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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,334 --> 00:00:04,537 (Man and dog howling) 2 00:00:04,571 --> 00:00:07,240 ♪ Oh, froggie went a-courtin, she did go ♪ 3 00:00:07,273 --> 00:00:09,376 -(Man and dog howling) -(Whispers): Two minutes. 4 00:00:09,409 --> 00:00:11,411 ♪ Froggie went a-courtin, she did go ♪ 5 00:00:11,444 --> 00:00:13,613 (Man and dog howling) 6 00:00:13,646 --> 00:00:15,849 ♪ Froggie went a-courtin, she did go ♪ 7 00:00:15,882 --> 00:00:18,118 ♪ to the late night show at the coconut grove ♪ 8 00:00:18,151 --> 00:00:20,320 (Man and dog howling) 9 00:00:20,353 --> 00:00:22,655 ♪ Froggie went a-courtin, she did go ♪ 10 00:00:22,689 --> 00:00:24,758 -(Man howling) -(Whispers): Come, lets go. 11 00:00:24,791 --> 00:00:26,292 Lets go. 12 00:00:26,326 --> 00:00:27,560 (Man and dog howling) 13 00:00:27,594 --> 00:00:29,362 Take a bowwow, maxie. 14 00:00:29,396 --> 00:00:31,398 (Man and dog howling) 15 00:00:33,633 --> 00:00:34,567 Studio clear. 16 00:00:34,601 --> 00:00:36,269 -(Bell ringing) -Lets strike the set, boys. 17 00:00:36,302 --> 00:00:38,138 Come on, lets go, lets go. Move it. 18 00:00:38,171 --> 00:00:39,572 You okay, Max? 19 00:00:39,606 --> 00:00:42,208 Any better, and ID be in a pine box. 20 00:00:42,242 --> 00:00:44,477 Its this bunch of losers im worried about. 21 00:00:44,511 --> 00:00:45,578 (Chuckles) 22 00:00:45,612 --> 00:00:48,681 Ah, who we got here tonight, smiley? 23 00:00:48,715 --> 00:00:50,750 Global Elvis? 24 00:00:50,784 --> 00:00:54,621 Fowl-- oh, thats the chicken farmer, huh? 25 00:00:54,654 --> 00:00:57,457 Uh... I Claudia? 26 00:00:57,490 --> 00:00:59,626 Smiley: She reads her diary out loud. 27 00:00:59,659 --> 00:01:01,394 Its a real downer. 28 00:01:01,428 --> 00:01:04,497 Well, at least we got the blue angel at midnight, right? 29 00:01:04,531 --> 00:01:08,601 Smiley, I need to talk to Max for a second. 30 00:01:08,635 --> 00:01:10,870 Elmer, take that hat off. 31 00:01:10,904 --> 00:01:12,639 I will not. 32 00:01:12,672 --> 00:01:16,176 Look, im sick and tired of all this patriotic bullpucky. 33 00:01:16,209 --> 00:01:18,912 50 years ago, you loved america, too. 34 00:01:18,945 --> 00:01:21,815 Ah... worlds smallest violin. 35 00:01:21,848 --> 00:01:24,918 Are you really letting the blue angel back on the air tonight? 36 00:01:24,951 --> 00:01:27,921 Listen, who runs this station, you or me? 37 00:01:27,954 --> 00:01:30,256 Well, you want kids watching that filth? 38 00:01:30,290 --> 00:01:34,194 The fcc allows adult fare after midnight. 39 00:01:34,227 --> 00:01:37,297 Now, any kid whos not in bed, thats his problem. 40 00:01:37,330 --> 00:01:41,501 Those phones only ring for the blue angel. 41 00:01:41,534 --> 00:01:43,636 Thats what pays the bills around here. 42 00:01:43,670 --> 00:01:46,406 The bottom line is, you got to give the peop... (Coughing) 43 00:01:46,439 --> 00:01:47,874 You got to give the people... 44 00:01:47,907 --> 00:01:49,409 (Coughing) 45 00:01:49,442 --> 00:01:50,643 Youve been smoking again, havent you? 46 00:01:50,677 --> 00:01:52,545 No, no. I swear to god. 47 00:01:52,579 --> 00:01:54,347 (Coughing, wheezing) 48 00:01:54,380 --> 00:01:56,516 Sit down. 49 00:01:56,549 --> 00:01:58,551 (Wheezing continues) 50 00:02:01,454 --> 00:02:04,858 Max has been working here since the early days of television. 51 00:02:04,891 --> 00:02:08,862 Back then, television was full of promise. 52 00:02:08,895 --> 00:02:10,697 And so was Max. 53 00:02:10,730 --> 00:02:12,398 (Wheezing) 54 00:02:12,432 --> 00:02:13,766 He obviously needs an angel. 55 00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:15,768 Hes already had three. 56 00:02:15,802 --> 00:02:17,203 You? 57 00:02:17,237 --> 00:02:18,705 And you? 58 00:02:19,939 --> 00:02:21,841 (Chuckles): And you? 59 00:02:21,875 --> 00:02:23,910 Well be here if you need US, baby, 60 00:02:23,943 --> 00:02:25,712 but its your turn now. 61 00:02:25,745 --> 00:02:29,983 The way things are going, youre his last chance. 62 00:02:30,016 --> 00:02:32,919 (Coughing) 63 00:02:44,397 --> 00:02:47,600 ♪ When you walk 64 00:02:47,634 --> 00:02:50,603 ♪ down the road 65 00:02:50,637 --> 00:02:52,805 ♪ heavy burden 66 00:02:52,839 --> 00:02:56,709 ♪ heavy load 67 00:02:56,743 --> 00:02:59,579 ♪ I will rise 68 00:02:59,612 --> 00:03:03,383 ♪ and I will walk with you 69 00:03:03,416 --> 00:03:05,985 ♪ ill walk with you 70 00:03:06,019 --> 00:03:09,255 ♪ till the sun dont even shine ♪ 71 00:03:09,289 --> 00:03:12,358 ♪ walk with you 72 00:03:12,392 --> 00:03:14,694 ♪ every time, I tell you 73 00:03:14,727 --> 00:03:17,997 ♪ ill walk with you 74 00:03:18,031 --> 00:03:19,866 ♪ 75 00:03:18,031 --> 00:03:19,866 Walk with you 76 00:03:18,031 --> 00:03:22,235 ♪ believe me, ill walk with you. ♪ 77 00:03:28,041 --> 00:03:30,843 On February 11, 1963, my favorite poet, 78 00:03:30,877 --> 00:03:33,880 Sylvia plath, stuck her head in a gas oven. 79 00:03:33,913 --> 00:03:36,482 I would, too, but my mom has electric; 80 00:03:36,516 --> 00:03:38,618 so instead, I keep this diary 81 00:03:38,651 --> 00:03:40,987 to tell the world what its like to suffer 82 00:03:41,020 --> 00:03:44,324 as I, Claudia, have suffered. 83 00:03:44,357 --> 00:03:45,692 (Whispers): Max. 84 00:03:45,725 --> 00:03:47,060 Claudia: Monday, I was depressed. 85 00:03:47,093 --> 00:03:48,661 Elmer (whispers): Max. 86 00:03:48,695 --> 00:03:52,031 Claudia: Tuesday, I was freaked out. 87 00:03:52,065 --> 00:03:54,934 Wednesday, I was really bummed. 88 00:03:54,968 --> 00:03:57,503 Elmer (whispers): Max. Max. 89 00:03:57,537 --> 00:03:58,871 Elmer, what do you want? 90 00:03:58,905 --> 00:04:00,373 How are you feeling? 91 00:04:00,406 --> 00:04:02,408 Can you breathe any better? 92 00:04:02,442 --> 00:04:04,577 Just keep morticia in frame, will ya? 93 00:04:04,611 --> 00:04:06,546 And mind your own beeswax. 94 00:04:06,579 --> 00:04:07,947 Ah. 95 00:04:07,981 --> 00:04:10,283 Claudia: Thursday was a day from hell. 96 00:04:12,418 --> 00:04:15,955 Friday, I realized life was totally meaningless. 97 00:04:15,989 --> 00:04:20,960 Saturday, I stayed in bed with the covers over my head. 98 00:04:20,994 --> 00:04:23,529 Sunday was okay. 99 00:04:23,563 --> 00:04:25,665 Wait... no. 100 00:04:25,698 --> 00:04:26,933 It stank, too. 101 00:04:26,966 --> 00:04:28,668 Gloria: Hello. 102 00:04:28,701 --> 00:04:31,537 Excuse me. Hi. 103 00:04:31,571 --> 00:04:34,007 Do you have anything positive you could share? 104 00:04:34,040 --> 00:04:36,809 Positive? 105 00:04:36,843 --> 00:04:40,713 I cant bare my soul if im going to be harassed. 106 00:04:40,747 --> 00:04:41,948 Whats going on here?! 107 00:04:41,981 --> 00:04:43,683 Were on the air. 108 00:04:46,452 --> 00:04:48,554 Smiley, get in the booth. 109 00:04:48,588 --> 00:04:50,423 Uh, honey, honey, 110 00:04:50,456 --> 00:04:52,592 uh, youre-youre on the air, sweetheart. 