32:03,434
Hello.
1301
01:32:03,518 --> 01:32:07,063
We're live
across the nation,
and you're number one.
1302
01:32:07,146 --> 01:32:08,690
How will you
be celebrating?
1303
01:32:08,773 --> 01:32:10,024
I don't know.
1304
01:32:10,108 --> 01:32:13,111
Either I could behave like
a real rock and roll loser
1305
01:32:13,236 --> 01:32:16,197
and get drunk
with my fat manager,
1306
01:32:16,280 --> 01:32:18,116
or, when I hang up,
1307
01:32:18,199 --> 01:32:23,121
I'll be flooded by invitations
to a large number of glamorous
parties.
1308
01:32:23,371 --> 01:32:26,624
Let's hope it's the latter.
And here it is. Number one,
from Billy Mack,
1309
01:32:26,708 --> 01:32:28,459
it's Christmas Is All Around.
1310
01:32:28,543 --> 01:32:30,753
Jesus, not that crap again.
1311
01:32:30,837 --> 01:32:32,338
(ALL LAUGHING)
1312
01:32:34,298 --> 01:32:36,676
Bill, it's for you, babe.
1313
01:32:37,385 --> 01:32:39,762
Hello. Elton.
1314
01:32:39,887 --> 01:32:43,141
Of course. Of course.
1315
01:32:43,224 --> 01:32:46,436
Send an embarrassingly
big car, and I'll be there.
1316
01:32:46,519 --> 01:32:47,979
(PEOPLE LAUGHING)
1317
01:32:48,813 --> 01:32:52,316
It's gonna be
a very good Christmas.
1318
01:32:52,400 --> 01:32:55,278
(PEOPLE CHEERING)
1319
01:33:00,491 --> 01:33:01,534
Right.
1320
01:33:01,617 --> 01:33:04,370
I'd better be getting inside,
actually. My mom and,
you know...
1321
01:33:04,454 --> 01:33:07,248
Of course, yeah.
It's getting a
bit cold.
1322
01:33:10,126 --> 01:33:11,627
Well, good night.
1323
01:33:11,711 --> 01:33:12,837
Night.
1324
01:33:22,722 --> 01:33:24,265
Okay.
1325
01:33:38,613 --> 01:33:42,408
All I want for Christmas
is you.
1326
01:33:42,492 --> 01:33:43,993
(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)
1327
01:33:45,119 --> 01:33:47,288
Right.
1328
01:33:47,371 --> 01:33:50,374
Thank you. Good.
1329
01:33:50,875 --> 01:33:52,126
Good night.
1330
01:33:53,795 --> 01:33:55,421
(LAUGHING EXCITEDLY)
1331
01:34:06,390 --> 01:34:08,643
Look, everyone,
it's Uncle Jamie.
1332
01:34:08,726 --> 01:34:11,395
Hi, Uncle Jamie!
1333
01:34:11,479 --> 01:34:15,566
Yes, splendid.
It's lovely to
see you all.
1334
01:34:16,359 --> 01:34:18,736
And...
1335
01:34:19,904 --> 01:34:21,447
I'm off, actually.
1336
01:34:21,697 --> 01:34:24,450
But, Jamie, darling...
1337
01:34:24,534 --> 01:34:26,786
Sorry.
1338
01:34:26,869 --> 01:34:29,413
Man's gotta do
what a man's gotta do.
1339
01:34:31,541 --> 01:34:32,583
(ALL MURMURING)
1340
01:34:32,667 --> 01:34:34,335
I hate Uncle Jamie!
1341
01:34:34,418 --> 01:34:36,212
GIRL: I hate Uncle Jamie.
1342
01:34:36,295 --> 01:34:37,922
BOY: I hate Uncle Jamie.
1343
01:34:49,225 --> 01:34:52,019
Gatwick Airport, please.
Fast as you can.
1344
01:34:53,437 --> 01:34:55,982
(ROMANTIC SONG PLAYING
ON RADIO)
1345
01:35:07,159 --> 01:35:08,244
Night, Sarah.
1346
01:35:08,327 --> 01:35:09,829
Night, Karl.
1347
01:35:10,872 --> 01:35:12,874
I...
1348
01:35:17,295 --> 01:35:20,464
Merry Christmas.
1349
01:35:40,318 --> 01:35:43,195
Hi, babe.
How's it going? Yeah.
1350
01:35:43,529 --> 01:35:45,823
Is it
all party, party,
party down there?
1351
01:36:04,592 --> 01:36:06,552
Sam, time for dinner.
1352
01:36:06,636 --> 01:36:07,887
SAM: I'm not hungry.
1353
01:36:07,970 --> 01:36:11,307
Sam, I've done
chicken kebabs.
1354
01:36:11,390 --> 01:36:13,476
Look at the sign
on the door.
1355
01:36:13,559 --> 01:36:15,227
(DRUMS PLAYING)
1356
01:36:17,772 --> 01:36:19,023
Right.
1357
01:36:25,571 --> 01:36:28,199
It's a little long.
1358
01:36:34,580 --> 01:36:35,957
(DOORBELL RINGING)
1359
01:36:36,457 --> 01:36:38,459
I'll get it.
1360
01:36:44,924 --> 01:36:46,342
Hi.
1361
01:36:46,425 --> 01:36:47,885
PETER: Who is it?
