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1
00:00:05,153 --> 00:00:07,955
Hey, do you know
where the scissors are?
2
00:00:11,393 --> 00:00:16,931
Doug, we have lived in
this house for 9 years, ok?
3
00:00:16,999 --> 00:00:20,300
The scissors have always
been in the same place,
4
00:00:20,368 --> 00:00:24,772
and yet you continue to
ask me where they are.
5
00:00:24,840 --> 00:00:29,694
Not to mention the spatula,
the pot holders, the pens.
6
00:00:29,762 --> 00:00:31,202
Well, I'll tell you
something, honey.
7
00:00:31,263 --> 00:00:35,115
I have been a tour guide in
my own kitchen long enough.
8
00:00:35,183 --> 00:00:37,985
Too many precious
moments have been wasted
9
00:00:38,053 --> 00:00:39,469
showing you where things are!
10
00:00:39,537 --> 00:00:41,906
Just learn! Learn!
11
00:00:41,973 --> 00:00:43,640
I mean, what if I died?
12
00:00:43,708 --> 00:00:45,609
How would you flip a pancake?
13
00:00:45,677 --> 00:00:48,645
How would you-- how would you
ever cut anything ever again?
14
00:00:48,713 --> 00:00:51,315
Would you
just sit here weeping
15
00:00:51,382 --> 00:00:54,651
and soiling yourself until
somebody came in to help you?
16
00:00:54,719 --> 00:00:56,653
No, you wouldn't.
You would...
17
00:00:56,721 --> 00:01:00,341
Remember where something is.
18
00:01:00,408 --> 00:01:02,376
Yeah. So come on,
honey. Please.
19
00:01:02,444 --> 00:01:03,544
Just this once.
20
00:01:03,612 --> 00:01:05,213
Find where the scissors are.
21
00:01:05,280 --> 00:01:07,681
Find 'em.
Go ahead, baby.
22
00:01:07,750 --> 00:01:09,082
Go get 'em.
23
00:01:09,150 --> 00:01:11,168
Go ahead.
24
00:01:21,029 --> 00:01:24,215
- I got 'em.
- You got 'em.
25
00:01:25,483 --> 00:01:27,617
You got 'em.
Now, was that so hard?
26
00:01:27,685 --> 00:01:28,870
- Not really, no.
- OK.
27
00:01:34,860 --> 00:01:37,127
What do you need now?
28
00:01:37,195 --> 00:01:40,030
Tape.
29
00:02:16,435 --> 00:02:18,419
Well, hey, major,
whatcha got there?
30
00:02:18,487 --> 00:02:21,139
I made you a Valentine,
aunt Carrie.
31
00:02:21,206 --> 00:02:23,574
Oh, that is so sweet...
32
00:02:23,642 --> 00:02:26,510
And out of my jury summons.
33
00:02:26,578 --> 00:02:29,847
OK. I will put it right here
34
00:02:29,915 --> 00:02:34,618
next to my snowflake
mortgage payment.
35
00:02:34,686 --> 00:02:36,053
What's that?
36
00:02:36,121 --> 00:02:37,888
This is coffee, baby.
37
00:02:37,956 --> 00:02:39,857
I want some.
Coffee! Coffee!
38
00:02:39,925 --> 00:02:41,726
Oh, no, no, no.
No, no, no, baby.
39
00:02:41,793 --> 00:02:43,293
No, no, no.
This is a grown-up drink,
40
00:02:43,361 --> 00:02:44,841
just like the big vodka
I'm gonna have
41
00:02:44,866 --> 00:02:47,501
after your parents
pick you up.
42
00:02:50,752 --> 00:02:54,455
Doug. He has
my lipstick again.
43
00:02:54,523 --> 00:02:56,206
I told you to hide those.
44
00:02:56,274 --> 00:02:59,944
I do, but he finds them.
45
00:03:00,012 --> 00:03:03,447
Hey, whatcha-whatcha
got there, Kirb?
46
00:03:03,515 --> 00:03:06,550
Apricot shimmer.
47
00:03:06,617 --> 00:03:08,669
OK.
48
00:03:08,736 --> 00:03:09,954
Do you think it's pretty?
49
00:03:10,022 --> 00:03:14,256
I think it's, uh, pretty great
as a missile on our battleship.
50
00:03:14,459 --> 00:03:15,379
Look at that. Fire one!
51
00:03:17,979 --> 00:03:19,897
Blood, guts, death.
52
00:03:19,965 --> 00:03:21,966
Man things.
53
00:03:23,318 --> 00:03:24,969
- Hey, y'all.
- Hey.
54
00:03:25,037 --> 00:03:26,270
Boys behave themselves?
55
00:03:26,337 --> 00:03:27,297
Oh, yeah.
They were fine.
