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1
00:00:08,074 --> 00:00:09,753
Why don't you get
Your own paper?
2
00:00:09,777 --> 00:00:12,043
'cause I like yours better.
3
00:00:12,078 --> 00:00:14,680
You know who
This guy looks like?
4
00:00:14,715 --> 00:00:16,682
One of your relatives?
5
00:00:16,717 --> 00:00:18,116
My cousin, sidney kotter!
6
00:00:18,151 --> 00:00:19,384
That's amazing!
7
00:00:19,420 --> 00:00:24,623
Amazing isn't even...
Sidney's very stupid.
8
00:00:24,658 --> 00:00:26,925
How stupid is he?
9
00:00:26,961 --> 00:00:29,161
Well, cousin sid was so stupid
10
00:00:29,196 --> 00:00:31,796
That one time he
Locked his keys in his car.
11
00:00:31,832 --> 00:00:33,410
So he calls up the auto club
12
00:00:33,434 --> 00:00:36,901
And he said, "Um...
13
00:00:36,937 --> 00:00:42,207
Uh, I forgot why I called.
14
00:00:42,242 --> 00:00:45,377
Oh yeah, I locked
My keys in my car.
15
00:00:45,412 --> 00:00:46,856
And I want you to
Come here and help me
16
00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:49,214
Get the keys out of the car."
17
00:00:49,249 --> 00:00:51,650
Okay, what did
The auto club say?
18
00:00:51,685 --> 00:00:53,362
They said, "Well,
Sir, we'll be there
19
00:00:53,386 --> 00:00:54,953
In about one hour."
20
00:00:54,989 --> 00:00:56,454
A-ha!
21
00:00:56,490 --> 00:00:59,557
You wanna know what
Cousin sidney said?
22
00:00:59,592 --> 00:01:00,825
Yeah.
23
00:01:00,860 --> 00:01:04,762
He said, "Well, you can't
Come here in an hour,
24
00:01:04,798 --> 00:01:07,599
Because it's raining out,
25
00:01:07,634 --> 00:01:10,802
And the car's a convertible,
26
00:01:10,837 --> 00:01:14,206
And I left the top down."
27
00:01:17,311 --> 00:01:23,181
♪
28
00:01:25,252 --> 00:01:27,986
♪ welcome back ♪
29
00:01:28,022 --> 00:01:31,723
♪ your dreams were
Your ticket out ♪
30
00:01:31,758 --> 00:01:33,992
♪ welcome back ♪
31
00:01:34,027 --> 00:01:38,763
♪ to that same old place
That you laughed about ♪
32
00:01:38,799 --> 00:01:40,932
♪ well the names
Have all changed
33
00:01:40,968 --> 00:01:43,235
Since you hung around ♪
34
00:01:43,270 --> 00:01:45,370
♪ but those dreams have remained
35
00:01:45,405 --> 00:01:47,539
And they've turned around ♪
36
00:01:47,575 --> 00:01:49,607
♪ who'd have thought
They'd lead ya ♪
37
00:01:49,643 --> 00:01:51,421
♪ who'd have thought
They'd lead ya ♪
38
00:01:51,445 --> 00:01:53,545
♪ back here where we need ya ♪
39
00:01:53,580 --> 00:01:55,881
♪ back here where we need ya ♪
40
00:01:55,916 --> 00:01:57,815
♪ yeah, we tease him a lot
41
00:01:57,851 --> 00:01:59,984
'cause we got him on the spot ♪
42
00:02:00,020 --> 00:02:02,154
♪ welcome back ♪
43
00:02:02,189 --> 00:02:07,025
♪ welcome back, welcome
Back, welcome back ♪♪
44
00:02:10,363 --> 00:02:16,234
♪
45
00:02:29,950 --> 00:02:33,051
Okay.
46
00:02:33,086 --> 00:02:34,363
Okay, where was
The biggest battle
47
00:02:34,387 --> 00:02:35,954
Of world war ii fought?
48
00:02:35,990 --> 00:02:38,523
Newark when they
Tried to draft my uncle.
49
00:02:38,558 --> 00:02:41,460
Ha-ha-ha!
50
00:02:41,495 --> 00:02:42,461
Right.
51
00:02:42,496 --> 00:02:45,197
Now, the allied forces... Right?
52
00:02:45,232 --> 00:02:50,001
Hey mr. Kotter, I made a joke.
53
00:02:50,037 --> 00:02:53,872
Well, don't do that.
54
00:02:53,907 --> 00:02:55,607
Okay, now where was I?
55
00:02:55,642 --> 00:02:58,509
Excuse mr. Kotter-r-r-r!
56
00:03:01,582 --> 00:03:03,392
I do not think that
You are with us
57
00:03:03,416 --> 00:03:07,052
In this classroom here.
58
00:03:07,087 --> 00:03:09,054
Wanna go to the bathroom?
59
00:03:09,089 --> 00:03:10,089
Go ahead.
60
00:03:10,123 --> 00:03:12,057
Huh?
61
00:03:17,831 --> 00:03:18,841
Horshack, where are you doing?
62
00:03:18,865 --> 00:03:20,109
You just can't get up and leave!
63
00:03:20,133 --> 00:03:24,135
You just told me to
Go to the bathroom!
64
00:03:24,170 --> 00:03:26,538
- I did?
- yeah!
65
00:03:26,574 --> 00:03:29,741
I don't remember saying that.
66
00:03:29,777 --> 00:03:32,878
Epstein, did I tell horshack
To go to the bathroom?
67
00:03:32,913 --> 00:03:36,481
It's okay, mr. Kotter, I
Don't gotta go no more.
68
00:03:40,154 --> 00:03:42,098
What's the matter with
You, mr. Kotter man?
