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1
00:00:35,734 --> 00:00:37,635
Hey.
Hey, babe.
2
00:00:40,288 --> 00:00:42,723
Ugh. I gotta learn to put
a few more minutes
3
00:00:42,791 --> 00:00:45,559
between toothbrushing
and orange juice.
4
00:00:45,627 --> 00:00:48,662
Now, don't forget, we have that
show at the art gallery tonight.
5
00:00:48,730 --> 00:00:50,097
Oh, God.
6
00:00:50,164 --> 00:00:51,665
Come on, you can keep
yourself busy
7
00:00:51,817 --> 00:00:53,450
by looking for paintings
with boobies.
8
00:00:53,518 --> 00:00:55,678
Oh, yeah, like boobies in
paintings are a real turn-on.
9
00:00:55,703 --> 00:00:58,605
They got like one boobie here, a
boobie on her head... it's crazy.
10
00:00:58,673 --> 00:01:00,207
All right, look,
here's the address,
11
00:01:00,275 --> 00:01:02,643
go straight from work,
the gallery's in soho.
12
00:01:02,710 --> 00:01:05,045
It's in an old
meat-packing warehouse.
13
00:01:05,113 --> 00:01:08,583
OK, so they took out beef
and moved in art.
14
00:01:09,918 --> 00:01:11,986
I have nothing more
to say to you.
15
00:01:25,551 --> 00:01:28,285
God, this is brutal.
16
00:01:28,353 --> 00:01:30,104
I can't believe Carrie's
making me do this.
17
00:01:30,172 --> 00:01:31,888
Hey, thanks for coming
with me, man.
18
00:01:31,923 --> 00:01:34,308
Thanks for rescuing me from
Kelly's American Idol party.
19
00:01:34,376 --> 00:01:37,311
Man, Denise
would've loved this.
20
00:01:37,379 --> 00:01:40,747
This is the first gallery
opening I've been to since...
21
00:01:40,815 --> 00:01:42,082
Since she dumped you?
22
00:01:42,150 --> 00:01:43,984
She didn't dump me, OK?
23
00:01:44,052 --> 00:01:47,355
We parted at her request.
24
00:01:47,422 --> 00:01:50,490
Why don't you just chill
out and get some wine?
25
00:01:52,027 --> 00:01:53,794
Where the hell is Carrie?
26
00:01:53,862 --> 00:01:56,030
What's the matter?
27
00:01:56,097 --> 00:01:58,632
Nothing. I just got
a little museum head.
28
00:02:00,735 --> 00:02:02,720
Oh, uh, go ahead, take it.
29
00:02:02,788 --> 00:02:03,921
No, no. Go ahead.
30
00:02:03,989 --> 00:02:06,323
I heard it's a zinfandel,
so no big loss.
31
00:02:06,391 --> 00:02:08,826
Well, according to
my wine enthusiasts' club,
32
00:02:08,894 --> 00:02:10,594
Zinfandel is the new Merlot.
33
00:02:10,662 --> 00:02:11,542
You're kidding, right?
34
00:02:11,567 --> 00:02:13,952
What's next? We start
chilling chiantis?
35
00:02:17,469 --> 00:02:19,237
Oh, my God, no.
36
00:02:19,304 --> 00:02:20,471
What?
37
00:02:20,538 --> 00:02:21,822
See that girl over there?
38
00:02:21,890 --> 00:02:23,991
That's Trish Flintoff.
39
00:02:24,059 --> 00:02:25,299
I dated her, like,
10 years ago.
40
00:02:25,326 --> 00:02:26,594
Yeah, and what happened?
41
00:02:26,661 --> 00:02:29,429
Oh, the way I ended things, I was--
42
00:02:34,419 --> 00:02:36,899
Guy, take it easy, man. You've
been married for, like, 8 years.
43
00:02:36,968 --> 00:02:38,928
I know, you know, but I
cannot be seen by her, OK?
44
00:02:38,970 --> 00:02:42,109
She's on my "top 3 most most
awkward people to run into" list.
45
00:02:42,176 --> 00:02:45,278
Right after this friend of my
dad's, who taught me to wrestle.
46
00:02:49,818 --> 00:02:51,518
Sorry about that, guys.
47
00:02:51,586 --> 00:02:53,520
I just got asked out
on a date.
48
00:02:53,588 --> 00:02:55,389
Good for you, man.
Where is she?
49
00:02:55,456 --> 00:02:57,391
Uh, it's that guy over there.
By the way,
50
00:02:57,458 --> 00:03:02,329
if you like sheep's milk,
do not miss the cheese table.
51
00:03:03,381 --> 00:03:06,050
OK, it's not what you think,
all right?
52
00:03:06,117 --> 00:03:07,477
After this whole thing
with Denise,
53
00:03:07,502 --> 00:03:09,886
it's nice to have someone
who's into me again.
54
00:03:09,955 --> 00:03:11,488
What's wrong with that?
55
00:03:11,556 --> 00:03:13,223
Well, I could think
of 2 things,
56
00:03:13,291 --> 00:03:15,258
and they rhyme
with schmesticles.
