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FAINT MUSIC: Carol Of The Bells
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Once upon a time...
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..late on Christmas Eve...
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..a stranger came to the church on Ruby Road.
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She carried in her arms the most precious gift of all.
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A newborn child.
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A baby girl.
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Just before midnight,
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she left her daughter on the steps of the church.
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The child was taken in
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and they named her Ruby,
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after the place where she was found.
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[CLOCK CHIMES]
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As for the mother, she was never seen again.
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No-one ever knew her name.
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[METALLIC THRUMMING]
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Until that night,
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a time traveller came to call.
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A traveller known as...
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..the Doctor.
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And that's how I got my name. Ruby. Named after Ruby Road.
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That's where I was found, almost...
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..19 years ago.
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So you were a foundling?
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And you were fostered by Carla, who then went on to adopt you.
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Is that right? Yeah. And she's amazing.
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I mean, she's nuts, but...
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..she's...the best mum I could ever have. Yeah.
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So life's been good, would you say? Yeah. Not bad.
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I mean, we've had a mad time with it, haven't we?
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And my A-levels were not the best,
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cos we had to leave Manchester to move down here,
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cos we came and looked after my gran and we couldn't afford care
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and she would never move to the north, not in a million years.
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So, yeah, that's been tricky... and expensive.
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No-one would move to London.
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I know! So that's left me a bit stranded.
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Um, I think I'm just...
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[FAINT CHITTERING VOICE]
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..still waiting for my life to begin.
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Sorry. Can we stop? Is there a radio or something?
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[FAINT CHITTERING]
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Is there a door open? I'm getting a noise.
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What sort of noise? It sounds like voices,
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like a whisper.
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[FAINT CHITTERING IN RECORDING]
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It won't be long.
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You don't mind me using the word foundling, do you?
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It's just...some people think it's a bit old-fashioned.
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Oh, no, no, no. No, no, that's fine. I mean, it's what I am. I was found.
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I was foundled! I love that!
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Yeah. Foundled.
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Seems to have gone. Sorry about that. Sound speed.
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OK, so let's pick it up.
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So, Ruby, the reason why we make this show
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is to see if we can help you.
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In the old days, foundlings were left without a trace,
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but now we really can work magic with DNA.
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So we've taken your sample,
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and we're going to use it to help track your genetic heritage.
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And we're hoping to be able to trace
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your birth mother
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or birth father
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or someone in your family.
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But, Ruby, we can't work miracles.
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[CHITTERING]
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And even if we do make contact,
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they might not want to be found,
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and we have to respect that.
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[CHITTERING]
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Can I ask you something? Yeah.
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If...if we did find someone...
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..what are you hoping for?
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Just the truth.
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Look out!
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Oh, my God, are you OK?
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I'm fine, I'm fine. It missed.
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I'm OK. It missed. I'm fine.
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That was lucky!
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[RUBY LAUGHS]
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Ow!
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# Sleigh bells ring Are you listening?
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# In the lane Snow is glistening
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# A beautiful sight We're happy tonight
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# Walking in a winter wonderland
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# Gone away is the bluebird
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# Here to stay is a new bird
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[CHITTERING]
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# Sings a love song As we go along
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# Walking in a winter wonderland... #
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[SOUND SYSTEM AND MIC STOP]
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[CROWD EXCLAIM]
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Sorry, everyone, sorry. What's happened?
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I don't know. I think it's just dead.
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Give it some welly!
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All right, I said sorry. OK?
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Can you do Gaudete? Can we do what?
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# Open my mouth to breathe the words to you
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# But words just won't come out
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# So I cried
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# It's just
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# One touch to free me
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# From falling down on my own
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# From falling down on my own
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[CHITTERING]
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# One touch to close
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# One touch to show me
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# Not all minds are cold... #
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[HE LAUGHS]
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Careful!
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Thank you.
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But...you were just over there.
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Health and safety. Gin and tonic division.
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Can I ask, does that happen to you a lot?
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Knocking things over? All the time.
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But I'm just clumsy. No, no, you're not.
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It's worse than that.
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Merry Christmas.
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# I never felt like this before
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# I never felt like this before... #
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Oh!
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[WIND GUSTS]
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[CHATTER AND LAUGHTER]
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Honestly, Rubes, it's like you've got a curse!
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I know. And then I lose that 20 quid. Honestly, it's like
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for the past three weeks, bad luck has just been following me around.
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I lose that job, I broke that thing, I broke my heel,
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then I fell over in front of that fit dentist! No!
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You're jinxed, Ruby! And just to make it worse,
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Bobby McGeever asked you out.
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Innit? I am telling you, there's a whirlwind of bad luck,
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and who's in the centre of it? Me!
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Oh, babe!
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[THEY LAUGH]
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[LAUGHTER CONTINUES]
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[CREAKING]
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[CHITTERING]
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[CLUNKING]
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[GRINDING]
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[GRINDING]
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[GRINDING]
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[SONIC WHIRS]
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Well, yeah, you had to. What are you going to do?
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[CLUNKING]
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Get back! Move! Go, go, go, go, go!
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[GRINDING]
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[HE CRIES OUT]
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You all right?
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A pram? At midnight?
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Really?
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It's my shopping.
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[SHE KISSES HER TEETH]
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Oh, my God! Sir, are you all right? Are you...?
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[CHITTERING]
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Are you OK? I'm fine.
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I'm sorry. Report... I'm going to have to report this.
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OK.
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Name - the Doctor.
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Occupation - not a doctor.
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Current status - just passing by.
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Employer - myself.
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Address - that blue box over there.
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Now, if you don't mind, I just got snowmanned,
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and I would like to go home.
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Er...
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Doctor...what would that be? Just the Doctor.
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[SONIC PINGS]
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She's going to say yes.
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Who is? Your girlfriend -
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when you ask her to marry you on Christmas Day.
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How do you know that?
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Cos my sonic screwdriver just went ping.
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That's a screwdriver? Which is sonic.
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And that precise ping is detecting a two-carat diamond in your pocket,
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which says engagement ring. And I'm guessing that she's a she
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cos 91% of men wouldn't choose a diamond.
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Plus Christmas Day - it's obvious.
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But how do you know she'll say yes?
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Cos the sales start on Tuesday and you just couldn't wait.
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And that's why she loves you.
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Merry Christmas!
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[METALLIC THRUMMING]
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She says yes...
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She says yes!
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MUSIC: Merry Christmas Everyone
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# Snow is falling
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# All around me
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# Children playing
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# Having fun
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# It's the season
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# Love and understanding
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# Merry Christmas, everyone... #
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It's not my fault. Listen, sweetheart,
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I'm not what you'd call decrepit. I do my callisthenics,
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I keep myself fit and able, thank you very much.
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I did a fun run last Easter
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in 25 minutes flat.
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Blisters the size of apples,
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and I kept going.
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But all the same,
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how am I supposed to get round that great big thing of a morning?
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I hope you don't mean me! Oh, merry Christmas, Rubes.
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Have you seen what he's done, putting that there?
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Well, what makes you think it was me?
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Because you've never liked me. I've seen you...
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..looking.
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Isn't it your birthday, love?
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Oh, it is. Yeah. I was a Christmas Eve baby. Aww.
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So, what IS that thing?
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Police box. I haven't seen one on the streets
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of London for 50 years.
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[CHITTERING]
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And don't want to see one now.
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Well, season of goodwill and all that.
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Hey, try not to kill each other.
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Oh!
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[CHITTERING]
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[SHE HUMS]
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Hiya, Mum. I got most of it, except I dropped the eggs,
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which is a really big problem,
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because the shops close for all of one day.
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Guess what!
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We're having a baby! No way! You kidding?
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Little girl. Seriously?
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Isn't it brilliant? All of a rush. I couldn't say no.
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What...? Hold on. You mean now?
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Today, Christmas Eve!
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That's amazing. How old? Newborn.
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No. That's a coincidence. That's what I said!
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Wait. So... Oh, my God, are we... Are we even ready?
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What did they say? What happened?
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We're having a baby!
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That's Christmas ruined.
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Sleepless nights and stinky nappies.
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Ruby, baby, make me a cup of tea.
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OK. Hold on. Two ticks!
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So what did they say?
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She's coming round with the baby right now. She's on her way.
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It's been years since we fostered one this young.
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I can't remember how to put this thing together.
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Hey, funny, though. A baby on Christmas Eve. Just like me.
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I got lucky all those years ago.
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If you ever find her,
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your other mother,
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I'm going to tell her...
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..you were so small.
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Hey, come here. Come here.
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I got lucky with my name.
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I bet this one's all Christmassy, like Noele, or Eve.
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Or Holly.
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[RUBY LAUGHS]
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Or Carol.
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She's called Lulubelle.
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Oh...
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What a terrible name.
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Oh, an absolutely terrible name.
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Isn't it awful?
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That's for the safe box.
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Happy birthday. Carla said. What a day!
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Oh, and I raided the provisions,
261
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but the cupboard was bare.
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So it's a section 20.
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We'd have kept little Lulubelle on the ward,
264
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but we haven't got the staff.
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What happened to the mum? Just can't cope.
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And the family is too complicated for words.
