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-=www.ydy.com/bbs=-
proudly presents
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-=www.ydy.com/bbs=-
sync:YTET->�_�
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Til Death
Season2 Episode15
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Til death is filmed in front
of a live studio audience.
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Okay.
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- What's going on?
- Just freshening up the old yapper.
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What?
8
00:00:51,162 --> 00:00:54,184
Pretty fast and loose with
the flosser Mrs. Rockerfeller.
9
00:00:56,910 --> 00:00:59,419
Hey, what do you wanna
do for our anniversary?
10
00:00:59,420 --> 00:01:01,384
- Oh my gosh, is it a year already?
- Mhm.
11
00:01:02,214 --> 00:01:04,468
Hmm, it means I'm due
for another colonoscopy.
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00:01:06,451 --> 00:01:08,943
Well, that was a quick
trip from our anniversary
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00:01:08,944 --> 00:01:10,481
to a camera up your keyster.
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00:01:11,815 --> 00:01:12,936
So what are you gonna do?
15
00:01:12,937 --> 00:01:16,663
Thought I don't have a choice, I'm just gonna
have to stay loose and take it like a man.
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00:01:19,866 --> 00:01:21,789
I meant for our anniversary, jetfrog.
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I don't know, why don't we just,
you know, do the usual thing,
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00:01:26,377 --> 00:01:27,574
have dinner at Mario's.
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00:01:28,366 --> 00:01:31,476
Yeah, Mario's is nice, but we
always get that waiter Jean-Carlo,
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00:01:31,477 --> 00:01:33,435
who hits on me, when
you go to the bathroom.
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00:01:40,984 --> 00:01:44,633
Jean-Carlo hits on me,
when you go to the bathroom.
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00:01:48,378 --> 00:01:49,660
Man� two-timer.
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00:01:50,924 --> 00:01:52,634
I tell you what, let's
just do the romantic thing,
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00:01:52,635 --> 00:01:54,878
we'll just stay at home,
you'll make a nice table,
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00:01:54,879 --> 00:01:56,671
whip me up something special, huh?
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00:01:56,976 --> 00:01:59,540
So your big idea is I cook you dinner?
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00:02:00,921 --> 00:02:05,873
Yeah. And then I'll take you
upstairs and reward you sexually.
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00:02:16,237 --> 00:02:17,808
Or�
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00:02:19,120 --> 00:02:23,174
let me throw this out there. I mean,
what if, and I know this sounds crazy
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00:02:23,175 --> 00:02:27,440
but what if we take the
anniversary off the table.
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I'm listening.
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00:02:36,678 --> 00:02:38,225
I mean, come on, think about it.
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00:02:38,226 --> 00:02:41,197
Every year we try to come up
with something big and special
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00:02:41,198 --> 00:02:42,899
to commemotrate our marriage. I mean
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00:02:42,900 --> 00:02:45,659
it's 22 years already,
what are we trying to prove?
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00:02:50,151 --> 00:02:51,842
You know, I'll have to tell
you, my first instinct is
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00:02:51,843 --> 00:02:54,917
to pop my fist and go woo-hoo,
but I'm a little scared.
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00:02:56,252 --> 00:02:58,966
I mean society puts this
enormous pressure on us,
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00:02:58,967 --> 00:03:01,011
to focus on one day that
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00:03:01,111 --> 00:03:02,971
we have to show our love for
each other, it's ridiculous.
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00:03:02,972 --> 00:03:04,829
It's more than
ridiculous, it's unnatural.
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00:03:05,255 --> 00:03:08,225
I mean, they don't celebrate
anniversaries in the animal kingdom.
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00:03:10,056 --> 00:03:12,153
You know how a zebra knows
he had a good anniversary?
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He didn't get eaten.
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00:03:16,223 --> 00:03:18,079
We should love each other every day,
46
00:03:18,080 --> 00:03:20,538
not just the day that the
calendar says we should.
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00:03:21,021 --> 00:03:23,611
I would follow you into hell right now.
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00:03:26,876 --> 00:03:29,543
Eddie, let's do this.
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00:03:29,544 --> 00:03:31,971
Let's not celebrate our anniversary.
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00:03:31,972 --> 00:03:32,915
Done!