56
00:03:27,339 --> 00:03:28,779
Bubblegum went right
into the carpet.
57
00:03:28,790 --> 00:03:30,974
Anyway, it's ok.
58
00:03:31,042 --> 00:03:33,945
He didn't try to put on
lipstick again, did he?
59
00:03:34,012 --> 00:03:37,464
In his defense, it is pretty.
60
00:03:38,833 --> 00:03:41,936
Listen, we really appreciate
you guys taking the boys again.
61
00:03:42,003 --> 00:03:42,937
Yeah, I'll tell you.
62
00:03:43,004 --> 00:03:44,324
Having some alone time
once a week
63
00:03:44,349 --> 00:03:46,106
has been huge for me and Kel.
64
00:03:46,174 --> 00:03:47,291
Oh, please. We're
happy to help out.
65
00:03:47,358 --> 00:03:48,392
Yeah, plus, once a week,
66
00:03:48,460 --> 00:03:49,660
we get to be
the kind of family
67
00:03:49,685 --> 00:03:52,696
that you usually
only see on TV.
68
00:03:52,764 --> 00:03:54,748
Do that thing I taught you.
69
00:03:54,816 --> 00:03:57,651
What you talking
about, Douglas?
70
00:03:57,719 --> 00:03:59,269
The kid's a machine.
71
00:03:59,337 --> 00:04:01,738
We really owe you guys.
Yeah.
72
00:04:01,806 --> 00:04:04,191
Darling, I need to borrow
some bronzing cream,
73
00:04:04,259 --> 00:04:07,895
an overnight bag,
and a major credit card.
74
00:04:09,113 --> 00:04:10,414
What for, dad?
75
00:04:10,481 --> 00:04:13,884
That's my personal business!
76
00:04:15,086 --> 00:04:16,887
OK. You want
to help us out?
77
00:04:16,955 --> 00:04:19,356
Take that guy off our
hands once in a while.
78
00:04:20,692 --> 00:04:22,459
Got to throw you
a big fat "no" on that one.
79
00:04:22,527 --> 00:04:24,729
Thanks again, you guys.
80
00:04:24,796 --> 00:04:26,797
Bye!
81
00:04:26,865 --> 00:04:29,133
Night.
Bye-bye.
82
00:04:38,993 --> 00:04:40,795
What are you doing?
83
00:04:40,862 --> 00:04:43,102
Apparently, somebody didn't
like his macaroni and cheese,
84
00:04:43,127 --> 00:04:45,028
so he hid it
in the change jar.
85
00:04:46,701 --> 00:04:49,061
Actually, I think that was your
dad. I saw him in that area.
86
00:04:49,086 --> 00:04:50,720
Oy.
87
00:04:50,788 --> 00:04:52,556
Uh, speaking of your dad,
88
00:04:52,623 --> 00:04:55,225
I was thinking about what you
said before to Deacon and Kelly.
89
00:04:55,293 --> 00:04:56,793
What?
90
00:04:56,861 --> 00:05:00,864
That thing about maybe them taking
him off our hands once in a while.
91
00:05:00,932 --> 00:05:02,099
I was kidding.
92
00:05:02,167 --> 00:05:03,833
I know you were
kidding, but...
93
00:05:03,901 --> 00:05:05,069
Think about it for a second.
94
00:05:05,136 --> 00:05:07,404
I mean, we watch Kirby
and major all the time, right?
95
00:05:07,472 --> 00:05:08,572
They're children.
96
00:05:08,639 --> 00:05:10,040
So? We don't
have any children.
97
00:05:10,108 --> 00:05:13,743
We have a crazy old man.
98
00:05:13,811 --> 00:05:15,445
I mean, why does society
99
00:05:15,513 --> 00:05:17,714
say that baby-sitting
is normal,
100
00:05:17,783 --> 00:05:20,985
but old-people-sitting,
that's taboo?
101
00:05:21,052 --> 00:05:22,802
Huh.
102
00:05:22,870 --> 00:05:23,803
See what I'm saying?
103
00:05:23,871 --> 00:05:25,539
I never thought of it
that way before,
104
00:05:25,606 --> 00:05:28,475
but you may be on to
something here, butch.
105
00:05:28,543 --> 00:05:30,210
Thank you.
106
00:05:30,278 --> 00:05:33,881
I mean, how different is my
father from a child, anyway?
107
00:05:33,948 --> 00:05:35,316
I mean, he acts out.
108
00:05:35,383 --> 00:05:37,318
He screams when
he doesn't get his way.
109
00:05:37,385 --> 00:05:40,037
When it thunders,
he climbs into bed with us.
110
00:05:40,105 --> 00:05:41,138
You know something?
111
00:05:41,205 --> 00:05:42,873
We deserve some alone time
112
00:05:42,941 --> 00:05:45,142
just as much
as Deacon and Kelly.