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00:13:07,880 --> 00:13:09,520
But I'm hopeful.
268
00:13:09,520 --> 00:13:13,360
I think she'll be with you five or six days till we can see what's what.
269
00:13:13,360 --> 00:13:15,800
Oh, you've been painting! Making the place our own.
270
00:13:15,800 --> 00:13:18,000
Cos we're never going to move her.
271
00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:21,240
I am not going anywhere! Shackle me to this bed!
272
00:13:21,240 --> 00:13:22,800
And where is my cup of tea?
273
00:13:22,800 --> 00:13:24,280
Merry Christmas, Cherry.
274
00:13:24,280 --> 00:13:26,520
We should really get you a ground-floor flat.
275
00:13:26,520 --> 00:13:27,680
Not moving.
276
00:13:27,680 --> 00:13:28,840
[SHE KISSES HER TEETH]
277
00:13:30,680 --> 00:13:31,760
[SHE BLOWS A KISS]
278
00:13:31,760 --> 00:13:32,880
[SHE KISSES BACK]
279
00:13:32,880 --> 00:13:34,560
Hey there, Lulubelle.
280
00:13:34,560 --> 00:13:36,040
You're in with me.
281
00:13:37,560 --> 00:13:39,680
It's a terrible name!
282
00:13:39,680 --> 00:13:42,560
We're all off until the 27th.
283
00:13:42,560 --> 00:13:45,560
But maybe as a rough plan, you could bring her to the hospital
284
00:13:45,560 --> 00:13:49,000
on Thursday 28th, maybe ten o'clock.
285
00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:50,360
I'll text you.
286
00:13:50,360 --> 00:13:52,320
It's just for a meeting with Mum. Start bonding.
287
00:13:52,320 --> 00:13:54,480
Yeah, we might have to go shopping first.
288
00:13:54,480 --> 00:13:56,080
These nappies are for six-month-old.
289
00:13:56,080 --> 00:13:58,160
Oh, I'm an idiot! Shops are still open.
290
00:13:58,160 --> 00:13:59,720
Hold on...
291
00:13:59,720 --> 00:14:01,960
I like to take a snap.
292
00:14:01,960 --> 00:14:03,360
Can you still get film for those?
293
00:14:03,360 --> 00:14:05,960
You wait long enough, they're fashionable again.
294
00:14:05,960 --> 00:14:07,040
Smile!
295
00:14:07,040 --> 00:14:08,520
[CAMERA WHIRS]
296
00:14:08,520 --> 00:14:10,040
There you go.
297
00:14:10,040 --> 00:14:12,480
Welcome to the family, Lulu.
298
00:14:13,600 --> 00:14:15,080
Lulu sounds nice.
299
00:14:15,080 --> 00:14:17,680
OK, I won't be long, and I can get some more eggs.
300
00:14:17,680 --> 00:14:19,080
Anything else? I'll go.
301
00:14:20,120 --> 00:14:22,400
And I'll walk to Portobello Road and have a proper shop.
302
00:14:22,400 --> 00:14:23,560
I can do it.
303
00:14:23,560 --> 00:14:25,960
No, but then I can get something for Lulu.
304
00:14:25,960 --> 00:14:27,440
Christmas AND birthday.
305
00:14:27,440 --> 00:14:30,720
You soft thing. She might only be with us for a couple of days.
306
00:14:30,720 --> 00:14:34,440
I'm leaving you in charge. Rule number one -
307
00:14:34,440 --> 00:14:36,520
don't lose the baby.
308
00:14:36,520 --> 00:14:37,800
I'll try my best.
309
00:14:37,800 --> 00:14:40,440
I'm off, Mum. I'll just be an hour.
310
00:14:40,440 --> 00:14:43,560
Where is my blasted tea? You let the last one go cold.
311
00:14:43,560 --> 00:14:46,520
How much are these flats underneath you? What do they go for?
312
00:14:46,520 --> 00:14:48,680
We're the last little pocket of fixed rent up here.
313
00:14:48,680 --> 00:14:50,560
That's why Mum won't move.
314
00:14:50,560 --> 00:14:51,880
[PHONE RINGS]
315
00:14:51,880 --> 00:14:53,640
Oh, shush, don't wake the baby.
316
00:14:54,960 --> 00:14:56,120
Hello.
317
00:14:56,120 --> 00:14:58,360
Is that Ruby? It's Davina.
318
00:14:58,360 --> 00:15:00,200
Davina McCall.
319
00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:03,000
Oh, my God. Hi.
320
00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:04,840
Merry Christmas.
321
00:15:04,840 --> 00:15:06,720
It's nice to hear from you.
322
00:15:06,720 --> 00:15:09,400
Look, it's not great timing,
323
00:15:09,400 --> 00:15:13,040
and it's not good news, I'm afraid.
324
00:15:13,040 --> 00:15:16,200
I'm...I'm so sorry. I know it's your birthday,
325
00:15:16,200 --> 00:15:20,960
but there is no trace of your mum or dad.
326
00:15:22,120 --> 00:15:25,880
I'm sorry. It happens sometimes.
327
00:15:25,880 --> 00:15:27,440
No, that's fine.
328
00:15:29,280 --> 00:15:31,600
Thanks, but...can you keep looking?
329
00:15:31,600 --> 00:15:33,840
No. There's nothing more we can do.
330
00:15:33,840 --> 00:15:37,840
If your parents aren't on some kind of a database,
331
00:15:37,840 --> 00:15:39,240
we can't find them.
332
00:15:42,080 --> 00:15:43,640
OK.
333
00:15:43,640 --> 00:15:45,800
Um, isn't that unusual, though?
334
00:15:45,800 --> 00:15:48,440
There's not a single trace anywhere?
335
00:15:48,440 --> 00:15:50,240
I mean, in the whole wide world,
336
00:15:50,240 --> 00:15:54,080
my mother's never left a blood sample or anything?
337
00:15:54,080 --> 00:15:55,240
I'm sorry.
338
00:15:57,840 --> 00:16:01,680
OK. Sorry, I get it. I'M sorry.
339
00:16:01,680 --> 00:16:04,440
And it's really very kind of you
340
00:16:04,440 --> 00:16:06,160
to let me know yourself.
341
00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:10,720
Look, there is something else I'd like to ask you.
342
00:16:12,600 --> 00:16:16,160
Ruby, have you been having any bad luck recently?
343
00:16:17,520 --> 00:16:20,760
What do you mean? Bad luck.
344
00:16:20,760 --> 00:16:23,960
Ever since that day, it's never stopped.
345
00:16:23,960 --> 00:16:25,640
I've been hit,
346
00:16:25,640 --> 00:16:28,360
I've been thrown, I've been bumped.
347
00:16:28,360 --> 00:16:31,520
I fell off a boat on dry land.
348
00:16:32,960 --> 00:16:35,640
I've been in accidents, collisions.
349
00:16:35,640 --> 00:16:37,440
I've even been trampled by a moose!
350
00:16:38,880 --> 00:16:41,520
And I can't help thinking
351
00:16:41,520 --> 00:16:45,440
it all comes back to when I met you.
352
00:16:45,440 --> 00:16:48,080
I...suppose the funny thing is
353
00:16:48,080 --> 00:16:50,720
that I have been having bad luck recently,
354
00:16:50,720 --> 00:16:52,400
but I just keep dropping things.
355
00:16:52,400 --> 00:16:55,400
I knew it! But they're all accidents.
356
00:16:55,400 --> 00:16:57,280
How do we stop them?
357
00:16:57,280 --> 00:16:58,840
I'm begging you.
358
00:16:58,840 --> 00:17:01,520
Tell me how I can make it stop.
359
00:17:01,520 --> 00:17:03,560
I'm terrified.
360
00:17:01,520 --> 00:17:03,560
[GRINDING]
361
00:17:03,560 --> 00:17:07,000
Sooner or later, there's going to be an accident I can't avoid.
362
00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:09,680
And next time it might be...
363
00:17:09,680 --> 00:17:11,040
[SHE SHRIEKS]
364
00:17:11,040 --> 00:17:12,440
[LINE GOES DEAD]
365
00:17:12,440 --> 00:17:13,920
Davina?
366
00:17:15,960 --> 00:17:17,560
Hmm.
367
00:17:19,480 --> 00:17:21,120
[SHE PUTS PHONE DOWN]
368
00:17:24,120 --> 00:17:27,200
[CHITTERING]
369
00:17:28,400 --> 00:17:30,240
[CHITTERING]
370
00:17:33,920 --> 00:17:35,600
[FAINT LAUGHTER]
371
00:17:39,880 --> 00:17:42,520
[CHITTERING AND LAUGHTER]
372
00:17:42,520 --> 00:17:45,320
[BABY LULU CRIES]
373
00:17:42,520 --> 00:17:45,320
Happy...birthday.
374
00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:49,400
[SHE GASPS]
375
00:17:49,400 --> 00:17:51,320
Oh...
376
00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:02,600
W-W-W...
377
00:18:04,160 --> 00:18:05,480
[LAUGHTER]
378
00:18:06,760 --> 00:18:08,000
[SHE GASPS]
379
00:18:19,880 --> 00:18:22,240
[CHITTERING]
380
00:18:22,240 --> 00:18:23,840
[LULU CRIES]
381
00:18:34,600 --> 00:18:36,400
What the hell...?