1362
01:36:52,556 --> 01:36:54,350
It's carol singers.
1363
01:36:54,558 --> 01:36:57,269
Give them a quid and
tell them to bugger off.
1364
01:37:01,524 --> 01:37:05,069
(MUSIC PLAYING ON TAPE)
1365
01:38:09,467 --> 01:38:11,469
(WHISPERS) Merry Christmas.
1366
01:38:48,130 --> 01:38:49,590
Enough.
1367
01:38:50,883 --> 01:38:52,384
Enough now.
1368
01:38:58,349 --> 01:39:00,684
(DOORBELL BUZZING)
1369
01:39:01,143 --> 01:39:02,812
What the hell
are you doing here?
1370
01:39:02,895 --> 01:39:04,814
You're supposed to
be at Elton John's.
1371
01:39:04,897 --> 01:39:09,860
Well, I was there
for a minute or two,
and then I had an epiphany.
1372
01:39:10,528 --> 01:39:12,696
Really?
Yeah.
1373
01:39:12,780 --> 01:39:14,782
Come on. Just come up.
1374
01:39:14,949 --> 01:39:18,119
So what was this epiphany?
1375
01:39:18,202 --> 01:39:20,830
It was about Christmas.
1376
01:39:21,497 --> 01:39:23,582
You realized
it was all around.
1377
01:39:23,666 --> 01:39:26,544
No. I realized that
Christmas is the time
1378
01:39:26,627 --> 01:39:28,546
to be with
the people you love.
1379
01:39:29,505 --> 01:39:30,714
Right.
1380
01:39:30,798 --> 01:39:34,051
And I realized that,
as dire chance
1381
01:39:34,135 --> 01:39:37,304
and fateful cock-up
would have it,
1382
01:39:37,388 --> 01:39:41,225
here I am, mid-50s,
1383
01:39:41,767 --> 01:39:44,854
and without knowing it,
I've gone and spent
most of my adult life
1384
01:39:44,937 --> 01:39:47,314
with a chubby employee.
1385
01:39:47,648 --> 01:39:48,649
(SNORTS)
1386
01:39:48,983 --> 01:39:51,569
And, much as it
grieves me to say it,
1387
01:39:51,652 --> 01:39:57,449
it might be that the
people I love is,
in fact,
1388
01:39:58,659 --> 01:39:59,660
you.
1389
01:40:02,788 --> 01:40:04,790
Well, this is a surprise.
1390
01:40:05,124 --> 01:40:06,709
Yeah.
1391
01:40:06,792 --> 01:40:09,211
Ten
minutes at Elton John's,
you're as gay as a Maypole.
1392
01:40:09,295 --> 01:40:11,130
No, look.
I'm serious here.
1393
01:40:11,213 --> 01:40:13,048
I left Elton's
where there were
1394
01:40:13,132 --> 01:40:15,509
a hefty number of
half-naked chicks
1395
01:40:15,593 --> 01:40:20,598
with their mouths
open in order to hang
out with you at Christmas.
1396
01:40:22,766 --> 01:40:24,143
Well, Bill...
1397
01:40:24,226 --> 01:40:28,105
It's a terrible,
terrible mistake, chubs,
1398
01:40:32,318 --> 01:40:35,571
but you turn out to be
the fucking love of my
life.
1399
01:40:36,113 --> 01:40:37,573
(CHUCKLES)
1400
01:40:38,991 --> 01:40:42,703
And to be honest,
despite all my
complaining,
1401
01:40:44,788 --> 01:40:47,166
we have had
a wonderful life.
1402
01:40:52,004 --> 01:40:53,672
Well,
1403
01:40:55,466 --> 01:40:57,176
thank you.
1404
01:40:59,094 --> 01:41:02,014
I mean, come on,
it's been an honor.
1405
01:41:04,350 --> 01:41:06,310
I feel very proud.
1406
01:41:06,393 --> 01:41:08,479
Look, don't be a moron.
1407
01:41:16,779 --> 01:41:18,155
(CLEARS THROAT)
1408
01:41:19,615 --> 01:41:22,701
Come on, let's get
pissed and watch porn.
1409
01:41:42,221 --> 01:41:44,682
NATALIE: Dear sir...
Dear David,
1410
01:41:44,765 --> 01:41:48,060
Merry Christmas
and I hope you have
a very happy New Year.
1411
01:41:48,352 --> 01:41:50,688
I'm very sorry about
the thing that happened.
1412
01:41:50,771 --> 01:41:53,816
It was a very odd moment
and I feel like a prize
idiot.
1413
01:41:54,108 --> 01:41:55,818
Particularly because,
1414
01:41:55,901 --> 01:41:58,654
if you can't say it at
Christmas when can you,
eh,
1415
01:41:58,737 --> 01:42:02,366
I'm actually yours.
With love, your Natalie.
1416
01:42:22,761 --> 01:42:24,638
Jack, yeah, I need a car.
1417
01:42:24,722 --> 01:42:26,932
Right now. Thank you.
1418
01:42:38,736 --> 01:42:40,779
Don't wait up.
1419
01:42:44,742 --> 01:42:46,702
I'd like to go to Wandsworth,
the dodgy end.
1420
01:42:46,785 --> 01:42:48,245
Very good, sir.
