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1
00:01:27,753 --> 00:01:33,753
Sync && corrections by XhmikosR
www.addic7ed.com
2
00:01:46,554 --> 00:01:48,122
Hey, there are the boys!
3
00:01:48,190 --> 00:01:49,156
- Hi.
- How's it goin'?
4
00:01:49,224 --> 00:01:51,505
Man, am I glad to see some
real flesh-and-blood humans.
5
00:01:51,526 --> 00:01:53,194
10 hours of sitting
alone on the couch
6
00:01:53,261 --> 00:01:54,929
can do strange things
to a man.
7
00:01:54,996 --> 00:01:56,530
- Right.
- Absolutely.
8
00:02:00,752 --> 00:02:01,686
I'm gonna grab a beer.
9
00:02:01,753 --> 00:02:03,521
Make a phone call.
10
00:02:05,407 --> 00:02:08,442
God, I love Friday afternoons.
11
00:02:08,510 --> 00:02:09,711
I feel like an artist
12
00:02:09,778 --> 00:02:11,738
and the weekend that lies
ahead, that's my canvas.
13
00:02:12,114 --> 00:02:14,098
- So, what've you got planned?
- A lot of naps.
14
00:02:14,124 --> 00:02:15,274
How about you?
15
00:02:15,317 --> 00:02:18,219
Actually, I told O'Boyle
I'd work a half day tomorrow.
16
00:02:18,286 --> 00:02:20,588
You volunteered to work
on a Saturday?
17
00:02:20,655 --> 00:02:23,224
Loser!
18
00:02:23,291 --> 00:02:24,859
Hey. Kelly's got
the kids this weekend,
19
00:02:24,927 --> 00:02:27,394
and going to work beats
sitting at home in my apartment
20
00:02:27,462 --> 00:02:30,297
listening to the echo of what
a family used to sound like.
21
00:02:31,850 --> 00:02:33,851
Loser.
22
00:02:33,918 --> 00:02:36,687
Anyway, I should get rolling.
23
00:02:38,189 --> 00:02:40,123
Hey.
24
00:02:40,191 --> 00:02:42,059
Deacon.
25
00:02:42,126 --> 00:02:44,778
- Hey, Carrie.
- Come here.
26
00:02:45,847 --> 00:02:47,781
Come on.
27
00:02:47,849 --> 00:02:49,783
Ah!
28
00:02:49,851 --> 00:02:52,519
Oh, yeah!
That's the good stuff.
29
00:02:52,588 --> 00:02:54,755
All right, get on out
of here, you big lug.
30
00:02:54,823 --> 00:02:55,756
Go on.
31
00:02:55,824 --> 00:02:57,157
Right, uh...
32
00:02:57,225 --> 00:02:59,060
See ya.
33
00:03:00,128 --> 00:03:02,162
Do you have to hit on him
right in front of me?
34
00:03:02,230 --> 00:03:03,230
Shh.
35
00:03:05,834 --> 00:03:07,969
- They're getting back together.
- Who?
36
00:03:08,036 --> 00:03:09,136
Who? Who do you think?
37
00:03:09,203 --> 00:03:11,105
Van Halen?
38
00:03:11,173 --> 00:03:13,624
Deacon and Kelly.
39
00:03:15,944 --> 00:03:16,844
Because he doesn't
know about it yet.
40
00:03:16,912 --> 00:03:18,795
I just had lunch
with Kelly in the city,
41
00:03:18,863 --> 00:03:20,264
and she said she's done
finding herself,
42
00:03:20,332 --> 00:03:22,133
learning who Kelly is,
blah, blah, blah,
43
00:03:22,200 --> 00:03:23,667
and she is ready to come home,
44
00:03:23,735 --> 00:03:25,619
so when she drops the
kids off Sunday night,
45
00:03:25,687 --> 00:03:27,838
she's gonna tell him
she wants to stay.
46
00:03:27,906 --> 00:03:28,839
My god.
That's great.
47
00:03:28,907 --> 00:03:30,441
Great? Come on!
It's fantastic!
48
00:03:30,509 --> 00:03:33,777
It is! They finally get
their family back together.
49
00:03:33,845 --> 00:03:34,725
Man, seeing those kids
50
00:03:34,830 --> 00:03:37,731
pack up their little underoos
every weekend, that was rough.
51
00:03:37,799 --> 00:03:39,719
Yeah. You know who had it rough?
You and me, pal.
52
00:03:39,751 --> 00:03:42,119
Hanging out with all those
other couples the last 2 years.
53
00:03:42,187 --> 00:03:44,021
I hated one
more than the next.
54
00:03:44,089 --> 00:03:45,540
Remember the Pernworths?
55
00:03:45,591 --> 00:03:47,959
Oh. "Doug, wanna see
my radio-controlled boat?"
56
00:03:48,026 --> 00:03:50,061
Bbblttt! No!
57
00:03:50,128 --> 00:03:52,063
No!
58
00:03:52,130 --> 00:03:53,698
God.
59
00:03:53,765 --> 00:03:55,666
So, why is Kelly waiting
till Sunday night to tell him?
