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1
00:00:17,637 --> 00:00:19,337
Don't anyone leave this theater!
2
00:00:19,338 --> 00:00:21,638
The royal Romanoff Diamonds are missing!
3
00:00:32,039 --> 00:00:35,339
I am Sam Grunion,
Private Eye, at your service.
4
00:00:35,640 --> 00:00:38,340
Secrecy is my motto; I never tell.
5
00:00:38,541 --> 00:00:42,542
You would know from seeing
my business card - there's nothing on it.
6
00:00:44,043 --> 00:00:48,343
I am the same Sam Grunion
who solved the uranium mining swindle.
7
00:00:48,644 --> 00:00:51,544
Scotland Yard was baffled,
the FBI was baffled,
8
00:00:51,545 --> 00:00:54,446
They sent for me
and the case was solved immediately.
9
00:00:54,547 --> 00:00:57,047
I confessed.
10
00:00:57,248 --> 00:00:59,948
The Romanaff diamonds still missing
are valued at one million dollars.
11
00:01:00,049 --> 00:01:01,949
For eleven years I've trailed them.
12
00:01:01,950 --> 00:01:04,550
Through the Khyber Pass, over the Pyrenees.
13
00:01:04,651 --> 00:01:08,352
Round the Cape of Good Hope
and in the Gimbels basement.
14
00:01:08,553 --> 00:01:11,153
From Gimbels basement
the trail lead me to a group
15
00:01:11,254 --> 00:01:14,054
of struggling young actors
trying to put on a show.
16
00:01:14,155 --> 00:01:17,655
Did diamonds bring them luck? Money?
Hardly.
17
00:01:18,056 --> 00:01:20,656
Once again this repeated the same pattern.
18
00:01:20,657 --> 00:01:24,658
A story of danger, cruelty, violence, murder!
19
00:01:25,859 --> 00:01:29,659
By the way, what do you
think the story was called?
20
00:01:30,460 --> 00:01:34,660
Love Happy!
21
00:03:02,567 --> 00:03:05,568
That's Mike Johnson.
22
00:03:05,568 --> 00:03:07,568
Interesting dance, isn't it?
23
00:03:07,669 --> 00:03:10,969
He landed it fighting off bill collectors.
24
00:03:12,870 --> 00:03:16,370
That's Maggie Philips,
she's in love with Mike.
25
00:03:16,471 --> 00:03:19,372
She's a dancer too. But it's hard
to tell when she's sitting down.
26
00:03:30,373 --> 00:03:32,874
This is Maggie's
best friend, Bunny Dolan.
27
00:03:33,075 --> 00:03:35,675
She invested her last
300 dollars in the show.
28
00:03:35,776 --> 00:03:40,076
It looks like a cold winter ahead,
so she's knitting herself an electric blanket.
29
00:03:57,078 --> 00:04:00,178
Is there a band-aid in the house?
30
00:04:00,880 --> 00:04:04,980
These love-happy kids who were struggling
for success had two things in common.
31
00:04:04,981 --> 00:04:07,981
They were under-financed,
and under-nourished.
32
00:04:08,782 --> 00:04:13,982
Today they had already missed breakfast
and their hopes for lunch are pinned on one man.
33
00:04:13,983 --> 00:04:16,784
Harpo, the strolling delicatessen.
34
00:04:16,885 --> 00:04:19,185
Here he is - shopping.
35
00:04:19,486 --> 00:04:22,186
Looks like a classy store, doesn't it?
36
00:04:22,187 --> 00:04:25,287
Well, on the front they
specialize in hot delicacies
37
00:04:25,288 --> 00:04:29,088
And on the back they
specialize in hot diamonds.
38
00:04:40,390 --> 00:04:43,090
Bless you, my man, bless you.
39
00:04:52,292 --> 00:04:55,092
Thank you very much.
40
00:05:04,294 --> 00:05:06,894
Quiet, little darling.
41
00:05:29,197 --> 00:05:33,897
Madame Egelichi, you are just in time.
The sardines have arrived.
42
00:05:33,898 --> 00:05:36,898
Relax, and wipe that smirk off your face.
There are policemen around.
43
00:05:36,998 --> 00:05:38,198
Yes, ma'm.
44
00:05:38,299 --> 00:05:40,999
- We shall wait in your office.
- Yes, ma'm.
45
00:05:49,401 --> 00:05:52,001
Thank you.
46
00:06:28,805 --> 00:06:31,505
It's alright, just leave it there.
47
00:06:32,506 --> 00:06:36,506
- Will you sign here.
- Thank you, boys, thank you.
48
00:07:44,512 --> 00:07:48,212
At last. At last.
49
00:07:48,613 --> 00:07:52,714
You little darling, you're here.
50
00:08:26,717 --> 00:08:30,217
- Is the paraffin jelly in yet?
- Arriving Wednesday, on Queen Mary.
51
00:08:32,218 --> 00:08:34,519
- I have it. I have it!
- Quiet, Lefty.
52
00:08:34,520 --> 00:08:37,520
- It's in the third crate marked on the back of...
- I said, quiet!
53
00:08:41,121 --> 00:08:44,021
I want to enjoy this moment.
54
00:08:44,822 --> 00:08:47,522
I have gone through a great deal.
55
00:08:48,323 --> 00:08:50,324
How many commissars
did I marry, Alphonse?
56
00:08:50,325 --> 00:08:51,925
Five, Madame Egelichi.
57
00:08:52,025 --> 00:08:55,625
- There were three more, were there not?
- Yes, the Grand Duke and the two Ambassadors.
58
00:08:58,626 --> 00:09:01,626
Eight weddings in three months...
59
00:09:01,727 --> 00:09:05,328
before I could track down
the royal Romanoff necklace...
60
00:09:05,329 --> 00:09:08,329
and its trail from bridegroom to bridegroom.
61
00:09:10,130 --> 00:09:13,530
And now, the jewels are finally in my possession.
62
00:09:15,631 --> 00:09:18,332
If you please, Lefty.
63
00:09:20,333 --> 00:09:23,133
The Royal Romanoff necklace!
64
00:09:24,134 --> 00:09:28,034
One million dollars in matchless diamonds!
65
00:09:30,135 --> 00:09:33,636
I have out-done even myself.
66
00:09:38,737 --> 00:09:42,637
- There is something wrong, Lefty.
- Wrong? Not possible.
67
00:09:42,638 --> 00:09:45,338
- This is not the right can!
- But Madame, it is the right one.
68
00:09:45,339 --> 00:09:48,340
- Where is the can with the Maltese cross on it?
- But Madame, your holding it!
69
00:09:48,341 --> 00:09:51,341
This can has no Maltese cross on it.
70
00:09:51,642 --> 00:09:56,342
It can't be! The cross was on it,
I kissed it! It must have rubbed off.
71
00:09:56,343 --> 00:09:58,843
It was put on with special adhesive paint.
72
00:09:58,944 --> 00:10:02,145
A generation of rubbing
could not have removed it.
73
00:10:02,146 --> 00:10:05,746
Mr. Throckmorton?
May I present the Zoto brothers.
74
00:10:06,147 --> 00:10:08,747
Their speciality is taking care
of people I do not like!
75
00:10:08,748 --> 00:10:12,748
Oh, no, no, the diamonds are in here.
76
00:10:27,550 --> 00:10:30,751
Those hardly look like the
Royal Romanoff diamonds, Lefty!
77
00:10:32,552 --> 00:10:35,752
You may proceed, gentlemen.
78
00:10:49,254 --> 00:10:54,754
Eight marriages, wasted.
The other leg, Hannibal.
79
00:11:01,756 --> 00:11:04,456
I'm afraid you'll have to stop.
I cannot concentrate.
80
00:11:04,457 --> 00:11:09,457
You're wasting your time. He is
too feeble to try to deceive me.
81
00:11:09,958 --> 00:11:12,558
Revive him.
82
00:11:18,860 --> 00:11:22,360
I can't understand, I can't understand.
83
00:11:23,161 --> 00:11:25,261
Quiet!
84
00:11:25,361 --> 00:11:31,162
- Who was present when you found it?
- No one, the door was locked...