382
00:18:36,400 --> 00:18:37,520
What are you?
383
00:18:37,520 --> 00:18:39,080
[CREATURE HISSES]
384
00:18:39,080 --> 00:18:42,200
Oh. Did you just hiss at me?
385
00:18:42,200 --> 00:18:43,840
Was that a hiss?
386
00:18:43,840 --> 00:18:45,600
Because let me tell you, I'm not...
387
00:18:46,640 --> 00:18:48,520
Oh, my God. I'm on the roof.
388
00:18:48,520 --> 00:18:51,080
[CREATURE CALLS OUT]
389
00:18:52,520 --> 00:18:55,120
No, no, no, no, no. Give me back my baby!
390
00:19:00,560 --> 00:19:02,520
Don't... Don't do that!
391
00:19:05,560 --> 00:19:08,040
[SHE WHIMPERS]
392
00:19:10,360 --> 00:19:12,360
What the hell are you doing?!
393
00:19:12,360 --> 00:19:14,600
I'm... Just... There's...
394
00:19:14,600 --> 00:19:16,360
But what did you do that for?!
395
00:19:16,360 --> 00:19:18,760
Who sees a ladder and just pops on?
396
00:19:18,760 --> 00:19:22,600
A ladder in the sky and you thought, "Yeah, I'll give that a go, babes"?
397
00:19:22,600 --> 00:19:24,040
They've got the baby!
398
00:19:30,680 --> 00:19:33,560
What's your name? Ruby. Ruby Sunday.
399
00:19:33,560 --> 00:19:37,480
Hello, Ruby Sunday. And it's a Sunday right now.
400
00:19:37,480 --> 00:19:39,280
That's a coincidence.
401
00:19:39,280 --> 00:19:40,560
I'm the Doctor. Hi.
402
00:19:40,560 --> 00:19:42,200
I met you before. Yup.
403
00:19:42,200 --> 00:19:44,040
There are creatures. Goblins.
404
00:19:44,040 --> 00:19:45,320
Goblins. They're goblins.
405
00:19:45,320 --> 00:19:47,200
OK. I can't hold on.
406
00:19:47,200 --> 00:19:48,760
Oh, right, right, right. Wait, wait.
407
00:19:48,760 --> 00:19:50,400
Wait, wait, wait.
408
00:19:50,400 --> 00:19:52,800
Cos I spend a lot of time hanging off things...
409
00:19:52,800 --> 00:19:54,240
..I invented these.
410
00:19:54,240 --> 00:19:56,200
Gloves? Intelligent gloves.
411
00:19:56,200 --> 00:19:58,840
One each. Should work. Put it on.
412
00:19:58,840 --> 00:20:01,760
Cos I thought to myself, "What's the problem with hanging on?"
413
00:20:01,760 --> 00:20:05,160
It's all the friction and the weight and the burn, so I got rid of that.
414
00:20:05,160 --> 00:20:08,400
The glove's a kind of super-kinetic transfer of mass.
415
00:20:08,400 --> 00:20:10,040
[WHIRRING]
416
00:20:10,040 --> 00:20:11,920
[THEY LAUGH]
417
00:20:11,920 --> 00:20:13,240
That's better!
418
00:20:14,600 --> 00:20:17,440
The glove takes all my weight. All the weight is in the glove.
419
00:20:17,440 --> 00:20:20,280
So nothing burns. Nothing pulls. Nothing hurts.
420
00:20:20,280 --> 00:20:21,840
Ta-da!
421
00:20:23,800 --> 00:20:25,680
I'm lightweight.
422
00:20:25,680 --> 00:20:28,840
Yeah, all the mass and density and mavity exists in the glove,
423
00:20:28,840 --> 00:20:30,400
not in you.
424
00:20:30,400 --> 00:20:32,520
Super-gloves! Yeah.
425
00:20:32,520 --> 00:20:35,280
They're pulling us in. But where? What's up there?
426
00:20:35,280 --> 00:20:38,040
Goblins. Do you know why they call them goblins?
427
00:20:38,040 --> 00:20:39,440
Cos they like to gobble you up.
428
00:20:39,440 --> 00:20:41,920
And this lot want to gobble up the baby.
429
00:20:44,560 --> 00:20:45,880
And this...
430
00:20:45,880 --> 00:20:47,960
..is where they feast.
431
00:20:50,360 --> 00:20:52,000
The goblin ship.
432
00:21:00,480 --> 00:21:02,640
That's impossible!
433
00:21:02,640 --> 00:21:04,120
It's beautiful.
434
00:21:04,120 --> 00:21:05,960
And...what will they do to us?
435
00:21:05,960 --> 00:21:07,560
Oh, they'll eat us too.
436
00:21:15,200 --> 00:21:17,440
[CHITTERING]
437
00:21:20,480 --> 00:21:21,680
Hiya.
438
00:21:21,680 --> 00:21:23,800
[GOBLINS SNARL]
439
00:21:26,480 --> 00:21:28,120
[GOBLIN HISSES]
440
00:21:28,120 --> 00:21:30,480
[FOOTSTEPS]
441
00:21:30,480 --> 00:21:32,120
[FAINT CHITTERING]
442
00:21:32,120 --> 00:21:33,200
I can't believe this.
443
00:21:33,200 --> 00:21:36,240
I can't believe a single thing that's happening, and...
444
00:21:39,520 --> 00:21:41,400
[FAINT LAUGHTER]
445
00:21:43,120 --> 00:21:45,120
..it's my birthday. It's your what, now?
446
00:21:45,120 --> 00:21:48,040
Oh, never mind me. They're going to eat Lulubelle. What time's dinner?
447
00:21:48,040 --> 00:21:49,680
No, but it's Lulubelle's birthday...
448
00:21:49,680 --> 00:21:51,880
That is such a brilliant name.
449
00:21:51,880 --> 00:21:53,840
I wish I was called Lulubelle.
450
00:21:53,840 --> 00:21:56,080
And is your birthday on the same day?
451
00:21:56,080 --> 00:21:59,280
Yeah, but it doesn't mean anything. It's just a coincidence.
452
00:21:59,280 --> 00:22:01,360
Learn the language.
453
00:22:01,360 --> 00:22:04,000
That's why they went after Lulubelle.
454
00:22:04,000 --> 00:22:06,520
Coincidence is what makes the baby tasty.
455
00:22:06,520 --> 00:22:10,240
That's how these goblins work. Chance and coincidence and luck.
456
00:22:10,240 --> 00:22:11,520
That's how I spotted you.
457
00:22:11,520 --> 00:22:13,960
You've been having lots of bad luck. Yes?
458
00:22:13,960 --> 00:22:15,120
Well...
459
00:22:15,120 --> 00:22:17,880
Yes, but that-that-that started way back.
460
00:22:17,880 --> 00:22:19,880
I mean, Lulu arrived today.
461
00:22:19,880 --> 00:22:21,920
I started having accidents weeks ago.
462
00:22:21,920 --> 00:22:23,320
That was paving the way.
463
00:22:23,320 --> 00:22:27,320
These goblins are time riders. They can surf the waves of time.
464
00:22:27,320 --> 00:22:29,160
They spotted the chance of coincidence,
465
00:22:29,160 --> 00:22:30,960
and they went back and they wove you in.
466
00:22:30,960 --> 00:22:34,280
Wait. So they caused my accidents? Were they trying to kill me?
467
00:22:34,280 --> 00:22:37,120
No, no. It's more like, uh...
468
00:22:37,120 --> 00:22:39,960
If you walk through a day without any bad luck,
469
00:22:39,960 --> 00:22:41,920
that's fine, that day is nothing.
470
00:22:41,920 --> 00:22:44,320
But if you have lots of accidents, it stitches you in.
471
00:22:44,320 --> 00:22:45,680
It weaves you into the day.
472
00:22:45,680 --> 00:22:49,680
You become all complicated and knotted and vivid.
473
00:22:49,680 --> 00:22:52,280
All of it leading up to a baby on Christmas Eve.
474
00:22:52,280 --> 00:22:54,080
The same birthday as yours,
475
00:22:54,080 --> 00:22:56,840
with a bedroom that is high up in the sky -
476
00:22:56,840 --> 00:23:00,080
all the more convenient for a goblin ship. Ha!
477
00:23:00,080 --> 00:23:03,720
Oh, it's like a tapestry. It's gorgeous!
478
00:23:03,720 --> 00:23:06,360
How do you know all of this? I don't.
479
00:23:06,360 --> 00:23:08,720
This is a brand-new science for me. And I love it.
480
00:23:08,720 --> 00:23:10,520
The language of luck.
481
00:23:10,520 --> 00:23:13,000
Cos what is a coincidence but a form of accident?
482
00:23:13,000 --> 00:23:15,840
Two things bumping together unexpectedly.
483
00:23:17,440 --> 00:23:19,840
Like you and me.
484
00:23:19,840 --> 00:23:21,480
No, but who are you?
485
00:23:21,480 --> 00:23:25,440
Why are you an expert in time-travelling goblins and...?
486
00:23:25,440 --> 00:23:27,720
Oh! Pssh!
