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1
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www.tvsubtitles.net
2
00:00:01,773 --> 00:00:03,273
I like Christian.
3
00:00:03,340 --> 00:00:06,573
Um, he likes to play
with my hair all the time.
4
00:00:06,640 --> 00:00:09,673
I think it's because
his mom has long blond hair.
5
00:00:09,740 --> 00:00:12,139
I think I'm a substitute
for his mother.
6
00:00:12,206 --> 00:00:14,473
I'm not getting married,
and I don't like anyone,
7
00:00:14,540 --> 00:00:15,740
and I never will.
8
00:00:15,807 --> 00:00:16,974
* All right!
9
00:00:17,073 --> 00:00:19,173
* Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!
10
00:00:21,974 --> 00:00:25,773
Well, I'm just saying
I understand why the horseshoe
is lucky.
11
00:00:27,707 --> 00:00:30,139
But I'm confused
about the rainbow.
12
00:00:31,874 --> 00:00:34,573
Well, I mean, I guess
you're lucky if you see one,
13
00:00:34,640 --> 00:00:37,840
but a rainbow
in and of itself,
not lucky.
14
00:00:40,573 --> 00:00:42,607
Oh, that's nice.
15
00:00:42,673 --> 00:00:44,773
Well, then don't put
a number on the box
16
00:00:44,840 --> 00:00:46,907
if you don't want
to hear my comments.
17
00:00:49,373 --> 00:00:51,707
Eddie, it is your first day
of summer vacation.
18
00:00:51,773 --> 00:00:53,907
Go back to sleep,
lie diagonal,
19
00:00:53,974 --> 00:00:58,173
feel the thrill
of having your whole body
on a bed for once.
20
00:00:58,240 --> 00:01:00,139
You know
I hate summer vacation.
21
00:01:00,206 --> 00:01:01,707
Oh! Here we go.
No, no.
22
00:01:01,773 --> 00:01:04,406
It's got no structure,
no purpose,
23
00:01:04,473 --> 00:01:06,406
and daylight savings
is relentless.
24
00:01:06,473 --> 00:01:08,473
The sun is still up
at 9 p.m.
25
00:01:08,540 --> 00:01:10,640
I feel so awkward drinking.
26
00:01:15,440 --> 00:01:16,573
That's why I drink
in the basement.
27
00:01:16,640 --> 00:01:18,840
Nobody knows
what time it is.
28
00:01:21,039 --> 00:01:22,073
Think of me.
29
00:01:22,139 --> 00:01:23,573
Hey!
Hey!
30
00:01:23,640 --> 00:01:25,206
Hey! There she is.
31
00:01:25,273 --> 00:01:26,907
What are... Look at you.
Hi, baby.
32
00:01:26,974 --> 00:01:28,874
Hi, honey. Oh, my gosh.
Hi, Dad.
33
00:01:28,940 --> 00:01:31,907
I thought freshman girls
were supposed to gain
15 pounds.
34
00:01:31,974 --> 00:01:34,106
I know.
I drink a ton of rum
every night,
35
00:01:34,173 --> 00:01:36,240
but nothing.
36
00:01:36,306 --> 00:01:37,773
This is such a surprise.
37
00:01:37,840 --> 00:01:39,573
I thought you were gonna
take the train tomorrow.
38
00:01:39,640 --> 00:01:43,273
Oh, I was,
but I caught a ride home
with Doug.
39
00:01:43,340 --> 00:01:46,173
Hey, hey, Mr. Stark,
Mrs. Stark.
40
00:01:46,240 --> 00:01:47,940
I thought you two broke up.
41
00:01:48,006 --> 00:01:49,773
Oh, we did,
but we got back together
in the van
42
00:01:49,840 --> 00:01:51,473
on the ride home.
43
00:01:54,240 --> 00:01:56,373
Fantastic.
44
00:01:56,440 --> 00:01:59,840
I think Allison and I
will always be
those kind of lovers.
45
00:01:59,907 --> 00:02:02,974
You know,
we love each other.
46
00:02:03,039 --> 00:02:06,306
Then we go away,
and we love other people,
47
00:02:06,373 --> 00:02:10,073
and we come back
to love each other again.
48
00:02:10,139 --> 00:02:12,640
Doug, I'm about
to break your hands.
49
00:02:13,673 --> 00:02:15,273
I'm sorry.
50
00:02:15,340 --> 00:02:16,874
I have to go to work, honey.
You're not pregnant, right?
51
00:02:16,940 --> 00:02:17,940
No.
Okay. Great.
52
00:02:18,006 --> 00:02:21,073
I love you.
Bye.