85
00:11:31,363 --> 00:11:35,163
Wait! There was someone!
A strange looking creature.
86
00:11:35,564 --> 00:11:39,564
Looked more like a
tramp than a truck man.
87
00:11:44,366 --> 00:11:46,966
You will call the police.
88
00:11:47,267 --> 00:11:51,167
Inform them, that the bushy haired
shoplifter has stolen valuable products.
89
00:11:52,968 --> 00:11:55,268
Give them a full description.
90
00:11:55,369 --> 00:11:57,670
Offer 1000 dollars reward for his capture.
91
00:11:57,770 --> 00:12:00,770
Have all the suspects brought
to my apartment, one at a time.
92
00:12:04,371 --> 00:12:06,771
Police head quarters, please.
93
00:12:49,275 --> 00:12:53,776
Here's another Broadway
hopeful - Faustino the Great.
94
00:12:53,777 --> 00:12:56,277
For 20 years he was an
organ grinder with a monkey.
95
00:12:56,278 --> 00:12:58,978
And one day the monkey went on strike.
96
00:12:58,979 --> 00:13:01,679
He wanted shorter hours
and longer bananas.
97
00:13:02,280 --> 00:13:06,180
Now Faustino is a mind reader.
If he only had a mind.
98
00:13:08,482 --> 00:13:11,182
Okay kids, take five minutes.
99
00:13:13,983 --> 00:13:17,183
- Excuse me, are you Mike Johnson?
- What do you want?
100
00:13:17,184 --> 00:13:19,984
- I'm looking for a job.
- Wrong number, I'm all cast.
101
00:13:21,485 --> 00:13:25,886
You're missing a big bit. Somebody told
me you're putting on a show with unknowns.
102
00:13:25,987 --> 00:13:28,887
You're hiring people that's
never been heard of.
103
00:13:28,888 --> 00:13:32,588
Well I'm the most unknown and unheard of
actor that has ever been on Broadway.
104
00:13:32,589 --> 00:13:35,889
- What's your name?
- Faustino the Great. You've never heard of me?
105
00:13:35,890 --> 00:13:38,391
- No.
- What did I tell you?
106
00:13:38,392 --> 00:13:41,292
- What are you unknown for?
- I don't like to bragg...
107
00:13:41,393 --> 00:13:44,093
...but the thing I'm most
unknown for is mind reading.
108
00:13:44,094 --> 00:13:49,094
I give you an illustration.
You're thinking of something.
109
00:13:49,095 --> 00:13:51,596
- Right so far.
110
00:13:51,597 --> 00:13:55,797
You think of a nice, juicy steak
with frensh fried potatoes.
111
00:13:55,798 --> 00:13:58,798
- The exit is over there.
- You do not want a mind reader?
112
00:13:58,799 --> 00:14:01,799
- What else do you want, maybe a juggler?
- No juggler!
113
00:14:01,800 --> 00:14:05,501
Maybe an usher?
I bring my own flash light.
114
00:14:05,502 --> 00:14:09,202
- Hello, Lyons.
-Mr. Lyons, so glad to see you.
115
00:14:09,203 --> 00:14:12,203
- You're looking wonderful.
- Yeah, you sure are.
116
00:14:12,504 --> 00:14:16,004
Mr. Yorkman was supposed to be
here at ten o'clock. It's 11:30.
117
00:14:16,005 --> 00:14:18,105
Don't worry partner, he'll show.
118
00:14:18,106 --> 00:14:20,907
Don't tell me not to worry,
and please don't call me partner.
119
00:14:20,908 --> 00:14:24,108
I'm removing all my
costumes and scenery, as of now.
120
00:14:24,109 --> 00:14:28,109
The man's mad! Pulling out of the
biggest Broadway smash since "Showboat".
121
00:14:28,110 --> 00:14:32,110
Don't tell about smashes. Mr. Yorkman
was going to write the show, check?
122
00:14:32,111 --> 00:14:35,112
- I told you excactly what he told me.
- Well, he ain't here, check?
123
00:14:35,113 --> 00:14:40,413
OK, now we come to the next step.
Either Mr. Yorkman or 1100 dollars --
124
00:14:40,514 --> 00:14:44,114
-- or I move the stuff
off the stage, as of now.
125
00:14:45,110 --> 00:14:48,110
- Hey, wait a minute.
- Excuse me, are you Mr. Lyons?
126
00:14:48,207 --> 00:14:50,808
- That's right.
- It's lucky I meet you!
127
00:14:50,809 --> 00:14:54,109
- I just talked to Max Yorkman in the office.
- Are you a friend of Mr. Yorkman?
128
00:14:54,810 --> 00:14:59,010
Friend? Max and I are just like that!
Two heads on the same neck!
129
00:14:59,211 --> 00:15:03,912
- Well, I'm glad to meet you.
- You know Max said to me: You want a job?
130
00:15:03,913 --> 00:15:08,213
Go see Mike Johnson.
I'm backing that show, he'll give you a job.
131
00:15:08,214 --> 00:15:12,014
- That's what he said, Mr. Johnson.
- That's good enough for me.
132
00:15:12,015 --> 00:15:15,515
- He's backing the show you said?
- Would I be here if he didn't?
133
00:15:17,117 --> 00:15:20,018
I've been trying to get Mr. Yorkman
on the phone to find out.
134
00:15:20,019 --> 00:15:23,719
Ah, you don't have to bother with
the Max no more. Just talk to me.
135
00:15:23,720 --> 00:15:28,420
- Ok. Maybe I was a little hasty about moving the stuff.
- Ah, it's only natural.
136
00:15:28,521 --> 00:15:31,521
You can't trust nobody in show business.
137
00:15:33,523 --> 00:15:37,223
- Maybe he really knows Mr. Yorkman?
- It a boogie ride. The whole show is.
138
00:15:37,224 --> 00:15:39,324
- Am I hired?
- Yes!
139
00:15:39,325 --> 00:15:41,725
That's a-fine! Thanks!
How much do you pay me?
140
00:15:42,326 --> 00:15:44,826
That kind of talk's gonna get you nowhere.
141
00:15:44,927 --> 00:15:50,028
- Nobody on this show gets paid.
- No until we open and click.
142
00:15:50,829 --> 00:15:54,529
That's alright. I just was
thinking out loud. I'm a-no ham.
143
00:15:56,230 --> 00:16:00,030
Ham! Something has happened.
It's lunch time and he isn't here!
144
00:16:00,031 --> 00:16:03,032
- Who isn't here?
- Harpo.
145
00:16:03,033 --> 00:16:05,933
Hey, Jim! Have you seen any
funny faced tramps, with bushy hair?
146
00:16:06,034 --> 00:16:08,934
Yeah, there a 1000 dollar reward.
147
00:16:13,226 --> 00:16:16,927
Harpo! Everybody's been waiting.
You're late with the food.
148
00:17:18,932 --> 00:17:23,432
Thank you, thank you.
Sardines?
149
00:17:23,433 --> 00:17:27,634
Portuguese, skinless, eyeless sardines?
150
00:17:27,635 --> 00:17:31,635
What cruelty, what barbary!
151
00:17:31,636 --> 00:17:36,136
I thank you, no sir!
Keep your sardines!
152
00:17:54,038 --> 00:17:57,839
Hello! You got a-something for me?
153
00:17:58,440 --> 00:18:02,840
You want I should read your
mind again? Alright, start thinking.
154
00:18:03,041 --> 00:18:07,341
You think of the same thing
as yesterday. And the day before.
155
00:18:07,342 --> 00:18:09,842
That's the only thought you've got.
156
00:18:25,245 --> 00:18:27,645
You're in love.
157
00:18:27,646 --> 00:18:30,246
A beautiful girl is gonna smile at you.
158
00:18:30,247 --> 00:18:34,547
That's the only thing you want,
a beautiful girl is gonna smile at you.
159
00:18:34,648 --> 00:18:38,248
Alright, stop thinking now.
What a-you got for me?
160
00:18:38,249 --> 00:18:42,450
I no wanna sardines.
You promissed me something special.
161
00:18:45,951 --> 00:18:50,451
Ice cream.
Tootsie-fruitsie ice cream.
