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1
00:00:43,456 --> 00:00:46,450
[MUSIC PLAYING]
2
00:02:18,343 --> 00:02:21,143
Peter, what have you done?
3
00:02:31,096 --> 00:02:32,763
Do you want to hear
a Christmas story?
4
00:02:48,991 --> 00:02:51,955
[LAUGHTER]
5
00:03:04,905 --> 00:03:06,193
Oh, Chloe.
6
00:03:06,193 --> 00:03:08,023
What do you think you're doing?
7
00:03:08,023 --> 00:03:10,073
I saw a Santa, Toby.
8
00:03:10,073 --> 00:03:10,873
Really?
9
00:03:10,873 --> 00:03:12,043
Yeah, he was in the drive.
10
00:03:12,043 --> 00:03:13,341
I saw him with his friends.
11
00:03:13,341 --> 00:03:14,383
You were just dreaming.
12
00:03:14,383 --> 00:03:15,283
Go back to sleep.
13
00:03:15,283 --> 00:03:17,083
Please, Toby, come and look.
14
00:03:17,083 --> 00:03:18,133
Go away.
15
00:03:18,133 --> 00:03:19,468
Please, Toby, come look.
16
00:03:21,973 --> 00:03:23,683
So annoying.
17
00:03:23,683 --> 00:03:26,173
Yeah, the kids are asleep.
18
00:03:26,173 --> 00:03:27,973
And we're looking
forward to seeing you,
19
00:03:27,973 --> 00:03:30,733
but Toby's probably going to
be too busy with his new killer
20
00:03:30,733 --> 00:03:33,613
elf game.
21
00:03:33,613 --> 00:03:35,713
Yeah, Chloe's going
to love her new doll.
22
00:03:38,733 --> 00:03:41,463
You know Sean, he's anything.
23
00:03:41,463 --> 00:03:45,293
Do you need us to
bring anything with us?
24
00:03:45,293 --> 00:03:47,183
OK, well, if you're sure.
25
00:03:47,183 --> 00:03:48,183
See you tomorrow, mom.
26
00:03:48,183 --> 00:03:48,983
Love you.
27
00:03:48,983 --> 00:03:49,783
Bye.
28
00:03:53,363 --> 00:03:55,673
See, no one's there.
29
00:03:55,673 --> 00:03:56,843
But I saw them.
30
00:03:59,909 --> 00:04:02,006
You were just dreaming.
31
00:04:02,006 --> 00:04:04,964
(DOG BARKING)
32
00:04:11,463 --> 00:04:13,788
Rufus, shut up or I'll
chop your balls off.
33
00:04:19,593 --> 00:04:21,122
I swear I saw him.
34
00:04:21,122 --> 00:04:23,163
He was with an
elf and a snowman.
35
00:04:23,163 --> 00:04:26,343
I'm sure he was, but you're
not supposed to see Santa,
36
00:04:26,343 --> 00:04:29,028
so don't let him know, or
he'll take all your presents.
37
00:04:38,733 --> 00:04:41,398
Polly, close the window.
38
00:04:41,398 --> 00:04:42,198
It's cold.
39
00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:03,873
[LAUGHTER]
40
00:05:03,873 --> 00:05:04,673
Dad.
41
00:05:17,463 --> 00:05:18,978
Dad.
42
00:05:18,978 --> 00:05:20,228
It's a terrible Santa costume.
43
00:05:57,622 --> 00:06:01,653
I'm your snowman,
short and fat.
44
00:06:01,653 --> 00:06:05,243
Here's my scarf
and here's my hat.
45
00:06:05,243 --> 00:06:08,003
When I see the
snowfall, hear me shout.
46
00:06:13,023 --> 00:06:15,588
All the little children
please come out.
47
00:06:24,068 --> 00:06:24,868
Santa.
48
00:06:29,283 --> 00:06:32,763
You don't look like I
thought you would, Santa.
49
00:06:32,763 --> 00:06:34,188
Did you have an accident?
50
00:06:38,403 --> 00:06:39,993
Yes, little girl.
51
00:06:39,993 --> 00:06:44,953
Santa had a very bad
accident this year.
52
00:06:44,953 --> 00:06:47,013
Did your sleigh crash?
53
00:06:47,013 --> 00:06:48,408
Are your reindeer OK?
54
00:06:51,953 --> 00:06:53,858
What's your name?
55
00:06:53,858 --> 00:06:54,658
Chloe.
56
00:07:01,073 --> 00:07:04,373
Would you like
a present, Chloe?
57
00:07:04,373 --> 00:07:05,738
Yes please, Santa.
58
00:07:13,343 --> 00:07:15,983
This belonged to another
little girl's house
59
00:07:15,983 --> 00:07:18,463
that I visited.
60
00:07:18,463 --> 00:07:21,763
Would you want
bunny like a friend?
61
00:07:21,763 --> 00:07:22,993
Yes, please, Santa.
62
00:07:28,573 --> 00:07:31,663
Would you like a
special present, Chloe?
63
00:07:31,663 --> 00:07:34,573
Yes, please, Santa.
64
00:07:34,573 --> 00:07:41,793
Would you and your brother
want to come on that ride
65
00:07:41,793 --> 00:07:44,073
to the North Pole?
66
00:07:44,073 --> 00:07:44,973
Really?
67
00:07:44,973 --> 00:07:46,203
Yes.
68
00:07:46,203 --> 00:07:50,913
You can come and see all the
fun we have in our workshops
69
00:07:50,913 --> 00:07:55,699
with the other little
girls and boys.
70
00:07:55,699 --> 00:07:58,675
[LAUGHTER]
71
00:08:10,048 --> 00:08:11,923
The presence must be
around here somewhere.
72
00:08:11,923 --> 00:08:13,595
Harriet, your dad's
going to catch us.
73
00:08:13,595 --> 00:08:15,553
Did you know the family
who used to live here
74
00:08:15,553 --> 00:08:17,803
got killed on Christmas Eve?
75
00:08:17,803 --> 00:08:19,453
Really?
76
00:08:19,453 --> 00:08:20,953
Yeah, they never
found the girl.
77
00:08:20,953 --> 00:08:21,753
Hi.
78
00:08:23,913 --> 00:08:26,721
I'm back home.
79
00:08:26,721 --> 00:08:28,893
I bought a bigger
tree than we used to.
80
00:08:28,893 --> 00:08:31,737
[SCREAMS]
81
00:08:31,737 --> 00:08:34,113
[LAUGHTER]
82
00:08:34,113 --> 00:08:36,753
Mr Red, I have
two new playmates.
83
00:08:36,753 --> 00:08:40,460
It's time for some fun.
84
00:08:40,460 --> 00:08:43,424
[LAUGHTER]
85
00:08:50,843 --> 00:08:52,283
Hello.
86
00:08:52,283 --> 00:08:54,823
We've had a call about
a domestic disturbance.
87
00:08:57,528 --> 00:08:58,328
Is anyone home?
88
00:09:00,833 --> 00:09:01,633
Nice house.
89
00:09:15,768 --> 00:09:16,568
Fuck.
90
00:09:21,023 --> 00:09:22,523
Great first
Christmas on the beat.
91
00:09:26,673 --> 00:09:29,063
Yeah, well, it's
going to be a long one.
92
00:09:29,063 --> 00:09:30,755
While you doing area
search down here,
93
00:09:30,755 --> 00:09:31,838
I'll do the same upstairs.
94
00:09:31,838 --> 00:09:36,323
(SINGING) The stars
in the bright sky
95
00:09:36,323 --> 00:09:39,483
look down where he lay.
96
00:09:39,483 --> 00:09:40,383
Sounds like a girl.
97
00:09:40,383 --> 00:09:47,489
(SINGING) The little Lord
Jesus asleep on the hay.
98
00:09:51,473 --> 00:09:59,773
The stars in the bright sky
looked down where he lay.
99
00:09:59,773 --> 00:10:08,713
The little Lord Jesus
asleep on the hay.
100
00:10:08,713 --> 00:10:20,303
The stars in the bright sky look
down where lay, the little Lord
101
00:10:20,303 --> 00:10:26,203
Jesus asleep on the hay.
102
00:10:26,203 --> 00:10:32,413
Hey, you OK?
103
00:10:32,413 --> 00:10:34,503
Of course, I'm OK, silly.
104
00:10:34,503 --> 00:10:37,873
It's Christmas.
105
00:10:37,873 --> 00:10:40,883
How do you come
to join our party?
106
00:10:40,883 --> 00:10:42,113
Come on.
107
00:10:42,113 --> 00:10:43,343
Come out here with me.
108
00:10:43,343 --> 00:10:44,273
Why?
109
00:10:44,273 --> 00:10:46,703
Where are we going?
110
00:10:46,703 --> 00:10:48,833
Somewhere safe.
111
00:10:48,833 --> 00:10:52,223
I'm always safe with Mr. Red.
112
00:10:52,223 --> 00:10:53,033
Mr. Red.
113
00:10:53,033 --> 00:10:59,833
Yes, he's the ghost
of Christmas future.
114
00:10:59,833 --> 00:11:01,513
Christmas future?
115
00:11:01,513 --> 00:11:03,253
He knows when
everyone's going to die.
116
00:11:08,083 --> 00:11:09,918
Ray.
117
00:11:09,918 --> 00:11:10,718
Ray.
118
00:11:14,788 --> 00:11:17,308
It's the season to be jolly.
119
00:11:17,308 --> 00:11:20,043
[LAUGHTER]
120
00:11:31,313 --> 00:11:34,589
Oh, what the fuck.
121
00:11:34,589 --> 00:11:37,541
[LAUGHTER]
122
00:11:39,513 --> 00:11:42,543
I think it's time for
the Christmas Holly.
123
00:11:42,543 --> 00:11:43,771
Wait.
Wait.
124
00:11:43,771 --> 00:11:44,813
Wait, no, no, no, no, no.
125
00:11:44,813 --> 00:11:45,613
Wait.
126
00:11:45,613 --> 00:11:47,393
Wait, no, no.
127
00:11:47,393 --> 00:12:04,843
[SCREAMS]
128
00:12:04,843 --> 00:12:06,973
Wakey wakey.
129
00:12:06,973 --> 00:12:08,713
Did you like the
Christmas decorations?
130
00:12:12,673 --> 00:12:14,473
The fuck's going on?
131
00:12:14,473 --> 00:12:17,233
Mr. Red is making things
ready for Christmas.
132
00:12:17,233 --> 00:12:20,533
Please help me.
133
00:12:20,533 --> 00:12:22,813
Mr. Red is helping you, silly.
134
00:12:22,813 --> 00:12:24,523
Wait.
135
00:12:24,523 --> 00:12:27,023
I recognize you.
136
00:12:27,023 --> 00:12:30,843
You're the girl that we're
missing five years ago.
137
00:12:30,843 --> 00:12:31,703
Her name is Chloe.
138
00:12:31,703 --> 00:12:34,633
Yes, that's me.
139
00:12:34,633 --> 00:12:36,253
What happened to you?
140
00:12:36,253 --> 00:12:38,563
I made new friends.
141
00:12:38,563 --> 00:12:43,090
I still see my family from time
to time, especially my brother,
142
00:12:43,090 --> 00:12:44,048
like a Christmas ghost.
143
00:12:49,303 --> 00:12:53,079
We had so much fun with the
family of this house this year.
144
00:12:53,079 --> 00:12:55,857
[LAUGHTER]
145
00:12:57,253 --> 00:13:01,388
Those arrested, killed
together, stay together.
146
00:13:01,388 --> 00:13:04,153
[LAUGHTER]
147
00:13:10,303 --> 00:13:11,323
Please.
148
00:13:11,323 --> 00:13:14,893
Are you ready for
some festive fun, Chloe.
149
00:13:14,893 --> 00:13:18,643
Mr. Red has a very
fun surprise for you.
150
00:13:18,643 --> 00:13:19,843
What are you doing?
151
00:13:19,843 --> 00:13:21,733
Do you like lighting
the Christmas pudding?
152
00:13:21,733 --> 00:13:22,693
Petrol.
153
00:13:22,693 --> 00:13:24,688
So much better than brandy.
154
00:13:24,688 --> 00:13:27,663
[LAUGHTER]
155
00:13:40,453 --> 00:13:44,273
Please, don't do it, please.
156
00:13:44,273 --> 00:13:46,394
Don't do it.
157
00:13:46,394 --> 00:13:49,256
[SCREAMING]
158
00:13:55,443 --> 00:13:59,913
And this was a very dull
Mr. Red gave to her right
159
00:13:59,913 --> 00:14:03,373
before they took a trip with all
the dead bodies in the sleigh
160
00:14:03,373 --> 00:14:04,173
van.
161
00:14:06,778 --> 00:14:09,222
[LAUGHTER]
162
00:14:15,583 --> 00:14:16,443
Sleigh van.
163
00:14:16,443 --> 00:14:17,733
Oh, yeah.
164
00:14:17,733 --> 00:14:20,073
Diesel is more
efficient than reindeer,
165
00:14:20,073 --> 00:14:24,933
and you can get more dead bodies
in a white van, especially
166
00:14:24,933 --> 00:14:25,833
kids.
167
00:14:25,833 --> 00:14:26,913
Smaller.
168
00:14:26,913 --> 00:14:28,953
What happened to the girl?
169
00:14:28,953 --> 00:14:31,683
She went into child care.
170
00:14:31,683 --> 00:14:34,073
If you can call it that.
171
00:14:34,073 --> 00:14:36,083
Strikes me she'd have
been less dysfunctional
172
00:14:36,083 --> 00:14:39,023
if she'd stayed with the
three escaped serial killers.
173
00:14:39,023 --> 00:14:43,103
Why were they dressed as
a Santa, elf, and snowman?
174
00:14:43,103 --> 00:14:50,003
Mr. Red was a jolly arsonist
who burnt down workshops.
175
00:14:50,003 --> 00:14:54,923
Mr. Green was a terrorist who
mailed out Christmas crackers
176
00:14:54,923 --> 00:14:56,563
filled with explosives.
177
00:14:59,633 --> 00:15:04,823
And Mr. White, well,
he froze people
178
00:15:04,823 --> 00:15:08,213
to eat for Christmas dinner.
179
00:15:08,213 --> 00:15:10,793
How did they all
escape at once?
180
00:15:10,793 --> 00:15:14,993
Idiots put them all on the
same ward, nicknamed them
181
00:15:14,993 --> 00:15:19,303
the three Christmas nutters,
although they seriously
182
00:15:19,303 --> 00:15:21,793
underestimated the effectiveness
of a Christmas tree
183
00:15:21,793 --> 00:15:24,083
as a battering ram.
184
00:15:24,083 --> 00:15:26,303
Jesus Christ.
185
00:15:26,303 --> 00:15:27,813
Oh, no.
186
00:15:27,813 --> 00:15:29,953
She never spoke to him.
187
00:15:29,953 --> 00:15:31,213
Funny, really.
188
00:15:31,213 --> 00:15:33,613
Whole festival dedicated
to his birthday,
189
00:15:33,613 --> 00:15:36,463
and all anyone ever wants
to do is write to me.
190
00:15:36,463 --> 00:15:39,043
The poor fucker was
on a cross, died,
191
00:15:39,043 --> 00:15:40,903
and all they want
is fucking presents.
192
00:15:40,903 --> 00:15:43,273
I've got enough fucking
work to do at Christmas.
193
00:15:49,043 --> 00:15:53,448
Anyway, bloody Christmas.
194
00:15:53,448 --> 00:15:54,823
Now what else have
I got in here?
195
00:15:54,823 --> 00:15:56,203
Oh, yeah.
196
00:15:56,203 --> 00:16:01,423
Now this is my new
Teddy bear design.
197
00:16:01,423 --> 00:16:03,073
What do you think?
198
00:16:03,073 --> 00:16:05,493
I call him cuddles.
199
00:16:08,243 --> 00:16:10,403
What happened to him?
200
00:16:10,403 --> 00:16:19,846
Yeah, I think the elf in the
workshop may have had issues.
201
00:16:19,846 --> 00:16:21,763
Reminds me of another
bloke I know had issues.
202
00:16:21,763 --> 00:16:26,183
I tell you what, I could
tell you a story about him
203
00:16:26,183 --> 00:16:27,323
that would cheer you up.
204
00:16:33,393 --> 00:16:35,823
He looks all right.
205
00:16:35,823 --> 00:16:40,793
That is because
this is Dr. White.
206
00:16:40,793 --> 00:16:42,893
You wait until you
meet his counterpart.
207
00:16:46,163 --> 00:16:51,653
This is a little festive tale I
like to call the Ventriloquist
208
00:16:51,653 --> 00:16:53,313
Who Stole Christmas.
209
00:16:56,753 --> 00:17:00,953
So why did the man only
wear one boot to town?
210
00:17:00,953 --> 00:17:04,357
Because the weather forecast
only gave 50% chance of snow.
211
00:17:08,273 --> 00:17:10,943
Hey, do you know frosty
the snowman reminds
212
00:17:10,943 --> 00:17:12,243
me of my dad, Dr. White?
213
00:17:12,243 --> 00:17:13,043
Why?
214
00:17:13,043 --> 00:17:15,892
Because he used to buy
you lots of slush puppies?
215
00:17:15,892 --> 00:17:19,223
No, because he said
he'd come back one day.
216
00:17:24,953 --> 00:17:29,273
I had a threesome with
two princesses yesterday.
217
00:17:29,273 --> 00:17:30,623
That's disgusting, Dr. White.
