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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:11,010 --> 00:00:14,010 ♪Love, exciting and new.♪ 2 00:00:18,560 --> 00:00:21,600 ♪Come aboard, we're expecting you♪ 3 00:00:27,026 --> 00:00:33,026 ♪Love, life's sweetest reward.♪ 4 00:00:34,868 --> 00:00:42,998 ♪Let it flow, it floats back to you♪ 5 00:00:43,084 --> 00:00:51,184 ♪the love boat soon will be making another run.♪ 6 00:00:51,259 --> 00:00:58,769 ♪The love boat promises something for everyone♪ 7 00:00:58,850 --> 00:01:00,980 ♪set a course for adventure♪ 8 00:01:01,060 --> 00:01:05,320 ♪your mind on a new romance♪ 9 00:01:07,942 --> 00:01:13,242 ♪love won't hurt anymore.♪ 10 00:01:15,325 --> 00:01:21,405 ♪It's an open smile on a friendly shore♪ 11 00:01:23,750 --> 00:01:30,760 ♪yes, love .welcome aboard, it's love.♪ 12 00:02:01,120 --> 00:02:03,120 Gopher, where have you been! 13 00:02:04,582 --> 00:02:05,462 My car had a flat tire? 14 00:02:07,377 --> 00:02:08,207 What's in the bag... 15 00:02:08,294 --> 00:02:09,594 Hey, Julie great talking to you, gotta go... 16 00:02:10,296 --> 00:02:11,296 Gopher.... 17 00:02:11,381 --> 00:02:12,051 Keep in touch. 18 00:02:15,426 --> 00:02:16,426 Gopher! 19 00:02:16,511 --> 00:02:17,221 Bye now.... 20 00:02:24,102 --> 00:02:26,772 Miss McCoy, I always enjoy greeting the passengers, but where is yeoman purser 21 00:02:26,855 --> 00:02:28,265 Smith, the officer who is paid to do it? 22 00:02:31,150 --> 00:02:33,190 Uh, sir, maybe his car had a flat tire. 23 00:02:33,278 --> 00:02:34,068 Maybe it didn't. 24 00:02:34,153 --> 00:02:36,613 Maybe it didn't. 25 00:02:44,163 --> 00:02:45,293 Hi, I'm Julie McCoy, your cruise director. 26 00:02:46,833 --> 00:02:48,883 Oh, hello, I'm Cynthia Parker and this is my daughter Anne. 27 00:02:48,960 --> 00:02:49,630 Hello. 28 00:02:51,212 --> 00:02:52,462 She's a little self conscious. 29 00:02:52,547 --> 00:02:54,757 She just had...You know...Cosmetic surgery. 30 00:02:54,841 --> 00:02:58,261 Oh, well, you don't have to worry, we'll have her feeling relaxed in no time. 31 00:02:58,344 --> 00:02:59,264 Thank you. 32 00:02:59,345 --> 00:03:02,965 If you don't mind my asking, who did your nose? 33 00:03:04,142 --> 00:03:06,062 The man upstairs. 34 00:03:06,144 --> 00:03:07,904 You're lucky to live in a doctor's building. 35 00:03:07,979 --> 00:03:09,189 C'mon, Annie. 36 00:03:12,859 --> 00:03:14,319 Listen, did my mom get here yet? 37 00:03:14,402 --> 00:03:15,822 Not yet, but there's still plenty of time. 38 00:03:17,697 --> 00:03:20,157 You know, this is the first real vacation she's had in years.... 39 00:03:20,241 --> 00:03:20,911 Well, since my dad died. 40 00:03:22,619 --> 00:03:24,119 Yeah, I can't wait to meet her. 41 00:03:24,203 --> 00:03:25,253 I have a few things to tell her about her son. 42 00:03:26,247 --> 00:03:27,167 Not her son, her baby. 43 00:03:30,043 --> 00:03:33,303 I mean, she still thinks of me as kind of a little boy with a Teddy bear. 44 00:03:33,379 --> 00:03:34,799 Ooh, like the one tucked in your bed? 45 00:03:36,215 --> 00:03:37,295 Beats sleeping alone..... 46 00:03:37,383 --> 00:03:39,223 Listen, just let me know when my mom gets here, all right? 47 00:03:41,054 --> 00:03:41,764 Issac! 48 00:03:55,610 --> 00:03:57,150 Boy, you sure have a young mother. 49 00:03:57,236 --> 00:03:58,606 I said, you sure have a young mother. 50 00:04:01,115 --> 00:04:03,025 I was just remarking about how young your mother was. 51 00:04:03,117 --> 00:04:05,657 Charlene, what are you doing here? 52 00:04:05,745 --> 00:04:08,665 I got tired of waiting for you in port, so I decided to take a cruise. 53 00:04:11,209 --> 00:04:11,879 Good deciding. 54 00:04:15,254 --> 00:04:16,884 Except one thing...My mom's coming on this cruise too. 55 00:04:18,800 --> 00:04:19,680 That's okay. 56 00:04:19,759 --> 00:04:21,339 I don't mind sharing you with an older woman. 57 00:04:21,928 --> 00:04:22,848 Hello. 58 00:04:26,140 --> 00:04:27,680 I want you to meet gopher. 59 00:04:27,767 --> 00:04:29,727 Gopher this is my girl the one I've been talking about. 60 00:04:29,811 --> 00:04:30,651 Oh. 61 00:04:30,728 --> 00:04:31,398 Hi, hi, Martha. 62 00:04:33,648 --> 00:04:34,358 Helen? Lisa? 63 00:04:36,567 --> 00:04:37,567 Just kidding, just kidding. 64 00:04:37,652 --> 00:04:38,572 This has to be charlene, right? 65 00:04:39,612 --> 00:04:40,362 Hi. 66 00:04:40,446 --> 00:04:41,486 Welcome aboard. 67 00:04:41,572 --> 00:04:43,492 Charlene, uh, I think I better show you to your cabin. 68 00:04:47,286 --> 00:04:48,536 Keep an eye out for my mom? 69 00:04:48,621 --> 00:04:49,751 Sure. 70 00:04:49,831 --> 00:04:52,001 Should I let you know when Martha, Helen and Lisa arrive, too? 71 00:04:52,083 --> 00:04:55,753 Cute....very cute. 72 00:04:57,422 --> 00:04:59,052 Has a pretty blonde about five-seven been looking for me? 73 00:04:59,465 --> 00:05:00,545 No. 74 00:05:00,633 --> 00:05:01,513 How about a brunette, five-foot four? 75 00:05:01,968 --> 00:05:02,718 No. 76 00:05:02,802 --> 00:05:03,722 A redhead? 77 00:05:03,803 --> 00:05:05,563 Four-ten? 78 00:05:09,434 --> 00:05:10,234 Hi. 79 00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:11,350 Welcome aboard. 80 00:05:11,436 --> 00:05:11,846 I'm Julie McCoy. 81 00:05:13,021 --> 00:05:15,311 Well, hello.I'm Millie Washington. 82 00:05:15,398 --> 00:05:18,068 I'm looking for my son, captain Isaac Washington. 83 00:05:18,151 --> 00:05:18,901 Captain Isaac Washington? 84 00:05:18,985 --> 00:05:21,145 Well, give him time, honey. 85 00:05:21,237 --> 00:05:21,897 Give him time. 86 00:05:24,115 --> 00:05:27,285 Listen you know I thought that little rascal would be, kinda here to greet me, you know and 87 00:05:27,368 --> 00:05:29,198 show me around. 88 00:05:29,287 --> 00:05:34,127 Well, he's probably out sorting his supplies for the cruise. 89 00:05:34,208 --> 00:05:35,878 He's probably chasing some pretty girl all over this ship. 90 00:05:37,003 --> 00:05:37,843 Give him time. 91 00:05:37,920 --> 00:05:39,380 Give him time. 92 00:05:45,511 --> 00:05:46,301 Oh, hello! 93 00:05:46,387 --> 00:05:47,217 Hello! 94 00:05:47,305 --> 00:05:48,095 Hello! 95 00:05:48,181 --> 00:05:48,931 Miss Monroe! 96 00:05:49,015 --> 00:05:50,095 Welcome. 97 00:05:50,183 --> 00:05:50,813 Ahh, my darling, darling, Jenny. 98 00:05:51,225 --> 00:05:52,265 Julie..... 99 00:05:52,351 --> 00:05:54,061 Of course, Jackie. 100 00:05:54,145 --> 00:05:56,645 I can't tell you how thrilled I was to be able to squeeze in another performance aboard your 101 00:06:00,359 --> 00:06:02,609 floating nightclub. 