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[BELL RINGS]
2
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PROFESSOR: Why do we have a damn bell?!
3
00:00:04,140 --> 00:00:05,967
This is a college!
4
00:00:05,980 --> 00:00:07,600
Sorry I'm late.
5
00:00:07,620 --> 00:00:10,770
The dean is getting his ass
kicked in the parking lot.
6
00:00:10,790 --> 00:00:14,460
It's so messed up.
Nobody is stopping to help.
7
00:00:14,480 --> 00:00:17,510
Yeesh. So this is old
Corpsey herself, huh?
8
00:00:17,530 --> 00:00:18,620
[SNIFFS] Ugh!
9
00:00:18,640 --> 00:00:20,340
What'd, they leave her out in the sun?
10
00:00:20,360 --> 00:00:21,680
- [GASPS]
- Aah!
11
00:00:21,700 --> 00:00:24,340
Oh, I didn't miss anything, did I?
12
00:00:24,360 --> 00:00:27,940
I was just trying to catch a little
catnap before class started.
13
00:00:27,960 --> 00:00:30,420
G-G-G-G-G-Going on is what?
14
00:00:30,440 --> 00:00:32,100
Hayley, this is our new lab partner.
15
00:00:32,120 --> 00:00:33,200
She's a SNAB.
16
00:00:33,220 --> 00:00:35,909
A Student of Notable Age or Background.
17
00:00:35,910 --> 00:00:37,580
And her name's Anus.
18
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Eunice.
19
00:00:39,520 --> 00:00:43,421
- [BELL RINGS]
- PROFESSOR: Yahh! Dammit!
20
00:00:43,440 --> 00:00:47,940
Wow. 98 years old, and
you're going back to college.
21
00:00:47,960 --> 00:00:50,540
You're never too old
to follow your dreams.
22
00:00:50,560 --> 00:00:52,980
I find that so inspiring.
23
00:00:53,000 --> 00:00:55,920
I'll tell you what I find inspiring.
24
00:00:55,950 --> 00:00:58,290
The student bodies.
25
00:00:58,310 --> 00:01:00,040
[WHISTLES]
26
00:01:00,070 --> 00:01:03,220
Sweet Georgia Brown.
27
00:01:03,240 --> 00:01:07,060
I happen to have an interest
in the fellas and the gals.
28
00:01:07,080 --> 00:01:10,020
Daaamn, old lady!
29
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[BEEPING]
30
00:01:13,460 --> 00:01:15,119
_
31
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- ♪ ♪
- _
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_
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Ooh, ooh, and another thing
about my new friend Eunice...
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00:01:28,480 --> 00:01:31,490
another thing is, she is so funny.
35
00:01:31,510 --> 00:01:33,350
Check out this hilarious picture of us
36
00:01:33,370 --> 00:01:35,170
pretending to hump
the tope-liary animals
37
00:01:35,190 --> 00:01:37,220
out front of the Women's Center.
38
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[ALL GASP]
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You didn't tell us she
was an old age person.
40
00:01:41,780 --> 00:01:44,330
Barf City, population no thank you.
41
00:01:44,350 --> 00:01:48,020
Now, Francine, I too was
once put off by old people,
42
00:01:48,040 --> 00:01:50,340
but then I had an adventure about them
43
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that changed my mind.
44
00:01:51,930 --> 00:01:53,250
I'm always having adventures
45
00:01:53,270 --> 00:01:55,450
and learning life-changing
lessons from them.
46
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This week, I'm converting our
mud room into a man cave.
47
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I wonder what I'll learn from that.
48
00:02:01,390 --> 00:02:05,030
Well, I say, "Go young or go home."
49
00:02:05,050 --> 00:02:06,250
No old-o.
50
00:02:06,280 --> 00:02:09,630
Well, I think Eunice is a
deeply inspirational SNAB.
51
00:02:09,650 --> 00:02:12,290
And I hope I'm just
like her when I get old.
52
00:02:12,310 --> 00:02:15,890
Oh, you're not going to be like Eunice.
53
00:02:15,910 --> 00:02:18,430
You're going to be like... your mom.
54
00:02:18,450 --> 00:02:20,250
Pff. Sha-yeah-hah right.
55
00:02:20,270 --> 00:02:21,590
It's fate.
56
00:02:21,610 --> 00:02:24,120
Every woman eventually
becomes her mother.
57
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- Will I become my mother?
- No.
58
00:02:26,070 --> 00:02:28,520
Every man marries his mother.
59
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Noice.
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00:02:29,850 --> 00:02:33,020
Hayley, think of all the ways
you're already like Francine.
61
00:02:33,040 --> 00:02:35,330
Laid-back, except for
quick bursts of anger.
62
00:02:35,350 --> 00:02:36,530
Lazy.
63
00:02:36,550 --> 00:02:38,290
Heavy substance abuse.
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00:02:38,310 --> 00:02:39,430
For you, weed.
65
00:02:39,450 --> 00:02:41,930
For Francine, collectible
"Guardians of the Galaxy"
66
00:02:41,950 --> 00:02:43,600
Big Gulp cups full of white wine.
67
00:02:43,610 --> 00:02:46,340
You should consider
yourself lucky, Hayley.
68
00:02:46,360 --> 00:02:49,340
This is Francine we're
talking about here.
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00:02:49,360 --> 00:02:50,530
I'm an icon.
70
00:02:50,550 --> 00:02:52,740
I'm sorry, but me become like you?