57
00:03:17,412 --> 00:03:20,547
Calm down.
It's just dinner and a movie.
58
00:03:20,615 --> 00:03:21,882
Wait. You said yes?
59
00:03:21,950 --> 00:03:24,485
Yeah. He's a nice guy.
60
00:03:24,553 --> 00:03:27,254
We have a lot in common,
and I gotta eat.
61
00:03:28,823 --> 00:03:31,408
What's your end game here?
62
00:03:31,476 --> 00:03:34,428
We go out, he makes me
feel desirable again,
63
00:03:34,496 --> 00:03:36,030
and then when he
makes his move, I go,
64
00:03:36,098 --> 00:03:39,266
"ooh, sorry, buddy.
I'm sweet on ladykind...
65
00:03:39,334 --> 00:03:41,235
But I'm very touched."
66
00:03:41,303 --> 00:03:42,870
I'm sure you will be.
67
00:03:42,938 --> 00:03:45,939
I don't know why I
tell you guys anything.
68
00:03:46,007 --> 00:03:48,542
Oh, good. There's Carrie. Let's go.
69
00:03:48,610 --> 00:03:49,393
OK.
70
00:03:51,012 --> 00:03:54,448
Oh, Carrie, too close
to she who hates me.
71
00:03:55,684 --> 00:03:56,784
My God, they touched!
72
00:03:56,851 --> 00:03:58,886
They touched!
They're talking!
73
00:03:58,954 --> 00:04:00,554
Do something.
Create a distraction.
74
00:04:00,621 --> 00:04:01,888
What do you want me to do?
75
00:04:01,957 --> 00:04:03,557
I don't know.
Moonwalk.
76
00:04:05,193 --> 00:04:07,661
Oh, she likes her purse.
Get the hell out of there.
77
00:04:07,729 --> 00:04:09,696
Wow, they're really
hitting it off.
78
00:04:09,764 --> 00:04:11,215
Stop it.
Stop talking.
79
00:04:11,283 --> 00:04:13,050
Stop talking.
80
00:04:13,117 --> 00:04:15,352
Oh, no.
They're coming over here.
81
00:04:15,420 --> 00:04:16,888
Hell. I'm in hell.
82
00:04:18,223 --> 00:04:20,040
Honey, hi.
83
00:04:20,108 --> 00:04:23,243
I want you to meet somebody.
Trish, this is my husband Doug.
84
00:04:23,312 --> 00:04:24,445
Doug, this is Trish.
85
00:04:26,481 --> 00:04:27,764
Hi, Doug.
86
00:04:28,983 --> 00:04:30,918
I owe you a phone call.
87
00:04:34,323 --> 00:04:36,507
I'm just saying, do you
have to have lunch with her?
88
00:04:36,575 --> 00:04:38,192
Doug, you went out with her
10 years ago
89
00:04:38,260 --> 00:04:40,328
and we hit it off
and she works for Saks
90
00:04:40,395 --> 00:04:43,163
and she's gonna take me to the
friends and family sale next week.
91
00:04:43,231 --> 00:04:44,965
Look, I am begging you
to let this go.
92
00:04:45,033 --> 00:04:46,353
Doug, could you just
explain to me
93
00:04:46,418 --> 00:04:48,085
what happened that
was so terrible
94
00:04:48,153 --> 00:04:49,819
that I can't even have
a meal with her?
95
00:04:49,887 --> 00:04:53,340
I- I'll tell you, but I
just want you to remember
96
00:04:53,408 --> 00:04:55,368
I'm still the same ol' Doug
who can make you laugh
97
00:04:55,393 --> 00:04:56,743
with only his belly button.
98
00:04:56,811 --> 00:04:58,612
Would you just tell me
what happened?
99
00:04:58,680 --> 00:05:00,848
Well, we went out
a couple times
100
00:05:00,916 --> 00:05:04,584
and I realized it wasn't
going anywhere long-term,
101
00:05:04,652 --> 00:05:08,338
so I may have bought
concert tickets
102
00:05:08,406 --> 00:05:10,046
for a tour that was
6 months in the future
103
00:05:10,075 --> 00:05:11,542
to make her think
I was serious
104
00:05:11,609 --> 00:05:14,811
so that she would sleep
with me.
105
00:05:14,879 --> 00:05:17,497
That's really jerky,
but--
106
00:05:17,565 --> 00:05:18,482
there's more.
107
00:05:20,301 --> 00:05:22,235
Ah, after we
finally hooked up,
108
00:05:22,303 --> 00:05:24,805
I may have climbed out
of her bedroom window
109
00:05:24,873 --> 00:05:30,410
with $20 that I may have taken
off her dresser for cab fare.
110
00:05:31,913 --> 00:05:33,633
OK, that's horrendously jerky
a little more.
111
00:05:33,681 --> 00:05:35,733
A little more.
112
00:05:35,800 --> 00:05:39,903
The next day, she called my answering
machine and left this crazy message.
113
00:05:39,971 --> 00:05:43,073
And she may have
caught me playing it
114
00:05:43,141 --> 00:05:46,844
for a bunch of my buddies
for our general amusement.