53
00:02:21,139 --> 00:02:24,773
Anyway, Daddy,
Doug is having a problem
with his van,
54
00:02:24,840 --> 00:02:28,240
and I was sort of thinking
that maybe he could stay here
55
00:02:28,306 --> 00:02:30,173
until the part
that he needs arrives.
56
00:02:30,240 --> 00:02:31,707
And how long
would that be?
57
00:02:31,773 --> 00:02:33,607
Seven to 12 business days.
58
00:02:33,673 --> 00:02:35,540
Oh, no, no.
That's a no-go, Doug.
59
00:02:35,607 --> 00:02:37,540
You see, because
there are barely enough
toilets in here
60
00:02:37,607 --> 00:02:39,607
to accommodate me.
61
00:02:39,673 --> 00:02:42,707
Well, actually, sir,
I was gonna stay
outside in the van,
62
00:02:42,773 --> 00:02:44,640
and as far as
the facilities go,
63
00:02:44,707 --> 00:02:46,273
I eat very clean,
64
00:02:46,340 --> 00:02:50,607
so I metabolize about 93%
of what enters my body orally.
65
00:02:51,607 --> 00:02:52,874
You know?
66
00:02:57,273 --> 00:03:00,540
I'm not even gonna ask
how you measure that.
67
00:03:00,607 --> 00:03:01,807
Well, I could teach you,
68
00:03:01,874 --> 00:03:05,306
if you have some baggies
and a postal scale. Huh?
69
00:03:05,373 --> 00:03:08,206
No, Doug.
Will you wait for us outside?
70
00:03:08,273 --> 00:03:09,840
What are you... What...
71
00:03:09,907 --> 00:03:11,640
Daddy, please.
72
00:03:11,707 --> 00:03:13,940
He'll sleep in the van,
and I'll be in here,
73
00:03:14,006 --> 00:03:15,707
and we'll just hang out.
74
00:03:15,773 --> 00:03:16,907
I promise.
75
00:03:16,974 --> 00:03:19,173
You won't even know
he's here.
76
00:03:23,773 --> 00:03:25,740
Fine!
Yes.
77
00:03:25,807 --> 00:03:27,974
Uh, I couldn't help
but overhear
the good news.
78
00:03:28,039 --> 00:03:29,507
Thank you, sir.
79
00:03:29,573 --> 00:03:33,640
Um, do you have
a three-pronged outlet
for my heat lamp?
80
00:03:33,707 --> 00:03:35,840
I got, like,
some chickens outside
81
00:03:35,907 --> 00:03:38,573
that are three days away
from hatching.
82
00:03:46,006 --> 00:03:47,006
* All right!
83
00:03:47,073 --> 00:03:48,073
* Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!
84
00:03:48,139 --> 00:03:50,106
Good morning.
85
00:03:50,173 --> 00:03:52,740
Sweetie,
you're on summer vacation.
86
00:03:52,807 --> 00:03:55,106
Why are you still dressed
like a vice-principal?
87
00:03:55,173 --> 00:03:58,840
Well, I still have
a lot of forms to fill out,
88
00:03:58,907 --> 00:04:02,240
and the uniform keeps me
on my game.
89
00:04:02,306 --> 00:04:06,907
But I am paying homage
to summer by sporting
a thinner sock.
90
00:04:06,974 --> 00:04:09,940
Hey, sweetie, look,
I know you're working
on your thesis,
91
00:04:10,006 --> 00:04:11,406
but would you mind
if I use your desk
92
00:04:11,473 --> 00:04:13,139
for, like, 10 minutes
this morning?
93
00:04:13,206 --> 00:04:14,473
Desk?
94
00:04:14,540 --> 00:04:17,773
Yeah. Your desk
in the living room.
95
00:04:17,840 --> 00:04:19,974
Oh. You mean
my puzzle table?
96
00:04:22,139 --> 00:04:24,607
Sweetie, we, uh...
We bought you that desk
97
00:04:24,673 --> 00:04:25,974
so you could
work on your thesis
98
00:04:26,039 --> 00:04:28,306
about the French Revolution,
remember?
99
00:04:28,373 --> 00:04:30,440
Oh, yeah, yeah,
right, right.
Yeah. I know.
100
00:04:30,507 --> 00:04:33,874
It turns out I don't
really get my best work done
at the desk per se.
101
00:04:35,673 --> 00:04:36,807
It's all yours.
102
00:04:36,874 --> 00:04:37,974
Okay.
103
00:04:38,039 --> 00:04:39,373
Where you going?
104
00:04:39,440 --> 00:04:42,106
I'm going back to bed.
105
00:04:42,173 --> 00:04:43,874
You sick?
No, I'm fine.
106
00:04:43,940 --> 00:04:47,440
Sometimes, I go back to sleep
after you leave for work.