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00:02:52,760 --> 00:02:54,110
Gross.
72
00:02:54,130 --> 00:02:57,509
It's like, Barf City,
population no thank you.
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00:02:57,510 --> 00:02:58,769
- [ALL GASP]
- Oh, see, right there?
74
00:02:58,770 --> 00:03:00,620
Francine just said that
like two minutes ago!
75
00:03:00,640 --> 00:03:02,310
- No, she didn't.
- FRANCINE: Barf City,
76
00:03:02,330 --> 00:03:04,210
population no thank you.
77
00:03:04,230 --> 00:03:06,050
Roger, why were you recording us?
78
00:03:06,070 --> 00:03:08,170
I'm recording everything these days.
79
00:03:08,190 --> 00:03:09,860
I'm afraid the political atmosphere
80
00:03:09,880 --> 00:03:12,630
inside my improv team,
Pizza Party Weekend,
81
00:03:12,650 --> 00:03:14,810
has me... a bit paranoid.
82
00:03:14,830 --> 00:03:18,320
There's snakes in the grass.
Certain members want me out.
83
00:03:18,340 --> 00:03:19,750
- Which ones?
- All of them.
84
00:03:19,770 --> 00:03:20,820
Every single one of them.
85
00:03:20,840 --> 00:03:23,570
Well, Hayley, too bad for you
86
00:03:23,590 --> 00:03:25,620
that you're gonna end up being like me,
87
00:03:25,640 --> 00:03:27,710
whether you like it or not.
88
00:03:27,730 --> 00:03:30,890
Now, I see it's time for
my 10:00 a.m. nap, so...
89
00:03:30,910 --> 00:03:34,910
Ugh! Here comes another one of
your obnoxious little sayings.
90
00:03:34,930 --> 00:03:37,110
Give Momma some sugar
91
00:03:37,130 --> 00:03:40,530
so she can have them sweet dreams.
92
00:03:40,550 --> 00:03:41,770
- [MOANS]
- Ugh!
93
00:03:41,790 --> 00:03:43,230
Barfsylvania...
94
00:03:43,250 --> 00:03:45,630
BOTH: Population nothankyula.
95
00:03:45,650 --> 00:03:47,800
- Aah!
- [LAUGHS]
96
00:03:47,820 --> 00:03:49,920
[SIPPING]
97
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♪ ♪
98
00:03:55,120 --> 00:03:56,150
Oh!
99
00:03:56,180 --> 00:03:58,710
You don't have a big squiggly mustache!
100
00:03:58,730 --> 00:04:01,110
For the last time, Jeff,
we are listing the ways
101
00:04:01,130 --> 00:04:03,830
I am different from my mom, not Wario.
102
00:04:03,850 --> 00:04:05,250
Oh, Hayley!
103
00:04:05,270 --> 00:04:08,160
Looky what I found in
the old picture album.
104
00:04:08,180 --> 00:04:10,450
You can barely tell us apart.
105
00:04:10,470 --> 00:04:12,390
Yeah, only because
you were always trying
106
00:04:12,410 --> 00:04:15,370
to make me a frilly, princessy
little clone of yourself.
107
00:04:15,390 --> 00:04:19,350
Oh, excuse me for ever trying
to bond with my daughter.
108
00:04:19,370 --> 00:04:20,880
Bond?! Ha!
109
00:04:20,900 --> 00:04:23,210
You just wanted your
own personal Mini-Me.
110
00:04:23,230 --> 00:04:25,190
Like that Halloween that
you went as Mini-Me
111
00:04:25,210 --> 00:04:26,930
and you made me go as Mini-Mini-Me.
112
00:04:28,660 --> 00:04:31,210
But I didn't wanna be Mini-Me.
113
00:04:31,230 --> 00:04:33,070
[VOICE BREAKING]
I wanted to be Minnie Mouse.
114
00:04:33,090 --> 00:04:34,810
Or at least Mini-Minnie Mouse.
115
00:04:34,830 --> 00:04:37,440
But that's what Dad
and Steve got to go as!
116
00:04:38,960 --> 00:04:40,130
But it's okay.
117
00:04:40,150 --> 00:04:42,990
Because I couldn't be
more different from you.
118
00:04:43,010 --> 00:04:44,410
Oh, yeah?
119
00:04:44,430 --> 00:04:47,170
Why don't you check
my old senior picture?
120
00:04:48,410 --> 00:04:51,490
You... wore a headband, too?
121
00:04:51,510 --> 00:04:53,030
Face it, Hayley.
122
00:04:53,050 --> 00:04:56,050
There's too much of me in you already.
123
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My genes. My cooking.
124
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My double-jointedness.
125
00:05:01,050 --> 00:05:03,580
- You're double-jointed?
- Yes.
126
00:05:03,600 --> 00:05:04,680
- [BONES CRACK]
- [GASPS]
127
00:05:04,700 --> 00:05:06,710
And so are you!
128
00:05:06,730 --> 00:05:08,050
- [BONES CRACK]
- [GASPS]
129
00:05:09,150 --> 00:05:12,430
Toodle-oo, Future Me!
130
00:05:12,450 --> 00:05:14,790
Well, Steve, through ruthless cunning,
131
00:05:14,810 --> 00:05:17,260
I seized control of Pizza Party Weekend
132
00:05:17,280 --> 00:05:18,910
and fired all the other members.
133
00:05:18,930 --> 00:05:21,330
Had to be done. It was a nest of vipers.