111 00:04:52,625 --> 00:04:54,027 Youre live. 112 00:04:54,060 --> 00:04:55,995 Live. 113 00:04:56,029 --> 00:04:58,131 I dont feel live. 114 00:04:58,164 --> 00:04:59,832 Thats the whole point. 115 00:05:01,167 --> 00:05:03,603 Announcer: We are experiencing technical difficulties. 116 00:05:03,636 --> 00:05:05,972 -Please stand by. -(Bell ringing) 117 00:05:06,005 --> 00:05:09,542 Listen, miss wisenheimer, you got an opinion to express, 118 00:05:09,575 --> 00:05:13,546 you sign up for your own show like the rest of these bums. 119 00:05:13,579 --> 00:05:15,114 But im here to see you, Max. Im Gloria. 120 00:05:15,148 --> 00:05:17,984 Im a health aid with life support. 121 00:05:18,017 --> 00:05:20,153 I brought you something to help you breathe easier. 122 00:05:20,186 --> 00:05:22,121 -I didnt order that. Beat it! -I did. 123 00:05:22,155 --> 00:05:24,390 But before you blow your stack, 124 00:05:24,424 --> 00:05:25,892 just remember what the doctor said. 125 00:05:25,925 --> 00:05:27,860 Emphysema is a life threatening... 126 00:05:27,894 --> 00:05:29,729 Youre fired! 127 00:05:29,762 --> 00:05:32,699 And you got five minutes to get off the lot. 128 00:05:32,732 --> 00:05:34,867 (Sighs) 129 00:05:34,901 --> 00:05:36,502 Man (over P.A.): All right, whos on next? Elvis? 130 00:05:36,536 --> 00:05:37,537 Okay, thats fine. 131 00:05:37,570 --> 00:05:38,871 Hurry up, get him on, get him on. 132 00:05:38,905 --> 00:05:39,972 (Max coughing) 133 00:05:40,006 --> 00:05:42,008 Smiley: Its all yours, Max. 134 00:05:45,478 --> 00:05:47,613 You know, hes just trying to help. 135 00:05:47,647 --> 00:05:48,948 Ah, dont worry about Elmer. 136 00:05:48,981 --> 00:05:49,949 (Chuckles) 137 00:05:49,982 --> 00:05:52,151 I fire him every day. 138 00:05:54,787 --> 00:05:56,556 You know, elmers like glue. 139 00:05:56,589 --> 00:05:59,625 Once he sticks with you, you cant get rid of him. 140 00:05:59,659 --> 00:06:01,828 You really shouldnt be smoking in your condition. 141 00:06:02,829 --> 00:06:03,663 Listen, Max... 142 00:06:05,798 --> 00:06:08,801 I-I was only doing this for your own... 143 00:06:12,238 --> 00:06:13,673 Is that a cigarette? 144 00:06:15,675 --> 00:06:17,977 So what if it is? 145 00:06:18,010 --> 00:06:19,612 (Sighs) 146 00:06:19,645 --> 00:06:22,048 Dont you get it, Elmer? 147 00:06:22,081 --> 00:06:25,618 I dont give a rats whisker if I live or die. 148 00:06:25,651 --> 00:06:28,154 And I dont need any help from you or... 149 00:06:28,187 --> 00:06:29,455 Gloria. 150 00:06:29,489 --> 00:06:30,923 Whatever. 151 00:06:30,957 --> 00:06:34,026 Just leave me alone. 152 00:06:34,060 --> 00:06:35,695 Go on. 153 00:06:35,728 --> 00:06:37,797 Get back to your camera. 154 00:06:37,830 --> 00:06:42,535 Smiley, come on, put somebody on the air, will ya? 155 00:06:42,568 --> 00:06:45,638 Announcer: Youre watching public access channel 9 156 00:06:45,671 --> 00:06:47,206 -for Indiana. -(Max coughing) 157 00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:52,111 I know its hard to believe, but he wasnt always like this. 158 00:06:52,145 --> 00:06:54,213 He used to be a mensch. 159 00:06:59,118 --> 00:07:00,787 Mensch? 160 00:07:00,820 --> 00:07:04,123 It means great guy, and thats what Max used to be. 161 00:07:04,157 --> 00:07:06,492 But that was a long time ago. 162 00:07:06,526 --> 00:07:08,961 Back in 1948. 163 00:07:08,995 --> 00:07:12,265 Okay, kids, my names Max. 164 00:07:12,298 --> 00:07:15,802 Now, when I hold up this sign, you show me what you do. 165 00:07:15,835 --> 00:07:16,803 (Kids cheer) 166 00:07:16,836 --> 00:07:19,071 -Thats right. -Hey, Max! 167 00:07:19,105 --> 00:07:20,573 Oh, say, this heres my pal, Elmer. 168 00:07:20,606 --> 00:07:21,774 We were in the war together. 169 00:07:21,808 --> 00:07:23,676 (Chuckles) Yeah, and we still are. 170 00:07:23,709 --> 00:07:24,877 -Man: Max! -Elmer: Oh, boy. 171 00:07:24,911 --> 00:07:27,113 Max. Max. 172 00:07:27,146 --> 00:07:29,182 Oh, I can never find out whats going on around-- 173 00:07:29,215 --> 00:07:31,117 well, listen. 174 00:07:31,150 --> 00:07:33,119 Wheres the, wheres the story lady? 175 00:07:33,152 --> 00:07:34,287 Where is the story lady? 176 00:07:34,320 --> 00:07:35,822 -Here. -Ah. 177 00:07:35,855 --> 00:07:38,624 Who you supposed to be? 178 00:07:38,658 --> 00:07:40,092 Im Betsy Ross. 179 00:07:40,126 --> 00:07:41,694 (Balloon pops, kids laugh) 180 00:07:41,727 --> 00:07:43,963 You little monster, you do that again and ill cut... 181 00:07:43,996 --> 00:07:45,965 Pardon me, thats no way to talk to a child. 182 00:07:45,998 --> 00:07:47,166 And you really shouldnt be drinking 183 00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:48,267 in front of the children. 184 00:07:48,301 --> 00:07:50,203 Listen, doll face, I can replace you 185 00:07:50,236 --> 00:07:52,605 -with any broad in this... -I beg your pardon. 186 00:07:52,638 --> 00:07:53,739 Uh, uh, excuse me, sir. 187 00:07:53,773 --> 00:07:54,841 I believe the sponsor said 188 00:07:54,874 --> 00:07:57,643 he wanted to have a word with you. 189 00:07:57,677 --> 00:07:58,945 Yeah. 190 00:08:02,048 --> 00:08:05,017 (Kids laugh) 191 00:08:05,051 --> 00:08:07,253 You certainly seem to enjoy your job. 192 00:08:07,286 --> 00:08:09,956 Oh, uh, im just the applause sign guy. 193 00:08:09,989 --> 00:08:11,791 But a guys got to start somewhere. 194 00:08:11,824 --> 00:08:12,792 Where are you going? 195 00:08:12,825 --> 00:08:14,227 Me? 196 00:08:14,260 --> 00:08:15,561 Im gonna be a director. 197 00:08:15,595 --> 00:08:16,762 Of course, not like that guy. 198 00:08:16,796 --> 00:08:18,297 Its a patriotic duty... 199 00:08:18,331 --> 00:08:20,299 I just got this feeling that were sitting here 200 00:08:20,333 --> 00:08:22,668 at the beginning of something really big. 201 00:08:22,702 --> 00:08:23,903 Television. 202 00:08:23,936 --> 00:08:24,904 Yep. 203 00:08:24,937 --> 00:08:26,172 Its gonna change the world. 204 00:08:26,205 --> 00:08:28,808 Its gonna help the world watch itself change. 205 00:08:28,841 --> 00:08:30,243 Say, thats great! 206 00:08:30,276 --> 00:08:31,711 I got to write that down. 207 00:08:31,744 --> 00:08:33,713 Listen, I keep a list of topics 208 00:08:33,746 --> 00:08:36,015 for a show im gonna have someday about america. 209 00:08:36,048 --> 00:08:38,918 Its a list ive been keeping since I was 14 years old. 210 00:08:38,951 --> 00:08:41,087 Uh, when I was at the New York worlds fair, 211 00:08:41,120 --> 00:08:42,188 back in 39. 212 00:08:42,221 --> 00:08:43,823 Oh, say, look at this. 213 00:08:45,892 --> 00:08:48,628 "This is to certify that Max blandish 214 00:08:48,661 --> 00:08:51,831 has been televised at the rca exhibit building." 215 00:08:51,864 --> 00:08:53,299 It was incredible. 216 00:08:53,332 --> 00:08:55,301 I was standing outside the pavilion 217 00:08:55,334 --> 00:08:57,169 in front of this camera. 218 00:08:57,203 --> 00:09:00,273 And my dad and mom were inside actually watching me 219 00:09:00,306 --> 00:09:03,676 wave my arms on this little electric screen. 