69
00:03:42,122 --> 00:03:46,358
You've been acting like your
Mind's absent or something.
70
00:03:46,393 --> 00:03:49,427
I think somebody should
Call mr. Kotter's house
71
00:03:49,462 --> 00:03:52,530
And find out if he left yet.
72
00:03:55,702 --> 00:03:56,712
Man, what's the matter with you?
73
00:03:56,736 --> 00:03:58,102
What's your problem?
74
00:03:58,138 --> 00:03:59,449
I'm sorry, freddie,
You guys are right.
75
00:03:59,473 --> 00:04:00,650
I'm a little out of it today.
76
00:04:00,674 --> 00:04:02,819
I think, uh, well, just
A couple of problems
77
00:04:02,843 --> 00:04:04,308
I got going on at home.
78
00:04:04,344 --> 00:04:09,080
I'll be all right.
79
00:04:09,115 --> 00:04:11,783
I gotta get a new case.
80
00:04:11,818 --> 00:04:13,785
Problems at home.
81
00:04:13,820 --> 00:04:17,189
Ooohh, mr. Kotter!
82
00:04:17,224 --> 00:04:19,691
In due time I'm sure
The misses will
83
00:04:19,726 --> 00:04:22,194
Come back to you.
84
00:04:22,229 --> 00:04:24,463
It's nothing to do with julie!
85
00:04:24,498 --> 00:04:26,264
Now, look, mr. Kotter!
86
00:04:26,300 --> 00:04:27,632
You gotta let it out!
87
00:04:27,667 --> 00:04:31,669
It's okay to cry, bubby.
88
00:04:31,705 --> 00:04:36,174
Come on, now, you're
A broken man here.
89
00:04:36,210 --> 00:04:39,344
Epstein, put that fungus
Back in your pocket.
90
00:04:42,582 --> 00:04:44,982
Look, I'm telling you
People it has nothing
91
00:04:45,018 --> 00:04:46,651
To do with julie.
92
00:04:46,686 --> 00:04:52,724
It's just... It's just...
93
00:04:52,759 --> 00:04:54,359
- say it!
- say it!
94
00:04:54,394 --> 00:04:56,327
- say it!
- say it!
95
00:04:56,363 --> 00:04:57,562
Tell the truth!
96
00:04:57,597 --> 00:04:59,209
The truth will set you free!
97
00:04:59,233 --> 00:05:00,398
Say it, say it, say it!
98
00:05:00,433 --> 00:05:04,436
All right, all right,
All right, all right!
99
00:05:04,471 --> 00:05:08,473
My father's coming for a visit!
100
00:05:08,509 --> 00:05:09,407
Oh boy.
101
00:05:09,442 --> 00:05:10,442
I don't believe it.
102
00:05:10,477 --> 00:05:12,176
That's all?
103
00:05:12,212 --> 00:05:17,215
His pop's is coming for a visit?
104
00:05:17,251 --> 00:05:20,886
What?
105
00:05:20,921 --> 00:05:23,788
His father is
Coming for a visit.
106
00:05:23,823 --> 00:05:25,368
Oh, is that what's
Making you dopier
107
00:05:25,392 --> 00:05:28,193
Than us all week?
108
00:05:28,228 --> 00:05:30,395
Now, listen vinnie, I
Want you to picture this:
109
00:05:30,431 --> 00:05:32,964
An old man travels 1400 miles
110
00:05:32,999 --> 00:05:34,377
To say hello to his son.
111
00:05:34,401 --> 00:05:37,969
Now, try to imagine that.
112
00:05:38,005 --> 00:05:39,137
How's he getting here?
113
00:05:39,172 --> 00:05:40,650
I mean, is he taking
A bus or a train?
114
00:05:40,674 --> 00:05:42,741
Or a plane or what?
115
00:05:42,776 --> 00:05:46,077
He's traveling 1400 miles,
Just imagine that, okay?
116
00:05:46,112 --> 00:05:47,324
Well, I mean, how's he doing it?
117
00:05:47,348 --> 00:05:48,825
The first class, the coach,
118
00:05:48,849 --> 00:05:50,482
The night coach?
119
00:05:50,517 --> 00:05:52,484
The caboose?
120
00:05:52,519 --> 00:05:55,687
He's on a scooter, all right?
121
00:05:55,722 --> 00:05:57,567
Just imagine an old
Man 1400 miles traveling
122
00:05:57,591 --> 00:05:58,557
To see his son, right?
123
00:05:58,592 --> 00:05:59,592
Ya got it?
124
00:05:59,626 --> 00:06:01,760
That's really nice
He's doing that.
125
00:06:01,795 --> 00:06:05,597
- yeah, I got it.
- good. Forget it.
126
00:06:05,632 --> 00:06:06,865
That's not it.
127
00:06:06,900 --> 00:06:08,144
Now, I want you to
Picture something else.
128
00:06:08,168 --> 00:06:10,146
I want you to imagine
It's new years eve.
129
00:06:10,170 --> 00:06:11,136
- all right.
- okay.
130
00:06:11,171 --> 00:06:13,104
And you're on the titanic.
131
00:06:13,140 --> 00:06:15,307
You're there and you're
Dancing in your tuxedo,
132
00:06:15,342 --> 00:06:16,719
You're really feeling good.
133
00:06:16,743 --> 00:06:18,487
You're doing a little bit
Of the conga, ya know?
134
00:06:18,511 --> 00:06:20,211
Up-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum.
135
00:06:20,246 --> 00:06:22,113
Up-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum.
136
00:06:22,148 --> 00:06:23,882
Up-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum.
137
00:06:23,917 --> 00:06:25,517
Up-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum.
138
00:06:25,552 --> 00:06:27,263
And all of a sudden, you see it.
139
00:06:27,287 --> 00:06:29,153
Looming high over the ocean.