487
00:23:27,720 --> 00:23:30,680
They are not time travellers. Excuse me!
488
00:23:30,680 --> 00:23:33,040
Time travellers are great.
489
00:23:33,040 --> 00:23:35,040
Like, the best. Like, wow.
490
00:23:35,040 --> 00:23:37,400
This lot just bimble.
491
00:23:37,400 --> 00:23:40,160
So if they're...bimbling...
492
00:23:41,560 --> 00:23:43,520
..why did they pick on Davina McCall?
493
00:23:43,520 --> 00:23:44,760
Oh, that was just fun.
494
00:23:44,760 --> 00:23:47,160
Wait, how did you do that?
495
00:23:47,160 --> 00:23:50,200
I spent a long, hot summer with Harry Houdini.
496
00:23:51,720 --> 00:23:52,920
Now, then...
497
00:23:58,400 --> 00:23:59,680
Right.
498
00:24:01,000 --> 00:24:02,280
Let me see.
499
00:24:04,440 --> 00:24:06,120
Door.
500
00:24:09,480 --> 00:24:11,600
Hurry up. They're going to eat the baby.
501
00:24:11,600 --> 00:24:12,960
[SONIC WHIRS]
502
00:24:14,880 --> 00:24:16,960
Wrong world. Why? What is that thing?
503
00:24:16,960 --> 00:24:18,520
Sonic screwdriver.
504
00:24:18,520 --> 00:24:21,040
But a screwdriver needs screws.
505
00:24:21,040 --> 00:24:23,360
This lot bind everything with knots.
506
00:24:24,360 --> 00:24:25,560
Ah...
507
00:24:26,560 --> 00:24:29,280
OK, we've got to get out, because they could be eating the baby
508
00:24:29,280 --> 00:24:30,840
any second now.
509
00:24:30,840 --> 00:24:32,600
What time were you born?
510
00:24:34,040 --> 00:24:37,240
I don't know. They kind of just guessed. Two o'clock? 2pm?
511
00:24:37,240 --> 00:24:39,000
Right... So..
512
00:24:39,000 --> 00:24:40,240
Language...
513
00:24:40,240 --> 00:24:42,040
Tapestry... Coincidence.
514
00:24:43,600 --> 00:24:45,360
That must be the time for the feast.
515
00:24:45,360 --> 00:24:47,520
What...? What time is it now?
516
00:24:49,760 --> 00:24:51,160
Five to two.
517
00:24:52,760 --> 00:24:54,200
[THUDDING AT DOOR]
518
00:24:54,200 --> 00:24:56,840
We're circling back to your flat.
519
00:24:56,840 --> 00:24:58,720
The pattern is closing. We'd better hurry up.
520
00:24:58,720 --> 00:25:00,880
Yes! Well, if you gave me a hand!
521
00:25:00,880 --> 00:25:03,440
I am learning the vocabulary of rope!
522
00:25:03,440 --> 00:25:06,560
This stuff is their version of wires and electricity.
523
00:25:06,560 --> 00:25:08,200
So if we...
524
00:25:12,520 --> 00:25:14,600
..trip the right switch...
525
00:25:14,600 --> 00:25:17,480
[ROPE TWANGS AND WHIPS]
526
00:25:17,480 --> 00:25:19,680
What, you can speak rope?!
527
00:25:19,680 --> 00:25:21,520
[DOCTOR LAUGHS]
528
00:25:22,640 --> 00:25:23,680
Ah! You know,
529
00:25:23,680 --> 00:25:27,240
we can't exactly sneak around. We're like giants in this place.
530
00:25:27,240 --> 00:25:32,600
Oh, I think that even a leaky old goblin ship...
531
00:25:34,360 --> 00:25:36,600
..has the equivalent of...
532
00:25:36,600 --> 00:25:38,240
[CREAKING]
533
00:25:40,200 --> 00:25:41,240
..ventilation shafts.
534
00:25:41,240 --> 00:25:42,760
[EXCITED CHITTERING]
535
00:25:51,520 --> 00:25:54,560
[GONG RESOUNDS]
536
00:25:54,560 --> 00:25:56,480
I think that's the dinner gong.
537
00:25:57,720 --> 00:25:58,880
What's the time?
538
00:26:00,760 --> 00:26:02,680
Three minutes to.
539
00:26:02,680 --> 00:26:04,840
[DRUMMING]
540
00:26:02,680 --> 00:26:04,840
Is that...a band?
541
00:26:04,840 --> 00:26:06,240
Wait!
542
00:26:17,000 --> 00:26:19,320
[GOBLIN SHRIEKS]
543
00:26:20,640 --> 00:26:22,600
[GOBLINS SING]
544
00:26:25,720 --> 00:26:27,120
Lulubelle!
545
00:26:29,520 --> 00:26:31,320
[GOBLINS CHEER]
546
00:26:33,840 --> 00:26:36,520
# We've got a baby, we can feast
547
00:26:36,520 --> 00:26:39,280
# We can dine three days at least
548
00:26:39,280 --> 00:26:42,080
# Baby blood and baby bones
549
00:26:42,080 --> 00:26:44,320
# Baby butter for the baby scones.. #
550
00:26:44,320 --> 00:26:45,360
That's "sconns".
551
00:26:45,360 --> 00:26:47,200
# Little baby feets Little baby toes... #
552
00:26:47,200 --> 00:26:49,120
Amazing... No, it's not!
553
00:26:49,120 --> 00:26:51,440
What do we do? Er, OK.
554
00:26:51,440 --> 00:26:53,480
# Baby's had such very bad luck
555
00:26:53,480 --> 00:26:55,760
# Now into baby we will tuck!
556
00:26:55,760 --> 00:26:59,240
# Eat the baby, add some salt... #
557
00:26:59,240 --> 00:27:01,840
They're seasoning her! # Bay leaves, barley, powdered malt
558
00:27:01,840 --> 00:27:04,680
# Now baby's salted, she's a treat
559
00:27:04,680 --> 00:27:07,040
# Her destiny it's time to meet
560
00:27:07,040 --> 00:27:09,960
# Baby we need
561
00:27:09,960 --> 00:27:13,160
# Baby we feed
562
00:27:13,160 --> 00:27:15,760
# Eat with our teeth
563
00:27:15,760 --> 00:27:18,440
# Better than beef
564
00:27:18,440 --> 00:27:21,600
# Baby so soft
565
00:27:21,600 --> 00:27:24,520
# Carried aloft
566
00:27:24,520 --> 00:27:27,000
# Big brown eyes... # Oh, no.
567
00:27:27,000 --> 00:27:28,440
# Caramelise! # What?
568
00:27:28,440 --> 00:27:30,600
I wonder whose ship this is.
569
00:27:30,600 --> 00:27:33,200
# He's the goblin king Yes, the goblin king
570
00:27:33,200 --> 00:27:35,880
# He's not a myth He's an actual thing
571
00:27:35,880 --> 00:27:38,680
# Here's the king Here's the king
572
00:27:38,680 --> 00:27:41,400
# Here's the king Here's the king goblin! #
573
00:27:41,400 --> 00:27:43,080
Oh...my...God. # We love the king
574
00:27:43,080 --> 00:27:44,400
# We sing ding-a-ling
575
00:27:44,400 --> 00:27:46,680
# And we love his chin when it's wobbling
576
00:27:46,680 --> 00:27:48,360
# He likes to dine on coincidence... #
577
00:27:48,360 --> 00:27:49,840
Leave her alone!
578
00:27:49,840 --> 00:27:51,440
Leave her alone! # It fills him
579
00:27:51,440 --> 00:27:52,760
# Builds him up, and hence
580
00:27:52,760 --> 00:27:55,040
# He can eat! He can eat!
581
00:27:55,040 --> 00:27:56,800
[TOOTS]
582
00:27:56,800 --> 00:27:59,560
# 500 puppies with golden fur
583
00:27:59,560 --> 00:28:02,240
# Orphan boys with jet-black hair
584
00:28:02,240 --> 00:28:05,320
# Circus clowns with a red balloon... #
585
00:28:05,320 --> 00:28:07,800
He can eat me. He makes me swoon!
586
00:28:09,160 --> 00:28:11,280
# A banquet for our king on high
587
00:28:11,280 --> 00:28:14,000
# Oh, little baby
588
00:28:14,000 --> 00:28:16,400
# Oh, little baby...
589
00:28:16,400 --> 00:28:21,840
# Say goodbye! #
590
00:28:25,600 --> 00:28:27,320
[KING ROARS]
591
00:28:35,280 --> 00:28:36,320
Huh...
592
00:28:38,640 --> 00:28:40,520
[LULU GRIZZLES]
593
00:28:40,520 --> 00:28:42,120
[GOBLINS SNARL]
594
00:28:43,600 --> 00:28:44,920
Tough crowd.
595
00:28:47,960 --> 00:28:49,760
Curtsey.
596
00:28:53,000 --> 00:28:55,080
[KING SNARLS]
597
00:28:55,080 --> 00:28:59,120
I'm the Doctor and this is my friend Ruby Sunday.
598
00:28:59,120 --> 00:29:01,080
And I would just like to say...
599
00:29:05,640 --> 00:29:07,280
...why stop singing?