218
00:17:30,623 --> 00:17:31,790
Why are you telling me that?
219
00:17:31,790 --> 00:17:36,790
Because you told
me to let it go.
220
00:17:36,790 --> 00:17:37,873
Not like that, I didn't.
221
00:17:37,873 --> 00:17:40,453
If you carry on like that,
they'll put you on a list.
222
00:17:40,453 --> 00:17:42,583
What sort of list?
223
00:17:42,583 --> 00:17:44,623
A. Very naughty list.
224
00:17:44,623 --> 00:17:46,003
Cool.
225
00:17:46,003 --> 00:17:50,353
Well, I know where all the
naughty girls are like Santa.
226
00:17:50,353 --> 00:17:52,603
No, not like Santa.
227
00:17:52,603 --> 00:17:54,013
Cool.
228
00:17:54,013 --> 00:17:59,613
Do you know why Santa
doesn't have any kids?
229
00:17:59,613 --> 00:18:02,463
Because he only
comes once a year.
230
00:18:05,043 --> 00:18:05,853
Right.
231
00:18:05,853 --> 00:18:08,283
Well, I think we've seen enough.
232
00:18:08,283 --> 00:18:09,843
Mr. White.
233
00:18:09,843 --> 00:18:11,683
Don't call us.
234
00:18:11,683 --> 00:18:16,153
Well, don't call us.
235
00:18:16,153 --> 00:18:18,193
Did you not like it?
236
00:18:18,193 --> 00:18:19,723
It's not quite
what we're looking
237
00:18:19,723 --> 00:18:22,933
for for this year's outbound
for the elderly Christmas
238
00:18:22,933 --> 00:18:24,643
variety show.
239
00:18:24,643 --> 00:18:26,083
This is Margate.
240
00:18:26,083 --> 00:18:27,953
Hey, maybe you should
head to Brighton.
241
00:18:27,953 --> 00:18:29,443
They like weird stuff there.
242
00:18:29,443 --> 00:18:34,553
Here they like virulent, happy
families, and warm coffins.
243
00:18:34,553 --> 00:18:37,013
Oh, I mean coffees.
244
00:18:37,013 --> 00:18:40,853
I can mix it up a bit and
make it a bit more progressive.
245
00:18:40,853 --> 00:18:44,243
I think you've progressed
as far as you can.
246
00:18:44,243 --> 00:18:47,153
Any more progressive I won't
have to call the police.
247
00:18:47,153 --> 00:18:49,553
It's all just a
bit, well, creepy.
248
00:18:49,553 --> 00:18:51,443
Well, Christmas is
all about a fat man
249
00:18:51,443 --> 00:18:54,593
climbing into people's homes
and little children's bedrooms.
250
00:18:54,593 --> 00:18:55,683
Quite, Dr. White.
251
00:18:55,683 --> 00:18:58,358
We've got lots of people
to see and your time is--
252
00:18:58,358 --> 00:19:00,683
was up.
253
00:19:00,683 --> 00:19:03,451
Keep it on the down low, but
we've got a break dancing
254
00:19:03,451 --> 00:19:05,243
reindeer who got through
to the semi-finals
255
00:19:05,243 --> 00:19:06,473
of Britain's Got Talent.
256
00:19:13,183 --> 00:19:16,303
Hugo, we've got a problem.
257
00:19:16,303 --> 00:19:18,853
What is it, Leroy?
258
00:19:18,853 --> 00:19:20,843
It's Mrs. Crimpton.
259
00:19:20,843 --> 00:19:21,643
Oh, God.
260
00:19:24,233 --> 00:19:26,723
She turned up to do
her annual striptease.
261
00:19:26,723 --> 00:19:28,473
Oh, God.
262
00:19:28,473 --> 00:19:30,623
Has she escaped from
the hospital again?
263
00:19:30,623 --> 00:19:31,433
I think so.
264
00:19:31,433 --> 00:19:34,608
She's wearing one of those
gowns without the back in.
265
00:19:34,608 --> 00:19:35,408
Oh.
266
00:19:38,903 --> 00:19:40,403
Hello, Henry.
267
00:19:40,403 --> 00:19:42,608
Oh, you're looking tired.
268
00:19:47,023 --> 00:19:49,133
You are not auditioning him.
269
00:19:49,133 --> 00:19:50,813
Don't be like that, Henry.
270
00:19:50,813 --> 00:19:54,053
Nothing wrong with a bit
of healthy competition,
271
00:19:54,053 --> 00:19:58,333
although you are
getting on a bit.
272
00:19:58,333 --> 00:20:00,823
It's called experience.
273
00:20:00,823 --> 00:20:02,773
It's one way of putting it.
274
00:20:02,773 --> 00:20:07,483
And don't you think your act's
a little bit racist these days?
275
00:20:07,483 --> 00:20:11,563
I mean, Dr. White?
276
00:20:11,563 --> 00:20:13,543
I'm a snowman.
277
00:20:13,543 --> 00:20:15,313
That's a politically
incorrect snow
278
00:20:15,313 --> 00:20:21,433
person, unlike myself, Professor
Trueheart and Bobbin Buttons.
279
00:20:21,433 --> 00:20:23,593
You're a fucking cunt.
280
00:20:23,593 --> 00:20:24,613
What did you say?
281
00:20:24,613 --> 00:20:25,663
I said you're--
282
00:20:25,663 --> 00:20:27,793
Don't talk, Dr. White.
283
00:20:27,793 --> 00:20:31,413
Are you having
another meltdown?
284
00:20:31,413 --> 00:20:34,163
Rehab not go well.
285
00:20:34,163 --> 00:20:35,753
He Stole my father's act.
286
00:20:35,753 --> 00:20:39,233
, Henry no one cares about
your father and his lame
287
00:20:39,233 --> 00:20:40,853
ass forgotten show in Norway.
288
00:20:46,783 --> 00:20:48,283
Don't talk about my father.
289
00:20:56,173 --> 00:20:57,733
As the lawyers
told you, there's
290
00:20:57,733 --> 00:21:01,303
not a copyright on
Snowman, and Bobbins and I
291
00:21:01,303 --> 00:21:03,013
sell a lot better than you.
292
00:21:03,013 --> 00:21:04,663
I mean, let's face it.
293
00:21:04,663 --> 00:21:06,853
It's not like I've won
the children's award
294
00:21:06,853 --> 00:21:09,073
of Margate five years in a row.
295
00:21:09,073 --> 00:21:11,333
Oh, wait, that's a coincidence.
296
00:21:11,333 --> 00:21:12,133
I actually have.
297
00:21:12,133 --> 00:21:14,748
[LAUGHTER]
298
00:21:17,093 --> 00:21:22,343
I could be as big as you,
but I've got principles.
299
00:21:22,343 --> 00:21:24,083
I've got a newsflash
for you, Henry.
300
00:21:24,083 --> 00:21:26,063
Wake up granddad.
301
00:21:26,063 --> 00:21:28,163
Your act is dead.
302
00:21:35,443 --> 00:21:38,953
For the love of God,
why are there two snowmen
303
00:21:38,953 --> 00:21:41,893
having a fight on
my fucking stage?
304
00:21:41,893 --> 00:21:46,798
Leroy, get them out of here
and fetch me a ginseng tea.
305
00:21:49,333 --> 00:21:50,353
Fuck.
306
00:21:50,353 --> 00:21:53,083
This, is Prancer the
reindeer breakdancer.
307
00:21:53,083 --> 00:21:54,613
Yeah, no shit.
308
00:21:54,613 --> 00:21:55,633
Hello.
309
00:21:55,633 --> 00:21:57,523
No, am I on stage now then or?
310
00:22:16,693 --> 00:22:18,583
Don't worry, Dr. White.
311
00:22:18,583 --> 00:22:19,963
You'll get the next job.
312
00:22:19,963 --> 00:22:20,923
Yes, we will.
313
00:22:23,648 --> 00:22:24,448
Dr. White?
314
00:22:29,153 --> 00:22:30,713
These are those
Christmas adverts.
315
00:22:30,713 --> 00:22:32,063
Nah, man.
316
00:22:32,063 --> 00:22:34,733
It's the bad boy,
did the cookie adverts.
317
00:22:34,733 --> 00:22:36,953
Yeah, it's him.
318
00:22:41,993 --> 00:22:42,793
Come on, man.
319
00:22:42,793 --> 00:22:43,993
Cheer up.
320
00:22:43,993 --> 00:22:46,663
Yeah, it's Christmas.
321
00:22:46,663 --> 00:22:47,803
Yo, where's the puppet?
322
00:22:47,803 --> 00:22:50,773
[LAUGHTER]
323
00:23:12,593 --> 00:23:14,723
Fuck off.
324
00:23:14,723 --> 00:23:18,023
You want to see
the act, big man.
325
00:23:18,023 --> 00:23:20,503
Come on.
326
00:23:20,503 --> 00:23:23,333
Don't trouble, guys.
327
00:23:23,333 --> 00:23:25,783
Raise your festive
cheer, wacker.
328
00:23:25,783 --> 00:23:27,203
[MOCKING LAUGHTER]
329
00:23:27,203 --> 00:23:29,813
I'm Dr. White.
330
00:23:29,813 --> 00:23:31,253
What's that?
331
00:23:31,253 --> 00:23:32,905
Why don't you shut up?
332
00:23:32,905 --> 00:23:35,423
[GRUNTS]
333
00:23:35,423 --> 00:23:39,753
Man, oh, dear.
334
00:23:39,753 --> 00:23:41,328
We all know no English now.
335
00:23:52,813 --> 00:23:53,833
Come on, let's go.
336
00:23:53,833 --> 00:23:54,633
Let's go.
337
00:23:57,953 --> 00:23:59,524
[GROANING]
338
00:24:41,053 --> 00:24:43,573
Henry, what's
happened to your face?
339
00:24:46,693 --> 00:24:49,983
Tragic crowd surfing accident.
340
00:24:49,983 --> 00:24:52,443
Sarcasm doesn't help
with your problems.
341
00:24:52,443 --> 00:24:55,353
But what excuse do you
have for your face then?
342
00:24:55,353 --> 00:24:58,893
And I thought we agreed no
more puppets at our meetings.
343
00:24:58,893 --> 00:25:00,543
He's having a sudden act.
344
00:25:03,173 --> 00:25:05,603
Do you want to tell me
what happened at the school?
345
00:25:05,603 --> 00:25:10,173
And that's why there'll be
no snow in Africa this year
346
00:25:10,173 --> 00:25:11,943
because of your parents.
347
00:25:11,943 --> 00:25:14,013
But how are we
supposed to get anywhere
348
00:25:14,013 --> 00:25:15,553
if we can't use planes?
349
00:25:15,553 --> 00:25:16,353
Swim.
350
00:25:16,353 --> 00:25:18,693
I can't swim to Disneyland.
351
00:25:18,693 --> 00:25:20,973
Think of the Dolphins.
352
00:25:20,973 --> 00:25:21,993
Fuck the Dolphins.
353
00:25:21,993 --> 00:25:23,523
Oh, shut up, you little--
354
00:25:23,523 --> 00:25:25,223
Cunt.
355
00:25:25,223 --> 00:25:28,973
Conservation Under
National Threat.
356
00:25:28,973 --> 00:25:31,553
Exactly.
357
00:25:31,553 --> 00:25:35,873
I wasn't swearing.
358
00:25:35,873 --> 00:25:38,613
Is it any wonder
you lost the job?
359
00:25:38,613 --> 00:25:40,473
Don't start that again.
360
00:25:40,473 --> 00:25:42,033
It's not funny.
361
00:25:42,033 --> 00:25:45,823
Apparently, I'm not
that funny anymore.
362
00:25:45,823 --> 00:25:47,893
Going around teaching
global warming to kids.
363
00:25:47,893 --> 00:25:53,663
Seriously, who cares
if the ice caps melt?
364
00:25:53,663 --> 00:25:56,603
And why is it you're
teaching to year-sevens?
365
00:25:56,603 --> 00:26:00,803
Because my co-worker got
caught doing cocaine, shooting
366
00:26:00,803 --> 00:26:04,663
snow sprinkled cookie adverts.
367
00:26:04,663 --> 00:26:08,383
Well, the official line
is you had a breakdown,
368
00:26:08,383 --> 00:26:10,213
the company didn't
want to get sued,
369
00:26:10,213 --> 00:26:12,883
and what with all the kids
on set and the snowman
370
00:26:12,883 --> 00:26:17,563
snorting all the snow, but
yes, it's not a good look
371
00:26:17,563 --> 00:26:19,003
for a children's entertainer.
372
00:26:21,893 --> 00:26:24,743
That's all I am
to you, isn't it?
373
00:26:24,743 --> 00:26:27,953
A children's entertainer.
374
00:26:27,953 --> 00:26:30,383
And I can't even get a
job in Southern Panto.
375
00:26:30,383 --> 00:26:33,503
Henry, I am not your agent.
376
00:26:33,503 --> 00:26:34,883
I am your therapist.
377
00:26:34,883 --> 00:26:38,173
Yeah, so you
keep reminding me.
378
00:26:38,173 --> 00:26:40,543
I can't get one
of those anymore.
379
00:26:40,543 --> 00:26:46,113
Maybe it's a good idea to
think about another career.
380
00:26:46,113 --> 00:26:48,873
Get out of the
ventriloquist business.
381
00:26:48,873 --> 00:26:50,140
It could do you good.
382
00:26:50,140 --> 00:26:51,723
What would the memory
of your father--
383
00:26:51,723 --> 00:26:53,373
Don't say it.
384
00:26:53,373 --> 00:26:55,983
Don't mention my father.
385
00:26:59,223 --> 00:27:02,313
You always have to twist it
round back to my childhood.
386
00:27:05,379 --> 00:27:09,083
You need to bury the past.
387
00:27:09,083 --> 00:27:15,563
[NON-ENGLISH SPEECH]
388
00:27:15,563 --> 00:27:17,228
What are you saying now?
389
00:27:20,953 --> 00:27:22,708
He said you're
being very helpful.
390
00:27:32,123 --> 00:27:33,273
Time's up.
391
00:27:33,273 --> 00:27:35,258
I'll see you next Friday,
without the puppet.
392
00:27:43,183 --> 00:27:44,303
It's time to go.
393
00:27:44,303 --> 00:27:45,593
He's going to be here soon.
394
00:27:45,593 --> 00:27:46,463
Who cares?
395
00:27:46,463 --> 00:27:47,933
You're leaving him anyway.
396
00:27:47,933 --> 00:27:48,733
I know.
397
00:27:48,733 --> 00:27:50,123
He's fucking weird in the head.
398
00:27:50,123 --> 00:27:51,453
Just like his dad then.
399
00:27:51,453 --> 00:27:52,253
Yeah.
400
00:27:52,253 --> 00:27:54,473
You know he doesn't
even talk to his mom.
401
00:27:54,473 --> 00:27:57,363
There's only
something off there.
402
00:27:57,363 --> 00:27:58,403
Forget about him.
403
00:27:58,403 --> 00:27:59,595
You don't get it, Brandon.
404
00:27:59,595 --> 00:28:01,553
His dad didn't just leave
him with that puppet.
405
00:28:01,553 --> 00:28:04,043
He left him with a
whole load of crazy.
406
00:28:04,043 --> 00:28:06,773
I can think of a lot better
things to do with my hands
407
00:28:06,773 --> 00:28:08,173
than play with a puppet.
408
00:28:08,173 --> 00:28:10,313
I'm sure you can.
409
00:28:10,313 --> 00:28:12,323
I dread to think what
he thinks about you.
410
00:28:12,323 --> 00:28:13,313
Oh, don't.
411
00:28:13,313 --> 00:28:15,578
Like, it's too creepy
to even think about.
412
00:28:15,578 --> 00:28:17,513
You know he's into you though.
413
00:28:17,513 --> 00:28:18,983
Yeah, I know.
414
00:28:18,983 --> 00:28:20,463
It's all for me.
415
00:28:20,463 --> 00:28:21,953
You living with him.
416
00:28:21,953 --> 00:28:24,883
Don't you think you're
giving him mixed signals?
417
00:28:24,883 --> 00:28:28,043
Fuck off.
418
00:28:28,043 --> 00:28:30,406
Does he notice you
stealing all this snow?
419
00:28:30,406 --> 00:28:31,823
Yeah, why do you
think I'd stay?
420
00:28:31,823 --> 00:28:33,948
It'll be some perks living
with the snowman, right?
421
00:28:33,948 --> 00:28:36,823
[LAUGHTER]
422
00:28:36,823 --> 00:28:40,633
Oh, and for my next
trick, this assistant's
423
00:28:40,633 --> 00:28:41,933
going to make it snow.
424
00:28:41,933 --> 00:28:42,733
Fuck shit.
425
00:28:42,733 --> 00:28:44,333
He's here.
426
00:28:44,333 --> 00:28:45,133
Get dressed.
427
00:28:49,733 --> 00:28:53,133
Back early from therapy.
428
00:28:53,133 --> 00:28:54,933
What the fuck happened?
429
00:28:54,933 --> 00:28:56,253
You been drinking again.
430
00:28:56,253 --> 00:28:59,245
It's nothing.
431
00:28:59,245 --> 00:29:00,828
Where were you today
for the audition?
432
00:29:04,533 --> 00:29:06,453
I really needed you.
433
00:29:06,453 --> 00:29:09,283
I told you, Henry, I don't want
to be your assistant anymore.