115
00:05:46,911 --> 00:05:49,080
Oh, my God, Doug.
You're a monster!
116
00:05:49,147 --> 00:05:52,016
What could've possibly
possessed you to act that way?
117
00:05:52,084 --> 00:05:53,617
Was she so awful?
118
00:05:53,685 --> 00:05:54,417
I don't know.
119
00:05:54,485 --> 00:05:57,438
She said the word
"literally" a lot.
120
00:05:57,505 --> 00:05:58,772
What?
121
00:05:58,840 --> 00:06:01,092
Yeah. It's literally the
best muffin I ever had.
122
00:06:01,159 --> 00:06:03,039
Oh, it's literally the
funniest show I ever saw.
123
00:06:03,064 --> 00:06:04,294
Aagg.
Yeah. Aagg.
124
00:06:04,362 --> 00:06:06,947
I know, what a bitch.
I wish she were dead.
125
00:06:07,014 --> 00:06:09,383
I'm not proud of what I
did, OK? I feel terrible.
126
00:06:09,451 --> 00:06:11,011
That's why I'm asking
you to drop this.
127
00:06:11,036 --> 00:06:12,203
No, I can't drop this, OK?
128
00:06:12,270 --> 00:06:15,572
On behalf of all women, I think
I owe it to her to have lunch,
129
00:06:15,640 --> 00:06:18,376
and we're having lobster
that you're paying for.
130
00:06:18,443 --> 00:06:21,712
Fine, but... whatever bad
stuff she says about me,
131
00:06:21,779 --> 00:06:23,214
just remember this.
132
00:06:42,067 --> 00:06:43,634
Ah, that was literally
133
00:06:43,701 --> 00:06:46,053
the most annoying waiter
I've ever had.
134
00:06:46,121 --> 00:06:48,088
Ohh.
He was all over us.
135
00:06:48,156 --> 00:06:50,076
Do you know he actually
tried to fill my iced tea
136
00:06:50,107 --> 00:06:52,042
as I was drinking it.
It's unprecedented.
137
00:06:52,109 --> 00:06:53,477
I know.
Crazy.
138
00:06:53,545 --> 00:06:55,265
All right. You know,
I'm gonna run upstairs.
139
00:06:55,290 --> 00:06:57,092
Could you throw this
in the fridge? Sure.
140
00:07:01,619 --> 00:07:03,254
Hey, Doug.
141
00:07:03,321 --> 00:07:05,256
I guess there's
a little outlet there.
142
00:07:05,323 --> 00:07:07,191
There's an outlet there.
Hey.
143
00:07:07,259 --> 00:07:10,194
So how was lunch? A little
midday lady chow, huh?
144
00:07:10,262 --> 00:07:12,096
It was great. We had
a wonderful time.
145
00:07:12,163 --> 00:07:14,781
Yeah, you know what I always
say about a good lunch.
146
00:07:14,849 --> 00:07:17,284
Just like a good dinner.
147
00:07:17,352 --> 00:07:19,786
Only earlier and...
148
00:07:19,854 --> 00:07:23,240
Often a sandwich,
as opposed to a platter.
149
00:07:23,308 --> 00:07:24,441
Doug, it's OK.
It's OK.
150
00:07:24,509 --> 00:07:26,543
I'm over what happened between us.
151
00:07:26,611 --> 00:07:28,212
You are?
Yeah.
152
00:07:28,280 --> 00:07:30,030
I'm not gonna say
it didn't hurt me,
153
00:07:30,097 --> 00:07:31,798
but, um, it was
a long time ago
154
00:07:31,866 --> 00:07:35,218
and I've lost the weight. The weight?
155
00:07:35,286 --> 00:07:38,305
Yeah. I put on about 100
pounds after you dumped me.
156
00:07:38,373 --> 00:07:40,023
All right. OK.
157
00:07:40,091 --> 00:07:41,851
I lost the weight.
I kicked the amphetamines,
158
00:07:41,876 --> 00:07:44,845
which, incidentally, I took to
lose the weight, and I've moved on.
159
00:07:44,913 --> 00:07:47,753
Hey, at least you had a fun time
eating your way up that 100 pounds.
160
00:07:49,150 --> 00:07:51,719
I've lost the use
of one kidney.
161
00:07:53,254 --> 00:07:54,205
Been there.
162
00:07:58,793 --> 00:08:04,964
Look, Trish, I, uh, I never officially
apologized to you. You know, I-I...
163
00:08:05,032 --> 00:08:07,197
I acted like a real jerk.
Especially about
164
00:08:07,210 --> 00:08:09,386
that whole answering
machine thing.
165
00:08:09,537 --> 00:08:12,639
It's, uh, it's fine. I
officially accept your apology.
166
00:08:12,707 --> 00:08:17,311
And, um, you did set me back
about a year or so dating-wise,
167
00:08:17,379 --> 00:08:21,648
but, hey, as long as I have
a baby by 45, I'm all right.
168
00:08:23,385 --> 00:08:24,634
And besides, Carrie's
a wonderful woman,
169
00:08:24,702 --> 00:08:26,503
so something very good
came out of this.