113
00:05:45,209 --> 00:05:46,877
Our marriage
isn't perfect, either.
114
00:05:46,945 --> 00:05:49,280
Far from it.
115
00:05:49,348 --> 00:05:50,547
I mean, sometimes I wake up
116
00:05:50,615 --> 00:05:52,583
and I just wanna
run away from you.
117
00:05:54,202 --> 00:05:56,870
I feel the same way!
118
00:05:56,938 --> 00:05:59,523
Of course you do!
119
00:05:59,591 --> 00:06:00,424
And you know what?
It's not just about
120
00:06:00,575 --> 00:06:02,242
us baby-sitting
major and Kirby.
121
00:06:02,310 --> 00:06:03,870
I mean, what about
all the other things?
122
00:06:03,895 --> 00:06:04,995
The-the birthday parties
123
00:06:05,063 --> 00:06:07,714
and all the school plays
we had to suffer through.
124
00:06:07,782 --> 00:06:09,022
Meanwhile,
have Deacon and Kelly
125
00:06:09,047 --> 00:06:10,968
ever been to one
of Arthur's things?
126
00:06:11,036 --> 00:06:11,886
No!
127
00:06:12,037 --> 00:06:14,071
When he got
his swimming certificate-
128
00:06:14,139 --> 00:06:17,108
and how about when he was in that
senior center production of cats?
129
00:06:17,175 --> 00:06:19,676
Where were they?
Too busy.
130
00:06:19,744 --> 00:06:22,012
Ooh, that was rough.
131
00:06:22,079 --> 00:06:25,982
Remember when that one cat
broke her hip during memories?
132
00:06:26,050 --> 00:06:31,072
OK. The point is
we present Deacon and Kelly
133
00:06:31,139 --> 00:06:34,542
with a very reasonable request,
and what do we get back?
134
00:06:34,609 --> 00:06:37,811
Gotta throw you a big
fat "no" on that one.
135
00:06:37,879 --> 00:06:39,096
Yeah! I'll tell you
one thing.
136
00:06:39,164 --> 00:06:40,398
This is happening, friend.
137
00:06:40,465 --> 00:06:42,099
Oh, I know it's happening.
138
00:06:42,167 --> 00:06:45,736
You don't have to tell me
it's happening, friend!
139
00:06:45,803 --> 00:06:48,806
We're not mad at
each other here, right?
140
00:06:48,873 --> 00:06:49,990
No.
Good.
141
00:06:50,058 --> 00:06:52,109
'Cause I got a little
lost there for a second.
142
00:06:57,832 --> 00:06:59,466
OK. They
just pulled up.
143
00:06:59,534 --> 00:07:00,718
OK. It's showtime.
144
00:07:00,785 --> 00:07:02,786
Dad? Could you come
up here for a minute?
145
00:07:02,854 --> 00:07:04,722
All right, kids. Come
on. Parents are here.
146
00:07:04,789 --> 00:07:07,241
Doug, help them get packed
up. OK. You know what, Kirb?
147
00:07:07,308 --> 00:07:11,945
Why don't you get g.I. Joe out of
that blouse and back into his khakis?
148
00:07:12,013 --> 00:07:13,597
Time for dinner?
149
00:07:13,664 --> 00:07:14,731
Uh, not exactly.
150
00:07:14,799 --> 00:07:17,067
It's just you haven't
fed me since breakfast,
151
00:07:17,134 --> 00:07:19,936
and I'm starting to hear
a low-pitched hum.
152
00:07:20,004 --> 00:07:21,988
You will be eating in no time.
153
00:07:24,976 --> 00:07:27,678
Hey. How you doing?
154
00:07:27,746 --> 00:07:28,666
How was your afternoon?
155
00:07:28,691 --> 00:07:29,947
You get some
good alone time in?
156
00:07:30,014 --> 00:07:31,454
It was great. We spent the whole day
157
00:07:31,479 --> 00:07:32,599
at the modern museum of art.
158
00:07:32,650 --> 00:07:34,869
Ouch.
159
00:07:34,936 --> 00:07:36,770
So, uh, where you headed now?
160
00:07:36,838 --> 00:07:38,955
We're gonna take the kids
to this new Italian place.
161
00:07:39,023 --> 00:07:41,608
Oh, you know, that's
right. Kirby mentioned that.
162
00:07:41,676 --> 00:07:42,916
You know
who loves Italian food?
163
00:07:42,941 --> 00:07:44,845
Arthur, you love
Italian food, don't you?
164
00:07:44,912 --> 00:07:46,430
I'd eat anything
at this point.
165
00:07:46,497 --> 00:07:49,766
Just end this experiment.
166
00:07:49,834 --> 00:07:51,484
Hey! Crazy idea.
