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1
00:03:15,487 --> 00:03:16,943
Do you have the tickets, Walter?
2
00:03:16,988 --> 00:03:19,024
Passports, medical certificates?
3
00:03:19,074 --> 00:03:21,861
Imagine, we're actually
on our way to Europe.
4
00:03:21,910 --> 00:03:24,151
I'm so glad my brother
insisted we make this trip.
5
00:03:24,204 --> 00:03:26,946
We really should
do something for him.
6
00:03:26,998 --> 00:03:30,490
I'd like to rap him
right in the shoot.
7
00:03:30,544 --> 00:03:33,331
It's 5:10 now.
8
00:03:33,380 --> 00:03:36,793
Ergo, your watch should
be set ahead to 10:10.
9
00:03:36,842 --> 00:03:38,548
I'll write to you.
10
00:03:38,593 --> 00:03:42,677
I also suggest a sleeping pill
the first few nights.
11
00:03:42,723 --> 00:03:45,180
Normally, I would say
that this is a no-no,
12
00:03:45,225 --> 00:03:47,932
but in this circumstance,
it seems justified.
13
00:03:47,978 --> 00:03:49,639
Keep the faith, Donald.
14
00:03:49,688 --> 00:03:50,723
I hear Athens is lovely.
15
00:03:50,772 --> 00:03:54,230
- I can't wait to see the ruins.
- You like ruins?
16
00:03:54,276 --> 00:03:56,267
Take a look at my business
when we get back.
17
00:03:56,319 --> 00:03:58,651
Your partner's just
as good a caterer as you are.
18
00:03:58,697 --> 00:03:59,857
Sam's a jerk.
19
00:03:59,906 --> 00:04:01,692
He's supposed to be here.
20
00:04:01,742 --> 00:04:03,198
Walter! Walter!
21
00:04:03,201 --> 00:04:04,691
Where the hell
have you been, Sam?
22
00:04:04,745 --> 00:04:06,610
You said to meet you
at the check-in counter.
23
00:04:06,663 --> 00:04:09,496
That's downstairs.
This is the boarding area!
24
00:04:09,541 --> 00:04:12,123
Only an idiot could think that this
is the check-in counter!
25
00:04:12,169 --> 00:04:15,832
Walter, please.
We have lots to discuss.
26
00:04:15,881 --> 00:04:16,996
Wait till I check in.
27
00:04:17,048 --> 00:04:20,666
Flight 26 now boarding at gate 9.
28
00:04:20,719 --> 00:04:24,052
Oh! Harold! Surprise, surprise!
29
00:04:24,097 --> 00:04:26,304
Walter, say hello to Harold.
30
00:04:26,349 --> 00:04:27,384
Hel-lo.
31
00:04:27,434 --> 00:04:28,719
I envy you, Walter.
32
00:04:28,769 --> 00:04:30,225
I'll sell you my ticket.
33
00:04:30,270 --> 00:04:33,103
Yes, sir, Mr. hollander,
party of three.
34
00:04:33,148 --> 00:04:35,309
You sure you'll be back
by the 20th?
35
00:04:35,358 --> 00:04:37,394
We got the millman wedding
to cater, you know.
36
00:04:37,444 --> 00:04:39,605
I'm not gonna blow
an $8,000 job.
37
00:04:39,654 --> 00:04:42,270
- I'll be back in plenty of time.
- Thank you, Mr. hollander.
38
00:04:42,324 --> 00:04:43,814
Now, where do I go?
39
00:04:43,867 --> 00:04:46,279
The bridegroom...
He's a space engineer.
40
00:04:46,328 --> 00:04:47,818
I'm already on top of that.
41
00:04:47,871 --> 00:04:50,203
I'm working on a special
centerpiece for it.
42
00:04:50,248 --> 00:04:54,457
Now, I'm going to start out by making
a rocket ship out of celery.
43
00:04:54,503 --> 00:04:57,961
I'm going to have a little pimento
space capsule, you know,
44
00:04:58,006 --> 00:05:00,818
and it's all gonna be resting on a launch
pad made out of chopped chicken liver.
45
00:05:00,842 --> 00:05:02,298
Gorgeous.
46
00:05:02,344 --> 00:05:07,429
Well, they don't call me
the potato salad Picasso for nothing.
47
00:05:07,474 --> 00:05:10,261
While you're gone,
we got the rendazo anniversary.
48
00:05:10,268 --> 00:05:13,635
Oh, yes. That's the meatball Cuban.
It's in the freezer.
49
00:05:13,647 --> 00:05:15,763
I had that for the hogan wedding.
50
00:05:15,816 --> 00:05:17,352
Hogan's the Navy lieutenant.
51
00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:19,106
That's the sausage gunboat.
52
00:05:19,152 --> 00:05:20,938
I had that for the bernsteins.
53
00:05:20,987 --> 00:05:23,945
Sausage for the bernsteins?
54
00:05:23,990 --> 00:05:26,447
Oh, yeah.
55
00:05:26,493 --> 00:05:28,108
“Oh, yeah.”
56
00:05:28,161 --> 00:05:30,277
Flight 26 for London.
57
00:05:30,288 --> 00:05:33,325
That's us! Good-bye, Harold.
58
00:05:33,375 --> 00:05:34,956
Don't make any mistakes.
59
00:05:35,001 --> 00:05:37,242
And don't buy anything
for that millman wedding.
60
00:05:41,299 --> 00:05:42,664
And don't get any grapefruit.
61
00:05:42,676 --> 00:05:43,791
Good-bye, Donald.
62
00:05:43,844 --> 00:05:45,675
We got five sacks of them
in the basement.
63
00:05:45,679 --> 00:05:47,840
And use those crab cakes first.
64
00:05:47,889 --> 00:05:49,845
So long, Walter.
65
00:05:49,891 --> 00:05:51,222
Don't forget the 20th.
66
00:05:51,268 --> 00:05:53,054
What are you
waving for, you nut?
67
00:05:53,103 --> 00:05:54,559
You got my bag.
68
00:05:54,604 --> 00:05:55,889
Let's not argue.