170
00:08:26,570 --> 00:08:27,821
That is good.
Yeah, it is.
171
00:08:27,889 --> 00:08:30,323
Hey, so did the leftovers
make it to the refrigerator,
172
00:08:30,391 --> 00:08:32,551
or did this one swallow
everything, including the foil?
173
00:08:32,561 --> 00:08:33,794
Oh, you're funny.
174
00:08:33,862 --> 00:08:34,744
No. They're OK
for now.
175
00:08:34,896 --> 00:08:36,196
I should probably take off.
176
00:08:36,264 --> 00:08:37,264
Oh, OK.
I'll walk you out.
177
00:08:37,398 --> 00:08:38,631
All right.
178
00:08:38,699 --> 00:08:40,584
So, we still on for
that Saks sale on Saturday?
179
00:08:40,652 --> 00:08:42,152
Oh, my God, yes, we are.
180
00:08:42,219 --> 00:08:43,320
OK, I'll call you.
181
00:08:43,388 --> 00:08:44,655
OK, bye-bye.
Bye.
182
00:08:44,722 --> 00:08:45,656
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
183
00:08:49,059 --> 00:08:50,944
Well, this is great.
You guys are friends,
184
00:08:51,012 --> 00:08:53,664
and I don't have to feel
guilty. It's all good.
185
00:08:53,731 --> 00:08:56,116
Oh, my God, I can't stand her.
186
00:08:58,102 --> 00:08:59,119
What?
187
00:08:59,187 --> 00:09:02,106
Doug, lunch was torture.
188
00:09:02,173 --> 00:09:04,941
I mean, you are right.
There is something about her--
189
00:09:05,010 --> 00:09:07,444
the needy thing,
the "literally" thing.
190
00:09:07,479 --> 00:09:11,115
When she ordered a souffle that
was gonna take a half hour at lunch,
191
00:09:11,182 --> 00:09:15,019
I almost drove a fork
through my hands.
192
00:09:15,086 --> 00:09:19,373
After the Saks sale is over,
I'm telling you, she's toast.
193
00:09:19,440 --> 00:09:22,576
You're just gonna use her to get
what you want and then throw her away?
194
00:09:22,644 --> 00:09:24,878
Yeah.
195
00:09:24,946 --> 00:09:26,296
You... can't do that,
Carrie.
196
00:09:26,364 --> 00:09:28,298
That's exactly what
I did with her!
197
00:09:28,366 --> 00:09:30,967
And you were right to do it.
She's unbearable.
198
00:09:31,036 --> 00:09:34,171
You should've stolen $80
from her dresser.
199
00:09:34,239 --> 00:09:35,489
I cannot be part
of this again.
200
00:09:35,556 --> 00:09:37,391
You can't dump her after Saks.
201
00:09:37,458 --> 00:09:41,495
Doug, she gets
a 40% employee discount
202
00:09:41,563 --> 00:09:44,164
on already
marked down items, OK?
203
00:09:44,231 --> 00:09:47,334
I haven't shopped in
3 months. This is Saks.
204
00:09:47,401 --> 00:09:49,503
There's a reason why
winona stole from there.
205
00:09:49,571 --> 00:09:51,037
Their stuff is gorgeous.
206
00:09:51,105 --> 00:09:53,006
This is so bad.
This is so bad.
207
00:09:53,074 --> 00:09:54,841
Carrie, look,
all right, look, OK.
208
00:09:54,909 --> 00:09:56,343
If you're gonna do it,
209
00:09:56,411 --> 00:09:58,778
you can't dump her the
same way I did, all right?
210
00:09:58,846 --> 00:10:00,013
You gotta let her down easy.
211
00:10:00,081 --> 00:10:02,015
You gotta see her a couple
times after the sale.
212
00:10:02,083 --> 00:10:03,350
You know, then you know what?
213
00:10:03,418 --> 00:10:05,018
You get busy, she gets busy,
214
00:10:05,086 --> 00:10:06,686
nobody has to get hurt.
215
00:10:06,754 --> 00:10:09,606
All right, how many times?
216
00:10:09,673 --> 00:10:12,025
5.
Absolutely no.
217
00:10:12,093 --> 00:10:13,610
All right, 3.
218
00:10:13,678 --> 00:10:18,031
OK, but I'm only seeing her,
literally, 3 times, Doug, OK?
219
00:10:18,099 --> 00:10:19,866
Oh, my God.
I caught it.
220
00:10:24,405 --> 00:10:28,192
OK, this one's $80 off.
221
00:10:28,259 --> 00:10:31,127
59 off. 30 off.
222
00:10:31,195 --> 00:10:32,712
Oh, yeah.
223
00:10:32,780 --> 00:10:34,647
105 off.
Ohh!
224
00:10:34,715 --> 00:10:38,201
For a total savings
of nearly $300.
225
00:10:39,187 --> 00:10:40,547
So where do you
wanna go for lunch?
226
00:10:40,605 --> 00:10:42,071
I could literally
eat anything.
227
00:10:42,139 --> 00:10:43,373
Actually, I gotta go.