140
00:06:29,189 --> 00:06:31,556
Threatening, it's
Getting closer,
141
00:06:31,591 --> 00:06:34,125
And closer, and
Bigger, and bigger!
142
00:06:34,160 --> 00:06:36,060
It's an iceberg, you got it?
143
00:06:36,096 --> 00:06:37,762
Got it!
144
00:06:37,797 --> 00:06:39,375
Put a sports shirt
On that iceberg
145
00:06:39,399 --> 00:06:44,936
And that's my father.
146
00:06:44,972 --> 00:06:46,804
Sports shirt on the iceberg.
147
00:06:46,840 --> 00:06:48,706
Sports shirt on the iceberg!
148
00:06:48,741 --> 00:06:50,541
Sports shirt on the iceberg!
149
00:06:50,577 --> 00:06:53,078
Aye-ya-ya-ya-yi!
150
00:06:59,085 --> 00:07:01,218
Gabe, get up.
151
00:07:01,254 --> 00:07:03,721
I'm up, I'm up.
152
00:07:03,757 --> 00:07:06,323
Gabe, a man lying under a sheet
153
00:07:06,359 --> 00:07:08,592
And two blankets
In a fetal position
154
00:07:08,628 --> 00:07:10,328
Is not up.
155
00:07:10,363 --> 00:07:11,541
Come on, you're gonna be late!
156
00:07:11,565 --> 00:07:16,434
It's uh, it's 7:13
In 37 seconds.
157
00:07:16,470 --> 00:07:19,670
What did I marry,
A digital wife?
158
00:07:19,706 --> 00:07:21,506
Gabe, get up, come on.
159
00:07:21,541 --> 00:07:24,509
Here.
160
00:07:24,544 --> 00:07:28,613
Take the pillows too, thank you.
161
00:07:28,648 --> 00:07:30,093
I wonder why your
Father's coming
162
00:07:30,117 --> 00:07:31,427
All the way up from
Fort lauderdale
163
00:07:31,451 --> 00:07:33,418
Just like that.
164
00:07:33,453 --> 00:07:35,753
Julie, charlie kotter's
Only done two things
165
00:07:35,789 --> 00:07:38,256
In his life just like that.
166
00:07:38,292 --> 00:07:42,360
One was me and the other
One was my brother mel.
167
00:07:42,395 --> 00:07:44,128
Maybe he's bored.
168
00:07:44,164 --> 00:07:45,997
Why should he be bored?
169
00:07:46,032 --> 00:07:49,601
He's got my mom,
He's got the store,
170
00:07:49,636 --> 00:07:50,679
And a steady stream of tourists
171
00:07:50,703 --> 00:07:51,880
Buying tee shirts that say,
172
00:07:51,904 --> 00:07:55,240
"Florida grapefruits,
Hands off."
173
00:07:55,275 --> 00:07:56,819
Well, I don't care what you say,
174
00:07:56,843 --> 00:07:58,343
I'm glad he's coming.
175
00:07:58,378 --> 00:08:00,811
It's thoughtful, it's generous.
176
00:08:02,349 --> 00:08:05,150
He's here.
177
00:08:05,185 --> 00:08:06,462
You get the door,
I'll check the flights
178
00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:08,653
Back to miami.
179
00:08:12,125 --> 00:08:13,991
Charlie!
180
00:08:20,667 --> 00:08:24,169
Julie darling, you
Look beautiful!
181
00:08:24,204 --> 00:08:26,015
Is he giving you any trouble?
182
00:08:26,039 --> 00:08:27,004
You!
183
00:08:27,040 --> 00:08:29,941
Wash your teeth.
184
00:08:29,976 --> 00:08:32,043
Well, it's nice to
See you too pop.
185
00:08:32,079 --> 00:08:33,544
Already it starts!
186
00:08:33,580 --> 00:08:36,848
Lies.
187
00:08:36,884 --> 00:08:38,549
What is he talking about?
188
00:08:38,585 --> 00:08:39,929
It's good to see you,
I haven't seen you
189
00:08:39,953 --> 00:08:41,019
For a year!
190
00:08:41,054 --> 00:08:42,365
Well, if you were
So anxious to see me,
191
00:08:42,389 --> 00:08:45,390
How come you didn't
Meet me at the airport?
192
00:08:45,425 --> 00:08:47,470
He's unbelievable, I
Don't believe this man.
193
00:08:47,494 --> 00:08:48,871
I called him 10 times, I said,
194
00:08:48,895 --> 00:08:50,840
"Pop, can I pick you
Up at the airport?"
195
00:08:50,864 --> 00:08:52,708
He says 10 times "Don't bother."
196
00:08:52,732 --> 00:08:55,366
Since when do you
Listen to your father?
197
00:08:55,401 --> 00:08:57,669
What are you waiting for, a tip?
198
00:08:57,704 --> 00:09:02,139
Put the suitcase down.
199
00:09:02,175 --> 00:09:06,477
He came 1400 miles so
He can insult his son.
200
00:09:06,513 --> 00:09:09,480
So pop, how's mom?
201
00:09:09,516 --> 00:09:14,185
Well, you finally
Thought to ask.
202
00:09:14,221 --> 00:09:17,589
He's been here
For seven seconds.
203
00:09:17,624 --> 00:09:19,657
Boy, did we have a scare.
204
00:09:19,693 --> 00:09:21,292
We almost lost her!
205
00:09:21,328 --> 00:09:22,505
Pop, what are you talking about?
206
00:09:22,529 --> 00:09:23,940
I'm talking about a
Woman who almost
207
00:09:23,964 --> 00:09:25,997
Keeled over the counter.
208
00:09:26,033 --> 00:09:27,699
She was so dizzy.