102 00:06:02,695 --> 00:06:05,945 You know, I said to my agent, you have simply got to cancel all my other bookings. 103 00:06:07,909 --> 00:06:10,289 By the way, I found you an accompanist. 104 00:06:10,369 --> 00:06:13,329 Wouldn't you know my pianist would come down with the flu the first time in ages I get 105 00:06:13,414 --> 00:06:14,124 a booking. 106 00:06:16,334 --> 00:06:17,294 I mean a great booking. 107 00:06:17,376 --> 00:06:19,416 This may turn into a stroke of luck. 108 00:06:19,504 --> 00:06:21,884 I had to pull a few strings, but the accompanist I found you is dynamite. 109 00:06:24,467 --> 00:06:25,927 Oh, that's wonderful. 110 00:06:26,010 --> 00:06:28,220 You know dear, a good pianist is hard to find....But then, so is a good man... 111 00:06:32,308 --> 00:06:33,348 ♪ A good man ♪ 112 00:06:33,434 --> 00:06:34,274 Hi ya, doll. 113 00:06:34,352 --> 00:06:35,392 Hi..... 114 00:06:35,478 --> 00:06:35,808 Who's the banana? 115 00:06:37,855 --> 00:06:38,645 Lenny kamen. 116 00:06:38,731 --> 00:06:39,481 Mitzi Monroe. 117 00:06:39,565 --> 00:06:40,645 Lenny! 118 00:06:40,733 --> 00:06:41,983 I was just telling mitzi all about you. 119 00:06:42,068 --> 00:06:43,108 Lenny! 120 00:06:43,194 --> 00:06:44,154 What are you doing here? 121 00:06:44,237 --> 00:06:45,107 Is your cage being cleaned? 122 00:06:45,196 --> 00:06:46,986 Well, I see you two already know each other. 123 00:06:48,950 --> 00:06:49,660 Know each other? 124 00:06:50,409 --> 00:06:51,039 Lenny here is my ex. 125 00:06:52,245 --> 00:06:53,285 Julie: Ex-partner? 126 00:06:53,371 --> 00:06:54,001 Ex-partner, ex-husband, ex-everything except ex-citing. 127 00:07:00,253 --> 00:07:01,093 Gee, I'm sorry.... 128 00:07:01,170 --> 00:07:01,960 I didn't know. 129 00:07:02,046 --> 00:07:03,046 Look, it's no big thing. 130 00:07:03,131 --> 00:07:05,471 We have one more performance we have to do together... 131 00:07:05,550 --> 00:07:05,970 It's not a lifetime. 132 00:07:07,718 --> 00:07:08,718 No. 133 00:07:08,803 --> 00:07:09,973 It's just going to seem like a lifetime. 134 00:07:14,058 --> 00:07:14,928 How long were you two married? 135 00:07:15,393 --> 00:07:16,393 Ten years. 136 00:07:16,477 --> 00:07:16,937 That's a long time. 137 00:07:18,646 --> 00:07:19,556 Funny, it seems like only yesterday . 138 00:07:21,440 --> 00:07:23,070 And you know what a lousy day yesterday was. 139 00:07:59,437 --> 00:08:00,397 Hey, gopher.... 140 00:08:00,479 --> 00:08:01,729 Listen, my mom get settled in okay? 141 00:08:01,814 --> 00:08:02,614 I've been stuck working. 142 00:08:02,690 --> 00:08:03,520 Oh, she's fine. 143 00:08:03,608 --> 00:08:07,358 I got one of the crew to show her around. 144 00:08:07,445 --> 00:08:08,145 And this is the lido lounge. 145 00:08:09,488 --> 00:08:13,078 Oh my, this is nice...Real nice.... 146 00:08:13,159 --> 00:08:15,659 Oh, who is that cutie over there in the red jacket? 147 00:08:20,166 --> 00:08:20,876 Hi, mom. 148 00:08:22,001 --> 00:08:22,751 Captain.... 149 00:08:22,835 --> 00:08:23,495 I see you met my mom. 150 00:08:23,586 --> 00:08:24,376 Yes. 151 00:08:24,462 --> 00:08:25,762 And I've never seen her looking better. 152 00:08:25,838 --> 00:08:27,338 You just met me two minutes ago. 153 00:08:27,423 --> 00:08:28,223 Well, you see? 154 00:08:28,299 --> 00:08:30,129 I wasn't lying. 155 00:08:30,218 --> 00:08:32,598 Well, I hope you enjoy the cruise, Mrs. Washington. 156 00:08:32,678 --> 00:08:37,018 I'd better or I'm gonna complain to whoever's in charge around here. 157 00:08:38,184 --> 00:08:38,944 Isaac.... 158 00:08:39,018 --> 00:08:39,938 So long, captain. 159 00:08:40,019 --> 00:08:42,149 Sweetheart, now are you getting enough to eat? 160 00:08:42,230 --> 00:08:43,110 Enough? 161 00:08:43,189 --> 00:08:44,899 I was thinking of getting a bigger uniform. 162 00:08:44,982 --> 00:08:45,782 Hi. 163 00:08:45,858 --> 00:08:48,238 Oh, mom, you remember gopher. 164 00:08:48,319 --> 00:08:53,409 Gopher,you know, I used to dress Isaac in little sailor suits like that before he could 165 00:08:53,824 --> 00:08:54,494 walk... 166 00:08:56,827 --> 00:09:00,077 My man here is going to show you such a fine time while you're on board. 167 00:09:00,164 --> 00:09:01,924 I sure am, Mrs. Washington. 168 00:09:01,999 --> 00:09:06,589 Mrs.washington was George's mother...You call me Millie. 169 00:09:07,213 --> 00:09:08,013 Millie...... 170 00:09:08,089 --> 00:09:08,839 Better... 171 00:09:08,923 --> 00:09:11,803 Now look at this uniform, look at this. 172 00:09:11,884 --> 00:09:13,054 Here, you got a tear already. 173 00:09:13,135 --> 00:09:17,465 First chance you get, you bring that coat upstairs to my room. 174 00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:20,887 No, it's up the companion way to my cabin. 175 00:09:20,977 --> 00:09:25,687 I don't care where your cabin is...But you bring the coat up to my room. 176 00:09:26,607 --> 00:09:27,317 He thinks I deliver. 177 00:09:30,987 --> 00:09:32,817 Isaac, your mother is a real dynamo. 178 00:09:33,197 --> 00:09:34,317 You know it. 179 00:09:34,407 --> 00:09:39,117 But there's another dynamo I also wanna spend some time with. 180 00:09:39,203 --> 00:09:40,003 Hi, gopher. 181 00:09:40,079 --> 00:09:43,539 Hi, honey. 182 00:09:43,624 --> 00:09:46,004 Did you know you had a tear in your jacket? 183 00:09:46,085 --> 00:09:47,585 If you like, I'll fix it for you. 184 00:09:47,670 --> 00:09:49,210 Do you deliver? 185 00:10:06,439 --> 00:10:07,229 Hi.... 186 00:10:07,315 --> 00:10:08,015 Ohh..... 187 00:10:09,275 --> 00:10:11,025 I understand you were up in the poconos. 188 00:10:11,110 --> 00:10:11,900 How'd you like it? 189 00:10:11,986 --> 00:10:12,696 The poconos? 190 00:10:14,113 --> 00:10:15,533 Oh, the poconos are like...Are like mountains to me. 191 00:10:18,284 --> 00:10:20,164 You know, they're sort of hilltops in the valleys of despair. 192 00:10:23,414 --> 00:10:25,044 Actually I can hardly find time for poconos anymore. 193 00:10:25,625 --> 00:10:26,745 It means juggling t.V., Vegas and Tahoe. 194 00:10:30,671 --> 00:10:32,211 I know exactly what you mean. 195 00:10:32,298 --> 00:10:33,758 You know, I have the very same problem. 196 00:10:33,841 --> 00:10:35,091 Yeah, I have a new manager. 197 00:10:35,176 --> 00:10:36,086 The guy is fantastic, absolutely fantastic. 198 00:10:38,679 --> 00:10:41,719 Course he has me working the little clubs now, but that's all part of the plan. 199 00:10:41,807 --> 00:10:43,767 Like a fighter you know, just bringing me along. 200 00:10:43,851 --> 00:10:46,151 Pretty soon, we'll work out the kinks and then it'll be t.V. 201 00:10:46,228 --> 00:10:46,648 Series, Tahoe, Vegas. 