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1
00:00:07,241 --> 00:00:09,543
You don't seem to grasp, 3j.
2
00:00:09,610 --> 00:00:11,945
That the whole idea
Of big brothers
3
00:00:12,012 --> 00:00:14,182
Is to be friends
With the volunteers
4
00:00:14,248 --> 00:00:15,749
Who spend time with you.
5
00:00:15,816 --> 00:00:18,719
Hey, I'm down with that.
100%.
6
00:00:18,786 --> 00:00:20,388
No lie.
7
00:00:21,489 --> 00:00:22,823
Well, then,
Can you explain
8
00:00:22,890 --> 00:00:26,127
Why the last four big brothers
We assigned you quit?
9
00:00:26,194 --> 00:00:28,296
Wimps. All of them.
10
00:00:28,362 --> 00:00:30,764
Just big brother wimps.
11
00:00:31,832 --> 00:00:33,134
It wasn't my fault.
12
00:00:33,201 --> 00:00:35,469
I'm a little angel.
13
00:00:37,071 --> 00:00:38,372
Yeah, right.
14
00:00:38,439 --> 00:00:40,974
Leonard here said
You scared him
Half to death.
15
00:00:41,041 --> 00:00:44,245
Oh...
Big misunderstanding
With lenny.
16
00:00:44,312 --> 00:00:47,548
See, he didn't know
That in my 'hood,
17
00:00:47,615 --> 00:00:49,583
Putting a snake
Down a guy's pants
18
00:00:49,650 --> 00:00:52,052
Is a sign of respect.
19
00:00:53,454 --> 00:00:55,756
Look, here's the bottom line,
3j.
20
00:00:55,823 --> 00:00:59,160
Your aunt begged me
To give you one last chance.
21
00:00:59,227 --> 00:01:02,029
And, personally,
I don't like
To give up on a kid.
22
00:01:02,096 --> 00:01:04,398
I could see that. Yeah.
23
00:01:06,500 --> 00:01:09,137
So I have found you
One last big brother,
24
00:01:09,203 --> 00:01:11,672
Who I hope will be
A perfect role model.
25
00:01:11,739 --> 00:01:13,341
An intelligent, caring,
26
00:01:13,407 --> 00:01:15,576
Enthusiastic young man.
27
00:01:15,643 --> 00:01:17,378
Hi-dee-ho!
28
00:01:28,122 --> 00:01:30,158
Oh, boy.
29
00:01:31,159 --> 00:01:32,760
Terribly sorry.
30
00:01:32,826 --> 00:01:34,027
But don't worry.
31
00:01:34,094 --> 00:01:35,629
I know a
Great glass guy.
32
00:01:35,696 --> 00:01:38,732
Thrown him a lot
Of business over the years.
33
00:01:38,799 --> 00:01:40,000
See?
34
00:01:40,067 --> 00:01:41,635
"I'm a pane
In the glass."
35
00:01:41,702 --> 00:01:42,736
[laughs]
36
00:01:42,803 --> 00:01:44,272
[snorts]
37
00:01:44,338 --> 00:01:46,540
You're sticking me
With this fool?
38
00:01:49,277 --> 00:01:51,044
Uh, yeah.
This is steve urkel--
39
00:01:51,111 --> 00:01:52,746
Your new big brother.
40
00:01:52,813 --> 00:01:55,349
Put it there,
Little guy.
41
00:02:06,994 --> 00:02:09,397
[car horns honking]
42
00:02:15,769 --> 00:02:18,806
Did I do that?
43
00:02:23,143 --> 00:02:24,545
Don't worry!
44
00:02:24,612 --> 00:02:26,747
I know a great
Auto body guy!
45
00:02:36,524 --> 00:02:38,292
You're going to love
The winslows.
46
00:02:38,359 --> 00:02:41,462
Ooh!
I already do!
47
00:02:41,529 --> 00:02:44,298
Well, hi. Who's your
New friend, steve?
48
00:02:44,365 --> 00:02:46,334
I signed on
To be a big brother.
49
00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:48,969
And this is my young ward 3j.
50
00:02:49,036 --> 00:02:51,439
It stands for
Jared jamal jameson.
51
00:02:51,505 --> 00:02:54,242
And who might you be,
My tall tenderoni?