69
00:06:06,950 --> 00:06:09,487
J telephone Tel Aviv j
70
00:06:09,536 --> 00:06:13,745
j tell 'em there's a DC
leaving from New York &
71
00:06:13,790 --> 00:06:15,906
j hold the pork &
72
00:06:15,959 --> 00:06:18,575
j be sure it's “yet,
oh, don't forget &
73
00:06:18,628 --> 00:06:20,459
j see if camp 90-90 will let &
74
00:06:20,505 --> 00:06:22,461
j our junior in j
75
00:06:22,507 --> 00:06:25,374
j he'll meet a friend j
76
00:06:25,427 --> 00:06:28,339
j family plan all the way j
77
00:06:28,346 --> 00:06:31,554
j and I heard the agent say j
78
00:06:31,558 --> 00:06:33,469
j “you'd better watch
your daughter j
79
00:06:33,518 --> 00:06:36,976
j “and don't drink the water j
80
00:06:38,940 --> 00:06:42,023
j Athens won't be the same j
81
00:06:42,068 --> 00:06:43,421
j what's the name
of that good book &
82
00:06:43,445 --> 00:06:46,061
jonp'sand q's j
83
00:06:46,114 --> 00:06:48,150
js what-to-dos? J
84
00:06:48,199 --> 00:06:50,736
j single file in Singapore j
85
00:06:50,785 --> 00:06:54,744
j we'll explore the more
important focal points j
86
00:06:54,789 --> 00:06:57,280
j and the local joints j
87
00:06:57,334 --> 00:07:00,076
j tag your bag, grab your hat &
88
00:07:00,086 --> 00:07:03,578
j mmm, Barcelona's
where it's at j
89
00:07:03,632 --> 00:07:05,793
j you'd better
watch your daughter j
90
00:07:05,842 --> 00:07:08,379
j but phase
don't drink the water j
91
00:07:12,223 --> 00:07:16,762
j interurban love-ins
at the louvre j
92
00:07:16,811 --> 00:07:20,724
j jet-set flower power's
a groove j
93
00:07:20,774 --> 00:07:23,937
j yeah, and shank! They ask
about the ankle gate j
94
00:07:23,985 --> 00:07:26,567
j yeah, tell them,
"great, don't hesitate" j
95
00:07:26,613 --> 00:07:29,229
j “but don't drink the water” j
96
00:07:30,367 --> 00:07:32,323
j' in Paris, France j
97
00:07:32,369 --> 00:07:35,076
j and uptown timbuktu j
98
00:07:35,121 --> 00:07:39,581
j we'll demonstrate
suburban shooby-doo j
99
00:07:39,626 --> 00:07:42,743
j we'll get by,
maybe a slip or two j
100
00:07:42,796 --> 00:07:45,503
j a nip or two, a trip or two j
101
00:07:45,548 --> 00:07:47,163
j but not the water j
102
00:07:53,431 --> 00:07:54,921
J when we get back j
103
00:07:54,975 --> 00:07:57,967
j you will see them smile I
104
00:07:58,019 --> 00:08:02,558
j when we unveil
our continental style j
105
00:08:02,607 --> 00:08:05,690
j lllustrating verbal acrobats &
106
00:08:05,735 --> 00:08:11,731
j among the local diplomatic,
patriotic plutocrats j
107
00:08:11,783 --> 00:08:15,241
j when they ask us how it was j'
108
00:08:16,538 --> 00:08:21,407
j we will cool them
with our coup de grace j
109
00:08:21,459 --> 00:08:23,700
j we'll laugh and shout
about the ins and outs j
110
00:08:23,753 --> 00:08:25,869
j don't pout about your daughter &
111
00:08:25,922 --> 00:08:28,379
j yeah, you'd better
watch your daughter j
112
00:08:28,425 --> 00:08:31,132
j but don't drink the water j
113
00:08:31,177 --> 00:08:33,008
j yeah j
114
00:08:56,161 --> 00:08:58,743
Wait a minute.
I'm gonna have a nut.
115
00:08:58,788 --> 00:09:00,198
How can you eat that garbage?
116
00:09:00,206 --> 00:09:02,822
London, Paris,
Rome, and now Athens.
117
00:09:02,876 --> 00:09:05,162
You're going to love
Athens, Walter.
118
00:09:05,211 --> 00:09:07,327
First time I agree with you.
119
00:09:07,380 --> 00:09:09,086
The next stop is Newark.
120
00:09:09,132 --> 00:09:10,463
Listen to this.
121
00:09:10,508 --> 00:09:14,877
“The Parthenon, where civilization
actually began, the ruins.”
122
00:09:14,888 --> 00:09:17,470
Even your father will get
something out of Greece.
123
00:09:18,600 --> 00:09:20,932
Four more days of uninterrupted diarrhea.
124
00:09:22,395 --> 00:09:24,056
I'm not complaining.
125
00:09:24,105 --> 00:09:26,187
I'll be back in time
for the millman wedding,
126
00:09:26,232 --> 00:09:28,473
and that's all I care about.
127
00:09:48,671 --> 00:09:50,878
And I'm sure that with
my excellent record here
128
00:09:50,924 --> 00:09:53,210
as United States
ambassador to Bulgaria,
129
00:09:53,259 --> 00:09:54,737
the party will insist
I run for governor.
130
00:09:54,761 --> 00:09:56,547
And you'll make
a great governor, dad.
131
00:09:56,554 --> 00:09:59,261
Your broad outlook will appeal
to psychotic liberals
132
00:09:59,307 --> 00:10:02,470
as well as militant fascists...
Something for everybody.
133
00:10:02,519 --> 00:10:03,759
Very funny.
134
00:10:03,812 --> 00:10:06,269
But I'm still very worried about leaving
you here in charge of the embassy
135
00:10:06,272 --> 00:10:08,308
while I'm in Washington.
136
00:10:08,358 --> 00:10:10,474
You... you do remember
my instructions, Axel?
137
00:10:10,527 --> 00:10:11,767
Yes, sir.
138
00:10:11,778 --> 00:10:15,316
I'm not to leave the house, and don't
open the door to strangers.