167
00:07:51,552 --> 00:07:53,070
You love Italian food.
168
00:07:53,138 --> 00:07:55,072
You're going to an Italian restaurant.
169
00:07:55,140 --> 00:07:57,474
Maybe Deacon and Kelly
can give you a lift.
170
00:07:57,542 --> 00:07:59,226
Heck.
While you're there,
171
00:07:59,294 --> 00:08:00,734
why don't you guys
just sit together,
172
00:08:00,759 --> 00:08:02,394
ok? Would ya,
could ya?
173
00:08:08,586 --> 00:08:11,155
What-
what can I say?
174
00:08:11,222 --> 00:08:12,773
Sounds like a thumbs up to me.
175
00:08:12,840 --> 00:08:14,908
OK. Well,
have a good time.
176
00:08:14,976 --> 00:08:16,343
Here you go. Glad this worked out.
177
00:08:16,410 --> 00:08:18,345
Go on, dad.
Have a good time.
178
00:08:18,412 --> 00:08:20,580
Go ahead.
Skedoodle.
179
00:08:20,648 --> 00:08:21,648
And you behave yourself.
180
00:08:21,716 --> 00:08:22,836
I want a good report on you.
181
00:08:22,867 --> 00:08:24,501
Ha ha ha.
182
00:08:24,568 --> 00:08:26,153
Oh, Kel, one second.
183
00:08:26,220 --> 00:08:27,938
Here are his pills
and his doctor's number
184
00:08:28,006 --> 00:08:29,473
and a list of foods
he can't eat.
185
00:08:29,540 --> 00:08:31,742
Don't let him
order anything spicy.
186
00:08:31,810 --> 00:08:33,343
Thanks.
187
00:08:40,418 --> 00:08:42,419
OK. Tub's ready.
188
00:08:42,487 --> 00:08:43,687
Sweet.
189
00:08:43,755 --> 00:08:45,839
We got the house to ourselves.
190
00:08:45,940 --> 00:08:47,708
Time to get a little clean...
191
00:08:47,776 --> 00:08:50,193
And a little dirty.
192
00:08:50,261 --> 00:08:53,396
So, uh, who should,
uh, get in first?
193
00:08:53,465 --> 00:08:56,633
Um, I'm thinking you.
194
00:08:56,701 --> 00:08:58,318
All right.
195
00:09:08,880 --> 00:09:11,482
All right.
Come on in.
196
00:09:11,549 --> 00:09:13,283
Well, all righty.
197
00:09:16,554 --> 00:09:18,105
OK.
This is nice.
198
00:09:18,172 --> 00:09:20,524
Yeah.
199
00:09:20,592 --> 00:09:24,260
All right. Let's
get down to business.
200
00:09:26,364 --> 00:09:28,181
Wait wait.
Wait. You gotta-
201
00:09:28,249 --> 00:09:29,766
watch your knee, honey.
202
00:09:29,834 --> 00:09:31,902
OK. Sorry.
203
00:09:35,473 --> 00:09:38,709
That's the hot water!
Turn it off!
204
00:09:38,776 --> 00:09:39,943
Would you hurry up?!
205
00:09:40,011 --> 00:09:42,729
OK! I'm not used
to using my foot as a hand!
206
00:09:42,797 --> 00:09:44,331
That's the wrong way!
207
00:09:44,398 --> 00:09:45,899
I know that now!
208
00:09:45,934 --> 00:09:48,485
It's scalding me!
209
00:09:48,553 --> 00:09:50,403
Save yourself!
210
00:09:59,898 --> 00:10:02,399
So, after we eat,
what's on tap?
211
00:10:02,466 --> 00:10:04,417
A jazz club?
212
00:10:04,485 --> 00:10:07,187
Amateur night at the Apollo?
213
00:10:08,990 --> 00:10:11,692
Again, miniature golf.
214
00:10:11,760 --> 00:10:13,193
Wonderful.
215
00:10:13,261 --> 00:10:14,421
I think we're ready to order.
216
00:10:14,446 --> 00:10:16,913
OK. What can I
get you folks?
217
00:10:16,981 --> 00:10:18,148
The boys will have ravioli,
218
00:10:18,216 --> 00:10:19,617
and I would love a house salad
219
00:10:19,684 --> 00:10:20,784
and a spinach lasagna.
220
00:10:20,852 --> 00:10:23,454
Same for me.
How about you, Arthur?
221
00:10:23,521 --> 00:10:28,625
I think I'll try the
spicy sausage with peppers.
222
00:10:28,692 --> 00:10:30,461
Uh, Arthur...
223
00:10:30,528 --> 00:10:31,928
What's the matter?
224
00:10:31,996 --> 00:10:34,347
Well, Carrie said he's not
supposed to have anything spicy.