52
00:02:56,844 --> 00:02:58,512
Excuse me?
53
00:02:59,580 --> 00:03:01,982
Ah, I'm
Seeing everything.
54
00:03:02,049 --> 00:03:04,552
Baby got back!
55
00:03:07,455 --> 00:03:09,223
Listen,
You little slug...
56
00:03:09,290 --> 00:03:11,124
Drool over somebody
Your own age,
57
00:03:11,191 --> 00:03:12,360
Like baby bop.
58
00:03:13,661 --> 00:03:16,964
Watch your little
Nasty self.
59
00:03:18,299 --> 00:03:20,200
She wants me.
60
00:03:21,435 --> 00:03:24,238
Eee-eee-eee.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
61
00:03:24,305 --> 00:03:26,574
You were
A little offensive there,
Little guy.
62
00:03:26,640 --> 00:03:27,775
I was?
63
00:03:27,841 --> 00:03:30,378
Rule of thumb when meeting
The winslow women...
64
00:03:30,444 --> 00:03:33,414
Don't talk about
Their butts.
65
00:03:33,481 --> 00:03:35,383
You're the man, urkie.
66
00:03:35,449 --> 00:03:36,917
Uh, that's steve.
67
00:03:36,984 --> 00:03:38,952
Whatever you say, urkie.
68
00:03:40,954 --> 00:03:42,390
Ha ha ha ha!
69
00:03:42,456 --> 00:03:43,424
Hey, steve.
70
00:03:43,491 --> 00:03:44,258
Hi.
71
00:03:44,325 --> 00:03:45,993
Yo. It's the heat!
72
00:03:50,531 --> 00:03:52,032
Hi, carl.
Hi, harriette.
73
00:03:52,099 --> 00:03:53,901
Uh, steve...
74
00:03:53,967 --> 00:03:55,135
Who's that
Behind the couch
75
00:03:55,202 --> 00:03:56,770
Hiding from
The heat?
76
00:03:56,837 --> 00:03:59,673
3j,
Come out here.
77
00:04:05,313 --> 00:04:06,714
I want you to meet
Carl.
78
00:04:06,780 --> 00:04:08,649
He's the head honcho
Around here.
79
00:04:08,716 --> 00:04:11,419
And harriette,
The lovely lady
Of winslow manor.
80
00:04:13,220 --> 00:04:15,022
Hi.
81
00:04:16,457 --> 00:04:18,158
He's cute,
Isn't he?
82
00:04:18,225 --> 00:04:19,159
Hi, 3j.
83
00:04:19,226 --> 00:04:21,329
Ha ha ha.
84
00:04:21,395 --> 00:04:23,364
I'm 3j's
New big brother.
85
00:04:23,431 --> 00:04:25,032
We don't get
To pick.
86
00:04:29,236 --> 00:04:30,904
Neither did I.
87
00:04:32,740 --> 00:04:35,776
You know
The big brothers program
Has helped a lot of kids.
88
00:04:35,843 --> 00:04:39,046
Yeah, maybe they can
Help me with
My little problem.
89
00:04:39,112 --> 00:04:40,814
What's that?
90
00:04:40,881 --> 00:04:42,082
They say I've got...
91
00:04:42,149 --> 00:04:44,652
Sticky fingers.
92
00:04:44,718 --> 00:04:48,121
Give me that!
That's my watch!
93
00:04:48,188 --> 00:04:49,523
Ha ha ha!
94
00:04:49,590 --> 00:04:52,926
You know, for being a cop,
You sure got suckered.
95
00:04:52,993 --> 00:04:54,728
Hey,
Look what I found.
96
00:04:54,795 --> 00:04:58,198
Give me that,
You little klepto!
97
00:04:58,265 --> 00:04:59,400
Now, 3j,
98
00:04:59,467 --> 00:05:01,335
People don't
Warm to a guy
99
00:05:01,402 --> 00:05:02,770
Who boosts
Their jewelry.
100
00:05:02,836 --> 00:05:03,937
Now, come along.
101
00:05:04,004 --> 00:05:07,708
I've got to get
To the international
Bug expo.