139
00:10:15,365 --> 00:10:17,510
Of course, you realize that if anything
goes wrong here,
140
00:10:17,534 --> 00:10:19,149
it would ruin my chance
to be governor.
141
00:10:19,202 --> 00:10:20,282
No problem, dad.
142
00:10:20,328 --> 00:10:21,597
Smetena's a quiet little outpost.
143
00:10:21,621 --> 00:10:23,828
What can possibly happen
in two weeks?
144
00:10:23,873 --> 00:10:25,909
You were in Panama
for only two weeks,
145
00:10:25,959 --> 00:10:27,745
and they hung you in effigy.
146
00:10:27,794 --> 00:10:29,284
Well, it happens.
147
00:10:29,337 --> 00:10:31,077
By your own embassy?
148
00:10:31,131 --> 00:10:32,166
And how about Berlin?
149
00:10:32,215 --> 00:10:34,547
Oh, yes, then there was Berlin.
150
00:10:34,592 --> 00:10:37,755
To my knowledge, you are the only man
in the history of the foreign service
151
00:10:37,804 --> 00:10:41,092
ever to wrap his lunch
in a peace treaty.
152
00:10:41,141 --> 00:10:45,601
Still, it would have been nice
when vice president agnew dropped by
153
00:10:45,603 --> 00:10:48,015
if somebody had recognized him.
154
00:10:48,064 --> 00:10:51,101
Yeah, but, dad, nobody recognizes him
in America, either.
155
00:10:57,240 --> 00:10:58,320
- Kilroy?
- Yes, sir?
156
00:10:58,366 --> 00:10:59,481
For the next two weeks,
157
00:10:59,534 --> 00:11:01,137
will you please give Axel
your full cooperation?
158
00:11:01,161 --> 00:11:02,150
Don't worry, sir.
159
00:11:02,162 --> 00:11:03,777
I'll be at his elbow at all times.
160
00:11:03,830 --> 00:11:05,786
Axel, the only visitor
you might have
161
00:11:05,832 --> 00:11:07,447
would be the sultan of bashir.
162
00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:09,456
- Sultan of bapir.
- Bashir.
163
00:11:09,502 --> 00:11:10,502
- Bashir.
- Bashir.
164
00:11:10,545 --> 00:11:12,189
Yeah. If he should show up
before I get back,
165
00:11:12,213 --> 00:11:14,124
give him anything he wants,
anything.
166
00:11:14,174 --> 00:11:16,836
"We've got a very big
oil deal cooking.
167
00:11:16,843 --> 00:11:19,425
Well, uh, have a good trip, sir.
168
00:11:24,434 --> 00:11:25,674
Happy landings,
169
00:11:25,727 --> 00:11:28,810
and don't worry about a thing,
governor. Heh.
170
00:11:57,217 --> 00:11:58,377
“On your arrival,
171
00:11:58,426 --> 00:12:00,029
“you will be greeted
with a mandolin serenade
172
00:12:00,053 --> 00:12:03,295
"by peasants garbed
in their colorful short skirts."
173
00:12:06,809 --> 00:12:10,267
I think they just
lowered their hemlines.
174
00:12:10,313 --> 00:12:11,873
If those are mandolins
they're carrying,
175
00:12:11,898 --> 00:12:14,105
I hope they don't start to play 'em.
176
00:12:14,150 --> 00:12:15,560
This is your captain speaking.
177
00:12:15,610 --> 00:12:18,192
We've been forced to make
an unscheduled landing.
178
00:12:18,238 --> 00:12:20,775
This is smetena airport in Bulgaria.
179
00:12:20,823 --> 00:12:23,155
We're awaiting clearance
and should be departing for Athens
180
00:12:23,201 --> 00:12:25,567
in approximately... 30 minutes.
181
00:12:28,998 --> 00:12:31,239
Hey, pal. What's going on?
182
00:12:31,292 --> 00:12:32,577
We've been hijacked.
183
00:12:32,627 --> 00:12:34,618
We're behind the iron curtain.
184
00:12:34,671 --> 00:12:36,787
Bulgaria.
185
00:12:36,839 --> 00:12:38,249
Beautiful.
186
00:12:38,299 --> 00:12:40,005
The iron curtain.
187
00:12:40,051 --> 00:12:41,712
An adventure.
188
00:12:41,719 --> 00:12:44,131
Passengers may leave the plane
if they wish
189
00:12:44,180 --> 00:12:46,466
but must remain
in the immediate area.
190
00:12:46,516 --> 00:12:47,847
Let's go, Walter.
191
00:12:47,892 --> 00:12:50,133
Out there? Not this apple.
192
00:12:50,186 --> 00:12:51,426
I'm staying right here.
193
00:12:51,479 --> 00:12:52,719
Aw, come on, daddy,
194
00:12:52,772 --> 00:12:56,606
last chance to see an enslaved nation
before the tourists take over.
195
00:12:56,651 --> 00:13:00,189
Walter, just one picture so we can
show everyone we were here.
196
00:13:00,238 --> 00:13:02,399
Please, darling, just for me.
197
00:13:02,448 --> 00:13:04,689
All right, in honor of Newark.
198
00:13:23,303 --> 00:13:25,214
But, comrade krojack,
199
00:13:25,263 --> 00:13:27,219
I had no choice!
200
00:13:27,265 --> 00:13:30,223
I knew I had to get out of the U.S. quickly
201
00:13:30,268 --> 00:13:33,476
when I heard the Americans
had captured lopert.
202
00:13:39,944 --> 00:13:42,006
- There so you can get in the picture.
- Will you stand still?
203
00:13:42,030 --> 00:13:43,236
I'm gonna get pneumonia.
204
00:13:43,281 --> 00:13:46,694
- But get the barbed wire.
- Building in, too.
205
00:13:46,743 --> 00:13:48,483
Lopert.
206
00:13:48,494 --> 00:13:50,701
The gray fox.
207
00:13:50,747 --> 00:13:53,830
Our best agent is captured,
and this is what escapes.
208
00:13:53,875 --> 00:13:55,411
Are you sure of that?
209
00:13:55,460 --> 00:13:57,416
They got him, all right.
210
00:14:00,256 --> 00:14:02,121
Could you stand over here? You?