228
00:10:50,031 --> 00:10:52,265
Oh, come on, get 'im,
get 'im, get 'im! Get 'im,
229
00:10:52,333 --> 00:10:53,734
yes!
Oh! It's a fumble.
230
00:10:53,801 --> 00:10:55,669
Fumble!
There you go!
231
00:10:55,737 --> 00:10:58,739
Do you guys think
I look good in blue?
232
00:11:00,008 --> 00:11:01,408
Excuse me?
233
00:11:01,475 --> 00:11:04,378
Specifically, that blue turtleneck
I have. You know the one.
234
00:11:04,445 --> 00:11:06,013
No. I really don't.
235
00:11:06,080 --> 00:11:07,981
But I'll tell you, in
terms of turtlenecks,
236
00:11:08,049 --> 00:11:10,484
you probably look enough
like a turtle already.
237
00:11:12,453 --> 00:11:15,355
Thanks. Thanks a lot. What's your
problem? Is it this guy again?
238
00:11:15,423 --> 00:11:17,373
Yes! We've been out
4 times,
239
00:11:17,442 --> 00:11:19,776
and he hasn't made
his move yet.
240
00:11:21,045 --> 00:11:22,846
This is way better
than the game.
241
00:11:22,914 --> 00:11:25,514
I mean, this is supposed to be
making me feel better about myself.
242
00:11:25,566 --> 00:11:28,268
And it's just making me feel
worse, so what's the point?
243
00:11:28,336 --> 00:11:31,455
Maybe he's just
playing hard to get.
244
00:11:32,741 --> 00:11:34,758
I hope so.
I don't know.
245
00:11:34,876 --> 00:11:37,844
I... oh, I gotta go.
He's picking me up at 8:00,
246
00:11:37,912 --> 00:11:39,513
and I gotta do something
with my hair.
247
00:11:40,581 --> 00:11:42,349
I should split, too.
248
00:11:42,417 --> 00:11:44,918
All right, I'll see you guys later.
249
00:11:44,985 --> 00:11:46,225
All right, man.
Have a good one.
250
00:11:53,744 --> 00:11:55,662
Oh, hi, Carrie.
It's Trish.
251
00:11:55,730 --> 00:11:58,298
Um, I don't know if you
got my other messages,
252
00:11:58,366 --> 00:12:00,567
I left, like, 4, but I
haven't talked to you
253
00:12:00,635 --> 00:12:03,237
in literally ages
since that Saks sale.
254
00:12:03,304 --> 00:12:06,640
I miss you. Um, anyway,
I hope we're still on
255
00:12:06,707 --> 00:12:08,308
for that Hugh Grant
movie tonight.
256
00:12:08,376 --> 00:12:10,310
I need my Carrie fix.
257
00:12:10,378 --> 00:12:11,818
So, I guess if I
don't hear from you,
258
00:12:11,880 --> 00:12:16,150
we should just meet at the fairway
at 9:00. OK, so, OK, OK, bye.
259
00:12:18,486 --> 00:12:19,136
Hey, honey.
260
00:12:19,204 --> 00:12:21,321
Hey. What are
you up to?
261
00:12:21,389 --> 00:12:23,156
Oh, I just stopped
at that falafel place.
262
00:12:23,224 --> 00:12:26,827
I don't know why I keep having
falafel. I kinda hate it.
263
00:12:26,895 --> 00:12:30,163
What do you got
planned for tonight?
264
00:12:30,231 --> 00:12:31,665
Nothing. Why?
265
00:12:31,732 --> 00:12:34,467
'Cause Trish just called. You're
supposed to meet her at the movies.
266
00:12:34,535 --> 00:12:36,255
You haven't called her
since Saks, have you?
267
00:12:36,320 --> 00:12:38,672
No. I-I've, um--
268
00:12:38,739 --> 00:12:40,174
you-you-you-you know what?
269
00:12:40,241 --> 00:12:43,510
We had a deal. You were
supposed to see her 3 more times.
270
00:12:43,577 --> 00:12:45,478
You want her to gain
that hundred pounds back?
271
00:12:45,546 --> 00:12:46,696
No.
Well, you know what?
272
00:12:46,764 --> 00:12:48,164
If you don't meet her
at the movies,
273
00:12:48,182 --> 00:12:50,117
she can gain 10 of them tonight on
popcorn and little ice cream balls.
274
00:12:50,184 --> 00:12:51,251
You're going.
275
00:12:51,319 --> 00:12:52,686
No. I'm not going
to the movies.
276
00:12:52,754 --> 00:12:54,588
Oh, yes, you are.
277
00:12:54,656 --> 00:12:56,122
Doug, listen to me.
278
00:12:56,190 --> 00:12:59,626
I am not going to the
movies tonight, OK?
279
00:12:59,694 --> 00:13:02,962
Life is too short to spend
listening to Trish Flintoff
280
00:13:03,030 --> 00:13:05,799
go on and on about how
she misses me so much
281
00:13:05,866 --> 00:13:08,335
when we only met last week.
282
00:13:08,403 --> 00:13:10,870
Now, I know you feel
guilty about her,
283
00:13:10,938 --> 00:13:14,407
but I feel nothing.