209
00:09:27,734 --> 00:09:29,968
Oh, which reminds me...
210
00:09:30,003 --> 00:09:31,736
Business is terrific.
211
00:09:31,772 --> 00:09:33,182
We're moving four
And a half groves
212
00:09:33,206 --> 00:09:34,438
Of coconut paperweights...
213
00:09:34,474 --> 00:09:37,575
Forget about the
Coconut paperweights!
214
00:09:37,610 --> 00:09:39,610
What happened with
Mom, what's wrong?
215
00:09:39,646 --> 00:09:41,512
She broke her heel.
216
00:09:41,548 --> 00:09:42,781
She hurt her foot?
217
00:09:42,816 --> 00:09:44,727
No, she broke the
Heel on her shoe,
218
00:09:44,751 --> 00:09:46,529
She was walking around
With a broken heel
219
00:09:46,553 --> 00:09:50,655
And that's what made her dizzy.
220
00:09:50,690 --> 00:09:54,692
So... This is it?
221
00:09:54,727 --> 00:09:56,727
This is where you live now?
222
00:09:56,763 --> 00:09:57,940
No pop, we don't live here,
223
00:09:57,964 --> 00:10:02,500
We have a six room
Duplex on park avenue.
224
00:10:02,535 --> 00:10:03,746
We're just staying
Here till they finish
225
00:10:03,770 --> 00:10:06,304
The backgammon room.
226
00:10:06,339 --> 00:10:09,207
Listen wise guy, the
Cab that drove me here
227
00:10:09,242 --> 00:10:13,811
From the airport was
Bigger than this place.
228
00:10:13,846 --> 00:10:15,291
It's a good thing
I'm staying over
229
00:10:15,315 --> 00:10:16,614
At your brother melvin's.
230
00:10:16,649 --> 00:10:18,015
You remember melvin?
231
00:10:18,051 --> 00:10:19,350
The big shot doctor?
232
00:10:19,386 --> 00:10:22,686
He's got a 10 room house,
He's got a swimming pool.
233
00:10:22,722 --> 00:10:24,733
I remember, we slept
Together for five years,
234
00:10:24,757 --> 00:10:25,757
I remember.
235
00:10:25,792 --> 00:10:27,158
That you remember?
236
00:10:27,193 --> 00:10:29,460
The man makes $100,000 a year!
237
00:10:29,495 --> 00:10:31,963
Those days he wasn't
Making $100,000 a year.
238
00:10:31,998 --> 00:10:35,833
He was wetting the bed.
239
00:10:35,868 --> 00:10:38,569
You were any different?
240
00:10:38,605 --> 00:10:41,006
Look, will you two please stop?
241
00:10:41,041 --> 00:10:42,384
Okay, charlie, what
Do you wanna eat?
242
00:10:42,408 --> 00:10:44,909
Darling, whatever
You're cooking,
243
00:10:44,945 --> 00:10:48,112
I don't care what
It is, I'm eating it.
244
00:10:48,147 --> 00:10:51,416
Even if it's only
Two eggs over easy,
245
00:10:51,451 --> 00:10:54,118
Buttered english
Muffins, a cup of tea,
246
00:10:54,153 --> 00:10:57,088
No sugar but a dab
Of natural honey.
247
00:10:57,123 --> 00:10:58,467
Such an easy man to please.
248
00:10:58,491 --> 00:11:01,259
Now, there's a person!
249
00:11:01,294 --> 00:11:03,161
Huh, gabe?
250
00:11:03,196 --> 00:11:05,063
Did you found a real job yet?
251
00:11:05,098 --> 00:11:07,598
Or are you still teaching
Those sweat hogs?
252
00:11:07,633 --> 00:11:09,934
Pop, I feel good, I feel useful.
253
00:11:09,969 --> 00:11:11,446
Sorta like you do
When you sell someone
254
00:11:11,470 --> 00:11:15,440
An alligator toilet seat.
255
00:11:15,475 --> 00:11:18,443
Alligator toilet seat's are out.
256
00:11:18,478 --> 00:11:22,280
Sharks are a big seller.
257
00:11:22,315 --> 00:11:24,649
By the way, gabe,
Whatever happened
258
00:11:24,684 --> 00:11:27,252
To that, uh, that sweet little
259
00:11:27,287 --> 00:11:30,221
School teacher
That hated your guts?
260
00:11:30,257 --> 00:11:33,258
Mikey woodman I think it is.
261
00:11:33,293 --> 00:11:36,160
Woodman's the vice principal
Now, still the same though.
262
00:11:36,195 --> 00:11:39,831
Let's not talk about
Him, I'm eating, okay?
263
00:11:39,866 --> 00:11:41,966
Pop, level with me.
264
00:11:42,002 --> 00:11:43,334
What are you doing here?
265
00:11:43,369 --> 00:11:46,470
Gabe, think about your future.
266
00:11:46,506 --> 00:11:49,874
You know, there's no future
In teaching sweat hogs.
267
00:11:49,910 --> 00:11:51,943
Think beach towels.
268
00:11:51,978 --> 00:11:54,245
Think beer can hats.
269
00:11:54,281 --> 00:11:56,947
Think folding fishing rods.
270
00:11:56,983 --> 00:11:58,461
What are you trying to say?
271
00:11:58,485 --> 00:12:00,218
What am I trying to say?
272
00:12:00,253 --> 00:12:02,287
Kotter and son mementoes.
273
00:12:02,322 --> 00:12:03,566
I got a proposition for you.
274
00:12:03,590 --> 00:12:04,556
I wanna make you a partner.
275
00:12:04,591 --> 00:12:06,891
What do you say?
276
00:12:06,926 --> 00:12:08,426
Pop.
277
00:12:08,461 --> 00:12:10,995
We'll talk about it later, okay?