202 00:10:48,647 --> 00:10:49,897 Lenny, who are you kidding? 203 00:10:49,982 --> 00:10:51,232 I know the places you play. 204 00:10:51,317 --> 00:10:51,937 I read the columns. 205 00:10:52,026 --> 00:10:53,736 And I know the places you play. 206 00:10:53,819 --> 00:10:54,739 I read the funnies. 207 00:10:54,820 --> 00:10:56,070 Well, it beats the seven-eleven club in Trenton. 208 00:10:58,949 --> 00:10:59,739 You died there. 209 00:10:59,825 --> 00:11:00,485 I read the obituaries. 210 00:11:03,454 --> 00:11:05,754 Actually you know, I have ten weeks coming up at the Sahara. 211 00:11:07,708 --> 00:11:08,628 The hotel or the desert? 212 00:11:10,503 --> 00:11:11,303 Hi, guys. 213 00:11:11,379 --> 00:11:12,249 Everything under control? 214 00:11:12,338 --> 00:11:14,418 It will be when I get a padlock for his mouth. 215 00:11:17,051 --> 00:11:21,471 Let's face it, Julie, I can't work with this creep. 216 00:11:21,555 --> 00:11:24,595 If I perform it's going to be without an accompanist. 217 00:11:24,683 --> 00:11:26,313 After she sings four bars, it'll be without an audience. 218 00:11:29,355 --> 00:11:30,435 Why worry about it, Julie? 219 00:11:30,523 --> 00:11:32,823 I'd be absolutely glad to do the whole show for you, solo. 220 00:11:34,860 --> 00:11:35,570 That's a wonderful idea. 221 00:11:37,029 --> 00:11:39,739 He's a regular liberace, you know. 222 00:11:39,824 --> 00:11:41,954 Only if he's smart, he'll light the piano and he'll play the candelabra. 223 00:11:46,872 --> 00:11:47,502 Look , guys. 224 00:11:47,581 --> 00:11:48,961 This is not worth fighting about. 225 00:11:49,041 --> 00:11:51,501 I'll tell you what, I'll flip a coin and whoever calls it goes on alone. 226 00:11:51,877 --> 00:11:52,957 Heads. 227 00:11:53,045 --> 00:11:54,545 The other side. 228 00:11:54,630 --> 00:11:56,800 And then whoever doesn't perform will just pay for their passage and then we'll be 229 00:11:58,175 --> 00:11:59,465 square, okay? 230 00:11:59,552 --> 00:12:03,182 Uh...uh...now hold on just one minute. 231 00:12:03,264 --> 00:12:06,644 I think we're being a little hasty here. 232 00:12:06,725 --> 00:12:10,225 Yes, yes, I, I think we're being just a little bit hasty, I mean, uh, I mean 233 00:12:10,312 --> 00:12:12,522 without the two of us, let's face it, there's no act. 234 00:12:12,606 --> 00:12:16,316 That's right, that's right, I mean, it's like it's like hepburn with Tracy, it's 235 00:12:17,069 --> 00:12:19,489 like Rogers with Astaire.... 236 00:12:19,572 --> 00:12:20,952 Like goodyear without the blimp. 237 00:12:22,741 --> 00:12:23,661 Right! 238 00:12:23,742 --> 00:12:25,242 Well, I'm glad that's settled. 239 00:12:25,953 --> 00:12:26,663 See ya later... 240 00:12:35,546 --> 00:12:36,206 Hey, how goes it? 241 00:12:37,089 --> 00:12:37,969 Okay....i guess. 242 00:12:38,048 --> 00:12:39,878 Well, give me a call when you know for sure. 243 00:12:43,971 --> 00:12:46,641 Say uh....Who is that with my mom? 244 00:12:47,433 --> 00:12:48,143 I haven't a clue. 245 00:12:49,602 --> 00:12:51,022 Yeah, well, check it out, man. 246 00:12:51,103 --> 00:12:53,363 I mean, who is this guy, I mean, what does he do? 247 00:12:53,439 --> 00:12:54,519 Where is he from? 248 00:12:54,607 --> 00:12:56,937 Hey, am I thy mother's keeper? 249 00:12:57,860 --> 00:12:58,530 Ask him yourself. 250 00:13:07,369 --> 00:13:08,579 Oh, oh, Isaac. 251 00:13:08,662 --> 00:13:12,172 This is my son that I haven't seen in the last twenty-four hours. 252 00:13:12,249 --> 00:13:13,499 Nice to meet you, son. 253 00:13:13,584 --> 00:13:14,464 Now, this is Mr. Roy harwood. 254 00:13:17,087 --> 00:13:17,757 How do you do. 255 00:13:18,130 --> 00:13:18,920 Hi.... 256 00:13:19,006 --> 00:13:19,876 Roy's a dentist. 257 00:13:19,965 --> 00:13:23,045 But you won't get any business in the family. 258 00:13:23,135 --> 00:13:26,055 Isaac's got the best set of chompers in town! 259 00:13:26,138 --> 00:13:26,808 Show him honey. 260 00:13:29,600 --> 00:13:31,270 You know, we stressed dental health in our family. 261 00:13:31,352 --> 00:13:34,562 We brushed after every meal and flossed at bedtime...Unless Isaac had used up all the floss 262 00:13:38,651 --> 00:13:39,821 to hold his model planes together. 263 00:13:46,325 --> 00:13:46,985 Uh yeah. 264 00:13:47,910 --> 00:13:50,580 Well....I've gotta go. 265 00:13:50,663 --> 00:13:52,873 Can you join us later for dessert? 266 00:13:52,957 --> 00:13:54,077 I'd like to, but...I have to go and...Floss. 267 00:13:57,503 --> 00:13:59,173 But, Isaac....I've been wanting to talk to you...About something that's important. 268 00:14:00,631 --> 00:14:01,421 Hi, let's go. 269 00:14:01,507 --> 00:14:02,167 What about dinner? 270 00:14:03,634 --> 00:14:05,264 And I wanted to meet your mom. 271 00:14:05,344 --> 00:14:06,854 Oh, well, I thought we would make first things first. 272 00:14:10,849 --> 00:14:11,979 Well, since you put it that way. 273 00:14:15,145 --> 00:14:16,605 Anybody ever tell you, you have beautiful teeth? 274 00:14:16,689 --> 00:14:19,399 The best set of chompers in town. 275 00:14:19,483 --> 00:14:20,153 Oh,thank you. 276 00:14:59,732 --> 00:15:02,822 Okay, I give up, what's with the doggy bag? 277 00:15:02,901 --> 00:15:05,361 Oh well, it's the strangest thing, I've been getting hungry but never at meal time. 278 00:15:07,781 --> 00:15:09,201 So this way I always have food handy. 279 00:15:12,620 --> 00:15:14,160 Gopher, did I already eat my carrots? 280 00:15:14,246 --> 00:15:15,116 Sure did, really enjoyed them too. 281 00:15:19,710 --> 00:15:20,380 I'm still hungry. 282 00:15:21,754 --> 00:15:22,634 Can I eat your po.... 283 00:15:22,713 --> 00:15:23,383 Sorry, too late! 284 00:15:25,132 --> 00:15:26,682 Well, I'm stuffed. 285 00:15:27,926 --> 00:15:28,546 Excuse me. 286 00:15:36,935 --> 00:15:38,095 Honey, you missed a wonderful dinner. 287 00:15:39,313 --> 00:15:40,983 I'm not going out with my nose in a sling. 288 00:15:42,066 --> 00:15:43,026 Take off the bandages. 289 00:15:43,108 --> 00:15:45,148 The doctor said you could take them off weeks ago. 290 00:15:45,235 --> 00:15:46,985 Suppose he didn't do a good job? 291 00:15:47,071 --> 00:15:50,371 Suppose my nose is worse than it was before? 292 00:15:50,449 --> 00:15:51,329 Impossible. 293 00:15:51,408 --> 00:15:52,908 You had your father's nose. 294 00:15:54,995 --> 00:15:55,905 I'm sorry sweetheart....It came out backwards. 295 00:15:58,165 --> 00:16:00,825 You're going to look wonderful. 296 00:16:00,918 --> 00:16:01,958 You want to put that in writing? 297 00:16:13,722 --> 00:16:16,562 Hey, Isaac, you're running a loose ship here, man. 298 00:16:17,476 --> 00:16:18,386 What's with the empty peanut bowls? 