162
00:20:04,057 --> 00:20:08,458
A royal feast! My Robin Hood has struck again.
163
00:20:13,059 --> 00:20:17,459
I'll have these tomorrow.
164
00:20:19,761 --> 00:20:25,461
Places! On stage, you're next.
Bunny Dolan, next number.
165
00:20:28,462 --> 00:20:31,262
Rehearsal!
166
00:23:14,875 --> 00:23:20,275
I'm sorry. Thank you for your work, but this
creature is not the man. Better luck next time.
167
00:23:24,076 --> 00:23:27,277
The wrong one again. We'll
have to increase the award.
168
00:23:27,278 --> 00:23:29,278
Answer it.
169
00:23:29,279 --> 00:23:32,979
Wait till I lay my hands on that thief,
I promiss he'll regret he was ever born.
170
00:23:34,980 --> 00:23:38,880
I picked him up on the street,
have a look to see if he's your man.
171
00:23:38,881 --> 00:23:41,982
Bushy hair and funny face the sergeant told me.
172
00:23:42,083 --> 00:23:45,183
Yes. Excuse me, I'll be back in a moment.
173
00:23:47,084 --> 00:23:49,184
- That's the one.
- Are you certain?
174
00:23:49,185 --> 00:23:52,185
He's our man, I tell you. What do we do?
175
00:24:19,188 --> 00:24:22,188
- So nice of you to take this trouble, officer.
- No trouble at all, m'am.
176
00:24:22,189 --> 00:24:27,190
- Is he the man you're looking for?
- No, there is a resemblance, nothing more.
177
00:24:27,191 --> 00:24:31,191
- OK, beat it!
- No, don't send him away like that.
178
00:24:31,192 --> 00:24:35,092
The poor man looks
miserable and without a friend.
179
00:24:35,093 --> 00:24:39,094
And so intelligent.
I'd like to do something for him.
180
00:24:39,095 --> 00:24:41,695
Would you mind leaving him here, officer?
181
00:24:41,696 --> 00:24:44,896
I'd be careful if I were you.
You can't trust characters like him.
182
00:24:44,897 --> 00:24:49,397
Oh, but he looks so harmless
and hungry. Please, officer.
183
00:24:49,398 --> 00:24:53,399
Okay, Madame, we'll be keeping up the search.
184
00:24:53,400 --> 00:24:56,900
- You crummy little worthless...
- Mr. Throckmorton!
185
00:24:57,101 --> 00:25:01,401
I must ask you to leave.
186
00:25:12,403 --> 00:25:16,403
She's giving him the whammy!
187
00:26:03,407 --> 00:26:06,408
I am Madame Egelichi.
188
00:26:06,409 --> 00:26:11,409
I've been looking for you for a long time.
189
00:26:11,410 --> 00:26:16,410
Because I think you may have something for me.
190
00:26:20,412 --> 00:26:24,412
Alphonse! Hannibal! Search him.
191
00:28:09,220 --> 00:28:12,620
Alphonse, Hannibal!
You will wait in the other room.
192
00:28:24,422 --> 00:28:28,422
I say it will be more
comfortable alone, don't you?
193
00:28:30,424 --> 00:28:33,024
I like you...
194
00:28:33,925 --> 00:28:36,625
I like you very much.
195
00:28:37,026 --> 00:28:40,626
I don't want you to be lonesome and miserable.
196
00:28:41,227 --> 00:28:44,228
I want to ask you a few questions.
197
00:28:44,529 --> 00:28:47,429
A few personal questions.
198
00:28:47,430 --> 00:28:50,430
But you mustn't lie to me.
199
00:28:53,131 --> 00:28:56,931
I do not like it when poeple lie to me.
200
00:28:58,833 --> 00:29:01,833
I get offended.
201
00:29:06,634 --> 00:29:10,434
Alphonse, Hannibal! This creature won't talk.
202
00:29:12,536 --> 00:29:16,236
- There are ways of making him talk.
- I give the orders here.
203
00:29:16,237 --> 00:29:18,537
- You little devil!
- Stop that!
204
00:29:20,538 --> 00:29:24,638
What did you do
with the sardine cans? Answer me.
205
00:29:25,039 --> 00:29:28,640
Oh! Take him away.
206
00:29:29,141 --> 00:29:32,641
Give him everything.
207
00:29:32,942 --> 00:29:36,642
And when she says everything,
she means everything.
208
00:29:36,743 --> 00:29:39,943
For who knows
better than I about Madame Egelichi.
209
00:29:40,344 --> 00:29:44,745
Disguised as Count Negulescu,
I tussled with her in Bukarest.
210
00:29:45,846 --> 00:29:49,446
And as Angus McTamish
I tussled with her in Glaskow.
211
00:29:49,447 --> 00:29:52,647
Finally, as Ali bin Pascha...
212
00:29:54,248 --> 00:29:56,549
I tussled with her...
213
00:29:56,550 --> 00:29:59,750
Well, it was too hot to tussle
so we went swimming.
214
00:30:01,951 --> 00:30:05,751
Meanwhile, Faustino had kept
the show alive by keeping Lyons happy.
215
00:30:08,352 --> 00:30:11,453
He offered him all kinds of tempting inducements.
216
00:30:13,354 --> 00:30:15,754
A dozen harmonicas.
217
00:30:18,655 --> 00:30:21,455
A solid mahogany lime table.
218
00:30:21,856 --> 00:30:24,657
A sterling silver trash basket.
219
00:30:26,658 --> 00:30:29,658
A set of the Encyclopedia Britannica.
220
00:30:31,259 --> 00:30:35,859
But Lyons was not a dope.
He selected the blonde on the end.
221
00:30:36,660 --> 00:30:40,661
When Faustino told him the blonde
was married, Lyons was angry.
222
00:30:40,661 --> 00:30:44,361
He said if he didn't get the money
in the morning, he'd close the show.
223
00:30:44,462 --> 00:30:47,262
Meanwhile, the cast went on
with dress rehearsal.
224
00:30:47,263 --> 00:30:49,563
Unaware of the troubles ahead.
225
00:30:50,064 --> 00:30:53,064
Alright kids, lets get ready
for the Sadie Thompson number.
226
00:30:53,065 --> 00:30:55,966
And don't forget. You're on an island
and you haven't seen a dame in months.
227
00:30:55,967 --> 00:30:58,867
- So look hungry.
- Look hungry! Are you kidding?
228
00:30:58,868 --> 00:31:02,768
OK Jim, put it on!
Lets go!
229
00:35:12,687 --> 00:35:16,287
That was fine, Maggie.
Now go change into your ballet costume.
230
00:35:17,188 --> 00:35:20,688
Now Madame Egelichi,
wearing the pants of the dreaded Catwoman,
231
00:35:20,689 --> 00:35:21,689
was desperately trying to make Harpo talk.
232
00:35:24,690 --> 00:35:27,491
First came the Hungarian rope torture.
233
00:35:28,892 --> 00:35:31,992
Six hours Harpo sat
in a chair, smoking rope.
234
00:36:02,595 --> 00:36:05,495
And four hours on the hideous rack.
235
00:36:05,996 --> 00:36:11,197
Original from the workshop of the fiendish
Ferdinand von Krakowich of Monte Carlo.
236
00:36:14,798 --> 00:36:18,198
Place your bets, place your bets!
237
00:36:27,600 --> 00:36:31,900
And then for eight hours another little
appliance designed by the same Ferdinand.
238
00:36:31,901 --> 00:36:34,601
The Krakowich fresher washer.
239
00:36:34,602 --> 00:36:37,902
With this machine, you can wash
your underware without taking them off!
240
00:37:03,805 --> 00:37:08,306
When Harpo wouldn't talk, Madame Egelichi
decided to take things in her own hands.
241
00:37:08,307 --> 00:37:14,307
That meant only one thing, her own speciality.
The insidious food and water torture.
242
00:37:46,110 --> 00:37:48,910
- Has he spoke yet? - Not a word.
- The water? - Still dripping.
243
00:37:48,911 --> 00:37:51,912
- Has he slept? - Not a wink.
- Eaten? - Not a dash.