1421
01:42:59,965 --> 01:43:02,676
TERRY:
Harris Street.
What number, sir?
1422
01:43:02,760 --> 01:43:05,471
DAVID: God,
it's the longest
street in the world,
1423
01:43:05,554 --> 01:43:07,431
and I have
absolutely no idea.
1424
01:43:12,936 --> 01:43:14,563
(DOORBELL RINGING)
1425
01:43:16,023 --> 01:43:17,900
Hello.
Does Natalie live here?
1426
01:43:18,359 --> 01:43:19,443
No.
1427
01:43:19,526 --> 01:43:21,362
Right, fine.
Thank you. Sorry to disturb.
1428
01:43:21,445 --> 01:43:23,489
Hey, aren't...
1429
01:43:23,822 --> 01:43:26,784
Aren't you
the prime minister?
1430
01:43:26,867 --> 01:43:30,162
Yes.
In fact, I am.
Merry Christmas.
1431
01:43:31,830 --> 01:43:32,915
Part of the service now.
1432
01:43:32,998 --> 01:43:35,084
Trying to get around to
everyone by New Year's Eve.
1433
01:43:35,167 --> 01:43:36,960
(DOORBELL RINGING)
1434
01:43:40,798 --> 01:43:43,467
Hello.
Does Natalie live here?
1435
01:43:43,550 --> 01:43:44,676
No, she doesn't.
1436
01:43:44,760 --> 01:43:45,886
Oh, dear. Okay.
1437
01:43:45,969 --> 01:43:47,930
Are you singing carols?
1438
01:43:48,013 --> 01:43:49,181
No. No, I'm not.
1439
01:43:49,264 --> 01:43:51,016
Please, sir, please.
1440
01:43:51,100 --> 01:43:52,393
Please.
1441
01:43:55,479 --> 01:43:57,231
Well, I suppose I could.
1442
01:43:57,648 --> 01:43:59,233
Please.
1443
01:44:00,484 --> 01:44:01,902
All right.
1444
01:44:01,985 --> 01:44:03,195
(GIRLS EXCLAIMING)
1445
01:44:04,863 --> 01:44:08,200
(SINGING) Good King Wenceslas
looked out
1446
01:44:08,283 --> 01:44:11,954
On the feast of Stephen
1447
01:44:12,037 --> 01:44:15,124
When the snow
lay round about
1448
01:44:15,499 --> 01:44:18,794
Deep and crisp and even
1449
01:44:18,877 --> 01:44:22,464
Brightly shone
the moon that night
1450
01:44:23,799 --> 01:44:27,010
Hello.
Sorry to disturb.
Does Natalie live here?
1451
01:44:27,094 --> 01:44:29,346
No. She lives next door.
1452
01:44:33,058 --> 01:44:34,059
Ah!
1453
01:44:34,601 --> 01:44:35,936
Brilliant.
1454
01:44:36,019 --> 01:44:38,272
You're not who I think
you are, are you?
1455
01:44:38,355 --> 01:44:40,649
Yes, I'm afraid I am,
and I'm sorry about
all the cock-ups.
1456
01:44:40,732 --> 01:44:42,818
Not my fault.
My cabinet are
absolute crap.
1457
01:44:42,901 --> 01:44:46,447
We hope to
do better next year.
Merry Christmas to you.
1458
01:45:01,462 --> 01:45:02,754
(CHATTERING STOPS)
1459
01:45:02,838 --> 01:45:03,839
Ah!
1460
01:45:03,922 --> 01:45:07,301
Hello. Is Natalie in?
1461
01:45:07,384 --> 01:45:10,179
Where the fuck
is my fucking coat?
1462
01:45:11,763 --> 01:45:12,848
Oh!
1463
01:45:12,931 --> 01:45:15,934
Hello.
1464
01:45:16,018 --> 01:45:20,898
This is my mom and my dad and
my Uncle Tony and my Auntie
Glynne.
1465
01:45:20,981 --> 01:45:22,816
Hello.
Very nice to meet you.
1466
01:45:23,275 --> 01:45:26,820
And this is
the prime minister.
1467
01:45:26,904 --> 01:45:29,907
Yes, we can see that,
darling.
1468
01:45:30,073 --> 01:45:32,534
And,
unfortunately,
we're very late.
1469
01:45:32,618 --> 01:45:35,579
It's the
school Christmas
concert, you see, David.
1470
01:45:35,871 --> 01:45:37,331
It's the first time
all the local schools
1471
01:45:37,414 --> 01:45:39,291
have joined together,
even St. Basil's...
1472
01:45:39,374 --> 01:45:40,626
Too much detail, Mom.
1473
01:45:40,709 --> 01:45:43,003
Anyway,
how can we help, sir?
1474
01:45:43,337 --> 01:45:47,090
Well, I just needed Natalie
1475
01:45:49,968 --> 01:45:51,929
on some state business.
1476
01:45:53,305 --> 01:45:58,435
Right, yes.
Of course. Right.
1477
01:45:58,519 --> 01:46:01,063
Well,
perhaps you should
come on later, Plumpy.
1478
01:46:01,688 --> 01:46:02,814
Natalie.
1479
01:46:02,898 --> 01:46:05,192
Well, listen,
I don't want to make
you late for the concert.