434
00:29:09,283 --> 00:29:10,083
Don't you get it?
435
00:29:10,083 --> 00:29:12,813
We've not made any money since
you came back from rehab.
436
00:29:12,813 --> 00:29:19,233
But listen, I've got a really
good idea for a new TV show.
437
00:29:19,233 --> 00:29:22,483
It's going to be really good.
438
00:29:22,483 --> 00:29:26,723
So just wait a
little longer here.
439
00:29:26,723 --> 00:29:27,608
Face it, Henry.
440
00:29:27,608 --> 00:29:29,483
You're never going to
be as good as your dad.
441
00:29:32,823 --> 00:29:36,563
Please, I know that I
can turn this act around.
442
00:29:36,563 --> 00:29:37,363
Don't you get it?
443
00:29:37,363 --> 00:29:40,203
People are not into this
puppet stuff anymore.
444
00:29:40,203 --> 00:29:42,723
They're into like CGI
and superhero shit,
445
00:29:42,723 --> 00:29:45,183
not a fucking talking snowman.
446
00:29:45,183 --> 00:29:48,843
Any day now, people are
going to want puppets again.
447
00:29:48,843 --> 00:29:51,213
Listen, Henry.
448
00:29:51,213 --> 00:29:53,123
I've got an agent.
449
00:29:53,123 --> 00:29:55,776
I might as well tell you now,
but I'm moving to London.
450
00:29:55,776 --> 00:29:57,443
I've actually got an
audition next week.
451
00:29:57,443 --> 00:29:58,485
It's for [INAUDIBLE] too.
452
00:29:58,485 --> 00:30:02,733
It's going to be like
a real art house piece.
453
00:30:02,733 --> 00:30:05,773
You can't leave me.
454
00:30:05,773 --> 00:30:08,593
If you leave me now,
you'll regret it.
455
00:30:08,593 --> 00:30:12,193
Your show's shit, just
like everything else you do.
456
00:30:12,193 --> 00:30:14,083
Listen, mate.
457
00:30:14,083 --> 00:30:16,753
It's over.
458
00:30:16,753 --> 00:30:18,463
Who's this?
459
00:30:18,463 --> 00:30:23,023
Someone who doesn't play
with toys for a fucking living.
460
00:30:23,023 --> 00:30:24,083
What are you?
461
00:30:24,083 --> 00:30:24,883
50?
462
00:30:24,883 --> 00:30:27,243
Leave it, Brandon.
463
00:30:27,243 --> 00:30:28,633
Can't leave me for him.
464
00:30:28,633 --> 00:30:31,873
He, unlike you, he
actually believes in me,
465
00:30:31,873 --> 00:30:34,093
that I'm not going to
be some stupid assistant
466
00:30:34,093 --> 00:30:36,043
to a fucking freak like you.
467
00:30:41,618 --> 00:30:42,493
I won't let you go.
468
00:30:45,573 --> 00:30:48,073
You don't have a choice, mate.
469
00:31:01,573 --> 00:31:04,153
Come on, Jade.
470
00:31:04,153 --> 00:31:05,383
I'll wait in the car for you.
471
00:31:14,213 --> 00:31:16,453
It's over, Henry.
472
00:31:16,453 --> 00:31:18,373
Just like your
stupid puppet show.
473
00:31:32,883 --> 00:33:27,963
[NON-ENGLISH SPEECH]
474
00:34:52,769 --> 00:34:55,751
[MUSIC PLAYING]
475
00:35:34,043 --> 00:35:39,013
Look at you laying there.
476
00:35:39,013 --> 00:35:39,943
You're pathetic.
477
00:35:42,783 --> 00:35:45,123
You scare the kids.
478
00:35:45,123 --> 00:35:49,173
Yeah you're a loser, Henry.
479
00:35:49,173 --> 00:35:51,768
That's why you don't
win any awards.
480
00:35:59,253 --> 00:36:00,723
Face it.
481
00:36:00,723 --> 00:36:05,253
You should have died in
Norway like your father,
482
00:36:05,253 --> 00:36:09,940
but now, you're going
to die in Margate.
483
00:36:21,803 --> 00:36:22,913
What time is it?
484
00:36:22,913 --> 00:36:24,803
It's time to get up, Henry.
485
00:36:34,833 --> 00:36:37,713
[MUSIC PLAYING]
486
00:36:47,573 --> 00:36:49,103
All right, me darling.
487
00:36:49,103 --> 00:36:52,673
Let's get you going.
488
00:36:52,673 --> 00:36:56,728
Now you've been taking your
tablets because you know if you
489
00:36:56,728 --> 00:36:58,103
don't, you're
going to have to go
490
00:36:58,103 --> 00:36:59,453
and stay in the special house.
491
00:36:59,453 --> 00:37:01,883
We have to sign out
the knives, don't you
492
00:37:01,883 --> 00:37:04,363
if you want to make a sandwich.
493
00:37:04,363 --> 00:37:06,593
Yes.
494
00:37:06,593 --> 00:37:09,653
I've been taking my
medication, Doris.
495
00:37:09,653 --> 00:37:12,663
I'm very glad to
hear that, Henry.
496
00:37:12,663 --> 00:37:15,043
Now what have you got
on there me lover?
497
00:37:15,043 --> 00:37:17,473
Hey, hey, hey, come on.
498
00:37:17,473 --> 00:37:21,323
This-- this is for
your own safety.
499
00:37:21,323 --> 00:37:23,773
You know you're not
supposed to have any ties,
500
00:37:23,773 --> 00:37:25,273
no dressing gown coats.
501
00:37:29,163 --> 00:37:31,203
Don't want to end
up like your old pa.
502
00:37:43,093 --> 00:37:46,173
It was time you used
getting dressed anyways.
503
00:37:46,173 --> 00:37:48,713
Dirty Doris.
504
00:37:48,713 --> 00:37:49,513
What was that?
505
00:37:53,213 --> 00:37:54,713
He said goodbye, Doris.
506
00:37:57,573 --> 00:37:59,426
Right.
507
00:37:59,426 --> 00:38:01,093
I'll go and check the
rest of the place.
508
00:38:01,093 --> 00:38:01,963
Don't you move.
509
00:38:01,963 --> 00:38:02,863
I'll be right back.
510
00:38:06,103 --> 00:38:07,363
What's this doing here?
511
00:38:11,103 --> 00:38:12,483
I'll be taking this with me now.
512
00:38:24,675 --> 00:38:35,143
[BELL DINGS]
513
00:38:35,143 --> 00:38:36,203
Mr. White.
514
00:38:36,203 --> 00:38:37,333
DCI Hamilton.
515
00:38:37,333 --> 00:38:38,805
DCI Cross.
516
00:38:38,805 --> 00:38:40,513
May we come in and
have a word, please.
517
00:38:44,243 --> 00:38:45,933
Is this going to take long?
518
00:38:45,933 --> 00:38:46,733
Why?
519
00:38:46,733 --> 00:38:47,941
Have you got somewhere to be?
520
00:38:50,723 --> 00:38:52,283
Yeah, I do actually.
521
00:38:52,283 --> 00:38:56,273
I've got an interview about
a new TV show I'm making.
522
00:38:56,273 --> 00:38:58,523
Are you going with or
without your trousers?
523
00:39:03,968 --> 00:39:05,718
Is that the puppet
your dad used to use?
524
00:39:09,663 --> 00:39:11,613
Have you come about my puppet?
525
00:39:11,613 --> 00:39:17,993
No, we're not interested in
booking any children's parties.
526
00:39:17,993 --> 00:39:21,213
Brian McHugh, better known
as Professor Trueheart,
527
00:39:21,213 --> 00:39:22,013
has gone missing.
528
00:39:25,313 --> 00:39:27,833
Oh, I am sorry to hear that.
529
00:39:27,833 --> 00:39:31,553
His puppet's gone too.
530
00:39:31,553 --> 00:39:34,313
Well, no one would
want that thing.
531
00:39:34,313 --> 00:39:37,283
Least of all, me.
532
00:39:37,283 --> 00:39:39,613
I've got my own, haven't I?
533
00:39:39,613 --> 00:39:40,993
We heard you
had an altercation
534
00:39:40,993 --> 00:39:43,643
down at the Tom Thumb Theater.
535
00:39:43,643 --> 00:39:46,323
He stole my father's act.
536
00:39:46,323 --> 00:39:51,263
I was standing up for
what's mine and my father's.
537
00:39:51,263 --> 00:39:52,823
He killed himself, didn't he?
538
00:39:52,823 --> 00:39:54,270
Your father?
539
00:39:54,270 --> 00:39:55,853
Must have been
hard on you as a kid,
540
00:39:55,853 --> 00:39:57,270
but with your mom
leaving as well.
541
00:39:57,270 --> 00:39:58,763
Yeah, where'd she go?
542
00:39:58,763 --> 00:40:01,603
Well, you tell me.
543
00:40:01,603 --> 00:40:03,793
You seem to know a lot about me.
544
00:40:03,793 --> 00:40:06,563
Well, we know your mom went
missing, was never found.
545
00:40:06,563 --> 00:40:09,493
We also a group of young girls
in Norway around that area
546
00:40:09,493 --> 00:40:12,263
went missing right
about the same time,
547
00:40:12,263 --> 00:40:16,643
surely before your
dad took his own life.
548
00:40:16,643 --> 00:40:18,503
[NON-ENGLISH SPEECH]
549
00:41:15,843 --> 00:41:19,053
I don't like where
are you going with this.
550
00:41:19,053 --> 00:41:23,553
Those young girls had
nothing to do with my father.
551
00:41:23,553 --> 00:41:27,293
Just making conversation.
552
00:41:27,293 --> 00:41:29,243
So you know nothing
about Brian McHugh.
553
00:41:29,243 --> 00:41:32,423
The last time I saw him
was at the theater yesterday.
554
00:41:32,423 --> 00:41:35,033
Well, if you do think of
anything, give us a call.
555
00:41:40,523 --> 00:41:42,843
We'll show ourselves out.
556
00:41:42,843 --> 00:41:47,143
Oh, and good luck
with the TV show.
557
00:41:47,143 --> 00:41:48,838
Yeah, don't forget
your trousers.
558
00:42:01,268 --> 00:42:02,068
Fuck.
559
00:42:07,823 --> 00:42:10,223
We're sorry Mr. White,
but we're going to have
560
00:42:10,223 --> 00:42:11,770
to cancel your interview today.
561
00:42:11,770 --> 00:42:13,853
We don't think you're quite
right for this channel
562
00:42:13,853 --> 00:42:14,701
moving forward.
563
00:42:14,701 --> 00:42:15,743
We wish you all the best.
564
00:42:22,763 --> 00:42:32,077
[NON-ENGLISH SPEECH]
565
00:42:32,077 --> 00:42:38,445
[BELL DINGS]
566
00:42:38,445 --> 00:42:40,153
It's built for carol
singers, isn't it?
567
00:42:49,773 --> 00:42:51,633
You're right?
568
00:42:51,633 --> 00:42:53,433
Who are you?
569
00:42:53,433 --> 00:42:57,253
I can be whoever
you want me to be.
570
00:42:57,253 --> 00:42:58,573
I didn't call you.
571
00:42:58,573 --> 00:43:00,538
Well, someone did.
572
00:43:00,538 --> 00:43:02,038
I ain't leaving
till I've been paid.
573
00:43:16,783 --> 00:43:21,123
My father once brought a girl
like you back to our house.
574
00:43:21,123 --> 00:43:21,923
Oh, yeah.
575
00:43:32,898 --> 00:43:34,148
Would you like a cup of tea?
576
00:43:37,333 --> 00:43:39,053
Don't know the
first thing I'm asked?
577
00:43:39,053 --> 00:43:39,893
Go on then.
578
00:43:39,893 --> 00:43:40,943
Milk, no sugar.
579
00:43:40,943 --> 00:43:41,753
Sweet enough.
580
00:43:53,483 --> 00:43:56,663
What the fuck is this thing?
581
00:43:56,663 --> 00:43:57,503
That's Dr. White.
582
00:43:59,773 --> 00:44:00,573
What?
583
00:44:00,573 --> 00:44:02,973
I always get the weird ones.
584
00:44:02,973 --> 00:44:03,813
Why is he a doctor?
585
00:44:06,883 --> 00:44:10,403
He fixes things,
especially people.
586
00:44:13,493 --> 00:44:16,023
Well, I like what you've
done with the place.
587
00:44:16,023 --> 00:44:17,573
Makes a change in
the back of a car.
588
00:44:20,338 --> 00:44:29,833
[MUSIC PLAYING]
589
00:44:29,833 --> 00:44:32,023
Got any biscuits?
590
00:44:32,023 --> 00:44:34,753
No, sorry.
591
00:44:34,753 --> 00:44:37,523
I'm on a diet.
592
00:44:37,523 --> 00:44:40,803
The doctor said I've
got to cut back.
593
00:44:40,803 --> 00:44:43,353
A real doctor
or doctor puppet?
594
00:44:45,923 --> 00:44:48,233
Dr. White is a real doctor.
595
00:44:48,233 --> 00:44:50,183
Sorry if I hurt his feelings.
596
00:44:55,653 --> 00:44:57,483
Hey, could I record you?
597
00:44:57,483 --> 00:45:00,123
I don't do videos, mate.
598
00:45:00,123 --> 00:45:04,603
No, Dr. White and I are
putting together a new act.
599
00:45:04,603 --> 00:45:05,713
Act?
600
00:45:05,713 --> 00:45:07,463
Yeah.
601
00:45:07,463 --> 00:45:12,033
We're putting together a
pilot for a new TV show.
602
00:45:12,033 --> 00:45:17,253
Our last assistant left.
603
00:45:17,253 --> 00:45:21,553
Hey, would you like to be
the star of my new show?
604
00:45:21,553 --> 00:45:23,043
I'm-- I'm not sure.
605
00:45:23,043 --> 00:45:25,466
Yeah, let me show
you what Dr. White
606
00:45:25,466 --> 00:45:26,758
and I've been putting together.
607
00:45:33,923 --> 00:45:34,783
What is this?
608
00:45:49,726 --> 00:45:50,768
I'm leaving now, Henry.
609
00:46:00,383 --> 00:46:02,333
The fuck is wrong
with you, Henry?
610
00:46:02,333 --> 00:46:05,318
Don't talk to him, he
just pulls the sleigh.
611
00:46:09,563 --> 00:46:11,673
Jade, what's
taking you so long?
612
00:46:11,673 --> 00:46:12,473
[MUSIC PLAYING]
613
00:46:12,473 --> 00:46:15,893
[INAUDIBLE] have turned white.
614
00:46:15,893 --> 00:46:18,753
Santa is dropping bombs tonight.
615
00:46:18,753 --> 00:46:19,553
Jade.
616
00:46:19,553 --> 00:46:20,353
[MUSIC PLAYING]
617
00:46:20,353 --> 00:46:29,003
It's getting cold is the snow,
and I know you won't be home.
618
00:46:29,003 --> 00:46:34,093
I'm changing you
in fall out light.
619
00:46:34,093 --> 00:46:38,203
And I can see your
lips turning blue.
620
00:46:38,203 --> 00:46:39,198
I shouldn't--
621
00:46:39,198 --> 00:46:39,998
What the fuck?
622
00:46:42,993 --> 00:46:46,013
What the fuck, you
sick fucking bastard!
623
00:46:46,013 --> 00:46:46,853
Please, no.
624
00:46:46,853 --> 00:46:48,653
[CRYING], please.
625
00:46:48,653 --> 00:46:51,233
Get off me!
626
00:46:51,233 --> 00:46:54,173
Fucking bastard, let me go!
627
00:46:54,173 --> 00:46:57,963
He's got brain freeze.
628
00:46:57,963 --> 00:47:00,953
[LAUGHTER]
629
00:47:00,953 --> 00:47:12,283
[SCREAMING]
630
00:47:12,283 --> 00:47:13,083
[MUSIC PLAYING]
631
00:47:13,083 --> 00:47:16,855
They would be
pulling out of town.
632
00:47:16,855 --> 00:47:18,331
Starting [INAUDIBLE].
633
00:47:22,273 --> 00:47:31,464
My hunting rifle ordered here,
watching ash fall from the sky,
634
00:47:31,464 --> 00:47:32,264
Henry.
635
00:47:34,571 --> 00:47:35,371
[MUSIC PLAYING]
636
00:47:35,371 --> 00:47:39,083
None of the children
gone to hunt--
637
00:47:41,693 --> 00:47:44,543
Henry.
638
00:47:44,543 --> 00:47:46,163
This Pinocchio.
639
00:47:46,163 --> 00:47:47,993
Let me go, please.
640
00:47:47,993 --> 00:47:51,833
Thought he was a real boy.
641
00:47:51,833 --> 00:47:53,053
No!
642
00:47:53,053 --> 00:47:55,373
Dr. White, fix him.
643
00:47:58,283 --> 00:48:02,393
I got strings to hold me up.
644
00:48:02,393 --> 00:48:06,295
Pinocchio, he's waving at
you through the River Martis.
645
00:48:06,295 --> 00:48:08,320
[SINISTER LAUGHTER]
646
00:48:10,665 --> 00:48:12,263
Please let me go.
647
00:48:12,263 --> 00:48:14,084
[CRYING]
648
00:48:14,084 --> 00:48:16,773
[SCREAMING]
649
00:48:16,773 --> 00:48:17,573
No.
650
00:48:19,878 --> 00:48:20,678
No.