211
00:14:02,175 --> 00:14:03,585
Will you hurry up, Marion? I've...
212
00:14:05,636 --> 00:14:08,173
Who are those people there?
213
00:14:08,222 --> 00:14:09,678
I don't know.
214
00:14:09,682 --> 00:14:11,968
Get your men, stupid!
215
00:14:14,771 --> 00:14:17,228
Did you wind it, dear?
216
00:14:17,273 --> 00:14:20,106
Of course I got it wound up.
217
00:14:29,160 --> 00:14:30,366
Stop!
218
00:14:30,370 --> 00:14:32,361
Filthy spies! Stop!
219
00:14:32,372 --> 00:14:33,987
Stop! We shoot!
220
00:14:57,355 --> 00:14:58,720
Come on! Come on!
221
00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:01,560
Americans!
222
00:15:01,609 --> 00:15:03,565
Apple pie!
223
00:15:03,611 --> 00:15:04,851
The Brooklyn Dodgers!
224
00:15:04,904 --> 00:15:05,904
She means Los Angeles.
225
00:15:05,947 --> 00:15:07,903
- Open the door!
- Yeah, quick.
226
00:15:07,949 --> 00:15:09,780
Get in! Get in! Get in!
227
00:15:09,826 --> 00:15:11,066
Kilroy.
228
00:15:20,586 --> 00:15:22,451
Aah! They're gonna... aah!
229
00:15:27,051 --> 00:15:28,257
Quick.
230
00:15:49,866 --> 00:15:52,403
Now, let's see.
I'll need a few facts.
231
00:15:52,452 --> 00:15:55,114
I'm Axel magee
of the United States embassy,
232
00:15:55,163 --> 00:15:57,905
and that is Mr. kilroy
at the wheel.
233
00:15:57,915 --> 00:16:00,531
Mr. and Mrs. Walter hollander, Newark,
New Jersey,
234
00:16:00,585 --> 00:16:02,576
and this is our daughter, Susan.
235
00:16:02,628 --> 00:16:04,539
She was a cesarean.
236
00:16:11,637 --> 00:16:13,719
I assume you'll be
seeking asylum.
237
00:16:13,764 --> 00:16:15,675
I will not be seeking asylum.
238
00:16:15,725 --> 00:16:17,340
I didn't do anything wrong!
239
00:16:17,393 --> 00:16:19,304
I'm a caterer from Jersey.
240
00:16:19,312 --> 00:16:22,054
I'll need your passports
and some information.
241
00:16:22,106 --> 00:16:26,896
Now... have either of you
ever had respiratory ailments...
242
00:16:26,944 --> 00:16:29,981
Oh. That's the wrong form.
243
00:16:39,540 --> 00:16:41,656
“Let's go to Miami, “ I said.
244
00:16:41,709 --> 00:16:43,995
“No, let's go to Europe, “
you said.
245
00:16:44,045 --> 00:16:46,582
“We can do things
in Europe we couldn't do in Miami.“
246
00:16:46,631 --> 00:16:47,962
you were right.
247
00:16:47,965 --> 00:16:50,456
We're going to a European jail!
248
00:16:50,510 --> 00:16:51,841
Oh, nothing like that, sir.
249
00:16:51,844 --> 00:16:54,085
I'm sure once we have the information...
250
00:16:54,138 --> 00:16:57,551
Now, have you ever bought
anything on credit?
251
00:17:00,269 --> 00:17:02,225
The information is very simple.
252
00:17:02,271 --> 00:17:03,511
We came on this trip...
253
00:17:03,564 --> 00:17:06,476
Well, it was mainly
my brother Harold's idea.
254
00:17:06,526 --> 00:17:08,482
May he rest in peace.
255
00:17:08,528 --> 00:17:09,608
He's not dead.
256
00:17:09,654 --> 00:17:11,861
He will be when I get a hold of him.
257
00:17:17,411 --> 00:17:18,526
This is crazy.
258
00:17:18,579 --> 00:17:20,319
My wife shouldn't have
to go through this!
259
00:17:20,373 --> 00:17:21,829
She's not a young woman!
260
00:17:21,874 --> 00:17:23,535
Well, it's not much
further now, sir.
261
00:17:23,584 --> 00:17:24,869
I'm an old woman?
262
00:17:24,919 --> 00:17:27,376
I don't mean old. I mean,
you know, young old.
263
00:17:30,341 --> 00:17:32,252
Aah! They're shooting at us!
264
00:17:37,557 --> 00:17:39,548
What do you mean, young old?
265
00:17:41,060 --> 00:17:43,392
I can still fit into the
dress I was married in.
266
00:17:43,396 --> 00:17:44,396
Can you?
267
00:17:44,438 --> 00:17:46,394
I think they're only overreacting.
268
00:17:50,820 --> 00:17:51,820
Look out!
269
00:17:55,575 --> 00:17:56,575
Should we go back?
270
00:17:56,617 --> 00:17:58,053
We're leaving the scene of an accident.
271
00:17:58,077 --> 00:18:00,068
We could get into trouble.
272
00:18:00,121 --> 00:18:01,907
I don't see the truck anymore.
273
00:18:01,914 --> 00:18:04,781
Well, I hope nothing
happened to them.
274
00:18:38,075 --> 00:18:39,656
Hand over those spies.
275
00:18:39,702 --> 00:18:41,363
They're not spies. I asked them.
276
00:18:41,412 --> 00:18:43,368
I'll give you a carbon copy of the report.
277
00:18:43,414 --> 00:18:47,032
They are spies. They were
in a secret area taking pictures.
278
00:18:47,084 --> 00:18:48,449
Pictures of what?
279
00:18:48,502 --> 00:18:51,118
Pictures of our fighter planes, stupid,
the supersonic...
280
00:18:51,172 --> 00:18:53,254
Get out of here.
281
00:18:53,299 --> 00:18:54,584
It's a secret. I can't tell you.
282
00:18:54,634 --> 00:18:56,966
Hand them over.
We'll drag them out and shoot them.
283
00:18:56,969 --> 00:18:58,550
Now... now, look. Look.