60
00:03:55,734 --> 00:03:58,970
She's gotta take the kids
to visit her mother upstate.
61
00:04:00,372 --> 00:04:02,539
Maybe I should go over there
and tell him myself.
62
00:04:02,607 --> 00:04:05,526
- What?! You can't do that.
- Why not?
63
00:04:05,593 --> 00:04:06,794
Because it's between
Deacon and Kelly.
64
00:04:06,861 --> 00:04:08,663
It's a private thing.
65
00:04:08,730 --> 00:04:10,498
Meanwhile, Deacon's gotta be
miserable for the whole weekend?
66
00:04:10,566 --> 00:04:11,899
It's 2 days.
67
00:04:11,966 --> 00:04:13,867
Let me paint
a picture for you, OK?
68
00:04:13,935 --> 00:04:15,769
Tonight he's lonely.
69
00:04:15,837 --> 00:04:18,272
He drinks himself to sleep
holding a lit cigarette.
70
00:04:18,340 --> 00:04:20,741
He wakes up
in the morning dead!
71
00:04:20,809 --> 00:04:23,494
He doesn't drink or smoke.
72
00:04:23,561 --> 00:04:25,529
Ah, OK.
But he shaves, right?
73
00:04:25,597 --> 00:04:27,431
So he's crying while he's
shaving.
74
00:04:27,499 --> 00:04:29,233
Then cuts his throat!
Dead!
75
00:04:29,300 --> 00:04:31,201
That's not gonna happen.
76
00:04:31,269 --> 00:04:32,202
He's eating a sandwich--
77
00:04:32,270 --> 00:04:33,838
Doug!
78
00:04:33,905 --> 00:04:36,007
Carrie, I'm serious.
Look, I mean...
79
00:04:36,074 --> 00:04:37,942
The guy's been a wreck, OK?
80
00:04:38,010 --> 00:04:39,243
We got a chance
to help him out here.
81
00:04:39,310 --> 00:04:40,745
Why let him suffer?
82
00:04:42,580 --> 00:04:44,465
All right.
You know what?
83
00:04:44,533 --> 00:04:47,134
You wanna go tell your friend
the good news, go tell him.
84
00:04:47,202 --> 00:04:48,436
All right.
85
00:04:48,503 --> 00:04:51,204
I'll do it tomorrow.
Traffic's brutal right now.
86
00:04:57,663 --> 00:04:58,796
Coming.
87
00:04:59,931 --> 00:05:01,031
Howdy-doo!
88
00:05:01,099 --> 00:05:02,266
Hey, man.
What you doin' here?
89
00:05:02,334 --> 00:05:03,434
Just doin' the
Saturday errands.
90
00:05:03,502 --> 00:05:06,103
Thought I'd come over here, see
if I could lift your spirits.
91
00:05:08,840 --> 00:05:12,576
Although your spirits
seem pretty lifted.
92
00:05:12,643 --> 00:05:15,179
Yup. Got a little company
coming over in a few minutes.
93
00:05:15,247 --> 00:05:16,480
Oh, yeah? Who?
94
00:05:16,548 --> 00:05:18,082
Oh, you're not
gonna believe it, man.
95
00:05:18,150 --> 00:05:19,450
This morning I had a pickup
96
00:05:19,517 --> 00:05:20,952
at the airport
Marriott, right?
97
00:05:21,019 --> 00:05:22,653
So I'm standing
in the lobby, waiting,
98
00:05:22,721 --> 00:05:25,556
and I glance over,
and there, checking in,
99
00:05:25,623 --> 00:05:28,759
smiling at me, is this
crazy hot stewardess.
100
00:05:28,827 --> 00:05:31,278
So we start talking. You
know, whatever, whatever.
101
00:05:31,346 --> 00:05:32,379
And she's, like,
102
00:05:32,447 --> 00:05:34,582
"Oh, I just got transferred
to the European route.
103
00:05:34,649 --> 00:05:35,682
"I'm going to London tomorrow
104
00:05:35,750 --> 00:05:36,917
and I won't be back
for at least a year."
105
00:05:36,985 --> 00:05:40,821
And I'm, like,
"That's cool. That's cool.
106
00:05:40,888 --> 00:05:42,523
So, uh, how you gonna
spend your last day here?"
107
00:05:42,657 --> 00:05:44,241
And she says--
get this--
108
00:05:44,308 --> 00:05:46,176
"Any suggestions?"
109
00:05:46,244 --> 00:05:48,679
Ha ha ha!
110
00:05:48,747 --> 00:05:51,432
I mean, I'm in
my delivery uniform,
111
00:05:51,500 --> 00:05:53,434
she's in
her stewardess uniform.
112
00:05:53,502 --> 00:05:56,670
It was like
the first scene in a porno.
113
00:05:56,738 --> 00:05:59,506
So, long story short,
114
00:05:59,574 --> 00:06:01,492
we're going to the Met game
this afternoon,
115
00:06:01,559 --> 00:06:03,460
and then afterwards
she's cooking me dinner
116
00:06:03,528 --> 00:06:05,396
here, in my apartment.