651
00:48:25,923 --> 00:48:28,803
The puppet show.
652
00:48:28,803 --> 00:48:31,065
[LAUGHTER]
653
00:48:33,983 --> 00:48:38,553
Oh, Oh, Franza,
what are you doing?
654
00:48:38,553 --> 00:48:41,073
Oh, I'm just hanging around.
655
00:48:41,073 --> 00:48:44,253
[LAUGHTER]
656
00:48:44,253 --> 00:48:48,153
I was stupid to think
that I could ever replace
657
00:48:48,153 --> 00:48:51,633
this sweet and talented Henry.
658
00:48:51,633 --> 00:48:58,073
Wolfe, he's got the best
act in the whole of Margate.
659
00:48:58,073 --> 00:49:00,971
[LAUGHTER]
660
00:49:08,863 --> 00:49:09,663
Oh, my God.
661
00:49:09,663 --> 00:49:10,653
Jesus.
662
00:49:10,653 --> 00:49:11,673
Oh, my God.
663
00:49:11,673 --> 00:49:12,933
Oh, my God.
664
00:49:12,933 --> 00:49:14,163
Oh, God.
665
00:49:14,163 --> 00:49:15,343
Oh, shit.
666
00:49:15,343 --> 00:49:17,133
Oh, oh, my God.
667
00:49:22,113 --> 00:49:24,603
I haven't been
taking my happy pills.
668
00:49:24,603 --> 00:49:27,369
[LAUGHTER]
669
00:49:29,683 --> 00:49:31,963
I didn't need a mouth.
670
00:49:31,963 --> 00:49:34,393
Consider yourself checked out.
671
00:49:41,263 --> 00:49:43,888
I wonder what
they're dreaming about.
672
00:49:57,203 --> 00:50:02,443
Henry, what are you doing.
673
00:50:02,443 --> 00:50:04,243
I'm sorry.
674
00:50:04,243 --> 00:50:06,073
I brought the puppet
with me again.
675
00:50:09,093 --> 00:50:10,623
We've been having fun.
676
00:50:14,193 --> 00:50:16,993
Henry, you're not
supposed to be here.
677
00:50:16,993 --> 00:50:18,543
You were right.
678
00:50:18,543 --> 00:50:23,733
There are some things I didn't
tell you about my father.
679
00:50:23,733 --> 00:50:27,663
He used to kill young girls.
680
00:50:27,663 --> 00:50:32,433
And then he'd make love to
their bodies in the snow.
681
00:50:32,433 --> 00:50:35,448
My mother found his trophies.
682
00:50:35,448 --> 00:50:46,253
[NON-ENGLISH SPEECH]
683
00:50:46,253 --> 00:50:48,173
That's why she had to die.
684
00:50:51,323 --> 00:50:53,003
He wasn't all bad, though.
685
00:50:53,003 --> 00:50:54,233
He dealt with those bullies.
686
00:51:04,783 --> 00:51:06,843
Just going to call for help.
687
00:51:06,843 --> 00:51:09,243
There's no help.
688
00:51:09,243 --> 00:51:11,163
Dr. White got rid of them all.
689
00:51:28,993 --> 00:51:32,078
Oh, I'm sorry,
we're out of time.
690
00:51:37,313 --> 00:51:39,833
Oh, that'll be our date.
691
00:51:39,833 --> 00:51:42,463
Let's put the awards out.
692
00:51:42,463 --> 00:51:43,768
You dirty old bugger.
693
00:51:50,259 --> 00:51:52,243
[DOOR CREAKING]
694
00:51:56,707 --> 00:52:02,163
[LAUGHTER]
695
00:52:02,163 --> 00:52:03,653
[CAT CALL]
696
00:52:03,653 --> 00:52:05,113
Fuck off.
697
00:52:05,113 --> 00:52:06,253
Right, darling.
698
00:52:06,253 --> 00:52:10,873
Want us to show you a
good time this Christmas?
699
00:52:10,873 --> 00:52:13,803
[JINGLE BELLS]
700
00:52:13,803 --> 00:52:16,762
Mate, did you hear that?
701
00:52:16,762 --> 00:52:19,257
[JINGLE BELLS]
702
00:52:31,748 --> 00:52:32,548
Guys.
703
00:52:32,548 --> 00:52:35,398
[GASPING]
704
00:52:35,398 --> 00:52:38,368
[JINGLE BELLS]
705
00:52:58,663 --> 00:53:01,393
[SCREAMS]
706
00:53:19,443 --> 00:53:22,713
So why did the
man want a divorce?
707
00:53:22,713 --> 00:53:25,233
Because his wife
was a total flake.
708
00:53:25,233 --> 00:53:26,983
[LAUGHTER]
709
00:53:26,983 --> 00:53:27,783
Thank you.
710
00:53:27,783 --> 00:53:29,643
Thank you.
711
00:53:29,643 --> 00:53:31,353
Tough crowd, Dr. White.
712
00:53:38,773 --> 00:53:41,603
Eloy, where are you?
713
00:53:41,603 --> 00:53:45,023
I told you to lock up.
714
00:53:45,023 --> 00:53:48,548
Franza, I told you you
didn't make the cut.
715
00:54:10,983 --> 00:54:15,553
I remember laying in bed as a
kid waiting for Santa to come.
716
00:54:15,553 --> 00:54:17,433
Oh, yes, Dr. White.
717
00:54:17,433 --> 00:54:21,093
Yes, then there was
always that awkward silence
718
00:54:21,093 --> 00:54:22,608
as he got dressed and left.
719
00:54:30,933 --> 00:54:34,763
They're still not
laughing, Henry.
720
00:54:34,763 --> 00:54:37,493
That's because you knocked
them dead, Dr. White.
721
00:54:37,493 --> 00:54:40,421
[MUSIC PLAYING]
722
00:54:51,673 --> 00:54:53,443
So what do you think.
723
00:54:57,463 --> 00:55:00,453
I have a great role for you.
724
00:55:00,453 --> 00:55:01,753
Can I use your bathroom?
725
00:55:01,753 --> 00:55:02,553
Sure.
726
00:55:02,553 --> 00:55:06,110
Me and Dr. White I'll
be waiting for you.
727
00:55:06,110 --> 00:55:07,443
Can't wait to get your feedback.
728
00:55:25,873 --> 00:55:28,423
What's taking you so long?
729
00:55:28,423 --> 00:55:30,883
Dr. White is worried about you.
730
00:55:30,883 --> 00:55:32,023
I'll be out in a sec.
731
00:55:35,413 --> 00:55:37,513
We're going to
make you a star.
732
00:55:37,513 --> 00:55:38,503
Stay away from me.
733
00:55:43,393 --> 00:55:47,083
This Christmas, everyone's
got to love puppets again.
734
00:56:07,439 --> 00:56:09,251
We come with a search wa--
735
00:56:16,078 --> 00:56:17,453
I think I just
killed a client.
736
00:56:20,093 --> 00:56:21,747
Bloody Christmas.
737
00:56:21,747 --> 00:56:23,563
[MUSIC PLAYING]
738
00:56:23,563 --> 00:56:31,683
Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo
doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo
739
00:56:31,683 --> 00:56:40,343
doo doo doo doo doo doo doo
doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo
740
00:56:40,343 --> 00:56:46,793
doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo
doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo
741
00:56:46,793 --> 00:56:56,983
[NON-ENGLISH SPEECH]
742
00:56:56,983 --> 00:56:59,803
How would you like
to make a snowman?
743
00:56:59,803 --> 00:57:02,563
Like Dr. White?
744
00:57:02,563 --> 00:57:04,963
No, I want to make
a normal snowman.
745
00:57:04,963 --> 00:57:07,973
Aha, normal
snowmen are boring.
746
00:57:07,973 --> 00:57:11,623
They just melt like
humans and let you down.
747
00:57:11,623 --> 00:57:13,573
Humans don't melt.
748
00:57:13,573 --> 00:57:15,823
They do if you put
them in a blast furnace,
749
00:57:15,823 --> 00:57:17,443
or pour acid on them.
750
00:57:17,443 --> 00:57:21,403
Why have you come
especially for me, Santa?
751
00:57:21,403 --> 00:57:25,003
I've been told you've
been feeling unwell,
752
00:57:25,003 --> 00:57:27,373
and your parents called
me up from North Pole
753
00:57:27,373 --> 00:57:30,403
to cheer you up.
754
00:57:30,403 --> 00:57:33,523
Well, I'm-- I'm
feeling a lot better now.
755
00:57:33,523 --> 00:57:36,493
I wouldn't want to hold
you up delivering presents.
756
00:57:36,493 --> 00:57:38,863
Oh, don't you
worry about them.
757
00:57:38,863 --> 00:57:43,293
Most of the other kids have
been naughty this year.
758
00:57:43,293 --> 00:57:48,023
I know a kid of your age who
was visited by Krampus instead.
759
00:57:48,023 --> 00:57:49,193
Krampus?
760
00:57:49,193 --> 00:57:53,543
However bad you might
feel this Christmas,
761
00:57:53,543 --> 00:57:58,403
it is nothing like being
visited by Krampus.
762
00:57:58,403 --> 00:58:02,873
Now this is a little
story me and my elves
763
00:58:02,873 --> 00:58:07,043
call Merry Krampus.
764
00:58:07,043 --> 00:58:16,618
And this, this is the last
toy Luke ever played with.
765
00:58:19,223 --> 00:58:20,023
Come on, Luke.
766
00:58:20,023 --> 00:58:21,393
Time for bed.
767
00:58:21,393 --> 00:58:23,810
You know it's your last day
of school before the Christmas
768
00:58:23,810 --> 00:58:25,123
holidays tomorrow.
769
00:58:25,123 --> 00:58:25,923
Come on.
770
00:58:31,603 --> 00:58:36,463
Will daddy you come and
visit us this Christmas?
771
00:58:36,463 --> 00:58:38,893
Or will he stay with
the new lady he likes?
772
00:58:42,303 --> 00:58:46,383
I guess I won't be getting into
the robot toy this Christmas.
773
00:58:46,383 --> 00:58:48,963
I'm sure daddy's going to
get you something really nice
774
00:58:48,963 --> 00:58:50,133
for Christmas.
775
00:58:50,133 --> 00:58:52,228
You know he loves you very much.
776
00:58:52,228 --> 00:58:53,028
And you?
777
00:58:58,213 --> 00:59:00,328
Like I said, he loves
you very, very much.
778
00:59:03,053 --> 00:59:04,613
Sweet dreams, OK?
779
00:59:09,882 --> 00:59:12,756
[PHONE RINGING]
780
00:59:16,123 --> 00:59:18,613
Hey, where are you?
781
00:59:18,613 --> 00:59:20,323
Nowhere.
782
00:59:20,323 --> 00:59:21,223
Well, hurry up.
783
00:59:21,223 --> 00:59:23,473
I have a surprise
waiting for you.
784
00:59:23,473 --> 00:59:24,883
I'm freezing my tits off.
785
00:59:24,883 --> 00:59:26,833
It's winter.
786
00:59:26,833 --> 00:59:27,633
Right bye.
787
00:59:41,025 --> 00:59:44,001
[MUSIC PLAYING]
788
00:59:52,929 --> 00:59:55,905
[SOBBING]
789
01:00:08,803 --> 01:00:11,233
So, Louise, how
are you getting on?
790
01:00:11,233 --> 01:00:15,683
I know Christmas can be a
particularly hard time of year.
791
01:00:15,683 --> 01:00:17,093
I'm OK.
792
01:00:17,093 --> 01:00:19,913
The antidepressants
are really helping.
793
01:00:19,913 --> 01:00:22,823
And you're not leaning
too much on the drink.
794
01:00:22,823 --> 01:00:26,213
Oh, God, no, that's just
like a bit of Christmas cheer.
795
01:00:28,733 --> 01:00:30,053
And how are the kids?
796
01:00:30,053 --> 01:00:31,433
The kids are fine.
797
01:00:31,433 --> 01:00:33,473
The kids are really good.
798
01:00:33,473 --> 01:00:36,113
So last day of school today
before the Christmas holidays.
799
01:00:36,113 --> 01:00:39,123
I think they're really excited.
800
01:00:39,123 --> 01:00:41,903
Anywhere from the dads?
801
01:00:41,903 --> 01:00:43,103
Nothing.
802
01:00:43,103 --> 01:00:46,263
Anything to get out of
paying child support.
803
01:00:46,263 --> 01:00:49,043
Now two of them have
walked out on me.
804
01:00:49,043 --> 01:00:52,343
OK, well, if you need
anything, you and the kids
805
01:00:52,343 --> 01:00:54,023
just give me a call, OK?
806
01:00:54,023 --> 01:00:54,893
Thank you.
807
01:01:08,153 --> 01:01:11,253
You are all right, Luke?
808
01:01:11,253 --> 01:01:13,293
I'm fine.
809
01:01:13,293 --> 01:01:14,113
I'm not hungry.
810
01:01:14,113 --> 01:01:16,893
I'm going to go to bed.
811
01:01:16,893 --> 01:01:20,365
Mom, are you going
to do anything?
812
01:01:20,365 --> 01:01:22,323
If he's not hungry,
what am I supposed to do?
813
01:01:22,323 --> 01:01:24,073
Force feed him like
he's on hunger strike?
814
01:01:24,073 --> 01:01:25,743
This isn't a prison.
815
01:01:25,743 --> 01:01:27,693
Prison food would
be better though.
816
01:01:27,693 --> 01:01:30,993
This is all we can
afford right now.
817
01:01:30,993 --> 01:01:32,433
Since you lost your job.
818
01:01:32,433 --> 01:01:34,803
Yes, Diana, since
I lost my job.
819
01:01:34,803 --> 01:01:37,053
Well, I can't wait to find
out what Christmas dinner
820
01:01:37,053 --> 01:01:38,703
is going to be like tomorrow.
821
01:01:38,703 --> 01:01:40,863
Some kids were
picking on Luke,
822
01:01:40,863 --> 01:01:43,773
and they said that it was his
fault that dad left like ours.
823
01:01:43,773 --> 01:01:45,546
But that's ridiculous.
824
01:01:45,546 --> 01:01:47,463
They also said that
Krampus is going to come
825
01:01:47,463 --> 01:01:49,173
visit us this Christmas.
826
01:01:49,173 --> 01:01:51,393
Krampus-- you've
got to stop listening
827
01:01:51,393 --> 01:01:54,266
to this stupid rubbish, OK?
828
01:01:54,266 --> 01:01:56,058
This house is too
depressing for Krampus.
829
01:02:22,320 --> 01:02:24,653
Did any of the neighbors
see you creep over the fence?
830
01:02:24,653 --> 01:02:27,113
No, I don't think so.
831
01:02:27,113 --> 01:02:28,523
Did he really live here?
832
01:02:28,523 --> 01:02:29,423
Yeah.
833
01:02:29,423 --> 01:02:31,048
Did the old man
who lived here really
834
01:02:31,048 --> 01:02:32,243
tell people he was Krampus?
835
01:02:32,243 --> 01:02:34,343
Yeah, he was like
that guy Wayne Gacy
836
01:02:34,343 --> 01:02:35,691
that dressed up as a clown.
837
01:02:35,691 --> 01:02:37,733
Why would any parent
want to invite the Krampus
838
01:02:37,733 --> 01:02:39,023
to their kid's party?
839
01:02:39,023 --> 01:02:41,063
To scare them if they've
been naughty maybe.
840
01:02:41,063 --> 01:02:42,143
Beats Cole.
841
01:02:42,143 --> 01:02:43,753
When did he die?
842
01:02:43,753 --> 01:02:46,253
They found him hanging dead
upstairs from a Christmas tree
843
01:02:46,253 --> 01:02:47,543
last year.
844
01:02:47,543 --> 01:02:49,555
I haven't been able
to sell her since.
845
01:02:49,555 --> 01:02:51,263
Apparently, you had
a book on pagan magic
846
01:02:51,263 --> 01:02:52,971
and was trying to
raise the real Krampus.
847
01:02:57,683 --> 01:03:00,203
[SCREAMS]
848
01:03:01,553 --> 01:03:02,993
That was so funny, Lily.
849
01:03:02,993 --> 01:03:05,753
You guys suck.
850
01:03:05,753 --> 01:03:07,553
I'm going to call
my parents on you.
851
01:03:07,553 --> 01:03:08,933
It was only a joke, Lily.
852
01:03:08,933 --> 01:03:10,883
Maybe we were
a bit mean, guys.
853
01:03:10,883 --> 01:03:12,503
You're such a sissy, Benjie.
854
01:03:12,503 --> 01:03:13,403
It's hilarious.
855
01:03:18,773 --> 01:03:19,943
Stupid boys.
856
01:03:24,403 --> 01:03:28,878
Really how stupid
do you think I am?
857
01:03:28,878 --> 01:03:30,628
Look what I found
in one of the drawers.
858
01:03:33,593 --> 01:03:37,163
Maybe that's the poem
he used to raise Krampus.
859
01:03:37,163 --> 01:03:38,973
Children, take
this into account.
860
01:03:38,973 --> 01:03:40,443
Have you been bad this year?
861
01:03:40,443 --> 01:03:42,293
Tonight's the night
that Krampus comes.
862
01:03:42,293 --> 01:03:43,883
Have you something to fear?
863
01:03:43,883 --> 01:03:45,383
If you're a good
child, you'll sleep
864
01:03:45,383 --> 01:03:47,093
well for he will pass you by.
865
01:03:47,093 --> 01:03:49,553
But if you are a naughty child,
he'll hang you out to dry.