220 00:09:03,709 --> 00:09:06,712 Boy, that was when I realized 221 00:09:06,746 --> 00:09:10,016 television is gonna bring people closer together. 222 00:09:10,049 --> 00:09:11,784 Well, not everybody. 223 00:09:11,817 --> 00:09:13,786 All right, now I want folks to feel 224 00:09:13,819 --> 00:09:15,354 that if Betsy Ross were alive today, 225 00:09:15,388 --> 00:09:17,757 she would buy a frost-o-later from refrigerator land, okay? 226 00:09:17,790 --> 00:09:21,160 So lets make sure we get a good shot of Betsy with the penguins. 227 00:09:21,193 --> 00:09:22,862 Betsy with the penguins. 228 00:09:22,895 --> 00:09:24,297 -You-you got it. -I got it. 229 00:09:24,330 --> 00:09:25,932 (Chuckles) 230 00:09:25,965 --> 00:09:28,367 Mmm. 231 00:09:28,401 --> 00:09:30,369 (Grunts) 232 00:09:30,403 --> 00:09:33,272 (Kids murmuring, laughing) 233 00:09:33,306 --> 00:09:35,708 Great! Just great. 234 00:09:35,741 --> 00:09:36,709 Now what? 235 00:09:36,742 --> 00:09:37,543 Monica: Its all right. 236 00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:40,246 We have another director right here. 237 00:09:40,279 --> 00:09:44,116 I think this is what they call your big break. 238 00:09:44,150 --> 00:09:45,384 (March music playing) 239 00:09:45,418 --> 00:09:48,254 Announcer: Refrigerator land presents 240 00:09:45,418 --> 00:09:48,254 the kiddie corner. 241 00:09:45,418 --> 00:09:48,254 Announcer: Refrigerator land presents 242 00:09:45,418 --> 00:09:48,254 the kiddie corner. 243 00:09:48,287 --> 00:09:50,723 Todays show: Betsy Ross. 244 00:09:50,756 --> 00:09:51,824 Hello, children. 245 00:09:51,857 --> 00:09:55,127 Today im going to tell you a story about Betsy Ross 246 00:09:55,161 --> 00:09:58,264 and the first American flag. 247 00:09:59,732 --> 00:10:01,133 Looking good. 248 00:10:01,167 --> 00:10:02,401 Looking really good. 249 00:10:02,435 --> 00:10:03,436 Cigarette? 250 00:10:03,469 --> 00:10:05,371 Ah, no thanks. I dont smoke. 251 00:10:05,404 --> 00:10:07,673 Okay, Elmer. 252 00:10:07,707 --> 00:10:09,308 Stay wide on those kids. 253 00:10:09,342 --> 00:10:11,110 Beautiful. 254 00:10:12,945 --> 00:10:17,116 Now, then, who would like to help me with my story? 255 00:10:17,149 --> 00:10:19,418 Kids: Me, me, me, me, me, me! 256 00:10:19,452 --> 00:10:22,922 Mm, how about... you. 257 00:10:27,360 --> 00:10:28,894 Whoa, wait a minute, wait a minute. 258 00:10:28,928 --> 00:10:31,263 Whoa, whoa, whats that kid doing there? 259 00:10:31,297 --> 00:10:32,331 Cut to a commercial. Now! 260 00:10:32,365 --> 00:10:33,332 Were about to lose our audience. 261 00:10:33,366 --> 00:10:34,900 What are you talking about? 262 00:10:34,934 --> 00:10:36,135 Theyre eating this stuff up. 263 00:10:36,168 --> 00:10:37,303 Elmer, hold your position. 264 00:10:37,336 --> 00:10:40,139 Camera two, push in on that kids face. 265 00:10:40,172 --> 00:10:42,141 Monica: Now, can you tell me 266 00:10:42,174 --> 00:10:45,711 what the 13 stripes represent? 267 00:10:45,745 --> 00:10:46,779 The colonies? 268 00:10:46,812 --> 00:10:48,347 -Very good. -(Applause) 269 00:10:48,381 --> 00:10:50,016 Betsy Ross would often tell... 270 00:10:50,049 --> 00:10:51,017 What are you doing? 271 00:10:51,050 --> 00:10:52,351 We just beat them! 272 00:10:52,385 --> 00:10:54,353 Nobody wants to see a happy Japanese kid on TV 273 00:10:54,387 --> 00:10:57,123 in front of the American flag. 274 00:10:57,156 --> 00:11:00,393 Camera two, stay tight on that kids beautiful face. 275 00:11:00,426 --> 00:11:02,828 (Chuckles) 276 00:11:12,338 --> 00:11:16,075 Mister, one day youre gonna realize youre just plain wrong. 277 00:11:16,108 --> 00:11:17,143 Yeah? 278 00:11:17,176 --> 00:11:18,344 Well, one day youll realize 279 00:11:18,377 --> 00:11:19,879 that the sponsor is always right. 280 00:11:19,912 --> 00:11:22,415 And until then, youre fired. 281 00:11:29,288 --> 00:11:31,223 Im proud of you, buddy. 282 00:11:31,257 --> 00:11:33,526 You did the right thing. 283 00:11:33,559 --> 00:11:35,828 Yeah, look where it got me. 284 00:11:35,861 --> 00:11:38,998 Max, dont give up on that list. 285 00:11:48,541 --> 00:11:51,343 Unfortunately, Max didnt listen to me. 286 00:11:51,377 --> 00:11:53,813 I cant believe that was the same Max. 287 00:11:53,846 --> 00:11:56,082 Well, a lot can happen in 50 years. 288 00:11:56,115 --> 00:11:57,149 Elmer: Gloria, hurry up! 289 00:11:57,183 --> 00:11:58,818 -Get the respirator! -(Max coughing) 290 00:11:58,851 --> 00:12:00,052 Oh! 291 00:12:00,086 --> 00:12:02,455 Theres no time to call 911! 292 00:12:02,488 --> 00:12:04,190 (Max wheezing) 293 00:12:09,962 --> 00:12:13,065 Oh, dont let him die, dear lord, dont let him die. 294 00:12:22,241 --> 00:12:24,810 Hold on, buddy. Hold on. 295 00:12:24,844 --> 00:12:27,113 Max, can you hear US? 296 00:12:27,146 --> 00:12:29,515 Elmer: Hes coming out of it. 297 00:12:32,885 --> 00:12:34,587 (Coughing) 298 00:12:34,620 --> 00:12:36,388 Let go of my hand! 299 00:12:36,422 --> 00:12:37,890 (Wheezing) 300 00:12:44,597 --> 00:12:46,432 (Grunting) 301 00:12:46,465 --> 00:12:49,068 (Panting) 302 00:12:49,101 --> 00:12:50,402 (Coughing) 303 00:12:50,436 --> 00:12:53,105 Max, let me take you to the hospital. 304 00:12:53,139 --> 00:12:54,240 No. 305 00:12:54,273 --> 00:12:56,208 Get out of here. Im-im fine. 306 00:12:57,910 --> 00:13:00,045 What are you all gawking at?! 307 00:13:00,079 --> 00:13:01,247 Huh?! 308 00:13:01,280 --> 00:13:04,416 Come on, lets get this show on the road! 309 00:13:04,450 --> 00:13:06,952 (Coughing) 310 00:13:06,986 --> 00:13:10,089 Get back to your camera! 311 00:13:15,461 --> 00:13:18,063 Come on, Elvis-- whatever your name is. 312 00:13:18,097 --> 00:13:20,499 Come on, shake a leg! 313 00:13:22,168 --> 00:13:24,336 (Wheezing softly) 314 00:13:28,974 --> 00:13:33,012 Elvis is among US, and I have the proof right here. 315 00:13:33,045 --> 00:13:36,182 Now, it happened on i-40 near little rock. 316 00:13:36,215 --> 00:13:39,251 There was a banana truck that skidded off the road 317 00:13:39,285 --> 00:13:40,986 right near a peanut butter factory, 318 00:13:41,020 --> 00:13:42,321 and it left an oil slick. 319 00:13:42,354 --> 00:13:44,924 And thats where the face of Elvis appeared. 320 00:13:44,957 --> 00:13:46,025 Now, ladies and gentlemen, 321 00:13:46,058 --> 00:13:48,093 the king loved peanut butter and nanner sandwiches. 322 00:13:48,127 --> 00:13:50,229 I mean, its a sign that hes still alive, 323 00:13:50,262 --> 00:13:52,364 and hes hungry. 324 00:13:52,398 --> 00:13:54,466 How can you put this on TV? 325 00:13:54,500 --> 00:13:56,202 Shh! 326 00:13:56,235 --> 00:13:58,204 Now, this unretouched photograph could be yours 327 00:13:58,237 --> 00:13:59,405 for just ten dollars. 328 00:13:59,438 --> 00:14:01,373 Thats right, friends, just ten dollars. 329 00:14:01,407 --> 00:14:03,342 Just call this number right here. 330 00:14:03,375 --> 00:14:05,511 Operators are standing by. 331 00:14:07,513 --> 00:14:09,582 I hear those phones a-ringin now. 332 00:14:09,615 --> 00:14:13,219 Ah, they only ring for the blue angel. 