117
00:06:05,463 --> 00:06:09,667
It's on, baby!
Ha ha ha ha!
118
00:06:11,385 --> 00:06:12,920
Huh!
119
00:06:12,955 --> 00:06:14,788
It's--it's wild, Doug.
120
00:06:14,856 --> 00:06:16,073
I've been through such hell,
121
00:06:16,141 --> 00:06:17,758
and then today,
out of nowhere,
122
00:06:17,826 --> 00:06:20,877
a little somethin'- somethin'
from the man upstairs.
123
00:06:20,945 --> 00:06:22,663
And this
somethin'- somethin'
124
00:06:22,730 --> 00:06:25,232
is definitely leavin'
the country tomorrow?
125
00:06:25,300 --> 00:06:26,367
Yeah. Why?
126
00:06:26,434 --> 00:06:28,219
Ooh. Bye.
127
00:06:33,875 --> 00:06:35,059
How'd it go?
128
00:06:35,127 --> 00:06:37,395
Great. Stopped off
at the Walgreen's,
129
00:06:37,462 --> 00:06:38,796
and you'll be happy to know
130
00:06:38,863 --> 00:06:42,166
somebody's nose hairs
will not survive the night.
131
00:06:42,234 --> 00:06:43,984
No, how'd it go at Deacon's?
132
00:06:44,052 --> 00:06:45,085
Oh, that.
133
00:06:45,153 --> 00:06:47,939
Uh, I decided not
to tell him after all.
134
00:06:48,006 --> 00:06:49,673
You didn't tell him?
135
00:06:49,741 --> 00:06:51,208
Nah.
136
00:06:51,276 --> 00:06:54,578
All right, I need some kind
of cheese to step forward.
137
00:06:54,646 --> 00:06:55,845
Well, what happened?
138
00:06:55,913 --> 00:06:56,993
Why'd you change your mind?
139
00:06:57,014 --> 00:06:58,115
I don't know.
140
00:06:58,183 --> 00:06:59,983
I was thinking about
what you said, you know,
141
00:07:00,051 --> 00:07:01,851
about how it's really
Kelly's place to tell him.
142
00:07:01,919 --> 00:07:03,087
That was quite persuasive.
143
00:07:03,154 --> 00:07:06,690
Sometimes your shrill tone
masks a very good point.
144
00:07:06,757 --> 00:07:08,725
Doug, I just got off
the phone with Kelly,
145
00:07:08,793 --> 00:07:09,743
and she liked
the idea of, you know,
146
00:07:09,811 --> 00:07:12,913
you going over there
and setting the table for her.
147
00:07:12,981 --> 00:07:15,249
All righty, then
I'll set a kick-ass table
148
00:07:15,317 --> 00:07:16,567
first thing tomorrow morning.
149
00:07:16,634 --> 00:07:19,019
Doug, come on.
I don't understand.
150
00:07:19,087 --> 00:07:20,221
Why'd you change your mind?
151
00:07:20,288 --> 00:07:21,355
You're the one who
didn't want your friend
152
00:07:21,422 --> 00:07:23,057
to be miserable all weekend.
153
00:07:23,124 --> 00:07:25,393
- He's hangin' in there.
- Doug!
154
00:07:28,096 --> 00:07:30,714
- Hey! Me again.
- Hey, what's goin' on?
155
00:07:30,782 --> 00:07:31,982
You got a sec
'cause, uh, actually,
156
00:07:32,049 --> 00:07:33,517
I do want to talk
to you after all.
157
00:07:33,585 --> 00:07:35,152
OK, I think we're
getting food at the game
158
00:07:35,220 --> 00:07:38,422
'cause that lunch meat in your
fridge has seen better days.
159
00:07:38,490 --> 00:07:40,191
Oh, hi.
160
00:07:43,311 --> 00:07:44,878
All right.
161
00:07:50,635 --> 00:07:52,269
Ah, Douglas,
just the man I want to see.
162
00:07:52,337 --> 00:07:54,705
Perhaps you could help me
finish up my crossword puzzle.
163
00:07:54,772 --> 00:07:57,073
Not right now, Arthur.
164
00:07:57,141 --> 00:07:58,792
But I'm tantalizingly close.
165
00:07:58,860 --> 00:08:03,413
The final clue is "I dream
of Jeannie star Larry Blank."
166
00:08:04,966 --> 00:08:06,217
Hagman.
167
00:08:06,284 --> 00:08:07,551
That's what I thought,
but apparently
168
00:08:07,619 --> 00:08:11,872
the first 3 letters
are b, x, x.
169
00:08:13,058 --> 00:08:14,291
Anything?
170
00:08:14,359 --> 00:08:16,927
Will you please-I-I got
something on my mind here.
171
00:08:16,994 --> 00:08:20,547
Then don't you think you
should talk about it, son?
172
00:08:20,615 --> 00:08:22,682
Maybe you're right.
173
00:08:22,751 --> 00:08:24,051
You got a second?
174
00:08:24,119 --> 00:08:25,585
Of course.
175
00:08:25,653 --> 00:08:28,388
- Today I was over at--
- Time's up!