102
00:05:07,775 --> 00:05:09,042
[closes door]
103
00:05:09,109 --> 00:05:10,511
You know,
That young man's cute,
104
00:05:10,578 --> 00:05:12,012
But I'm afraid
He's trouble.
105
00:05:12,079 --> 00:05:15,248
Oh...He just wants people
To think he's tough.
106
00:05:15,315 --> 00:05:18,986
I bet deep down inside
He's a good kid.
107
00:05:19,052 --> 00:05:20,388
Hee hee hee hee hee.
108
00:05:20,454 --> 00:05:22,656
Little guy
Took your wallet.
109
00:05:22,723 --> 00:05:25,426
Why, that--
You! You come here!
110
00:05:40,140 --> 00:05:40,941
Harriette?
111
00:05:41,008 --> 00:05:41,642
Hmm?
112
00:05:41,709 --> 00:05:43,176
What's going on
Here?
113
00:05:43,243 --> 00:05:47,648
I'm scraping ham fat
Off this broiler
Is what's going on.
114
00:05:47,715 --> 00:05:50,618
No, no. I'm talking
About this passbook.
115
00:05:50,684 --> 00:05:52,886
This savings account
Passbook.
116
00:05:52,953 --> 00:05:55,456
This savings account
Passbook with
Your name on it,
117
00:05:55,523 --> 00:05:56,624
But not mine.
118
00:05:56,690 --> 00:05:58,692
Oh, well,
That's nothing, carl.
119
00:05:58,759 --> 00:06:00,360
It's just a little mad money.
120
00:06:00,428 --> 00:06:01,695
You're right.
That's exactly
What it is,
121
00:06:01,762 --> 00:06:03,764
'cause it's
Making me mad.
122
00:06:03,831 --> 00:06:07,134
Why? I just stashed away
Something for a rainy day.
123
00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:08,969
Rainy day?
124
00:06:09,036 --> 00:06:10,438
$1,200?
125
00:06:10,504 --> 00:06:12,372
That's not
A rainy day,
Harriette.
126
00:06:12,440 --> 00:06:14,007
That's a typhoon!
127
00:06:15,976 --> 00:06:17,445
Okay, carl.
128
00:06:17,511 --> 00:06:19,212
You busted me.
129
00:06:19,279 --> 00:06:20,814
I'm saving up to buy a lear jet
130
00:06:20,881 --> 00:06:24,618
So I can run off to rio
With antonio banderas.
131
00:06:27,120 --> 00:06:28,656
Oh, carl...
132
00:06:28,722 --> 00:06:29,790
Would you feel better
133
00:06:29,857 --> 00:06:32,159
If I told you what
I was saving for?
134
00:06:32,225 --> 00:06:33,727
Oh, no, no, no, no.
135
00:06:33,794 --> 00:06:35,829
After all,
I wouldn't want to pry.
136
00:06:35,896 --> 00:06:38,265
Lord knows what you got
Stashed away.
137
00:06:38,331 --> 00:06:40,233
A numbered
Swiss bank account.
138
00:06:40,300 --> 00:06:41,835
Huh? Hmm?
139
00:06:41,902 --> 00:06:44,738
A safe deposit box
In the cayman islands.
140
00:06:44,805 --> 00:06:49,977
Probably a whole
Another family
Up in kenosha, hmm?
141
00:06:50,043 --> 00:06:50,878
Hey, carl.
142
00:06:50,944 --> 00:06:51,445
Hmm?
143
00:06:51,512 --> 00:06:53,447
Up your kenosha.
144
00:06:54,482 --> 00:06:55,783
Harriette!
145
00:06:55,849 --> 00:06:57,985
Well, you're acting
Like an idiot, carl.
146
00:06:59,319 --> 00:07:00,621
Well...
147
00:07:01,522 --> 00:07:02,990
You know...
148
00:07:04,024 --> 00:07:06,727
I may be an idiot...
149
00:07:06,794 --> 00:07:10,130
But at least I don't
Hide it from you.
150
00:07:21,374 --> 00:07:25,613
So the answer is 33
And a remainder
Of 4/12ths or...
151
00:07:25,679 --> 00:07:30,183
33 1/3. Can't we
Do something fun,
Urkie?