134
00:05:21,350 --> 00:05:23,750
A den of... vipers.
135
00:05:23,770 --> 00:05:26,070
Plus, none of them could
do characters for crap.
136
00:05:26,090 --> 00:05:28,170
But now I gotta find a whole new team!
137
00:05:28,190 --> 00:05:29,970
What about me and my friends?
138
00:05:29,990 --> 00:05:32,870
Our drunk driving skit got big laughs
139
00:05:32,890 --> 00:05:34,870
at the pre-prom assembly last year.
140
00:05:34,890 --> 00:05:36,370
Hmm. How was the prom?
141
00:05:36,390 --> 00:05:37,610
It was a bloodbath.
142
00:05:37,630 --> 00:05:39,120
Drunk driving was way up.
143
00:05:39,140 --> 00:05:40,610
I don't know.
144
00:05:40,630 --> 00:05:42,310
Maybe we could do a trial practice,
145
00:05:42,330 --> 00:05:44,850
test the chemistry, play
a little Splooch Magooch.
146
00:05:44,870 --> 00:05:47,750
- What's that?
- Classic improv warm-up game.
147
00:05:47,770 --> 00:05:49,910
You don't know Splooch Magooch?
148
00:05:49,930 --> 00:05:51,510
Oh, my God. This is not gonna work.
149
00:05:51,530 --> 00:05:52,990
No way. But I'm up against it.
150
00:05:53,010 --> 00:05:54,160
You're in. All of you.
151
00:05:54,180 --> 00:05:56,370
Full member status.
Welcome to the big leagues.
152
00:05:56,390 --> 00:05:58,100
We practice in a public park.
153
00:05:58,890 --> 00:06:00,430
Gotta get rid of my headbands.
154
00:06:00,450 --> 00:06:02,630
No, wait! Mom got rid of hers!
155
00:06:02,650 --> 00:06:04,241
But does that mean I need to keep mine?
156
00:06:04,250 --> 00:06:06,243
[GASPS] CannisterCo?
157
00:06:06,250 --> 00:06:08,130
That's Mom's brand!
158
00:06:11,380 --> 00:06:12,910
Babe?
159
00:06:12,930 --> 00:06:14,830
- Are you alright?
- No, Jeff!
160
00:06:14,850 --> 00:06:17,690
I am definitely not [BLEEP] alright!
161
00:06:17,710 --> 00:06:19,750
I have to get rid of anything
related to my mom!
162
00:06:19,770 --> 00:06:21,330
What about that dress?
163
00:06:22,390 --> 00:06:24,120
[GASPS]
164
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[GROANING]
165
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♪ ♪
166
00:06:32,750 --> 00:06:34,470
- [SCREAMS]
- [SCREAMS]
167
00:06:34,490 --> 00:06:36,820
♪ ♪
168
00:06:36,840 --> 00:06:37,850
[SCREAMS]
169
00:06:37,870 --> 00:06:39,940
- ♪ ♪
- _
170
00:06:39,960 --> 00:06:42,810
I hereby sentence you to become...
171
00:06:42,830 --> 00:06:45,770
your mother!
172
00:06:45,790 --> 00:06:48,990
[GASPS, BREATHING HEAVILY]
173
00:06:49,010 --> 00:06:50,550
If you just had a nightmare,
174
00:06:50,570 --> 00:06:52,170
please don't tell me about it.
175
00:06:52,190 --> 00:06:54,350
No need for both of us to get scared.
176
00:06:54,370 --> 00:06:56,820
Wait a minute. That's it.
177
00:06:56,840 --> 00:06:59,410
A way I'm not anything like my mom.
178
00:06:59,430 --> 00:07:00,750
You.
179
00:07:00,770 --> 00:07:02,670
Oh, she would never
marry someone like you.
180
00:07:02,690 --> 00:07:04,270
Almost nobody would.
181
00:07:04,290 --> 00:07:05,803
Ah, thanks, babe.
182
00:07:05,820 --> 00:07:07,050
[SIGHS]
183
00:07:07,070 --> 00:07:08,760
I'm not becoming my mother.
184
00:07:08,780 --> 00:07:10,230
I'm glad, too.
185
00:07:10,250 --> 00:07:13,950
No offense, but being married to Mrs. S?
186
00:07:13,970 --> 00:07:15,110
Barf City,
187
00:07:15,130 --> 00:07:18,380
- population no thank you.
- [GULPS]
188
00:07:18,400 --> 00:07:20,430
KLAUS: Laid-back except
for quick bursts of anger.
189
00:07:20,450 --> 00:07:24,010
Why is this mother-[BLEEP]
Junior Jumble so hard?!
190
00:07:24,030 --> 00:07:25,650
- Gaah!
- Lazy.
191
00:07:25,670 --> 00:07:26,840
[YAWNING] Oh, man.
192
00:07:26,860 --> 00:07:29,780
I sure am tired from that
quick burst of anger.
193
00:07:29,800 --> 00:07:31,660
Heavy substance abuse.
194
00:07:31,680 --> 00:07:33,630
[BUBBLING]
195
00:07:34,670 --> 00:07:36,120
Oh, my God.
196
00:07:36,130 --> 00:07:38,240
I'm not becoming my mother.
197
00:07:38,260 --> 00:07:39,470
I married her.
198
00:07:39,490 --> 00:07:41,770
Now, give Momma some sugar
199
00:07:41,790 --> 00:07:44,830
[DISTORTED] so she can
have them sweet dreams.