176
00:08:28,456 --> 00:08:29,823
Marvelous gag, isn't it?
177
00:08:29,891 --> 00:08:32,092
Learned that from
an old army buddy.
178
00:08:34,362 --> 00:08:36,146
Anyway...
179
00:08:36,214 --> 00:08:40,150
You know Deacon and Kelly have been
separated for a couple years now, right?
180
00:08:40,218 --> 00:08:42,052
Well, Kelly's finally ready
to get back together,
181
00:08:42,120 --> 00:08:43,253
but Deacon
doesn't know that yet.
182
00:08:43,321 --> 00:08:45,522
And I went over there today
to tell him that,
183
00:08:45,590 --> 00:08:47,341
but... I didn't.
184
00:08:47,408 --> 00:08:49,243
Why not?
185
00:08:49,310 --> 00:08:50,777
Well...
186
00:08:50,845 --> 00:08:51,878
Don't say anything to Carrie,
187
00:08:51,946 --> 00:08:53,413
but it turns out Deacon
met this stewardess
188
00:08:53,481 --> 00:08:55,201
who's leaving the country
for good tomorrow,
189
00:08:55,250 --> 00:09:01,088
and he's got a chance to, you
know, be with her tonight.
190
00:09:01,156 --> 00:09:06,177
Suddenly this story turns
erotic and fascinating.
191
00:09:08,547 --> 00:09:10,281
So I figured after
all he's been through,
192
00:09:10,348 --> 00:09:11,548
he deserves a night like that.
193
00:09:11,550 --> 00:09:13,584
But if I tell him
about Kelly coming back,
194
00:09:13,651 --> 00:09:15,319
he's gonna feel too guilty
to go through with it.
195
00:09:15,387 --> 00:09:16,653
So I didn't say anything.
196
00:09:16,721 --> 00:09:18,222
But now I'm just struggling
with whether or not
197
00:09:18,290 --> 00:09:19,390
I made the right decision.
198
00:09:19,458 --> 00:09:20,457
What do you think?
199
00:09:22,861 --> 00:09:26,547
The girl's
a stewardess, you say?
200
00:09:26,615 --> 00:09:28,682
Yes, and smoking hot.
201
00:09:28,750 --> 00:09:30,617
Aren't they all?
202
00:09:30,685 --> 00:09:33,303
Not really, no.
203
00:09:33,371 --> 00:09:35,205
Well, fret not, my boy.
204
00:09:35,273 --> 00:09:37,708
Your instincts were
right on the money.
205
00:09:37,775 --> 00:09:39,376
- You think so?
- Absolutely.
206
00:09:39,444 --> 00:09:40,544
If Deacon is in the dark
207
00:09:40,612 --> 00:09:42,779
about his wife's
desire to reconcile,
208
00:09:42,847 --> 00:09:44,848
there are no moral
chains around him.
209
00:09:44,915 --> 00:09:49,883
He's free to frolic with a sensuous
stranger tonight and rekindle
210
00:09:50,087 --> 00:09:51,755
the flames of
matrimony tomorrow.
211
00:09:51,822 --> 00:09:56,493
As long as he changes his sheets,
it's a fairy tale ending!
212
00:09:56,561 --> 00:09:57,828
Thanks, Arthur.
213
00:09:57,896 --> 00:09:59,416
That really makes me
feel a lot better.
214
00:09:59,464 --> 00:10:01,064
That's what I do!
215
00:10:07,989 --> 00:10:09,924
- Hello, darling.
- Hi, daddy.
216
00:10:09,991 --> 00:10:11,458
Ooh, a pink box.
217
00:10:11,526 --> 00:10:14,862
Are we being treated to
some delicious baked goods?
218
00:10:14,930 --> 00:10:17,364
No. Sorry. It's a cake
for Deacon and Kelly.
219
00:10:17,432 --> 00:10:18,966
I wanted to get them
a little something
220
00:10:19,034 --> 00:10:20,233
for getting back together.
221
00:10:20,301 --> 00:10:21,869
Had them spell out "true love"
222
00:10:21,937 --> 00:10:23,403
in those little candy hearts.
223
00:10:23,471 --> 00:10:24,638
Kind of silly, eh?
224
00:10:28,310 --> 00:10:31,445
Oh, god!
I'm a monster!
225
00:10:33,431 --> 00:10:34,832
Huh?
226
00:10:34,899 --> 00:10:36,466
I'm an accomplice
to something terrible.
227
00:10:36,534 --> 00:10:38,601
I should just paint
a Scarlet "a" on myself.
228
00:10:38,669 --> 00:10:40,470
"A" for adultery!
229
00:10:42,273 --> 00:10:44,541
Then after
this incident passes,
230
00:10:44,608 --> 00:10:47,311
I suppose it could
stand for Arthur.
231
00:10:47,378 --> 00:10:49,612
That worked out well.
232
00:11:02,143 --> 00:11:03,076
Hi, honey.
233
00:11:03,144 --> 00:11:04,661
Hi.
234
00:11:04,729 --> 00:11:06,012
Whatcha doing?
235
00:11:06,080 --> 00:11:08,248
Just watching the Met game.