299 00:16:20,312 --> 00:16:21,562 I thought I just filled that. 300 00:16:21,647 --> 00:16:23,317 Empty bowls don't lie. 301 00:16:43,335 --> 00:16:44,375 Hi, gopher. 302 00:16:44,461 --> 00:16:45,251 Hi, Julie. 303 00:16:45,337 --> 00:16:46,207 Well, back to the salt mines. 304 00:16:55,639 --> 00:16:56,429 Hi, Julie. 305 00:16:56,515 --> 00:16:57,555 Hi, Isaac. 306 00:16:57,641 --> 00:16:59,601 What's going on, I'm starving. 307 00:16:59,685 --> 00:17:00,345 Where's all the peanuts? 308 00:17:03,856 --> 00:17:05,146 Is there an elephant loose around here? 309 00:17:16,535 --> 00:17:17,695 Louise....louise....come out, come out, wherever you are. 310 00:17:18,662 --> 00:17:19,462 I brought dinner. 311 00:17:19,538 --> 00:17:20,208 Come on..... 312 00:17:25,878 --> 00:17:31,468 Uncle gopher has for you, some steak, some baked potato, some peanuts and for dessert, some 313 00:17:31,550 --> 00:17:32,380 carrots.... 314 00:17:32,468 --> 00:17:33,468 Not just some carrots. 315 00:17:33,552 --> 00:17:34,222 But Julie's carrots. 316 00:17:35,846 --> 00:17:36,506 And Isaac's peanuts... 317 00:17:37,598 --> 00:17:38,058 Hi, guys, what's new? 318 00:17:42,603 --> 00:17:46,153 Look, I promised a friend i'd take care of her. 319 00:17:46,231 --> 00:17:49,321 See, I thought I was gonna be off duty this week. 320 00:17:49,401 --> 00:17:51,321 Believe me, I was the only one he could leave her with. 321 00:17:52,863 --> 00:17:54,493 It figures. 322 00:17:54,573 --> 00:17:55,703 Leave a monkey with someone who's bananas. 323 00:17:58,869 --> 00:18:00,829 Please, you guys are my buddies. 324 00:18:00,913 --> 00:18:03,923 You gotta promise you won't tell anybody I have her on board. 325 00:18:04,374 --> 00:18:05,044 Please? 326 00:18:06,919 --> 00:18:08,919 What's a few peanuts more or less. 327 00:18:09,713 --> 00:18:10,513 Julie? 328 00:18:10,589 --> 00:18:11,629 I haven't eaten. 329 00:18:11,715 --> 00:18:13,125 I haven't the strength to tell. 330 00:18:18,430 --> 00:18:20,020 That's just her way of saying 'thanks.' 331 00:18:33,070 --> 00:18:34,820 Annie, please, just come out for a minute. 332 00:18:34,905 --> 00:18:35,775 I want you to meet dr.Bricker. 333 00:18:36,824 --> 00:18:37,534 No way. 334 00:18:38,867 --> 00:18:40,367 I just want you to meet him. 335 00:18:40,452 --> 00:18:41,122 Mother...... 336 00:18:42,621 --> 00:18:43,581 Let her be. 337 00:18:43,664 --> 00:18:45,174 She'll take the bandages off in her own good time. 338 00:18:46,458 --> 00:18:47,998 But she's missing a terrific cruise. 339 00:18:48,085 --> 00:18:49,545 There are so many nice people on board. 340 00:18:49,628 --> 00:18:50,088 You, for example. 341 00:18:52,464 --> 00:18:53,174 You're so right. 342 00:18:54,466 --> 00:18:54,926 Let's have breakfast. 343 00:18:55,008 --> 00:18:55,718 All right. 344 00:18:57,511 --> 00:18:58,221 You see my sunglasses? 345 00:18:59,471 --> 00:19:00,141 No. 346 00:19:02,975 --> 00:19:04,175 Besides, I'm the one who needs sunglasses... 347 00:19:05,769 --> 00:19:06,189 You're dazzling. 348 00:19:07,145 --> 00:19:08,055 You're so right. 349 00:19:14,486 --> 00:19:15,896 C'mon, Louise, where did you get those sunglasses? 350 00:19:18,824 --> 00:19:19,704 You stole them, didn't you? 351 00:19:23,537 --> 00:19:25,207 Listen, Louise, how did you get out of here, anyway? 352 00:19:34,673 --> 00:19:36,013 That's not funny, Louise! 353 00:19:46,018 --> 00:19:46,978 You're late. 354 00:19:47,060 --> 00:19:47,940 Well, good. 355 00:19:48,020 --> 00:19:50,230 I won't have to listen to you play so long. 356 00:19:50,314 --> 00:19:54,114 Now I thought we'd start with 'a salute to the fifties.' 357 00:19:54,192 --> 00:19:55,322 what are we saluting, your age? 358 00:19:58,363 --> 00:19:58,953 Why don't we make it the eighteen-fifties. 359 00:19:59,031 --> 00:20:00,121 We'll be saluting your jokes. 360 00:20:01,241 --> 00:20:01,951 Could we get started? 361 00:20:03,577 --> 00:20:05,287 Boy, am I cold. 362 00:20:05,370 --> 00:20:06,870 Haven't changed a bit have you? 363 00:20:06,955 --> 00:20:10,165 Okay, 'fascination.' In 'e', right? 364 00:20:10,500 --> 00:20:11,540 'E' flat. 365 00:20:11,627 --> 00:20:13,337 The 'flat' part I remember. 366 00:20:18,842 --> 00:20:21,602 'It was fascina..... 367 00:20:24,222 --> 00:20:24,932 My sentiments exactly. 368 00:20:27,935 --> 00:20:28,635 One more time. 369 00:20:32,689 --> 00:20:35,399 "It was fascin...Na...Na...Na...' 370 00:20:37,235 --> 00:20:37,895 fascinanana? 371 00:20:43,241 --> 00:20:44,701 Aren't you going to say 'gesundheit?' 372 00:20:44,785 --> 00:20:45,695 i was thinking of 'auf wiedersehen.' 373 00:20:47,412 --> 00:20:48,622 you know how I hate air 374 00:20:48,705 --> 00:20:51,075 conditioning, so you had them turn it up full blast, didn't you? 375 00:20:51,166 --> 00:20:52,916 I had them turn it up full? 376 00:20:53,001 --> 00:20:55,001 I...I'm not running the ship. 377 00:20:55,087 --> 00:20:57,837 Look, let's take it from the top one more time if you don't mind. 378 00:20:57,923 --> 00:20:58,593 Illllllt waaaaas faaaaascinaaaaation. 379 00:21:09,935 --> 00:21:11,845 Look, lover boy, in case you've forgotten the tempo was this.... 380 00:21:13,397 --> 00:21:14,267 It was fascination, I know..... 381 00:21:19,611 --> 00:21:20,491 Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, it was this.... 382 00:21:23,782 --> 00:21:24,832 It was fascination I know...... 383 00:21:24,908 --> 00:21:25,578 Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong! 384 00:21:39,881 --> 00:21:40,671 Who is it? 385 00:21:40,757 --> 00:21:41,427 Yeoman purser Smith ma'am. 386 00:21:42,676 --> 00:21:44,546 I....found these sunglasses with the name Cynthia Parker on them. 387 00:21:47,806 --> 00:21:48,516 They're my mother's. 388 00:21:50,976 --> 00:21:52,016 'Bye. 389 00:21:52,102 --> 00:21:52,522 Uh....thank you. 390 00:21:56,857 --> 00:21:57,567 You're welcome. 391 00:22:00,444 --> 00:22:01,904 I haven't seen you on the ship before. 392 00:22:01,987 --> 00:22:03,237 Are you hiding out for some reason? 393 00:22:03,321 --> 00:22:04,361 Well, uh..... 394 00:22:04,448 --> 00:22:06,198 I bet you're an actress or a model traveling incognito? 395 00:22:09,828 --> 00:22:10,578 No. 396 00:22:10,662 --> 00:22:12,332 No. 397 00:22:12,414 --> 00:22:14,714 Well, whoever you are, you have the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen...In the world...In 398 00:22:20,630 --> 00:22:21,420 The whole world. 399 00:22:21,506 --> 00:22:22,256 Thank you..... 400 00:22:22,340 --> 00:22:23,050 You're very welcome. 401 00:23:03,048 --> 00:23:04,088 Don't worry, it's me. 402 00:23:04,174 --> 00:23:04,884 I'm alone. 