107
00:04:48,940 --> 00:04:50,773
Really?
Yeah.
108
00:04:50,840 --> 00:04:53,006
You get up early, dude.
109
00:05:03,640 --> 00:05:05,974
Thank you.
Looks delicious.
110
00:05:06,039 --> 00:05:09,306
Oh, yeah.
Doug makes the best blended
infused teas.
111
00:05:09,373 --> 00:05:11,006
Yeah.
The secret is fresh mint.
112
00:05:11,073 --> 00:05:13,607
I grow my own
right on the dashboard.
113
00:05:14,707 --> 00:05:16,106
Hey.
114
00:05:16,173 --> 00:05:18,273
Hey, Jeff.
Hey, Allison.
115
00:05:18,340 --> 00:05:19,540
Friend.
116
00:05:20,273 --> 00:05:22,807
What's going on, honey?
117
00:05:22,874 --> 00:05:25,607
Mmm. I was just about
to start my walk
118
00:05:25,673 --> 00:05:28,406
when I heard
this really intense
whirring sound.
119
00:05:28,473 --> 00:05:32,807
You know I can't say no
to anything that comes out
of a blender.
120
00:05:32,874 --> 00:05:35,473
Yeah. Hey, do you
121
00:05:35,540 --> 00:05:38,173
plan on getting
any work done today, or...
122
00:05:38,240 --> 00:05:39,640
Oh, I am working.
123
00:05:39,707 --> 00:05:41,740
This is part of my process.
124
00:05:41,807 --> 00:05:43,039
In 19th century Paris,
125
00:05:43,106 --> 00:05:44,940
the bohemian lifestyle
was a direct result
126
00:05:45,006 --> 00:05:48,707
of the disenchantment
with the ruling class.
127
00:05:48,773 --> 00:05:51,640
This drink is way too thick
for the straw.
128
00:05:53,740 --> 00:05:55,306
What's wrong?
129
00:05:55,373 --> 00:05:57,874
Oh, oh, nothing.
It's just...
130
00:05:57,940 --> 00:05:59,373
You know, sweetie,
on the surface,
131
00:05:59,440 --> 00:06:04,039
this doesn't really
look like a traditional
academic setting.
132
00:06:04,106 --> 00:06:07,006
This actually looks more
like a bunch of lazy people
133
00:06:07,073 --> 00:06:09,373
living outside of a van.
134
00:06:09,440 --> 00:06:11,373
But, hey, hey,
what do I know, right?
135
00:06:11,440 --> 00:06:13,707
(SHUSHING)
Hey!
136
00:06:13,773 --> 00:06:15,240
What are you doing?
It's cool, man.
137
00:06:15,306 --> 00:06:17,206
Just give in to my touch.
138
00:06:17,273 --> 00:06:18,306
No!
139
00:06:20,240 --> 00:06:21,273
No.
140
00:06:22,940 --> 00:06:24,440
No!
141
00:06:24,507 --> 00:06:25,907
I got to go.
142
00:06:28,106 --> 00:06:30,740
Wow. Your gay brother's
really uptight.
143
00:06:38,273 --> 00:06:39,773
What happened?
144
00:06:43,073 --> 00:06:44,840
Your Dad cut the juice.
145
00:06:44,907 --> 00:06:46,173
Not cool.
146
00:06:47,974 --> 00:06:49,006
I'll go talk to him.
147
00:06:49,073 --> 00:06:50,507
No, no, no.
I'll talk to him.
148
00:06:50,573 --> 00:06:53,974
I sense
we had a pretty strong
spiritual connection.
149
00:06:54,039 --> 00:06:56,306
I don't think you do.
150
00:06:56,373 --> 00:06:57,874
You know what? Let me.
151
00:06:57,940 --> 00:06:59,740
I'm pretty good
at conflict resolution.
152
00:06:59,807 --> 00:07:02,907
I watch, like, three hours
of judge shows a day.
153
00:07:05,473 --> 00:07:07,006
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
154
00:07:08,306 --> 00:07:09,673
Hey, Eddie.
155
00:07:11,640 --> 00:07:15,373
I was wondering if you might
plug our blender back in.
156
00:07:15,440 --> 00:07:16,874
How about no?
157
00:07:18,473 --> 00:07:20,340
Look. I know you're
probably upset
158
00:07:20,406 --> 00:07:23,540
that Allison has taken
a lover with a van.
159
00:07:23,607 --> 00:07:25,974
But I got to tell you,
160
00:07:26,039 --> 00:07:29,707
I've been with a lot of guys
in a lot of vans,
161
00:07:29,773 --> 00:07:32,306
and that one's
actually pretty nice.
162
00:07:33,640 --> 00:07:35,874
We get it.
You're a dirty girl.