1480
01:46:05,275 --> 01:46:07,069
No, it's nothing, really.
1481
01:46:07,152 --> 01:46:08,612
Keith will be
very disappointed.
1482
01:46:08,695 --> 01:46:10,656
No, really,
it doesn't matter.
1483
01:46:10,739 --> 01:46:12,950
The octopus costume's
taken me months.
1484
01:46:13,325 --> 01:46:15,244
Eight is a lot
of legs, David.
1485
01:46:15,410 --> 01:46:16,411
Hmm.
1486
01:46:19,289 --> 01:46:21,667
Well, listen,
why don't I give you a lift,
1487
01:46:21,750 --> 01:46:26,672
and then we can talk about
this state business
business in the car?
1488
01:46:29,091 --> 01:46:30,092
Okay.
1489
01:46:30,175 --> 01:46:31,927
Lovely, yes.
Lovely.
1490
01:46:32,010 --> 01:46:33,095
MAN: Thank you.
1491
01:46:33,178 --> 01:46:34,972
Hold tight, everybody.
1492
01:46:41,979 --> 01:46:43,146
How far is this place?
1493
01:46:43,230 --> 01:46:44,606
Just round the corner.
1494
01:46:44,690 --> 01:46:47,276
Right. Well...
1495
01:46:49,152 --> 01:46:51,321
I just wanted to say
1496
01:46:53,323 --> 01:46:55,367
thank you for
the Christmas card.
1497
01:46:55,784 --> 01:46:57,286
You're welcome.
1498
01:46:57,578 --> 01:46:59,621
Look,
I'm so sorry
about that day.
1499
01:46:59,788 --> 01:47:01,498
I mean,
I came into the room
and he slinked towards me
1500
01:47:01,582 --> 01:47:02,708
and there was a fire
1501
01:47:02,791 --> 01:47:04,376
and he's
the President of
the United States
1502
01:47:04,459 --> 01:47:06,962
and nothing happened,
I promise.
1503
01:47:07,045 --> 01:47:10,048
And I just felt like
such a fool because
1504
01:47:10,549 --> 01:47:13,677
I think about you
all the time, actually.
1505
01:47:14,094 --> 01:47:15,178
And I think you're
the man I really...
1506
01:47:15,262 --> 01:47:17,306
We're here.
1507
01:47:17,389 --> 01:47:18,974
...love.
Oh, wow.
1508
01:47:19,099 --> 01:47:21,643
That really was
just round the corner.
1509
01:47:34,364 --> 01:47:35,616
(SIGHS)
1510
01:47:37,075 --> 01:47:39,036
Well, look, I...
1511
01:47:40,954 --> 01:47:43,165
I think I'd better
not come in, you know?
1512
01:47:44,207 --> 01:47:47,753
Last thing anyone wants
is some sleazy politician
stealing the kids' thunder.
1513
01:47:47,836 --> 01:47:51,465
No,
please come.
It'll be great.
1514
01:47:52,007 --> 01:47:54,593
No, I'd...
I'd better not.
1515
01:47:55,469 --> 01:48:00,057
But I will be very sorry
1516
01:48:00,140 --> 01:48:02,184
to drive away from you.
1517
01:48:03,935 --> 01:48:06,063
Just give me one second.
1518
01:48:20,160 --> 01:48:23,163
John's
been very mysterious.
Where did you two meet?
1519
01:48:29,503 --> 01:48:31,505
No!
1520
01:49:03,203 --> 01:49:05,872
Come on in.
We can watch
from backstage.
1521
01:49:06,581 --> 01:49:08,709
Okay. Terry,
I won't be long.
1522
01:49:12,212 --> 01:49:15,215
Look, this has to be
a very secret visit,
okay?
1523
01:49:15,298 --> 01:49:16,800
Don't worry.
This was my school.
1524
01:49:16,883 --> 01:49:18,885
I know my way around.
Come on.
1525
01:49:22,347 --> 01:49:25,100
Look, the sheep
are ready already
and you're not even...
1526
01:49:25,183 --> 01:49:26,935
David.
1527
01:49:27,144 --> 01:49:28,562
(EXCLAIMS)
1528
01:49:29,146 --> 01:49:31,398
How are you?
1529
01:49:31,773 --> 01:49:35,444
Hi, guys. Hey, hey, hey.
You all right?
1530
01:49:36,027 --> 01:49:38,155
What the hell
are you doing here?
1531
01:49:38,238 --> 01:49:39,239
Well, you know...
1532
01:49:39,322 --> 01:49:41,158
Well, I always tell your
secretary's secretary's
secretary
1533
01:49:41,241 --> 01:49:44,077
that these
things are going on,
but it never occurred to me
1534
01:49:44,161 --> 01:49:45,704
you'd actually turn up.
1535
01:49:45,787 --> 01:49:47,789
I thought it was
about time I did.
1536
01:49:47,873 --> 01:49:49,082
I just didn't
want anyone to see,
1537
01:49:49,166 --> 01:49:51,293
so I'm gonna hide myself
somewhere and watch the show.
1538
01:49:51,376 --> 01:49:54,004
Good luck, good luck, Daisy.
Good luck, Bernie.
1539
01:49:54,129 --> 01:49:57,632
I have to tell you,
I've never been gladder
to see my stupid big brother.