236
00:11:08,316 --> 00:11:09,816
Oh. Can I
get you anything?
237
00:11:09,884 --> 00:11:14,622
Coffee, tea, maybe a
complimentary headset?
238
00:11:20,612 --> 00:11:22,046
Uh-oh.
239
00:11:22,113 --> 00:11:23,047
Yeah.
240
00:11:23,114 --> 00:11:26,733
I heard about the stewardess,
and you're gonna wish your exits
241
00:11:26,801 --> 00:11:31,905
were here and here,
'cause I'm about to kick your ass.
242
00:11:31,973 --> 00:11:34,942
- That's funny.
- Ow! What is wrong with you?!
243
00:11:35,009 --> 00:11:37,344
Arthur!
244
00:11:37,411 --> 00:11:40,347
Oh, don't blame him.
This isn't his fault.
245
00:11:40,414 --> 00:11:41,414
Why did he even tell you?
246
00:11:41,415 --> 00:11:42,950
An hour ago,
he agreed with me.
247
00:11:43,017 --> 00:11:45,853
Because, as you pointed out
many times, he's insane.
248
00:11:45,920 --> 00:11:49,122
But at least he has a shred
of decency in him, unlike you.
249
00:11:49,190 --> 00:11:50,290
Will you let me explain?
250
00:11:50,358 --> 00:11:52,292
Please explain to me
how you casually decided
251
00:11:52,360 --> 00:11:55,195
to help your best friend
cheat on his wife.
252
00:11:55,262 --> 00:11:58,198
First of all, it wasn't casual.
It was a very difficult decision.
253
00:11:58,265 --> 00:11:59,583
Oh, I'm glad you chewed on it
254
00:11:59,650 --> 00:12:02,086
before you came down
on the side of adultery.
255
00:12:02,153 --> 00:12:05,171
Second of all, it's not adultery,
because they're not back together.
256
00:12:05,239 --> 00:12:07,090
She's coming back.
He wants her back.
257
00:12:07,158 --> 00:12:09,793
So basically,
they are back together.
258
00:12:09,861 --> 00:12:11,094
But they're not
actually back together
259
00:12:11,162 --> 00:12:12,963
until Deacon knows
they're back together,
260
00:12:13,031 --> 00:12:15,532
which is supposed to
happen Sunday night.
261
00:12:15,600 --> 00:12:17,801
Just because we found out in
advance doesn't give us the right
262
00:12:17,869 --> 00:12:20,704
to travel back in time
and change their destiny.
263
00:12:20,772 --> 00:12:23,239
Carrie, you don't mess
with the fabric of time.
264
00:12:23,307 --> 00:12:27,694
If there's one thing we learned
in Back to the Future, it's that.
265
00:12:30,148 --> 00:12:32,949
This is your explanation?!
266
00:12:33,017 --> 00:12:33,984
You rang, Douglas?
267
00:12:34,051 --> 00:12:35,185
Nothing. Forget it.
268
00:12:35,253 --> 00:12:36,286
While I'm up here,
269
00:12:36,354 --> 00:12:38,915
maybe we can put our heads together
and finish up this crossword.
270
00:12:38,957 --> 00:12:40,390
Get out!
271
00:12:42,560 --> 00:12:44,160
Who are you calling?
272
00:12:44,228 --> 00:12:45,462
I'm not calling anybody.
273
00:12:45,529 --> 00:12:49,196
You're calling Deacon to stop this
unholy thing before it happens.
274
00:12:49,400 --> 00:12:50,968
He's not home.
They're at the Met game.
275
00:12:51,035 --> 00:12:53,203
Oh, so that's why you
were watching the Met game,
276
00:12:53,270 --> 00:12:55,639
to spy on your handiwork.
277
00:12:55,707 --> 00:12:57,074
You got it. Yeah.
It's a deep fly ball,
278
00:12:57,141 --> 00:13:00,927
way back, sailing high over the
couple humping in the bleachers.
279
00:13:00,995 --> 00:13:04,682
You know what? You are going
over there after the game.
280
00:13:04,749 --> 00:13:06,417
No, I am not.
281
00:13:06,484 --> 00:13:07,884
Doug, I don't understand you.
282
00:13:07,952 --> 00:13:09,119
What's going on with you?
283
00:13:09,187 --> 00:13:10,821
You could be destroying
a marriage here.
284
00:13:10,888 --> 00:13:12,088
It's not gonna
hurt the marriage.
285
00:13:12,156 --> 00:13:14,325
She's leaving the
country for good tomorrow.
286
00:13:14,392 --> 00:13:16,944
She'll be out of Deacon's life
before Kelly walks back in.
287
00:13:17,011 --> 00:13:19,179
We don't have the right
to travel back in time--
288
00:13:19,247 --> 00:13:20,247
Will you stop
with that already?
289
00:13:20,315 --> 00:13:22,749
There's no time travel
involved here, OK?
290
00:13:22,817 --> 00:13:24,084
Just have the guts to admit
291
00:13:24,151 --> 00:13:28,121
that this is about you wanting your
best friend to bang a stewardess.