333 00:14:13,252 --> 00:14:14,587 (Lighter clicks) 334 00:14:14,620 --> 00:14:17,489 You almost died tonight, and youre still smoking? 335 00:14:17,523 --> 00:14:19,258 Please. 336 00:14:19,291 --> 00:14:20,926 Youre worse than Elmer. 337 00:14:20,960 --> 00:14:22,962 Elmer cares about you. 338 00:14:22,995 --> 00:14:25,364 You know, he said you used to be a real mensch. 339 00:14:25,397 --> 00:14:27,466 Elmers a blabbermouth. 340 00:14:27,499 --> 00:14:30,469 I suppose he also rattled on about my list, too, huh? 341 00:14:30,502 --> 00:14:32,638 What happened to that list, Max? 342 00:14:32,671 --> 00:14:35,641 Life. 343 00:14:35,674 --> 00:14:37,443 Instead of me changing television, 344 00:14:37,476 --> 00:14:39,245 television changed me. 345 00:14:39,278 --> 00:14:41,046 (Woman sneezes) 346 00:14:43,148 --> 00:14:44,116 (Sneezes) 347 00:14:44,149 --> 00:14:46,151 Max... 348 00:14:46,185 --> 00:14:49,355 I have the worst cold. 349 00:14:49,388 --> 00:14:52,524 Oh, you poor darling! 350 00:14:52,558 --> 00:14:55,194 Oh! 351 00:14:55,227 --> 00:14:56,662 Oh, now dont you worry. 352 00:14:56,695 --> 00:14:59,131 Youre a trooper, sweetheart, yes. 353 00:14:59,164 --> 00:15:02,101 Gloria, this is Tiffany, the blue angel. 354 00:15:02,134 --> 00:15:03,102 (Chuckles) 355 00:15:03,135 --> 00:15:04,637 Hello. 356 00:15:04,670 --> 00:15:07,072 Thats what I get for dancing night after night 357 00:15:07,106 --> 00:15:09,141 in this drafty old studio. 358 00:15:09,174 --> 00:15:10,142 Yes, yes. 359 00:15:10,175 --> 00:15:11,410 Well, now were gonna go get 360 00:15:11,443 --> 00:15:13,712 some tea with honey, honey, huh? 361 00:15:13,746 --> 00:15:14,713 (Chuckles) 362 00:15:14,747 --> 00:15:16,282 (Sneezes) 363 00:15:16,315 --> 00:15:18,083 God bless you! 364 00:15:20,586 --> 00:15:22,688 Tess: Blue angel. (Scoffs) 365 00:15:22,721 --> 00:15:25,758 I dont even want to think how she got that cold. 366 00:15:25,791 --> 00:15:29,461 Tess, why do people say "god bless you" when they sneeze? 367 00:15:29,495 --> 00:15:31,563 Oh, its from an old superstition when people used to 368 00:15:31,597 --> 00:15:34,700 believe that you could lose your soul when you sneezed. 369 00:15:34,733 --> 00:15:39,405 But the truth is, you can lose your soul a whole lot of ways. 370 00:15:39,438 --> 00:15:42,708 And Max came awfully close 371 00:15:39,438 --> 00:15:42,708 ba 372 00:15:39,438 --> 00:15:42,708 ck in 1954. 373 00:15:39,438 --> 00:15:42,708 And Max came awfully close 374 00:15:39,438 --> 00:15:42,708 ba 375 00:15:39,438 --> 00:15:42,708 ck in 1954. 376 00:15:42,741 --> 00:15:44,009 My god. 377 00:15:44,043 --> 00:15:46,111 Man: Five, six, seven, eight, kick! 378 00:15:46,145 --> 00:15:48,013 -(Piano playing lively tune) -Up! 379 00:15:48,047 --> 00:15:51,150 One, two, three, four, five, and turn. 380 00:15:51,183 --> 00:15:52,451 Very nice, ladies. 381 00:15:52,484 --> 00:15:54,520 Very nice. 382 00:15:54,553 --> 00:15:56,555 Okay, lets take it back to the beginning. 383 00:15:56,588 --> 00:15:58,023 How you doing, Mr. Demille? 384 00:15:58,057 --> 00:15:59,525 Ah, demille may have parted the red sea, 385 00:15:59,558 --> 00:16:01,226 but he didnt have to do it live, 386 00:16:01,260 --> 00:16:03,195 and he didnt have to deal with a sponsor 387 00:16:03,228 --> 00:16:04,163 like mount rushmore cigarettes. 388 00:16:04,196 --> 00:16:06,165 Ah, come on. Youve been waiting for years 389 00:16:06,198 --> 00:16:07,333 for a chance like this. 390 00:16:07,366 --> 00:16:08,534 Ah, its still just a local show. 391 00:16:08,567 --> 00:16:10,069 With a national feed. 392 00:16:10,102 --> 00:16:11,370 Those network boys in New York, 393 00:16:11,403 --> 00:16:12,738 theyre gonna be knocking on your door tomorrow. 394 00:16:12,771 --> 00:16:14,239 You think so? Cause this list is 395 00:16:14,273 --> 00:16:15,808 burning a hole in my pocket, boy. 396 00:16:15,841 --> 00:16:17,543 Hey, itll happen, Max. 397 00:16:17,576 --> 00:16:19,111 Youll get your chance. 398 00:16:19,144 --> 00:16:20,446 Yeah, when? When they put a man on the moon? 399 00:16:20,479 --> 00:16:21,647 Sooner. 400 00:16:21,680 --> 00:16:23,082 Hey, a man on the moon. 401 00:16:23,115 --> 00:16:24,516 Imagine that on TV. 402 00:16:24,550 --> 00:16:27,619 All right, people, heads up! 403 00:16:30,856 --> 00:16:32,424 Hey, hey, Eddie! 404 00:16:32,458 --> 00:16:34,093 Whats this? 405 00:16:34,126 --> 00:16:35,427 Its for the opening number. 406 00:16:35,461 --> 00:16:36,695 The sponsor put it in. 407 00:16:36,729 --> 00:16:38,464 No, no, no. I ordered mountains. 408 00:16:38,497 --> 00:16:40,466 Max, dont do this to your blood pressure, son. 409 00:16:40,499 --> 00:16:41,667 Calm down. Have a cigarette. 410 00:16:41,700 --> 00:16:43,802 A mount rushmore cigarette with the cool mentholated tip. 411 00:16:43,836 --> 00:16:45,304 I-I dont smoke. 412 00:16:45,337 --> 00:16:46,538 And listen, ive been having trouble 413 00:16:46,572 --> 00:16:47,806 with that singer you hired. 414 00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:49,241 How is she coming along, son? 415 00:16:49,274 --> 00:16:50,709 Well, I hired the best coach in the business, 416 00:16:50,743 --> 00:16:52,411 but you cant make a silk purse out of a sows... 417 00:16:52,444 --> 00:16:53,779 We are not cutting that number. 418 00:16:53,812 --> 00:16:56,315 "God bless america" is my mothers favorite song. 419 00:16:56,348 --> 00:16:57,516 But she sounds like a horse. 420 00:16:57,549 --> 00:16:58,617 Son, you are the director. 421 00:16:58,650 --> 00:17:00,819 You find a way to work it out. Thats what you do. 422 00:17:03,322 --> 00:17:05,257 Tess: Are you gonna work with 423 00:17:05,290 --> 00:17:06,825 your face or your voice? 424 00:17:06,859 --> 00:17:08,160 (Chuckles) 425 00:17:10,362 --> 00:17:14,166 Okay, lets try it again, and try to feel it. 426 00:17:14,199 --> 00:17:16,368 (Piano plays arpeggio) 427 00:17:16,402 --> 00:17:19,538 (Off-key): ♪ from the mountains 428 00:17:19,571 --> 00:17:23,542 ♪ to the prairies, to the oceans... ♪ 429 00:17:23,575 --> 00:17:24,476 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 430 00:17:24,510 --> 00:17:25,744 Hold it, hold it. 431 00:17:25,778 --> 00:17:28,714 Now, you cannot build a phrase with a mouthful of chewing gum. 432 00:17:31,683 --> 00:17:33,819 What do you mean, "build a phrase"? 433 00:17:33,852 --> 00:17:36,555 Ill show you. Listen. 434 00:17:36,588 --> 00:17:41,260 ♪ From the mountains 435 00:17:41,293 --> 00:17:46,165 ♪ to the prairies 436 00:17:46,198 --> 00:17:49,268 ♪ to the oceans 437 00:17:49,301 --> 00:17:53,172 ♪ white with foam... 438 00:17:53,205 --> 00:17:55,407 Then you build it. 439 00:17:55,441 --> 00:18:03,148 ♪ God bless america 440 00:18:03,182 --> 00:18:08,454 ♪ my home 441 00:18:08,487 --> 00:18:14,827 ♪ sweet home. 442 00:18:14,860 --> 00:18:16,361 See? 443 00:18:16,395 --> 00:18:17,496 (Applause) 444 00:18:21,266 --> 00:18:22,501 Oh, thank you. 445 00:18:25,737 --> 00:18:28,907 (Tess singing scales) 446 00:18:28,941 --> 00:18:31,543 Announcer: Mount rushmore cigarettes presents 447 00:18:31,577 --> 00:18:32,811 happy birthday america, 1954. 