200
00:07:44,850 --> 00:07:46,810
[THUNDER CRASHES]
201
00:07:46,830 --> 00:07:47,840
[SCREAMS]
202
00:07:47,860 --> 00:07:50,000
[BOTH SCREAMING]
203
00:07:50,960 --> 00:07:53,680
[HAYLEY AND JEFF SCREAM]
204
00:07:53,700 --> 00:07:55,410
[DOOR OPENS]
205
00:07:55,430 --> 00:07:56,562
[BLANKETS RUSTLE]
206
00:07:58,330 --> 00:08:01,890
Mrs. S, can I sleep with
you and Mr. S tonight?
207
00:08:01,910 --> 00:08:04,790
Hayley realized it's actually
me who's like you,
208
00:08:04,810 --> 00:08:06,947
and now she's madder than Wario!
209
00:08:06,960 --> 00:08:08,907
[MUFFLED SCREAMS]
210
00:08:08,920 --> 00:08:13,280
It's you who's like me, huh?
211
00:08:13,300 --> 00:08:15,780
♪ ♪
212
00:08:15,800 --> 00:08:17,310
Aren't you happy?
213
00:08:17,330 --> 00:08:19,150
You're not going to become your mom.
214
00:08:19,170 --> 00:08:22,370
Yeah, but I sure as hell don't want
to be married to her, either.
215
00:08:22,390 --> 00:08:25,180
Jeff needs to be de-Francine-ified.
216
00:08:25,200 --> 00:08:29,670
Starting with those beloved
golden locks of his.
217
00:08:29,690 --> 00:08:32,070
- Say, where is Jeff?
- No idea.
218
00:08:32,090 --> 00:08:33,520
I've been working like a dog
219
00:08:33,540 --> 00:08:35,530
on my man-cave all morning.
220
00:08:35,550 --> 00:08:38,790
That's right. I'm still doing that.
221
00:08:38,810 --> 00:08:41,090
Brother, I need to hydrate.
222
00:08:41,110 --> 00:08:42,970
[DOOR OPENS, LAUGHTER]
223
00:08:45,150 --> 00:08:46,730
Oh, hey there.
224
00:08:46,760 --> 00:08:50,570
We just got back from the
most amazing girls' day out.
225
00:08:50,590 --> 00:08:53,750
Look, babe! We got mani-ped-a-files!
226
00:08:53,770 --> 00:08:55,870
You're just doing this to
get back at me, aren't you?
227
00:08:55,890 --> 00:08:58,530
Actually, Hayley, maybe I'm just happy
228
00:08:58,550 --> 00:09:00,250
to finally have a "daughter"
229
00:09:00,280 --> 00:09:02,530
who wants to do things with me.
230
00:09:02,550 --> 00:09:04,290
You know what? I don't
have time for this.
231
00:09:04,310 --> 00:09:06,030
My study group got moved up to noon.
232
00:09:06,050 --> 00:09:07,370
Eunice sent me a text.
233
00:09:07,390 --> 00:09:10,190
On what? A telegraph?
234
00:09:10,210 --> 00:09:13,020
No, Francine, on her phone.
235
00:09:13,040 --> 00:09:16,290
Which she did mail to me in an envelope.
236
00:09:16,310 --> 00:09:18,030
I gotta get this back to her.
237
00:09:19,490 --> 00:09:21,980
♪ ♪
238
00:09:22,000 --> 00:09:25,710
TOGETHER: Splooch Magooch,
there's a monkey in my cooch,
239
00:09:25,730 --> 00:09:28,390
and he came out to give me a...
240
00:09:28,410 --> 00:09:29,770
And then, Barry, bud,
241
00:09:29,790 --> 00:09:32,450
you say an adjective and
noun that start with "A".
242
00:09:32,470 --> 00:09:33,629
Whatever pops into your head.
243
00:09:33,630 --> 00:09:35,089
Don't worry about trying to be funny.
244
00:09:35,090 --> 00:09:37,490
- Doesn't have to be funny.
- Angry apple.
245
00:09:37,510 --> 00:09:38,910
How is that funny? I...
246
00:09:38,930 --> 00:09:41,050
Oh, my God, we are so screwed.
247
00:09:41,070 --> 00:09:43,850
Now, if I'm up next, for
example, and I've got "B",
248
00:09:43,870 --> 00:09:46,530
I'm just gonna fire off
something super funny, like...
249
00:09:52,190 --> 00:09:54,130
How about Bronx banana?
250
00:09:54,150 --> 00:09:58,370
Heh. You know, like a...
like a tough New Yawk banana?
251
00:09:58,390 --> 00:10:00,830
Like, "'Ey, I'm peelin' here!"
252
00:10:00,850 --> 00:10:02,870
[LAUGHTER]
253
00:10:02,890 --> 00:10:04,430
"You peelin' to me?"
254
00:10:04,450 --> 00:10:07,470
Alright. That's more like it.
255
00:10:07,490 --> 00:10:09,690
There may be hope for us yet.
256
00:10:09,710 --> 00:10:12,050
[LAUGHTER CONTINUES]
257
00:10:12,070 --> 00:10:15,070
[THINKING] Looks like we got
ourselves a funnyman here.
258
00:10:15,090 --> 00:10:17,650
Okay, Steve, you think
you can push me out?
259
00:10:17,670 --> 00:10:18,960
Game on.