225
00:10:34,415 --> 00:10:36,199
Oh. Hey, why don't you
order something else?
226
00:10:36,267 --> 00:10:37,734
Very well.
227
00:10:37,802 --> 00:10:39,770
I will have...
228
00:10:39,837 --> 00:10:43,039
The spicy sausage
with peppers.
229
00:10:45,359 --> 00:10:47,293
Arthur.
230
00:10:47,361 --> 00:10:49,530
Well, it was worth a try.
231
00:10:49,597 --> 00:10:50,797
Seriously, uh,
232
00:10:50,865 --> 00:10:53,467
bring me the spicy sausage
with peppers, will you?
233
00:10:53,534 --> 00:10:55,419
Would you stop?
234
00:10:55,486 --> 00:10:56,453
I'm a grown man!
235
00:10:56,520 --> 00:10:57,680
Why can't I have what I want?
236
00:10:57,721 --> 00:10:58,655
Because you can't!
237
00:10:58,722 --> 00:11:00,162
You know, instead
of giving me grief,
238
00:11:00,230 --> 00:11:01,710
I would think you would be more upset
239
00:11:01,735 --> 00:11:05,628
about why we have been
seated next to the kitchen!
240
00:11:05,696 --> 00:11:08,148
Is it because we're black?!
241
00:11:14,989 --> 00:11:16,372
Just get what you want.
242
00:11:16,441 --> 00:11:18,475
Thank you.
243
00:11:21,679 --> 00:11:24,213
How's the spicy sausage
with peppers?
244
00:11:37,311 --> 00:11:41,565
How's his stomach...
Et cetera?
245
00:11:43,918 --> 00:11:47,237
I can't believe they
let him have spicy food.
246
00:11:49,089 --> 00:11:51,391
Are you ok?
247
00:11:51,459 --> 00:11:53,593
Talk to me, baby.
248
00:11:53,661 --> 00:11:55,929
Carrie, I saw
things down there
249
00:11:55,996 --> 00:11:57,631
that no man should ever see.
250
00:11:57,698 --> 00:12:00,701
I know. I know. You just
gotta put it out of your mind.
251
00:12:00,768 --> 00:12:03,436
I can't.
252
00:12:03,504 --> 00:12:05,388
Can I have
some more milk of magnesia?
253
00:12:05,456 --> 00:12:07,457
I'm starting
to percolate again.
254
00:12:09,226 --> 00:12:10,560
Bringing it right down, dad.
255
00:12:10,628 --> 00:12:11,928
No!
256
00:12:11,996 --> 00:12:15,098
I will not let my
daughter see me like this.
257
00:12:15,166 --> 00:12:17,167
Send Douglas.
258
00:12:22,339 --> 00:12:24,091
Hey, come on in.
259
00:12:24,159 --> 00:12:26,093
Hey. I know
it's pretty short notice
260
00:12:26,161 --> 00:12:27,594
to dump the kids on you again,
261
00:12:27,662 --> 00:12:29,997
but these Beyonce tickets
just fell into our lap.
262
00:12:30,064 --> 00:12:31,832
Nothing like a Beyonce concert
263
00:12:31,900 --> 00:12:33,466
to keep a marriage strong.
264
00:12:33,534 --> 00:12:37,187
We do the same thing with
monster truck rallies.
265
00:12:37,255 --> 00:12:39,256
Hey, thanks for taking
my dad off our hands
266
00:12:39,324 --> 00:12:40,924
on Saturday night.
267
00:12:40,991 --> 00:12:43,071
Oh, don't be silly. We had
a great time. Right, babe?
268
00:12:43,995 --> 00:12:45,696
He's something.
269
00:12:45,764 --> 00:12:47,964
Yeah, the only thing is, and
maybe you guys just forgot,
270
00:12:48,032 --> 00:12:50,634
uh, but you let him
have spicy food,
271
00:12:50,702 --> 00:12:53,036
and, well, we were up
with him all night.
272
00:12:53,104 --> 00:12:54,421
Yeah. Um...
273
00:12:54,489 --> 00:12:55,929
We told him that
he couldn't have it,
274
00:12:55,956 --> 00:12:59,726
and, you know, he made a big
scene and started yelling, so-
275
00:12:59,793 --> 00:13:02,512
so... you just
let him yell.
276
00:13:02,580 --> 00:13:06,383
Didn't really wanna do that
in a crowded restaurant.
277
00:13:06,451 --> 00:13:09,269
And I could understand that, Kell,
278
00:13:09,337 --> 00:13:10,871
um, I do.