292
00:13:28,189 --> 00:13:30,624
Fine. I admit it.
293
00:13:30,692 --> 00:13:32,226
After what Kelly's
put him through,
294
00:13:32,293 --> 00:13:34,027
I think he deserves
this, and you know what?
295
00:13:34,095 --> 00:13:36,563
Letting it happen
is my gift to him.
296
00:13:36,631 --> 00:13:37,711
This is your idea of a gift?
297
00:13:37,748 --> 00:13:40,717
Yeah. A gift to celebrate the
end of a horrible 2 years.
298
00:13:40,785 --> 00:13:44,371
Did you get him a gift?
No.
299
00:13:44,439 --> 00:13:47,740
OK, so Deacon getting his
wife back, his kids,
300
00:13:47,808 --> 00:13:48,942
that's not enough of a gift.
301
00:13:49,009 --> 00:13:51,010
He needs more
of a gift than that.
302
00:13:51,079 --> 00:13:52,359
They're different
kinds of gifts.
303
00:13:52,413 --> 00:13:53,897
That's why you get more
than one gift for Christmas.
304
00:13:53,965 --> 00:13:57,266
For god's sake, Carrie, Jewish
people give 8 gifts for Hanukkah.
305
00:13:57,334 --> 00:13:59,185
Oh, OK. So according
to your logic,
306
00:13:59,253 --> 00:14:03,657
would it be OK if Deacon slept
with 7 other women tonight?
307
00:14:03,724 --> 00:14:07,194
No, 'cause he's not Jewish.
308
00:14:07,261 --> 00:14:11,548
The stupidest conversation
I've ever had.
309
00:14:11,615 --> 00:14:13,183
No. The stupidest
conversation I've ever had,
310
00:14:13,251 --> 00:14:16,920
and besides, Kelly's been with a
million guys since she left him.
311
00:14:16,987 --> 00:14:19,072
Excuse me. She's been
with exactly 2 guys,
312
00:14:19,140 --> 00:14:20,808
and she only slept
with one of them.
313
00:14:20,875 --> 00:14:22,709
He was an orthodontist.
314
00:14:22,777 --> 00:14:25,529
What the hell does that
have to do with anything?
315
00:14:25,597 --> 00:14:27,614
Just that she regretted it.
It was weird.
316
00:14:27,682 --> 00:14:29,415
The guy cried or something.
I don't know.
317
00:14:29,483 --> 00:14:31,267
The point is that
when that happened,
318
00:14:31,335 --> 00:14:33,369
she didn't know what
was gonna happen
319
00:14:33,437 --> 00:14:34,821
with her and Deacon, OK?
320
00:14:34,888 --> 00:14:37,324
Today is the day before
they're getting back together.
321
00:14:37,391 --> 00:14:41,310
So if the sex goes past midnight,
it'll be the same day.
322
00:14:41,378 --> 00:14:43,630
The sex probably
won't go past midnight.
323
00:14:43,698 --> 00:14:44,731
Don't be so sure.
324
00:14:44,799 --> 00:14:45,966
Some people can
actually pull that off.
325
00:14:46,034 --> 00:14:48,435
Oh, I see all the guns
are out now!
326
00:14:48,502 --> 00:14:50,737
You can insult me
all you want.
327
00:14:50,805 --> 00:14:52,539
I'm still not going over
there and telling him.
328
00:14:52,606 --> 00:14:54,774
I'm just not.
329
00:14:54,843 --> 00:14:55,992
All right.
330
00:14:56,060 --> 00:14:58,028
Look, Doug, OK.
331
00:14:58,095 --> 00:15:01,197
I admit that Deacon being
with this girl tonight
332
00:15:01,265 --> 00:15:03,132
probably won't destroy
their marriage,
333
00:15:03,200 --> 00:15:07,103
and, yes, maybe in some way,
he probably does deserve it.
334
00:15:07,171 --> 00:15:12,693
But I just feel like not telling
Deacon about Kelly is just wrong.
335
00:15:12,760 --> 00:15:17,380
Honey, it's wrong, and I know in
your heart you know that, too.
336
00:15:19,834 --> 00:15:21,234
I don't know. Maybe.
337
00:15:21,302 --> 00:15:22,235
Come on, honey.
338
00:15:22,303 --> 00:15:24,771
After the game,
we'll go over there,
339
00:15:24,839 --> 00:15:27,975
and we'll tell him, all right?
340
00:15:30,144 --> 00:15:31,177
All right, fine.
341
00:15:31,245 --> 00:15:33,814
OK, good.
I'll bet he thanks you.
342
00:15:33,882 --> 00:15:36,467
Oh, yeah. I expect to get
a very hearty handshake.
343
00:15:36,534 --> 00:15:37,568
When's the game over?
344
00:15:37,635 --> 00:15:39,870
I don't know.
A couple hours at least.
345
00:15:39,938 --> 00:15:41,238
Doug?
346
00:15:41,306 --> 00:15:42,806
What?
347
00:15:42,873 --> 00:15:44,474
It's raining.
348
00:15:44,542 --> 00:15:45,508
So?
349
00:15:45,576 --> 00:15:48,678
It's raining!