260
00:10:18,980 --> 00:10:21,290
SNOT: Mr. Steve's Uncle, sir?
261
00:10:21,300 --> 00:10:24,030
[GROWLS]
262
00:10:24,050 --> 00:10:25,930
What should I do here?
263
00:10:25,950 --> 00:10:27,710
Well, whatever you do, don't blow him.
264
00:10:27,730 --> 00:10:29,650
He just keeps coming
back again and again.
265
00:10:30,690 --> 00:10:33,170
♪ ♪
266
00:10:33,190 --> 00:10:34,340
HAYLEY: Wow, Eunice.
267
00:10:34,360 --> 00:10:37,097
Look at all these incredible
things you've done.
268
00:10:37,100 --> 00:10:39,130
Professional female wrestling,
269
00:10:39,150 --> 00:10:41,800
fighting alongside Jane
Fonda and the Viet Cong,
270
00:10:41,820 --> 00:10:45,280
founding member of the
Shangri-Las and Buckcherry,
271
00:10:45,300 --> 00:10:47,720
hang gliding, bang gliding.
272
00:10:47,740 --> 00:10:50,730
How did you make such an
amazing life for yourself?
273
00:10:50,750 --> 00:10:54,010
I decided early on I
wanted an exciting life.
274
00:10:54,030 --> 00:10:55,670
My own life.
275
00:10:55,690 --> 00:10:57,750
So, I left home at 12.
276
00:10:57,770 --> 00:10:59,230
Cut all ties.
277
00:10:59,250 --> 00:11:01,150
It had to be done.
278
00:11:01,170 --> 00:11:03,730
I didn't want to be
anything like my parents.
279
00:11:03,750 --> 00:11:05,710
- Are you?
- Heavens no.
280
00:11:05,730 --> 00:11:09,620
And neither, for that matter,
is Milford, my husband.
281
00:11:09,640 --> 00:11:11,000
Husband?
282
00:11:11,020 --> 00:11:16,840
Any of you study buddies call for
an old fuddy duddy? [CHUCKLES]
283
00:11:16,860 --> 00:11:18,210
Ha!
284
00:11:18,230 --> 00:11:20,682
That's us in our younger days.
285
00:11:20,690 --> 00:11:23,250
But you are only ever
as old as you feel.
286
00:11:23,270 --> 00:11:26,690
Milford here is 102 and
still sharp as a tack.
287
00:11:26,710 --> 00:11:28,060
That's right.
288
00:11:28,080 --> 00:11:30,160
Well, I'm off to the lab
289
00:11:30,180 --> 00:11:33,000
to play tiddlywinks with Morbo.
290
00:11:33,020 --> 00:11:34,370
Goodbye, Constance!
291
00:11:38,300 --> 00:11:39,409
[BRAKES SQUEAK]
292
00:11:39,420 --> 00:11:40,950
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS]
293
00:11:40,970 --> 00:11:43,290
♪ I take two steps forward ♪
294
00:11:43,310 --> 00:11:45,280
♪ And I do, too ♪
295
00:11:45,300 --> 00:11:47,110
♪ We stay together ♪
296
00:11:47,130 --> 00:11:50,010
♪ 'Cause I am just like you ♪
297
00:11:50,030 --> 00:11:51,950
Give your momma some sugar
298
00:11:51,970 --> 00:11:55,000
so we can have them sweet dreams!
299
00:11:55,020 --> 00:11:56,880
No!
300
00:11:56,900 --> 00:12:00,230
Your personality is not
going to dictate who I am!
301
00:12:00,250 --> 00:12:01,890
Or who I'm with!
302
00:12:01,910 --> 00:12:04,590
- Ah don't want your life!
- [GASPS]
303
00:12:04,610 --> 00:12:07,730
- And ah don't want your wife!
- [GASPS]
304
00:12:07,740 --> 00:12:11,330
I am cutting all ties with you! Forever!
305
00:12:12,700 --> 00:12:14,050
[DOOR SLAMS]
306
00:12:14,070 --> 00:12:18,190
Alright. Next up, we got
Tuttle with "Magic Stick".
307
00:12:18,210 --> 00:12:20,070
Pizza Party Weekenders!
308
00:12:20,090 --> 00:12:22,850
Some of you have expressed,
both to me directly
309
00:12:22,870 --> 00:12:25,120
and to one another in
private phone calls,
310
00:12:25,140 --> 00:12:27,390
concerns about my "mental state"
311
00:12:27,410 --> 00:12:31,080
and how hard I've been
riding our rising star here,
312
00:12:31,100 --> 00:12:32,610
so I just wanted to let you know
313
00:12:32,620 --> 00:12:34,230
that Steve and I had a good talk
314
00:12:34,250 --> 00:12:36,830
and, well, he agrees, and I do, too,
315
00:12:36,850 --> 00:12:39,000
- that he's out of the group.
- What?!
316
00:12:39,020 --> 00:12:41,110
Can't be trusted. He's out. Steve's out.
317
00:12:41,130 --> 00:12:43,470
- And Buck-Knife Joe is in.
- [GROWLING]
318
00:12:43,490 --> 00:12:45,190
Are you sure that's a good idea?
319
00:12:45,210 --> 00:12:48,070
Look, Buck-Knife Joe might
have a knife around his neck,
320
00:12:48,090 --> 00:12:49,449
but you know what he doesn't have?
321
00:12:49,450 --> 00:12:50,880
An agenda.