279
00:13:10,939 --> 00:13:13,841
But it's just that
when major and Kirby
280
00:13:13,908 --> 00:13:17,277
are yelling for stuff,
which they do a lot,
281
00:13:17,345 --> 00:13:19,896
um, we can also just
forget the rules
282
00:13:19,964 --> 00:13:24,734
and say, "sure, you can use
that drill to play dentist,"
283
00:13:24,802 --> 00:13:26,836
but we don't.
284
00:13:26,904 --> 00:13:27,721
You know what?
285
00:13:27,789 --> 00:13:30,490
Next time he yells, just
give him a piece of Taffy.
286
00:13:30,558 --> 00:13:32,659
That'll buy you 45 minutes.
287
00:13:37,548 --> 00:13:38,931
Next time?
288
00:13:38,999 --> 00:13:42,819
Yeah. We're taking your kids this
time, next time, you take Arthur.
289
00:13:42,886 --> 00:13:45,706
Right.
290
00:13:45,773 --> 00:13:47,991
It is right.
291
00:13:49,893 --> 00:13:50,727
You know what?
We should probably go
292
00:13:50,795 --> 00:13:52,155
if we're gonna
make that show, so--
293
00:13:52,180 --> 00:13:53,013
OK.
294
00:13:53,080 --> 00:13:54,014
You two take it easy.
295
00:13:54,081 --> 00:13:55,241
We'll see you in a few hours.
296
00:13:55,266 --> 00:13:56,583
Be good.
297
00:13:56,651 --> 00:13:58,351
All right, I'm gonna
get the burgers going,
298
00:13:58,419 --> 00:14:00,186
and you guys just
pick out a video, ok?
299
00:14:00,254 --> 00:14:01,320
OK.
OK.
300
00:14:02,940 --> 00:14:04,660
Did you catch the
attitude coming from them?
301
00:14:04,685 --> 00:14:05,308
Hard to miss.
302
00:14:05,375 --> 00:14:06,576
You know what I think?
303
00:14:06,594 --> 00:14:07,914
I don't think
they just let my dad
304
00:14:07,939 --> 00:14:09,496
have spicy food
because he was yelling.
305
00:14:09,564 --> 00:14:11,431
They wanted him to have it.
306
00:14:11,499 --> 00:14:13,800
They figured they'd
make it so tough on us
307
00:14:13,868 --> 00:14:16,202
that we wouldn't ask
them to take Arthur again.
308
00:14:16,270 --> 00:14:18,455
Right! And meanwhile, we're
so good with their kids.
309
00:14:18,523 --> 00:14:20,073
We're freakin' great.
310
00:14:20,141 --> 00:14:21,959
Aunt Carrie?
What is it now?
311
00:14:22,026 --> 00:14:24,661
Can I have some
mayonnaise on my hamburger?
312
00:14:24,728 --> 00:14:26,696
Yes, you can have
mayonnaise on your hamburger.
313
00:14:26,764 --> 00:14:27,981
Can we have coffee, too?
314
00:14:28,049 --> 00:14:29,369
No, sweetie.
Remember I told you--
315
00:14:29,383 --> 00:14:33,686
Coffee! Coffee!
Coffee! Coffee! Coffee!
316
00:14:39,127 --> 00:14:41,995
OK. Go get me your sippy cups.
Hurry up.
317
00:14:52,122 --> 00:14:53,390
All right!
All right.
318
00:14:53,457 --> 00:14:54,391
Settle down.
319
00:14:54,458 --> 00:14:56,393
What is it with you guys?
320
00:14:56,460 --> 00:14:58,195
Aunt Carrie gave us coffee.
321
00:14:58,262 --> 00:15:02,999
Coffee! Coffee!
Coffee! Coffee! Coffee!
322
00:15:06,203 --> 00:15:07,738
Here you go.
323
00:15:12,259 --> 00:15:14,427
What does "caliente" mean?
324
00:15:14,495 --> 00:15:17,814
It means "delicious."
325
00:15:17,882 --> 00:15:19,482
Hmm.
326
00:15:21,102 --> 00:15:23,887
"And then, eyes
widening in horror,
327
00:15:23,955 --> 00:15:26,022
"he saw the word redrum
328
00:15:26,090 --> 00:15:28,624
"reflecting dimly
from the glass dome
329
00:15:28,692 --> 00:15:30,393
"now reflected twice.
330
00:15:30,461 --> 00:15:32,729
"And he saw that
it spelled murder.
331
00:15:32,796 --> 00:15:35,498
Danny torrance screamed
in wretched terror."
332
00:15:35,566 --> 00:15:37,133
Aah!
333
00:15:39,420 --> 00:15:41,905
Look what they bought me
at radio shack!
334
00:15:54,952 --> 00:15:57,554
Are we gonna
do anything tonight?
335
00:15:57,622 --> 00:15:59,222
Oh, yeah. We're
gonna do something.
336
00:15:59,290 --> 00:16:01,224
Just don't know
what yet, babe.