448 00:18:32,845 --> 00:18:35,614 Max, Mark my words, this is your lucky day. 449 00:18:35,647 --> 00:18:37,950 The way Tess sings, youre gonna be in like Flynn. 450 00:18:37,983 --> 00:18:40,252 Max: Who should I work for next, 451 00:18:40,285 --> 00:18:41,720 sid Caesar or Milton berles show? 452 00:18:41,753 --> 00:18:42,888 (Laughs) 453 00:18:42,921 --> 00:18:44,356 What is going on here? 454 00:18:44,389 --> 00:18:45,557 Where is my singer? 455 00:18:45,591 --> 00:18:47,659 Your singer cant sing. Tess can. 456 00:18:47,693 --> 00:18:49,228 Trust me, your mothers gonna flip. 457 00:18:49,261 --> 00:18:51,230 Oh, I guarantee shell flip, son. 458 00:18:51,263 --> 00:18:53,365 My mother is from Georgia, and believe me when I tell you 459 00:18:53,398 --> 00:18:55,667 that no one from down south wants to hear that woman sing 460 00:18:55,701 --> 00:18:57,903 -"god bless america." -Why not? 461 00:18:57,936 --> 00:19:00,506 You know damn well why not, so dont you make me say it, son. 462 00:19:00,539 --> 00:19:01,974 I been in this business a lot of years, 463 00:19:02,007 --> 00:19:03,909 and if you want to get ahead, you better wise up. 464 00:19:03,942 --> 00:19:06,512 I write the checks around here. 465 00:19:06,545 --> 00:19:08,947 No dough, no show-- thats the bottom line. 466 00:19:08,981 --> 00:19:10,682 So whats it gonna be? 467 00:19:10,716 --> 00:19:13,952 You want to direct or stand on that soapbox? 468 00:19:32,437 --> 00:19:34,773 Lets drop that light down a little bit! 469 00:19:34,806 --> 00:19:36,742 Are those dancers out of makeup yet?! 470 00:19:36,775 --> 00:19:38,610 Lets go, people, lets go! 471 00:19:40,779 --> 00:19:42,781 I hope you understand. 472 00:19:42,814 --> 00:19:43,982 Im a good guy. 473 00:19:44,016 --> 00:19:45,884 Honest, I am. 474 00:19:45,918 --> 00:19:47,986 Right now, theres nothing I can do. 475 00:19:52,991 --> 00:19:55,294 Im sorry. 476 00:19:55,327 --> 00:19:56,695 Dont you understand, Max? 477 00:19:56,728 --> 00:19:59,765 This is not just about a variety show. 478 00:19:59,798 --> 00:20:01,967 This is a decision that could affect you 479 00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:03,669 for the rest of your life. 480 00:20:03,702 --> 00:20:07,606 Its about the kind of human being you choose to be. 481 00:20:10,342 --> 00:20:11,843 (Bell ringing) 482 00:20:11,877 --> 00:20:13,312 Places, everybody. 483 00:20:13,345 --> 00:20:14,880 Hey, Eddie, clear the stage. 484 00:20:16,315 --> 00:20:17,883 That means you, Tess. 485 00:20:20,352 --> 00:20:21,853 Max, how can you do this?! 486 00:20:21,887 --> 00:20:23,855 -Its not my decision. -Yes, it is. 487 00:20:23,889 --> 00:20:24,856 Youre the director. 488 00:20:24,890 --> 00:20:25,924 What you say goes! 489 00:20:25,958 --> 00:20:27,526 You want me to lose my shot? 490 00:20:27,559 --> 00:20:28,760 What is happening to you?! 491 00:20:28,794 --> 00:20:30,729 Look, Elmer, 492 00:20:30,762 --> 00:20:33,632 im gonna do the right thing one day, honest. 493 00:20:33,665 --> 00:20:35,734 When? 494 00:20:35,767 --> 00:20:38,503 When they put a man on the moon? 495 00:20:38,537 --> 00:20:39,771 Yeah. 496 00:20:41,807 --> 00:20:43,909 Until that day... 497 00:20:43,942 --> 00:20:45,477 Back off! 498 00:20:45,510 --> 00:20:47,012 ("Washington post march" plays) 499 00:20:47,045 --> 00:20:49,081 Announcer: Mount rushmore cigarettes presents 500 00:20:49,114 --> 00:20:52,517 happy birthday america! 501 00:21:12,738 --> 00:21:14,706 Cue applause. 502 00:21:14,740 --> 00:21:16,808 (Applause) 503 00:21:23,815 --> 00:21:25,751 Gloria: 504 00:21:23,815 --> 00:21:25,751 So did he become 505 00:21:23,815 --> 00:21:25,751 a 506 00:21:23,815 --> 00:21:25,751 big-time director? 507 00:21:23,815 --> 00:21:25,751 Gloria: 508 00:21:23,815 --> 00:21:25,751 So did he become 509 00:21:23,815 --> 00:21:25,751 a 510 00:21:23,815 --> 00:21:25,751 big-time director? 511 00:21:25,784 --> 00:21:29,521 No. Maxs heart wasnt in his work anymore. 512 00:21:29,554 --> 00:21:31,456 He sold out that night 513 00:21:31,490 --> 00:21:33,992 and became what they call a hack. 514 00:21:34,026 --> 00:21:35,761 Max: What am I gonna do? 515 00:21:35,794 --> 00:21:38,096 Huh? What am I gonna do? 516 00:21:38,130 --> 00:21:40,899 Oh, Max, you really have to stop. 517 00:21:40,932 --> 00:21:42,367 (Sighs): Ah. 518 00:21:42,401 --> 00:21:44,636 Mm. 519 00:21:44,670 --> 00:21:46,538 Tiffanys sick. 520 00:21:46,571 --> 00:21:49,107 The blue angel starts in a half an hour, 521 00:21:49,141 --> 00:21:51,043 and ive just lost my blue angel. 522 00:21:51,076 --> 00:21:53,545 They why dont you just cancel? 523 00:21:53,578 --> 00:21:54,946 Cancel?! 524 00:21:54,980 --> 00:21:56,982 Dont you get it? 525 00:21:57,015 --> 00:21:58,917 I got bills to pay. 526 00:21:58,950 --> 00:22:00,886 I cant afford to lose one viewer, 527 00:22:00,919 --> 00:22:02,554 not even for a single night. 528 00:22:02,587 --> 00:22:03,855 (Coughs) 529 00:22:03,889 --> 00:22:06,391 (Wheezing) 530 00:22:06,425 --> 00:22:09,394 Oh, youre just making it worse! 531 00:22:09,428 --> 00:22:11,430 I need an angel. 532 00:22:11,463 --> 00:22:12,431 (Coughs) 533 00:22:12,464 --> 00:22:13,565 Well, im an angel! 534 00:22:13,598 --> 00:22:16,401 Or I-I could be an angel. 535 00:22:16,435 --> 00:22:18,904 What would I have to do? 536 00:22:18,937 --> 00:22:20,639 Oh, well, uh, 537 00:22:20,672 --> 00:22:24,843 just relax and follow my directions. 538 00:22:24,876 --> 00:22:25,944 Oh, okay. 539 00:22:25,977 --> 00:22:27,446 Well, that shouldnt be a problem. 540 00:22:27,479 --> 00:22:30,148 (Chuckles) 541 00:22:30,182 --> 00:22:31,983 Good. 542 00:22:40,625 --> 00:22:41,893 Ive never been on TV before. 543 00:22:41,927 --> 00:22:44,663 Oh, then this is gonna be some debut. 544 00:22:44,696 --> 00:22:46,164 Ill go check your costume. 545 00:22:46,198 --> 00:22:48,500 Farmer: I know its pretty late, and a lot of you got friends 546 00:22:48,533 --> 00:22:50,202 in the fields at the crack of dawn, so... 547 00:22:50,235 --> 00:22:53,872 Well, if it isnt the blue angel. 548 00:22:53,905 --> 00:22:55,874 I have a costume and everything. 549 00:22:55,907 --> 00:22:58,543 Do you have any idea 550 00:22:58,577 --> 00:23:01,880 what youll be doing with that costume? 551 00:23:01,913 --> 00:23:03,882 Well... 552 00:23:03,915 --> 00:23:05,951 Ill be wearing it, (Chuckles) Wont I? 553 00:23:05,984 --> 00:23:09,588 Yes, until the music plays. 554 00:23:09,621 --> 00:23:13,091 And then youll start taking it off. 555 00:23:16,228 --> 00:23:17,763 (Gasps) 556 00:23:17,796 --> 00:23:19,531 I cant, I cant do that! 557 00:23:19,564 --> 00:23:20,932 You got that right. 558 00:23:20,966 --> 00:23:23,835 But I was just trying to help Max. 559 00:23:23,869 --> 00:23:25,937 Well, you better think of another way, and quick, 560 00:23:25,971 --> 00:23:29,141 because you go on right after those chickens. 