163
00:07:39,206 --> 00:07:42,874
All I am saying is,
Doug's a great guy.
164
00:07:42,940 --> 00:07:44,773
Allison's happy.
165
00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:46,907
You must remember
what it was like to be young
166
00:07:46,974 --> 00:07:48,840
and in love in the summer.
167
00:07:48,907 --> 00:07:50,940
Well, I do have
one nice memory
168
00:07:51,006 --> 00:07:54,306
of Joy and me
at a water park in 1982.
169
00:07:54,373 --> 00:07:57,073
She lost her tube top
going down the Splash-alanche.
170
00:07:57,139 --> 00:07:59,039
There you go.
171
00:07:59,106 --> 00:08:01,240
Come outside.
Have a drink with us.
172
00:08:01,306 --> 00:08:02,306
It's summertime.
173
00:08:02,373 --> 00:08:03,406
I hate summertime.
174
00:08:03,473 --> 00:08:04,907
Maybe you should
just try to relax.
175
00:08:04,974 --> 00:08:06,039
No.
Why not?
176
00:08:06,106 --> 00:08:08,807
Because I don't know how.
177
00:08:08,874 --> 00:08:11,740
Okay? Is that
what you want to hear?
178
00:08:11,807 --> 00:08:13,874
I don't know how to relax.
179
00:08:14,874 --> 00:08:16,273
Now, please,
180
00:08:17,139 --> 00:08:18,940
just leave me alone.
181
00:08:20,406 --> 00:08:24,006
You know what?
I can't do that.
182
00:08:24,073 --> 00:08:28,006
Because I know that inside
that mean and hairy man
183
00:08:32,340 --> 00:08:35,940
is a slightly less mean
but just as hairy little boy
184
00:08:41,173 --> 00:08:43,773
who wants to
come outside and play.
185
00:08:46,173 --> 00:08:48,673
Come outside and play,
little Eddie.
186
00:09:00,306 --> 00:09:03,173
Okay. Good. Good.
187
00:09:03,240 --> 00:09:04,974
Okay. Now.
188
00:09:06,173 --> 00:09:08,273
I'm gonna plug
this back in.
189
00:09:08,840 --> 00:09:10,173
Okay?
190
00:09:12,340 --> 00:09:13,974
(BLENDER WHIRRING)
191
00:09:14,039 --> 00:09:15,540
DOUG: Yes!
ALLISON: That's it, baby.
192
00:09:15,607 --> 00:09:16,974
(ALLISON AND DOUG LAUGHING)
193
00:09:17,039 --> 00:09:19,240
Now, you're gonna
take my hand,
194
00:09:19,306 --> 00:09:21,874
and we're gonna go outside.
195
00:09:21,940 --> 00:09:23,974
But I'm not wearing shoes.
196
00:09:25,607 --> 00:09:27,573
Where we're going
197
00:09:27,640 --> 00:09:29,440
you don't need shoes.
198
00:09:31,440 --> 00:09:33,440
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO)
199
00:10:05,240 --> 00:10:07,907
What is that,
some kind of marinade?
200
00:10:07,974 --> 00:10:09,974
It's a Brazilian dry rub.
201
00:10:12,106 --> 00:10:13,306
Uh-huh.
202
00:10:26,173 --> 00:10:27,406
Skynyrd.
203
00:10:28,507 --> 00:10:30,373
I love Lynyrd Skynyrd.
204
00:10:31,707 --> 00:10:32,773
They're like Zeppelin for
205
00:10:32,840 --> 00:10:34,507
rednecks.
Rednecks.
206
00:10:38,874 --> 00:10:39,940
Yes.
207
00:10:52,273 --> 00:10:55,173
High beams, man,
high beams!
208
00:10:56,540 --> 00:10:58,540
(EDDIE CONTINUES
PLAYING DRUMS)
209
00:11:07,540 --> 00:11:08,607
Morning!
210
00:11:08,673 --> 00:11:09,874
(GASPS)
211
00:11:11,607 --> 00:11:14,173
If they've eaten
all my French bread pizza,
212
00:11:14,240 --> 00:11:16,740
someone's going to hell
on a rocket!
213
00:11:17,440 --> 00:11:19,073
Son of a...
214
00:11:19,139 --> 00:11:22,673
I did not know that
you could brush your teeth
with dirt.
215
00:11:24,240 --> 00:11:25,773
Hey, sunshine.
216
00:11:29,306 --> 00:11:30,940
Eddie.
Yeah?
217
00:11:31,006 --> 00:11:34,073
What happened in here?
218
00:11:34,139 --> 00:11:38,673
Well, I have to say
this does look a lot messier
than it did in the dark.