284
00:18:58,596 --> 00:19:01,338
This embassy
is United States territory.
285
00:19:01,390 --> 00:19:02,951
Nobody can be dragged
out of here and shot
286
00:19:02,975 --> 00:19:05,717
without the written consent
of the American government.
287
00:19:06,854 --> 00:19:08,139
Will you leave me alone?
288
00:19:08,189 --> 00:19:10,271
My government will take steps.
289
00:19:10,316 --> 00:19:13,058
Well, so will mine...
Great big steps, too.
290
00:19:13,110 --> 00:19:15,226
Then we will surround
the building,
291
00:19:15,279 --> 00:19:16,860
and no one will leave!
292
00:19:16,906 --> 00:19:18,396
No one!
293
00:19:18,449 --> 00:19:20,314
Who's this big mouth?
294
00:19:20,326 --> 00:19:21,657
No one!
295
00:19:58,197 --> 00:20:00,529
There's some magazines here.
Have you had lunch?
296
00:20:00,533 --> 00:20:04,367
Hey, they're really setting
machine guns out there!
297
00:20:04,412 --> 00:20:06,869
First, no movie on the plane,
and now this.
298
00:20:06,872 --> 00:20:08,533
Well, what are you
gonna do about it?
299
00:20:08,541 --> 00:20:10,327
We will lodge
a formal complaint.
300
00:20:10,376 --> 00:20:13,209
Yes, we will lodge
a formal complaint.
301
00:20:13,254 --> 00:20:14,960
What are you, his echo?
302
00:20:15,005 --> 00:20:16,040
Uh, daddy?
303
00:20:16,090 --> 00:20:17,751
It's a simple misunderstanding, sir.
304
00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:18,835
How simple?
305
00:20:18,884 --> 00:20:20,875
Huh. We leave the building, we get killed.
306
00:20:20,886 --> 00:20:22,251
Is that simple enough?
307
00:20:22,304 --> 00:20:23,714
Oh, no, no. Nothing like that, sir.
308
00:20:23,723 --> 00:20:26,055
There'd be a trial first.
309
00:20:27,101 --> 00:20:29,387
I take my family on a vacation,
310
00:20:29,395 --> 00:20:31,602
I want to show them a nice time,
311
00:20:31,647 --> 00:20:34,764
and we got this
working for our government.
312
00:20:34,817 --> 00:20:37,479
And they wonder
why I don't vote.
313
00:20:37,528 --> 00:20:39,644
Mr. magee, uh,
this formal complaint,
314
00:20:39,697 --> 00:20:41,312
will it take very long?
315
00:20:41,365 --> 00:20:42,365
- The what?
- Formal...
316
00:20:42,408 --> 00:20:44,740
Oh, the complaint. Yeah... no.
I'll get on it right away.
317
00:20:44,744 --> 00:20:47,451
Well, if I can be of
any assistance to you,
318
00:20:47,496 --> 00:20:49,487
offer any information,
319
00:20:49,540 --> 00:20:51,997
I'm at your disposal.
320
00:20:52,042 --> 00:20:54,203
Oh, good, good.
321
00:20:54,253 --> 00:20:55,584
Well, I'll...
322
00:20:55,629 --> 00:20:58,712
I'll call in here
from the ambassador's office.
323
00:21:03,929 --> 00:21:06,215
Well, are you satisfied?
324
00:21:06,223 --> 00:21:07,884
Are you satisfied?
325
00:21:07,933 --> 00:21:12,051
We could be in a cabana
in Miami beach right now!
326
00:21:12,104 --> 00:21:14,060
Every year, it has
to be Miami beach.
327
00:21:14,106 --> 00:21:16,893
What's the matter?
They need you to work the tide?
328
00:21:16,942 --> 00:21:19,775
They need him to work the tide
in Miami beach.
329
00:21:22,156 --> 00:21:24,613
- Bless you.
- Thank you.
330
00:21:25,659 --> 00:21:26,739
Government...
331
00:21:26,786 --> 00:21:29,778
Conservation, communication...
332
00:21:29,789 --> 00:21:32,075
Cultural affairs.
333
00:21:32,124 --> 00:21:33,977
Cultural affairs.
That wouldn't be it, would it?
334
00:21:34,001 --> 00:21:37,084
No. They've got to have
a foreign office.
335
00:21:37,129 --> 00:21:38,790
Ah. Foreign office, yeah.
336
00:21:38,839 --> 00:21:40,579
Yeah, that... that might do it.
337
00:21:40,633 --> 00:21:42,464
Foreign office.
338
00:21:42,468 --> 00:21:45,881
It's best to go right to the top
in these things.
339
00:21:54,647 --> 00:21:56,433
Foreign office?
340
00:21:56,482 --> 00:21:58,313
Yes, this is Axel magee,
341
00:21:58,359 --> 00:22:00,941
acting ambassador
of the United States,
342
00:22:00,986 --> 00:22:04,524
the most powerful nation on earth,
and it... what?
343
00:22:05,783 --> 00:22:06,783
Oh. Oh, all right.
344
00:22:06,826 --> 00:22:08,862
Yes, I'll... I'll hold on.
345
00:22:08,911 --> 00:22:10,117
They're gonna check on it.
346
00:22:10,162 --> 00:22:11,681
Do you think they'll
hold the plane for us?
347
00:22:11,705 --> 00:22:13,070
Oh! Wait. Ah...
348
00:22:13,123 --> 00:22:14,408
This is Axel magee,
349
00:22:14,458 --> 00:22:16,949
acting ambassador of
the United States,
350
00:22:17,002 --> 00:22:20,494
the most pow... what?
351
00:22:20,548 --> 00:22:22,504
The United States.
352
00:22:24,635 --> 00:22:31,552
U-n-i-t...
353
00:22:31,600 --> 00:22:33,841
E... e..
354
00:22:33,853 --> 00:22:35,434
You know I'm not
the kind of a guy
355
00:22:35,479 --> 00:22:41,850
to throw up anything
in your face, but... if you remember,
356
00:22:41,902 --> 00:22:44,393
you were the one that wanted
to take the picture.