244
00:37:52,013 --> 00:37:55,513
Three days without breaking.
It's rather unusual.
245
00:37:55,598 --> 00:37:59,398
After I've finished eating bring him in,
and we will give him the apple test.
246
00:38:03,199 --> 00:38:05,700
You refuse to speak.
247
00:38:05,701 --> 00:38:10,701
We shall continue firing until
you tell us about a certain can of sardines.
248
00:38:11,202 --> 00:38:13,702
Fire!
249
00:38:20,904 --> 00:38:24,904
Put that apple back on your head!
250
00:38:36,306 --> 00:38:39,406
Nothing must happen to him. He's the
only one that can lead us to the sardine can.
251
00:38:41,007 --> 00:38:45,207
- The gun isn't loaded, Alphonse?
- No, Madame. It is empty.
252
00:38:49,509 --> 00:38:53,109
He hasn't the nerve. He won't shoot.
253
00:38:55,510 --> 00:38:59,810
- There were only four bullets?
- Yes, Madame.
254
00:39:01,811 --> 00:39:05,112
Grab him, the gun is empty.
255
00:39:27,514 --> 00:39:29,714
We've been fooled.
256
00:39:29,815 --> 00:39:32,216
He can speak.
No, no. Let him talk.
257
00:39:40,917 --> 00:39:44,217
You gotta no heart!
They wanna sing, they wanna dance.
258
00:39:44,518 --> 00:39:48,319
What-a you say? Stop the music!
259
00:39:48,320 --> 00:39:51,120
Who's you? Tuscanini?
260
00:39:55,021 --> 00:39:57,321
- Harpo?
261
00:39:57,322 --> 00:39:59,822
Some sort of code.
262
00:39:59,823 --> 00:40:03,224
Mr. Lyons, stop the noice.
Stop the moving. It's Harpo.
263
00:40:03,225 --> 00:40:07,325
- Where is he?
- Ssh, I'm reading his mind.
264
00:40:11,426 --> 00:40:15,727
Clear your head.
You talk too fast, clear your head.
265
00:40:34,529 --> 00:40:37,729
That's better.
266
00:40:41,130 --> 00:40:46,031
He's a-having a party.
Everybody is hitting him with apples.
267
00:40:46,032 --> 00:40:50,432
It's-a lot of fun, eh?
268
00:40:50,633 --> 00:40:54,033
What-a you think?
A beautiful woman is in love with him.
269
00:40:54,034 --> 00:40:58,035
For sardines.
270
00:40:58,436 --> 00:41:00,936
What? You don't say!
271
00:41:00,937 --> 00:41:03,837
It's a beautiful woman wants to marry him!
272
00:41:06,238 --> 00:41:09,338
How much-a money she's got?
273
00:41:10,439 --> 00:41:13,440
Tell her to come to the Windsor Theater.
We've got lots of sardines here.
274
00:41:15,341 --> 00:41:18,841
Lefty! They're at the Windsor Theater.
275
00:41:19,342 --> 00:41:21,742
He says she's a rich woman.
276
00:41:21,743 --> 00:41:24,243
Stop thinking, we're in trouble. Listen!
277
00:41:24,244 --> 00:41:28,545
You bring her to the theater
right away, in half an hour. Hurry up!
278
00:41:38,246 --> 00:41:41,447
Alphonse, Hannibal!
279
00:41:47,048 --> 00:41:51,448
Everything is fine. Harpo's
bringing a bride with lotsa money.
280
00:41:51,549 --> 00:41:54,649
- I ain't falling for anymore stunts.
- It's a-no stunt!
281
00:41:54,650 --> 00:41:57,051
It's love! She's bringing the money!
282
00:41:57,052 --> 00:41:59,752
Boys! Keep moving the stuff out.
283
00:41:59,753 --> 00:42:03,453
- Hey, are you a musician?
- Well, I used to play.
284
00:42:03,754 --> 00:42:06,754
I knew it the first moment I looked at you.
285
00:42:08,255 --> 00:42:12,856
I say to myself,
this Mr. Lyons has something inside.
286
00:42:13,057 --> 00:42:18,557
Something from the heart.
What kind of music do you like?
287
00:42:19,058 --> 00:42:23,258
- I like gypsy music.
- I like-a gypsy music too!
288
00:42:23,559 --> 00:42:28,660
Everybody, stop the moving!
Mr. Lyons, he's a-gonna play!
289
00:42:29,261 --> 00:42:32,461
- Do you know "Play, gypsy, play"?
- No.
290
00:42:32,462 --> 00:42:35,662
- Do you know "Gypsy Serenade"?
- No.
291
00:42:35,963 --> 00:42:40,664
- What do you know?
- "Gypsy Love Song".
292
00:42:40,665 --> 00:42:44,365
- Yes, but I only know the chorus.
- That's alright. I play and you follow me.
293
00:42:44,366 --> 00:42:47,866
- OK, you play and I noodle around.
- What do you mean by "noodling"?
294
00:42:47,867 --> 00:42:50,467
- Like this:
295
00:42:50,468 --> 00:42:54,469
That's good!
You noodle on that, I macaroni on this.
296
00:43:03,470 --> 00:43:09,171
Now look. I know you wanna make
a good impression, but don't play better than me.
297
00:43:44,674 --> 00:43:48,174
Are we playing the same thing?
298
00:44:27,778 --> 00:44:31,178
A-ha! One too much!
299
00:44:49,581 --> 00:44:54,981
That's very good. Now we try the chorus.
But the chorus we play Pianissimo.
300
00:44:54,982 --> 00:44:57,982
- You know what Pianissimo is?
- No.
301
00:44:57,983 --> 00:45:00,983
- How long you study music?
- 15 years.
302
00:45:00,984 --> 00:45:04,985
15. You know, two more years
and you could've been a plummer.
303
00:45:06,986 --> 00:45:10,986
Never mind, I make it simple.
We gonna play Alegro Pizzicato.
304
00:45:10,987 --> 00:45:15,287
That's what you call a high class.
You know Alegro Pizzicato?
305
00:45:15,388 --> 00:45:18,689
- No.
- You know Jimmy Pizzicato?
306
00:45:18,690 --> 00:45:24,390
- No.
- None of the Pizzicatos. What do you know?
307
00:45:24,391 --> 00:45:28,391
- I know Pistacchio...
- Pistacchio! We play it!
308
00:47:38,401 --> 00:47:42,402
Very good! Very good!
309
00:47:45,303 --> 00:47:48,403
Now we play one more chorus.
310
00:47:53,904 --> 00:47:58,105
Well, boys and girls.
I've got a little sad news for you.
311
00:47:59,106 --> 00:48:02,606
Our show isn't opening.
We're closing tonight.
312
00:48:02,607 --> 00:48:06,107
Without a shot on Broadway.
Mr. Max Yorkman, who promissed --
313
00:48:06,108 --> 00:48:09,709
to underwrite our production,
has seen fit to remain invisible,
314
00:48:09,710 --> 00:48:14,310
together with his bankroll.
Mr. Lyons, a man of small faith, --
315
00:48:14,311 --> 00:48:17,311
is therefore removing the scenery
and costumes from the production.
316
00:48:17,312 --> 00:48:24,913
Mr. Johnson, may I suggest that we do
what all actors have done since Shakespeare:
317
00:48:24,914 --> 00:48:28,214
Perform without scenery or costumes or salary!
318
00:48:32,315 --> 00:48:35,415
Sorry. I can't go on with that kind of a show.
319
00:48:35,416 --> 00:48:38,417
Curtain's down, school's out.
320
00:48:38,818 --> 00:48:42,118
Better luck next time.
321
00:48:42,819 --> 00:48:47,119
I'm sorry Mr. Johnson, but
Mr. Lyons said to take everything.
322
00:48:52,921 --> 00:48:56,821
- Well, go ahead, say it.
- I wasn't going to say anything.
323
00:48:56,822 --> 00:49:00,022
You don't have to put it to
words, baby, it's sticking out of your eyes.
324
00:49:00,023 --> 00:49:02,323
I'm yellow, no guts.
325
00:49:02,324 --> 00:49:05,024
- Not at all, Mike, you're just what you are.