284
00:13:23,818 --> 00:13:25,318
Hey, trishy.
285
00:13:25,386 --> 00:13:27,520
Hey, Doug.
Where's Carrie?
286
00:13:27,588 --> 00:13:29,522
Oh, um, she couldn't make it.
287
00:13:29,590 --> 00:13:33,060
She got sick and
a family emergency.
288
00:13:33,127 --> 00:13:35,395
Sounds like she's
got a lot going on.
289
00:13:35,462 --> 00:13:37,463
Yeah. She-she felt bad
that she couldn't be here.
290
00:13:37,531 --> 00:13:39,199
Actually, she wanted
to say hi to you.
291
00:13:39,266 --> 00:13:40,200
Oh! Yay!
292
00:13:40,267 --> 00:13:41,467
Hold on a second.
293
00:13:41,535 --> 00:13:42,969
Here we go.
294
00:13:48,642 --> 00:13:49,810
Hello.
295
00:13:49,877 --> 00:13:53,080
Hey, sweetie. I'm at
the movies with Trish.
296
00:13:53,147 --> 00:13:55,082
What?
297
00:13:55,149 --> 00:13:57,818
I knew you weren't
going jogging.
298
00:13:57,885 --> 00:14:00,420
Yeah. Anyway, I was just
telling her how sorry you were
299
00:14:00,487 --> 00:14:03,287
that you couldn't be here tonight
and that you wanted to say hi to her.
300
00:14:03,324 --> 00:14:04,524
No, no, Doug.
Don't put her on.
301
00:14:04,592 --> 00:14:05,992
No, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no--
302
00:14:06,017 --> 00:14:07,427
hi!
Hi, Trish!
303
00:14:07,494 --> 00:14:11,832
Hi. I feel like I haven't talked
to you in literally forever.
304
00:14:11,899 --> 00:14:14,050
Uh-huh.
305
00:14:14,118 --> 00:14:16,219
Doug said you had
a family emergency.
306
00:14:16,287 --> 00:14:21,708
What? Oh, uh, yeah.
I'm OK. I'm OK.
307
00:14:21,776 --> 00:14:27,447
It's just hard when, you know,
your family has... an emergency.
308
00:14:27,514 --> 00:14:30,617
You know, but we're pulling
through. We're pulling through.
309
00:14:30,684 --> 00:14:31,884
Can I speak to Doug
real quick?
310
00:14:31,909 --> 00:14:32,953
Sure.
Thanks.
311
00:14:33,020 --> 00:14:34,220
OK. You take care of yourself.
312
00:14:34,245 --> 00:14:35,622
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye. Bye.
313
00:14:35,689 --> 00:14:38,358
Ahem. What's up?
314
00:14:38,425 --> 00:14:39,609
Literally forever?
315
00:14:39,677 --> 00:14:42,512
I mean, does she know
that's just not possible?
316
00:14:42,580 --> 00:14:46,216
What's that? You wanna invite her to
dinner at our house Saturday night?
317
00:14:46,283 --> 00:14:47,551
Oh!
No.
318
00:14:47,618 --> 00:14:49,953
That sounds like a great idea.
I'll ask her.
319
00:14:50,020 --> 00:14:51,100
Doug, you better stop this,
320
00:14:51,138 --> 00:14:53,073
or I swear I will kill you
in your sleep.
321
00:14:53,141 --> 00:14:55,942
7:00 sounds really good. OK. I'll
talk to you later, sweetie. Bye-bye.
322
00:14:56,010 --> 00:14:58,912
She invited you to our house
Saturday night for dinner.
323
00:14:58,980 --> 00:15:01,481
Ooh, Saturday night. I've
been bumped up to the "a" list.
324
00:15:01,548 --> 00:15:02,949
Yeah.
325
00:15:14,996 --> 00:15:17,097
It's, uh, chilly
in here, isn't it?
326
00:15:18,166 --> 00:15:19,099
A little.
327
00:15:19,167 --> 00:15:20,600
Brr. Ha ha.
328
00:15:20,668 --> 00:15:23,603
The, uh, seats are
real comfy though.
329
00:15:23,671 --> 00:15:25,772
You can just snuggle right in.
330
00:15:27,341 --> 00:15:29,109
Yeah, they're all right.
331
00:15:36,350 --> 00:15:37,617
What are you doing?
332
00:15:37,685 --> 00:15:39,920
What?
333
00:15:39,987 --> 00:15:41,747
I don't know what you
think is going on here,
334
00:15:41,772 --> 00:15:43,073
but I'm not gay.
335
00:15:43,140 --> 00:15:44,041
Well, neither am I.
336
00:15:45,526 --> 00:15:47,827
Then why did you try to
put your arm around me?
337
00:15:47,895 --> 00:15:50,463
My girlfriend dumped me.
It's a very confusing time.
338
00:15:52,133 --> 00:15:54,567
I'm sorry. I thought
we were just friends.
339
00:15:54,635 --> 00:15:57,304
Maybe it's better
if I just head out.