1540
01:49:57,716 --> 01:49:58,884
Thank you.
1541
01:49:58,967 --> 01:50:00,260
All right.
1542
01:50:01,303 --> 01:50:03,889
Now, we haven't
been introduced.
1543
01:50:04,306 --> 01:50:07,184
Right. Well, this is Gavin.
1544
01:50:07,267 --> 01:50:08,310
Hello, Gavin.
1545
01:50:08,393 --> 01:50:09,519
My copper.
1546
01:50:09,603 --> 01:50:11,563
And this is Natalie,
who's my...
1547
01:50:11,772 --> 01:50:14,316
Who's my
catering manager.
1548
01:50:15,066 --> 01:50:16,818
Hi.
Catering manager.
1549
01:50:16,902 --> 01:50:19,070
Watch out he keeps
his hands off you.
1550
01:50:19,154 --> 01:50:20,864
Twenty years ago,
you'd have been
just his type.
1551
01:50:20,947 --> 01:50:24,618
I'll be very careful.
Don't try something, sir,
just because it's Christmas.
1552
01:50:24,701 --> 01:50:26,119
(ALL LAUGHING)
1553
01:50:26,203 --> 01:50:27,204
No, seriously.
1554
01:50:27,287 --> 01:50:28,330
(BELL RINGING)
1555
01:50:28,413 --> 01:50:31,750
Come on.
Showtime. Quickly.
Look, see you after, yeah?
1556
01:50:31,833 --> 01:50:33,293
Yeah, probably. Yeah.
1557
01:50:33,376 --> 01:50:35,462
Thank you, Prime Minister.
1558
01:50:35,545 --> 01:50:36,588
It's all right.
1559
01:50:36,671 --> 01:50:38,131
Come on.
Right.
1560
01:50:38,215 --> 01:50:42,344
ALL: (SINGING)
Catch a falling star
and put it in your pocket
1561
01:50:42,511 --> 01:50:46,848
Save it for a rainy day
1562
01:50:46,932 --> 01:50:50,811
Catch a falling star
and put it in your pocket
1563
01:50:51,102 --> 01:50:54,397
Never let it fade away
1564
01:50:55,357 --> 01:50:59,277
Never let it fade away
1565
01:50:59,903 --> 01:51:04,825
Never let it fade away
1566
01:51:04,908 --> 01:51:06,493
(ALL APPLAUDING)
1567
01:51:12,499 --> 01:51:14,084
Hillier School would
now like to present
1568
01:51:14,167 --> 01:51:16,044
their chosen
Christmas number.
1569
01:51:16,127 --> 01:51:19,130
Lead vocals by 10-year-old
Joanna Anderson,
1570
01:51:19,214 --> 01:51:24,010
backing vocals
coordinated by her mother,
the great Mrs. Jean Anderson.
1571
01:51:24,427 --> 01:51:27,180
Some of the staff
have decided to
help out,
1572
01:51:27,264 --> 01:51:31,560
and for this,
we ask you to forgive us.
1573
01:51:31,977 --> 01:51:33,520
Thank you.
1574
01:51:33,603 --> 01:51:35,272
(CROWD APPLAUDING)
1575
01:51:39,276 --> 01:51:43,154
(SINGING) I don't want
a lot for Christmas
1576
01:51:43,238 --> 01:51:47,284
There's just one thing I need
1577
01:51:47,367 --> 01:51:50,537
I don't care
about the presents
1578
01:51:50,912 --> 01:51:54,624
Underneath
the Christmas tree
1579
01:51:54,791 --> 01:51:58,295
I just want you for my own
1580
01:51:58,420 --> 01:52:02,299
More than you
could ever know
1581
01:52:02,382 --> 01:52:06,136
Make my wish come true
1582
01:52:06,303 --> 01:52:10,265
All I want for Christmas
1583
01:52:10,640 --> 01:52:17,647
Is you
1584
01:52:20,483 --> 01:52:23,236
I don't want
a lot for Christmas
1585
01:52:23,320 --> 01:52:26,489
There's just
one thing I need
1586
01:52:26,823 --> 01:52:29,534
I don't care
about the presents
1587
01:52:29,618 --> 01:52:32,662
Underneath
the Christmas tree
1588
01:52:32,787 --> 01:52:35,916
I just want you for my own
1589
01:52:35,999 --> 01:52:39,044
More than you
could ever know
1590
01:52:39,294 --> 01:52:42,255
Make my wish come true
1591
01:52:42,464 --> 01:52:46,968
All I want for Christmas
is you
1592
01:52:48,595 --> 01:52:51,306
You, baby
1593
01:52:51,389 --> 01:52:54,935
All the lights are shining
1594
01:52:55,018 --> 01:52:58,939
So brightly everywhere
1595
01:52:59,105 --> 01:53:03,234
And the sound of
children's laughter
fills the air
1596
01:53:03,318 --> 01:53:05,278
Laughter fills the air
1597
01:53:05,362 --> 01:53:07,197
Everyone is singing
1598
01:53:07,280 --> 01:53:08,281
Oh, yeah
1599
01:53:08,365 --> 01:53:10,867
I hear those
sleigh bells ringing
1600
01:53:10,992 --> 01:53:13,578
Santa,
won't you bring me my honey?
1601
01:53:13,662 --> 01:53:17,207
Won't you please
bring my baby to me?