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00:03:33,728 --> 00:03:37,079
Okay, but you're sure, I-I-I� I mean, I just
wanna make sure that, you know, as a couple,
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00:03:37,080 --> 00:03:38,952
we don't have to celebrate
anything on that day.
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00:03:38,953 --> 00:03:42,555
I mean if I want to, I can just go
watch a Sixers game at Kenny's, right?
54
00:03:42,556 --> 00:03:47,110
You, out of the house for a whole evening?
Happy anniversary to me.
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00:03:48,421 --> 00:03:52,073
Okay, this is big, now where
do we stand on presents?
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00:03:52,274 --> 00:03:53,764
I say no presents.
57
00:03:53,865 --> 00:03:56,538
You just saved me
a trip to the dollar store.
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00:03:58,136 --> 00:04:00,840
Oh, what a relief, I have
to tell, you have no idea,
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00:04:00,841 --> 00:04:03,906
how hard it is for me to pretend
that I know what kind crap you like.
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00:04:05,244 --> 00:04:08,776
Not as hard as it is for me to
pretend to like the crap you give me!
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00:04:09,935 --> 00:04:12,472
So, so, all right, so we're doing this?
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We are so doing this.
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00:04:14,417 --> 00:04:17,056
So, okay, it' decided,
Wednesday is just another day?
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00:04:17,433 --> 00:04:19,490
Thursday and yes.
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00:04:23,772 --> 00:04:25,608
Happy "Just Thursday".
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00:04:25,953 --> 00:04:28,622
And to you, my unnaturally
tall life partner.
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00:04:31,138 --> 00:04:33,586
- So, what are you gonna do tonight?
- I'm just gonna hang up with Steph.
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00:04:33,968 --> 00:04:35,393
You two gonna go to your book-club?
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00:04:35,589 --> 00:04:37,440
Actually, we got kicked out.
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00:04:38,272 --> 00:04:41,918
Steph drank too many mojitos and
threw up on this girl Bethanie's
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00:04:41,953 --> 00:04:43,245
copy of the "Lovely Bones".
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00:04:43,346 --> 00:04:46,195
So we're gonna have
our mini book-club here.
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00:04:46,196 --> 00:04:48,623
Okay, super, do me a favor,
if she's looking queezy,
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00:04:48,624 --> 00:04:50,100
aim here away from the middle cushion,
75
00:04:50,101 --> 00:04:51,931
because we're out of flips on that one.
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00:04:52,169 --> 00:04:54,950
Okay, I'm gonna go to Kenny's and watch a little B Ball.
77
00:04:54,951 --> 00:04:56,650
Oh, that reminds me�
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00:05:01,804 --> 00:05:02,795
What's this?
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00:05:02,796 --> 00:05:04,074
Open it.
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00:05:11,416 --> 00:05:14,955
It's a beautiful vintage
dr. J. watch from 1983.
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00:05:16,555 --> 00:05:18,854
Commemorating the sixers' championship season.
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00:05:19,263 --> 00:05:22,512
When we first met, I remember you
saying that you really wanted one of these.
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00:05:22,612 --> 00:05:24,911
You know, you had
the Dr. J. Hair and...
84
00:05:25,021 --> 00:05:25,761
Look.
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00:05:25,771 --> 00:05:28,739
When his arms hit midnight,
looks like he's dunking.
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00:05:29,529 --> 00:05:30,149
Isn't it great?
87
00:05:30,159 --> 00:05:35,097
It's unquestionably magnificent,
yeah,but we said no gifts.
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00:05:35,107 --> 00:05:37,246
Oh,no,no.No,it's not a gift.
89
00:05:37,256 --> 00:05:38,496
It's just a thing.
90
00:05:38,526 --> 00:05:40,945
Well,it feels pretty gifty to me.
91
00:05:41,385 --> 00:05:42,934
Look,I was downtown for lunch
92
00:05:42,964 --> 00:05:45,263
and I passed by this memorabilia
store and I saw it in the window,
93
00:05:45,273 --> 00:05:47,703
I went in and it 'cause
I knew that you would love it.
94
00:05:47,812 --> 00:05:50,581
Remember the time that you bought
me pepper spray at the car wash?