340
00:15:57,371 --> 00:15:59,572
Fine! Leave
like they all do.
341
00:16:11,986 --> 00:16:13,586
Wow, these are really good.
342
00:16:13,654 --> 00:16:14,921
Oh, thank you.
343
00:16:14,989 --> 00:16:16,256
Every time I get invited to
somebody's house for dinner,
344
00:16:16,324 --> 00:16:17,757
I gotta make empanadas.
345
00:16:17,825 --> 00:16:18,925
I learned how in Argentina.
346
00:16:18,993 --> 00:16:20,160
Have you ever been?
347
00:16:20,228 --> 00:16:21,161
No.
348
00:16:21,229 --> 00:16:24,648
Oh, you have to go.
It's so wonderful.
349
00:16:24,715 --> 00:16:26,817
Yeah, I don't really have a lot
of money to travel right now.
350
00:16:26,884 --> 00:16:28,884
Go on the Internet. They
have really cheap tickets.
351
00:16:28,886 --> 00:16:30,766
Yeah, I know, but it's
still kinda hard to get--
352
00:16:30,833 --> 00:16:31,883
yeah.
No, go to Argentina.
353
00:16:31,951 --> 00:16:34,107
OK. OK. OK.
354
00:16:35,342 --> 00:16:37,661
Hey, Car, how are we
doing on those drinks?
355
00:16:37,728 --> 00:16:39,846
They're coming!
356
00:16:39,914 --> 00:16:42,648
Eggrolls in the house.
Oh, and good news.
357
00:16:42,717 --> 00:16:44,217
Chef ming had the baby.
358
00:16:44,284 --> 00:16:45,985
Ha ha. Brian.
359
00:16:48,189 --> 00:16:49,956
Hol, what are you doing here?
360
00:16:50,024 --> 00:16:51,891
Carrie invited me over.
361
00:16:51,959 --> 00:16:53,392
Did she?
362
00:16:53,460 --> 00:16:56,062
Well, let me just
drop this off here.
363
00:16:58,132 --> 00:17:00,967
What the hell is going on? Are you
trying to palm Trish off on Holly?
364
00:17:01,035 --> 00:17:04,570
No. Holly dropped by, and I
invited her to stay for dinner.
365
00:17:04,638 --> 00:17:06,973
I like people, Doug.
366
00:17:07,041 --> 00:17:08,942
Carrie, I can't do this
anymore.
367
00:17:09,010 --> 00:17:10,944
Here's your 30 bucks back.
368
00:17:13,814 --> 00:17:15,314
You're paying her?
369
00:17:15,382 --> 00:17:17,316
I told you, Doug. I
couldn't do this, OK?
370
00:17:17,384 --> 00:17:18,752
Life is too short.
371
00:17:18,819 --> 00:17:21,487
I know. And now I think
I have to go to Argentina.
372
00:17:21,555 --> 00:17:23,256
All right, you know what?
373
00:17:23,323 --> 00:17:24,490
I'm just gonna end this, OK?
374
00:17:24,558 --> 00:17:26,559
I'm just gonna go out
there and tell Trish
375
00:17:26,627 --> 00:17:28,862
that she says
"literally" too much,
376
00:17:28,929 --> 00:17:31,898
and I'm gonna give this lovely
Chinese food as a parting gift.
377
00:17:31,966 --> 00:17:34,267
No. Wait, wait,
wait, wait a second.
378
00:17:34,335 --> 00:17:36,769
Look, I started
this whole thing.
379
00:17:36,837 --> 00:17:39,272
I should end it like a man.
380
00:17:39,340 --> 00:17:42,175
I owe her that much.
381
00:17:42,243 --> 00:17:44,277
OK. Holly, you wanna
see my new clothes?
382
00:17:44,345 --> 00:17:45,312
Sure.
OK.
383
00:17:47,498 --> 00:17:48,431
Hi.
384
00:17:48,499 --> 00:17:49,533
There you are.
385
00:17:49,600 --> 00:17:50,840
I thought you
literally got lost
386
00:17:50,868 --> 00:17:53,286
on your way back
from the kitchen.
387
00:17:53,353 --> 00:17:54,537
Ha ha ha ha.
388
00:17:54,605 --> 00:17:58,207
Ah, Trish, you...
389
00:17:58,275 --> 00:18:00,610
Are an incredible person.
390
00:18:00,678 --> 00:18:01,611
Thank you.
391
00:18:01,679 --> 00:18:02,746
You really are, you know.
392
00:18:02,813 --> 00:18:08,217
You're fun. You're a
great empanada maker.
393
00:18:09,854 --> 00:18:12,221
And you're a great friend...
394
00:18:12,289 --> 00:18:15,258
For someone who's not Carrie.
395
00:18:15,325 --> 00:18:17,894
What?
396
00:18:17,961 --> 00:18:20,730
Carrie doesn't really
think it's in the cards
397
00:18:20,798 --> 00:18:22,899
for you two to be friends.
398
00:18:22,966 --> 00:18:24,401
It's not you, you know.
399
00:18:24,468 --> 00:18:26,403
Sometimes the chemistry
is not right.