357
00:22:44,446 --> 00:22:49,065
And I said, “Marion, it looks like
restricted property to me.“
358
00:22:49,118 --> 00:22:50,949
and you said, “why?
359
00:22:50,995 --> 00:22:54,203
“Because there are guards,
guns, and barbed wire?"
360
00:22:54,248 --> 00:22:55,863
And I said, “yes.
361
00:22:55,916 --> 00:23:00,034
“Because there are guards,
guns, and barbed wire.”
362
00:23:00,087 --> 00:23:03,545
Now, this is what
I want to ask you.
363
00:23:03,591 --> 00:23:05,172
Did you think it was a place
364
00:23:05,217 --> 00:23:09,130
that sold guards,
guns, and barbed wire?
365
00:23:14,685 --> 00:23:17,392
Yeah, United States of America.
366
00:23:17,438 --> 00:23:20,225
Of America.
367
00:23:20,274 --> 00:23:22,560
O.-f.
368
00:23:22,568 --> 00:23:25,150
America.
369
00:23:25,195 --> 00:23:27,186
A... capital a-m...
370
00:23:27,239 --> 00:23:29,230
Big "a." Capital. Big 'a."
371
00:23:29,283 --> 00:23:32,195
A-m-e-r...
372
00:23:41,211 --> 00:23:42,576
Well, what do they say?
373
00:23:42,630 --> 00:23:44,524
The regular girl in the complaint office
is on vacation.
374
00:23:44,548 --> 00:23:46,630
- She's having a baby.
- Ah.
375
00:23:46,675 --> 00:23:48,290
Would you see
if you can, you know...
376
00:23:48,344 --> 00:23:49,629
I'll handle it.
377
00:23:49,678 --> 00:23:51,509
Why don't we just
give them the camera?
378
00:23:51,555 --> 00:23:52,590
Wait a minute!
379
00:23:52,640 --> 00:23:53,950
Th... that's a good idea, Mr. hollander.
380
00:23:53,974 --> 00:23:55,327
There's nothing on the film, is there?
381
00:23:55,351 --> 00:23:57,091
Oh, that I can guarantee.
382
00:23:57,144 --> 00:23:59,100
The last reel, he held
the camera backwards...
383
00:23:59,146 --> 00:24:03,560
50 feet of super-8 film
of his right eyeball.
384
00:24:03,609 --> 00:24:05,440
I'm not giving this camera
to anybody.
385
00:24:05,486 --> 00:24:07,522
It cost me 95 clams.
386
00:24:07,571 --> 00:24:08,936
Always money.
387
00:24:08,989 --> 00:24:10,884
You know, that's why
they don't like us in Europe...
388
00:24:10,908 --> 00:24:13,365
Always flaunting our wealth.
389
00:24:13,410 --> 00:24:17,028
Mr. hollander, I think this will
settle things very quickly.
390
00:24:17,081 --> 00:24:19,072
Excuse me.
391
00:24:19,124 --> 00:24:20,239
Sorry.
392
00:24:26,757 --> 00:24:29,214
Is he the most beautiful
thing in the world?
393
00:24:29,259 --> 00:24:31,341
Well, he's only
trying to help us.
394
00:24:31,387 --> 00:24:34,129
Help us?
By giving my stuff away?
395
00:24:34,181 --> 00:24:35,717
Is that we got
an ambassador for,
396
00:24:35,766 --> 00:24:37,552
to play “queen for a day”?
397
00:24:37,601 --> 00:24:39,262
Bumping, knocking... he's a nut.
398
00:24:41,313 --> 00:24:44,805
Mr. krojack. Mr. krojack!
399
00:24:44,858 --> 00:24:47,349
Mr. krojack, here.
400
00:24:47,403 --> 00:24:49,769
Here. Come on... here.
401
00:24:49,822 --> 00:24:50,982
You can judge for yourself.
402
00:24:50,990 --> 00:24:52,855
Believe me, they are not spies.
403
00:24:52,908 --> 00:24:54,819
They are American tourists.
404
00:24:54,827 --> 00:24:56,567
Did you see the shirt
that guy was wearing?
405
00:24:56,620 --> 00:24:58,281
They're spies.
406
00:24:58,330 --> 00:25:00,070
Go ahead, develop the film.
407
00:25:00,124 --> 00:25:01,830
It's nothing but noses.
408
00:25:01,875 --> 00:25:04,787
Anyhow, they have committed
a criminal act.
409
00:25:04,837 --> 00:25:07,328
Come on, now. Why all the fuss?
410
00:25:07,381 --> 00:25:09,292
You spy on us, we spy on you.
411
00:25:09,341 --> 00:25:10,797
Everybody knows it.
412
00:25:10,843 --> 00:25:12,629
Why do we have to pretend
it's so unusual?
413
00:25:12,678 --> 00:25:16,887
Ooh. You admit you spy.
414
00:25:16,932 --> 00:25:19,423
Tell me, how often?
415
00:25:19,476 --> 00:25:21,387
All the time. It's no secret.
416
00:25:21,437 --> 00:25:24,349
Espionage goes on between
our countries every day.
417
00:25:24,398 --> 00:25:26,480
Then those people are spies.
418
00:25:26,483 --> 00:25:28,223
Well, what difference does it make?
419
00:25:28,277 --> 00:25:30,984
Are you gonna tell me that you don't
send spies into our country
420
00:25:31,030 --> 00:25:33,362
posed as American tourists?
421
00:25:33,365 --> 00:25:35,651
But you do admit they are spies?
422
00:25:35,701 --> 00:25:37,783
Well, what if they are?
What if they are?
423
00:25:37,828 --> 00:25:41,286
That still doesn't give you the right
to enter these grounds illegally.
424
00:25:46,170 --> 00:25:47,501
Is that better?
425
00:25:47,504 --> 00:25:49,870
I'm telling you, you're gonna
get yourself into big trouble.
426
00:25:49,923 --> 00:25:51,276
Every nation on this earth
will recognize this
427
00:25:51,300 --> 00:25:53,416
as a cruel and vicious attack.
428
00:25:53,469 --> 00:25:55,447
I wouldn't even be surprised
if France took our side.