600
00:29:07,280 --> 00:29:09,320
[KING GROWLS]
601
00:29:09,320 --> 00:29:10,400
Rock it, Janice!
602
00:29:10,400 --> 00:29:13,720
[MUSIC STARTS]
603
00:29:22,080 --> 00:29:24,160
# Cos the goblin king Oh, the goblin king
604
00:29:24,160 --> 00:29:26,920
# It's so good to meet you You great big thing
605
00:29:26,920 --> 00:29:29,600
# I can see you're having a fun day
606
00:29:29,600 --> 00:29:32,720
# Meet my friend She's Ruby Sunday
607
00:29:32,720 --> 00:29:35,520
# It's good to meet you Good to greet you
608
00:29:35,520 --> 00:29:38,080
# Good to say "How diddly-deet you"
609
00:29:38,080 --> 00:29:40,760
# It's my birthday, my, oh, my... #
610
00:29:40,760 --> 00:29:41,960
[ROPE WHIPS]
611
00:29:41,960 --> 00:29:43,680
# I'm 50 miles up in the sky
612
00:29:43,680 --> 00:29:44,800
[WHIRRING]
613
00:29:44,800 --> 00:29:46,400
# But, goblins, you can go to hell
614
00:29:46,400 --> 00:29:49,240
# Cos you're not eating Lulubelle
615
00:29:49,240 --> 00:29:52,640
# Me and Rubes We got just one hope
616
00:29:52,640 --> 00:29:55,760
# If I have understood that rope
617
00:29:55,760 --> 00:29:58,240
# Cos stuck up there when things got hot
618
00:29:58,240 --> 00:30:00,640
# I think I found the master knot
619
00:30:00,640 --> 00:30:03,680
# The master knot has been undone
620
00:30:03,680 --> 00:30:10,120
# That's when we start having fun! #
621
00:30:10,120 --> 00:30:12,080
Hold on tight. Wait, what are you...?
622
00:30:12,080 --> 00:30:14,840
If you reverse intelligent gloves, you get heavy.
623
00:30:16,920 --> 00:30:20,760
[HE WHOOPS SHE SHRIEKS]
624
00:30:20,760 --> 00:30:21,960
[KING ROARS]
625
00:30:21,960 --> 00:30:24,800
How do we stop?! Love the glove, Ruby.
626
00:30:24,800 --> 00:30:25,840
Love the glove!
627
00:30:36,280 --> 00:30:37,880
Well...
628
00:30:37,880 --> 00:30:39,320
Wow.
629
00:30:43,800 --> 00:30:45,520
I'm back!
630
00:30:46,720 --> 00:30:48,480
Hey.
631
00:30:48,480 --> 00:30:50,080
Sorry, I got distracted.
632
00:30:50,080 --> 00:30:54,000
I've given up on that cuppa and opted for a life of abstinence.
633
00:30:55,520 --> 00:30:57,560
And who is this young fellow when he's at home?
634
00:30:58,560 --> 00:31:00,280
Hi, I'm the Doctor.
635
00:31:00,280 --> 00:31:02,920
The last time I saw a doctor, he tried to murder me,
636
00:31:02,920 --> 00:31:04,560
so you stay away.
637
00:31:05,720 --> 00:31:08,200
Oh... Oh, you don't need me.
638
00:31:08,200 --> 00:31:10,280
You got your family looking after you.
639
00:31:10,280 --> 00:31:14,200
We three queens of the sky up here in the attic.
640
00:31:14,200 --> 00:31:17,040
Oh! And your name is Cherry?
641
00:31:17,040 --> 00:31:18,880
It is. Hmm.
642
00:31:18,880 --> 00:31:20,800
Cherry Sunday.
643
00:31:20,800 --> 00:31:23,680
Like a tasty treat. Yes.
644
00:31:23,680 --> 00:31:25,720
I'll see you later, Cherry. OK?
645
00:31:27,720 --> 00:31:28,840
[SHE COOS AT LULU]
646
00:31:28,840 --> 00:31:30,360
Glove. Oh, yeah.
647
00:31:35,280 --> 00:31:37,400
[PINGING]
648
00:31:37,400 --> 00:31:38,920
Only 3% left!
649
00:31:38,920 --> 00:31:42,040
[THUNDER RUMBLES]
650
00:31:38,920 --> 00:31:42,040
So, are we safe now?
651
00:31:42,040 --> 00:31:44,600
I mean, can that ship come sailing down? What do we do?
652
00:31:44,600 --> 00:31:46,160
Can they get us? No, no, no, no.
653
00:31:46,160 --> 00:31:48,360
I don't think they'd invade. Their world is up there
654
00:31:48,360 --> 00:31:51,000
and they creep into ours, on the edges.
655
00:31:51,000 --> 00:31:52,080
Whoa!
656
00:31:52,080 --> 00:31:53,240
Sh-sh!
657
00:31:53,240 --> 00:31:54,680
[HE LAUGHS]
658
00:31:54,680 --> 00:31:56,200
Sh. Accidents.
659
00:31:56,200 --> 00:31:57,880
That is how they get us.
660
00:31:57,880 --> 00:32:00,440
Do they cause ALL accidents?
661
00:32:02,080 --> 00:32:03,560
Maybe they do.
662
00:32:03,560 --> 00:32:06,600
Oh! Is there anything in the kitchen?
663
00:32:06,600 --> 00:32:07,960
Anything burning?
664
00:32:07,960 --> 00:32:09,120
I... Doctor...
665
00:32:09,120 --> 00:32:12,240
Move it! Doctor, what do we do?!
666
00:32:14,320 --> 00:32:15,560
Oh!
667
00:32:15,560 --> 00:32:19,680
Uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-ahh.
668
00:32:19,680 --> 00:32:22,600
Deathtrap! Check everything.
669
00:32:22,600 --> 00:32:24,640
The...the wiring and the plugs!
670
00:32:31,920 --> 00:32:33,200
Who are they?
671
00:32:35,360 --> 00:32:38,640
Oh. That's the family.
672
00:32:38,640 --> 00:32:40,560
It's Mum's children. Oh...
673
00:32:40,560 --> 00:32:43,440
It's all the kids that she's fostered over the years. Wow.
674
00:32:43,440 --> 00:32:45,720
There's so many. I know.
675
00:32:45,720 --> 00:32:47,600
She still keeps in touch with some of them.
676
00:32:47,600 --> 00:32:51,600
Huh. Lots of them. She's amazing.
677
00:32:51,600 --> 00:32:55,120
You have got the biggest family in the world.
678
00:32:55,120 --> 00:32:56,880
I have.
679
00:32:57,960 --> 00:32:59,120
What about you?
680
00:33:00,240 --> 00:33:01,840
Er, I've got no-one.
681
00:33:03,320 --> 00:33:05,200
Make sure the oven is off. Yeah?
682
00:33:06,400 --> 00:33:08,640
You know, if you'd told me I'd be spending my birthday
683
00:33:08,640 --> 00:33:10,080
fighting magic...
684
00:33:10,080 --> 00:33:14,560
It's not magic. It's a language. It's a different form of physics.
685
00:33:14,560 --> 00:33:16,120
Yes. Like magic!
686
00:33:17,440 --> 00:33:19,000
Don't leave the baby alone!
687
00:33:19,000 --> 00:33:20,760
Oh.
688
00:33:22,440 --> 00:33:23,960
[HE COOS AT LULU]
689
00:33:23,960 --> 00:33:25,640
She's all right. She's all right.
690
00:33:25,640 --> 00:33:26,960
[RUBY SIGHS]
691
00:33:26,960 --> 00:33:28,360
Don't leave her!
692
00:33:28,360 --> 00:33:30,080
Er, YOU did too.
693
00:33:30,080 --> 00:33:32,640
I know. But don't.
694
00:33:30,080 --> 00:33:32,640
[DOOR OPENS]
695
00:33:34,160 --> 00:33:36,360
Here comes Santa!
696
00:33:36,360 --> 00:33:39,040
Laden with presents!
697
00:33:40,040 --> 00:33:42,040
Who's your friend?
698
00:33:42,040 --> 00:33:44,720
This is...the...Doctor.
699
00:33:44,720 --> 00:33:47,480
Hello. There's nothing wrong, is there?
700
00:33:47,480 --> 00:33:49,200
Is she all right? The baby?
701
00:33:49,200 --> 00:33:50,720
Yeah. No, she's fine.
702
00:33:52,720 --> 00:33:54,840
Everything all right? What did you do that for?
703
00:33:54,840 --> 00:33:57,040
[URGENT WHISPERING]
704
00:33:57,040 --> 00:33:58,240
Wha gwan?
705
00:33:58,240 --> 00:34:00,760
Can't get a cup of tea round here for love nor money.
706
00:34:00,760 --> 00:34:02,520
[URGENT WHISPERING]
707
00:34:02,520 --> 00:34:04,320
Me get you a packet of humbugs.
708
00:34:04,320 --> 00:34:07,280
Like Scrooge. 'Tis the season!
709
00:34:07,280 --> 00:34:08,720
[URGENT WHISPERING]
710
00:34:08,720 --> 00:34:11,760
I've been looking after... So why do we need a doctor?