152
00:07:32,653 --> 00:07:35,422
It's steve,
And I really think
We should concentrate
153
00:07:35,489 --> 00:07:37,558
On our school work.
154
00:07:40,594 --> 00:07:41,662
Tell you what.
155
00:07:41,729 --> 00:07:43,831
If it's fun
That you're looking for,
156
00:07:43,897 --> 00:07:46,266
We'll switch to geography.
157
00:07:46,333 --> 00:07:48,401
We'll make a game
Out of it.
158
00:07:48,468 --> 00:07:51,038
Why, we'll play bee ball
In nepal.
159
00:07:52,239 --> 00:07:54,775
We'll fast break
In kuwait.
160
00:07:54,842 --> 00:07:57,277
We'll be like shaq
In iraq.
161
00:07:57,344 --> 00:07:58,546
Whoa!
162
00:08:05,252 --> 00:08:06,620
On second thought,
163
00:08:06,687 --> 00:08:09,189
Just grab that
Geography book over there.
164
00:08:13,293 --> 00:08:14,427
This one?
165
00:08:14,494 --> 00:08:15,663
Uh-uh.
166
00:08:15,729 --> 00:08:17,865
The geography book.
167
00:08:18,398 --> 00:08:20,033
Here you go.
168
00:08:22,169 --> 00:08:23,704
This is arithmetic.
169
00:08:23,771 --> 00:08:25,606
Why do you keep avoiding
Geography?
170
00:08:25,673 --> 00:08:28,976
I'm not. I just picked up
The wrong book.
171
00:08:29,042 --> 00:08:31,078
End of story.
172
00:08:41,622 --> 00:08:44,424
You don't know
How to read, do you, 3j?
173
00:08:44,491 --> 00:08:46,059
Why...Sure, I do!
174
00:08:46,126 --> 00:08:47,394
[car horn honks]
175
00:08:47,460 --> 00:08:48,696
That's my aunt.
176
00:08:48,762 --> 00:08:50,631
I'm out of here.
177
00:08:50,698 --> 00:08:52,165
Now, wait,
Little guy.
178
00:08:52,232 --> 00:08:53,400
We can talk
About this.
179
00:08:53,466 --> 00:08:55,402
No.
I'm done talking.
180
00:08:55,468 --> 00:08:56,804
And I'm done studying.
181
00:08:56,870 --> 00:08:59,406
I don't need you
As a big brother.
182
00:08:59,472 --> 00:09:00,641
But, 3j...
183
00:09:00,708 --> 00:09:02,610
Leave me alone!
184
00:09:19,492 --> 00:09:20,628
Hi, honey.
185
00:09:20,694 --> 00:09:21,862
Harriette.
186
00:09:24,898 --> 00:09:26,967
How was work,
Sweetheart?
187
00:09:27,034 --> 00:09:29,036
I'm not telling.
188
00:09:29,102 --> 00:09:31,038
It's a secret.
189
00:09:33,607 --> 00:09:36,376
Harriette, where are
My favorite cookies?
190
00:09:36,443 --> 00:09:39,613
Or are you hiding them,
Too?
191
00:09:39,680 --> 00:09:41,715
Here we go again.
192
00:09:41,782 --> 00:09:44,451
Perhaps you have
A concealed trapdoor
193
00:09:44,517 --> 00:09:47,855
Where you hide
Your own ding-dongs.
194
00:09:47,921 --> 00:09:50,190
Carl, I've only got
One ding-dong,
195
00:09:50,257 --> 00:09:52,325
And I'm looking
At him.
196
00:09:53,927 --> 00:09:55,562
[high-pitched voice]
A-ha, a-ha.
197
00:09:55,629 --> 00:09:58,131
A-ha-ha.
198
00:09:58,198 --> 00:10:00,133
[normal voice]
Very funny, harriette,
199
00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:05,372
But I'm not going
To stand here and trade
Quips with you,
200
00:10:05,438 --> 00:10:06,940
Because you know
My motto.
201
00:10:07,007 --> 00:10:09,376
"If it doesn't move,
Eat it"?
202
00:10:14,214 --> 00:10:15,849
No.
203
00:10:15,916 --> 00:10:18,051
That's my old motto.