- What's that?
326
00:49:05,025 --> 00:49:08,626
A very nice, sweet, sensitive man,
who does not belong in showbusiness.
327
00:49:08,627 --> 00:49:12,627
- Thanks.
- Here. Have some good, hot coffee.
328
00:49:12,928 --> 00:49:17,428
And discuss your next carrier.
An orange stand would be interesting, would'nt it?
329
00:49:17,429 --> 00:49:21,429
You'd look stunning in an apron,
surrounded by nice, yellow oranges.
330
00:49:24,231 --> 00:49:27,531
- Here, have some sardines.
- I don't want any sardines.
331
00:49:27,532 --> 00:49:30,932
I'm not throwing a bare turkey
on the stage. I'm quitting, Maggie.
332
00:49:31,033 --> 00:49:33,533
And don't stand waving a flag,
saying the show must go on.
333
00:49:33,534 --> 00:49:37,035
- So relax, it's over.
- No, it isn't over!
334
00:49:37,036 --> 00:49:41,736
We're going to open without scenery,
without costumes. Just with talanted people.
335
00:49:42,337 --> 00:49:47,237
- We could open and knock 'em dead!
- Lets get something to eat and celebrate!
336
00:49:47,238 --> 00:49:49,638
- What's there to celebrate?
- Today's your birthday.
337
00:49:49,639 --> 00:49:53,440
Don't change the subject. Listen Mike,
we've got a great show here and...
338
00:49:53,541 --> 00:49:58,041
- What do you think life is, a fairy tale?
- Yes. It is.
339
00:49:58,042 --> 00:50:02,742
Fairy tales! Sardines!
340
00:50:08,444 --> 00:50:11,744
What do you want?
341
00:50:14,845 --> 00:50:17,745
Could you tell where
to find Mr. Michael Johnson?
342
00:50:18,346 --> 00:50:20,747
You're speaking to the gentleman in person.
343
00:50:20,748 --> 00:50:23,048
Oh, how wonderful, you are really Mr. Johnson?
344
00:50:23,049 --> 00:50:26,049
- What can I do for you?
- Oh, Mr. Johnson, so much!
345
00:50:26,350 --> 00:50:30,250
- You mean on the show?
- You have a place for me, I'm sure.
346
00:50:30,251 --> 00:50:32,551
- Too bad, Miss...
- I am Madame Egelichi.
347
00:50:32,552 --> 00:50:35,553
Mr. Johnson, you must have a place for me.
348
00:50:35,554 --> 00:50:39,954
- Not any more.
- Because of a bankroll - we haven't got.
349
00:50:40,155 --> 00:50:43,355
What I'm trying to say --
350
00:50:43,356 --> 00:50:47,356
-- is that we're folding our show. Calling it a day.
351
00:50:47,357 --> 00:50:50,158
Better luck next time, Madame Egelichi.
352
00:50:50,159 --> 00:50:53,859
You mean to say that the show is not opening?
353
00:50:55,560 --> 00:50:57,960
How much money do you need, Mr. Johnson?
354
00:50:57,961 --> 00:51:01,561
- A loan from Congress would help.
- Mr. Johnson, I am serious.
355
00:51:01,562 --> 00:51:04,963
- I will supply the money.
- What kind of roles do you want?
356
00:51:04,964 --> 00:51:07,764
Oh, no, not for myself.
357
00:51:07,765 --> 00:51:11,065
I am in love with the theater.
I can see you have talent.
358
00:51:11,066 --> 00:51:14,166
Great talent! And the show must go on!
359
00:51:14,167 --> 00:51:18,368
- Hallelujah!
- This is over my head, Mike.
360
00:51:18,369 --> 00:51:22,869
- What's going on?
- It's simple. Didn't you say life was a fairy tale?
361
00:51:22,870 --> 00:51:25,870
Here's our fairy godmother, with a wand!
362
00:51:25,871 --> 00:51:31,272
And what a wand. Madame Egelichi,
I need 1100 dollars to raise the curtain.
363
00:51:31,273 --> 00:51:35,273
- You're not kidding, are you?
- Shall we go to your office, Mr. Johnson?
364
00:51:35,274 --> 00:51:39,474
- Lets go!
- You are going to make me so happy.
365
00:52:05,477 --> 00:52:09,477
- He's taking a long time for a business deal.
- He'll be back.
366
00:52:09,550 --> 00:52:13,950
- Don't be a fool, lets go!
- Sorry Bunny, I promissed.
367
00:52:19,252 --> 00:52:22,352
I told you to never eat your dinner in this room!
368
00:52:25,453 --> 00:52:29,554
Cheer up honey. Maybe he's breaking
your heart to make a better actress out of you.
369
00:52:49,856 --> 00:52:53,356
Baby, we're opening! Lyons is
bringing back the scenery and costumes.
370
00:52:53,357 --> 00:52:57,558
- How wonderful.
- Yes, she is wonderful. She liked all my ideas.
371
00:52:57,559 --> 00:53:01,059
- She's a real show woman.
- You can tell me at dinner.
372
00:53:01,060 --> 00:53:04,660
Oh, I almost forgot.
You'd better start without me tonight.
373
00:53:04,661 --> 00:53:10,661
Rita and I still have things to discuss and...
...but baby, I know it's your birthday --
374
00:53:10,662 --> 00:53:15,163
-- but this is important. Now cheer up!
Everything looks wonderful.
375
00:53:15,764 --> 00:53:18,564
It would look better if you
wiped the rouge of your mouth!
376
00:53:18,565 --> 00:53:23,065
Don't get any ideas, honey. I got so excited when
I saw the money I just had to kiss somebody.
377
00:53:23,066 --> 00:53:28,067
I better run, see you tomorrow.
Happy birthday!
378
00:53:43,069 --> 00:53:45,869
- Do you want all these cans open?
- Yes.
379
00:53:45,870 --> 00:53:50,870
- But what shall I do with them?
- In the alley.
380
00:53:56,472 --> 00:53:59,072
- You like-a sardines?
- Yes.
381
00:53:59,073 --> 00:54:02,073
- Have you got any?
- No, but something better.
382
00:54:02,174 --> 00:54:07,474
I've got something worth
a million dollars to you. Love!
383
00:54:07,475 --> 00:54:09,976
It come to me like a flash!
384
00:54:09,977 --> 00:54:13,677
The first moment I see you.
It's a-what they call love at first look!
385
00:54:13,678 --> 00:54:16,478
It's-a kind of love that 's never going to die.
386
00:54:16,479 --> 00:54:20,279
- Would you do something for me?
- Anything! I climb the highest mountain!
387
00:54:20,380 --> 00:54:25,681
Down and up, up and down!
I put my arm into the fire. Up to here, for you!
388
00:54:25,682 --> 00:54:29,682
Go and get as many sardine cans you can find.
389
00:54:29,683 --> 00:54:36,683
Sardines? That's nothing!
I'm gonna cover you in sardines!
390
00:54:36,684 --> 00:54:41,485
That's how much I love you. Watch my smoke!
391
00:55:48,390 --> 00:55:52,491
Darling!
392
00:55:53,092 --> 00:55:56,792
My favorite pets are cats. I collect them.
393
00:56:02,793 --> 00:56:06,994
Madame Egelishi, at last our
search is over. Here is the can.
394
00:56:06,995 --> 00:56:09,495
Where is the neclace?
395
00:56:09,496 --> 00:56:12,596
In here. He ate the sardines
and swallowed it. I'm sure of it.
396
00:56:12,896 --> 00:56:16,696
- That's impossible!
- I'll examine him at once.
397
00:56:19,698 --> 00:56:23,298
I no get-a you sardines.
I get-a you something better!
398
00:56:23,299 --> 00:56:26,999
- Anchovies!
- I have no use for them.
399
00:56:27,000 --> 00:56:32,800
Maybe you like kippered herring? Smelts?
A smoked pike bit? I get you any kind of fish you like.
400
00:56:32,801 --> 00:56:36,802
I love you!
401
00:57:18,506 --> 00:57:21,806
Go away!
402
00:57:25,807 --> 00:57:30,107
Go away! I'm sure your
new partner is more important than I am.