711
00:34:11,760 --> 00:34:13,760
It's just a routine visit, that's all.
712
00:34:13,760 --> 00:34:15,160
Oh.
713
00:34:15,160 --> 00:34:16,920
Oh, let me see.
714
00:34:16,920 --> 00:34:19,560
Poor little blossom. This is my mum, Carla.
715
00:34:19,560 --> 00:34:22,960
Oh, look at her. Little chicken.
716
00:34:24,040 --> 00:34:25,680
Hello, Lulubelle.
717
00:34:25,680 --> 00:34:27,560
So she's been OK?
718
00:34:27,560 --> 00:34:29,680
Hmmm. Mm-hm. Hmmm.
719
00:34:29,680 --> 00:34:31,280
What's this?
720
00:34:36,120 --> 00:34:37,960
What's that supposed to be?
721
00:34:37,960 --> 00:34:40,200
Is that an eye? No.
722
00:34:40,200 --> 00:34:42,000
It's a toy. It's the eye of a toy.
723
00:34:42,000 --> 00:34:45,960
She's too young for toys. Where'd you get a toy from, anyway?
724
00:34:47,960 --> 00:34:50,240
Oh, my God. Mum, can we just...?
725
00:34:50,240 --> 00:34:52,440
Can we just stop for a minute?
726
00:34:52,440 --> 00:34:56,000
Because I... I-I've had enough.
727
00:34:56,000 --> 00:34:57,840
This has been the worst day ever.
728
00:34:57,840 --> 00:35:00,280
And it is Christmas, and it's my birthday,
729
00:35:00,280 --> 00:35:01,760
and it's just been a disaster.
730
00:35:01,760 --> 00:35:05,600
No, but there... Look, there was a problem. But it's gone now.
731
00:35:05,600 --> 00:35:07,520
No point worrying your mum.
732
00:35:07,520 --> 00:35:09,840
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Just, um...
733
00:35:11,520 --> 00:35:14,560
What I mean is...
734
00:35:18,120 --> 00:35:19,440
..they phoned.
735
00:35:19,440 --> 00:35:21,720
From the TV show.
736
00:35:21,720 --> 00:35:23,680
When you were out this morning.
737
00:35:25,040 --> 00:35:28,560
But they didn't find anything. Just...
738
00:35:28,560 --> 00:35:30,120
No mum.
739
00:35:31,280 --> 00:35:33,440
No dad. No brothers or sisters.
740
00:35:33,440 --> 00:35:35,720
No cousins. Just... Just...
741
00:35:37,200 --> 00:35:38,440
Nothing.
742
00:35:38,440 --> 00:35:39,840
Oh, sweetheart.
743
00:35:41,640 --> 00:35:43,080
I'm sorry, darling.
744
00:35:43,080 --> 00:35:44,320
Come here. No, I'm all right.
745
00:35:44,320 --> 00:35:45,720
Come here.
746
00:35:49,200 --> 00:35:51,040
I'm glad they didn't find her.
747
00:35:51,040 --> 00:35:53,200
Do you hear me? Glad.
748
00:35:53,200 --> 00:35:55,760
Cos I don't know if I could make room.
749
00:35:55,760 --> 00:35:57,600
Cos you're all mine.
750
00:35:57,600 --> 00:35:59,280
That's what you are.
751
00:35:59,280 --> 00:36:00,800
Isn't she gorgeous?
752
00:36:00,800 --> 00:36:03,360
Yes. Yes, she is.
753
00:36:05,320 --> 00:36:07,640
I was counting when I was out.
754
00:36:07,640 --> 00:36:10,440
Lulubelle is the 33rd child I've fostered.
755
00:36:10,440 --> 00:36:11,960
Oh, my God. I've got photos.
756
00:36:11,960 --> 00:36:14,640
Have a look on the fridge. They're all there.
757
00:36:14,640 --> 00:36:17,200
I had some of them for days, some for weeks,
758
00:36:17,200 --> 00:36:19,880
some for years.
759
00:36:19,880 --> 00:36:21,360
Only one of them stayed.
760
00:36:23,920 --> 00:36:25,200
And you made my life.
761
00:36:25,200 --> 00:36:27,320
You absolutely made my life.
762
00:36:28,760 --> 00:36:30,760
You can wonder about your parents,
763
00:36:30,760 --> 00:36:34,120
but I wonder who I'd be without you.
764
00:36:35,360 --> 00:36:37,040
I'm adopted.
765
00:36:37,040 --> 00:36:38,520
Are you?
766
00:36:40,360 --> 00:36:42,640
Yeah, yeah. I, uh...
767
00:36:42,640 --> 00:36:45,800
I only found out recently. That's a coincidence.
768
00:36:45,800 --> 00:36:48,280
Oh, don't be saying that!
769
00:36:45,800 --> 00:36:48,280
[THUNDER RUMBLES]
770
00:36:48,280 --> 00:36:50,320
So, do you know who your parents are?
771
00:36:50,320 --> 00:36:53,080
No, no, I was... I was abandoned.
772
00:36:53,080 --> 00:36:56,240
Oh, you were a foundling, just like Ruby.
773
00:36:56,240 --> 00:36:58,360
Even bigger coincidence!
774
00:36:56,240 --> 00:36:58,360
[THUNDER RUMBLES]
775
00:36:58,360 --> 00:37:01,000
Maybe we'd better not talk about coincidence. OK?
776
00:37:01,000 --> 00:37:03,280
Do you want to just put that down?
777
00:37:03,280 --> 00:37:05,560
I'll take that for you. All right.
778
00:37:05,560 --> 00:37:08,520
I took a photo of little Lady Lu when she arrived.
779
00:37:08,520 --> 00:37:10,360
Look at her, though.
780
00:37:10,360 --> 00:37:12,960
She's so gorgeous.
781
00:37:12,960 --> 00:37:14,840
Don't you just want to eat her up?
782
00:37:14,840 --> 00:37:17,520
Oh, and that's a coincidence.
783
00:37:17,520 --> 00:37:19,040
[THUNDER RUMBLES]
784
00:37:20,320 --> 00:37:22,720
[CRACKING]
785
00:37:22,720 --> 00:37:24,080
What the hell?!
786
00:37:24,080 --> 00:37:25,560
Hold on. Don't move, don't move.
787
00:37:25,560 --> 00:37:27,560
Don't move. Mum, don't move!
788
00:37:27,560 --> 00:37:30,440
[CREAKING]
789
00:37:33,440 --> 00:37:35,720
[CREAKING]
790
00:37:38,120 --> 00:37:41,720
[WIND WHISTLES]
791
00:37:41,720 --> 00:37:43,640
They're gone.
792
00:37:41,720 --> 00:37:43,640
[HE MURMURS]
793
00:37:43,640 --> 00:37:44,880
Parting gift.
794
00:37:47,320 --> 00:37:48,640
[HE LAUGHS]
795
00:37:48,640 --> 00:37:50,120
Lucky at last!
796
00:37:52,640 --> 00:37:54,680
I think that was them saying goodbye.
797
00:37:56,720 --> 00:37:58,560
Cherry, all good?
798
00:37:58,560 --> 00:38:01,320
One cup of tea, massi Lawd. Just one.
799
00:38:02,360 --> 00:38:04,800
Thank you, Cherry. Thank you.
800
00:38:07,560 --> 00:38:08,640
All good, Lulubelle?
801
00:38:08,640 --> 00:38:11,040
Oh, such a good name.
802
00:38:08,640 --> 00:38:11,040
[LULU COOS]
803
00:38:11,040 --> 00:38:13,200
But what the hell was that?
804
00:38:13,200 --> 00:38:15,280
Look at the ceiling!
805
00:38:15,280 --> 00:38:16,400
And the window!
806
00:38:16,400 --> 00:38:18,120
I'm going to freeze.
807
00:38:18,120 --> 00:38:20,360
Who's going to fix that on Christmas Eve?
808
00:38:20,360 --> 00:38:23,080
Bye-bye. Ta-ra.
809
00:38:23,080 --> 00:38:24,360
Who are you talking to?
810
00:38:24,360 --> 00:38:25,960
No-one.
811
00:38:25,960 --> 00:38:27,840
Nothing. Just...
812
00:38:32,040 --> 00:38:33,480
Ah!
813
00:38:33,480 --> 00:38:35,440
Absolutely nothing.
814
00:38:36,560 --> 00:38:39,080
But the whole flat just cracked in half.
815
00:38:40,280 --> 00:38:43,240
Now tell me what the hell just happened!
816
00:38:43,240 --> 00:38:46,040
Maybe we should sit you down and tell you a Christmas story, huh?
817
00:38:46,040 --> 00:38:47,320
What do you think, Ruby?
818
00:38:51,640 --> 00:38:53,000
Ruby?
819
00:38:59,040 --> 00:39:00,520
Where did she go?
820
00:39:05,360 --> 00:39:06,680
Ruby!
821
00:39:09,800 --> 00:39:11,440
Ruby, are you there?
822
00:39:16,560 --> 00:39:18,920
Sorry. Sorry, but...
823
00:39:18,920 --> 00:39:20,400
Where's she gone?