278
00:12:11,030 --> 00:12:13,698
Charlie, you know,
You don't understand.
279
00:12:13,733 --> 00:12:16,334
The sweat hogs need gabe.
280
00:12:16,369 --> 00:12:19,036
He's working miracles with them.
281
00:12:19,072 --> 00:12:21,372
Kotter the miracle worker!
282
00:12:21,407 --> 00:12:24,775
Maybe you can cure
My bunions, huh?
283
00:12:24,811 --> 00:12:25,988
Look, I gotta go to school, pop.
284
00:12:26,012 --> 00:12:27,144
I'll see you later.
285
00:12:27,180 --> 00:12:29,680
All right, get
Dressed and we'll go.
286
00:12:32,752 --> 00:12:34,452
"We"?
287
00:12:34,487 --> 00:12:38,689
Well, I wanna see, uh, some
Of these miracles for myself.
288
00:12:38,724 --> 00:12:40,002
I'm sorry, pop, they don't allow
289
00:12:40,026 --> 00:12:40,992
Guests in school.
290
00:12:41,027 --> 00:12:42,738
Listen, don't argue with me.
291
00:12:42,762 --> 00:12:44,996
Where are the shirts? In here?
292
00:12:45,031 --> 00:12:46,597
Yeah.
293
00:12:46,632 --> 00:12:50,168
Oh, there's a nice shirt!
294
00:12:50,203 --> 00:12:54,238
And here's a nice tie.
295
00:12:54,274 --> 00:12:55,473
Pop!
296
00:12:55,508 --> 00:12:56,685
I can't wear that, look at that!
297
00:12:56,709 --> 00:12:57,675
That clashes!
298
00:12:57,710 --> 00:12:59,978
Don't tell me what clashes!
299
00:13:00,013 --> 00:13:04,715
Who do you think made
This little combination?
300
00:13:04,750 --> 00:13:06,150
Picasso.
301
00:13:06,186 --> 00:13:10,254
Put it on.
302
00:13:10,290 --> 00:13:13,691
Julie, am I crazy or am I
Gonna lose this argument?
303
00:13:13,726 --> 00:13:15,460
Both.
304
00:13:19,299 --> 00:13:21,010
Gee, charlie, I never had
305
00:13:21,034 --> 00:13:23,067
A coconut paperweight before.
306
00:13:23,103 --> 00:13:24,613
You got it below cost, too.
307
00:13:24,637 --> 00:13:26,315
I didn't make a dime on it.
308
00:13:26,339 --> 00:13:30,007
Those things don't
Grow on trees, you know?
309
00:13:30,042 --> 00:13:32,243
Well, charlie,
You still have time
310
00:13:32,278 --> 00:13:37,515
To back out or take
Some raw meat in with you.
311
00:13:37,550 --> 00:13:39,316
Mikey, it's all right.
312
00:13:39,352 --> 00:13:40,596
I just wanna see
What my son does
313
00:13:40,620 --> 00:13:42,319
For a living.
314
00:13:42,355 --> 00:13:44,822
Well, when you find
Out, let me know.
315
00:13:47,293 --> 00:13:49,060
He hasn't changed.
316
00:13:49,095 --> 00:13:51,929
No, but we're still hoping.
317
00:13:51,964 --> 00:13:54,165
Listen, pop, I want
You to promise me
318
00:13:54,200 --> 00:13:55,911
When we go in there you're
Gonna behave yourself.
319
00:13:55,935 --> 00:13:57,201
Don't worry.
320
00:13:57,237 --> 00:13:58,969
I'll sit down.
321
00:13:59,004 --> 00:14:01,405
I just wanna watch you
Work a quick miracle or two
322
00:14:01,441 --> 00:14:03,741
With those sweat hogs in there.
323
00:14:03,776 --> 00:14:05,109
They're nice kids.
324
00:14:05,144 --> 00:14:09,346
No strings, no mirrors!
325
00:14:09,381 --> 00:14:13,150
Come to me sesame!
326
00:14:13,185 --> 00:14:16,320
Come to me sesame!
327
00:14:16,355 --> 00:14:18,489
Come to me... Stop!
328
00:14:18,525 --> 00:14:19,957
Stop!
329
00:14:26,466 --> 00:14:28,399
Will you cut this out?
330
00:14:32,271 --> 00:14:35,873
What?
331
00:14:35,909 --> 00:14:37,375
Some miracle!
332
00:14:37,410 --> 00:14:39,444
How you got these
Hyenas in blue jeans
333
00:14:39,479 --> 00:14:42,313
I'll never know!
334
00:14:42,348 --> 00:14:43,859
Go ahead, sit down
All of you, go ahead.
335
00:14:43,883 --> 00:14:45,394
- yeah, right.
- sit down, little one.
336
00:14:45,418 --> 00:14:47,718
All right.
337
00:14:47,753 --> 00:14:49,254
Hey, who is this guy?
338
00:14:49,289 --> 00:14:50,499
Without this guy I wouldn't be
339
00:14:50,523 --> 00:14:51,956
In school today.
340
00:14:51,991 --> 00:14:54,158
Who are you, the bus driver?
341
00:15:03,335 --> 00:15:05,803
I'm his son.
342
00:15:05,838 --> 00:15:09,406
You give me one more hint.
343
00:15:09,442 --> 00:15:11,642
He's married to my mother.
344
00:15:11,677 --> 00:15:15,312
All right, I almost got
It, just one more hint.
345
00:15:15,347 --> 00:15:16,980
He's my father!
346
00:15:17,017 --> 00:15:18,160
Oh, I was gonna say that!
347
00:15:18,184 --> 00:15:19,350
I swear!
348
00:15:19,386 --> 00:15:23,154
I was gonna say father,
I was gonna say uncle.