337
00:16:03,294 --> 00:16:06,763
But it will be good.
338
00:16:07,882 --> 00:16:10,333
All right.
So, what do you got?
339
00:16:10,401 --> 00:16:12,068
Wanna do the coffee
thing again?
340
00:16:12,136 --> 00:16:15,438
OK. That is
so 2 weeks ago.
341
00:16:15,505 --> 00:16:19,393
Douglas! Did you borrow
my argyle socks?
342
00:16:23,664 --> 00:16:25,849
No.
343
00:16:25,917 --> 00:16:29,786
Your feet are 8 sizes
bigger than mine.
344
00:16:29,854 --> 00:16:32,004
I can't believe they
bought him a megaphone.
345
00:16:32,072 --> 00:16:34,707
Well, when we sent them
home with that ferret,
346
00:16:34,775 --> 00:16:37,511
we knew they'd come
back at us pretty hard.
347
00:16:38,712 --> 00:16:40,780
Oh, man. This thing's getting crazy.
348
00:16:40,848 --> 00:16:42,782
Maybe we should just
be the bigger couple
349
00:16:42,850 --> 00:16:45,034
and stop asking them
to take Arthur.
350
00:16:45,102 --> 00:16:46,269
What?!
351
00:16:46,337 --> 00:16:48,839
And give up our alone time?
352
00:16:48,906 --> 00:16:51,191
Honey, are you really
enjoying it that much?
353
00:16:52,709 --> 00:16:54,144
It is what it is, you know,
354
00:16:54,211 --> 00:16:56,112
but that's not the point!
355
00:16:56,180 --> 00:16:58,131
OK? There is
a principle here.
356
00:16:58,199 --> 00:17:00,984
We can't just give up
when we know we're right.
357
00:17:01,052 --> 00:17:02,853
Update on the socks.
358
00:17:02,920 --> 00:17:06,623
They were in the dryer
the whole time.
359
00:17:06,691 --> 00:17:08,331
All right, if we're
gonna keep doing this,
360
00:17:08,375 --> 00:17:10,276
then we gotta go for
a knockout punch.
361
00:17:10,344 --> 00:17:11,784
OK? Something they
can't get up from.
362
00:17:11,809 --> 00:17:13,543
OK.
363
00:17:26,443 --> 00:17:28,077
I'll get it.
364
00:17:31,282 --> 00:17:33,482
Hey!
How's it going?
365
00:17:33,550 --> 00:17:35,435
We're here for our children.
366
00:17:35,503 --> 00:17:36,519
Hi, mom.
Hi, dad.
367
00:17:36,587 --> 00:17:38,021
Hi, baby.
368
00:17:38,089 --> 00:17:39,139
Hey, bud.
How you doin'?
369
00:17:39,207 --> 00:17:42,942
You doin' all right?
Cool. All right.
370
00:17:43,010 --> 00:17:45,328
Um... where's
your brother?
371
00:17:45,396 --> 00:17:48,030
I don't know. Kirby? I
think he scampered upstairs.
372
00:17:48,098 --> 00:17:49,899
We haven't
seen him in a while.
373
00:17:51,485 --> 00:17:52,752
Kirby?
Kirby?
374
00:17:52,820 --> 00:17:55,688
Kirby?!
Kirby!
375
00:17:55,756 --> 00:17:57,373
Check the bedroom!
376
00:17:57,441 --> 00:17:59,409
Right by the makeup.
377
00:18:01,295 --> 00:18:04,331
Oh, my god! He looks
like Liza minelli!
378
00:18:06,700 --> 00:18:08,935
I think we all know
why we're here.
379
00:18:09,003 --> 00:18:10,854
I think we do.
380
00:18:10,922 --> 00:18:12,642
This whole thing
has gotten way out of hand,
381
00:18:12,667 --> 00:18:14,634
and it's hurting
the people we love.
382
00:18:24,302 --> 00:18:26,670
Well, look, we didn't
mean to hurt anybody,
383
00:18:26,737 --> 00:18:28,238
but you guys started it
384
00:18:28,306 --> 00:18:30,340
when you gave
my dad spicy food.
385
00:18:30,408 --> 00:18:33,376
And you ended it by giving
my kid an extreme makeover.
386
00:18:34,612 --> 00:18:36,663
The point is you're
the kids' godparents
387
00:18:36,730 --> 00:18:38,170
and they love
spending time with you,
388
00:18:38,195 --> 00:18:39,332
so we wanna work this out.
389
00:18:39,400 --> 00:18:40,440
We wanna work it out, too,
390
00:18:40,465 --> 00:18:42,185
but it has to work out for all of us.
391
00:18:42,253 --> 00:18:43,052
I agree.