403
00:57:30,808 --> 00:57:35,109
Oh, I thought that...
404
00:57:45,310 --> 00:57:49,111
So this is where you live, isn't it Harpo?
405
00:57:50,612 --> 00:57:54,712
It must be wonderful to be like you, Harpo.
406
00:57:54,713 --> 00:57:59,713
To live alone.
That is, you don't need other people.
407
00:57:59,714 --> 00:58:04,715
You don't depend on them.
Never get hurt.
408
00:58:43,919 --> 00:58:47,719
Oh Harpo, you're wonderful.
409
00:58:50,120 --> 00:58:54,620
Harpo, I've got an idea.
I've been a fool.
410
00:58:54,621 --> 00:58:59,622
Letting my heart stand in my way.
But it is not too late.
411
00:58:59,623 --> 00:59:05,123
He'll still give me the part.
Tomorrow morning. Mr. Hammerstein.
412
00:59:05,524 --> 00:59:10,024
Can you imagine me in a
Broadway production. A star!
413
00:59:10,125 --> 00:59:14,526
A real star!
And I'll work.
414
00:59:14,627 --> 00:59:19,927
No more Nickel Romeos for me.
I'll work, and keep going, and get famous.
415
00:59:19,928 --> 00:59:23,328
We will be rich together.
416
00:59:23,429 --> 00:59:28,430
Harpo, you'll be with me,
because you've always loved me.
417
00:59:29,031 --> 00:59:34,731
I have no one except you.
And you'll be my manager, too.
418
00:59:34,732 --> 00:59:39,732
We'll be famous!
We'll scale to heights of Broadway together!
419
00:59:39,733 --> 00:59:42,234
A star and her manager!
420
00:59:42,235 --> 00:59:44,735
We'll be important people, Harpo.
421
00:59:45,235 --> 00:59:49,035
You'll be the most influential
manager on the Great White Way.
422
00:59:49,036 --> 00:59:52,236
You'll have a whole suite of offices.
423
00:59:53,037 --> 00:59:56,138
And a great big shining mahogany desk.
424
00:59:56,639 --> 00:59:58,839
You'll be just as famous as me, Harpo.
425
00:59:58,840 --> 01:00:00,840
Everyone will come to your office.
426
01:00:01,140 --> 01:00:04,640
And call you on the phone.
All the great stars, and writers and producers --
427
01:00:04,741 --> 01:00:07,741
-- will beg you to help them.
428
01:00:07,742 --> 01:00:11,043
And you'll audition all the great singers and dancers.
429
01:00:11,044 --> 01:00:14,544
They will want advice - about new plays.
430
01:00:14,545 --> 01:00:18,145
Begging to work in your productions - our productions.
431
01:00:18,146 --> 01:00:21,746
And you'll be rich
and important, Harpo. You and I, both.
432
01:00:21,747 --> 01:00:22,747
We'll have everything
we've ever dreamed of. Everything!
433
01:00:39,250 --> 01:00:41,950
Sorry, Harpo.
434
01:00:41,951 --> 01:00:45,951
I'm afraid everything isn't very much,
without that rotten, hollow Mike Johnson.
435
01:00:46,652 --> 01:00:49,952
On my birthday, too.
436
01:00:49,953 --> 01:00:52,954
He had to do it on my birthday.
437
01:00:52,955 --> 01:00:55,955
He said he knew it was.
438
01:00:56,256 --> 01:01:00,356
I hope I never... have another birthday!
439
01:02:50,365 --> 01:02:52,865
Oh, Harpo.
440
01:02:53,066 --> 01:02:55,666
What would I do without you?
441
01:02:58,867 --> 01:03:02,668
You've made this the
nicest birthday I've ever had.
442
01:06:08,578 --> 01:06:11,679
At last the show was opening.
443
01:06:11,680 --> 01:06:16,080
When Mackinaw, my faithful operator,
reported that Madame Egelichi --
444
01:06:16,081 --> 01:06:18,781
-- had put money on the show,
I knew the crises was at hand.
445
01:06:18,782 --> 01:06:22,082
Now I was close to what
I had been trailing all these years --
446
01:06:22,083 --> 01:06:25,784
Madame Egelich... I mean the diamonds.
447
01:06:25,785 --> 01:06:29,785
Immediately, I started for the theater.
Incognito of course.
448
01:06:29,786 --> 01:06:32,786
Mackinaw, you already have
a full account of the case,
449
01:06:32,787 --> 01:06:35,487
-- and in the evening, you might have the solution.
450
01:06:35,488 --> 01:06:38,889
For when the curtain rises,
Madame Egelichi will be in the front box,
451
01:06:38,890 --> 01:06:41,590
-- and sitting next to her,
will be Count Bouillabaisse --
452
01:06:41,591 --> 01:06:45,191
-- but if you take away the count's silk hat,
his opera cloak, and his full dress suit, --
453
01:06:45,192 --> 01:06:47,792
-- you'll have me, shivering in my underwear.
454
01:06:47,793 --> 01:06:50,593
Come on, Mackinow, --
455
01:06:50,594 --> 01:06:53,395
We'll be just in time to be fashionably late.
456
01:06:57,396 --> 01:06:59,796
- Good evening.
- I'm Ivan.
457
01:06:59,797 --> 01:07:02,797
Well, on Federal you can always change it
to Tom, Dick or Harry, they get their own luck.
458
01:07:02,798 --> 01:07:04,798
Come, Mackinaw.
459
01:07:05,998 --> 01:07:07,999
Hey, that's not my suit you're pulling.
460
01:07:08,000 --> 01:07:09,900
Give me the diamond necklace!
461
01:07:10,300 --> 01:07:12,800
We've only just met and
already he's asking me for things.
462
01:07:12,801 --> 01:07:15,801
I'm from the Romanoffs.
To recover the diamonds --
463
01:07:15,802 --> 01:07:18,102
-- we pay you 100 thousand Zlotys.
464
01:07:18,103 --> 01:07:21,604
Salotties! Did you ever try to
spend a salotti in this country?
465
01:07:21,605 --> 01:07:25,205
The diamonds!
-- or in one hour you die.
466
01:07:25,206 --> 01:07:28,606
Oh, yes Mackinaw. Allow me to introduce
you to the man who's going to kill me.
467
01:07:40,508 --> 01:07:42,708
At the sound of the next
musical note the end of my life --
468
01:07:42,709 --> 01:07:45,409
-- will be brought to you by
the Boulevard Sand Company.
469
01:07:45,810 --> 01:07:48,710
Is your watch running fast,
do you want me to drop a little sand in it?
470
01:07:48,711 --> 01:07:51,712
Two more grains of sand before you will die.
471
01:07:52,413 --> 01:07:54,713
I think I'm ready.
472
01:07:54,714 --> 01:07:57,114
Don't hurry. I've got plenty of time.
473
01:07:57,215 --> 01:07:59,615
I hope you're not going through
all that trouble for me.
474
01:07:59,616 --> 01:08:02,116
I've used an electric razor for years.
475
01:08:03,217 --> 01:08:05,118
This will never do.
I've got a hide like an elephant.
476
01:08:05,119 --> 01:08:07,519
By the way, have you
ever tried to hide an elephant?
477
01:08:07,520 --> 01:08:10,520
- You will be dead in five minutes.
- For your information, --
478
01:08:10,521 --> 01:08:13,721
-- my doctor gave me three years to live,
and I don't intend to make a fool out of him.
479
01:08:18,622 --> 01:08:21,523
Come in!
480
01:08:32,824 --> 01:08:35,525
Is there anything I can do for you?
What a ridiculous statement.
481
01:08:36,326 --> 01:08:39,226
Mr. Grunion, I want you to help me.
482
01:08:39,227 --> 01:08:42,327
I have a little sand left.
What seems to be the trouble?
483
01:08:42,628 --> 01:08:46,028
- Some men are following me.
- Really?
484
01:08:46,129 --> 01:08:49,130
I can't understand why.
485
01:08:51,231 --> 01:08:54,131
- I advice you to leave.
- I take her down to the bus station.
486
01:08:54,132 --> 01:08:57,132
Oh, if I'm not back tonight,
go ahead without me.