95
00:05:50,611 --> 00:05:51,911
Same thing.
96
00:05:52,391 --> 00:05:54,490
Oh,ok.So this is not a gift?
97
00:05:54,510 --> 00:05:56,189
It's not a gift.
98
00:05:56,599 --> 00:05:58,139
- Not a gift.
- Not a gift.
99
00:05:59,948 --> 00:06:02,127
This is definitely a gift.
100
00:06:03,617 --> 00:06:05,186
But she says it wasn't.
101
00:06:05,236 --> 00:06:09,065
And my wife said that long weekend in denver
with her boss was a business trip.
102
00:06:10,394 --> 00:06:13,603
Now some dude named wayne used my truck.
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00:06:14,573 --> 00:06:15,512
I don't know,man.
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00:06:15,542 --> 00:06:16,992
Something ain't right about this.
105
00:06:17,022 --> 00:06:18,751
Smells funny.
106
00:06:21,880 --> 00:06:25,239
Isn't it possible that she just got
this out of the goodness of her heart?
107
00:06:25,369 --> 00:06:27,098
No,she didn't.
108
00:06:27,198 --> 00:06:30,237
They had a pact to take the
anniversary off the table.
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00:06:30,307 --> 00:06:34,815
Where I come from,you break a pact,
your brother loses a foot.
110
00:06:35,835 --> 00:06:39,873
I just can't believe you convinced your
wife to not celebrate your anniversary.
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00:06:39,903 --> 00:06:41,643
I didn't. It was her idea.
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00:06:41,653 --> 00:06:44,412
It was her idea and you
didn't realize it was a trap?
113
00:06:44,422 --> 00:06:46,261
How could you fall for that,big man?
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00:06:47,710 --> 00:06:48,270
I don't know.
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00:06:48,290 --> 00:06:49,120
It was late at night.
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00:06:49,140 --> 00:06:50,879
My defenses were down.
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00:06:50,969 --> 00:06:54,128
It's the same way she got me
to say yes to whole-wheat pasta.
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00:06:54,958 --> 00:06:58,107
Have you tried that with soy-mato sauce?
119
00:07:05,104 --> 00:07:06,613
Don't you see what's happening here?
120
00:07:06,653 --> 00:07:07,853
She buys you a gift.
121
00:07:07,943 --> 00:07:09,163
You buy her nothing.
122
00:07:09,173 --> 00:07:11,852
Now you're the bad guy who
doesn't care about his anniversary.
123
00:07:11,882 --> 00:07:14,760
You are way uptown without
a cab to get home,man.
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00:07:15,190 --> 00:07:17,390
All right,so now I got to buy her a gift.
125
00:07:17,429 --> 00:07:19,689
Even if you get a gift,
it's gonna be obvious
126
00:07:19,699 --> 00:07:22,488
that you're only getting the gift
because she gave you a gift.
127
00:07:22,608 --> 00:07:24,167
Ok,so I shouldn't buy her a gift.
128
00:07:24,187 --> 00:07:26,126
You got to buy her a gift.
129
00:07:27,786 --> 00:07:30,675
But you said I couldn't buy her a gift.
130
00:07:30,695 --> 00:07:35,043
You got to buy her a gift that makes
her gift look like a piece of crap.
131
00:07:36,273 --> 00:07:37,642
You know what's the best gift,eddie?
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00:07:37,712 --> 00:07:39,471
Something that you make yourself.
133
00:07:39,491 --> 00:07:41,761
Oh,how about you write her a song?
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00:07:41,801 --> 00:07:42,750
Now that's a good idea.
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00:07:42,860 --> 00:07:44,510
Writing a song is a great idea.
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00:07:44,639 --> 00:07:45,189
You know why?
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00:07:45,239 --> 00:07:47,488
There are a million
things that rhyme with joy:
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00:07:47,508 --> 00:07:53,426
Boy,toy,bok choy,
that kid from "the jetsons"... elroy.
139
00:07:54,116 --> 00:07:54,766
Oh,my god!
140
00:07:54,806 --> 00:07:56,575
I'm not even trying right now!
141
00:07:57,335 --> 00:07:59,074
I'm not gonna write her a song.
142
00:07:59,084 --> 00:08:00,104
How about a trip?