322
00:12:50,900 --> 00:12:54,480
Now, let's have some fun,
you buncha damn Judases!
323
00:12:54,500 --> 00:12:57,600
[THUNDER CRASHES]
324
00:12:57,610 --> 00:12:59,490
I'm sorry to barge in on you like this.
325
00:12:59,510 --> 00:13:01,420
I-I-I just didn't know where else to go.
326
00:13:01,440 --> 00:13:03,210
That's alright, dear.
327
00:13:03,230 --> 00:13:06,250
You just go on and get yourself
out of those wet clothes.
328
00:13:06,280 --> 00:13:07,950
You can borrow some of ours.
329
00:13:07,970 --> 00:13:09,130
Don't worry!
330
00:13:09,150 --> 00:13:11,300
You're not going to be your mother!
331
00:13:11,320 --> 00:13:14,230
And neither is your husband!
332
00:13:14,250 --> 00:13:18,370
Because you and your
husband are going to be...
333
00:13:18,390 --> 00:13:19,650
us.
334
00:13:19,670 --> 00:13:22,920
- [BOTH LAUGH MANIACALLY]
- [CLICK!]
335
00:13:22,940 --> 00:13:28,090
♪ ♪
336
00:13:28,490 --> 00:13:30,630
_
337
00:13:31,120 --> 00:13:32,960
- ♪ ♪
- _
338
00:13:36,140 --> 00:13:40,030
[LAUGHING CONTINUES]
339
00:13:40,630 --> 00:13:43,260
Oh, it seems like I saw something
340
00:13:43,280 --> 00:13:45,790
I'm not supposed to, but rest assured,
341
00:13:45,810 --> 00:13:48,870
I have absolutely no
idea what's happening.
342
00:13:48,890 --> 00:13:51,210
Please, do go on.
343
00:13:51,230 --> 00:13:53,790
[LAUGHING CONTINUES]
344
00:13:53,810 --> 00:13:56,660
[LAUGHS]
345
00:13:57,690 --> 00:14:02,210
♪ ♪
346
00:14:02,230 --> 00:14:05,070
Yo, U-Dog, you sure you don't mind us
347
00:14:05,090 --> 00:14:07,680
wearing your fancy
old threads, kemosabe?
348
00:14:07,700 --> 00:14:10,640
Oh, not at all, dear.
349
00:14:10,650 --> 00:14:15,148
My, don't they just fit you perfectly.
350
00:14:16,250 --> 00:14:17,380
Ugh!
351
00:14:17,400 --> 00:14:20,020
Do you have any other tattoos
I should know about?
352
00:14:20,040 --> 00:14:23,300
I got a Jill Stein riding a
surfboard on my upper thigh,
353
00:14:23,320 --> 00:14:25,430
but it's usually covered up with pubes.
354
00:14:25,440 --> 00:14:26,670
Wait. Why?
355
00:14:26,690 --> 00:14:29,170
That's enough damn pecan sandies!
356
00:14:29,200 --> 00:14:30,710
They'll go straight to my...
357
00:14:30,730 --> 00:14:33,279
Eh, your calves.
358
00:14:33,280 --> 00:14:34,292
[DOORBELL RINGS]
359
00:14:35,350 --> 00:14:36,469
Ba-duh!
360
00:14:36,470 --> 00:14:38,296
Mom?
361
00:14:38,300 --> 00:14:41,170
I thought you convinced
the girl to cut all ties!
362
00:14:41,190 --> 00:14:42,384
I did!
363
00:14:42,390 --> 00:14:45,030
- What do you want?
- My daughter.
364
00:14:45,050 --> 00:14:48,670
- Well, I am not coming back with you.
- Not you! Jeff.
365
00:14:49,730 --> 00:14:51,870
Well, he's not going anywhere.
366
00:14:51,890 --> 00:14:54,610
Actually, none of us are
until this storm lets up.
367
00:14:54,630 --> 00:14:56,790
Road's flooded. Just
barely made it up here.
368
00:14:56,810 --> 00:14:58,370
Yo, Milhouse, this the shitter?
369
00:14:58,380 --> 00:15:00,490
I had a chalupa or
two on the drive over.
370
00:15:00,510 --> 00:15:02,270
♪ ♪
371
00:15:02,290 --> 00:15:03,320
What the...
372
00:15:03,340 --> 00:15:10,820
♪ ♪
373
00:15:10,840 --> 00:15:14,460
Oh. My. God.
374
00:15:14,480 --> 00:15:15,917
Sweet man cave!
375
00:15:15,920 --> 00:15:17,840
Love the mad scientist theme.
376
00:15:17,860 --> 00:15:19,330
"Beakman's World"!
377
00:15:19,350 --> 00:15:20,670
And I bet the secret entrance
378
00:15:20,690 --> 00:15:23,020
keeps the wife out on game day, amirite?
379
00:15:24,530 --> 00:15:26,060
Holy moly!
380
00:15:26,080 --> 00:15:27,720
Can you smoke a brisket in this baby?
381
00:15:27,740 --> 00:15:28,960
What is this, Sears?
382
00:15:28,980 --> 00:15:30,390
How much this baby put you back?
383
00:15:30,410 --> 00:15:32,434
What you got going here? Brewski fridge?
384
00:15:32,440 --> 00:15:34,300
You know, all this place really needs
385
00:15:34,320 --> 00:15:36,640
is chili pepper lights everywhere,
and then right there...