204
00:10:19,319 --> 00:10:20,620
My new motto is,
205
00:10:20,688 --> 00:10:22,890
"Fight fire with fire,"
206
00:10:22,956 --> 00:10:26,727
Because today I went out
And got myself this.
207
00:10:26,794 --> 00:10:27,861
Ha ha ha.
208
00:10:27,928 --> 00:10:30,664
My own separate
Savings account.
209
00:10:34,134 --> 00:10:35,635
$9.00?
210
00:10:37,370 --> 00:10:39,539
9 big ones.
211
00:10:39,606 --> 00:10:42,710
And it's drawing
2% per annum, baby.
212
00:10:44,678 --> 00:10:46,146
Carl...
213
00:10:46,213 --> 00:10:48,148
Sit down.
214
00:10:48,215 --> 00:10:51,118
We're going to end
This nonsense.
215
00:10:52,385 --> 00:10:53,954
Hah. Well...
216
00:10:54,722 --> 00:10:55,956
I'm going to tell you
217
00:10:56,023 --> 00:10:58,859
All the little dark secrets
I've kept from you
218
00:10:58,926 --> 00:11:01,328
In the 25 years
That we've been married.
219
00:11:01,394 --> 00:11:03,864
Aha! I knew
There was more!
220
00:11:06,734 --> 00:11:08,568
Number one--
221
00:11:08,635 --> 00:11:09,903
On our first date,
222
00:11:09,970 --> 00:11:12,439
My fingernails weren't real.
223
00:11:12,505 --> 00:11:13,707
Oh, well, I...
224
00:11:13,774 --> 00:11:15,075
Number two--
225
00:11:15,142 --> 00:11:16,944
I never have
And never will
226
00:11:17,010 --> 00:11:21,381
Enjoy our annual visit to
The recreational vehicle show.
227
00:11:25,719 --> 00:11:27,620
And number three--
228
00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:29,923
Sometime last november,
When you got frisky,
229
00:11:29,990 --> 00:11:31,959
And I told you
I had a headache...
230
00:11:32,025 --> 00:11:36,529
I didn't have a headache,
Carl.
231
00:11:36,596 --> 00:11:38,031
You lied to me,
Harriette?
232
00:11:38,098 --> 00:11:39,933
Yes, I did.
233
00:11:41,201 --> 00:11:44,104
You don't like
The recreational vehicle
Show?
234
00:11:49,242 --> 00:11:50,477
Nope.
235
00:11:50,543 --> 00:11:52,479
Can't stand rvs.
236
00:11:54,381 --> 00:11:57,017
Carl, I'm hurt that
After all these years,
237
00:11:57,084 --> 00:11:58,986
You'd have so little
Faith in me.
238
00:11:59,052 --> 00:12:01,221
Do you really think
That I hid that money from you
239
00:12:01,288 --> 00:12:04,191
Because I had
Some ulterior motive?
240
00:12:04,257 --> 00:12:06,994
Well, that's what
It looked like.
241
00:12:07,060 --> 00:12:09,129
Well...
242
00:12:09,196 --> 00:12:11,364
Carl...
243
00:12:11,431 --> 00:12:13,733
I was saving
That money...
244
00:12:13,801 --> 00:12:15,702
So that I could
Buy you...
245
00:12:15,769 --> 00:12:17,237
This.
246
00:12:21,674 --> 00:12:23,143
What is this?
247
00:12:23,210 --> 00:12:25,245
It was supposed to be
Your birthday present.
248
00:12:25,312 --> 00:12:27,347
But since
You're so suspicious,
249
00:12:27,414 --> 00:12:29,149
Open it now.
250
00:12:41,829 --> 00:12:44,197
A camcorder!
251
00:12:44,264 --> 00:12:45,398
Harriette...
252
00:12:45,465 --> 00:12:46,900
It's a camcorder!
253
00:12:46,967 --> 00:12:48,401
I know, carl.
254
00:12:48,468 --> 00:12:50,103
I bought it.
255
00:12:53,573 --> 00:12:55,809
[sheepish laugh]
256
00:12:57,144 --> 00:12:58,145
Gotcha!
257
00:12:58,211 --> 00:12:59,379
Yeah.
258
00:12:59,446 --> 00:13:01,048
Ha ha. Ahem.