143
00:08:00,154 --> 00:08:01,853
Is there anyplace she's been dying to go?
144
00:08:01,963 --> 00:08:04,182
Well,she always wanted
to go snorkeling in hawaii,
145
00:08:04,312 --> 00:08:06,461
but I don't know how to swim,so that's out.
146
00:08:06,561 --> 00:08:08,211
You don't know how to swim?
147
00:08:08,331 --> 00:08:09,510
Didn't you go to camp?
148
00:08:09,530 --> 00:08:11,540
I thought that was a perk of being white.
149
00:08:11,939 --> 00:08:13,889
That and hitch-hiking.
150
00:08:14,319 --> 00:08:15,188
I went to camp.
151
00:08:15,198 --> 00:08:16,938
I just had a bad experience.
152
00:08:16,958 --> 00:08:18,037
And what happened?
153
00:08:18,217 --> 00:08:20,936
Well,I was the only kid there
who didn't know how to swim,
154
00:08:21,066 --> 00:08:22,895
so they put me in this big life vest.
155
00:08:23,005 --> 00:08:24,785
Plus I had to wear this dopey swim cap
156
00:08:24,895 --> 00:08:29,673
that my mom got me for sending in
5 proofs of purchase for orange crush.
157
00:08:31,492 --> 00:08:34,411
So the counselor takes
everybody out and forgets about me,
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00:08:34,521 --> 00:08:36,940
leaves me there in the lake,
floating for hours.
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00:08:36,980 --> 00:08:39,839
He finally comes back to get me
and says that he's sorry,
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00:08:39,949 --> 00:08:43,088
but in that big orange vest
and the white and orange swim cap,
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00:08:43,198 --> 00:08:44,727
he thought I was a buoy.
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00:08:49,006 --> 00:08:49,746
That's it.
163
00:08:49,756 --> 00:08:50,845
I'm gonna teach you how to swim.
164
00:08:50,855 --> 00:08:52,684
No,no.That's not gonna happen,kenny.
165
00:08:52,694 --> 00:08:53,414
Why not?
166
00:08:53,424 --> 00:08:54,764
I'm an incredible swimmer.
167
00:08:54,774 --> 00:08:56,503
I'm the black dolphin.
168
00:08:57,273 --> 00:08:58,412
Eddie,I could help you.
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00:08:58,532 --> 00:09:00,831
I swam in high school,I'm certified for cpr,
170
00:09:00,841 --> 00:09:03,201
and I lifeguarded for two years in college.
171
00:09:04,020 --> 00:09:07,279
There's only two things missing
off your little resume right there,
172
00:09:07,289 --> 00:09:09,838
That's black and that's dolphin.
173
00:09:13,607 --> 00:09:16,466
Uh,listen,as much as
i would like to spend time
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00:09:16,516 --> 00:09:19,175
with both of you in your bathing suits,
175
00:09:19,655 --> 00:09:23,183
I have to say that learning how to
swim is just terrifying for me.
176
00:09:23,213 --> 00:09:27,492
Let me tell you what's terrifying...
the rest of your life.
177
00:09:27,841 --> 00:09:30,151
If you don't even the score with joy right now,
178
00:09:30,251 --> 00:09:31,980
every time she does something nice for you,
179
00:09:32,080 --> 00:09:36,168
it's going to be a reminder of how
inadequate you are as a husband and a lover.
180
00:09:40,647 --> 00:09:42,546
Did I go too far with "lover"?
181
00:09:59,330 --> 00:10:01,109
He was 72?
182
00:10:01,119 --> 00:10:02,349
I know.
183
00:10:03,398 --> 00:10:07,747
And the crazy part is i would have
gotten an "a" in the class anyway.
184
00:10:13,275 --> 00:10:14,404
Come on.You've been here two hours.
185
00:10:14,424 --> 00:10:17,013
We should discuss the book.
186
00:10:17,023 --> 00:10:19,393
Ok.
187
00:10:20,412 --> 00:10:21,382
Ok.
188
00:10:21,532 --> 00:10:25,970
I really enjoyed the kite runner,
by khaled hosseini.
189
00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:27,560
I disagree.