219
00:11:38,740 --> 00:11:40,974
But, listen,
I do not want you
to lift a finger
220
00:11:41,039 --> 00:11:43,139
because I'm gonna
hit this really hard
221
00:11:43,206 --> 00:11:44,840
in, like, seven hours.
222
00:11:44,907 --> 00:11:46,173
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Careful.
223
00:11:46,240 --> 00:11:48,440
You're about to
walk into pudding.
224
00:11:48,507 --> 00:11:50,406
All right.
I'm gonna have to crash.
225
00:11:50,473 --> 00:11:52,373
Night-night, everybody.
226
00:11:55,473 --> 00:11:57,340
Sweetie.
227
00:11:57,406 --> 00:11:59,807
Hey, I haven't had a chance
to catch up with you
since you got home.
228
00:11:59,874 --> 00:12:01,507
Do you want to have
a little cup of coffee
with me
229
00:12:01,573 --> 00:12:02,607
before I go to work?
Yeah.
230
00:12:02,673 --> 00:12:04,540
That'd be great.
All right.
231
00:12:04,607 --> 00:12:06,540
Okay. So, freshman year.
232
00:12:06,607 --> 00:12:08,740
I want you to
tell me everything.
233
00:12:08,807 --> 00:12:11,707
I want to know
who's sleeping
with their professor.
234
00:12:11,773 --> 00:12:14,473
I want to know
which girls you hate.
235
00:12:14,540 --> 00:12:15,773
Tell me.
236
00:12:21,340 --> 00:12:22,974
Okay.
237
00:12:23,039 --> 00:12:25,273
Okay. That was good.
Good talk.
238
00:12:25,874 --> 00:12:27,473
Yeah. Good talk.
239
00:12:31,373 --> 00:12:33,106
And I'm in pudding.
240
00:12:42,406 --> 00:12:45,306
Okay. Fire on the lawn.
This can't be legal.
241
00:12:46,940 --> 00:12:48,440
No disrespect, Mrs. Stark,
242
00:12:48,507 --> 00:12:51,240
but fire was here
long before man's laws.
243
00:12:53,240 --> 00:12:55,540
Come on, Mom. Sit down,
grab a couch cushion.
244
00:12:55,607 --> 00:12:58,740
Oh, my God!
My couch cushion!
245
00:12:58,807 --> 00:13:01,440
Hey, maybe we should
play Joy her song.
246
00:13:01,507 --> 00:13:02,740
Yeah.
Oh! You've written a song.
247
00:13:02,807 --> 00:13:03,807
Yeah.
Okay.
248
00:13:03,874 --> 00:13:06,039
It's called Shalamar.
Great.
249
00:13:06,106 --> 00:13:09,273
It's about fiery woman
named Joy
250
00:13:09,340 --> 00:13:12,273
and her fiery horse
Shalamar.
251
00:13:15,406 --> 00:13:17,440
All right.
Hit it, Doug-mo.
252
00:13:20,773 --> 00:13:23,840
* It was a sad
and lonely sunset
253
00:13:25,340 --> 00:13:28,073
* A whisper of a star
254
00:13:28,139 --> 00:13:31,874
* There was a fiery woman
named Joy
255
00:13:31,940 --> 00:13:34,006
* And her fiery horse named
256
00:13:34,073 --> 00:13:36,340
ALL: * Shalamar
257
00:13:37,273 --> 00:13:39,273
Doug-mo!
258
00:13:39,340 --> 00:13:41,640
(BEAT IMITATING
HORSE GALLOPING)
259
00:13:44,974 --> 00:13:47,039
Okay, okay.
260
00:13:47,106 --> 00:13:49,840
Okay.
That was very touching.
261
00:13:49,907 --> 00:13:51,440
Also very loud.
262
00:13:52,607 --> 00:13:54,540
I am starving, okay?
263
00:13:54,607 --> 00:13:56,273
I haven't eaten anything
all day, so come on.
264
00:13:56,340 --> 00:13:57,940
Let's go have dinner,
everybody.
265
00:13:58,006 --> 00:13:59,139
Oh. You know what?
266
00:13:59,206 --> 00:14:01,573
We had lunch at,
like, 5 p.m.
267
00:14:01,640 --> 00:14:04,240
Hey. Hey. Guess what?
I had couscous.
268
00:14:04,306 --> 00:14:06,573
FYI, it's not rice.
269
00:14:06,640 --> 00:14:08,273
It's tiny pasta.
270
00:14:08,340 --> 00:14:09,974
And there's some more
if you want some.
271
00:14:10,039 --> 00:14:11,640
There should be some
on the counter.
272
00:14:11,707 --> 00:14:13,473
It has cranberries in it.