824
00:39:20,400 --> 00:39:22,960
What are you on about? I'm looking for your daughter.
825
00:39:22,960 --> 00:39:25,040
Don't be daft. Lulu's not my daughter.
826
00:39:25,040 --> 00:39:26,960
I'm fostering her just for a couple of days.
827
00:39:26,960 --> 00:39:29,440
No, no, no, no, I mean... I mean your daughter Ruby.
828
00:39:30,440 --> 00:39:31,600
Who's Ruby?
829
00:39:34,200 --> 00:39:35,640
Your daughter.
830
00:39:35,640 --> 00:39:37,520
I told you, this is Lulu.
831
00:39:37,520 --> 00:39:41,400
And she's a right old pain on Christmas Eve. Last thing I need.
832
00:39:41,400 --> 00:39:42,720
But...
833
00:39:51,280 --> 00:39:53,520
What do you want in the spare room?
834
00:39:55,840 --> 00:39:57,520
[HE BREATHES QUICKLY]
835
00:39:58,720 --> 00:40:01,360
Cherry... Do you remember Ruby?
836
00:40:03,120 --> 00:40:04,760
What you talkin' about?
837
00:40:04,760 --> 00:40:07,360
Your granddaughter is called Ruby.
838
00:40:09,200 --> 00:40:11,520
There is no pickney in this home.
839
00:40:13,040 --> 00:40:15,240
We were never so blessed.
840
00:40:17,240 --> 00:40:19,040
[CRACKING]
841
00:40:21,280 --> 00:40:25,800
You had another child named Ruby.
842
00:40:25,800 --> 00:40:28,440
I've never had children, mate. No. You adopted her.
843
00:40:28,440 --> 00:40:30,280
I foster.
844
00:40:30,280 --> 00:40:32,080
Now, don't be so stupid.
845
00:40:32,080 --> 00:40:35,320
I'm a foster mother. Just do it now and then, that's all.
846
00:40:35,320 --> 00:40:38,400
I've had about five or six kids.
847
00:40:38,400 --> 00:40:40,200
No, no, no, no. You had...
848
00:40:42,200 --> 00:40:44,040
They've gone. Who has?
849
00:40:47,400 --> 00:40:48,840
Your children.
850
00:40:50,600 --> 00:40:52,920
All those lives.
851
00:40:52,920 --> 00:40:55,600
You fostered 33.
852
00:40:55,600 --> 00:40:58,520
How many? Not me, darling.
853
00:40:58,520 --> 00:41:01,000
Don't be so stupid.
854
00:41:01,000 --> 00:41:02,840
That's too much like hard work.
855
00:41:02,840 --> 00:41:05,720
No way. I just put my name on the list when I need a bit of money.
856
00:41:05,720 --> 00:41:06,880
No, you don't.
857
00:41:07,880 --> 00:41:10,600
£800 per child. Don't say that.
858
00:41:10,600 --> 00:41:14,040
I think you got me mixed up with someone else.
859
00:41:14,040 --> 00:41:16,600
Cos there is no Ruby.
860
00:41:16,600 --> 00:41:18,360
There's just me
861
00:41:18,360 --> 00:41:20,520
stuck with my old mum
862
00:41:20,520 --> 00:41:22,560
up here in the attic.
863
00:41:22,560 --> 00:41:24,680
And I'm busy.
864
00:41:24,680 --> 00:41:27,160
I couldn't have a kid full-time.
865
00:41:27,160 --> 00:41:29,680
It'd be a nightmare.
866
00:41:29,680 --> 00:41:33,600
This little brat arrives, ruining my holiday.
867
00:41:33,600 --> 00:41:35,520
I was looking forward to it.
868
00:41:36,920 --> 00:41:39,920
Christmas Day. Mum's asleep by three
869
00:41:39,920 --> 00:41:41,880
and I'll be all on my own.
870
00:41:44,280 --> 00:41:46,600
Why would I want a daughter?
871
00:41:46,600 --> 00:41:48,360
I'm happy as I am.
872
00:41:50,400 --> 00:41:52,120
Then why are you crying?
873
00:41:56,600 --> 00:41:57,960
I don't know.
874
00:42:00,360 --> 00:42:01,720
Why are YOU?
875
00:42:04,560 --> 00:42:06,160
[HE SOBS]
876
00:42:15,760 --> 00:42:17,840
They took the baby.
877
00:42:17,840 --> 00:42:20,760
They went back. They took the baby. The other baby.
878
00:42:21,960 --> 00:42:23,760
They went back in time
879
00:42:23,760 --> 00:42:25,760
and took Ruby instead of Lulubelle.
880
00:42:28,080 --> 00:42:30,800
They cracked the timeline.
881
00:42:30,800 --> 00:42:33,520
But I will fix this.
882
00:42:33,520 --> 00:42:35,120
I will fix this.
883
00:42:47,360 --> 00:42:49,680
[METALLIC THRUMMING]
884
00:42:55,160 --> 00:42:56,800
MUSIC: Carol Of The Bells
885
00:42:56,800 --> 00:42:58,080
# Sweet silver bells
886
00:42:58,080 --> 00:43:00,040
# All seem to say Throw cares away
887
00:43:00,040 --> 00:43:02,520
# Christmas is here Bringing good cheer... #
888
00:43:02,520 --> 00:43:04,600
[BABY GURGLES]
889
00:43:04,600 --> 00:43:06,800
# Ding, dong, ding, dong That is their song
890
00:43:06,800 --> 00:43:08,840
# With joyful ring All carolling
891
00:43:08,840 --> 00:43:11,440
# One seems to hear Words of good cheer... #
892
00:43:11,440 --> 00:43:13,280
[BABY CRIES]
893
00:43:13,280 --> 00:43:15,720
[CHITTERING AND LAUGHTER]
894
00:43:17,600 --> 00:43:19,360
[BABY CRIES]
895
00:43:23,320 --> 00:43:24,960
[GOBLIN SHOUTS]
896
00:43:31,360 --> 00:43:33,360
[KING SNARLS]
897
00:43:39,560 --> 00:43:41,840
GOBLINS: # Oh, now we feast! Oh, eat the beast!
898
00:43:41,840 --> 00:43:43,000
# Oh, now we feast!
899
00:43:43,000 --> 00:43:44,240
# Oh, eat the beast!
900
00:43:44,240 --> 00:43:46,600
# Oh, now we feast! # Oh, eat the beast!
901
00:43:46,600 --> 00:43:48,880
# Oh, now we feast! Oh, eat the beast! #
902
00:43:48,880 --> 00:43:50,400
[HE GRUNTS]
903
00:43:53,360 --> 00:43:55,600
[WHIRRING]
904
00:43:57,200 --> 00:43:59,120
[HE GRUNTS]
905
00:44:05,800 --> 00:44:08,000
[CREAKING AND RUMBLING]
906
00:44:09,840 --> 00:44:11,880
# Oh, now we feast! Oh, eat the beast!
907
00:44:11,880 --> 00:44:13,760
# Oh, now we feast!
908
00:44:13,760 --> 00:44:14,800
# Oh, eat the beast! #
909
00:44:14,800 --> 00:44:16,320
[HE GRUNTS]
910
00:44:17,680 --> 00:44:20,160
Down! Down!
911
00:44:22,080 --> 00:44:24,120
# Oh, now we feast! Oh, eat the beast!
912
00:44:24,120 --> 00:44:26,160
# Oh, now we feast... #
913
00:44:26,160 --> 00:44:27,720
[HE GROANS]
914
00:44:29,440 --> 00:44:31,200
[HE CRIES OUT]
915
00:44:31,200 --> 00:44:33,840
[KING SNARLS]
916
00:44:52,360 --> 00:44:54,280
[ROARING]
917
00:44:59,000 --> 00:45:00,120
[KING ROARS]
918
00:45:00,120 --> 00:45:01,360
[BABY CRIES]
919
00:45:04,800 --> 00:45:07,720
[KING ROARS]
920
00:45:09,120 --> 00:45:10,560
[GOBLINS SHRIEK]
921
00:45:17,280 --> 00:45:19,680
[CREAKING]
922
00:45:25,600 --> 00:45:28,160
[BABY CRIES]
923
00:45:29,760 --> 00:45:30,800
Oh.
924
00:45:35,560 --> 00:45:36,760
Ruby.
925
00:45:38,080 --> 00:45:40,080
FAINT MUSIC: Carol Of The Bells
926
00:45:41,280 --> 00:45:43,400
It's OK, it's OK, it's OK.
927
00:45:45,320 --> 00:45:47,800
Aha. It's OK.
928
00:45:54,640 --> 00:45:56,080
Happy birthday, Ruby.
929
00:45:58,400 --> 00:45:59,520
Sh-sh-sh.