349
00:15:23,189 --> 00:15:26,857
Ohh, you must be the iceberg!
350
00:15:31,030 --> 00:15:33,964
How do?
351
00:15:33,999 --> 00:15:36,400
How come you hit the titanic
352
00:15:36,436 --> 00:15:39,770
In your sports shirt?
353
00:15:39,805 --> 00:15:41,772
Sports shirt on the iceberg!
354
00:15:41,807 --> 00:15:43,740
Sports shirt on the iceberg!
355
00:15:43,776 --> 00:15:45,776
Sports shirt on the iceberg!
356
00:15:45,811 --> 00:15:46,855
Sports shirt on the iceberg!
357
00:15:46,879 --> 00:15:48,579
Will you cut it out!
358
00:15:48,614 --> 00:15:51,315
Gabe, this is worse
Than I thought!
359
00:15:51,351 --> 00:15:55,619
Even ripley
Wouldn't believe this.
360
00:15:55,655 --> 00:15:58,556
Well, mr. Kotter sr.
361
00:15:58,591 --> 00:16:02,159
I just got one
Thing to say to you.
362
00:16:02,194 --> 00:16:04,261
Hi there.
363
00:16:07,867 --> 00:16:09,066
Sit down, freddie.
364
00:16:09,101 --> 00:16:12,036
Pop, why don't you
Take a seat, go ahead.
365
00:16:12,071 --> 00:16:14,872
Charlie, about this
Coconut paperweight.
366
00:16:14,907 --> 00:16:18,376
It seems to have sprung a leak.
367
00:16:18,411 --> 00:16:21,778
It's dripping milk all over
My attendance records.
368
00:16:21,814 --> 00:16:24,415
Don't worry, I'll
Bring you a new one
369
00:16:24,451 --> 00:16:26,483
This afternoon to your office.
370
00:16:26,519 --> 00:16:28,919
You see, kotter,
There's a person.
371
00:16:28,954 --> 00:16:32,223
I guess it's too late for
You to take after him, huh?
372
00:16:32,258 --> 00:16:33,369
By the way, charlie,
Has he made a fool
373
00:16:33,393 --> 00:16:35,326
Of himself yet?
374
00:16:35,361 --> 00:16:37,561
We just got here.
375
00:16:37,596 --> 00:16:38,729
Don't worry.
376
00:16:38,764 --> 00:16:40,208
Just give him a little time.
377
00:16:43,936 --> 00:16:45,547
Pop, go ahead, take a seat.
378
00:16:45,571 --> 00:16:48,906
Here you go, best
Seat in the house.
379
00:16:48,941 --> 00:16:50,240
Okay.
380
00:16:50,276 --> 00:16:54,478
Yesterday I asked you to
Read about the depression.
381
00:16:54,514 --> 00:16:57,815
Now, who can tell
Me when it began?
382
00:16:57,850 --> 00:16:58,850
Horshack.
383
00:16:58,885 --> 00:17:01,251
Oh, boy, I remember!
384
00:17:01,287 --> 00:17:04,588
- in 1929...
- pop! Pop!
385
00:17:04,624 --> 00:17:07,291
You're supposed to
Be here to observe.
386
00:17:07,326 --> 00:17:08,692
Excuse me!
387
00:17:08,727 --> 00:17:11,461
I'll make myself
The invisible man.
388
00:17:11,497 --> 00:17:12,630
Okay, good.
389
00:17:12,665 --> 00:17:15,499
Now, my father's
Right, it did start in '29.
390
00:17:15,534 --> 00:17:16,834
Now, what was it like?
391
00:17:16,869 --> 00:17:17,835
Washington?
392
00:17:17,870 --> 00:17:20,404
It was terrible!
393
00:17:20,440 --> 00:17:22,540
People were jumping
Out of windows.
394
00:17:22,575 --> 00:17:25,609
It was raining
Cats and feldman's.
395
00:17:25,644 --> 00:17:28,579
Hey, how do you know
That mr. Kotter the first?
396
00:17:28,614 --> 00:17:29,580
Are you kidding?
397
00:17:29,616 --> 00:17:30,881
I was there!
398
00:17:30,917 --> 00:17:33,483
My father did not come
Here to talk about his life.
399
00:17:33,519 --> 00:17:34,696
He doesn't wanna tell you...
400
00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:38,989
1929, I worked for my father
401
00:17:39,024 --> 00:17:42,593
In his 5 and 10 on avenue l.
402
00:17:42,628 --> 00:17:45,796
Now, those were the days,
There were no muggings,
403
00:17:45,831 --> 00:17:46,975
There were no massage parlors,
404
00:17:46,999 --> 00:17:50,434
There was no disco duck.
405
00:17:50,470 --> 00:17:52,069
Pop, pop, look.
406
00:17:52,104 --> 00:17:54,605
Can I have my class back?
407
00:17:54,640 --> 00:17:57,441
You wanna teach 'em
About the great depression?
408
00:17:57,476 --> 00:18:00,711
I'll tell them stories
About the great depression.
409
00:18:00,747 --> 00:18:06,150
Boy, two generations
Of dumb stories.
410
00:18:06,185 --> 00:18:09,253
Well, I'm sorry, excuse
Me for breathing.
411
00:18:09,288 --> 00:18:12,623
I just try to give you people
Some first-hand knowledge.
412
00:18:12,658 --> 00:18:14,191
Gabe!
413
00:18:14,226 --> 00:18:15,559
Go on and teach 'em.
414
00:18:15,595 --> 00:18:17,828
This I wanna see.
415
00:18:21,667 --> 00:18:22,811
Good evening
Mr. And mrs. America
416
00:18:22,835 --> 00:18:24,045
And all the ships at sea.