429
00:25:55,471 --> 00:25:57,712
I just talked to your office.
430
00:25:57,765 --> 00:25:59,551
They want you to return
immediately. Hmm.
431
00:25:59,600 --> 00:26:02,467
He admitted they are spies.
432
00:26:02,519 --> 00:26:04,350
Mr. magee, you didn't!
433
00:26:04,396 --> 00:26:05,396
Well...
434
00:26:05,439 --> 00:26:10,149
And... and I have
it all recorded right there.
435
00:26:10,194 --> 00:26:13,686
Well, I... I... I suppose I did in a sense.
436
00:26:13,781 --> 00:26:15,362
But you know we spy. They spy...
437
00:26:15,407 --> 00:26:16,772
We do nothing of the sort!
438
00:26:16,825 --> 00:26:18,235
Actually, we do. Now, look.
439
00:26:18,285 --> 00:26:20,867
If we would all stop being hypocritical
and be honest for once...
440
00:26:20,913 --> 00:26:21,913
Mr. magee...
441
00:26:21,955 --> 00:26:23,933
Look. How can the truth hurt?
The fact is, we do spy.
442
00:26:23,957 --> 00:26:26,539
Louder, please,
and talk into the button.
443
00:26:26,543 --> 00:26:28,079
Don't you twist my words.
444
00:26:28,128 --> 00:26:29,272
You're the one at fault here.
445
00:26:29,296 --> 00:26:30,774
You come here with your soldiers
and your guns,
446
00:26:30,798 --> 00:26:33,289
and then you wonder why
a brutal dictatorship gets a bad name.
447
00:26:33,342 --> 00:26:35,082
Now, I'm gonna count to three...
448
00:26:35,094 --> 00:26:37,756
Don't bother. I'm going.
449
00:26:37,805 --> 00:26:40,217
I have what I want
in the little button.
450
00:26:40,265 --> 00:26:43,098
Now, the soldiers will stay here.
451
00:26:43,143 --> 00:26:47,603
And about those spies,
don't worry.
452
00:26:47,648 --> 00:26:49,388
They can either come out here
453
00:26:49,441 --> 00:26:54,026
or stay in there the rest of their lives.
454
00:27:11,547 --> 00:27:14,630
This is great. Just dandy.
455
00:27:14,675 --> 00:27:16,152
Those lunatics out there
say we're spies,
456
00:27:16,176 --> 00:27:18,758
and this lunatic says yes.
457
00:27:18,804 --> 00:27:19,964
Why did you do it?
458
00:27:19,972 --> 00:27:21,178
I panicked. I lost control.
459
00:27:21,223 --> 00:27:22,759
But what were you thinking?
460
00:27:22,850 --> 00:27:25,592
I was thinking, “don't panic.
Don't lose control.”
461
00:27:25,686 --> 00:27:28,428
27 years, I've been a caterer.
462
00:27:28,480 --> 00:27:31,222
Built up a business, reputation.
463
00:27:31,275 --> 00:27:33,061
Creative catering.
464
00:27:33,110 --> 00:27:34,350
I was the first one in Newark
465
00:27:34,403 --> 00:27:36,189
to make bridegrooms
out of pot cheese.
466
00:27:36,238 --> 00:27:40,151
He does lovely work,
I'll say that for him.
467
00:27:40,159 --> 00:27:41,615
That's not good enough for you.
468
00:27:41,702 --> 00:27:43,158
You got to make me a spy.
469
00:27:43,203 --> 00:27:44,613
Look. I'm sorry, Mr. hollander.
470
00:27:44,621 --> 00:27:47,328
I was really only trying to calm them down.
471
00:27:47,374 --> 00:27:48,374
Mr. hollander?
472
00:27:48,417 --> 00:27:51,124
There's no Mr. hollander.
That's just a cover name.
473
00:27:51,170 --> 00:27:53,331
I'm really the Batman.
474
00:27:53,338 --> 00:27:54,794
I'm a celery stuffer by day
475
00:27:54,840 --> 00:27:57,047
and a secret agent at night.
476
00:27:57,092 --> 00:28:00,550
I hide microfilm,
sneak across the border,
477
00:28:00,596 --> 00:28:03,133
give enemy agents
an old karate chop.
478
00:28:06,560 --> 00:28:07,675
What's with you?
479
00:28:07,728 --> 00:28:10,561
Tuesdays, you have been
coming home late.
480
00:28:10,606 --> 00:28:12,267
That's my bowling night!
481
00:28:12,316 --> 00:28:14,147
Now you got her believing it.
482
00:28:14,193 --> 00:28:17,230
Obviously, everybody's been
overreacting.
483
00:28:17,279 --> 00:28:19,986
I'm sure when things start
settling down...
484
00:28:20,032 --> 00:28:23,195
The only thing that's gonna settle down
is that army out there.
485
00:28:23,202 --> 00:28:25,614
We're liable to be here
three or four days.
486
00:28:25,662 --> 00:28:28,404
I'll... I'll...
I'll see about dinner.
487
00:28:28,457 --> 00:28:29,913
I'm coming down with something.
488
00:28:29,958 --> 00:28:31,994
I think is all great!
489
00:28:32,085 --> 00:28:34,417
- You do?
- Yeah.
490
00:28:34,463 --> 00:28:35,919
You know, it can be fun.
491
00:28:35,964 --> 00:28:39,001
Some people might look upon this
as an exciting experience.
492
00:28:40,302 --> 00:28:42,338
Some people bought edsels.
493
00:28:42,387 --> 00:28:45,504
Well, we could be a lot worse off.
494
00:28:45,557 --> 00:28:47,718
This place is beautiful.
495
00:28:47,768 --> 00:28:49,429
I just can't hang around here.
496
00:28:49,478 --> 00:28:51,218
The millman wedding
is coming up,
497
00:28:51,230 --> 00:28:52,970
and Sam can't handle it.
498
00:28:53,023 --> 00:28:56,561
Sam is my husband's partner.
I think you'd like him.
499
00:28:56,610 --> 00:28:58,896
Oh, you'd love him.
He's a mental midget, too.
500
00:29:00,280 --> 00:29:02,612
I'm telling you,
Sam can't handle that affair.