866
01:03:49,553 --> 01:03:51,053
I think we should
get out of here.
867
01:03:51,053 --> 01:03:52,253
I think he's right, Craig.
868
01:03:52,253 --> 01:03:53,843
It's just starting to get fun.
869
01:03:53,843 --> 01:03:56,243
You two are such
girls like Lily.
870
01:03:56,243 --> 01:03:59,393
Then there comes a type of
death that Krampus offers too.
871
01:03:59,393 --> 01:04:02,303
Perhaps a strangulation or
a drowning would suit you.
872
01:04:02,303 --> 01:04:05,213
Alternatively, Krampus can
just take you straight to hell,
873
01:04:05,213 --> 01:04:08,048
and nothing will be left of
you, and nothing left to tell.
874
01:04:11,243 --> 01:04:12,043
What?
875
01:04:16,435 --> 01:04:19,853
[SCREAMS]
876
01:04:19,853 --> 01:04:22,663
What are you doing, Luke?
877
01:04:22,663 --> 01:04:24,943
Watching this video
about Krampus online.
878
01:04:24,943 --> 01:04:27,343
Did you know he drowns
and eats children
879
01:04:27,343 --> 01:04:30,453
after taking them to hell
in a basket on his back?
880
01:04:30,453 --> 01:04:31,483
And don't watch that.
881
01:04:31,483 --> 01:04:32,773
Come on, go to bed.
882
01:04:32,773 --> 01:04:34,063
We've been good this year.
883
01:04:34,063 --> 01:04:36,703
Santa is coming, not Krampus.
884
01:04:36,703 --> 01:04:37,933
Then why did dad leave?
885
01:04:48,213 --> 01:04:49,903
When are you
going to give it up.
886
01:04:49,903 --> 01:04:53,499
I'm really not falling
for it this time.
887
01:04:53,499 --> 01:04:58,593
[SCREAMS]
888
01:04:58,593 --> 01:05:00,003
Come on, Jonathan.
889
01:05:00,003 --> 01:05:02,673
Come back to bed.
890
01:05:02,673 --> 01:05:05,323
It's Christmas Eve.
891
01:05:05,323 --> 01:05:06,358
I want cheering up.
892
01:05:10,223 --> 01:05:13,573
This doesn't feel right.
893
01:05:13,573 --> 01:05:16,423
I should be with my kids.
894
01:05:16,423 --> 01:05:18,693
Only one of them yours.
895
01:05:18,693 --> 01:05:22,916
Odell get over it is
just one Christmas.
896
01:05:22,916 --> 01:05:25,583
Things will get better next year
when she gets pregnant with yet
897
01:05:25,583 --> 01:05:26,933
another bloke.
898
01:05:26,933 --> 01:05:29,063
I need some air.
899
01:05:29,063 --> 01:05:31,126
Don't take too long.
900
01:05:31,126 --> 01:05:33,293
You're really starting to
bring this Christmas down.
901
01:05:43,891 --> 01:05:46,453
No, daddy.
902
01:05:46,453 --> 01:05:52,033
Daddy, daddy not tonight.
903
01:05:52,033 --> 01:05:52,963
It's Christmas.
904
01:06:00,751 --> 01:06:01,551
No.
905
01:06:10,603 --> 01:06:11,743
Oh, God's sake.
906
01:06:15,093 --> 01:06:16,913
Oh, hi, Denise.
907
01:06:16,913 --> 01:06:20,183
It's Louise.
908
01:06:20,183 --> 01:06:24,863
I don't know if you
could possibly pop by.
909
01:06:24,863 --> 01:06:27,653
I'm just not really
feeling myself.
910
01:06:27,653 --> 01:06:30,408
I don't know if it's
the medication or--
911
01:06:30,408 --> 01:06:32,033
I've just been having
some weird dreams
912
01:06:32,033 --> 01:06:35,783
and the kids have been
saying some weird stuff,
913
01:06:35,783 --> 01:06:40,703
but yeah, give me a call
back or maybe pop by.
914
01:06:40,703 --> 01:06:41,783
Thanks.
915
01:06:41,783 --> 01:06:42,583
Bye.
916
01:07:04,788 --> 01:07:05,588
Hey, Louise.
917
01:07:08,026 --> 01:07:09,693
I know that I'm the
last person that you
918
01:07:09,693 --> 01:07:10,953
want to hear from right now.
919
01:07:13,563 --> 01:07:16,874
I really want to come round
tomorrow and see the kids.
920
01:07:16,874 --> 01:07:19,363
You have to understand that
this is killing me too.
921
01:07:23,313 --> 01:07:25,263
Don't think there's any
more guilt after this.
922
01:07:29,473 --> 01:07:32,443
Please, just pick up.
923
01:07:32,443 --> 01:07:33,243
Louise.
924
01:07:36,253 --> 01:07:37,053
Louise.
925
01:07:42,078 --> 01:07:42,878
Louise.
926
01:07:56,073 --> 01:07:57,453
Fuck it.
927
01:07:57,453 --> 01:07:59,103
Come around whether
you like it or not.
928
01:08:05,303 --> 01:08:07,373
I'll get more like a
fucking Krampus tonight.
929
01:08:14,433 --> 01:08:16,772
Oh, what's this?
930
01:08:16,772 --> 01:08:19,953
A naughty little note, Jonathan.
931
01:08:19,953 --> 01:08:21,258
I hope it's not dirty.
932
01:09:30,893 --> 01:09:32,873
You're frighten
the other children.
933
01:09:32,873 --> 01:09:35,093
Mom, I heard noises.
934
01:09:35,093 --> 01:09:36,038
Are the rats back?
935
01:09:39,203 --> 01:09:41,813
Are the rats back?
936
01:09:41,813 --> 01:09:44,768
I've never been so
insulted in my life.
937
01:09:56,953 --> 01:10:01,288
Andrew, is that you
playing with my robot toy?
938
01:10:31,453 --> 01:10:33,073
You made him leave.
939
01:10:35,653 --> 01:10:38,083
You ruined Christmas.
940
01:10:45,553 --> 01:10:49,183
Krampus is here, Luke.
941
01:10:49,183 --> 01:10:50,643
It's time to play.
942
01:10:58,003 --> 01:11:05,423
[LAUGHTER]
943
01:11:05,423 --> 01:11:06,563
Louise, it's Denise.
944
01:11:06,563 --> 01:11:09,083
Your door was open.
945
01:11:09,083 --> 01:11:09,923
I got your message.
946
01:11:13,133 --> 01:11:17,833
Louise, what have you done?
947
01:11:17,833 --> 01:11:19,853
He says their father
he's gone insane.
948
01:11:19,853 --> 01:11:22,133
He's killed the kids.
949
01:11:22,133 --> 01:11:27,533
He's telling the house,
you need to get help.
950
01:11:27,533 --> 01:11:28,523
Oh, God.
951
01:11:28,523 --> 01:11:29,963
OK, OK, don't--
952
01:11:29,963 --> 01:11:31,173
don't worry.
953
01:11:31,173 --> 01:11:31,973
Oh, God.
954
01:11:35,443 --> 01:11:36,243
Oh, God.
955
01:12:07,053 --> 01:12:08,553
You know what, I'm leaving.
956
01:12:08,553 --> 01:12:10,345
There's something not
quite right with you.
957
01:12:10,345 --> 01:12:11,403
You need-- you need help.
958
01:12:11,403 --> 01:12:13,323
You're not taking
them away from me.
959
01:12:16,383 --> 01:12:21,933
Krampus days are here
again, your kids will die,
960
01:12:21,933 --> 01:12:24,573
and the sky falling.
961
01:12:24,573 --> 01:12:25,753
Diana, Andrew.
962
01:12:25,753 --> 01:12:27,003
What have you done to them?
963
01:12:27,003 --> 01:12:28,923
They're just sleeping.
964
01:12:28,923 --> 01:12:30,333
I gave them some Rohypnol.
965
01:12:30,333 --> 01:12:31,893
You've drugged our children.
966
01:12:31,893 --> 01:12:33,133
What's the matter with you?
967
01:12:33,133 --> 01:12:33,933
I'm down.
968
01:12:33,933 --> 01:12:36,123
Just because you got
daddy-son's issues doesn't--
969
01:12:46,633 --> 01:12:51,330
He'll make you all disappear,
just like the others.
970
01:12:51,330 --> 01:13:07,743
[SCREAMS]
971
01:13:07,743 --> 01:13:12,583
Well, there goes another one.
972
01:13:12,583 --> 01:13:15,013
You know, none of
your relationships
973
01:13:15,013 --> 01:13:16,933
are going to work
out if you insist
974
01:13:16,933 --> 01:13:20,773
on stabbing them all to death.
975
01:13:20,773 --> 01:13:22,963
I think he was right.
976
01:13:22,963 --> 01:13:25,483
Maybe you should have
accepted that invitation
977
01:13:25,483 --> 01:13:29,233
for relationship
guidance counseling.
978
01:13:29,233 --> 01:13:32,923
Oh, daddy's going
to go and lie down.
979
01:13:32,923 --> 01:13:34,693
I can feel a cramp coming up.
980
01:13:56,883 --> 01:14:00,213
Look at our little darlings.
981
01:14:00,213 --> 01:14:04,953
Peaceful and ready
for Christmas Day.
982
01:14:04,953 --> 01:14:07,893
[LAUGHTER]
983
01:14:09,863 --> 01:14:12,693
I'm going back to hell now.
984
01:14:12,693 --> 01:14:16,967
I'll see you next Christmas.
985
01:14:16,967 --> 01:14:30,033
(SINGING) Silent night,
Holy night, all is calm,
986
01:14:30,033 --> 01:14:40,963
all is bright, sleep
in heavenly peace.
987
01:14:44,583 --> 01:14:47,753
I dare, more
sick and senseless
988
01:14:47,753 --> 01:14:51,303
this year than ever before.
989
01:14:51,303 --> 01:14:52,383
Cramping my style.
990
01:14:55,863 --> 01:14:59,733
I love it when the pretty ones
die so horribly, don't you?
991
01:15:10,363 --> 01:15:11,593
It wasn't me.
992
01:15:11,593 --> 01:15:13,083
Krampus did it.
993
01:15:13,083 --> 01:15:14,458
That's what they
all say, love.
994
01:15:17,233 --> 01:15:20,743
So have we got anything
come through on it yet?
995
01:15:20,743 --> 01:15:22,123
Yes, inspector.
996
01:15:22,123 --> 01:15:25,813
She was abused by her father,
she was being monitored
997
01:15:25,813 --> 01:15:27,373
after her other half
left because she
998
01:15:27,373 --> 01:15:30,313
was having a nervous breakdown,
and you never guess what--
999
01:15:30,313 --> 01:15:31,273
What?
1000
01:15:31,273 --> 01:15:34,713
The father was only a bloody
sicko Santa person hater.
1001
01:15:34,713 --> 01:15:36,883
Oh, great.
1002
01:15:36,883 --> 01:15:41,663
I can see this is going to
be one of those Christmases.
1003
01:15:41,663 --> 01:15:44,823
Right, I'll leave you to
clear the mess up here,
1004
01:15:44,823 --> 01:15:48,803
so at least I can try and get
back to my own kids, that's
1005
01:15:48,803 --> 01:15:50,963
assuming the missus
hasn't already cut them up
1006
01:15:50,963 --> 01:15:52,005
and put them in the oven.
1007
01:15:58,403 --> 01:16:00,460
Oh, Denise, what
are you doing here?
1008
01:16:00,460 --> 01:16:02,543
She's only going to get
herself bloody murdered,
1009
01:16:02,543 --> 01:16:03,343
isn't she?
1010
01:16:03,343 --> 01:16:04,313
You are?
1011
01:16:04,313 --> 01:16:05,843
Sliced up like bacon.
1012
01:16:05,843 --> 01:16:07,583
But I like Denise.
1013
01:16:07,583 --> 01:16:09,353
I like bacon.
1014
01:16:09,353 --> 01:16:10,973
I like bacon.
1015
01:16:10,973 --> 01:16:13,083
Check up with a frying pan on.
1016
01:16:13,083 --> 01:16:13,883
Why not?
1017
01:16:13,883 --> 01:16:15,033
Red or brown sauce?
1018
01:16:15,033 --> 01:16:15,833
Brown.
1019
01:16:15,833 --> 01:16:16,633
Perfect.
1020
01:16:23,573 --> 01:16:26,663
So it wasn't Krampus,
it was the mom.
1021
01:16:26,663 --> 01:16:31,573
Yeah, she was North Polar.
1022
01:16:31,573 --> 01:16:34,073
There are freaks out there who
actually think they're Santa,
1023
01:16:34,073 --> 01:16:36,153
you know.
1024
01:16:36,153 --> 01:16:38,863
I know, shocking, isn't it?
1025
01:16:38,863 --> 01:16:41,713
If Krampus doesn't get you,
your mother probably will.
1026
01:16:41,713 --> 01:16:44,653
God only knows what's worse.
1027
01:16:44,653 --> 01:16:47,383
What happened to the mom?
1028
01:16:47,383 --> 01:16:50,458
She joined those other
three in the nutters wing.
1029
01:16:55,483 --> 01:16:57,553
Do you like Christmas
carols, Peter?
1030
01:16:57,553 --> 01:17:00,543
I don't know that many.
1031
01:17:00,543 --> 01:17:02,653
Just as well.
1032
01:17:02,653 --> 01:17:05,323
Most of them are quite boring.
1033
01:17:05,323 --> 01:17:08,993
I know a few that
are rather good.
1034
01:17:08,993 --> 01:17:16,303
I know one choir who had
a very haunting song.
1035
01:17:16,303 --> 01:17:25,413
This here's a story I like to
call The 12 Kills of Christmas.
1036
01:17:25,413 --> 01:17:26,553
Don't you mean 12--
1037
01:17:26,553 --> 01:17:29,143
12 Days of Christmas?
1038
01:17:29,143 --> 01:17:29,943
Oh, no.
1039
01:17:34,893 --> 01:17:39,693
Singers that came to this
house never sang that song.
1040
01:17:45,843 --> 01:17:48,513
To be the guardian
of your incarnate son,
1041
01:17:48,513 --> 01:17:53,163
and husband of the
Blessed Virgin Mary.
1042
01:17:53,163 --> 01:17:56,883
Give us grace to follow him.
1043
01:17:56,883 --> 01:17:58,783
Nearly ready for
midnight mass, father.
1044
01:17:58,783 --> 01:17:59,583
Why?
1045
01:17:59,583 --> 01:18:00,723
Don't I sound very good?
1046
01:18:00,723 --> 01:18:02,556
Oh, no, no, you sound great.
1047
01:18:02,556 --> 01:18:04,098
Anyone would think
you were a priest.
1048
01:18:06,903 --> 01:18:07,953
Thank you, Cathy.
1049
01:18:07,953 --> 01:18:09,661
I'm just going to
clear out the office.
1050
01:18:12,913 --> 01:18:13,713
And faithful.
1051
01:18:19,343 --> 01:18:22,723
Can I help you young man?
1052
01:18:22,723 --> 01:18:25,993
I'm just looking around.
1053
01:18:25,993 --> 01:18:28,093
Does Father McShane
still work here?
1054
01:18:28,093 --> 01:18:32,683
No, he had to retire
suddenly due to his health.
1055
01:18:32,683 --> 01:18:35,863
Is he still
practicing the faith?
1056
01:18:35,863 --> 01:18:38,983
It's a complicated matter.
1057
01:18:38,983 --> 01:18:41,413
You know it's good practice
when in the Lord's house
1058
01:18:41,413 --> 01:18:44,173
to take your hood down.
1059
01:18:44,173 --> 01:18:46,063
Sorry.
1060
01:18:46,063 --> 01:18:48,763
It's been a long time
since I was here.
1061
01:18:48,763 --> 01:18:51,253
We're in a church.
1062
01:18:51,253 --> 01:18:52,513
You used to come here?
1063
01:18:52,513 --> 01:18:55,783
When I was younger, I
used to be in the choir.
1064
01:18:55,783 --> 01:18:57,433
Oh, I see.
1065
01:18:57,433 --> 01:19:00,208
I heard Father McShane's choirs
were the best for miles around.
1066
01:19:02,640 --> 01:19:03,973
I was friends with Dylan Gray.
1067
01:19:12,423 --> 01:19:16,493
Well, how can I help, uh--
1068
01:19:16,493 --> 01:19:17,443
Leo.
1069
01:19:17,443 --> 01:19:19,293
Leo Edwards.
1070
01:19:19,293 --> 01:19:20,643
How can I help, Leo?
1071
01:19:20,643 --> 01:19:23,803
Well, I was hoping I could
talk to Father McShane.
1072
01:19:23,803 --> 01:19:26,923
I'm sorry, he's
suffering from dementia.
1073
01:19:26,923 --> 01:19:30,103
He wouldn't even remember you.
1074
01:19:30,103 --> 01:19:30,903
That's a shame.
1075
01:19:35,073 --> 01:19:37,843
Is there anything
I can help with?
1076
01:19:37,843 --> 01:19:40,113
No, not really.
1077
01:19:40,113 --> 01:19:42,063
Nothing you or
God can do for me.
1078
01:19:59,723 --> 01:20:03,773
Cathy did you
leave this box here?
1079
01:20:06,913 --> 01:20:07,873
No.
1080
01:20:07,873 --> 01:20:11,643
Might be one of the lads from
this morning left it here.