403 00:23:04,966 --> 00:23:06,336 Don't go running into the bathroom. 404 00:23:06,426 --> 00:23:07,336 I'm taking the bandages off. 405 00:23:08,220 --> 00:23:09,470 You are?? 406 00:23:09,554 --> 00:23:11,524 Oh, Anne, I can hardly wait to see it. 407 00:23:11,598 --> 00:23:13,178 Close your eyes, I'll tell you when you can look. 408 00:23:13,266 --> 00:23:13,976 Yes dear, I understand. 409 00:23:25,237 --> 00:23:25,897 Almost ready. 410 00:23:50,637 --> 00:23:51,557 Isaac, you know, you're a lucky guy. 411 00:23:52,472 --> 00:23:55,022 Yeah, tell me about it. 412 00:23:55,100 --> 00:23:56,730 I mean you're lucky to have such a super mom. 413 00:24:01,940 --> 00:24:03,190 What's that guy trying to prove? 414 00:24:03,275 --> 00:24:05,355 Holding her like that. 415 00:24:05,443 --> 00:24:07,653 I think he's trying to prove that she's a beautiful, desirable woman. 416 00:24:09,114 --> 00:24:10,874 She is not. 417 00:24:10,949 --> 00:24:15,119 She's my mother. Well, you know what I mean, I mean, she has no way to know what these cruise 418 00:24:15,203 --> 00:24:15,623 ships are like. 419 00:24:17,789 --> 00:24:18,669 What are they like, sweetie? 420 00:24:26,131 --> 00:24:26,801 What is she doing? 421 00:24:29,301 --> 00:24:30,641 Same thing we're doing. 422 00:24:33,096 --> 00:24:35,716 Charlene, I am not throwing myself at a dentist. 423 00:24:37,309 --> 00:24:38,689 I've got to put a stop to this. 424 00:24:43,315 --> 00:24:45,565 Lighten up and let them enjoy themselves. 425 00:24:45,650 --> 00:24:51,280 And besides it's time for your break and charlene has plans for her Isaac. 426 00:24:53,700 --> 00:24:56,620 Say what...What kind of plans? 427 00:24:57,329 --> 00:24:58,749 Oh, interesting plans. 428 00:24:58,830 --> 00:25:01,630 You see, this hot blood runs in my family. 429 00:25:04,502 --> 00:25:07,762 I got a feeling that it runs in mine, too. 430 00:25:07,839 --> 00:25:08,759 Of course, if you'd rather not.... 431 00:25:11,676 --> 00:25:12,796 Wait a minute....I'm with you...... 432 00:25:13,845 --> 00:25:16,805 I mean, who can fight all this hot blood? 433 00:25:32,364 --> 00:25:33,034 Come in. 434 00:25:43,041 --> 00:25:45,001 Mama, I came to drop off the jacket...... 435 00:25:45,085 --> 00:25:49,625 Didn't you see the sign in my window: 'In by nice, out by five'? 436 00:25:51,216 --> 00:25:52,716 This late, it'll cost you extra. 437 00:25:55,387 --> 00:26:02,637 Mom, I came here to straighten you out...Well, what I mean is I've been on this ship 438 00:26:02,727 --> 00:26:07,187 a long time and there are men who come on these cruises looking for one thing... 439 00:26:07,274 --> 00:26:09,234 Oh, honey, thanks for the tip. 440 00:26:10,193 --> 00:26:13,453 You're my dear son, not my dear Abby. 441 00:26:14,406 --> 00:26:17,826 Mom, we gotta have a talk. 442 00:26:19,452 --> 00:26:20,502 Not now. 443 00:26:20,578 --> 00:26:21,748 Mama's got to get her beauty sleep. 444 00:26:22,998 --> 00:26:24,248 It'll only take a few minutes.... 445 00:26:24,332 --> 00:26:25,332 He's right, Millie. 446 00:26:25,417 --> 00:26:27,167 Let's talk this out now. 447 00:26:27,252 --> 00:26:28,002 What's he doing here? 448 00:26:28,086 --> 00:26:30,506 What are you doing in my mother's cabin? 449 00:26:30,588 --> 00:26:32,798 It's as much his cabin as mine... 450 00:26:33,883 --> 00:26:35,143 What's that supposed to mean? 451 00:26:35,218 --> 00:26:36,338 We're roommates. 452 00:26:38,596 --> 00:26:39,596 We came on this cruise together. 453 00:26:39,681 --> 00:26:42,101 I wanted to talk to you but I haven't had a chance. 454 00:26:43,643 --> 00:26:45,853 Yeah.i can see you've been too busy. 455 00:26:47,272 --> 00:26:48,942 Not me. 456 00:26:49,024 --> 00:26:54,034 You, you see this is not the kind of thing you can whisper in your son's ear while he's mixing 457 00:26:54,112 --> 00:26:55,572 a Harvey wallbanger. 458 00:26:57,157 --> 00:26:58,827 Your mother and I have been going together for six months. 459 00:27:00,785 --> 00:27:01,825 Going together? 460 00:27:02,787 --> 00:27:04,327 I want to marry her, Isaac. 461 00:27:04,414 --> 00:27:06,964 Yeah well, what's holding you back? 462 00:27:07,042 --> 00:27:13,262 Now listen, we're in love but I'm just not sure that I want to get married. 463 00:27:15,842 --> 00:27:18,722 When you get my age, it takes longer to make a big decision. 464 00:27:20,013 --> 00:27:22,223 Well, I can understand that. 465 00:27:22,307 --> 00:27:24,177 Instead of getting married, you wanna be some sort of of swinger.... 466 00:27:37,113 --> 00:27:39,783 "The love boat will continue in a moment." 467 00:27:51,169 --> 00:27:52,799 Absolutley terrible. Who would do such a thing....I was.... 468 00:27:53,713 --> 00:27:54,423 Now don't worry, mrs.Parker, 469 00:27:55,507 --> 00:27:56,627 we'll get to the bottom of this. 470 00:27:57,634 --> 00:27:58,224 You wanted to see me, sir? 471 00:27:58,301 --> 00:27:59,051 Uh, yes, Mrs. 472 00:27:59,135 --> 00:28:00,635 Parker's room was ransacked by a thief. 473 00:28:00,720 --> 00:28:02,600 Her diamond brooch was stolen. 474 00:28:02,680 --> 00:28:07,230 It's roung with thirty-eight diamonds and a two-pronged pin on the back. 475 00:28:07,310 --> 00:28:08,100 And it was my grandmothers. 476 00:28:08,186 --> 00:28:10,396 Now pass this on to the rest of the crew. 477 00:28:10,480 --> 00:28:11,730 I want that thief caught. 478 00:28:11,815 --> 00:28:13,775 He's not going to get away with this on my ship. 479 00:28:13,858 --> 00:28:14,898 That's male chauvinism, sir. 480 00:28:14,984 --> 00:28:15,864 It could be a lady....Sorry. 481 00:28:18,113 --> 00:28:20,743 Just find him ,her or it! 482 00:28:20,824 --> 00:28:21,494 Yes, sir. 483 00:28:25,161 --> 00:28:28,921 Excuse me.......Oh, hi. 484 00:28:30,375 --> 00:28:31,035 Hi..... 485 00:28:33,420 --> 00:28:34,340 You sure you're not an actress? 486 00:28:37,590 --> 00:28:38,430 Gopher! 487 00:28:38,508 --> 00:28:39,298 What? 488 00:28:39,384 --> 00:28:40,434 Sir! 489 00:28:40,510 --> 00:28:41,390 Yes, I, I'm on my way! 490 00:29:42,906 --> 00:29:52,866 Louise...louise.....louise..... 491 00:29:52,957 --> 00:30:02,757 Louise...louise.....louise..... 492 00:30:13,645 --> 00:30:15,805 Now, how can I help you? 493 00:30:19,067 --> 00:30:20,487 I haven't known you long, Mrs. 494 00:30:20,568 --> 00:30:23,028 Washington....but that's not the same happy woman I met less than a week ago. 495 00:30:26,658 --> 00:30:28,158 What's the problem? 496 00:30:28,243 --> 00:30:35,883 Well, Roy and I would like to get off at the next port and fly home, that's if you 497 00:30:35,959 --> 00:30:37,209 could help us with the plane reservations. 