190
00:10:29,309 --> 00:10:34,797
I liked the kites,
but the running not so much.
191
00:10:37,306 --> 00:10:38,895
You didn't read the book,did you?
192
00:10:38,945 --> 00:10:40,265
No.
193
00:10:40,305 --> 00:10:41,984
Me,neither!
194
00:10:46,253 --> 00:10:48,272
Seems funny,though.
195
00:10:50,431 --> 00:10:51,831
Hey,eddie.
196
00:10:51,961 --> 00:10:52,590
Hey,babe.
197
00:10:52,610 --> 00:10:54,780
Do you have the time?
198
00:10:54,829 --> 00:10:55,789
What?
199
00:10:55,839 --> 00:10:57,998
The watch.Let me see the watch.
200
00:10:58,938 --> 00:11:00,647
She told you about the watch,did she?
201
00:11:00,717 --> 00:11:04,016
Oh,god,that's so awesome.
202
00:11:04,036 --> 00:11:06,165
Is your wife something or what?
203
00:11:06,205 --> 00:11:08,564
Oh,she is something,all right.
204
00:11:10,684 --> 00:11:11,493
All right.
205
00:11:11,503 --> 00:11:12,773
I'm gonna head home.
206
00:11:13,433 --> 00:11:14,822
You think you can make it the 20 feet,
207
00:11:14,952 --> 00:11:16,731
or should I have eddie get a wheelbarrow?
208
00:11:23,589 --> 00:11:25,278
How was your evening with the boys?
209
00:11:25,298 --> 00:11:27,777
Oh,it was very enlightening.
210
00:11:28,307 --> 00:11:30,236
Sweetie,don't snack.
211
00:11:30,346 --> 00:11:31,716
Come on.Let me make something nice for you.
212
00:11:31,726 --> 00:11:32,546
No,that's ok.
213
00:11:32,556 --> 00:11:34,915
I think you've done enough for me today.
214
00:11:35,874 --> 00:11:37,234
You seem tense.
215
00:11:37,294 --> 00:11:38,703
- You want me to rub your shoulders?
- No,that's ok.
216
00:11:40,743 --> 00:11:42,112
What's wrong with you?
You love when I do that.
217
00:11:42,122 --> 00:11:43,931
Yeah,but I don't love it tonight,ok?
218
00:11:45,031 --> 00:11:45,921
Ok.
219
00:11:45,931 --> 00:11:47,520
Oh,hey,this is for you.
220
00:11:51,209 --> 00:11:53,338
What is this?
221
00:11:54,647 --> 00:11:57,306
It's a special cleaning kit
for your vintage watch.
222
00:11:57,316 --> 00:11:58,106
I bought it for you today.
223
00:11:58,126 --> 00:12:00,455
I'm learning how to swim.
224
00:12:03,474 --> 00:12:04,134
What?
225
00:12:04,154 --> 00:12:05,553
You heard me,big red.
226
00:12:05,573 --> 00:12:07,853
I am going to learn how to swim
227
00:12:07,873 --> 00:12:13,061
and you will finally be able to
go to hawaii and go snorkeling,ok?
228
00:12:13,081 --> 00:12:14,570
That's amazing.
229
00:12:15,100 --> 00:12:16,389
What brought this on?
230
00:12:16,409 --> 00:12:17,099
Love.
231
00:12:17,229 --> 00:12:18,779
Just a big
232
00:12:19,478 --> 00:12:23,037
enormous love i have for you.
233
00:12:23,837 --> 00:12:26,366
God,I know that this is a big deal for you.
234
00:12:26,406 --> 00:12:28,645
I just... god,I can't thank you enough.
235
00:12:28,665 --> 00:12:30,914
No,you can't,so don't even try.
236
00:12:32,364 --> 00:12:33,423
But I want to...
237
00:12:33,953 --> 00:12:35,612
I'm learning how to swim,darling.
238
00:12:35,662 --> 00:12:37,012
For you,ok?
239
00:12:37,022 --> 00:12:38,141
The end.
240
00:12:38,401 --> 00:12:39,421
Good night.
241
00:12:39,461 --> 00:12:40,830
Aloha.
242
00:12:58,414 --> 00:12:59,484
There she is.