561 00:23:29,174 --> 00:23:30,675 (Sighs) 562 00:23:30,709 --> 00:23:31,710 Good night. 563 00:23:31,743 --> 00:23:33,879 I want to talk about a subject 564 00:23:33,912 --> 00:23:35,247 thats very controversial-- 565 00:23:35,280 --> 00:23:37,749 a lot of farmers have asked me about. 566 00:23:37,783 --> 00:23:39,818 (Chuckles) 567 00:23:39,851 --> 00:23:42,220 How to pick up chicks. 568 00:23:42,254 --> 00:23:43,955 (Chicks chirping) 569 00:23:43,989 --> 00:23:47,492 You got to pick up chicks very careful. 570 00:23:47,526 --> 00:23:50,095 Okay, Tess... (Chuckles) I admit it. 571 00:23:50,128 --> 00:23:52,097 Im in over my head. What do I do? 572 00:23:52,130 --> 00:23:54,933 Oh, please tell me what to do. 573 00:23:54,966 --> 00:23:56,234 Gloria? 574 00:23:56,268 --> 00:23:58,637 Elmer. (Chuckles) 575 00:23:58,670 --> 00:23:59,638 Its okay. 576 00:23:59,671 --> 00:24:01,139 I talk to myself all the time. 577 00:24:01,173 --> 00:24:02,541 (Chuckles) 578 00:24:02,574 --> 00:24:04,209 I got smiley to cover for me. 579 00:24:04,242 --> 00:24:05,710 Im allergic to farm animals. 580 00:24:05,744 --> 00:24:06,778 (Chuckles) 581 00:24:06,812 --> 00:24:09,815 I tried to get him to cover for me after midnight, 582 00:24:09,848 --> 00:24:11,516 but he wouldnt do it. 583 00:24:11,550 --> 00:24:13,218 You mean the blue angel show? 584 00:24:13,251 --> 00:24:14,052 (Groans) 585 00:24:14,085 --> 00:24:16,188 Makes me mad just thinking about it. 586 00:24:16,221 --> 00:24:18,256 Uh-huh. Me, too. 587 00:24:18,290 --> 00:24:20,525 Frankly, im not too happy with Max right now. 588 00:24:20,559 --> 00:24:24,596 Yeah, well, for me, theres only one way to deal with him, 589 00:24:24,629 --> 00:24:27,232 and thats to remember the guy 590 00:24:27,265 --> 00:24:29,901 I met 50 years ago during the war. 591 00:24:29,935 --> 00:24:32,304 The guy that saved my life. 592 00:24:32,337 --> 00:24:34,139 Max? 593 00:24:36,041 --> 00:24:37,742 Youre trying to tell me he was a hero? 594 00:24:37,776 --> 00:24:41,947 Well, I wouldnt be here today if it wasnt for him. 595 00:24:41,980 --> 00:24:46,117 I caught a bullet wading into Omaha beach, and I went under, 596 00:24:46,151 --> 00:24:48,820 and he got me out and carried me ashore. 597 00:24:48,854 --> 00:24:52,123 A week later in the hospital, I opened my eyes, 598 00:24:52,157 --> 00:24:54,226 and there he was, sitting by my bed, 599 00:24:54,259 --> 00:24:56,161 making his list. 600 00:24:56,194 --> 00:24:57,295 List? 601 00:24:57,329 --> 00:25:02,300 He had this crazy idea that one day wed make a TV show 602 00:25:02,334 --> 00:25:04,903 called 603 00:25:02,334 --> 00:25:04,903 we the people. 604 00:25:04,936 --> 00:25:06,738 (Chuckles) 605 00:25:06,771 --> 00:25:10,108 Oh, Max was a dreamer. 606 00:25:10,141 --> 00:25:12,177 And you bought into his dream. 607 00:25:12,210 --> 00:25:14,813 For years, he said hed do the right thing one day. 608 00:25:14,846 --> 00:25:15,747 (Chuckles) 609 00:25:15,780 --> 00:25:19,985 Yeah, like when they put a man on the moon. 610 00:25:20,018 --> 00:25:22,187 -Listen, dont tell Max. -(Bell ringing) 611 00:25:22,220 --> 00:25:24,856 Im gonna toss these. 612 00:25:27,826 --> 00:25:29,794 Elmers a good friend. 613 00:25:29,828 --> 00:25:33,098 Hes been through a lot with Max. 614 00:25:33,131 --> 00:25:34,633 We all have. 615 00:25:34,666 --> 00:25:36,668 Actually, I was with Max 616 00:25:36,701 --> 00:25:38,637 the day they did put a man on the moon, 617 00:25:38,670 --> 00:25:41,206 more than 30 years ago. 618 00:25:41,239 --> 00:25:42,607 Walter cronkite: What you are seeing now 619 00:25:42,641 --> 00:25:44,109 on your screen is a simulation 620 00:25:44,142 --> 00:25:46,211 of the procedure the astronauts will be following 621 00:25:46,244 --> 00:25:48,213 when they exit the lunar module. 622 00:25:48,246 --> 00:25:50,749 Turn that thing off. 623 00:25:50,782 --> 00:25:52,884 Neil Armstrong is about to walk on the moon. 624 00:25:52,918 --> 00:25:54,319 And youre about to get fired. 625 00:25:54,352 --> 00:25:56,821 Now get back in that studio; We got a show to do. 626 00:25:56,855 --> 00:25:58,857 Max... 627 00:25:58,890 --> 00:26:00,692 Todays the day. 628 00:26:00,725 --> 00:26:01,960 You always said youd do the right thing 629 00:26:01,993 --> 00:26:03,728 -when they put a man... -Ah! 630 00:26:03,762 --> 00:26:05,964 -Hey! -Im getting enough grief from that Andrew guy. 631 00:26:05,997 --> 00:26:07,999 I dont need it from you! 632 00:26:15,707 --> 00:26:17,275 Where is he? 633 00:26:22,280 --> 00:26:25,083 Come on out of that crater! 634 00:26:25,116 --> 00:26:27,786 Come on, come on. 635 00:26:27,819 --> 00:26:31,356 Come on. Up. 636 00:26:35,260 --> 00:26:37,662 Now listen, you, no more arguments. 637 00:26:37,696 --> 00:26:39,297 Time is short. 638 00:26:39,331 --> 00:26:40,298 Heres your ray gun. 639 00:26:40,332 --> 00:26:43,268 All you got to do is introduce the feature, 640 00:26:43,301 --> 00:26:45,704 "space vixens from Venus." 641 00:26:45,737 --> 00:26:48,807 And when the saucer flies by... 642 00:26:48,840 --> 00:26:51,142 You vaporize it with your death ray. 643 00:26:51,176 --> 00:26:53,745 No, Max, no. Im sorry. 644 00:26:53,778 --> 00:26:57,182 I do not believe in killing any living creature, 645 00:26:57,215 --> 00:26:59,451 not even from Venus. 646 00:26:59,484 --> 00:27:01,052 You know what this is? 647 00:27:01,086 --> 00:27:03,321 Worlds smallest violin. 648 00:27:03,355 --> 00:27:05,290 Do you know what this is? 649 00:27:05,323 --> 00:27:07,759 This is the amount of time you have left 650 00:27:07,792 --> 00:27:09,327 before something drastic happens. 651 00:27:09,361 --> 00:27:11,396 What are you talking about? 652 00:27:11,429 --> 00:27:13,231 Your life, Max. 653 00:27:13,264 --> 00:27:15,800 Doing the right thing before its too late. 654 00:27:15,834 --> 00:27:17,168 Who is this guy? 655 00:27:17,202 --> 00:27:20,205 Max, look! Its happening! 656 00:27:20,238 --> 00:27:23,174 Cronkite: The, uh, pictures are a little dark 657 00:27:23,208 --> 00:27:25,443 because of the angle of the module camera. 658 00:27:25,477 --> 00:27:29,347 Oh, boy, this is really something. 659 00:27:29,381 --> 00:27:31,049 There it is. 660 00:27:31,082 --> 00:27:33,752 Neil Armstrong, the first man on the moon, 661 00:27:33,785 --> 00:27:37,422 on this, the 20th of July, 1969. 662 00:27:37,455 --> 00:27:40,759 Armstrong: Thats one small step for man... 663 00:27:42,761 --> 00:27:45,430 ...one giant leap for mankind. 664 00:27:48,900 --> 00:27:50,935 Andrew: Max? Max! 665 00:27:50,969 --> 00:27:52,470 Elmer? 666 00:27:52,504 --> 00:27:53,805 -Oh, my gosh! -Oh, my god! 667 00:27:53,838 --> 00:27:54,806 What-what happened?! 668 00:27:54,839 --> 00:27:55,807 Call an ambulance. 669 00:27:55,840 --> 00:27:57,175 Hes had a heart attack. 670 00:27:57,208 --> 00:27:58,143 Right. 671 00:28:01,980 --> 00:28:03,181 Hello, operator? 672 00:28:03,214 --> 00:28:05,216 Yeah, I need to get St. marks hospital. 673 00:28:05,250 --> 00:28:07,152 Its an emergency. 