1081
01:20:11,643 --> 01:20:13,983
Hang on.
1082
01:20:13,983 --> 01:20:16,173
I know that box.
1083
01:20:16,173 --> 01:20:18,873
This used to belong to Father
McShane where did you find it?
1084
01:20:18,873 --> 01:20:21,973
It was just left there.
1085
01:20:21,973 --> 01:20:23,483
Oh.
1086
01:20:23,483 --> 01:20:26,093
Do you know anything
about Dylan Gray.
1087
01:20:26,093 --> 01:20:27,743
Dylan Gray, yes.
1088
01:20:27,743 --> 01:20:31,523
He was in terrible trouble that
boy with drugs and stealing.
1089
01:20:31,523 --> 01:20:33,383
Father McShane
tried to help him,
1090
01:20:33,383 --> 01:20:38,243
but he was honored by
the devil that boy, yeah.
1091
01:20:38,243 --> 01:20:43,373
Between you and me, I think he
ran away and killed himself.
1092
01:20:43,373 --> 01:20:45,983
Yeah, it broke Father
McShane's heart.
1093
01:20:45,983 --> 01:20:48,383
He really messed him up.
1094
01:20:48,383 --> 01:20:51,593
Anyway, I best go replace
all the short candlesticks.
1095
01:21:05,453 --> 01:21:07,003
Hello, Maria McShane.
1096
01:21:07,003 --> 01:21:07,803
Hi, Maria.
1097
01:21:07,803 --> 01:21:10,518
It's Father Abel
How's your father?
1098
01:21:13,023 --> 01:21:14,088
Yeah, he's OK.
1099
01:21:19,576 --> 01:21:20,993
It's largely the
same, but I think
1100
01:21:20,993 --> 01:21:24,663
it's going to take a Christmas
miracle for any change.
1101
01:21:24,663 --> 01:21:27,813
I haven't seen you coming
around to church much of late.
1102
01:21:27,813 --> 01:21:28,643
I know.
1103
01:21:28,643 --> 01:21:32,273
It's just what-- with
everything and father.
1104
01:21:32,273 --> 01:21:34,733
Oh, no I understand.
1105
01:21:34,733 --> 01:21:37,573
If you ever need
anyone to talk to--
1106
01:21:37,573 --> 01:21:38,373
Thank you.
1107
01:21:38,373 --> 01:21:41,813
That's very kind
of but I think I've
1108
01:21:41,813 --> 01:21:44,123
lost my faith a little bit.
1109
01:21:44,123 --> 01:21:48,293
Well, if you can't talk
to God, please talk to me.
1110
01:21:51,083 --> 01:21:54,773
Look, I've rung up because I
found this old music box I was
1111
01:21:54,773 --> 01:21:57,923
told belonged to your father.
1112
01:21:57,923 --> 01:21:59,003
Music box.
1113
01:21:59,003 --> 01:22:01,193
Yes, so I wondered if
you might like it back.
1114
01:22:09,913 --> 01:22:10,713
It's got a tune.
1115
01:22:10,713 --> 01:22:12,393
All things bright and beautiful.
1116
01:22:14,913 --> 01:22:16,773
No, that's fine.
1117
01:22:16,773 --> 01:22:18,333
Please just get rid
of it or give it
1118
01:22:18,333 --> 01:22:20,043
to a charity shop or something.
1119
01:22:42,193 --> 01:22:45,133
Here we are farther.
1120
01:22:45,133 --> 01:22:47,443
Back here another year.
1121
01:22:47,443 --> 01:22:48,613
Why did she do?
1122
01:22:48,613 --> 01:22:49,843
Why did she leave?
1123
01:22:49,843 --> 01:22:51,433
Because the
devil got into her.
1124
01:22:51,433 --> 01:22:53,803
It wasn't her fault.
The devil makes
1125
01:22:53,803 --> 01:22:55,790
us all do bad things at times.
1126
01:22:55,790 --> 01:22:57,373
Did the devil get
her from that box?
1127
01:22:57,373 --> 01:22:59,863
Yes, he did, and that's why
you must never tell anyone
1128
01:22:59,863 --> 01:23:03,073
about it or open it because if
the devil's friends get to find
1129
01:23:03,073 --> 01:23:05,443
out about the box,
they'll release
1130
01:23:05,443 --> 01:23:08,293
the devil for you and
for me and for everyone,
1131
01:23:08,293 --> 01:23:10,153
and then we'll all disappear.
1132
01:23:10,153 --> 01:23:12,553
Like that boy he was never
there that night, Murray.
1133
01:23:12,553 --> 01:23:13,963
What'd I tell you.
1134
01:23:13,963 --> 01:23:14,963
He was a ghost.
1135
01:23:14,963 --> 01:23:17,323
And all must find out the
church is haunted otherwise,
1136
01:23:17,323 --> 01:23:19,273
everyone would be too
afraid to come here,
1137
01:23:19,273 --> 01:23:21,763
and that will make God sad.
1138
01:23:21,763 --> 01:23:23,593
That's right, my darling.
1139
01:23:26,863 --> 01:23:28,843
The church's ghost
must always stay out
1140
01:23:28,843 --> 01:23:33,829
of sight, like the
bodies in these graves.
1141
01:23:33,829 --> 01:23:36,817
[MUSIC PLAYING]
1142
01:24:18,153 --> 01:24:19,993
Come on.
1143
01:24:19,993 --> 01:24:20,793
That's it.
1144
01:24:26,273 --> 01:24:27,073
Try and relax.
1145
01:24:30,323 --> 01:24:31,843
I'll see you in the morning.
1146
01:24:31,843 --> 01:24:33,163
Won't you stop saying it?
1147
01:24:45,863 --> 01:24:48,293
I visited Mother's
grave today with Father.
1148
01:24:48,293 --> 01:24:50,178
It must have been
freezing up there.
1149
01:24:50,178 --> 01:24:50,978
It was.
1150
01:24:53,573 --> 01:24:56,723
Not as cold as the year my
mother passed away there.
1151
01:24:56,723 --> 01:24:58,043
My last white Christmas.
1152
01:25:02,598 --> 01:25:03,398
Are you OK?
1153
01:25:05,823 --> 01:25:06,623
Yeah.
1154
01:25:10,493 --> 01:25:11,663
You don't look OK.
1155
01:25:15,443 --> 01:25:19,063
Maria, what's up.
1156
01:25:19,063 --> 01:25:20,799
Nothing.
1157
01:25:20,799 --> 01:25:21,785
Come here.
1158
01:25:28,693 --> 01:25:30,583
It's nearly our
two-year anniversary.
1159
01:25:37,168 --> 01:25:38,543
I'm just not
sure about leaving
1160
01:25:38,543 --> 01:25:40,863
father here for Christmas Eve.
1161
01:25:40,863 --> 01:25:44,733
Maria, you do
too much for him.
1162
01:25:44,733 --> 01:25:49,493
The nurse can look after
him tomorrow for one night.
1163
01:25:49,493 --> 01:25:54,423
Besides, he probably doesn't
even know who you are anymore.
1164
01:25:54,423 --> 01:25:55,333
I'm sorry.
1165
01:25:55,333 --> 01:25:56,963
Sorry about that.
1166
01:25:56,963 --> 01:25:59,933
That was harsh.
1167
01:25:59,933 --> 01:26:02,463
No, it's OK.
1168
01:26:05,233 --> 01:26:09,113
Sorry, it's just been
a really weird day.
1169
01:26:09,113 --> 01:26:10,721
I've had a lot of news.
1170
01:26:10,721 --> 01:26:12,013
Anything I should know about?
1171
01:26:21,063 --> 01:26:21,863
Really?
1172
01:26:25,833 --> 01:26:28,348
Oh, my God.
1173
01:26:28,348 --> 01:26:29,148
That's amazing.
1174
01:26:32,243 --> 01:26:35,093
Well, what is it?
1175
01:26:35,093 --> 01:26:37,733
Babe, you're not happy about it.
1176
01:26:37,733 --> 01:26:40,023
No, I am.
1177
01:26:40,023 --> 01:26:40,823
I am.
1178
01:26:40,823 --> 01:26:44,003
It's just we're
having our own child,
1179
01:26:44,003 --> 01:26:47,463
I think I have to
tell you something.
1180
01:26:47,463 --> 01:26:49,533
What?
1181
01:26:49,533 --> 01:26:51,953
Yeah, you can tell me anything.
1182
01:26:51,953 --> 01:26:57,233
Well, before my mother
killed herself that Christmas,
1183
01:26:57,233 --> 01:26:59,933
I heard her and father fighting.
1184
01:26:59,933 --> 01:27:04,313
Apparently, she found something
in a music box he had.
1185
01:27:04,313 --> 01:27:06,173
A music box?
1186
01:27:06,173 --> 01:27:08,483
Yeah.
1187
01:27:08,483 --> 01:27:09,753
I don't know what it was.
1188
01:27:09,753 --> 01:27:15,335
All I know is-- is that he
had a fight with a student.
1189
01:27:15,335 --> 01:27:17,543
Do you think anyone's
going to believe you over me,
1190
01:27:17,543 --> 01:27:19,583
a man of God over
some drugged up
1191
01:27:19,583 --> 01:27:21,653
little junkie from the streets?
1192
01:27:21,653 --> 01:27:24,833
His name was Dylan.
1193
01:27:24,833 --> 01:27:26,843
Dad said that he came
back a drug addict
1194
01:27:26,843 --> 01:27:28,446
and tried to
blackmail him, but--
1195
01:27:28,446 --> 01:27:30,863
You think he might have been
involved with his students?
1196
01:27:30,863 --> 01:27:33,533
I don't know.
1197
01:27:33,533 --> 01:27:35,813
I mean, it's-- it's a
terrible thing to think about,
1198
01:27:35,813 --> 01:27:41,093
but this rumor is from his
old church saying that he was
1199
01:27:41,093 --> 01:27:43,523
charged with something,
but charges were
1200
01:27:43,523 --> 01:27:46,373
dropped because he's senile.
1201
01:27:46,373 --> 01:27:47,573
Jesus Christ.
1202
01:27:51,953 --> 01:27:53,183
But it's just a rumor.
1203
01:27:55,973 --> 01:27:59,033
Your dad wouldn't
do that, right?
1204
01:28:07,193 --> 01:28:11,753
(VOICEOVER) All things
bright and beautiful,
1205
01:28:11,753 --> 01:28:19,565
all creatures great and small,
all things wise and wonderful
1206
01:28:19,565 --> 01:28:25,831
[CRYING]
1207
01:28:25,831 --> 01:28:26,723
I'll go.
1208
01:28:26,723 --> 01:28:27,523
No, Maria--
1209
01:28:27,523 --> 01:28:30,313
No, you stay.
1210
01:28:30,313 --> 01:28:33,073
Maria, wait.
1211
01:28:33,073 --> 01:28:36,543
I think it's time you start
getting some extra help for him
1212
01:28:36,543 --> 01:28:39,703
after Christmas.
1213
01:28:39,703 --> 01:28:40,513
Seriously.
1214
01:28:46,753 --> 01:28:48,223
Oh, come on, father.
1215
01:28:48,223 --> 01:28:50,303
What are you doing down there.
1216
01:28:50,303 --> 01:28:52,303
You know you can't walk.
1217
01:28:52,303 --> 01:28:55,723
They come for me in the dark.
1218
01:28:55,723 --> 01:28:58,273
They plead with Jesus.
1219
01:28:58,273 --> 01:29:01,564
Nobody's here.
1220
01:29:01,564 --> 01:29:06,373
It was just a nightmare, OK?
1221
01:29:06,373 --> 01:29:10,918
May God mercy on our souls.
1222
01:29:22,803 --> 01:29:27,308
Maria, now what have I told you
about playing in the basement.
1223
01:29:27,308 --> 01:29:29,183
Not to come down here
as it's full of ghosts.
1224
01:29:29,183 --> 01:29:30,743
Exactly.
1225
01:29:30,743 --> 01:29:32,873
Wouldn't the ghosts
be in the graveyard?
1226
01:29:32,873 --> 01:29:35,873
Not all souls are
asleep out there.
1227
01:29:35,873 --> 01:29:37,673
What's that?
- It's Saint Christopher.
1228
01:29:37,673 --> 01:29:39,298
I think it belonged
to that Dillon boy.
1229
01:29:39,298 --> 01:29:40,373
Give it to me.
1230
01:29:40,373 --> 01:29:42,443
I'll pass it on to the police.
1231
01:29:42,443 --> 01:29:44,933
Now go on upstairs and carry
on cleaning up the silver.
1232
01:29:44,933 --> 01:29:45,733
Sorry, Father.
1233
01:30:01,033 --> 01:30:02,923
Kurt, what are you doing?
1234
01:30:02,923 --> 01:30:04,973
Look what I found.
1235
01:30:04,973 --> 01:30:08,933
Come on, it's the
best time of the year.
1236
01:30:08,933 --> 01:30:15,143
And you and me can
have a little baby.
1237
01:30:15,143 --> 01:30:17,783
What could spoil this Christmas?
1238
01:31:40,451 --> 01:31:43,226
[GASPING]
1239
01:32:03,953 --> 01:32:07,153
I'm just off now, Father.
1240
01:32:07,153 --> 01:32:25,008
OK Kathy I'll see
you tomorrow Cathy.
1241
01:32:37,003 --> 01:32:39,673
Hello.
1242
01:32:39,673 --> 01:32:42,663
Who's there?
1243
01:32:42,663 --> 01:32:43,653
I'll call the police.
1244
01:32:51,233 --> 01:32:52,253
Who the fuck are you?
1245
01:32:54,763 --> 01:33:11,893
[GROANING]
1246
01:33:11,893 --> 01:33:12,831
So he's been fed.
1247
01:33:12,831 --> 01:33:14,623
He just needs to be
helped to bed at night.
1248
01:33:14,623 --> 01:33:15,933
OK, no worries--
1249
01:33:15,933 --> 01:33:18,173
Don't let them stop singing.
1250
01:33:18,173 --> 01:33:20,033
Just ignore that,
it's the only thing he
1251
01:33:20,033 --> 01:33:22,783
says since he's had the stroke.
1252
01:33:22,783 --> 01:33:23,893
Of course.
1253
01:33:23,893 --> 01:33:26,330
Now you guys have a
lovely Christmas Eve.
1254
01:33:26,330 --> 01:33:28,663
We're going to have a great
time, aren't you Mr McShane?
1255
01:33:28,663 --> 01:33:30,493
Come on we're going to be late.
- OK.
1256
01:33:30,493 --> 01:33:31,753
Thank you.
- Bye.
1257
01:33:31,753 --> 01:33:32,773
Thank you.
Bye.
1258
01:33:44,403 --> 01:33:47,303
Now you're going to be a good
boy, aren't you, Mr. McShane?
1259
01:33:47,303 --> 01:33:49,053
I don't want no shitting
on Christmas Eve,
1260
01:33:49,053 --> 01:33:49,883
do you understand?
1261
01:33:49,883 --> 01:33:51,273
Don't let them
don't stop singing.
1262
01:33:51,273 --> 01:33:52,143
Yeah, yeah.
1263
01:33:52,143 --> 01:33:53,943
That's all you say I know.
1264
01:33:53,943 --> 01:33:56,425
The choir's grown up
now, they're all gone.
1265
01:33:56,425 --> 01:33:58,453
[KNOCKING]
1266
01:33:58,453 --> 01:33:59,253
Go-- away.
1267
01:33:59,253 --> 01:34:01,603
(SINGING) Jingle bell, jingle--
1268
01:34:01,603 --> 01:34:02,713
I said go away.
1269
01:34:02,713 --> 01:34:07,083
What part of I don't like
Christmas don't you understand?
1270
01:34:07,083 --> 01:34:07,883
That did it.
1271
01:34:11,863 --> 01:34:13,735
Hey, They've gone.
1272
01:34:13,735 --> 01:34:15,193
Mike can you hurry
up and get here.
1273
01:34:15,193 --> 01:34:17,818
I don't want to spend Christmas
alone with this creepy old guy.
1274
01:35:03,808 --> 01:35:05,123
Are you in this?
1275
01:35:12,548 --> 01:35:14,363
If they finally come
back and check on him?
1276
01:35:14,363 --> 01:35:15,623
They won't.
1277
01:35:15,623 --> 01:35:17,603
Look, the daughters
probably asked
1278
01:35:17,603 --> 01:35:21,183
Santa to kill him off just
so she can inherit the house.
1279
01:35:21,183 --> 01:35:23,213
I just-- I can't do
this with Father Teddy.
1280
01:35:23,213 --> 01:35:24,755
Can we wheel him
into the other room?
1281
01:35:28,103 --> 01:35:30,293
See no evil.
1282
01:35:30,293 --> 01:35:31,883
Happy now?
1283
01:35:31,883 --> 01:35:33,603
It's like a demented budgie.
1284
01:35:33,603 --> 01:35:34,853
Don't let them stop singing.
1285
01:35:34,853 --> 01:35:35,723
Shut up.
1286
01:35:47,921 --> 01:35:50,883
[KNOCKING]
1287
01:35:50,883 --> 01:35:51,693
Oh, oh--
1288
01:35:51,693 --> 01:35:52,493
Really?
1289
01:35:52,493 --> 01:35:57,413
(SINGING) 10 beautiful,
Oh creatures--
1290
01:35:57,413 --> 01:35:58,263
OK.
1291
01:35:58,263 --> 01:36:00,333
No, just leave him.