498 00:30:37,293 --> 00:30:38,093 Why? 499 00:30:38,169 --> 00:30:39,049 Aren't you having a good time? 500 00:30:41,172 --> 00:30:43,632 Well, Roy and I came on the cruise together, 501 00:30:43,716 --> 00:30:46,756 and uh, we shareda cabin . 502 00:30:49,847 --> 00:30:50,597 But, Isaac doesn't approve. 503 00:30:50,682 --> 00:30:52,772 Oh..... 504 00:30:52,850 --> 00:30:58,940 And I don't want to cause him any further embarrassment. 505 00:30:59,023 --> 00:31:02,113 You know, it's a strange thing about the young people today...When they do the 506 00:31:02,193 --> 00:31:05,823 bump and the hustle, it's fun, when we do it, we're being silly. 507 00:31:05,905 --> 00:31:09,485 I love this lady, captain, and I don't want to see her hurt. 508 00:31:09,576 --> 00:31:10,826 Have you told that to Isaac? 509 00:31:10,910 --> 00:31:14,040 Roy: Yes, but his ears are all stopped up. 510 00:31:15,999 --> 00:31:21,419 I just didn't think that a child of mine would turn out to be so prim and proper. 511 00:31:21,754 --> 00:31:22,594 Isaac?! 512 00:31:22,672 --> 00:31:25,972 Prim and proper?! 513 00:31:26,050 --> 00:31:30,930 Do you remember meeting a young woman on board by the name of charlene Franks? 514 00:31:31,014 --> 00:31:33,184 Oh, that's that's Isaac's girlfriend. 515 00:31:35,518 --> 00:31:39,808 One rule for them....Another rule for us. 516 00:32:13,389 --> 00:32:14,179 Hi..... 517 00:32:14,265 --> 00:32:15,175 Hi.... 518 00:32:16,267 --> 00:32:16,977 Oh, hello, gopher. 519 00:32:17,060 --> 00:32:18,140 Any news on my brooch? 520 00:32:18,227 --> 00:32:20,187 Not yet ma'am, but we're closing in. 521 00:32:23,483 --> 00:32:24,323 May I join you? 522 00:32:24,400 --> 00:32:25,610 Of course you may. 523 00:32:32,450 --> 00:32:33,530 Gopher! 524 00:32:33,618 --> 00:32:34,368 Uh, doc, hi...... 525 00:32:34,452 --> 00:32:35,542 You surprised me. 526 00:32:35,620 --> 00:32:37,500 I had no idea you had such excellent taste in young ladies. 527 00:32:38,956 --> 00:32:39,826 Oh, she's sensational, isn't she? 528 00:32:42,794 --> 00:32:43,674 I mean the other young lady. 529 00:32:48,299 --> 00:32:49,219 Cynthia, would you care to dance? 530 00:32:50,510 --> 00:32:51,220 I'd love to. 531 00:32:58,142 --> 00:32:59,232 I'm glad you came over. 532 00:33:00,311 --> 00:33:01,401 So am I. 533 00:33:01,479 --> 00:33:02,149 So am I. 534 00:33:03,815 --> 00:33:07,435 I was uh, I was thinking maybe later we could go for a walk. 535 00:33:07,527 --> 00:33:08,187 The moon is beautiful tonight. 536 00:33:09,946 --> 00:33:10,816 Yeah...yeah...will you excuse me a minute? 537 00:33:19,997 --> 00:33:21,167 Hi...excuse me, mind if I cut in? 538 00:33:24,627 --> 00:33:25,287 Thanks. 539 00:33:41,561 --> 00:33:42,101 Uh, gopher, buzz off. 540 00:33:43,855 --> 00:33:44,805 You've got your own girl. 541 00:33:44,897 --> 00:33:45,567 Oh, you're a terrific dancer. 542 00:33:54,741 --> 00:33:55,201 Now, where were we? 543 00:33:57,368 --> 00:33:58,578 Oh, Anne, I'm sorry about that interruption. 544 00:34:00,538 --> 00:34:02,288 I just wanted to make a good impression on your mom. 545 00:34:02,373 --> 00:34:03,293 Oh. 546 00:34:07,170 --> 00:34:10,300 Would you like to take a Brandy along when we go for that stroll in the 547 00:34:10,381 --> 00:34:11,091 moonlight?..... 548 00:34:13,885 --> 00:34:14,545 I'll be right back. 549 00:34:24,896 --> 00:34:25,606 Louise!!! 550 00:34:35,865 --> 00:34:40,615 Cynthia, there's something about you that makes me go weak in the knees. 551 00:34:40,703 --> 00:34:41,123 Oh, Adam...... 552 00:34:42,246 --> 00:34:44,706 No, I'm not kidding, hold me up! 553 00:35:10,274 --> 00:35:11,234 Bricker, you haven't lost it. 554 00:35:14,654 --> 00:35:16,414 This time it ain't just some peanuts. 555 00:35:16,489 --> 00:35:18,159 I'm missing a case of swizzle sticks and a waring blender. 556 00:35:20,117 --> 00:35:21,487 Louise. 557 00:35:21,577 --> 00:35:25,667 And I'm missing a pair of shoes, some pantyhose and my brand new bikini. 558 00:35:26,165 --> 00:35:26,995 Louise. 559 00:35:27,083 --> 00:35:28,923 Okay, Louise. 560 00:35:29,001 --> 00:35:30,711 Now, where is the little monkey? 561 00:35:30,795 --> 00:35:31,795 That's just it. 562 00:35:31,879 --> 00:35:32,549 I'm missing a chimpanzee. 563 00:35:35,967 --> 00:35:36,677 Does she usually knock? 564 00:35:37,718 --> 00:35:39,348 Only when she forgets her keys. 565 00:35:43,975 --> 00:35:44,515 Anne! 566 00:35:45,518 --> 00:35:48,308 Gopher, what's going on? 567 00:35:48,813 --> 00:35:49,523 You stood me up? 568 00:35:53,276 --> 00:35:55,856 Oh, why didn't you tell me you had another girl. 569 00:35:55,945 --> 00:35:56,895 Oh, that's not another girl. 570 00:35:56,988 --> 00:35:57,818 That's just Julie. 571 00:35:57,905 --> 00:35:59,195 Thanks a lot. 572 00:36:01,617 --> 00:36:02,827 Well, I thought that you and I..... 573 00:36:02,910 --> 00:36:08,170 I do.....We are, we will, but Anne, there are complications..... 574 00:36:10,835 --> 00:36:14,915 It was horrible...A hairy little man...In a dress... 575 00:36:15,006 --> 00:36:17,546 Don't be silly, it was just gopher's monkey. 576 00:36:17,633 --> 00:36:18,553 We'll get your bag back. 577 00:36:18,634 --> 00:36:19,934 Dr. Bricker... 578 00:36:20,011 --> 00:36:20,851 Oh, evening captain.... 579 00:36:20,928 --> 00:36:23,388 Showing mrs.Parker the crew's quarters..... 580 00:36:23,973 --> 00:36:24,643 Something like that. 581 00:36:34,192 --> 00:36:34,902 This might sound silly, 582 00:36:36,986 --> 00:36:41,776 but....i think I just saw a chimpanzee walk into yeoman purser Smith's cabin. 583 00:36:42,825 --> 00:36:43,945 Are you sure it was a chimpanzee? 584 00:36:51,667 --> 00:36:52,287 Here's your hairy little man. 585 00:36:54,003 --> 00:36:54,673 Here's your bag.... 586 00:36:57,590 --> 00:36:59,680 And here's my brooch! 587 00:36:59,759 --> 00:37:02,179 I told you there was nothing to worry about...C'mon, I'll buy you a drink. 588 00:37:04,555 --> 00:37:07,765 Sir, I'm sorry, I....It's my fault for bringing Louise on the ship. 589 00:37:07,850 --> 00:37:08,520 I'm responsible for everything. 590 00:37:10,061 --> 00:37:11,941 You will report to my office first thing in the morning! 591 00:37:12,396 --> 00:37:13,056 Yes, sir. 592 00:37:14,190 --> 00:37:15,150 With your bags packed. 593 00:37:15,232 --> 00:37:17,692 You'll be going ashore in Ensenada. 594 00:37:22,907 --> 00:37:24,027 Well, I guess I better get packed. 595 00:37:35,586 --> 00:37:36,296 Louise!! 596 00:37:45,805 --> 00:37:46,845 Captain stubing. 