487
01:09:01,433 --> 01:09:04,334
That's been the history of all my romances.
488
01:09:14,535 --> 01:09:17,336
Madame Egelichi.
489
01:09:22,737 --> 01:09:25,637
The x-rays of the cat, Madame.
490
01:09:27,138 --> 01:09:30,238
- I see nothing.
- I know. I can't understand it.
491
01:09:30,239 --> 01:09:33,540
- Report to the Zoto brothers, immediately.
- Yes, Madame.
492
01:09:58,342 --> 01:10:00,743
Curtain time, five minutes.
493
01:10:14,445 --> 01:10:17,445
- Alright, I'm a heel.
- That's not news.
494
01:10:17,446 --> 01:10:19,446
Could you love a heel
that's been repaired?
495
01:10:19,447 --> 01:10:22,447
I came back last night to get you,
ten minutes after you left.
496
01:10:23,148 --> 01:10:26,248
- You did?
- Yes, with a clean face.
497
01:10:27,549 --> 01:10:30,550
- What's all that?
- Harpo gave it to me.
498
01:10:31,051 --> 01:10:33,151
I thought it might improve the costume.
499
01:10:33,152 --> 01:10:35,352
No. Too phoney.
500
01:10:36,453 --> 01:10:39,553
Tomorrow, if we're not
stoned to death by the mob --
501
01:10:39,754 --> 01:10:43,655
-- I'll get you a
real gem - for the proper finger.
502
01:10:45,156 --> 01:10:47,156
Mike!
503
01:11:08,758 --> 01:11:10,858
Faustino! Get ready,
you're on in two minutes!
504
01:11:10,859 --> 01:11:13,260
I'll be ready, I'll be ready.
505
01:11:22,261 --> 01:11:24,761
- We want the diamonds!
- You were wearing them.
506
01:11:24,762 --> 01:11:26,463
- Oh, no!
- Where are they?
507
01:11:27,464 --> 01:11:29,264
She never will talk.
508
01:11:29,265 --> 01:11:31,465
- She'll talk to Madame Egelichi.
- Or there will be murder!
509
01:11:41,967 --> 01:11:44,867
Maggie... What's going on here!
510
01:11:45,468 --> 01:11:47,568
Let go of her!
511
01:11:50,469 --> 01:11:52,869
Lets search the place
before we take her away.
512
01:11:58,171 --> 01:12:00,571
What do want?
I should read your mind?
513
01:12:00,572 --> 01:12:03,272
I'm to busy now, the show is gonna start.
514
01:12:03,473 --> 01:12:06,273
You're too excited, I can't read your mind.
515
01:12:06,374 --> 01:12:08,874
Alright, I read your mind.
What's on your mind?
516
01:12:10,376 --> 01:12:13,376
It's a dame. All the time
you got a dame on your mind.
517
01:12:14,777 --> 01:12:17,877
It's no dame.
It's a nice girl.
518
01:12:17,878 --> 01:12:20,678
What about the nice girl?
519
01:12:22,279 --> 01:12:25,080
That's what you call a nice girl?
You're crazy!
520
01:12:25,181 --> 01:12:28,181
That's a dog!
A dog? What about the dog?
521
01:12:28,782 --> 01:12:30,382
Big dog?
522
01:12:30,483 --> 01:12:33,083
A police dog? A big, big dog?
523
01:12:33,084 --> 01:12:35,984
A Saint Bernardo?
Even bigger dog?
524
01:12:35,985 --> 01:12:37,986
A Great Dane?
525
01:12:37,987 --> 01:12:39,987
What about a Great Dane?
526
01:12:39,988 --> 01:12:43,088
Great Dane got a dimple?
Great Dane got whiskers?
527
01:12:43,089 --> 01:12:45,589
That's-a my jaw!
Great Dane - Jaw.
528
01:12:45,590 --> 01:12:48,290
Great Dane - Jaw.
Great Dane - Jaw.
529
01:12:48,291 --> 01:12:49,791
Great Dane - Jaw...
530
01:12:49,792 --> 01:12:51,792
Great danger!
531
01:12:51,793 --> 01:12:54,294
Who's in great danger?
532
01:12:56,892 --> 01:12:59,492
I can't read your hand,
I can only read your mind.
533
01:13:01,993 --> 01:13:04,393
That's a billy goat.
534
01:13:04,694 --> 01:13:07,395
That's Jolson.
Singing "Mammy" - Mammy!
535
01:13:07,696 --> 01:13:10,496
Mammy!
Mammy?
536
01:13:14,897 --> 01:13:17,497
Ma -
Ma -
537
01:13:18,898 --> 01:13:20,498
Ma - what?
538
01:13:25,600 --> 01:13:28,500
You open the door?
With a key?
539
01:13:28,501 --> 01:13:29,501
Ma - key.
540
01:13:32,802 --> 01:13:34,802
Ma - key.
Ma - key.
541
01:13:35,704 --> 01:13:38,704
Maggie!
Oh, Maggie is in great danger.
542
01:13:39,705 --> 01:13:42,705
Oh, smart, eh?
Catch on very quick.
543
01:13:43,106 --> 01:13:46,206
Maggie's in great danger.
Who's after Maggie?
544
01:13:48,007 --> 01:13:51,108
That's a bird. A seagull?
A bigger bird?
545
01:13:51,209 --> 01:13:54,209
A turkey bird?
A big, big bird? A stool pigeon?
546
01:13:56,510 --> 01:13:59,010
That's Yankee Doodle.
A Yankee Doodle bird?
547
01:14:00,411 --> 01:14:02,811
That's the flag.
On top of the flag.
548
01:14:02,812 --> 01:14:05,213
That's an eagle!
An eagle, an eagle.
549
01:14:05,214 --> 01:14:09,014
What about the eagle?
Eagle scratch? Eagle tickle?
550
01:14:09,215 --> 01:14:11,615
Eagle got flees?
Eagle nervous?
551
01:14:11,916 --> 01:14:14,716
Ah, stop, you're making me itchi!
Itchi?
552
01:14:14,817 --> 01:14:17,317
Eagle - itchi.
Eagle - itchi ...
553
01:14:17,918 --> 01:14:20,519
Egelichi! Egelichi.
554
01:14:20,520 --> 01:14:23,320
What's Egelichi gonna do to Maggie?
555
01:14:24,421 --> 01:14:26,521
It's a horse.
A horse run away with Maggie?
556
01:14:26,722 --> 01:14:29,122
Horse will fall down on Maggie?
557
01:14:29,823 --> 01:14:32,323
That's a hammer and nail.
No hammer?
558
01:14:32,424 --> 01:14:34,825
A nail! A big nail?
559
01:14:34,926 --> 01:14:37,326
A little nail. A little bitsy nail.
560
01:14:37,527 --> 01:14:40,327
Little, little
- tack, a tack!
561
01:14:41,128 --> 01:14:43,228
Wet tack? Wet tack?
562
01:14:43,629 --> 01:14:45,429
Wet tack? Wet tack?
563
01:14:45,630 --> 01:14:48,731
Horse - wet tack,
horse - wet tack...
564
01:14:48,732 --> 01:14:51,832
Horse - wet track, horse wet track.
Mudder!
565
01:14:51,833 --> 01:14:54,433
Mudder, mudder...
566
01:14:56,634 --> 01:15:02,535
A mudder, a mudder, a mudder...
567
01:15:02,836 --> 01:15:04,836
Murder! It's a murder!
568
01:15:04,937 --> 01:15:08,637
Egelichi's gonna murder Maggie!
Come on, lets go!
569
01:15:10,338 --> 01:15:12,738
Good luck, honey!
Thanks, Jim!
570
01:15:16,039 --> 01:15:18,040
-- all about the diamonds or we'll murder you!
571
01:15:18,341 --> 01:15:20,441
Hey, what diamonds?
Who's got diamonds?
572
01:15:20,542 --> 01:15:22,442
What a-we do? What we gonna do?
573
01:15:22,543 --> 01:15:24,843
Alright girls, come on!
Get in line and look pretty.
574
01:15:24,844 --> 01:15:26,944
Now remember, this is opening night.