1602
01:53:17,290 --> 01:53:20,377
I don't want
a lot for Christmas
1603
01:53:20,460 --> 01:53:22,379
This is all I'm asking for
1604
01:53:22,462 --> 01:53:24,047
All I'm asking for
1605
01:53:24,130 --> 01:53:26,841
I just wanna see my baby
1606
01:53:26,925 --> 01:53:29,928
Standing right
outside my door
1607
01:53:30,053 --> 01:53:32,597
'Cause I just
want you for my own
1608
01:53:33,306 --> 01:53:34,724
More than you
could ever know
1609
01:53:34,808 --> 01:53:36,434
You will ever know
1610
01:53:36,518 --> 01:53:39,396
Make my wish come true
1611
01:53:39,479 --> 01:53:43,441
All I want for Christmas
1612
01:53:43,525 --> 01:53:47,195
Is you
1613
01:53:47,529 --> 01:53:49,739
All I want for Christmas
1614
01:53:49,990 --> 01:53:53,368
And you and you
1615
01:53:53,618 --> 01:53:54,869
And you and you
1616
01:53:54,953 --> 01:53:56,579
All I want for Christmas
1617
01:53:57,038 --> 01:54:00,417
All I want for Christmas
1618
01:54:00,500 --> 01:54:02,168
(CROWD CHEERING)
1619
01:54:15,223 --> 01:54:16,474
(CAMERAS CLICKING)
1620
01:54:17,142 --> 01:54:19,060
Right.
1621
01:54:22,355 --> 01:54:24,357
So, not quite as secret
as we'd hoped.
1622
01:54:24,441 --> 01:54:25,942
What do we do now?
1623
01:54:26,026 --> 01:54:27,068
Smile.
1624
01:54:27,736 --> 01:54:29,738
Little bow.
1625
01:54:29,821 --> 01:54:31,406
(ALL CHEERING)
1626
01:54:33,241 --> 01:54:35,326
And a wave.
1627
01:54:35,744 --> 01:54:37,162
(BOTH LAUGHING)
1628
01:54:49,007 --> 01:54:51,843
Absolutely no idea.
I mean, can you imagine?
1629
01:54:51,926 --> 01:54:53,928
I'll see you later,
all right?
1630
01:54:54,012 --> 01:54:56,097
I'll speak to you. Bye.
1631
01:54:58,933 --> 01:55:02,896
Tell me, if you
were in my position,
what would you do?
1632
01:55:03,271 --> 01:55:05,190
What position is that?
1633
01:55:05,273 --> 01:55:09,069
Imagine your husband
bought a gold necklace
1634
01:55:09,152 --> 01:55:12,155
and, come Christmas,
gave it to somebody
else.
1635
01:55:12,363 --> 01:55:13,364
Karen...
1636
01:55:13,448 --> 01:55:14,699
Would you wait around
to find out...
1637
01:55:14,783 --> 01:55:15,784
Good night.
1638
01:55:15,867 --> 01:55:17,494
Night, darling.
Happy Christmas.
1639
01:55:17,577 --> 01:55:20,580
Would you wait around
to find out if it's
just a necklace
1640
01:55:20,663 --> 01:55:23,124
or if it's sex
and a necklace
1641
01:55:23,208 --> 01:55:26,544
or if, worst of all,
it's a necklace and
love?
1642
01:55:28,379 --> 01:55:29,589
Would you stay?
1643
01:55:29,672 --> 01:55:32,550
Knowing life
would always be
a little bit worse?
1644
01:55:33,510 --> 01:55:34,511
Or would you cut and run?
1645
01:55:34,594 --> 01:55:36,805
Oh, God.
1646
01:55:41,643 --> 01:55:44,312
I am so in the wrong.
1647
01:55:44,479 --> 01:55:46,439
A classic fool.
1648
01:55:46,689 --> 01:55:49,734
Yes, but you've also
made a fool out of me.
1649
01:55:49,818 --> 01:55:52,570
You've
made the life
I lead foolish, too.
1650
01:55:55,031 --> 01:55:57,867
Darling. Darlings!
1651
01:55:57,951 --> 01:56:01,412
You were wonderful.
1652
01:56:01,496 --> 01:56:04,290
My little lobster,
you were so...
1653
01:56:04,374 --> 01:56:06,584
What is that word?
1654
01:56:06,751 --> 01:56:08,628
Orange.
1655
01:56:09,087 --> 01:56:12,048
Come on,
I've got treats at
home. Dad's coming.
1656
01:56:13,591 --> 01:56:18,138
Sammy! Fantastic show!
Classic drumming, Son.
1657
01:56:18,513 --> 01:56:21,391
Thanks.
Plan didn't work, though.
1658
01:56:21,474 --> 01:56:22,475
Tell her, then.
1659
01:56:22,559 --> 01:56:24,644
Tell her what?
Tell her that you love her.
1660
01:56:24,727 --> 01:56:27,522
No way.
Anyway, they fly tonight.
1661
01:56:27,605 --> 01:56:31,067
Even better.
Sam, you've got
nothing to lose,
1662
01:56:31,151 --> 01:56:33,653
and you'll always
regret it if you don't.
1663
01:56:34,779 --> 01:56:36,656
I never told
your mom enough.