400
00:18:26,470 --> 00:18:30,239
And I think it would
probably be best
401
00:18:30,307 --> 00:18:35,244
if we all just kinda,
you know, moved on.
402
00:18:36,814 --> 00:18:39,115
Please don't start eating.
403
00:18:41,318 --> 00:18:45,688
Well, uh, that's actually
the most mature way
404
00:18:45,756 --> 00:18:49,726
anyone has ever handled
this kind of thing with me.
405
00:18:49,794 --> 00:18:51,044
Really?
406
00:18:51,111 --> 00:18:53,480
Yeah, um, I'm not happy.
407
00:18:53,547 --> 00:18:56,782
But I got a great friend
in Holly out of it, so...
408
00:18:56,850 --> 00:18:58,918
Well, there you go.
409
00:19:00,587 --> 00:19:02,255
I think I'm just
gonna take off.
410
00:19:02,323 --> 00:19:04,023
So, will you say good-bye
to them for me?
411
00:19:04,091 --> 00:19:05,225
Definitely, yeah.
412
00:19:05,292 --> 00:19:06,860
Thanks.
413
00:19:06,927 --> 00:19:09,087
I really appreciate your
honesty. It meant a lot to me.
414
00:19:09,096 --> 00:19:11,130
Oh, no problem.
My pleasure, you know.
415
00:19:11,198 --> 00:19:15,969
Life's a long road, and we
all stop for gas, you know.
416
00:19:21,708 --> 00:19:22,708
Is she gone?
417
00:19:22,776 --> 00:19:23,626
Yeah.
418
00:19:23,694 --> 00:19:25,478
Carrie, you can come down now.
419
00:19:27,547 --> 00:19:28,714
Is it done?
420
00:19:28,782 --> 00:19:30,383
Yeah, it's done.
421
00:19:30,450 --> 00:19:32,610
Oh, God, Doug, come on,
honey, look on the bright side.
422
00:19:32,635 --> 00:19:35,454
This way she'll be forced to
take a good hard look at herself
423
00:19:35,522 --> 00:19:38,057
and come up with
a better personality.
424
00:19:38,125 --> 00:19:40,659
OK, you know what?
Enough.
425
00:19:40,727 --> 00:19:41,794
She's a nice person.
426
00:19:41,862 --> 00:19:43,330
Hah. Seriously,
Doug, come on.
427
00:19:43,397 --> 00:19:45,832
She's a freak show.
Yeah. I have to agree.
428
00:19:45,899 --> 00:19:47,066
She's not.
429
00:19:47,134 --> 00:19:48,652
Seriously.
Really.
430
00:19:48,719 --> 00:19:51,154
Have you listened to the
messages she left me? Listen.
431
00:19:52,222 --> 00:19:54,157
Don't.
Yeah.
432
00:19:54,224 --> 00:19:55,825
So, I haven't heard
from you in a while.
433
00:19:55,893 --> 00:19:57,994
Did I do something
to annoy you?
434
00:19:58,062 --> 00:19:59,996
I was thinking perhaps
I hurt your feelings
435
00:20:00,064 --> 00:20:02,098
when I said I didn't
like step aerobics.
436
00:20:02,166 --> 00:20:05,068
Don't misunderstand me.
It is a good workout.
437
00:20:05,136 --> 00:20:06,435
What is she talking about?
438
00:20:06,503 --> 00:20:07,771
Listen.
And this one.
439
00:20:07,838 --> 00:20:10,573
Hey, Car.
Did you just call me?
440
00:20:10,641 --> 00:20:12,876
'Cause my phone rang and I
couldn't find the receiver.
441
00:20:12,943 --> 00:20:14,911
It was actually just
in my kitchen-oh.
442
00:20:14,979 --> 00:20:17,113
You have never seen
my apartment.
443
00:20:17,181 --> 00:20:18,514
You have to see my apartment.
444
00:20:18,582 --> 00:20:21,851
OK. Anyway, tag,
you're it. Call me.
445
00:20:23,087 --> 00:20:24,020
I mean, really.
446
00:20:24,088 --> 00:20:25,021
All right, all right.
447
00:20:27,091 --> 00:20:28,191
Thank you, Holly.
448
00:20:28,258 --> 00:20:29,938
She said literally.
I gotta be literally...
449
00:20:29,963 --> 00:20:32,865
Right. Sure. OK, I get
it. I know. She is a bit--
450
00:20:34,264 --> 00:20:37,867
I forgot my empanada dish.
451
00:20:53,066 --> 00:20:56,035
That's gonna be one big girl.
452
00:21:02,959 --> 00:21:05,261
Put on a life jacket.
453
00:21:10,401 --> 00:21:13,269
Excuse me.
Are those empanadas?
454
00:21:13,337 --> 00:21:14,870
Yeah.
455
00:21:14,938 --> 00:21:18,875
They are literally
my favorite food.
456
00:21:18,943 --> 00:21:20,193
I have a whole basket.
457
00:21:20,260 --> 00:21:23,029
Oh. Can I have one?
458
00:21:23,097 --> 00:21:24,830
No.
33866
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