273
00:14:14,240 --> 00:14:17,306
* Cranberries
274
00:14:17,373 --> 00:14:20,440
ALL: * Cranberries
275
00:14:20,507 --> 00:14:23,840
* I got cranberries
at the store
276
00:14:23,907 --> 00:14:27,006
* Made couscous at 4:00
277
00:14:27,073 --> 00:14:29,907
* I hope
I haven't lost you
278
00:14:29,974 --> 00:14:33,940
* It's teeny, tiny pasta
279
00:14:34,006 --> 00:14:35,974
(EDDIE AND DOUG PLAYING)
280
00:14:36,039 --> 00:14:39,807
* Cranberries
281
00:14:39,874 --> 00:14:41,974
* Well,
you know your pasta *
282
00:14:42,039 --> 00:14:44,773
Hey. Hold on.
Is anyone writing
this down?
283
00:14:47,240 --> 00:14:48,240
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
284
00:14:48,306 --> 00:14:49,340
Yeah?
285
00:14:49,406 --> 00:14:51,373
Hey, Jeff.
Hey, Joy.
286
00:14:51,440 --> 00:14:54,473
Listen, apparently,
Steph and Eddie
and the kids
287
00:14:54,540 --> 00:14:58,340
aren't gonna be eating dinner
till sometime
tomorrow morning.
288
00:14:58,406 --> 00:15:00,306
The only thing left
in my kitchen
289
00:15:00,373 --> 00:15:03,840
is the five packets
of soy sauce
that came with the house.
290
00:15:03,907 --> 00:15:06,874
So I was wondering
if I could join you.
291
00:15:06,940 --> 00:15:08,473
Oh, yeah, please.
Okay.
292
00:15:08,540 --> 00:15:09,840
I haven't had a meal
with another adult
293
00:15:09,907 --> 00:15:13,974
since my wife started behaving
like she lives in Spain.
294
00:15:14,039 --> 00:15:16,940
I know, it's just...
It's crazy, right?
I'm not the only one.
295
00:15:17,006 --> 00:15:19,673
I mean,
I wanted Eddie to
enjoy the summer,
296
00:15:19,740 --> 00:15:21,240
but this is just annoying.
297
00:15:21,306 --> 00:15:24,507
He's walking around
with this strange look
on his face.
298
00:15:24,573 --> 00:15:27,440
His lips are curled up,
and you can see his teeth.
299
00:15:27,507 --> 00:15:28,974
I don't know.
300
00:15:30,073 --> 00:15:31,540
He's smiling?
301
00:15:32,974 --> 00:15:34,006
Yeah.
302
00:15:34,073 --> 00:15:35,340
(EXCLAIMS IN DISGUST)
303
00:15:35,406 --> 00:15:37,907
Well, at least Eddie
will go back to work.
304
00:15:37,974 --> 00:15:39,507
You know,
I'm starting realize
305
00:15:39,573 --> 00:15:42,773
that Steph
doesn't do anything
and she never has.
306
00:15:42,840 --> 00:15:44,306
It's like
all she does is sleep
307
00:15:44,373 --> 00:15:46,707
and look at
the VW website.
308
00:15:46,773 --> 00:15:50,373
She has built
her own Jetta 147 times.
309
00:15:52,006 --> 00:15:54,406
You know what
the worst part about it is?
310
00:15:54,473 --> 00:15:56,707
I can't get that song
Shalamar out of my head.
311
00:15:56,773 --> 00:15:59,573
Oh, right.
That song about me
and my horse?
312
00:16:05,673 --> 00:16:08,373
They told me that
Shalamar was my horse.
313
00:16:09,974 --> 00:16:11,874
Oh, that really sucks!
314
00:16:16,406 --> 00:16:17,940
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
315
00:16:23,507 --> 00:16:25,373
Hey.
Hey, brother man.
316
00:16:26,473 --> 00:16:28,306
Is Steph around?
317
00:16:28,373 --> 00:16:30,640
Because the gang
wants to play Frisbee golf
around the neighborhood.
318
00:16:30,707 --> 00:16:31,940
I'm sorry, Eddie,
319
00:16:32,006 --> 00:16:34,306
but Steph cannot come out
and play today.
320
00:16:34,373 --> 00:16:35,573
Wow!
321
00:16:35,640 --> 00:16:37,840
Captain Bringdown
has spoken.
322
00:16:38,707 --> 00:16:39,840
It's summertime.
323
00:16:39,907 --> 00:16:42,039
Come on. Lighten up.
324
00:16:42,106 --> 00:16:46,006
No, you know,
she's got $68,000
in student loans,
325
00:16:46,073 --> 00:16:48,773
and so far,
the only thing she's written
in her thesis is,
326
00:16:48,840 --> 00:16:50,740
"The French Revolution was..."