597 00:37:46,931 --> 00:37:51,941 Uh, captain...You're not going to fire gopher, are you? 598 00:37:52,019 --> 00:37:54,809 Miss Parker, I understand your personal involvement. 599 00:37:54,897 --> 00:37:55,727 But this is ship's business. 600 00:37:55,815 --> 00:37:57,185 I prefer not discussing it with passengers. 601 00:37:57,274 --> 00:37:57,984 Good night. 602 00:37:58,943 --> 00:38:01,703 Uh, captain, the monkey's mine. 603 00:38:01,779 --> 00:38:05,909 I....uh...didn't want to leave it home so I brought it with me. 604 00:38:05,992 --> 00:38:10,502 Gopher was protecting me, of anyone should be punished, it should be me. 605 00:38:11,747 --> 00:38:13,497 Then it will be. 606 00:38:13,582 --> 00:38:14,252 Whatta ya gonna do? 607 00:38:30,307 --> 00:38:30,977 Enter. 608 00:38:45,114 --> 00:38:46,244 I'm ready to leave now, sir. 609 00:38:48,451 --> 00:38:49,121 Leave? 610 00:38:51,287 --> 00:38:52,157 Nothing could be further from my mind. 611 00:38:56,876 --> 00:38:58,166 Til last night, mr.Smith, 612 00:38:58,252 --> 00:39:02,092 i thought that old-fashioned chivalry was dead...That the days when a 613 00:39:02,173 --> 00:39:05,263 young man would put himself in jeopardy for the honor of a young lady had gone out 614 00:39:06,010 --> 00:39:08,010 with...with the tango. 615 00:39:08,846 --> 00:39:09,636 But, sir.... 616 00:39:09,722 --> 00:39:11,272 No buts. 617 00:39:11,348 --> 00:39:14,978 You put your own job on the line to save the embarrassment of one of the passengers. 618 00:39:17,563 --> 00:39:18,273 I'm proud of you. 619 00:39:19,190 --> 00:39:19,770 But, sir...... 620 00:39:19,857 --> 00:39:22,687 No, buts.Let's get back to work. 621 00:39:24,487 --> 00:39:25,147 Yes, sir. 622 00:39:27,990 --> 00:39:29,370 Now what did I do with my cap? 623 00:39:34,205 --> 00:39:34,865 Morning, captain. 624 00:39:41,045 --> 00:39:44,255 Okay baby I'm ready, let's go swimming. 625 00:39:44,340 --> 00:39:45,590 I don't feel like it. 626 00:39:45,674 --> 00:39:48,184 Isaac, why don't you go apologize to your mom? 627 00:39:48,844 --> 00:39:49,474 Apologize for what? 628 00:39:49,553 --> 00:39:50,973 I was only trying to protect her. 629 00:39:51,055 --> 00:39:53,215 Protect her? 630 00:39:53,307 --> 00:39:56,767 I wonder how she got along all those years without you. 631 00:39:56,852 --> 00:39:58,602 Isaac, you flew the Coop a long time ago. 632 00:39:58,687 --> 00:40:00,397 Now it's time for her to spread her wings. 633 00:40:01,899 --> 00:40:04,279 I don't understand your attitude at all. 634 00:40:04,360 --> 00:40:05,990 That's because, it's not your mother. 635 00:40:08,239 --> 00:40:12,279 Hey....a mom can't hold onto her son...And a son can't hold onto his mom. 636 00:40:17,957 --> 00:40:24,797 Just a second......Sorry. 637 00:40:24,880 --> 00:40:25,420 Your jacket's fixed. 638 00:40:25,506 --> 00:40:27,006 Thanks. 639 00:40:27,091 --> 00:40:31,511 Well, actually, I came to warn charlene...You know honey, there are men on these 640 00:40:31,595 --> 00:40:34,175 cruises who are only looking for one thing... 641 00:40:36,267 --> 00:40:38,847 It's not that way at all....I mean you and I have been going together for a long 642 00:40:38,936 --> 00:40:40,266 time.... 643 00:40:42,273 --> 00:40:44,283 Well, what I mean is...This is different! 644 00:40:45,526 --> 00:40:47,526 The only difference is: I'm not your mother. 645 00:40:47,611 --> 00:40:50,531 Seems to me you got two different sets of standards. 646 00:40:50,614 --> 00:40:51,374 One for me.... 647 00:40:51,448 --> 00:40:52,868 And one for me. 648 00:40:52,950 --> 00:40:57,250 Ladies, ladies, you completely misunderstand what I've been tryin' to say.... 649 00:40:58,622 --> 00:40:59,542 I can't wait to hear this. 650 00:41:00,791 --> 00:41:03,711 Well, what I'm tryin' to say, is..... 651 00:41:10,134 --> 00:41:15,854 I guess you're both one hundred percent right and I've been a damn fool. 652 00:41:15,931 --> 00:41:20,481 We're not a hundred percent right...Maybe ninety-nine. 653 00:41:22,646 --> 00:41:25,896 I guess a son never thinks any man is good enough for his mom. 654 00:41:27,693 --> 00:41:30,363 You know, it takes a man to admit when he's wrong... 655 00:41:31,280 --> 00:41:33,910 And I raised a man...... 656 00:41:33,991 --> 00:41:35,411 Who sure knows how to pick a good woman. 657 00:41:37,161 --> 00:41:38,041 And a pretty one too. 658 00:41:55,512 --> 00:41:57,772 Ladies and gentlemen tonight we have a very special 659 00:41:57,848 --> 00:41:59,178 treat for you. 660 00:41:59,266 --> 00:42:02,056 There aren't many performers who have a way with a song like the lovely 661 00:42:02,144 --> 00:42:04,444 and talented mitzi Monroe. 662 00:42:09,193 --> 00:42:12,913 And not many musicians have a way with those black and whites like the nimble-fingered, 663 00:42:13,489 --> 00:42:14,159 Lenny kamen..... 664 00:42:17,201 --> 00:42:21,461 Well, tonight, for the first time in a long time, they're back together again. 665 00:42:21,538 --> 00:42:24,748 Ladies and gentlemen...The musical magic of mitzi and Lenny. 666 00:42:29,922 --> 00:42:32,092 How do you expect me to play with my finger in a sling. 667 00:42:32,174 --> 00:42:32,974 Fake it. 668 00:42:33,050 --> 00:42:33,970 That's what you usually do.... 669 00:42:47,398 --> 00:42:50,728 Good evening ladies and gentlemen and welcome to the acapulco lounge. 670 00:42:50,818 --> 00:42:54,528 I hope that you'll bear with me tonight but as you can see, I'll be playing with a bum hand. 671 00:42:54,613 --> 00:42:56,033 Yes,that's why he plays a bum piano. 672 00:43:00,452 --> 00:43:05,502 But seriously ladies and gentlemen, I do hope that you will excuse my laryngitis. 673 00:43:06,542 --> 00:43:07,792 You shouldn't have mentioned it. 674 00:43:07,876 --> 00:43:09,246 The way you sing, they never would've noticed. 675 00:43:13,799 --> 00:43:16,889 Well, could we uh, could we just take it from the top, please. 676 00:43:17,261 --> 00:43:18,391 Why? 677 00:43:18,470 --> 00:43:19,260 You never started there before. 678 00:43:23,225 --> 00:43:25,135 Oh my, isn't he a bundle of fun. 679 00:43:27,980 --> 00:43:30,690 Ladies and gentlemen, you must forgive my partner, but she's been working alone 680 00:43:30,774 --> 00:43:32,194 recently and she's not used to such large audiences. 681 00:43:34,403 --> 00:43:36,073 Is that so? 682 00:43:36,155 --> 00:43:38,905 Well, I'll have you know that the last place I played in on closing night the ropes were up. 683 00:43:40,075 --> 00:43:41,405 The boss was hanging himself. 684 00:43:47,041 --> 00:43:49,131 Uh, well, could we just have an arpeggio, please? 685 00:43:53,756 --> 00:43:54,876 And that was with his good hand. 686 00:43:57,843 --> 00:44:00,893 Look, could you just give me a simple introduction? 