350
00:15:48,746 --> 00:15:51,915
There's an Abbott
and Costello movie on.
351
00:15:51,983 --> 00:15:54,517
"Due to today's rain,
352
00:15:54,585 --> 00:15:56,745
the game will be completed
tomorrow as a doubleheader."
353
00:15:56,754 --> 00:15:58,805
Oh, my god! They're probably
at his apartment right now.
354
00:15:58,873 --> 00:16:02,042
She's probably unpinning her
little wings as we speak.
355
00:16:05,780 --> 00:16:07,681
He doesn't even realize the
mummy's right behind him.
356
00:16:07,749 --> 00:16:08,681
Doug!
357
00:16:15,056 --> 00:16:16,356
I hope we're not too late.
358
00:16:16,423 --> 00:16:19,526
Yeah, me, too.
359
00:16:22,697 --> 00:16:24,897
Can you hear the
doorbell from the bedroom?
360
00:16:24,965 --> 00:16:28,168
I don't know.
361
00:16:28,235 --> 00:16:29,619
Well, what do you think?
362
00:16:29,687 --> 00:16:33,589
I don't know. It's been a while
since we had a slumber party.
363
00:16:33,657 --> 00:16:35,141
All right, just use your key.
364
00:16:35,209 --> 00:16:37,611
- I don't have a key.
- Oh, don't give me that.
365
00:16:37,679 --> 00:16:41,248
I know you guys swapped house
keys, like, 5 years ago.
366
00:16:41,316 --> 00:16:42,833
Oh, right.
367
00:16:42,900 --> 00:16:45,569
My "please burst in if I'm
ever nailing a stewardess" key.
368
00:16:45,636 --> 00:16:48,104
- Right.
- Just open it.
369
00:16:56,280 --> 00:16:58,315
I don't think they're here.
370
00:16:58,382 --> 00:17:02,085
Do you think they're in the
bedroom, you know, doing it?
371
00:17:02,152 --> 00:17:04,054
How the hell should I know?
372
00:17:04,221 --> 00:17:05,806
Check it out!
373
00:17:11,562 --> 00:17:12,629
Doug.
374
00:17:14,615 --> 00:17:17,034
Hello?
375
00:17:17,101 --> 00:17:18,268
Deac?
376
00:17:18,335 --> 00:17:20,887
Hot stewardess?
377
00:17:20,955 --> 00:17:22,289
Ha ha ha!
I'm sorry.
378
00:17:22,356 --> 00:17:25,192
But I've never seen anyone run
so fast from a little rain.
379
00:17:25,259 --> 00:17:28,929
This shirt is suede.
It's $60, baby.
380
00:17:28,996 --> 00:17:33,666
Actually, I'm not sorry
the game got rained out.
381
00:17:33,734 --> 00:17:38,088
Gives us more time for dinner
and whatnot.
382
00:17:38,155 --> 00:17:39,906
I like the sound of whatnot.
383
00:17:39,974 --> 00:17:42,475
Ha ha ha.
384
00:17:42,543 --> 00:17:43,944
How's it going?
385
00:17:49,283 --> 00:17:51,134
What were you doing in there?
386
00:17:51,202 --> 00:17:53,153
I heard that the Met
game got rained out,
387
00:17:53,221 --> 00:17:57,924
so I came over here
to close your windows.
388
00:17:57,942 --> 00:18:01,194
OK, once again, what
were you doing in there?
389
00:18:01,262 --> 00:18:05,949
Actually, I need to talk
to you a second alone.
390
00:18:06,016 --> 00:18:07,768
Why don't I just wait inside?
391
00:18:07,835 --> 00:18:09,302
Thanks.
392
00:18:09,370 --> 00:18:11,271
Don't be scared.
393
00:18:11,338 --> 00:18:14,240
The white woman coming out of
the bathroom will be my wife.
394
00:18:14,308 --> 00:18:15,241
Right.
395
00:18:15,309 --> 00:18:16,242
OK.
396
00:18:18,813 --> 00:18:21,581
Hi. I'm Melanie.
397
00:18:21,649 --> 00:18:23,449
Wow.
398
00:18:24,886 --> 00:18:25,986
So that's pretty much it.
399
00:18:26,054 --> 00:18:27,253
Kelly's coming back tomorrow.
400
00:18:27,321 --> 00:18:30,757
She loves you, and she
wants to stay married.
401
00:18:30,825 --> 00:18:33,326
Yeah, that's it. That's
the whole deal right there.
402
00:18:33,394 --> 00:18:34,928
Great news, huh, Deac?
403
00:18:36,814 --> 00:18:38,348
Deac, you there, buddy?
404
00:18:42,920 --> 00:18:45,972
I love my wife.
405
00:18:46,039 --> 00:18:48,692
The fact that she's coming
back is the best news
406
00:18:48,759 --> 00:18:51,945
I could ever hope to get.
407
00:18:52,012 --> 00:18:53,613
That being said,
408
00:18:53,680 --> 00:18:59,836
you realize you told me at the
worst possible time, don't you?
409
00:18:59,903 --> 00:19:01,171
Yes. Yes, I do.