327
00:16:50,807 --> 00:16:53,373
And then there's a doodle
of some kind of space man.
328
00:16:53,440 --> 00:16:55,306
Well, so what?
I mean, come on.
329
00:16:55,373 --> 00:16:57,707
What do you really think
her earning potential is
anyway?
330
00:16:57,773 --> 00:17:00,039
I really can't imagine
The History
of the Powdered Wig
331
00:17:00,106 --> 00:17:01,373
By Steph Woodcock
332
00:17:01,440 --> 00:17:04,473
flying off the shelves
like Harry Potter.
333
00:17:04,540 --> 00:17:06,540
It's not about
the money, Eddie.
334
00:17:06,607 --> 00:17:08,673
She's got to learn
to finish what she starts.
335
00:17:08,740 --> 00:17:09,974
Oh, okay. I get it.
336
00:17:10,039 --> 00:17:12,306
So you're everyone's
vice-principal.
337
00:17:12,373 --> 00:17:13,673
Hey. That's not fair.
338
00:17:13,740 --> 00:17:15,773
All right. Well, listen.
I'm gonna tell you something.
339
00:17:15,840 --> 00:17:17,940
You may find this
hard to believe,
340
00:17:18,006 --> 00:17:21,340
but you and I,
we're pretty similar.
341
00:17:21,406 --> 00:17:23,073
Of course, you're shorter,
girlie-voiced,
342
00:17:23,139 --> 00:17:26,940
and you have
the tiniest little hands
I've ever seen on a man.
343
00:17:29,607 --> 00:17:31,039
What was the similar part?
344
00:17:31,106 --> 00:17:32,440
Okay.
345
00:17:32,507 --> 00:17:35,139
You and I,
we're both pretty uptight,
you know,
346
00:17:35,206 --> 00:17:36,740
tightly wound.
347
00:17:36,807 --> 00:17:39,940
I mean, before,
I wasn't even able to
enjoy summer vacation.
348
00:17:40,006 --> 00:17:41,406
But after Steph came over,
349
00:17:41,473 --> 00:17:45,306
I'm twirlin' around
on a hilltop
like Julie Andrews.
350
00:17:45,373 --> 00:17:49,273
Listen, my point is,
you don't want
to change that girl.
351
00:17:49,340 --> 00:17:50,907
She's good for you.
352
00:17:50,974 --> 00:17:52,840
She might not be ambitious,
353
00:17:52,907 --> 00:17:55,173
but she's fun and spirited.
354
00:17:56,240 --> 00:17:57,773
And you're not.
355
00:18:00,039 --> 00:18:01,840
Okay, think about it.
356
00:18:03,740 --> 00:18:05,673
(DOOR CLOSING)
357
00:18:05,740 --> 00:18:08,807
Legend has it
he died in the cornfield,
358
00:18:08,874 --> 00:18:13,306
but some people say
he survived
that silo explosion.
359
00:18:13,373 --> 00:18:17,306
I even heard a rumor
that he settled down
around these parts
360
00:18:17,373 --> 00:18:19,907
on a street
very much like this,
361
00:18:21,106 --> 00:18:24,106
and every year
around this time,
362
00:18:24,173 --> 00:18:26,373
he comes back,
363
00:18:26,440 --> 00:18:28,340
looking for a warm fire
364
00:18:28,406 --> 00:18:29,707
and wondering,
365
00:18:29,773 --> 00:18:32,373
(ALL SCREAMING)
"Who took my hand?"
366
00:18:32,440 --> 00:18:34,907
Okay. You got me.
You got me.
367
00:18:34,974 --> 00:18:37,006
Good one. Good one.
368
00:18:37,073 --> 00:18:38,139
JOY: Hello.
369
00:18:38,206 --> 00:18:39,540
Oh, hey.
370
00:18:39,607 --> 00:18:41,907
Jeff, what the hell
are you doing here?
371
00:18:41,974 --> 00:18:44,507
I mean, I thought
we both agreed
that this was ridiculous.
372
00:18:44,573 --> 00:18:47,173
Well, it was
until I had a birch beer
373
00:18:47,240 --> 00:18:49,940
and heard a ghost story.
374
00:18:50,006 --> 00:18:51,807
Hey, Doug,
do your thing.
375
00:18:51,874 --> 00:18:54,073
Just give in to my touch,
let your shoulders breathe.
376
00:18:54,139 --> 00:18:56,940
All right.
Back off, Doug.
377
00:18:57,006 --> 00:18:59,340
Why do you bring
anger here, Joy?
378
00:19:00,507 --> 00:19:02,340
Why do I bring anger here?