674 00:28:07,185 --> 00:28:09,954 Elmer stayed by maxs side for ten days, 675 00:28:09,988 --> 00:28:11,022 and then Max pulled through. 676 00:28:11,056 --> 00:28:12,857 How can he still be smoking? 677 00:28:12,891 --> 00:28:15,894 Well, he quit for a while, and then he started again. 678 00:28:15,927 --> 00:28:17,495 He just doesnt care anymore. 679 00:28:17,529 --> 00:28:20,732 Max: Gloria, will you come out here, please? 680 00:28:22,133 --> 00:28:24,102 (Sighs) 681 00:28:28,073 --> 00:28:29,874 Gloria? 682 00:28:29,908 --> 00:28:32,477 Want to come out here, dear? 683 00:28:32,510 --> 00:28:34,979 Heres your costume. 684 00:28:35,013 --> 00:28:38,016 Theres your coat and heres your boots. 685 00:28:40,085 --> 00:28:41,786 Is this all im wearing? 686 00:28:41,820 --> 00:28:43,521 Oh, of course not. 687 00:28:43,555 --> 00:28:44,522 (Chuckles) 688 00:28:44,556 --> 00:28:45,857 There you go. 689 00:28:45,890 --> 00:28:48,159 There. 690 00:28:53,898 --> 00:28:55,967 Whats going on? 691 00:28:56,000 --> 00:28:58,336 Max? Gloria? 692 00:28:58,369 --> 00:29:00,138 Max wants me to be the blue angel. 693 00:29:00,171 --> 00:29:02,240 Oh, no, no, no, you cant. 694 00:29:02,273 --> 00:29:05,009 Well, I told him I would; And where I come from, 695 00:29:05,043 --> 00:29:06,311 thats as good as a promise. 696 00:29:06,344 --> 00:29:09,114 You tell her she doesnt have to. 697 00:29:09,147 --> 00:29:10,482 Elmer, calm down. 698 00:29:10,515 --> 00:29:12,150 Im not gonna let you do it! 699 00:29:12,183 --> 00:29:13,852 Not to a nice girl like this! 700 00:29:13,885 --> 00:29:16,921 Hey, look, whos running this studio, you or me? 701 00:29:16,955 --> 00:29:17,989 You are! 702 00:29:18,022 --> 00:29:18,990 All right, then. 703 00:29:19,023 --> 00:29:21,459 You go on back to your camera, or youre fired! 704 00:29:21,493 --> 00:29:23,595 Well, thats okay by me. 705 00:29:23,628 --> 00:29:24,329 What?! 706 00:29:24,362 --> 00:29:25,997 You heard me. 707 00:29:26,030 --> 00:29:28,900 You know, weve been buddies for 50 years 708 00:29:28,933 --> 00:29:31,503 through thick and thin, but this time ive had enough. 709 00:29:31,536 --> 00:29:33,304 I was wrong about you. 710 00:29:33,338 --> 00:29:35,573 Youll never do the right thing. 711 00:29:35,607 --> 00:29:39,043 Im sorry I ever believed in you. 712 00:29:45,483 --> 00:29:48,086 (Sighs) 713 00:29:48,119 --> 00:29:51,222 H-He... hell-hell be back. 714 00:29:51,256 --> 00:29:54,259 He always comes back. 715 00:30:09,908 --> 00:30:12,944 I dont think elmers coming back. 716 00:30:12,977 --> 00:30:16,114 So I suppose youre gonna walk out on me, too. 717 00:30:16,147 --> 00:30:18,183 No, Max, I wouldnt do that. 718 00:30:18,216 --> 00:30:20,618 So get dressed. 719 00:30:22,987 --> 00:30:24,322 Break a leg. 720 00:30:26,457 --> 00:30:29,194 I believe thats what they say in show business. 721 00:30:29,227 --> 00:30:34,098 And with these heels, that seems very possible. 722 00:30:34,132 --> 00:30:35,533 You want me to follow maxs direction 723 00:30:35,567 --> 00:30:37,001 and take my clothes off? 724 00:30:37,035 --> 00:30:38,336 Of course not, Gloria. 725 00:30:38,369 --> 00:30:40,605 Youre not the blue angel, youre gods angel. 726 00:30:40,638 --> 00:30:44,943 Just remember that, and youll never make a false move. 727 00:30:44,976 --> 00:30:46,477 Even in these. 728 00:30:55,687 --> 00:30:57,322 Smiley, elmers gone. 729 00:30:57,355 --> 00:30:58,323 You take over camera. 730 00:30:58,356 --> 00:30:59,991 No can do, Max. 731 00:31:00,024 --> 00:31:01,226 I got kids. 732 00:31:01,259 --> 00:31:04,929 I dont like this blue angel thing any more than Elmer does. 733 00:31:04,963 --> 00:31:06,598 You want to fire me, fire me! 734 00:31:06,631 --> 00:31:08,433 All right, youre through! 735 00:31:08,466 --> 00:31:11,402 Ill run the camera myself! 736 00:31:11,436 --> 00:31:12,670 Gloria? 737 00:31:12,704 --> 00:31:14,906 Its almost midnight. 738 00:31:21,246 --> 00:31:23,214 Oh, look at you. 739 00:31:23,248 --> 00:31:24,415 (Chuckles) 740 00:31:24,449 --> 00:31:26,217 Frankly, ID-ID rather not. 741 00:31:26,251 --> 00:31:31,222 Okay, now, uh, in 30 seconds, get ready to sparkle. 742 00:31:31,256 --> 00:31:32,423 Sparkle? 743 00:31:32,457 --> 00:31:33,958 Yeah, you know, uh... 744 00:31:35,760 --> 00:31:37,395 Let your love light shine! 745 00:31:37,428 --> 00:31:38,363 (Chuckles) 746 00:31:38,396 --> 00:31:39,464 Now you just stay 747 00:31:39,497 --> 00:31:44,235 within range of that camera and have a ball, okay?! 748 00:31:44,269 --> 00:31:47,071 (Laughs) 749 00:31:47,105 --> 00:31:48,606 (Sighs) 750 00:31:53,778 --> 00:31:55,947 (Bell ringing) 751 00:31:57,248 --> 00:32:00,518 Gloria, five, four, 752 00:32:00,551 --> 00:32:04,255 three, two, youre on. 753 00:32:04,289 --> 00:32:07,558 Announcer: Now its time for the blue angel. 754 00:32:07,592 --> 00:32:11,095 Pick up that phone and make your dreams come true. 755 00:32:11,129 --> 00:32:12,330 (Funky music playing) 756 00:32:18,603 --> 00:32:20,471 Psst! Psst! 757 00:32:21,706 --> 00:32:22,774 What are you doing? 758 00:32:22,807 --> 00:32:26,444 Praying for direction. 759 00:32:26,477 --> 00:32:28,279 I told you what to do. 760 00:32:28,313 --> 00:32:30,415 Sparkle! 761 00:32:30,448 --> 00:32:33,017 Give them a little bit of the old razzmatazz. 762 00:32:33,051 --> 00:32:34,252 Come on, honey. 763 00:32:40,058 --> 00:32:41,759 (Chuckles) 764 00:32:43,728 --> 00:32:46,164 Hello. 765 00:32:46,197 --> 00:32:47,365 Hi. 766 00:32:47,398 --> 00:32:48,766 Um... 767 00:32:52,303 --> 00:32:55,139 M-My name is... 768 00:32:56,808 --> 00:32:58,609 Gloria! 769 00:32:58,643 --> 00:33:01,479 Gl-Gloria. Gloria. 770 00:33:01,512 --> 00:33:02,547 (Chuckles) 771 00:33:02,580 --> 00:33:04,315 Its Gloria. 772 00:33:04,349 --> 00:33:05,717 (Sighs) 773 00:33:05,750 --> 00:33:08,319 Just waiting on some direction here. 774 00:33:08,353 --> 00:33:10,121 (Phones ringing) 775 00:33:10,154 --> 00:33:11,689 Psst. 776 00:33:11,723 --> 00:33:13,725 Phones, get the phones. Answer the... 777 00:33:13,758 --> 00:33:15,760 (Ringing continues) 778 00:33:21,132 --> 00:33:23,368 Hello. 779 00:33:23,401 --> 00:33:25,303 Oh, uh, I see. 780 00:33:25,336 --> 00:33:27,105 Okay, thank you. 781 00:33:27,772 --> 00:33:29,407 (Ringing continues) 782 00:33:29,440 --> 00:33:31,476 Hello. 783 00:33:31,509 --> 00:33:32,477 Really? 784 00:33:32,510 --> 00:33:33,811 (Chuckles) 785 00:33:33,845 --> 00:33:35,179 Well, thank you. 786 00:33:35,213 --> 00:33:36,781 Okay, bye-bye. 787 00:33:36,814 --> 00:33:39,384 Hello. 788 00:33:39,417 --> 00:33:41,619 Thank you for your input. 789 00:33:41,652 --> 00:33:43,688 Good-bye. 790 00:33:43,721 --> 00:33:47,091 I-I dont think theyre real happy with the new format. 791 00:33:47,125 --> 00:33:50,395 Were losing them. 792 00:33:50,428 --> 00:33:52,196 Take something off! 793 00:33:52,230 --> 00:33:53,798 Show them what you got! 794 00:34:07,678 --> 00:34:09,647 Okay. 795 00:34:09,680 --> 00:34:12,383 Here goes. 796 00:34:39,610 --> 00:34:41,546 Whats going on here? 797 00:34:41,579 --> 00:34:43,815 Must be something wrong with the circuit board. 