243
00:12:59,494 --> 00:13:02,942
The canvas on which you will be
painting your masterpiece.
244
00:13:03,422 --> 00:13:06,141
Yeah,you know,I took the liberty
of googling "high school pools,"
245
00:13:06,171 --> 00:13:09,690
and they're 60% urine,
20% hair,and 5% other,
246
00:13:09,700 --> 00:13:12,359
and that's just not my
kind of gumbo,jackson,so...
247
00:13:13,099 --> 00:13:14,978
no,no,no,no,no.
248
00:13:14,988 --> 00:13:16,058
Look at me.
249
00:13:16,078 --> 00:13:18,667
The black dolphin's gonna
make sure everything's ok.
250
00:13:18,787 --> 00:13:21,466
Now let's get your high and
shapely ass in that water.
251
00:13:21,506 --> 00:13:22,755
Yeah,I'm looking.
252
00:13:25,604 --> 00:13:28,213
Relax and close your eyes.
253
00:13:30,732 --> 00:13:33,901
Visualize yourself being one with the water.
254
00:13:34,811 --> 00:13:36,490
Water is your friend.
255
00:13:38,489 --> 00:13:39,749
Friend.
256
00:13:41,688 --> 00:13:44,137
Once you learn to trust it,
257
00:13:44,377 --> 00:13:48,296
water will take the weight of
the world off your shoulders
258
00:13:48,546 --> 00:13:52,714
and you will float free.
259
00:13:54,163 --> 00:13:55,873
Free.
260
00:14:02,131 --> 00:14:03,450
Move your arms.
261
00:14:03,460 --> 00:14:05,010
Kick your legs.Kick.
262
00:14:05,019 --> 00:14:07,089
I'm gonna kick your ass!
263
00:14:07,209 --> 00:14:08,128
Help me!
264
00:14:08,438 --> 00:14:09,708
Just stand up.
265
00:14:19,884 --> 00:14:22,133
What the hell did you do that for?
266
00:14:22,483 --> 00:14:25,352
Do not question my methods.
267
00:14:32,000 --> 00:14:34,139
First thing we got to do is to
teach you how to save yourself
268
00:14:34,149 --> 00:14:36,998
when you fall into water
more than 3 feet deep.
269
00:14:37,048 --> 00:14:39,257
That would be a useful skill,yes.
270
00:14:41,286 --> 00:14:42,606
I need you to put your face in the water.
271
00:14:42,616 --> 00:14:44,005
No.
272
00:14:44,055 --> 00:14:45,994
You got to put your face in
the water to make bubbles.
273
00:14:46,044 --> 00:14:47,224
No.
274
00:14:47,344 --> 00:14:49,483
What are you afraid of water for,huh?
275
00:14:49,493 --> 00:14:50,973
You afraid of this,huh?
276
00:14:53,422 --> 00:14:54,361
No.
277
00:14:54,371 --> 00:14:55,421
It's like rain,right?
278
00:14:55,461 --> 00:14:56,740
Are you afraid of rain?
279
00:14:57,130 --> 00:14:57,950
No.
280
00:14:58,520 --> 00:14:59,310
Silly.
281
00:14:59,369 --> 00:15:00,899
Of course it's silly.
282
00:15:01,449 --> 00:15:02,968
It's just sprinkles,right?
283
00:15:07,746 --> 00:15:09,366
Why would you do that again?
284
00:15:09,496 --> 00:15:11,855
Do not question my methods,ok?
285
00:15:11,865 --> 00:15:13,324
Now we got to teach you
to roll over and float.
286
00:15:13,334 --> 00:15:14,274
- Come here.
- What?
287
00:15:14,474 --> 00:15:18,932
Come on.We got to float.We've got to float.
We've got to float.Come on now.
288
00:15:18,942 --> 00:15:20,232
Put your arms out.Airplane.
289
00:15:20,252 --> 00:15:21,121
Be an airplane.
290
00:15:21,131 --> 00:15:22,461
Hands out like an airplane.
291
00:15:22,481 --> 00:15:24,060
Head back,head back.
292
00:15:24,110 --> 00:15:25,060
- You're floating.
- Where we going?
293
00:15:25,070 --> 00:15:26,310
Put your head back,head back.