417
00:18:24,069 --> 00:18:26,637
The time is 19:29 and I'm broke.
418
00:18:26,672 --> 00:18:29,206
Why? The market just crashed.
419
00:18:29,242 --> 00:18:31,508
We take you now
To the stock market.
420
00:18:31,543 --> 00:18:34,745
Hello everybody,
I'm seymour feldman.
421
00:18:34,780 --> 00:18:37,714
I'm one of the people that
Jumped out the window!
422
00:18:37,750 --> 00:18:39,016
You wanna know why?
423
00:18:39,051 --> 00:18:41,185
'cause the stock
Market is all crazy!
424
00:18:41,220 --> 00:18:43,220
People are buying
Stocks on 10% margin.
425
00:18:43,256 --> 00:18:45,989
You put down 10 cents they
Get a dollar's worth of stock!
426
00:18:46,025 --> 00:18:47,669
I'm telling you,
It's not kosher!
427
00:18:47,693 --> 00:18:49,638
Thank you very much,
Seymour feldman.
428
00:18:49,662 --> 00:18:52,296
We take you now to iowa.
429
00:18:52,331 --> 00:18:55,432
My name is eugene hasey.
430
00:18:55,468 --> 00:18:57,901
I'm a farmer, and I work
Hard for my money.
431
00:18:57,936 --> 00:18:59,314
But I don't share in the wealth,
432
00:18:59,338 --> 00:19:00,915
Neither did the
Unskilled laborers.
433
00:19:00,939 --> 00:19:01,983
I tell you, it's not right!
434
00:19:02,007 --> 00:19:04,241
Everybody should
Share in the wealth!
435
00:19:04,277 --> 00:19:05,242
Thank you very much.
436
00:19:05,278 --> 00:19:06,455
And now we take
You to the president
437
00:19:06,479 --> 00:19:09,913
Of the united states,
Mr. Herbert hoover.
438
00:19:09,948 --> 00:19:14,351
I'm herbert hoover,
President of the united states.
439
00:19:14,387 --> 00:19:19,356
I also make vacuum cleaners.
440
00:19:19,392 --> 00:19:21,170
Now, we're making
Too much product.
441
00:19:21,194 --> 00:19:22,937
That's right, we're
Overproducing!
442
00:19:22,961 --> 00:19:24,873
Door knobs, you got
Too many door knobs.
443
00:19:24,897 --> 00:19:27,164
Not enough doors to put them on!
444
00:19:27,199 --> 00:19:28,477
I know what you're
Gonna say, say,
445
00:19:28,501 --> 00:19:30,111
"Why don't we sell them
To the foreign countries?"
446
00:19:30,135 --> 00:19:31,301
Well, we can't!
447
00:19:31,337 --> 00:19:32,414
Tariffs are too high
448
00:19:32,438 --> 00:19:34,672
And they don't wanna buy 'em!
449
00:19:34,707 --> 00:19:38,843
♪ once I built a
Railroad now it's done ♪
450
00:19:38,878 --> 00:19:40,322
♪ wah wah wah wah wah ♪
451
00:19:40,346 --> 00:19:42,212
And that's the way it was 1929,
452
00:19:42,248 --> 00:19:43,358
This is walter winchell.
453
00:19:43,382 --> 00:19:44,481
Goodnight!
454
00:19:49,155 --> 00:19:51,722
What was that? A floor show?
455
00:19:51,757 --> 00:19:53,691
Washington.
456
00:19:53,726 --> 00:19:55,036
What caused the
Stock market crash?
457
00:19:55,060 --> 00:19:58,329
Uh, uh, 'cause them
Turkeys was putting down
458
00:19:58,364 --> 00:19:59,874
10 cents on the dollar
For all the stocks
459
00:19:59,898 --> 00:20:00,864
That they was buying.
460
00:20:00,899 --> 00:20:02,133
Right.
461
00:20:02,168 --> 00:20:03,778
Epstein, why were the
Farmers and the unskilled
462
00:20:03,802 --> 00:20:05,036
Laborers mad?
463
00:20:05,071 --> 00:20:06,215
Well, they were bumped
Out 'cause they weren't
464
00:20:06,239 --> 00:20:07,316
Getting their
Share of the profits.
465
00:20:07,340 --> 00:20:09,373
I don't blame 'em.
466
00:20:09,409 --> 00:20:11,675
Right, horshack, what
About over production?
467
00:20:11,711 --> 00:20:14,111
Oh, oh, oh, oh!
468
00:20:14,146 --> 00:20:17,715
Because everybody
Was overproducing...
469
00:20:17,750 --> 00:20:20,751
Door knobs.
470
00:20:20,787 --> 00:20:22,853
Barbarino, why didn't
The other countries
471
00:20:22,888 --> 00:20:24,254
Buy our products?
472
00:20:24,289 --> 00:20:27,057
What products?
473
00:20:27,092 --> 00:20:28,370
Come on, vinnie, why
Couldn't we sell them to
474
00:20:28,394 --> 00:20:29,593
The foreign countries?
475
00:20:29,628 --> 00:20:30,839
I don't know,
Something about taxes,
476
00:20:30,863 --> 00:20:32,529
Tariff, whatever.
477
00:20:32,565 --> 00:20:33,731
I've seen enough.
478
00:20:33,766 --> 00:20:36,367
Gabe, outside.
479
00:20:36,402 --> 00:20:40,638
Oh, if you're ever
In fort lauderdale
480
00:20:40,673 --> 00:20:41,839
And you pass my house...
481
00:20:41,874 --> 00:20:47,345
- yeah?
- keep going.
482
00:20:47,380 --> 00:20:50,648
All right, guys, I'm
Gonna be out for a minute.
483
00:20:50,683 --> 00:20:53,584
No camp fires.