392
00:18:43,120 --> 00:18:44,404
So we have come up
393
00:18:44,471 --> 00:18:47,007
with what we think is a
very reasonable proposal.
394
00:18:47,074 --> 00:18:49,292
Lay it on us.
395
00:18:49,359 --> 00:18:50,593
You keep taking the kids,
396
00:18:50,661 --> 00:18:52,094
we stop taking Arthur,
397
00:18:52,162 --> 00:18:54,530
but... when
the four of us go out,
398
00:18:54,598 --> 00:18:56,950
we pick up
2 out of every 3 checks.
399
00:18:57,017 --> 00:18:59,953
And that beanbag chair in
our place that Doug likes,
400
00:19:00,020 --> 00:19:01,588
it's all yours.
401
00:19:06,077 --> 00:19:09,445
That chair was leaking
beans last time I saw it.
402
00:19:09,513 --> 00:19:11,330
I'll patch it up.
403
00:19:14,752 --> 00:19:18,121
No. This has to be
about you taking Arthur.
404
00:19:18,188 --> 00:19:20,490
Yeah, and just as much
as we take the kids.
405
00:19:20,558 --> 00:19:22,208
That's ridiculous.
406
00:19:22,276 --> 00:19:23,310
Ridiculous?
407
00:19:23,377 --> 00:19:24,777
You guys have a good evening.
408
00:19:24,845 --> 00:19:27,180
Wait. Take it easy.
Take it easy. Come on.
409
00:19:27,248 --> 00:19:28,715
Sit down.
410
00:19:33,187 --> 00:19:34,821
All right, we'll take Arthur,
411
00:19:34,888 --> 00:19:36,648
but it can't be as much
as you take the kids.
412
00:19:36,673 --> 00:19:37,790
It's just too weird.
413
00:19:37,858 --> 00:19:39,876
Well, how often? How
many times a month?
414
00:19:49,770 --> 00:19:50,904
OK.
415
00:19:50,971 --> 00:19:53,306
Oh, come on. It was
just an opening figure.
416
00:19:53,374 --> 00:19:56,108
It's a one
with a question mark.
417
00:19:56,176 --> 00:19:57,327
All right.
418
00:19:57,394 --> 00:19:59,095
Maybe we can take him
2 or 3 times a month,
419
00:19:59,163 --> 00:20:00,730
but he's just so crazy.
420
00:20:00,797 --> 00:20:02,832
I don't know why he's so
crazy when you get him.
421
00:20:02,900 --> 00:20:05,868
He does take his blue
pill at 6:00 every day.
422
00:20:05,936 --> 00:20:06,586
Well, it ain't doin' the job.
423
00:20:06,654 --> 00:20:07,938
OK, look.
How about this?
424
00:20:08,005 --> 00:20:09,325
If we take him,
you gotta give him
425
00:20:09,350 --> 00:20:10,507
more than one pill.
426
00:20:10,574 --> 00:20:13,292
Well, how many more
are we talking here?
427
00:20:20,250 --> 00:20:24,020
That many?
That'll kill him!
428
00:20:24,088 --> 00:20:26,723
We don't know that.
429
00:20:29,293 --> 00:20:31,962
How about we bump it up to 2?
430
00:20:32,029 --> 00:20:34,697
And a shot of cough syrup.
431
00:20:34,764 --> 00:20:36,599
Done.
432
00:20:36,667 --> 00:20:38,347
So we're back in the
best friends business?
433
00:20:38,372 --> 00:20:39,319
I think so.
434
00:20:39,387 --> 00:20:41,854
I'm glad we got this over with,
'cause you two fight ghetto.
435
00:20:41,922 --> 00:20:43,556
You started with the--
436
00:20:43,624 --> 00:20:45,492
Just so you know,
437
00:20:45,559 --> 00:20:47,761
we are very aware
you're talking about us,
438
00:20:47,828 --> 00:20:49,462
and we don't appreciate it.
439
00:20:49,530 --> 00:20:51,147
To show my displeasure,
440
00:20:51,215 --> 00:20:56,803
I've polished off a full platter
of the spicy garlic shrimp.
441
00:20:59,489 --> 00:21:01,824
You've got 12 minutes.
442
00:21:15,122 --> 00:21:18,040
Hey, you guys. Hey, honey,
Doug and Carrie are here.
443
00:21:18,108 --> 00:21:19,509
How was the movie?
444
00:21:19,577 --> 00:21:22,111
- Great. How'd things go with my dad?
- Oh, great.
445
00:21:22,179 --> 00:21:24,363
Here's the little fella.
446
00:21:26,266 --> 00:21:28,184
He fell asleep
during Scarface.
447
00:21:28,251 --> 00:21:29,702
Aw.
448
00:21:29,770 --> 00:21:33,206
OK. We'll just put him in
his pajamas when we get home.
31423
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