386
00:15:36,660 --> 00:15:40,500
[BANGING, GROWLS]
387
00:15:40,520 --> 00:15:43,180
And then right there,
Spuds MacKenzie poster.
388
00:15:43,200 --> 00:15:44,980
Hold up. I got like 10 in the car.
389
00:15:46,920 --> 00:15:48,360
Cool dress, Hayley.
390
00:15:48,380 --> 00:15:51,260
I love how it does
absolutely nothing for you.
391
00:15:51,280 --> 00:15:54,260
Says the woman who dresses like
the pink ghost from "Pac-Man".
392
00:15:54,280 --> 00:15:55,420
Enough!
393
00:15:55,440 --> 00:15:57,280
I cannot stand the inane prattling
394
00:15:57,300 --> 00:15:59,419
of you two trifling fools any longer!
395
00:15:59,420 --> 00:16:01,380
I'm not Eunice.
396
00:16:01,400 --> 00:16:05,220
I'm Dr. Constance Von Stroheim!
397
00:16:05,240 --> 00:16:06,650
And with my husband,
398
00:16:06,670 --> 00:16:09,240
I've discovered the key to eternal life.
399
00:16:09,260 --> 00:16:12,720
And you shall be our vessels!
400
00:16:12,740 --> 00:16:15,190
Morbo!
401
00:16:15,210 --> 00:16:18,600
[GROWLING, THUDDING]
402
00:16:18,620 --> 00:16:19,730
What's a Morbo?
403
00:16:19,750 --> 00:16:24,140
♪ ♪
404
00:16:24,160 --> 00:16:27,364
Seize them, you stupid brute!
405
00:16:27,370 --> 00:16:29,780
- [GROWLS]
- Aaaah! Aaaah!
406
00:16:29,800 --> 00:16:32,290
_
407
00:16:35,100 --> 00:16:37,610
Wow. Biggest turnout ever.
408
00:16:37,630 --> 00:16:40,120
I know things got a little
bumpy there for a little while,
409
00:16:40,140 --> 00:16:42,960
but I think we came out the other
end all the stronger for it.
410
00:16:42,980 --> 00:16:45,820
Now, why don't we warm up with
a little Vroom Zoom Kaboom?
411
00:16:46,460 --> 00:16:47,740
- Vroom.
- Zoom.
412
00:16:47,750 --> 00:16:49,280
You're out. You're all out. I'm sorry.
413
00:16:49,300 --> 00:16:51,660
I-I just can't work with
people I can't trust.
414
00:16:51,680 --> 00:16:53,830
Buck-Knife Joe has some
friends. They're in.
415
00:16:53,850 --> 00:16:55,519
No time to practice, so
we'll just have to do
416
00:16:55,520 --> 00:16:56,750
warm-up games for the show.
417
00:16:57,990 --> 00:17:02,230
TOGETHER: Splooch Magooch,
there's a monkey in my cooch,
418
00:17:02,250 --> 00:17:05,620
and he came out to give me a...
419
00:17:05,640 --> 00:17:07,440
Big surprise!
420
00:17:07,460 --> 00:17:11,157
[GASPS] The original members
of Pizza Party Weekend?
421
00:17:11,160 --> 00:17:13,450
Can't do characters, can we?
422
00:17:13,470 --> 00:17:16,460
Well, now that we have a majority again,
423
00:17:16,490 --> 00:17:18,480
you are out!
424
00:17:18,500 --> 00:17:21,630
[LAUGHTER]
425
00:17:21,650 --> 00:17:24,600
The lesson from this adventure is clear.
426
00:17:24,620 --> 00:17:26,630
I'm just too trusting.
427
00:17:26,650 --> 00:17:29,134
[THUNDER CRASHES]
428
00:17:29,140 --> 00:17:33,060
So, the hubby called an audible,
and for the time being,
429
00:17:33,080 --> 00:17:36,540
he will be taking the body of
your vivacious mother here.
430
00:17:36,560 --> 00:17:39,510
- FRANCINE: Ow!
- And we decided to use Jeff's body
431
00:17:39,530 --> 00:17:41,896
for the brain of our beloved cat,
432
00:17:41,900 --> 00:17:44,232
Mr. Poopie.
433
00:17:44,240 --> 00:17:48,160
And what have you done
with Stan... you nutcase?
434
00:17:48,180 --> 00:17:49,760
Oh, nothing too bad.
435
00:17:49,780 --> 00:17:52,750
I crushed up an allergy
pill into his malt liquor.
436
00:17:52,770 --> 00:17:54,620
He's sleeping like a little angel
437
00:17:54,640 --> 00:17:56,578
on the upstairs Davenport.
438
00:17:56,580 --> 00:17:58,496
[THUDDING]
439
00:17:58,510 --> 00:18:00,665
[BREATHING HEAVILY, GROWLS]
440
00:18:00,690 --> 00:18:05,700
Get your filthy hands off
my body, you putrid oaf!
441
00:18:05,720 --> 00:18:07,080
This will just take a sec.
442
00:18:07,100 --> 00:18:09,010
[MORBO SCREAMS]
443
00:18:09,030 --> 00:18:11,800
I shouldn't have taken
off with Jeff like that.
444
00:18:11,820 --> 00:18:14,520
Otherwise, you wouldn't have
come here, and you'd be safe.
445
00:18:14,540 --> 00:18:18,510
Oh, Hayley, I didn't
really come for Jeff.