259
00:13:03,150 --> 00:13:06,153
Harriette, how do you
Put up with me?
260
00:13:06,219 --> 00:13:07,754
I have
A secret husband...
261
00:13:07,821 --> 00:13:09,156
Who's nicer.
262
00:13:12,292 --> 00:13:15,996
Harriette,
I've been acting like
A complete and total jerk.
263
00:13:16,063 --> 00:13:18,899
At least now we can
Capture it on tape.
264
00:13:22,802 --> 00:13:24,905
I'm sorry, harriette.
265
00:13:25,805 --> 00:13:27,908
I love you, mrs. Winslow.
266
00:13:30,377 --> 00:13:32,012
[sighs]
267
00:13:35,248 --> 00:13:38,051
I love you, too,
Mr. Winslow.
268
00:13:38,118 --> 00:13:40,353
Ohh! Ha ha ha ha
Ha ha!
269
00:14:10,951 --> 00:14:12,185
Excuse me.
270
00:14:12,252 --> 00:14:14,721
Would you ladies be doves
And step aside?
271
00:14:14,787 --> 00:14:17,057
Hey, look,
It's e.T.!
272
00:14:18,391 --> 00:14:21,194
Phone home, sucker!
Phone home.
273
00:14:25,498 --> 00:14:29,836
You know, if I had a nickel
For every time
Someone called me e.T.,
274
00:14:29,903 --> 00:14:31,871
I'd have just enough money
To buy you
275
00:14:31,939 --> 00:14:33,306
A sorely needed makeover.
276
00:14:34,874 --> 00:14:36,209
What?
277
00:14:36,276 --> 00:14:39,913
No, you didn't. No one talks
To baby girl like that.
278
00:14:39,980 --> 00:14:40,813
[baby girl]
Mm-hmm.
279
00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:42,082
Baby girl?
280
00:14:42,149 --> 00:14:43,917
Don't you mean
Baby huey girl?
281
00:14:43,984 --> 00:14:46,586
That's it!
282
00:14:46,653 --> 00:14:48,755
No! Wait, wait, wait.
283
00:14:48,821 --> 00:14:50,090
Wait, baby girl.
284
00:14:50,157 --> 00:14:52,192
Before you hurt him,
285
00:14:52,259 --> 00:14:56,196
Let's make him buy
His playground pass.
286
00:14:56,263 --> 00:14:58,932
My playground pass?
287
00:15:04,104 --> 00:15:05,905
I've been here
A hundred times before
288
00:15:05,973 --> 00:15:08,175
And I never needed
A playground pass.
289
00:15:08,241 --> 00:15:09,609
Well, we're here now,
290
00:15:09,676 --> 00:15:12,912
And you need a pass.
291
00:15:12,980 --> 00:15:14,414
Okay.
292
00:15:14,481 --> 00:15:15,715
How much?
293
00:15:15,782 --> 00:15:18,618
We want all
You got.
294
00:15:18,685 --> 00:15:20,420
But that's all
I got.
295
00:15:22,155 --> 00:15:24,024
Too bad,
Suspender boy.
296
00:15:24,091 --> 00:15:25,525
Ha ha ha ha ha!
297
00:15:25,592 --> 00:15:26,693
Ow! My nipples!
298
00:15:26,759 --> 00:15:28,128
Go on!
299
00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:30,230
Okay. Okay.
300
00:15:30,297 --> 00:15:32,532
You know,
How do you expect
To find a husband
301
00:15:32,599 --> 00:15:34,001
With manners like that?
302
00:15:34,067 --> 00:15:37,370
Of course,
That mustache ain't going to
Help you out much either.
303
00:15:39,106 --> 00:15:41,141
Look, give us your money
304
00:15:41,208 --> 00:15:43,510
Or we're going
To carve you
A third nostril.
305
00:15:43,576 --> 00:15:48,848
Okay, okay, okay.
I had hoped to avoid
Confrontation here.
306
00:15:48,915 --> 00:15:51,084
But you leave me
No choice.
307
00:15:51,151 --> 00:15:52,785
So, what'll it be--
308
00:15:52,852 --> 00:15:55,288
Rock paper scissors
Or down and dirty
Thumb wrestling?