1664
01:56:36,739 --> 01:56:38,158
I should have
told her every day,
1665
01:56:38,241 --> 01:56:41,035
because she was perfect
every day.
1666
01:56:42,453 --> 01:56:46,583
You've seen the films, kiddo.
It ain't over till it's over.
1667
01:56:48,793 --> 01:56:51,212
Okay, Dad. Let's do it.
1668
01:56:51,504 --> 01:56:53,548
Let's go get the shit
kicked out of us by love.
1669
01:56:53,631 --> 01:56:54,632
Yes.
1670
01:56:55,592 --> 01:56:56,801
Just give me one sec.
1671
01:56:56,885 --> 01:56:57,927
Yeah.
1672
01:56:59,387 --> 01:57:00,513
I'm sorry.
1673
01:57:00,597 --> 01:57:01,681
Sorry.
1674
01:57:02,724 --> 01:57:04,267
That's okay.
1675
01:57:04,350 --> 01:57:05,685
My fault.
1676
01:57:05,768 --> 01:57:07,437
No, no, really, it wasn't.
1677
01:57:08,188 --> 01:57:10,064
You're Sam's dad, aren't you?
1678
01:57:11,191 --> 01:57:13,943
Yeah. Stepdad, actually.
1679
01:57:15,028 --> 01:57:17,030
Daniel.
I'm Carol.
1680
01:57:17,113 --> 01:57:18,823
Carol.
1681
01:57:19,073 --> 01:57:20,950
Okay, I'm back. Let's go.
1682
01:57:21,034 --> 01:57:23,536
Yeah. Well...
1683
01:57:24,621 --> 01:57:26,831
I hope we'll meet again,
Karen.
1684
01:57:27,123 --> 01:57:28,333
Carol.
1685
01:57:28,416 --> 01:57:29,667
(LAUGHS)
1686
01:57:31,169 --> 01:57:32,962
I'll make sure we do.
1687
01:57:33,046 --> 01:57:34,964
Yeah? Good.
1688
01:57:43,681 --> 01:57:45,141
Tell her.
What?
1689
01:57:45,225 --> 01:57:46,684
You know...
1690
01:57:46,768 --> 01:57:48,686
Don't be such an arse.
1691
01:57:52,106 --> 01:57:54,108
Look, there she is.
Where?
1692
01:57:54,192 --> 01:57:55,693
Over there.
1693
01:57:58,321 --> 01:57:59,530
Oh, no.
1694
01:58:01,074 --> 01:58:04,118
It's okay, we'll go to the
airport. I know a shortcut.
1695
01:58:19,759 --> 01:58:20,885
(IN PORTUGUESE)
1696
01:58:22,887 --> 01:58:24,305
(SPEAKING PORTUGUESE)
1697
01:58:24,764 --> 01:58:26,432
(IN PORTUGUESE)
1698
01:58:41,614 --> 01:58:42,949
(IN PORTUGUESE)
1699
01:58:49,789 --> 01:58:52,000
(IN PORTUGUESE)
1700
01:58:54,711 --> 01:58:56,546
(IN PORTUGUESE)
1701
01:59:05,763 --> 01:59:07,974
(IN PORTUGUESE)
1702
01:59:14,605 --> 01:59:16,607
Wait. Wait.
1703
01:59:19,819 --> 01:59:21,195
Oh, no.
1704
01:59:22,864 --> 01:59:25,742
(IN PORTUGUESE)
1705
01:59:32,915 --> 01:59:34,208
Look,
we're not actually flying.
1706
01:59:34,292 --> 01:59:36,586
You can't come through
without a boarding pass.
1707
01:59:36,669 --> 01:59:40,965
Not even to let
the boy say goodbye
to the love of his life?
1708
01:59:42,717 --> 01:59:43,801
No.
1709
01:59:46,846 --> 01:59:48,973
I'm sorry, Sam.
Boarding pass, sir?
1710
01:59:50,183 --> 01:59:51,768
Just a moment,
I know I've got
it here somewhere.
1711
01:59:51,851 --> 01:59:53,895
Sorry.
Would you mind
hanging on to that?
1712
01:59:53,978 --> 01:59:55,730
Unless...
What?
1713
01:59:55,813 --> 01:59:57,106
Do you want to
make a run for it?
1714
01:59:57,190 --> 01:59:58,566
Hold on to that, as well.
1715
01:59:58,649 --> 01:59:59,859
You think I should?
Yeah.
1716
01:59:59,942 --> 02:00:01,569
Thank you. Hold those.
1717
02:00:01,652 --> 02:00:03,696
Okay.
1718
02:00:03,780 --> 02:00:04,781
Yes!
1719
02:00:04,864 --> 02:00:07,867
No, I must have left them
where I was having
a cup of coffee.
1720
02:00:07,950 --> 02:00:09,285
I'm sorry.
1721
02:00:26,511 --> 02:00:27,970
(BEEPING)
1722
02:01:10,972 --> 02:01:11,973
(INAUDIBLE)
1723
02:01:14,892 --> 02:01:16,978
(PEOPLE CHATTERING)
1724
02:01:22,024 --> 02:01:24,026
(IN PORTUGUESE)
1725
02:02:01,272 --> 02:02:03,274
Joanna.
1726
02:02:04,358 --> 02:02:06,360
Sam?