446
00:18:18,530 --> 00:18:20,420
I came to meet Eunice.
447
00:18:20,430 --> 00:18:21,853
What? Why?
448
00:18:21,860 --> 00:18:26,520
Because you seem to want to
follow in her footsteps so much.
449
00:18:26,540 --> 00:18:30,930
I really never did want
you to be just like me.
450
00:18:30,950 --> 00:18:34,870
But I did wanna be someone
you'd want to be like.
451
00:18:34,890 --> 00:18:37,470
Oh, Mom. You are.
452
00:18:37,490 --> 00:18:39,340
There's a lot of things about me...
453
00:18:39,360 --> 00:18:41,580
that I'm glad I got from you.
454
00:18:42,890 --> 00:18:45,860
Oof. Arm's cramping
from all that whipping.
455
00:18:45,880 --> 00:18:48,750
[CHUCKLES] What a putrid oaf, right?
456
00:18:48,770 --> 00:18:51,360
Anywho, time to make some space
457
00:18:51,380 --> 00:18:55,860
in those pretty heads
for our beautiful minds.
458
00:18:55,880 --> 00:18:59,220
♪ ♪
459
00:18:59,240 --> 00:19:00,600
[WHIRRING]
460
00:19:00,620 --> 00:19:03,560
Hold hands... while we die?
461
00:19:03,580 --> 00:19:05,770
Can't. Strapped down.
462
00:19:05,790 --> 00:19:07,500
Yes, you can.
463
00:19:07,520 --> 00:19:10,280
You're... double-jointed.
464
00:19:10,300 --> 00:19:11,810
Oh, yeah.
465
00:19:11,820 --> 00:19:12,830
[BONES CRACK]
466
00:19:13,720 --> 00:19:15,824
Oh, yeah!
467
00:19:15,830 --> 00:19:17,990
♪ ♪
468
00:19:18,010 --> 00:19:19,250
[BONES CRACK]
469
00:19:20,430 --> 00:19:21,579
[BONES CRACK]
470
00:19:21,580 --> 00:19:23,790
♪ ♪
471
00:19:23,810 --> 00:19:26,130
Raaahhh!
472
00:19:26,150 --> 00:19:27,960
♪ ♪
473
00:19:27,980 --> 00:19:30,255
Mom, wake up! Let's go!
474
00:19:30,260 --> 00:19:34,000
Morbo, you beastly fool! Attack!
475
00:19:34,020 --> 00:19:37,260
[GROWLS]
476
00:19:37,280 --> 00:19:39,180
Morbo! What the hell?
477
00:19:39,200 --> 00:19:40,930
Why do you do what she says?
478
00:19:40,950 --> 00:19:43,260
Seriously. Wa-peesh!
479
00:19:43,280 --> 00:19:45,530
Ha-ha! Very funny.
480
00:19:45,550 --> 00:19:48,800
But Morbo not "whipped", okay?
481
00:19:48,820 --> 00:19:52,694
Morbo, you're quite literally
whipped, like all the time.
482
00:19:52,700 --> 00:19:57,300
What are you waiting for,
you stupid, hideous fiend?!
483
00:19:57,320 --> 00:19:58,700
Get them!
484
00:19:59,680 --> 00:20:01,077
[GROWLS]
485
00:20:01,090 --> 00:20:03,036
[SCREAMS]
486
00:20:03,037 --> 00:20:04,789
[BLOWS LANDING, MORBO GROWLING]
487
00:20:04,790 --> 00:20:06,180
♪ ♪
488
00:20:06,200 --> 00:20:07,210
[SNORES] Wha... ?!
489
00:20:07,230 --> 00:20:10,140
[BOTH BREATHING HEAVILY]
490
00:20:10,160 --> 00:20:12,880
- Mom, listen. I'm so...
- Hayley, excuse me,
491
00:20:12,900 --> 00:20:14,480
but I had a crazy dream just now
492
00:20:14,500 --> 00:20:15,960
that made me realize something.
493
00:20:15,980 --> 00:20:18,770
I should be spending
time with my family,
494
00:20:18,790 --> 00:20:20,840
not hiding away from them in a cave.
495
00:20:20,860 --> 00:20:22,380
- Dad, that's not what we...
- Hold on.
496
00:20:22,400 --> 00:20:24,160
Wanna get Steve on
speaker for this, too.
497
00:20:25,060 --> 00:20:26,220
STEVE: Hey, Dad, what's up?
498
00:20:26,240 --> 00:20:28,800
I see now that a cave
is a place for a bear,
499
00:20:28,820 --> 00:20:30,000
not a man.
500
00:20:30,020 --> 00:20:32,850
The only kind of cave I
want to be in from now on
501
00:20:32,870 --> 00:20:34,650
is a family cave.
502
00:20:35,670 --> 00:20:38,700
Well, your father just
cracked open another 40,
503
00:20:38,720 --> 00:20:40,860
so guess I'm driving.
504
00:20:40,880 --> 00:20:42,460
You want to follow me home?
505
00:20:42,490 --> 00:20:45,079
I wouldn't have it any other way, Mom.
506
00:20:50,030 --> 00:20:52,200
[PURRS]
507
00:20:53,230 --> 00:20:58,092
- ♪ ♪
- _
508
00:20:58,110 --> 00:21:00,094
Bye! Have a great time!
509
00:21:00,100 --> 00:21:03,900
- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.addic7ed.com --
35625
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