379
00:19:02,406 --> 00:19:06,106
Eddie, I have been
killing myself
at work every day
380
00:19:06,173 --> 00:19:09,073
while you all have been
doing drum circles
381
00:19:09,139 --> 00:19:12,273
and eating couscous
with cranberries.
382
00:19:12,340 --> 00:19:13,707
* Cranberries
383
00:19:17,640 --> 00:19:18,974
All right.
384
00:19:19,940 --> 00:19:22,540
Wait a minute.
This is what you wanted.
385
00:19:22,607 --> 00:19:23,907
You wanted me
to have fun.
386
00:19:23,974 --> 00:19:26,240
I know,
but it's not fair.
387
00:19:26,306 --> 00:19:28,206
I mean, I have had
to go to work,
388
00:19:28,273 --> 00:19:30,673
and it is hard enough
without having to pass by
a production of Hair
389
00:19:30,740 --> 00:19:32,507
every time to do it.
390
00:19:33,540 --> 00:19:35,106
I'm jealous, okay?
391
00:19:35,173 --> 00:19:36,206
So join us.
392
00:19:36,273 --> 00:19:38,306
I have a job. I can't.
393
00:19:38,373 --> 00:19:39,373
Says who?
394
00:19:39,440 --> 00:19:42,006
Says the three banks
who own our house.
395
00:19:42,073 --> 00:19:43,139
Uh-huh.
396
00:19:43,206 --> 00:19:44,974
Listen to me.
397
00:19:45,073 --> 00:19:48,707
Summer vacation is
a state of mind, Joy.
398
00:19:48,773 --> 00:19:50,607
Come on.
It's just one night.
399
00:19:50,673 --> 00:19:52,607
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
400
00:19:52,673 --> 00:19:54,840
Do not pick up that phone.
401
00:19:54,907 --> 00:19:55,940
Don't do it.
402
00:19:56,006 --> 00:19:57,840
Come on. It's Friday.
403
00:19:59,240 --> 00:20:00,707
It's Tuesday.
404
00:20:07,240 --> 00:20:08,974
(RINGING CONTINUES)
405
00:20:10,006 --> 00:20:11,406
You serious?
406
00:20:12,240 --> 00:20:13,607
Mom, no. Don't answer it.
407
00:20:13,673 --> 00:20:15,206
We want you to
hang out with us.
408
00:20:15,273 --> 00:20:16,507
Joy, come on.
Come on.
409
00:20:16,573 --> 00:20:18,106
(ALL CLAMORING)
410
00:20:18,173 --> 00:20:20,673
Listen. Listen.
Listen to me.
411
00:20:20,740 --> 00:20:24,106
Do you remember
quite a few summers ago
412
00:20:24,173 --> 00:20:27,473
when you lost your tube top
at Splash-alanche?
413
00:20:28,440 --> 00:20:29,673
Huh?
414
00:20:29,740 --> 00:20:32,039
Good times.
Yeah.
415
00:20:32,106 --> 00:20:36,173
I want you to lose
your tube top tonight.
416
00:20:40,073 --> 00:20:42,306
Right here in front
of the kids?
417
00:20:42,373 --> 00:20:43,907
Metaphorically.
418
00:20:45,073 --> 00:20:47,373
And then maybe later
literally.
419
00:20:50,173 --> 00:20:52,507
All right.
I'm on summer vacation,
damn it.
420
00:20:52,573 --> 00:20:53,907
Okay.
421
00:20:53,974 --> 00:20:55,773
Yay!
What...
422
00:20:55,840 --> 00:20:58,840
The battery's not
gonna explode, is it?
423
00:20:58,907 --> 00:21:00,807
I don't know. Maybe.
Come on.
424
00:21:00,874 --> 00:21:03,573
Pour me some sangria
and teach me the words
to Shalamar.
425
00:21:03,640 --> 00:21:05,540
Ah! Now you're talkin'.
426
00:21:08,073 --> 00:21:11,373
* It was a sad
and lonely sunset
427
00:21:12,907 --> 00:21:15,540
* A whisper of a star
428
00:21:15,607 --> 00:21:18,673
* There was a fiery woman
named Joy
429
00:21:18,740 --> 00:21:19,807
Jeff!
430
00:21:19,874 --> 00:21:23,006
* And a horse
called Shalamar
431
00:21:23,073 --> 00:21:26,073
ALL: * Shalamar
432
00:21:26,139 --> 00:21:28,773
* Ride, little pony, ride
433
00:21:28,840 --> 00:21:30,607
* Hey, yeah, yeah
434
00:21:30,673 --> 00:21:32,473
* Yeah, that little pony
would ride
435
00:21:32,540 --> 00:21:33,907
* Ooh
436
00:21:33,974 --> 00:21:35,874
* It's a little pony
from heaven *
30864
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