798 00:34:43,848 --> 00:34:46,150 No, Max. 799 00:34:46,184 --> 00:34:47,752 Im an angel. 800 00:34:47,785 --> 00:34:49,420 A real angel. 801 00:34:49,454 --> 00:34:50,888 Oh, brother. 802 00:34:50,922 --> 00:34:52,423 I need a cigarette. 803 00:34:52,457 --> 00:34:55,226 Youre reaching for the wrong thing. 804 00:34:55,259 --> 00:34:57,328 You have been for a long time. 805 00:34:57,361 --> 00:34:59,230 Skip the commentary, will ya? 806 00:34:59,263 --> 00:35:01,432 I need a stripper, not a shrink. 807 00:35:01,466 --> 00:35:03,868 What you need is to remember. 808 00:35:05,470 --> 00:35:07,638 Remember when you loved your life, Max? 809 00:35:07,672 --> 00:35:11,309 When you were full of dreams, when you made that list? 810 00:35:11,342 --> 00:35:13,311 -Leave me alone. -For years, 811 00:35:13,344 --> 00:35:15,313 you said you were gonna do the right thing. 812 00:35:15,346 --> 00:35:18,583 Eh, maybe I will one day. 813 00:35:18,616 --> 00:35:19,851 Whats wrong with today? 814 00:35:29,827 --> 00:35:31,596 Whats going on here? 815 00:35:36,267 --> 00:35:38,669 I forgot my baseball cap. 816 00:35:41,606 --> 00:35:42,907 Gloria? 817 00:35:44,442 --> 00:35:47,478 Youre... youre glowing. 818 00:35:47,512 --> 00:35:49,614 Are you okay? 819 00:35:49,647 --> 00:35:52,216 Yes, Elmer, I am. 820 00:35:52,250 --> 00:35:53,417 But this is nuts! 821 00:35:53,451 --> 00:35:54,619 Are we still on the air? 822 00:35:54,652 --> 00:35:55,620 Arent we? What, what? 823 00:35:55,653 --> 00:35:56,754 Elmer: Dont ask me. 824 00:35:56,787 --> 00:35:59,490 I dont work here anymore. 825 00:35:59,524 --> 00:36:01,225 I better go. 826 00:36:01,259 --> 00:36:02,927 Gloria: No, Elmer, please. 827 00:36:02,960 --> 00:36:04,629 Stay. 828 00:36:07,331 --> 00:36:10,835 And, Max, ID like to bring on a few guests. 829 00:36:12,036 --> 00:36:15,239 Lets just call it a blast from the past. 830 00:36:39,964 --> 00:36:42,533 I remember you. 831 00:36:42,567 --> 00:36:44,702 Y-Youre the story lady. 832 00:36:44,735 --> 00:36:47,505 And youre the singer. 833 00:36:47,538 --> 00:36:50,241 And youre the martian. 834 00:36:51,642 --> 00:36:53,010 I must be losing my mind. 835 00:36:53,044 --> 00:36:54,946 No, Max. 836 00:36:54,979 --> 00:36:57,415 Were the angels that god has sent to be with you 837 00:36:57,448 --> 00:36:58,449 all through your life. 838 00:36:59,784 --> 00:37:01,285 Because he loves you. 839 00:37:01,319 --> 00:37:02,954 But you didnt want to listen to US. 840 00:37:02,987 --> 00:37:05,289 Or you wouldnt. 841 00:37:05,323 --> 00:37:06,958 Im just a hack. 842 00:37:06,991 --> 00:37:08,893 What does god want? 843 00:37:08,926 --> 00:37:11,696 God does not make hacks. 844 00:37:11,729 --> 00:37:13,598 He makes beautiful people. 845 00:37:13,631 --> 00:37:16,400 With unlimited potential. 846 00:37:16,434 --> 00:37:19,737 And hes waiting to help you reach yours. 847 00:37:19,770 --> 00:37:21,706 What potential? 848 00:37:21,739 --> 00:37:25,676 Max, god still has great plans for your life. 849 00:37:29,914 --> 00:37:32,950 Something you lost a long time ago. 850 00:37:32,984 --> 00:37:34,986 God wants you to have it back. 851 00:37:38,889 --> 00:37:41,659 My... my list. 852 00:37:43,661 --> 00:37:45,563 You had a dream, Max, 853 00:37:45,596 --> 00:37:47,832 that you could use television to bring people together; 854 00:37:47,865 --> 00:37:51,369 to open their minds and heal their hearts. 855 00:37:51,402 --> 00:37:54,472 You can still do that. 856 00:37:54,505 --> 00:37:56,607 You can start right now. 857 00:37:56,641 --> 00:37:58,876 The camera is on, and there are people out there 858 00:37:58,909 --> 00:38:01,379 who really need to hear what you have to say. 859 00:38:01,412 --> 00:38:04,382 Tell them about your dreams. 860 00:38:04,415 --> 00:38:06,984 Teach them what you have learned. 861 00:38:07,018 --> 00:38:10,488 If you can let god give your life meaning now, 862 00:38:10,521 --> 00:38:13,057 then it was never, ever wasted. 863 00:38:21,799 --> 00:38:24,101 Go ahead, Max. 864 00:38:24,135 --> 00:38:25,703 Its the right thing. 865 00:38:25,736 --> 00:38:28,673 You can do it. 866 00:38:43,087 --> 00:38:46,657 One day, a long time ago, 867 00:38:46,691 --> 00:38:49,860 I got scared. 868 00:38:49,894 --> 00:38:52,663 And I made a wrong choice. 869 00:38:52,697 --> 00:38:55,099 And then another and another. 870 00:38:57,635 --> 00:39:01,439 I did whatever it took to get you out there 871 00:39:01,472 --> 00:39:03,941 to watch my shows. 872 00:39:03,974 --> 00:39:06,877 And now that I see that the last 40 years of my life 873 00:39:06,911 --> 00:39:10,448 have been nothing but a series of wrong choices. 874 00:39:12,450 --> 00:39:15,586 I lost my dreams. 875 00:39:15,619 --> 00:39:17,121 I lost my best friend. 876 00:39:19,123 --> 00:39:22,059 And I dont deserve it, but it looks like 877 00:39:22,093 --> 00:39:24,628 god wants to give them both back to me. 878 00:39:25,730 --> 00:39:28,933 I dont know how much time I have. 879 00:39:28,966 --> 00:39:33,437 But from now on, im gonna put on the best program I can. 880 00:39:33,471 --> 00:39:38,008 And if the phones dont ring, thats okay. 881 00:39:38,042 --> 00:39:42,179 As long as the right message is getting out to you out there. 882 00:39:42,213 --> 00:39:45,549 Dont be afraid to stand up for the things you believe in. 883 00:39:45,583 --> 00:39:47,551 Oh. 884 00:39:47,585 --> 00:39:49,820 And theres something else I shouldve done, too. 885 00:39:49,854 --> 00:39:51,188 These things. 886 00:39:56,160 --> 00:39:58,963 I didnt have the courage then. 887 00:40:00,965 --> 00:40:03,868 I hope its not too late now. 888 00:40:11,909 --> 00:40:13,611 Tess. 889 00:40:13,644 --> 00:40:15,746 Do you mind? 890 00:40:15,780 --> 00:40:17,681 Welcome back, Max. 891 00:40:24,655 --> 00:40:28,826 ♪ God bless 892 00:40:28,859 --> 00:40:33,531 ♪ america 893 00:40:33,564 --> 00:40:42,640 ♪ land that I love 894 00:40:42,673 --> 00:40:47,778 ♪ stand beside her 895 00:40:47,812 --> 00:40:53,717 ♪ and guide her 896 00:40:53,751 --> 00:40:56,821 ♪ through the night 897 00:40:56,854 --> 00:41:00,024 ♪ with your light 898 00:41:00,057 --> 00:41:05,029 ♪ from above 899 00:41:05,062 --> 00:41:08,065 -♪ from the mountains -(Phones ringing) 900 00:41:08,098 --> 00:41:11,569 ♪ To the prairies 901 00:41:11,602 --> 00:41:14,905 -♪ to the oceans -hello. 902 00:41:14,939 --> 00:41:17,074 -♪ White with foam -yes. Come here, come here. 903 00:41:19,109 --> 00:41:24,949 ♪ God bless america 904 00:41:24,982 --> 00:41:26,851 ♪ my home 905 00:41:26,884 --> 00:41:32,289 ♪ sweet home 906 00:41:32,323 --> 00:41:38,095 ♪ god bless america 907 00:41:38,128 --> 00:41:42,233 ♪ my home 908 00:41:42,266 --> 00:41:45,703 ♪ sweet 909 00:41:45,736 --> 00:41:48,639 ♪ lord, bless america 910 00:41:48,672 --> 00:41:50,040 ♪ its my home 911 00:41:50,074 --> 00:41:55,079 ♪ sweet home. 60945

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