309
00:15:55,355 --> 00:15:58,125
How about
Thumb breaking?
310
00:15:58,191 --> 00:16:00,994
Okay.
That does it.
311
00:16:08,801 --> 00:16:10,003
How you living, 3j?
312
00:16:10,070 --> 00:16:11,671
Got it going on.
You?
313
00:16:11,738 --> 00:16:14,741
Just making a withdrawal
From the bank of nerd.
314
00:16:16,309 --> 00:16:18,711
Well,
Do me a favor.
315
00:16:18,778 --> 00:16:19,412
Leave the toy alone.
316
00:16:19,479 --> 00:16:20,780
He's with me.
317
00:16:20,847 --> 00:16:21,948
What?
318
00:16:22,015 --> 00:16:23,116
That's right.
319
00:16:23,183 --> 00:16:25,318
I'm with him.
Good old 3j.
320
00:16:25,385 --> 00:16:28,255
My main bro guy
Homey there.
321
00:16:30,023 --> 00:16:32,092
We go back
Like a recliner.
322
00:16:32,159 --> 00:16:33,926
Who cares?
We still want
Your money.
323
00:16:33,993 --> 00:16:34,627
Yeah!
324
00:16:34,694 --> 00:16:35,595
Uhh!
325
00:16:35,662 --> 00:16:38,065
Okay, will you leave him
Alone for 50?
326
00:16:38,131 --> 00:16:39,366
For sure.
327
00:16:39,432 --> 00:16:41,368
50? 3j, no!
328
00:16:41,434 --> 00:16:42,335
Chill, urkie.
329
00:16:42,402 --> 00:16:44,271
It's not worth
The hassle.
330
00:16:47,940 --> 00:16:49,309
Thanks, 3j.
331
00:16:49,376 --> 00:16:50,910
Nice doing business
With you.
332
00:16:50,977 --> 00:16:52,579
Ha ha!
333
00:16:53,380 --> 00:16:55,014
[laughter]
334
00:16:57,850 --> 00:16:59,186
3j...
335
00:17:00,287 --> 00:17:01,754
I appreciate the help,
336
00:17:01,821 --> 00:17:03,090
But why did you give
337
00:17:03,156 --> 00:17:04,691
Those three hyenas
From the lion king
338
00:17:04,757 --> 00:17:06,459
All that money?
339
00:17:07,927 --> 00:17:10,263
Urkie,
I picked their pockets.
340
00:17:10,330 --> 00:17:13,100
That 50 bucks I gave them
Was their own money.
341
00:17:15,268 --> 00:17:17,637
Oh, you're good.
342
00:17:17,704 --> 00:17:19,005
That's bad...
343
00:17:19,072 --> 00:17:20,707
But you're good.
344
00:17:22,075 --> 00:17:24,344
What are you doing in
My neighborhood anyway?
345
00:17:24,411 --> 00:17:26,179
I'm still
Your big brother.
346
00:17:26,246 --> 00:17:29,015
And I want to teach you
How to read.
347
00:17:29,082 --> 00:17:31,884
I told you,
I already know
How to read.
348
00:17:31,951 --> 00:17:33,486
Oh, really?
349
00:17:35,288 --> 00:17:38,491
Then read this
Basketball card.
350
00:17:38,558 --> 00:17:39,592
Easy.
351
00:17:39,659 --> 00:17:40,493
"Michael jordan.
352
00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:42,529
"Number 23.
On the chicago bulls.
353
00:17:42,595 --> 00:17:44,797
Average points
Per game--32."
354
00:17:44,864 --> 00:17:49,802
Okay...Now read the company
That makes the card.
355
00:17:51,204 --> 00:17:54,574
Up-up-up...
356
00:17:54,641 --> 00:17:56,576
Upper deck.
357
00:18:02,249 --> 00:18:03,983
I can't read.
358
00:18:04,050 --> 00:18:05,685
I know.
359
00:18:05,752 --> 00:18:07,754
You memorized those stats.
360
00:18:07,820 --> 00:18:10,857
How'd you make it
All the way to fourth grade
361
00:18:10,923 --> 00:18:13,092
Without knowing how to read?
362
00:18:13,160 --> 00:18:15,262
It's called faking it.