930
00:45:59,520 --> 00:46:01,280
# Oh, how they pound Raising the sound
931
00:46:01,280 --> 00:46:03,480
# O'er hill and dale Telling their tale
932
00:46:03,480 --> 00:46:05,520
# Gaily they ring While people sing
933
00:46:05,520 --> 00:46:07,880
# Songs of good cheer Christmas is here
934
00:46:07,880 --> 00:46:10,160
# Merry, merry, merry, merry Christmas
935
00:46:10,160 --> 00:46:12,240
# Merry, merry, merry, merry Christmas
936
00:46:12,240 --> 00:46:15,120
# On, on they send On without end... #
937
00:46:15,120 --> 00:46:16,880
RUMBLING
938
00:46:16,880 --> 00:46:17,960
[CLOCK CHIMES]
939
00:46:17,960 --> 00:46:19,280
# Sweet silver bells
940
00:46:19,280 --> 00:46:21,160
# All seem to say Throw cares away
941
00:46:21,160 --> 00:46:22,400
# Christmas is here
942
00:46:22,400 --> 00:46:23,760
Bringing good cheer
943
00:46:23,760 --> 00:46:25,840
# To young and old Meek and the bold
944
00:46:25,840 --> 00:46:28,480
# Ding, dong, ding, dong That is their song
945
00:46:28,480 --> 00:46:30,320
# With joyful ring All carolling
946
00:46:30,320 --> 00:46:32,200
# One seems to hear Words of good cheer
947
00:46:32,200 --> 00:46:34,800
# From ev'rywhere Filling the air
948
00:46:34,800 --> 00:46:36,960
# Oh, how they pound Raising the sound
949
00:46:36,960 --> 00:46:39,000
# O'er hill and dale Telling their tale
950
00:46:39,000 --> 00:46:41,600
# Gaily they ring While people sing
951
00:46:41,600 --> 00:46:43,880
# Songs of good cheer Christmas is here... #
952
00:46:43,880 --> 00:46:45,840
[MUSIC FADES]
953
00:47:00,000 --> 00:47:04,120
[METALLIC THRUMMING]
954
00:47:19,160 --> 00:47:20,480
[SONIC WHIRS]
955
00:47:27,720 --> 00:47:29,120
[SONIC WHIRS]
956
00:47:35,920 --> 00:47:37,120
Oh, yes.
957
00:47:39,360 --> 00:47:41,120
[HE LAUGHS]
958
00:47:41,120 --> 00:47:42,680
Oh, there you are!
959
00:47:42,680 --> 00:47:45,920
What? Where did you go...?
960
00:47:45,920 --> 00:47:47,640
[THEY LAUGH]
961
00:47:47,640 --> 00:47:50,000
Oh! Happy birthday.
962
00:47:50,000 --> 00:47:53,040
What happened? I turned around and you were gone.
963
00:47:53,040 --> 00:47:54,240
You were sort of...
964
00:47:54,240 --> 00:47:56,200
I don't know, cos I was here, but I got a bit lost.
965
00:47:56,200 --> 00:47:57,800
But what...? What happened?
966
00:47:57,800 --> 00:48:00,600
Ooh, lots of things. Cos they went back.
967
00:48:00,600 --> 00:48:02,640
You were gone. They took you as a baby.
968
00:48:02,640 --> 00:48:04,800
So I went back, and then...
969
00:48:08,040 --> 00:48:09,400
I forgot something.
970
00:48:09,400 --> 00:48:11,720
Yes!
971
00:48:09,400 --> 00:48:11,720
[HE LAUGHS]
972
00:48:13,400 --> 00:48:14,840
Just...
973
00:48:27,520 --> 00:48:31,240
[METALLIC THRUMMING]
974
00:48:31,240 --> 00:48:33,320
And next time it might be...
975
00:48:33,320 --> 00:48:35,120
Ah!
976
00:48:33,320 --> 00:48:35,120
[THUD]
977
00:48:35,120 --> 00:48:36,960
Ta-da!
978
00:48:36,960 --> 00:48:38,320
[DAVINA LAUGHS]
979
00:48:38,320 --> 00:48:40,680
You saved my life.
980
00:48:41,760 --> 00:48:44,280
Merry Christmas, Davina McCall.
981
00:49:11,400 --> 00:49:13,720
[SHE WHISTLES]
982
00:49:13,720 --> 00:49:16,400
Busy man, sweetheart.
983
00:49:16,400 --> 00:49:18,400
You and your box of tricks!
984
00:49:22,560 --> 00:49:26,480
You look like you've lost a pound and found a sixpence.
985
00:49:27,480 --> 00:49:29,960
What's wrong? Just wondering.
986
00:49:32,520 --> 00:49:34,320
Maybe I'M the bad luck.
987
00:49:35,920 --> 00:49:38,200
[WIND WHISTLES]
988
00:49:35,920 --> 00:49:38,200
Hallelujah! Praise the Lord.
989
00:49:38,200 --> 00:49:40,960
I thought this day would never come. Me tea reach at last.
990
00:49:40,960 --> 00:49:43,880
And don't forget. Two yellow pills at five o'clock.
991
00:49:43,880 --> 00:49:46,760
But you're the least of my problems.
992
00:49:46,760 --> 00:49:48,760
What do we do tonight?
993
00:49:49,800 --> 00:49:52,920
This crack - it's like a wind tunnel.
994
00:49:52,920 --> 00:49:55,160
What are we supposed to do on Christmas Day?
995
00:49:55,160 --> 00:49:56,960
Sit here and freeze?
996
00:49:56,960 --> 00:50:00,320
And who is he anyway, that man? What's his name?
997
00:50:00,320 --> 00:50:02,840
Doctor what?
998
00:50:02,840 --> 00:50:05,280
What did he mean, he went back?
999
00:50:05,280 --> 00:50:08,400
What sort of doctor? Did he say?
1000
00:50:08,400 --> 00:50:10,320
Who the hell is he?
1001
00:50:10,320 --> 00:50:11,800
I'd better go.
1002
00:50:12,760 --> 00:50:14,480
Merry Christmas.
1003
00:50:14,480 --> 00:50:16,680
Who are you, anyway?
1004
00:50:16,680 --> 00:50:19,360
No-one. Just passing by.
1005
00:50:19,360 --> 00:50:21,640
Well, you take care.
1006
00:50:25,320 --> 00:50:26,880
Where did he come from?
1007
00:50:26,880 --> 00:50:28,560
Why was he even here in the first place?
1008
00:50:28,560 --> 00:50:31,960
I don't know. He sort of popped up at the right moment.
1009
00:50:34,480 --> 00:50:36,160
And then he was gone.
1010
00:50:39,160 --> 00:50:41,440
Like...how?
1011
00:50:43,480 --> 00:50:44,920
[SHE LAUGHS]
1012
00:50:46,880 --> 00:50:51,040
It's all been so mad, I haven't actually had time to stop and think.
1013
00:50:51,040 --> 00:50:53,840
He said I was taken as a baby. Isn't that what he said just now?
1014
00:50:53,840 --> 00:50:55,360
I don't know. He's crazy.
1015
00:50:55,360 --> 00:50:58,960
He went back. He said he went back. What did he mean, he went back?
1016
00:50:58,960 --> 00:51:01,600
When was Houdini? What?
1017
00:51:01,600 --> 00:51:04,920
When was Houdini? Houdini was, like, 1900s, 1920s.
1018
00:51:05,960 --> 00:51:07,360
How could he...?
1019
00:51:08,560 --> 00:51:11,640
And then he spoke about time travellers and then he...
1020
00:51:19,600 --> 00:51:21,200
Where are you going now?
1021
00:51:24,560 --> 00:51:26,720
[DOOR CLOSES UPSTAIRS]
1022
00:51:35,000 --> 00:51:37,120
Where is he? Where is he?
1023
00:51:38,560 --> 00:51:40,600
Mrs Flood, did you see?
1024
00:51:40,600 --> 00:51:44,080
There was a man, and he was about so high, and amazing,
1025
00:51:44,080 --> 00:51:45,920
in a big leather coat?
1026
00:51:46,960 --> 00:51:48,600
What do you mean?
1027
00:51:55,480 --> 00:51:57,160
[DOOR OPENS]
1028
00:52:24,880 --> 00:52:26,440
[DOOR CLOSES]
1029
00:52:27,920 --> 00:52:29,520
[SHE LAUGHS]
1030
00:52:38,920 --> 00:52:40,800
Oh...
1031
00:52:46,240 --> 00:52:48,360
Good luck, Ruby.
1032
00:52:56,840 --> 00:52:58,440
[SHE EXHALES]
1033
00:53:14,200 --> 00:53:15,800
[DOOR CLOSES]
1034
00:53:23,120 --> 00:53:24,440
Who are you?
1035
00:53:27,920 --> 00:53:29,680
I'm the Doctor.
1036
00:53:42,400 --> 00:53:45,640
[METALLIC THRUMMING]
1037
00:53:48,080 --> 00:53:49,800
Mrs Flood, did you see that?
1038
00:53:49,800 --> 00:53:52,840
Mrs Flood, did you see?
1039
00:53:52,840 --> 00:53:56,600
The box thing! It just vanished.
1040
00:53:56,600 --> 00:53:58,520
It was there
1041
00:53:58,520 --> 00:54:00,080
and then it wasn't.
1042
00:54:01,240 --> 00:54:02,680
It just disappeared.
1043
00:54:04,280 --> 00:54:06,680
Oh, merry Christmas, Abdul.
1044
00:54:06,680 --> 00:54:08,600
Stop making such a fuss.
1045
00:54:18,880 --> 00:54:20,840
Never seen a TARDIS before?
70480
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