1292
01:36:00,333 --> 01:36:03,663
I can't do this with
songs of praise on coming.
1293
01:36:03,663 --> 01:36:08,875
Oh, tell them to sing come
we faithful or something.
1294
01:36:08,875 --> 01:36:10,083
Will be back in one minute.
1295
01:36:21,563 --> 01:36:23,948
Tell your God to stop
screwing with my night, OK?
1296
01:36:33,153 --> 01:36:36,123
There was no one there, so.
1297
01:36:45,123 --> 01:36:47,913
Your cries back, father.
1298
01:36:47,913 --> 01:36:49,533
Time for one last hymn.
1299
01:36:59,083 --> 01:37:00,943
What's wrong?
1300
01:37:00,943 --> 01:37:02,293
It's my dad.
1301
01:37:02,293 --> 01:37:04,483
He's come around.
1302
01:37:04,483 --> 01:37:07,723
What do you mean
he's come around?
1303
01:37:07,723 --> 01:37:11,773
Apparently, he's awake and
wants to make a confession.
1304
01:37:11,773 --> 01:37:13,003
What type of confession?
1305
01:37:16,133 --> 01:37:18,713
Please, this is nothing
to do with me, OK?
1306
01:37:18,713 --> 01:37:20,093
The daughter is on the way.
1307
01:37:20,093 --> 01:37:21,413
I'm innocent, please.
1308
01:37:21,413 --> 01:37:22,493
I haven't done anything.
1309
01:37:27,813 --> 01:37:31,243
What should we do about it?
1310
01:37:31,243 --> 01:37:34,659
[SCREAMS]
1311
01:37:48,813 --> 01:37:50,938
Father.
1312
01:37:50,938 --> 01:37:51,738
Father.
1313
01:37:58,533 --> 01:38:00,033
Where is he?
1314
01:38:00,033 --> 01:38:01,683
I don't know.
1315
01:38:01,683 --> 01:38:03,768
Where's the damn nurse?
1316
01:38:03,768 --> 01:38:04,568
My God.
1317
01:38:22,263 --> 01:38:25,239
[SCREAMS]
1318
01:38:53,303 --> 01:38:54,803
We found this
in the graveyard.
1319
01:39:16,593 --> 01:39:19,143
Who are you?
1320
01:39:19,143 --> 01:39:21,801
You know who we are.
1321
01:39:21,801 --> 01:39:23,208
We are fallen angels.
1322
01:39:29,343 --> 01:39:32,373
I don't know what you mean.
1323
01:39:32,373 --> 01:39:34,593
Is that what you
told your boyfriend?
1324
01:39:37,633 --> 01:39:40,648
The time has come for you
to look upon our faces.
1325
01:39:47,363 --> 01:39:50,003
This is one of the
ropes he used to wear,
1326
01:39:50,003 --> 01:39:52,553
well, before taking it off.
1327
01:39:52,553 --> 01:39:56,223
He dead rode Father McShane.
1328
01:39:56,223 --> 01:39:59,553
Don't let them stop singing.
1329
01:39:59,553 --> 01:40:04,183
We should kill her now,
then we can get on with daddy.
1330
01:40:04,183 --> 01:40:05,313
He's never--
1331
01:40:05,313 --> 01:40:06,453
Shush.
1332
01:40:06,453 --> 01:40:08,583
You're just one
more lie to cover up
1333
01:40:08,583 --> 01:40:12,103
for his crimes like the songs.
1334
01:40:12,103 --> 01:40:15,813
Didn't-- I didn't know.
1335
01:40:15,813 --> 01:40:18,393
Christian saw what happened
that night in the church
1336
01:40:18,393 --> 01:40:20,733
after choir practice.
1337
01:40:20,733 --> 01:40:22,293
He was late to leave.
1338
01:40:22,293 --> 01:40:24,873
He saw you see it all.
1339
01:40:24,873 --> 01:40:27,093
Things on my mind of you.
1340
01:40:27,093 --> 01:40:31,593
I am a man of God, and
he speaks through me.
1341
01:40:31,593 --> 01:40:34,023
You must never mention
what happened here tonight.
1342
01:40:34,023 --> 01:40:35,673
That boy had the devil in him.
1343
01:40:35,673 --> 01:40:38,523
Your father did
what he had to do.
1344
01:40:38,523 --> 01:40:41,433
Maybe the devil is gone now when
you hit him with that cross.
1345
01:40:41,433 --> 01:40:43,143
Maybe you knocked
the devil out of him.
1346
01:40:43,143 --> 01:40:45,618
I don't think we
can take that risk.
1347
01:40:45,618 --> 01:40:46,743
What are you going to do?
1348
01:40:46,743 --> 01:40:48,393
Nothing you need worry about.
1349
01:40:48,393 --> 01:40:51,093
Now go up to the altar, put
your hands over your ears
1350
01:40:51,093 --> 01:40:53,223
and pray as hard as you can.
1351
01:40:53,223 --> 01:40:55,098
Your father has a late
night song to prepare.
1352
01:40:58,993 --> 01:41:00,988
How your father told
you to say nothing.
1353
01:41:11,283 --> 01:41:13,113
Father is dealing
with the devil.
1354
01:41:13,113 --> 01:41:14,943
Father is dealing
with the devil.
1355
01:41:14,943 --> 01:41:17,793
Father is dealing
with the devil.
1356
01:41:17,793 --> 01:41:20,013
Father is dealing
with the devil.
1357
01:41:20,013 --> 01:41:22,203
Father is dealing
with the devil.
1358
01:41:22,203 --> 01:41:24,693
Father is dealing
with the devil.
1359
01:41:24,693 --> 01:41:27,423
Father is dealing
with the devil.
1360
01:41:27,423 --> 01:41:29,133
Father is dealing
with the devil.
1361
01:41:29,133 --> 01:41:31,263
Father is dealing
with the devil.
1362
01:41:31,263 --> 01:41:33,843
Father is dealing
with the devil.
1363
01:41:33,843 --> 01:41:36,123
Christian, you followed
your father in the graveyard
1364
01:41:36,123 --> 01:41:37,353
where he buried Dylan alive.
1365
01:41:53,131 --> 01:41:56,053
[LAUGHTER]
1366
01:42:34,853 --> 01:42:37,493
We're all too scared
to go to the police.
1367
01:42:37,493 --> 01:42:40,013
Dylan wasn't the only
kid to go missing.
1368
01:42:40,013 --> 01:43:04,345
God only knows how many are
buried in the graves out there
1369
01:43:04,345 --> 01:43:05,928
The boyfriend looks
awfully nervous.
1370
01:43:09,653 --> 01:43:11,363
His heart is beating too fast,
1371
01:43:11,363 --> 01:43:13,583
Well, we best
clean it out then.
1372
01:43:16,513 --> 01:43:18,613
You still got that
toilet cleaner, Joseph.
1373
01:43:23,973 --> 01:43:24,773
Don't.
1374
01:43:30,935 --> 01:43:33,881
[GROANING]
1375
01:43:35,363 --> 01:43:36,863
No, no.
1376
01:43:45,223 --> 01:43:49,035
And now for you.
1377
01:43:49,035 --> 01:43:50,968
Please.
1378
01:43:50,968 --> 01:43:51,843
I'm pregnant, please.
1379
01:44:00,093 --> 01:44:03,699
The evil ends with you.
1380
01:44:06,563 --> 01:44:09,458
[SCREAMING]
1381
01:44:29,343 --> 01:44:34,183
I'll be back in an hour, it's
in God's hands if you live.
1382
01:44:37,443 --> 01:44:39,498
There's no forgiveness
for either of us.
1383
01:44:49,317 --> 01:44:50,923
Don't let stop singing.
1384
01:45:00,883 --> 01:45:03,871
[MUSIC PLAYING]
1385
01:46:00,643 --> 01:46:03,631
[JINGLE BELLS]
1386
01:46:26,203 --> 01:46:27,133
It's all over now.
1387
01:46:31,403 --> 01:46:32,453
What's wrong?
1388
01:46:32,453 --> 01:46:35,933
You look like you've
seen the devil.
1389
01:46:35,933 --> 01:46:39,581
It's a Christmas miracle.
1390
01:46:39,581 --> 01:46:43,823
(SINGING) All things
bright and beautiful,
1391
01:46:43,823 --> 01:46:47,051
all creatures great and small.
1392
01:46:49,823 --> 01:46:54,743
All things wise and
wonderful, the Lord--
1393
01:46:54,743 --> 01:46:56,369
What's the matter?
1394
01:46:56,369 --> 01:46:58,238
Please touch your tongue.
1395
01:46:58,238 --> 01:47:02,993
(SINGING) Each little
flower that opens,
1396
01:47:02,993 --> 01:47:07,673
each little bird that sings.
1397
01:47:07,673 --> 01:47:17,633
He made the colored flowers,
he made their tiny wings.
1398
01:47:17,633 --> 01:47:26,453
All things bright and beautiful,
all creatures great and small.
1399
01:47:26,453 --> 01:47:34,113
All things wise and wonderful,
the Lord God made them all.
1400
01:47:40,723 --> 01:47:43,933
Hear no evil, speak no evil.
1401
01:47:47,573 --> 01:47:48,533
See no evil.
1402
01:47:59,269 --> 01:48:02,733
(SINGING) All things
bright and beautiful,
1403
01:48:02,733 --> 01:48:09,093
all creatures great and small,
all things wise and wonderful,
1404
01:48:09,093 --> 01:48:12,533
the Lord God made them all.
1405
01:48:12,533 --> 01:48:16,583
What do you think of that
lovely little story, Peter?
1406
01:48:16,583 --> 01:48:19,063
You like all the gory bits.
1407
01:48:19,063 --> 01:48:20,673
Aah
1408
01:48:20,673 --> 01:48:21,473
I know.
1409
01:48:21,473 --> 01:48:23,623
Hang on.
1410
01:48:23,623 --> 01:48:26,773
Do you want to hear a
story about a Santa?
1411
01:48:26,773 --> 01:48:28,453
A Santa like you?
1412
01:48:28,453 --> 01:48:30,203
Yes.
1413
01:48:30,203 --> 01:48:31,383
Exactly like me.
1414
01:48:31,383 --> 01:48:33,823
How did you know?
1415
01:48:33,823 --> 01:48:37,603
There was this man, put on a
Christmas outfit every year,
1416
01:48:37,603 --> 01:48:46,773
always tried to keep Christmas
magic, and his wife left him.
1417
01:48:46,773 --> 01:48:50,773
Emma, what are you doing?
1418
01:48:50,773 --> 01:48:53,450
I know this is a shit time of
year to do this to you, Tony.
1419
01:48:53,450 --> 01:48:54,658
What are you talking about?
1420
01:48:57,543 --> 01:49:00,893
I'm so sorry, Tony.
1421
01:49:00,893 --> 01:49:04,703
Mom, why do we have to
stay so late at grandma's?
1422
01:49:04,703 --> 01:49:06,953
Go unpack, Billy, you
ain't going nowhere.
1423
01:49:06,953 --> 01:49:08,753
Billy, don't listen to him.
1424
01:49:08,753 --> 01:49:10,193
Go downstairs and wait for me.
1425
01:49:14,263 --> 01:49:15,953
Do it.
1426
01:49:15,953 --> 01:49:18,155
Go downstairs.
1427
01:49:18,155 --> 01:49:19,113
We'll come and get you.
1428
01:49:23,643 --> 01:49:31,323
Please, Emma, it's Christmas.
1429
01:49:31,323 --> 01:49:34,413
We can work through this.
1430
01:49:34,413 --> 01:49:37,253
You can't fix this.
1431
01:49:37,253 --> 01:49:39,473
This hasn't been real
for a long time, Tony.
1432
01:49:39,473 --> 01:49:42,773
You know that.
1433
01:49:42,773 --> 01:49:44,386
We're bipolar.
1434
01:49:44,386 --> 01:49:46,428
Our marriage is about as
real as you being Santa.
1435
01:49:52,243 --> 01:49:54,118
She even tried to
take his kid too.
1436
01:49:58,173 --> 01:50:02,733
You can go, but you
will not take my son.
1437
01:50:06,593 --> 01:50:07,493
Watch me.
1438
01:50:12,283 --> 01:50:15,353
Mom, I can't
find my robot toy.
1439
01:50:15,353 --> 01:50:16,603
Billy, don't worry about it.
1440
01:50:16,603 --> 01:50:18,403
There isn't time.
1441
01:50:18,403 --> 01:50:20,563
Stone, Emma, please.
1442
01:50:20,563 --> 01:50:21,433
for fucks sake.
1443
01:50:21,433 --> 01:50:22,813
Where are my keys
1444
01:50:22,813 --> 01:50:27,593
I will not let you take my
son, not with that bastard.
1445
01:50:27,593 --> 01:50:28,933
Who was it.
1446
01:50:28,933 --> 01:50:31,123
Fine I'm putting on some weight.
1447
01:50:31,123 --> 01:50:32,083
Ridiculous.
1448
01:50:35,820 --> 01:50:36,903
But he wouldn't let her.
1449
01:50:41,623 --> 01:50:46,903
No one's going to take
my son away from me.
1450
01:50:46,903 --> 01:50:50,248
See, Billy, I told you
you weren't going nowhere.
1451
01:50:53,823 --> 01:50:55,983
We've always loved this
tune, ain't we Emma?
1452
01:50:59,273 --> 01:51:00,643
Your mother gave us that box.
1453
01:51:03,353 --> 01:51:04,538
She's next.
1454
01:51:12,253 --> 01:51:13,108
Christmas morning.
1455
01:51:16,103 --> 01:51:20,953
Time to deck the
halls with blood,
1456
01:51:20,953 --> 01:51:22,633
I even took his job away.
1457
01:51:22,633 --> 01:51:24,463
We're sorry, Tony,
we just feel you're
1458
01:51:24,463 --> 01:51:27,763
no longer right for Santa's
happy grotto Incorporated.
1459
01:51:27,763 --> 01:51:32,363
But on five years
running, Santa of the month.
1460
01:51:32,363 --> 01:51:35,453
Well, we only operate
for one month of the year.
1461
01:51:35,453 --> 01:51:37,883
You can't get rid of me.
1462
01:51:37,883 --> 01:51:39,563
Who would replace me?
1463
01:51:39,563 --> 01:51:41,933
Well, actually,
we've already asked
1464
01:51:41,933 --> 01:51:45,333
Richard to take your place.
1465
01:51:45,333 --> 01:51:47,283
Richard.
1466
01:51:47,283 --> 01:51:48,423
Richard.
1467
01:51:48,423 --> 01:51:50,013
Sorry, Tony.
1468
01:51:50,013 --> 01:51:53,903
There's a new Santa in town.
1469
01:51:53,903 --> 01:52:01,503
You cannot be serious, you
can't replace me with that.
1470
01:52:01,503 --> 01:52:05,253
The outfit doesn't even
fit, and he's never held
1471
01:52:05,253 --> 01:52:08,013
more than a grotto in cavern.
1472
01:52:08,013 --> 01:52:09,933
I'm sorry, Tony.
1473
01:52:09,933 --> 01:52:14,203
The decisions being made.
1474
01:52:14,203 --> 01:52:18,943
Well, you can
take away my grotto,
1475
01:52:18,943 --> 01:52:24,433
but you can't take my dignity.
1476
01:52:24,433 --> 01:52:35,603
I am going to take my act,
and my very large bulging sack
1477
01:52:35,603 --> 01:52:44,763
elsewhere, and I'll bet
you're all bloody communists.
1478
01:52:48,633 --> 01:52:51,243
Well, I don't think he's
going to be on my list.
1479
01:52:51,243 --> 01:52:56,763
In the end, the grief and seeing
all those children that weren't
1480
01:52:56,763 --> 01:53:08,353
his drove him and should we
say odd, so we got revenge,
1481
01:53:08,353 --> 01:53:10,543
and handed out festive treats.
1482
01:53:10,543 --> 01:53:13,141
Where are my cookies
from Santa, mommy?
1483
01:53:13,141 --> 01:53:15,433
You can't have them now,
darling, it spoil your meal.
1484
01:53:15,433 --> 01:53:17,173
But look.
1485
01:53:17,173 --> 01:53:19,843
There has already been one
reported fatality here today.
1486
01:53:19,843 --> 01:53:22,753
The police are desperately
seeking anyone who has visited
1487
01:53:22,753 --> 01:53:26,323
the grotto as they believe
that there is poisonous cookies
1488
01:53:26,323 --> 01:53:28,253
handed out by Santa.
1489
01:53:28,253 --> 01:53:29,053
Oh my God.
1490
01:53:29,053 --> 01:53:32,973
The Information right now
is he was a member of ISIS.
1491
01:53:32,973 --> 01:53:36,853
Mommy, you stole my cookies.
1492
01:53:36,853 --> 01:53:38,743
And this elf just came
out screaming at us,
1493
01:53:38,743 --> 01:53:40,003
my youngest is traumatized.
1494
01:53:40,003 --> 01:53:42,613
He was screaming out, stop.
1495
01:53:42,613 --> 01:53:44,953
I will be suing Happy
Santas Grotto, Incorporated.
1496
01:53:44,953 --> 01:53:47,271
This is just not good enough.
1497
01:53:47,271 --> 01:53:49,063
As you can see, we've
had a lot of trauma
1498
01:53:49,063 --> 01:53:50,083
tonight at the grotto.