363
00:18:15,328 --> 00:18:18,198
Yeah, but how do you read
The menu at mickey d's
364
00:18:18,265 --> 00:18:21,701
Or figure out
The instructions
To a video game?
365
00:18:21,768 --> 00:18:25,738
Or better yet,
How do you even know
What a street sign says?
366
00:18:25,805 --> 00:18:27,039
I ask somebody.
367
00:18:27,106 --> 00:18:29,108
I get by.
368
00:18:29,176 --> 00:18:31,578
3j, a kid
As smart as you
369
00:18:31,644 --> 00:18:34,614
Shouldn't have
To just get by.
370
00:18:34,681 --> 00:18:36,549
You can go far.
371
00:18:36,616 --> 00:18:40,687
And reading will take you
As far as your imagination
Can go.
372
00:18:40,753 --> 00:18:43,856
In one book, you could be
A fighter pilot
373
00:18:43,923 --> 00:18:45,492
With the tuskegee airmen.
374
00:18:45,558 --> 00:18:47,827
In another,
You could be a knight
375
00:18:47,894 --> 00:18:49,862
At king arthur's court.
376
00:18:49,929 --> 00:18:51,931
Or you could be a pirate
377
00:18:51,998 --> 00:18:55,468
Digging for buried treasure
With long john silver.
378
00:18:55,535 --> 00:18:58,405
[imitating long john silver]
Ah, you scurvy scum!
379
00:19:00,273 --> 00:19:02,475
Wow! You make it
Sound cool.
380
00:19:02,542 --> 00:19:05,111
Reading is cool.
381
00:19:05,178 --> 00:19:07,079
And I want to teach you.
382
00:19:07,146 --> 00:19:10,450
You won't bomb out on me
Like my other big brothers?
383
00:19:10,517 --> 00:19:11,651
No way!
384
00:19:11,718 --> 00:19:12,652
I keep my promises.
385
00:19:12,719 --> 00:19:14,454
I do what I say
And I say what I mean,
386
00:19:14,521 --> 00:19:18,658
And I mean what I say
When I mean
That I say I'll do it.
387
00:19:18,725 --> 00:19:21,361
You lost me, urkie.
388
00:19:21,428 --> 00:19:23,363
I won't bomb out on you.
389
00:19:23,430 --> 00:19:26,933
What do you say we start
First thing tomorrow?
390
00:19:26,999 --> 00:19:28,735
Deal.
Great.
391
00:19:28,801 --> 00:19:31,404
Now let's go grab
An ice cream cone.
392
00:19:31,471 --> 00:19:33,540
I'll read the flavors
To you.
393
00:19:33,606 --> 00:19:35,442
Wait...
394
00:19:35,508 --> 00:19:39,212
Your forgot your keys,
Steve.
395
00:19:46,253 --> 00:19:47,854
Hey,
I gave them back.
396
00:19:47,920 --> 00:19:49,856
Don't go crying on me.
397
00:19:49,922 --> 00:19:51,591
It's not that.
398
00:19:51,658 --> 00:19:53,960
I'm just touched
You called me steve.
399
00:20:13,280 --> 00:20:14,881
Hey, I know
What we could do.
400
00:20:14,947 --> 00:20:18,551
Let's sit in the car
And pretend we're
Helicopter pilots.
401
00:20:18,618 --> 00:20:22,555
Nah. How about
We take the car?
402
00:20:22,622 --> 00:20:25,392
Nah.
I don't take cars.
403
00:20:25,458 --> 00:20:26,926
I don't pretend.
404
00:20:33,300 --> 00:20:35,468
We can go at the park
And play soccer.
405
00:20:35,535 --> 00:20:38,838
We can go to the park
And bet on soccer.
406
00:20:38,905 --> 00:20:40,006
I don't bet.
407
00:20:40,072 --> 00:20:41,674
I don't play.
408
00:20:46,279 --> 00:20:47,780
Legos?
409
00:20:47,847 --> 00:20:49,849
Get a life.
410
00:20:56,289 --> 00:20:58,891
* *
*
411
00:20:58,958 --> 00:21:00,327
* *
*
412
00:21:10,403 --> 00:21:12,839
* *
*
* *
*
26881
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