687 00:44:00,971 --> 00:44:02,261 Certainly. 688 00:44:02,348 --> 00:44:04,178 Captain stubing this is mitzi. 689 00:44:04,266 --> 00:44:04,886 Mitzi this is captain stubing. 690 00:44:06,977 --> 00:44:07,727 Julie, mitzi. 691 00:44:07,811 --> 00:44:08,601 Mitzi, Julie. 692 00:44:08,687 --> 00:44:09,397 Gopher, doc..... 693 00:44:11,357 --> 00:44:12,227 Yes, yes, yes. 694 00:44:12,316 --> 00:44:13,976 It's going to be that kind of evening, is it? 695 00:44:14,068 --> 00:44:18,448 Well, well, well, ladies and gentlemen I think you might be interested in knowing that I was 696 00:44:18,530 --> 00:44:20,450 once married to this clown. 697 00:44:22,117 --> 00:44:24,907 My mother wanted me to marry a doctor, but I compromised. 698 00:44:26,121 --> 00:44:26,541 I married a sickness. 699 00:44:31,001 --> 00:44:35,881 Okay, let's talk about our marriage, which at one time was commonly referred to as, 700 00:44:35,964 --> 00:44:36,634 the gong show.' 701 00:44:41,678 --> 00:44:45,268 Yes, yes, they were going to make a movie based on our marriage, but you can't have two 702 00:44:45,349 --> 00:44:46,929 films called 'rocky'. 703 00:44:49,353 --> 00:44:51,023 So they made one about mitzi and called it 'jaws'! 704 00:45:04,034 --> 00:45:04,704 Come in.... 705 00:45:06,286 --> 00:45:06,786 Hi.... 706 00:45:06,870 --> 00:45:07,790 Hi.... 707 00:45:07,871 --> 00:45:09,791 Would you believe I couldn't get into my cabin? 708 00:45:09,873 --> 00:45:11,133 I was mobbed by autograph hounds. 709 00:45:11,208 --> 00:45:12,958 It took me two hours to sign two autographs. 710 00:45:13,043 --> 00:45:13,713 Why so long? 711 00:45:14,545 --> 00:45:15,665 One of them didn't want it. 712 00:45:17,881 --> 00:45:18,551 They really loved us. 713 00:45:20,717 --> 00:45:24,297 Well, that's the key word, us.... 714 00:45:24,388 --> 00:45:27,978 You're right, I never could've gone on alone tonight. 715 00:45:28,058 --> 00:45:31,268 Oh, I stink at the best of times, well, with this voice. 716 00:45:31,353 --> 00:45:32,693 Oh, come on, honey, you've got a great voice. 717 00:45:32,771 --> 00:45:34,821 It was always my piano playing that held us back. 718 00:45:34,898 --> 00:45:35,478 That's true. 719 00:45:35,566 --> 00:45:36,226 Yes, that's..... 720 00:45:38,402 --> 00:45:39,322 You know I was kidding. 721 00:45:41,238 --> 00:45:43,778 You know it was kinda cute, I think we should put it in the act. 722 00:45:43,866 --> 00:45:44,696 The act? 723 00:45:44,783 --> 00:45:47,703 Yeah, you know, you, me, Vegas, Tahoe, t.V. 724 00:45:48,620 --> 00:45:49,330 Oh, Lenny. 725 00:45:55,085 --> 00:45:55,745 I missed us. 726 00:45:56,837 --> 00:45:58,167 Me too. 727 00:46:00,424 --> 00:46:06,564 You know uh, I was thinking, i'm much too excited to sleep tonight and, and you probably 728 00:46:06,805 --> 00:46:08,515 are too. 729 00:46:08,599 --> 00:46:14,729 So I was thinking that uh, well, maybe you could just stay here for awhile and, and, and, maybe 730 00:46:15,606 --> 00:46:16,316 we could uh, uh,.... 731 00:46:17,483 --> 00:46:19,823 Rehearse, rehearse, that's a good idea. 732 00:46:19,902 --> 00:46:22,362 I always say, keep doing it until you get it right. 733 00:46:22,446 --> 00:46:26,866 Okay, now, let's see, I say our marriage was referred to as the gong show, laugh, laugh, laugh 734 00:46:26,950 --> 00:46:28,240 and then you say.... 735 00:46:28,327 --> 00:46:31,617 You can't have two movies called rocky, laugh, laugh, laugh........ 736 00:46:38,128 --> 00:46:41,468 That's what I always say, keep doing it until you get it right. 737 00:46:41,548 --> 00:46:42,218 Oh, yeah....... 738 00:47:09,368 --> 00:47:09,698 See you tomorrow night. 739 00:47:11,203 --> 00:47:12,003 You know it. 740 00:47:12,079 --> 00:47:13,869 Can we give you a lift home, charlene? 741 00:47:13,956 --> 00:47:15,116 Oh yeah, thanks. 742 00:47:17,376 --> 00:47:19,166 You liberated women sure do stick together. 743 00:47:21,171 --> 00:47:21,841 'Bye, mama. 744 00:47:23,840 --> 00:47:25,220 So long, Roy, thanks for being so understanding. 745 00:47:26,218 --> 00:47:27,758 Hey, it's no big thing. 746 00:47:27,844 --> 00:47:29,474 I hope we get to see a lot of each other...Son. 747 00:47:31,390 --> 00:47:34,390 I guess it's a little soon to be calling you son. 748 00:47:34,476 --> 00:47:37,806 Listen, you just keep lovin' my momma and keepin' her happy and you can call me 749 00:47:38,855 --> 00:47:40,105 anything you want. 750 00:47:40,190 --> 00:47:41,110 Oh, bless you honey, bless you. 751 00:47:43,443 --> 00:47:44,573 Your mother was right about one thing. 752 00:47:45,737 --> 00:47:46,277 What's that? 753 00:47:47,364 --> 00:47:49,534 You do have great teeth. 754 00:48:05,882 --> 00:48:07,592 And if I wasn't so cheap, i'd give you ten percent. 755 00:48:07,676 --> 00:48:08,256 She's right. 756 00:48:08,343 --> 00:48:09,093 As an agent, you're fantastic. 757 00:48:09,678 --> 00:48:10,428 As a cruise director.... 758 00:48:12,723 --> 00:48:15,063 Hey, I'm happy for both of you. 759 00:48:15,392 --> 00:48:16,442 Who knows? 760 00:48:16,518 --> 00:48:18,058 We may even tie the knot again. 761 00:48:18,145 --> 00:48:21,145 Except this time around, we intend to keep the fighting where it belongs,out on that 762 00:48:21,231 --> 00:48:22,481 stage! 763 00:48:22,566 --> 00:48:25,106 That's right my darling, that's where you belong out on the stage. 764 00:48:25,193 --> 00:48:27,153 As a matter of fact, there's one leaving in five minutes. 765 00:48:27,237 --> 00:48:30,157 If that's the comedy, how about going back to music? 766 00:48:30,240 --> 00:48:31,370 How about going back to your mother? 767 00:48:36,455 --> 00:48:38,995 Very good idea of yours, having the three of us leave together. 768 00:48:39,082 --> 00:48:41,672 I just hope we can make it a two some soon. 769 00:48:41,752 --> 00:48:43,002 You mean, you and her? 770 00:48:43,086 --> 00:48:44,666 I mean, you and me. 771 00:48:44,755 --> 00:48:46,295 Can I call you when I drop Louise off? 772 00:48:46,381 --> 00:48:47,051 You'd better. 773 00:48:52,596 --> 00:48:55,016 Well, Cynthia....You got your brooch back. 774 00:48:55,098 --> 00:48:56,848 Yes, but I may just have lost my heart. 775 00:48:56,933 --> 00:48:57,853 Lost your heart? 776 00:48:57,934 --> 00:49:00,024 Check with gopher...His chimp's probably got it. 777 00:49:00,979 --> 00:49:01,809 Good-bye, Adam. 778 00:49:01,897 --> 00:49:02,557 Bye.... 779 00:49:13,742 --> 00:49:14,412 Louise! 780 00:49:19,247 --> 00:49:19,917 Louise! 781 00:49:20,457 --> 00:49:21,457 Louise!....... 54136

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