575
01:15:26,945 --> 01:15:29,045
Lets hear those lines. Put a little heart into it.
576
01:15:29,046 --> 01:15:31,747
Perfume from Hindustan!
577
01:15:31,948 --> 01:15:34,048
Oil from Arabia!
578
01:15:34,049 --> 01:15:36,249
Diamonds from Africa!
579
01:15:47,551 --> 01:15:49,151
We'll take you to the hotel.
580
01:15:49,152 --> 01:15:51,252
- But there's a show on!
- We're not interested.
581
01:15:51,253 --> 01:15:53,753
We'll keep you there until she
accounts for where she hid the diamonds.
582
01:15:54,454 --> 01:15:57,954
Don't take her away, I confess!
I got the diamonds, I find them.
583
01:15:57,955 --> 01:16:00,256
- Where are they?
- Right here, but I no give them to you!
584
01:16:00,257 --> 01:16:03,257
- Hit it Harpo!
- Quickly, chase them!
585
01:16:06,358 --> 01:16:09,158
Harpo, this way!
586
01:16:11,059 --> 01:16:13,659
Help me hold the door!
587
01:16:14,361 --> 01:16:17,761
They got to keep chasing us. When they
find out we don't have the real diamonds --
588
01:16:17,762 --> 01:16:20,162
they're gonna stop the show, kill Maggie.
589
01:16:20,163 --> 01:16:22,963
And I got to get back to the show.
Hurry, you go!
590
01:17:28,769 --> 01:17:30,869
Find him! What's the matter with you two?
591
01:17:30,870 --> 01:17:33,570
He was right here! Where did he go?
592
01:21:18,887 --> 01:21:21,087
Beautiful, beautiful, go take your bow!
593
01:21:21,088 --> 01:21:23,888
I got no time. I got to give
them the diamonds. The real ones!
594
01:21:23,889 --> 01:21:25,989
- Who's got diamonds?
- Me, look!
595
01:21:25,990 --> 01:21:30,090
I save Harpo! I save the show!
I'm the hero, nobody else!
596
01:23:30,000 --> 01:23:32,700
Hey! Hey, I got them!
597
01:23:34,001 --> 01:23:36,601
Hey! Leave Harpo alone!
598
01:23:36,602 --> 01:23:38,802
Here's the real diamonds.
Look, look!
599
01:24:15,806 --> 01:24:18,006
The odds were a thousand to one
that I wouldn't make it.
600
01:24:18,007 --> 01:24:20,807
Here I was, back on the trail.
601
01:24:23,809 --> 01:24:27,409
At the risk of death
I fearlessly scrutinized every --
602
01:24:27,510 --> 01:24:30,210
-- hiding place.
603
01:24:52,913 --> 01:24:56,013
Ah, Madame Egelichi!
Don't you remember me?
604
01:24:56,414 --> 01:24:58,914
Yes, I do!
605
01:24:59,315 --> 01:25:02,615
- No, I mean before that.
- Grunion, I'm warning you --
606
01:25:03,016 --> 01:25:07,617
This time, I'm going to get the diamonds,
and nothing is going to stop me.
607
01:25:12,918 --> 01:25:15,218
Oh no, I'm not going to
follow you and get shot.
608
01:25:15,219 --> 01:25:17,719
If I was half-shot I'd follow you.
609
01:25:45,522 --> 01:25:48,222
I'll take those.
610
01:25:49,123 --> 01:25:51,624
- Give me those diamonds you fool!
- You want the diamonds?
611
01:25:51,625 --> 01:25:54,425
Sure, I give it to you.
Now, what you gonna give me?
612
01:25:55,926 --> 01:25:57,826
- That's not what I want.
- Where are they?
613
01:25:57,827 --> 01:26:00,227
- The real ones!
- Those are the real ones.
614
01:26:00,228 --> 01:26:02,828
Harpo, he's a gotta the fakes.
615
01:26:28,831 --> 01:26:31,431
He's out there!
616
01:26:31,432 --> 01:26:33,633
There he is again!
617
01:26:38,734 --> 01:26:40,834
- Where is he?
- He was standing right there!
618
01:26:40,835 --> 01:26:43,135
- That's what I saw!
- You two are idiots!
619
01:26:43,536 --> 01:26:46,136
- There he is!
- After him! - Get him!
620
01:26:49,538 --> 01:26:51,638
Where is he?
621
01:26:53,039 --> 01:26:55,539
- Right there!
- Alphonse! - Throw the rope!
622
01:27:58,544 --> 01:28:01,545
Good work, my man! I was just
about the enter the battle myself.
623
01:28:01,546 --> 01:28:04,046
From now on, I'm gonna take care of you.
624
01:28:04,047 --> 01:28:05,047
You've got the axe, of course?
625
01:28:30,850 --> 01:28:33,750
I'm in complete command of the situation.
626
01:28:41,651 --> 01:28:44,052
I didn't see a thing,
all of the window shades were down.
627
01:28:44,053 --> 01:28:46,553
Search him!
628
01:28:47,554 --> 01:28:50,354
Oh, no, I'm not gonna get into that.
629
01:28:51,455 --> 01:28:54,055
If this was a French picture I could do it.
630
01:28:57,857 --> 01:28:59,557
I'll search him myself.
631
01:28:59,558 --> 01:29:01,758
No, the diamonds have kept us apart to long.
632
01:29:01,759 --> 01:29:04,459
I'll tackle him single handed.
633
01:29:06,660 --> 01:29:09,660
I'd kill anyone who's got those diamonds.
634
01:29:17,262 --> 01:29:19,662
Grunion, darling!
635
01:29:19,963 --> 01:29:21,963
Careful, you're sensing my coat.
636
01:29:21,964 --> 01:29:25,865
I don't care about the diamonds.
All I really want is you.
637
01:29:26,166 --> 01:29:29,566
- So, you finally fell for me, eh?
- Yes.
638
01:29:29,567 --> 01:29:33,367
This is the sweetest moment
of my life. Come my darling!
639
01:29:33,368 --> 01:29:35,868
Goodbye old man,
it was nice knowing you.
640
01:29:37,669 --> 01:29:39,669
Please, you're tickling my change pocket!
641
01:29:39,670 --> 01:29:43,471
Oh my darling, lets get away together
just you and I. What fun we'll have!
642
01:29:43,472 --> 01:29:46,272
We'll stop at the Riviera,
Monte Carlo, Rio de Janeiro...
643
01:29:46,273 --> 01:29:49,773
Yeah, but first we'll stop at the unemployment
insurance office to pick up my check.
644
01:30:07,475 --> 01:30:09,876
And that's how the long search ended.
645
01:30:09,877 --> 01:30:13,377
With the diamonds in the hands of a
happy-go-lucky clown who disappeared with them.
646
01:30:14,078 --> 01:30:16,978
Never realising their true value.
647
01:30:18,079 --> 01:30:19,779
Anyway that was six cases ago.
648
01:30:19,780 --> 01:30:22,680
Right now I'm following the trail
of counterfeiting cut-throats.
649
01:30:22,681 --> 01:30:25,682
And I've tracked the down
to Akoudjimanplane in Istanbul.
650
01:30:27,683 --> 01:30:29,683
Answer that, my man!
651
01:30:30,584 --> 01:30:32,784
I'm busy.
652
01:30:36,185 --> 01:30:37,585
Gin, eh?
653
01:30:37,586 --> 01:30:40,187
10, 30, 40, 47, 50, 60 --
654
01:30:40,288 --> 01:30:42,188
Fine assistant...
655
01:30:42,789 --> 01:30:44,989
I hope they're not playing for money.
656
01:30:45,790 --> 01:30:47,590
Yes!
657
01:30:47,591 --> 01:30:50,291
Yes, dear.
Yes, I'll be home, dear.
658
01:30:50,292 --> 01:30:53,093
No, I wont be late, dear,
six o'clock, right on the dot.
659
01:30:53,094 --> 01:30:55,194
Yes, dear.
Goodbye, dear.
660
01:30:57,195 --> 01:30:59,095
My wife.
661
01:30:59,196 --> 01:31:02,096
Formerly, Madame Egelichi...
53201
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