294
00:15:26,320 --> 00:15:27,059
Where we going?
295
00:15:27,069 --> 00:15:28,339
No.
296
00:15:43,143 --> 00:15:44,173
That's it!
297
00:15:44,323 --> 00:15:45,243
That's it!
298
00:15:45,702 --> 00:15:46,822
I can't teach you!
299
00:15:46,862 --> 00:15:48,102
You're gonna kill us both!
300
00:15:49,141 --> 00:15:51,360
We gonna drown to death!
301
00:15:51,420 --> 00:15:54,219
You have stumped the black dolphin!
302
00:15:54,229 --> 00:15:55,929
You're not the black dolphin.
303
00:15:55,989 --> 00:15:57,748
You're a bad dolphin.
304
00:15:57,788 --> 00:15:59,367
Bad dolphin!
305
00:16:14,462 --> 00:16:15,172
There you are.
306
00:16:15,352 --> 00:16:16,711
How was your lesson?
307
00:16:20,540 --> 00:16:23,289
Hey,I'm gonna need to pull the
trigger on this snorkeling thing
308
00:16:23,309 --> 00:16:25,378
because they want us to
fax back a signed waiver
309
00:16:25,408 --> 00:16:26,957
'cause it's stingray season.
310
00:16:27,017 --> 00:16:28,157
Stingray?
311
00:16:28,917 --> 00:16:31,376
The floppy guys with the barbed tail?
312
00:16:36,454 --> 00:16:40,262
They take us on a catamaran and
then take us 10 miles offshore
313
00:16:40,312 --> 00:16:43,761
and then we dive in and we swim
underwater into this cave,
314
00:16:43,811 --> 00:16:46,120
and inside there are thousands of exotic fish.
315
00:16:46,170 --> 00:16:48,249
How awesome does that sound?
316
00:16:48,299 --> 00:16:49,909
Totally awesome.
317
00:16:50,769 --> 00:16:52,178
I can't swim.
318
00:16:53,418 --> 00:16:54,207
- What?
- Yeah.
319
00:16:54,237 --> 00:16:55,217
I can't be near water.
320
00:16:55,267 --> 00:16:57,426
Actually,I shouldn't even be drinking water.
321
00:16:58,066 --> 00:17:02,164
From here on out,it should be just this
and the occasional breakfast beer.
322
00:17:03,994 --> 00:17:05,183
What about our trip?
323
00:17:05,203 --> 00:17:06,723
It's not gonna happen.
324
00:17:07,182 --> 00:17:08,862
So I'm not gonna get to go to hawaii?
325
00:17:08,932 --> 00:17:13,130
No,you are not,but I have something
that you're going to enjoy far more...
326
00:17:13,160 --> 00:17:17,129
the fact that you are,
and always will be,better than me.
327
00:17:19,318 --> 00:17:20,628
What are you talking about?
328
00:17:20,658 --> 00:17:21,737
Oh,come on,joy.
329
00:17:21,787 --> 00:17:22,877
You know what I'm talking about.
330
00:17:22,927 --> 00:17:27,385
We had a pact,and you broke it
when you gave me this dr. J. watch.
331
00:17:27,395 --> 00:17:28,615
Congratulations.
332
00:17:28,745 --> 00:17:33,163
You have now ruined anniversaries,
basketball,and time-telling.
333
00:17:36,132 --> 00:17:40,330
Did you dive headfirst into the shallow end?
334
00:17:40,380 --> 00:17:44,439
Several times,but don't change the subject.
335
00:17:44,569 --> 00:17:45,798
Eddie,I bought you that watch
336
00:17:45,828 --> 00:17:48,607
because i care about you and I
thought that you would like it,
337
00:17:48,647 --> 00:17:50,816
but forgive me if it is more special
338
00:17:50,866 --> 00:17:53,545
or thoughtful than anything
that you've ever given me.
339
00:17:53,555 --> 00:17:56,084
Mm-hmm,and there it is right there.
340
00:17:56,174 --> 00:17:58,204
See,you taking the anniversary off the table
341
00:17:58,274 --> 00:18:01,393
was just a first step in
your twisted little plan.