484
00:20:57,323 --> 00:21:00,157
So, this is what you do?
485
00:21:00,192 --> 00:21:01,436
This is what I do, pop.
486
00:21:01,460 --> 00:21:02,626
It's very interesting.
487
00:21:02,661 --> 00:21:05,329
There were accents
And impressions...
488
00:21:05,365 --> 00:21:06,575
What do you do for the summer?
489
00:21:06,599 --> 00:21:09,699
Take this show on the road?
490
00:21:09,735 --> 00:21:11,902
I suppose you're
Waiting for me to say
491
00:21:11,937 --> 00:21:14,672
That it's more important
To help these kids
492
00:21:14,707 --> 00:21:16,318
Than to come down
To fort lauderdale
493
00:21:16,342 --> 00:21:18,208
And help me?
494
00:21:18,244 --> 00:21:20,177
That's what I'd like you to say.
495
00:21:20,212 --> 00:21:22,613
Pop, it's not easy
To teach these kids.
496
00:21:22,648 --> 00:21:24,548
You know that.
497
00:21:24,584 --> 00:21:26,362
But you can't compliment me.
498
00:21:26,386 --> 00:21:28,586
You never could.
499
00:21:28,621 --> 00:21:30,098
Ah, what are you talking about?
500
00:21:30,122 --> 00:21:33,791
Pop, I'm 30 years old.
501
00:21:33,826 --> 00:21:36,727
Tell me you're proud of me.
502
00:21:36,762 --> 00:21:38,796
You should hear
Me talk about you
503
00:21:38,831 --> 00:21:40,442
To my friends in florida.
504
00:21:40,466 --> 00:21:42,466
They're sick of
Hearing about you!
505
00:21:42,501 --> 00:21:45,469
But what are we
Talking out here for?
506
00:21:45,504 --> 00:21:50,674
Your sweat hogs
Are waiting for you.
507
00:21:50,710 --> 00:21:51,875
Okay, pop.
508
00:21:51,911 --> 00:21:54,211
I'll see you for dinner.
509
00:22:00,352 --> 00:22:04,421
I'm proud of you, my son.
510
00:22:04,457 --> 00:22:05,989
I heard you.
511
00:22:12,398 --> 00:22:16,300
My son the eavesdropper.
512
00:22:16,335 --> 00:22:18,180
I'll see you at dinner, son.
513
00:22:18,204 --> 00:22:24,074
♪
514
00:22:28,914 --> 00:22:31,081
Julie dear, did you
Ever hear about
515
00:22:31,117 --> 00:22:33,250
What happened to my
Brother saul kotter?
516
00:22:33,285 --> 00:22:35,619
No, charlie, why don't
You tell me about it.
517
00:22:35,654 --> 00:22:38,522
Well, one day saul was
Walking across the street
518
00:22:38,558 --> 00:22:41,157
And got hit by a diesel truck.
519
00:22:41,193 --> 00:22:42,793
How awful.
520
00:22:42,829 --> 00:22:44,628
It certainly was.
521
00:22:44,664 --> 00:22:46,775
And a policeman ran up
And he took off his jacket
522
00:22:46,799 --> 00:22:48,377
And put it under saul's head,
523
00:22:48,401 --> 00:22:49,733
And he loosens his tie.
524
00:22:49,768 --> 00:22:52,403
And the policeman says,
"Are you comfortable?"
525
00:22:52,438 --> 00:22:56,139
And saul looks up and
Says, "I make a good living."
526
00:23:00,479 --> 00:23:02,213
Ah, how're you doing?
527
00:23:02,248 --> 00:23:04,749
- hello gabe.
- hi honey.
528
00:23:04,784 --> 00:23:06,428
Well, have a nice day today?
529
00:23:06,452 --> 00:23:07,785
Yup, how was your day?
530
00:23:07,820 --> 00:23:09,386
Oh, pretty good.
531
00:23:09,421 --> 00:23:12,156
- julie!
- what?
532
00:23:12,191 --> 00:23:13,969
Did I ever tell you
About my uncle saul?
533
00:23:13,993 --> 00:23:19,864
♪
534
00:23:21,066 --> 00:23:26,937
♪
535
00:23:29,008 --> 00:23:31,675
♪ welcome back ♪
536
00:23:31,710 --> 00:23:35,546
♪ your dreams were
Your ticket out ♪
537
00:23:35,581 --> 00:23:37,781
♪ welcome back ♪
538
00:23:37,816 --> 00:23:42,486
♪ to that same old place
That you laughed about ♪
539
00:23:42,522 --> 00:23:44,754
♪ well the names
Have all changed
540
00:23:44,790 --> 00:23:46,824
Since you hung around ♪
541
00:23:46,859 --> 00:23:49,092
♪ but those dreams have remained
542
00:23:49,128 --> 00:23:51,328
And they've turned around ♪
543
00:23:51,363 --> 00:23:53,430
♪ who'd have thought
They'd lead you ♪
544
00:23:53,465 --> 00:23:55,277
♪ who'd have thought
They'd lead you ♪
545
00:23:55,301 --> 00:23:57,334
♪ back here where we need ya ♪
546
00:23:57,369 --> 00:23:59,503
♪ back here where we need ya ♪
547
00:23:59,538 --> 00:24:01,772
♪ yeah we tease him a lot
548
00:24:01,807 --> 00:24:03,807
'cause we got him on the spot ♪
549
00:24:03,842 --> 00:24:05,943
♪ welcome back ♪
550
00:24:05,978 --> 00:24:10,313
♪ welcome back, welcome
Back, welcome back ♪
551
00:24:10,348 --> 00:24:12,515
♪ welcome back, welcome back ♪
552
00:24:12,551 --> 00:24:14,417
♪ welcome back ♪♪
37780
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