1499
01:53:50,083 --> 01:53:51,643
We've had one girl
who won't stop
1500
01:53:51,643 --> 01:53:53,083
crying at the sight
of a reindeer,
1501
01:53:53,083 --> 01:53:55,123
and another who tried to
choke herself to death
1502
01:53:55,123 --> 01:53:56,383
with a Tamagotchi.
1503
01:53:56,383 --> 01:53:58,553
She corrected awful
kids on the street.
1504
01:53:58,553 --> 01:54:00,223
Oh, Santa.
1505
01:54:00,223 --> 01:54:01,783
You walking back
to the North Pole
1506
01:54:01,783 --> 01:54:04,408
because you're too fat for your
reindeer to pull your ass back.
1507
01:54:08,943 --> 01:54:10,233
Oh, well, done Leo.
1508
01:54:10,233 --> 01:54:12,083
Now you've pissed off Santa.
1509
01:54:12,083 --> 01:54:13,623
Oh, what's the matter?
1510
01:54:13,623 --> 01:54:14,793
Where's my present?
1511
01:54:14,793 --> 01:54:15,973
I'll leave it out, Leo.
1512
01:54:15,973 --> 01:54:16,773
Look at him.
1513
01:54:16,773 --> 01:54:18,693
He's obviously had
a bad Christmas.
1514
01:54:18,693 --> 01:54:20,743
So would I dressed
up like that.
1515
01:54:20,743 --> 01:54:23,043
Oh, I'm having a
bad Christmas too.
1516
01:54:23,043 --> 01:54:24,843
That's why I want my present.
1517
01:54:24,843 --> 01:54:28,153
You don't know nothing
about a bad Christmas, kid.
1518
01:54:28,153 --> 01:54:28,953
Just leave him.
1519
01:54:28,953 --> 01:54:30,423
He's been drinking.
1520
01:54:30,423 --> 01:54:31,713
Come on guys, let's go.
1521
01:54:31,713 --> 01:54:32,513
[MUSIC PLAYING]
1522
01:54:32,513 --> 01:54:34,953
Through the window, I can the--
1523
01:54:34,953 --> 01:54:36,213
What did you say?
1524
01:54:36,213 --> 01:54:42,433
No, I've something
in my sack for you.
1525
01:54:42,433 --> 01:54:44,163
I think he's had
some funny mince pies.
1526
01:54:44,163 --> 01:54:45,213
He's getting creepy.
1527
01:54:45,213 --> 01:54:46,503
Come on, let's go.
1528
01:54:46,503 --> 01:54:48,213
You being funny.
1529
01:54:48,213 --> 01:54:51,423
Not feeling very
jolly this Christmas.
1530
01:54:51,423 --> 01:54:52,533
Jesus Christ.
1531
01:54:52,533 --> 01:54:54,243
I'm not Jesus, I'm Santa.
1532
01:54:57,393 --> 01:54:58,743
Went round all the houses.
1533
01:55:01,893 --> 01:55:04,413
Oh, dad, what are you doing.
1534
01:55:04,413 --> 01:55:05,643
You just got us killed.
1535
01:55:05,643 --> 01:55:10,503
No dear, it's you not riding
your reindeer zombie right.
1536
01:55:10,503 --> 01:55:11,733
I'm riding it fine.
1537
01:55:11,733 --> 01:55:13,787
You need to stop dying
on exploding presents.
1538
01:55:13,787 --> 01:55:14,587
[MUSIC PLAYING]
1539
01:55:14,587 --> 01:55:19,843
Bring me too, we can fall
in love With Christmas
1540
01:55:19,843 --> 01:55:28,320
if we want to one by one
the family start rising.
1541
01:55:32,296 --> 01:55:33,273
It's Santa.
1542
01:55:33,273 --> 01:55:35,703
The real Santa is here.
1543
01:55:35,703 --> 01:55:36,903
There's no one there, Ben.
1544
01:55:36,903 --> 01:55:38,743
But I swear it was him.
1545
01:55:38,743 --> 01:55:40,513
He was real.
1546
01:55:40,513 --> 01:55:43,323
I think Josh scared you a
little bit too much earlier.
1547
01:55:43,323 --> 01:55:45,213
No one believes
me in this house.
1548
01:55:45,213 --> 01:55:47,183
You suck.
1549
01:55:47,183 --> 01:55:50,313
I hate you guys, Christmas.
1550
01:55:50,313 --> 01:55:51,483
Ben.
1551
01:55:51,483 --> 01:55:54,153
I'm going to go
play my video game.
1552
01:55:54,153 --> 01:55:55,653
And what about
the Christmas cake?
1553
01:55:55,653 --> 01:55:57,403
Christmas cake is
more likely to kill me
1554
01:55:57,403 --> 01:55:59,353
than to kill our elves.
1555
01:55:59,353 --> 01:56:00,153
Oh, thanks.
1556
01:56:03,203 --> 01:56:05,523
For a wonderful Christmas.
1557
01:56:05,523 --> 01:56:06,323
Killing families.
1558
01:56:10,073 --> 01:56:12,323
You've got some giant bits.
1559
01:56:12,323 --> 01:56:17,313
[SINISTER LAUGHTER]
1560
01:56:17,313 --> 01:56:20,378
You like Christmas games
where people get killed, kid.
1561
01:56:26,203 --> 01:56:29,458
How about Santa brings
you a real game this year?
1562
01:56:32,023 --> 01:56:33,583
And telling kids
stories to cover up
1563
01:56:33,583 --> 01:56:36,193
the real horrific
story he was carrying.
1564
01:56:36,193 --> 01:56:38,293
Hello, Benny boy.
1565
01:56:38,293 --> 01:56:40,663
Santa has come to
pay you a visit.
1566
01:56:44,733 --> 01:56:46,623
What happened to him?
1567
01:56:46,623 --> 01:56:50,473
Jeffrey Dahmer,
1568
01:56:50,473 --> 01:56:52,753
[LAUGHTER]
1569
01:56:56,163 --> 01:57:01,303
This is so funny, Where's
your finger to film?
1570
01:57:01,303 --> 01:57:04,273
It's-- it's a bit different
to Rudolph's great
1571
01:57:04,273 --> 01:57:06,013
Happy Christmas adventure.
1572
01:57:06,013 --> 01:57:09,583
Though I'd come round here,
and be like the three ghosts
1573
01:57:09,583 --> 01:57:12,223
of Christmas, all
rolled into one
1574
01:57:12,223 --> 01:57:18,503
and tell you three
great Christmas stories.
1575
01:57:18,503 --> 01:57:21,353
I got you a special copy.
1576
01:57:21,353 --> 01:57:22,153
Really.
1577
01:57:22,153 --> 01:57:25,543
My parents wouldn't
even let me watch TV.
1578
01:57:25,543 --> 01:57:28,313
No, don't worry about it.
1579
01:57:28,313 --> 01:57:30,553
I've sorted it all
out with your parents.
1580
01:57:30,553 --> 01:57:33,833
This film is banned
in 27 countries,
1581
01:57:33,833 --> 01:57:36,973
so hasn't got any rating.
1582
01:57:36,973 --> 01:57:42,193
This is the last
present of Luke Everard.
1583
01:57:44,883 --> 01:57:49,013
It's freaks out here, and
they sense it too, you know,
1584
01:57:49,013 --> 01:57:49,988
it's shocking.
1585
01:57:55,633 --> 01:58:03,933
I think I've cheered
you up enough parents
1586
01:58:03,933 --> 01:58:06,243
you're feeling better now.
1587
01:58:06,243 --> 01:58:07,413
You've got to help me.
1588
01:58:07,413 --> 01:58:09,603
The Santa broke into
our house, and then he
1589
01:58:09,603 --> 01:58:13,203
started telling me all these
crazy Christmas stories.
1590
01:58:13,203 --> 01:58:14,673
And he's got this huge--
1591
01:58:17,308 --> 01:58:23,893
You didn't ask the
bill payer's permission,
1592
01:58:23,893 --> 01:58:26,113
and now she's dead.
1593
01:58:26,113 --> 01:58:28,693
But that's still no excuse.
1594
01:58:31,573 --> 01:58:33,193
Does funny things
with the head when
1595
01:58:33,193 --> 01:58:35,563
a father loses their child.
1596
01:58:35,563 --> 01:58:37,346
Worse than any child's
new computer game.
1597
01:58:37,346 --> 01:58:39,013
You can kill as
many kids as you like,
1598
01:58:39,013 --> 01:58:40,738
and get rewarded
with extra bullets.
1599
01:58:40,738 --> 01:58:42,823
[LAUGHTER]
1600
01:58:42,823 --> 01:58:45,373
And worse than all the
gory toys in a world,
1601
01:58:45,373 --> 01:58:47,353
you can put him up
on a shelf with all
1602
01:58:47,353 --> 01:58:48,643
the others I bought you.
1603
01:58:53,333 --> 01:58:55,953
He even stopped
enjoying a carols.
1604
01:58:55,953 --> 01:58:57,903
Goulet singing.
1605
01:58:57,903 --> 01:58:59,823
I've ripped out a
vocal cords of people
1606
01:58:59,823 --> 01:59:01,118
who sang better than that.
1607
01:59:03,993 --> 01:59:06,003
Many of you put on
a Santa costume,
1608
01:59:06,003 --> 01:59:09,093
people think they can
take bloody liberties,
1609
01:59:09,093 --> 01:59:11,568
although the mince pies
are a bit of a bonus.
1610
01:59:27,283 --> 01:59:29,403
Delicious.
1611
01:59:29,403 --> 01:59:30,806
Don't worry, Ben.
1612
01:59:30,806 --> 01:59:32,223
Those, social
workers aren't going
1613
01:59:32,223 --> 01:59:36,033
to take you and the other
kids away ever again.
1614
01:59:36,033 --> 01:59:38,073
You're going to spend
Christmas Day with me.
1615
01:59:38,073 --> 01:59:41,013
[LAUGHTER]
1616
01:59:41,013 --> 01:59:44,423
And we are going to have
the best Christmas ever.
1617
01:59:47,513 --> 01:59:54,903
No justice for
fathers, you know.
1618
01:59:54,903 --> 01:59:57,673
Not even Father Christmas.
1619
01:59:57,673 --> 01:59:59,083
You could blame
a man for letting
1620
01:59:59,083 --> 02:00:01,123
himself go putting on
weight, stopping shaving,
1621
02:00:01,123 --> 02:00:03,583
and running away to a
desolate cold landscape
1622
02:00:03,583 --> 02:00:06,388
with thousands of made up
little creatures creating toys.
1623
02:00:11,113 --> 02:00:19,043
Toys his child we'll
never play with.
1624
02:00:23,613 --> 02:00:29,673
That is why I carry a
machete like this in my bag.
1625
02:00:29,673 --> 02:00:32,663
Peter, where are you?
1626
02:00:32,663 --> 02:00:38,243
You stay while I go
and sort your mom out.
1627
02:00:38,243 --> 02:00:40,523
While he was
finishing off my family,
1628
02:00:40,523 --> 02:00:42,818
I managed to escape
into the snow.
1629
02:00:48,093 --> 02:00:49,863
I wish people
would just accept
1630
02:00:49,863 --> 02:00:52,113
where they're going to die.
1631
02:00:52,113 --> 02:00:54,093
Christmas is hard
enough without them
1632
02:00:54,093 --> 02:00:55,848
fucking clinging on to life.
1633
02:01:03,163 --> 02:01:06,913
Peter, where are
you you little shit?
1634
02:01:12,233 --> 02:01:17,833
Peter, I've got a nice
little present for you,
1635
02:01:17,833 --> 02:01:22,603
Peter come on out.
1636
02:01:22,603 --> 02:01:25,453
I know you're here somewhere.
1637
02:01:25,453 --> 02:01:27,713
Peter.
1638
02:01:27,713 --> 02:01:28,513
Peter.
1639
02:01:35,603 --> 02:01:38,828
Kids these days, all
of them, little shits.
1640
02:01:58,303 --> 02:02:00,843
I know you're in there.
1641
02:02:00,843 --> 02:02:04,818
I'm going to skin you alive
like Peter fucking rabbit.
1642
02:02:19,423 --> 02:02:22,093
Jesus is going to
save you now kid.
1643
02:02:59,423 --> 02:03:03,123
[GASPING]
1644
02:03:03,123 --> 02:03:05,883
That's when I stabbed him
with the machete he dropped.
1645
02:03:29,113 --> 02:03:32,633
And that's the Christmas I
found out Santa is not real.
1646
02:03:32,633 --> 02:03:34,163
He's a mental psychopath.
1647
02:03:47,083 --> 02:03:53,233
Then I ended up here,
in this children's home.
1648
02:03:53,233 --> 02:03:55,213
Santa is coming for you.
1649
02:03:55,213 --> 02:03:56,923
Nearly Christmas time again.
1650
02:03:56,923 --> 02:03:58,303
Leave me alone.
1651
02:03:58,303 --> 02:03:59,953
He finished off
your family and now
1652
02:03:59,953 --> 02:04:01,453
he's going to finish off you.
1653
02:04:01,453 --> 02:04:02,363
Stop him.
1654
02:04:02,363 --> 02:04:04,883
He's going to skin you
alive like Peter rabbit.
1655
02:04:04,883 --> 02:04:05,683
Stop it.
1656
02:04:05,683 --> 02:04:09,853
On the 12th killer Christmas
Day Santa said to me,
1657
02:04:09,853 --> 02:04:12,683
a dead family in a fern tree.
1658
02:04:16,183 --> 02:04:19,173
Can you hear a sleigh
coming with all the dead kids.
1659
02:04:19,173 --> 02:04:20,863
Halt Harry, leave him alone.
1660
02:04:20,863 --> 02:04:21,913
Don't worry.
1661
02:04:21,913 --> 02:04:22,843
We're done anyway.
1662
02:04:22,843 --> 02:04:24,358
Yeah, little pussy.
1663
02:04:34,573 --> 02:04:37,243
Try and ignore them, Peter.
1664
02:04:37,243 --> 02:04:41,233
They aren't seeing their
families either this Christmas.
1665
02:04:41,233 --> 02:04:43,093
Their families were murdered.
1666
02:04:43,093 --> 02:04:44,893
At least your
family wanted you.
1667
02:04:44,893 --> 02:04:48,163
My crack addict mom would
rather be in prison.
1668
02:04:48,163 --> 02:04:51,973
Christmas can go fuck itself.
1669
02:04:51,973 --> 02:04:55,773
We never going to
escape Christmas, are we?
1670
02:05:17,318 --> 02:05:22,363
What the hell are you
doing you little creep?
1671
02:05:22,363 --> 02:05:23,378
You trying to scare me?
1672
02:05:27,288 --> 02:05:28,088
Holt?
1673
02:05:48,763 --> 02:05:51,493
You were always
nice to me, so--
1674
02:05:51,493 --> 02:05:53,303
and so let you live.
1675
02:05:53,303 --> 02:05:56,423
Think of it as my
Christmas present.
1676
02:06:08,883 --> 02:06:12,363
Yeah, might need it.
1677
02:06:12,363 --> 02:06:14,433
It is Christmas Day
tomorrow after all.
1678
02:06:19,463 --> 02:06:21,853
Have a Merry Christmas.
1679
02:06:21,853 --> 02:06:22,653
[MUSIC PLAYING]
1680
02:06:22,653 --> 02:06:27,773
The animals have turned white.
1681
02:06:27,773 --> 02:06:34,293
Santa is dropping bombs
tonight, it's getting cold,
1682
02:06:34,293 --> 02:06:40,973
here's the snow, and I
know you won't be home,
1683
02:06:40,973 --> 02:06:46,103
I'm changing you
in fall out light,
1684
02:06:46,103 --> 02:06:50,123
and I can see your
lips turning blue,
1685
02:06:50,123 --> 02:06:59,273
I shouldn't have fallen in
love with a homicidal Eskimo.
1686
02:06:59,273 --> 02:07:08,523
I see her bubble off the wall,
hanging down from a tree.
1687
02:07:08,523 --> 02:07:16,538
I see her bubble off the
wall, hung in a pagan dream.
1688
02:07:19,883 --> 02:07:27,323
The reindeer heads all looked
out they would be pulling out
1689
02:07:27,323 --> 02:07:36,703
of town, sat in this old leather
chair, my hunting rifle loaded
1690
02:07:36,703 --> 02:07:43,263
here, watching us
far from the sky,
1691
02:07:43,263 --> 02:07:47,293
we're three feet deep
in dust and bones.
1692
02:07:47,293 --> 02:07:56,453
None of the children gone to
war, I got to be coming home.
1693
02:07:56,453 --> 02:08:05,763
I see her bubble off the wall,
hanging out from a my tree.
1694
02:08:05,763 --> 02:08:13,663
I see a bubble off the
wall, hung in a pagan dream.
1695
02:08:17,283 --> 02:08:26,123
The misteletoe and your smiles,
dancing pretty in rubble,
1696
02:08:26,123 --> 02:08:33,101
the antlers that you like to
wear, before you cross yourself
1697
02:08:33,101 --> 02:08:35,259
and lift his head.
1698
02:08:35,259 --> 02:08:44,643
I see her bubble of the wall,
hanging down I'm from a tree.
1699
02:08:44,643 --> 02:08:52,245
I see her bubble off the
wall hung in the pagan dream.
1700
02:08:55,853 --> 02:09:04,643
I see her bubble off the wall,
hanging down from a tree,
1701
02:09:04,643 --> 02:09:14,183
I see her bubble off the
wall, hung in a pagan dream.
118394
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