410
00:19:01,338 --> 00:19:02,488
Then why the hell
did you tell me now?!
411
00:19:02,556 --> 00:19:04,207
I'm sorry. Carrie made me.
412
00:19:04,275 --> 00:19:05,292
The only worse time
you could've picked
413
00:19:05,359 --> 00:19:06,293
is if you waited
another half hour
414
00:19:06,360 --> 00:19:07,994
and popped out from
under the covers.
415
00:19:08,062 --> 00:19:09,296
I fought for you!
416
00:19:09,363 --> 00:19:10,363
I fought for you,
417
00:19:10,431 --> 00:19:13,700
and I told her you've been through
hell and you deserve this,
418
00:19:13,768 --> 00:19:15,969
and then she said some stuff,
and here we are.
419
00:19:16,037 --> 00:19:17,737
Oh, man.
420
00:19:17,805 --> 00:19:19,439
So what are you gonna do?
421
00:19:19,507 --> 00:19:20,807
I don't know. I can't
even think straight.
422
00:19:20,874 --> 00:19:22,309
In my mind,
I'm seeing my family
423
00:19:22,376 --> 00:19:23,810
all back together
for Christmas,
424
00:19:23,877 --> 00:19:24,877
except instead of a tree,
425
00:19:24,912 --> 00:19:27,480
we're decorating
a naked stewardess.
426
00:19:27,548 --> 00:19:30,766
Deac, that is
a million-dollar idea.
427
00:19:34,438 --> 00:19:36,223
Hey.
428
00:19:36,290 --> 00:19:38,258
Did you guys have your talk?
429
00:19:38,326 --> 00:19:39,576
Yeah.
430
00:19:39,644 --> 00:19:41,227
Oh.
431
00:19:41,295 --> 00:19:42,979
Oh, what?
432
00:19:43,047 --> 00:19:44,898
Nothing. I was just
in there with Melanie,
433
00:19:44,966 --> 00:19:49,869
and, uh, she ain't ugly,
that's for darn tootin'.
434
00:19:49,971 --> 00:19:51,170
What are you saying?
I shouldn't have told him?
435
00:19:51,238 --> 00:19:52,371
No, no. You did
the right thing.
436
00:19:52,440 --> 00:19:54,591
Definitely. You definitely
did the right thing,
437
00:19:54,658 --> 00:19:57,827
although she
could not be nicer.
438
00:19:57,895 --> 00:20:00,413
She actually gave me some
free coupons for an upgrade.
439
00:20:00,480 --> 00:20:01,848
What the hell
is she doing to me?
440
00:20:01,916 --> 00:20:03,183
I don't know. What the
hell are you doing to him?!
441
00:20:03,251 --> 00:20:05,185
Nothing, nothing, nothing.
442
00:20:05,253 --> 00:20:06,403
I'm just thinking.
443
00:20:06,470 --> 00:20:08,788
They still are
technically separated,
444
00:20:08,856 --> 00:20:11,357
and Kelly did have her thing
with the orthodontist.
445
00:20:11,425 --> 00:20:13,043
She slept with Dr. Gottleib?!
446
00:20:13,110 --> 00:20:15,745
Kind of. It was
not a big deal.
447
00:20:15,813 --> 00:20:17,329
Listen, Deacon,
you're an adult.
448
00:20:17,364 --> 00:20:18,631
You're capable of making
your own decisions.
449
00:20:18,699 --> 00:20:19,632
We should
have never interfered.
450
00:20:19,700 --> 00:20:20,934
Just do what feels right, OK?
451
00:20:21,002 --> 00:20:22,368
Come on, babe.
452
00:20:23,838 --> 00:20:26,522
We were never here.
453
00:20:26,590 --> 00:20:29,459
The last 5 minutes
never happened.
454
00:20:29,527 --> 00:20:31,043
You're just getting back
from the Met game.
455
00:20:31,111 --> 00:20:32,795
The Mets won.
456
00:20:32,847 --> 00:20:36,016
You've got a beautiful woman in
your apartment waiting for you.
457
00:20:36,083 --> 00:20:37,300
And go.
458
00:20:52,316 --> 00:20:54,817
Oh, are these your kids?
459
00:20:54,885 --> 00:20:57,253
They're adorable.
460
00:20:59,540 --> 00:21:00,924
Aw, crap.
461
00:21:08,199 --> 00:21:10,400
You know, Deacon, I actually
think this time apart
462
00:21:10,468 --> 00:21:13,102
was the best possible
thing for us, don't you?
463
00:21:13,170 --> 00:21:15,905
We both got out there
and got to live a little.
464
00:21:15,973 --> 00:21:19,092
I had my experiences,
you had yours.
465
00:21:20,727 --> 00:21:21,928
By the way, can you take Kirby
466
00:21:21,995 --> 00:21:25,231
to his appointment at Dr.
Gottleib's on Thursday?
467
00:21:29,636 --> 00:21:31,754
We're gonna need a new mirror.
468
00:21:33,479 --> 00:21:39,479
Sync && corrections by XhmikosR
www.addic7ed.com
34131
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