1727
02:02:09,655 --> 02:02:11,449
I thought you
didn't know my name.
1728
02:02:11,532 --> 02:02:12,783
Course I do.
1729
02:02:14,076 --> 02:02:17,622
Oh, Jesus.
Here, I've gotta run.
1730
02:03:10,049 --> 02:03:11,300
(IN PORTUGUESE)
1731
02:03:11,717 --> 02:03:13,094
(IN PORTUGUESE)
1732
02:03:36,784 --> 02:03:38,202
(SPEAKING PORTUGUESE)
1733
02:03:40,162 --> 02:03:41,581
(SPEAKING PORTUGUESE)
1734
02:03:57,305 --> 02:03:58,639
(IN PORTUGUESE)
1735
02:04:35,509 --> 02:04:37,094
(IN PORTUGUESE)
1736
02:04:40,389 --> 02:04:41,515
(SHUSHING)
1737
02:04:42,600 --> 02:04:44,393
(IN PORTUGUESE)
1738
02:05:07,083 --> 02:05:09,043
(IN PORTUGUESE)
1739
02:05:13,464 --> 02:05:15,466
Thank you.
1740
02:05:17,426 --> 02:05:19,428
That will be nice.
1741
02:05:21,555 --> 02:05:24,225
Yes is being my answer.
1742
02:05:26,644 --> 02:05:28,312
Easy question.
1743
02:05:28,688 --> 02:05:30,064
(IN PORTUGUESE)
1744
02:05:31,190 --> 02:05:32,316
(IN PORTUGUESE)
1745
02:05:33,109 --> 02:05:34,151
(ALL CHEERING)
1746
02:05:34,985 --> 02:05:36,237
Bravo!
1747
02:06:02,888 --> 02:06:04,974
You learned English?
1748
02:06:05,391 --> 02:06:07,518
Just in cases.
1749
02:06:49,101 --> 02:06:50,436
Hello, Daisy.
1750
02:06:50,519 --> 02:06:52,229
This one's Greta.
1751
02:06:52,313 --> 02:06:53,314
Hello, Greta.
1752
02:06:55,316 --> 02:06:59,403
Here she is. This is Aurelia.
This is Juliet. This is Peter.
1753
02:06:59,528 --> 02:07:01,238
Mark, hi,
didn't see you there.
1754
02:07:01,322 --> 02:07:02,573
Yeah,
just thought
I'd tag along.
1755
02:07:02,656 --> 02:07:05,451
Jamie's friends
are so good-looking.
1756
02:07:05,826 --> 02:07:07,995
He never tells me this.
1757
02:07:08,245 --> 02:07:11,123
I think maybe now
I have made the
wrong choice,
1758
02:07:11,207 --> 02:07:13,000
picked wrong Englishman.
1759
02:07:13,083 --> 02:07:14,126
She can't speak
English properly.
1760
02:07:14,210 --> 02:07:16,128
She doesn't know
what she's saying.
1761
02:07:16,212 --> 02:07:18,297
DAISY: Dad! Dad!
1762
02:07:20,299 --> 02:07:22,051
Oh, God.
1763
02:07:22,426 --> 02:07:23,427
Did you get us any presents?
1764
02:07:23,511 --> 02:07:25,429
As a matter of fact, I did.
1765
02:07:25,513 --> 02:07:27,139
BERNIE: Thanks, Dad.
1766
02:07:30,851 --> 02:07:32,019
How are you?
1767
02:07:32,102 --> 02:07:33,854
I'm fine. I'm fine.
1768
02:07:35,731 --> 02:07:37,691
Good to have you back.
1769
02:07:37,775 --> 02:07:40,110
Come on. Home.
1770
02:07:43,072 --> 02:07:45,074
There she is.
1771
02:07:46,575 --> 02:07:49,161
Hi.
1772
02:07:49,245 --> 02:07:50,412
Hello.
1773
02:07:50,496 --> 02:07:52,748
He should have kissed her.
1774
02:07:52,832 --> 02:07:54,375
No, that's cool.
1775
02:07:56,418 --> 02:07:58,963
Hey.
What are you
two doing here?
1776
02:07:59,964 --> 02:08:01,215
I might get a shag at last.
1777
02:08:01,298 --> 02:08:02,550
Naughty.
1778
02:08:02,633 --> 02:08:03,634
Got to go.
1779
02:08:03,717 --> 02:08:05,052
Bye.
1780
02:08:06,178 --> 02:08:07,429
(EXCLAIMS)
1781
02:08:10,766 --> 02:08:13,477
Now, this is Harriet.
1782
02:08:14,603 --> 02:08:17,606
Hi.
Really pleased to meet you.
1783
02:08:17,690 --> 02:08:19,233
Hello, Harriet.
1784
02:08:19,316 --> 02:08:23,320
I hope you don't mind,
I sort of brought my
sister to stay.
1785
02:08:24,822 --> 02:08:29,285
This is Carla.
She's real friendly.
1786
02:08:29,869 --> 02:08:32,121
Hello, you must be Tony.
1787
02:08:33,414 --> 02:08:35,416
I heard you were gorgeous.
1788
02:08:48,053 --> 02:08:49,138
God, you weigh a lot.
1789
02:08:49,221 --> 02:08:50,431
Shut your face.
127599
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