342
00:18:01,433 --> 00:18:04,231
Maybe I did it because i thought
it would somehow force you
343
00:18:04,241 --> 00:18:06,581
to be romantic once in your life.
344
00:18:06,591 --> 00:18:09,200
If you wanted me to be romantic,
why wouldn't you just tell me?
345
00:18:09,210 --> 00:18:11,059
Because I shouldn't have to tell you.
346
00:18:11,069 --> 00:18:13,518
It's no fun to ask someone to be romantic.
347
00:18:13,538 --> 00:18:16,607
Oh,what's happening right now
is a barrel of laughs.
348
00:18:18,256 --> 00:18:18,756
You know what?
349
00:18:18,766 --> 00:18:22,185
Maybe when I suggested that we
take the anniversary off the table,
350
00:18:22,245 --> 00:18:23,794
I was trying to send you a signal,
351
00:18:23,854 --> 00:18:25,893
hoping that you would say,"absolutely not"
352
00:18:25,913 --> 00:18:28,213
and then sweep me off my feet.
353
00:18:28,233 --> 00:18:30,572
A signal?
What am I,batman?
354
00:18:34,470 --> 00:18:35,800
This is my fault.
355
00:18:35,850 --> 00:18:38,709
I should have just let you take me
to mario's like we do every year.
356
00:18:38,729 --> 00:18:39,968
Yeah,ok,you know what?
357
00:18:40,008 --> 00:18:41,518
- Let's just do that,all right?
- Ok,you know what?
358
00:18:41,528 --> 00:18:42,907
Let's do that.
359
00:18:42,997 --> 00:18:45,906
Maybe one of us'll get lucky
and go home with Jean-Carlo.
360
00:18:49,355 --> 00:18:50,864
Eddie,we're gonna be late
for our reservation.
361
00:18:50,894 --> 00:18:52,364
I know.I left my wallet here.
362
00:18:52,374 --> 00:18:53,333
Just give me a minute.
363
00:18:53,373 --> 00:18:54,413
All right.
364
00:18:59,051 --> 00:19:01,440
Happy anniversary,mr.And mrs.Stark.
365
00:19:01,910 --> 00:19:04,929
May I show the beautiful lady to her table?
366
00:19:08,488 --> 00:19:09,208
Don't be alarmed.
367
00:19:09,228 --> 00:19:12,956
Your husband is about to break the
world record for freestyle loving.
368
00:19:25,322 --> 00:19:27,161
What's going on here,eddie?
369
00:19:27,591 --> 00:19:30,060
Just a little thing called romance.
370
00:19:34,278 --> 00:19:38,597
You know,when I first got the idea
of learning how to swim for you,
371
00:19:38,607 --> 00:19:42,245
it was for all the wrong reasons.
372
00:19:42,705 --> 00:19:48,613
And after we spoke,I realized
that I had to learn how to swim
373
00:19:49,383 --> 00:19:54,501
because I want to take you to
hawaii and I want you to be happy,
374
00:19:54,771 --> 00:19:59,619
and I wouldn't mind seeing
you in a coconut bra.
375
00:20:02,108 --> 00:20:06,796
So this,my love,is for you.
376
00:20:22,681 --> 00:20:23,850
Eddie?
377
00:20:29,468 --> 00:20:30,828
Babe,you ok?
378
00:20:33,427 --> 00:20:34,716
Babe?Eddie!
379
00:20:37,045 --> 00:20:38,305
I'm gonna get you.
380
00:20:38,455 --> 00:20:39,774
Don't help me!
381
00:20:40,374 --> 00:20:41,734
I'm doing this!
382
00:20:42,373 --> 00:20:43,583
Come on,baby.
383
00:20:43,643 --> 00:20:44,512
Come on.You can do it.
384
00:20:45,702 --> 00:20:47,231
You're doing it.
385
00:20:47,271 --> 00:20:48,151
Come on.
386
00:20:48,861 --> 00:20:50,440
Swim.
387
00:20:50,740 --> 00:20:52,080
I'm doing it.
388
00:21:01,126 --> 00:21:02,856
Happy anniversary.
389
00:21:03,565 --> 00:21:05,045
Happy anniversary.
390
00:21:10,293 --> 00:21:12,952
My boy's gonna die in hawaii.
29050
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