501
00:29:02,658 --> 00:29:05,070
All right, so he can have his son
come and help out.
502
00:29:05,118 --> 00:29:06,699
He's over 21.
503
00:29:06,787 --> 00:29:08,277
His son?
504
00:29:08,330 --> 00:29:10,036
Who's going to dress him?
505
00:29:10,082 --> 00:29:13,040
Well, we might as well
make the best of it.
506
00:29:13,126 --> 00:29:15,082
I've got another bomb for you.
507
00:29:15,128 --> 00:29:16,538
What about Seth?
508
00:29:16,588 --> 00:29:19,375
Seth? Oh, my god!
509
00:29:19,424 --> 00:29:22,507
Forgive her. She can't remember
she gave birth twice.
510
00:29:22,552 --> 00:29:23,917
Seth is at camp.
511
00:29:23,971 --> 00:29:25,836
Yes, and camp closes Tuesday.
512
00:29:25,889 --> 00:29:28,471
What's gonna happen to him when
we're not home to let him in?
513
00:29:28,517 --> 00:29:30,053
He'll be unsupervised.
514
00:29:30,102 --> 00:29:31,933
He'll live in the street
and run amok.
515
00:29:31,979 --> 00:29:33,264
He'll loot and rape.
516
00:29:33,272 --> 00:29:34,728
You know what our son is like...
517
00:29:34,731 --> 00:29:36,221
Just like your brother.
518
00:29:36,275 --> 00:29:37,856
Daddy.
519
00:29:37,901 --> 00:29:39,107
Well, what about you?
520
00:29:39,152 --> 00:29:41,108
You know, Donald
isn't gonna like this.
521
00:29:41,154 --> 00:29:42,269
Donald?
522
00:29:42,281 --> 00:29:44,818
Her fiance, a very nice lawyer
with asthma,
523
00:29:44,866 --> 00:29:46,777
but he couldn't come with us.
524
00:29:46,827 --> 00:29:48,112
You know what I feel like doing?
525
00:29:48,161 --> 00:29:50,447
I feel like going right out there...
526
00:29:54,042 --> 00:29:55,748
Chichikov.
527
00:30:04,052 --> 00:30:05,713
Chichikov.
528
00:30:06,930 --> 00:30:13,847
Chichikov. Chichikov!
529
00:30:13,895 --> 00:30:15,305
Chichikov!
530
00:30:18,567 --> 00:30:19,602
Have you seen chichikov?
531
00:30:19,651 --> 00:30:21,687
No, no. This is father drobney.
532
00:30:21,737 --> 00:30:23,193
Father, these are the hollanders.
533
00:30:23,238 --> 00:30:24,603
My children.
534
00:30:24,656 --> 00:30:26,192
Chichikov is his rabbit.
535
00:30:26,241 --> 00:30:27,651
Have you seen him?
536
00:30:27,659 --> 00:30:28,819
I don't think so.
537
00:30:28,869 --> 00:30:29,904
Damn!
538
00:30:29,953 --> 00:30:32,160
Oh!
539
00:30:32,205 --> 00:30:33,445
Sorry.
540
00:30:33,498 --> 00:30:35,454
Father, the hollanders
came in today
541
00:30:35,500 --> 00:30:36,785
very much the same way
as you did.
542
00:30:36,793 --> 00:30:38,624
Are you refugees?
543
00:30:38,670 --> 00:30:40,410
Refugees?
544
00:30:40,464 --> 00:30:43,171
Do you know
what I paid for this shirt?
545
00:30:43,216 --> 00:30:47,880
We were at the Vatican.
We know your boss.
546
00:30:47,929 --> 00:30:49,669
Have you been here long?
547
00:30:49,681 --> 00:30:52,093
Well, father drobney's case
is quite different from yours.
548
00:30:52,142 --> 00:30:53,803
Yes.
549
00:30:53,894 --> 00:30:56,510
I... am a guest
of your government.
550
00:30:56,563 --> 00:30:59,805
See, I try not
to make myself a nuisance.
551
00:30:59,816 --> 00:31:03,183
I have a little room
on the top floor
552
00:31:03,236 --> 00:31:06,023
which I practically never leave.
553
00:31:06,073 --> 00:31:07,404
But how long have you...
554
00:31:07,449 --> 00:31:09,986
Listen. Why don't we all wash up?
We'll have a little dinner.
555
00:31:10,035 --> 00:31:12,196
Maybe we can listen to some
propaganda broadcasts.
556
00:31:12,245 --> 00:31:13,576
Wait a minute.
557
00:31:13,622 --> 00:31:15,158
How long have you been here?
558
00:31:15,207 --> 00:31:18,370
Well, as I say, father's case
is quite different.
559
00:31:18,377 --> 00:31:20,709
How long? A day?
A week? A month?
560
00:31:20,712 --> 00:31:21,712
How long?
561
00:31:21,755 --> 00:31:25,293
It's been closer to...
562
00:31:26,551 --> 00:31:27,916
Six years.
563
00:31:33,725 --> 00:31:35,966
Six years.
564
00:31:51,868 --> 00:31:55,452
Uh... do you still get paid?
565
00:31:57,332 --> 00:31:59,323
Have you ever tried to escape?
566
00:31:59,376 --> 00:32:02,584
My duty is to remain here
567
00:32:02,629 --> 00:32:05,371
and someday lead my people
once again.
568
00:32:05,424 --> 00:32:07,961
But until you lead your people,
569
00:32:08,009 --> 00:32:10,295
you stay in your bedroom?
570
00:32:10,345 --> 00:32:12,677
It hasn't been bad.
571
00:32:12,722 --> 00:32:16,055
I, uh, practice
my hobby, magic tricks.
572
00:32:16,101 --> 00:32:17,557
That's why he has the rabbit.
573
00:32:17,602 --> 00:32:18,602
Pick a card.
574
00:32:18,645 --> 00:32:20,727
Pick a card, any card.
575
00:32:20,772 --> 00:32:21,852
Go ahead, I'm not fussy.
576
00:32:21,898 --> 00:32:23,854
Oh, come on, daddy, pick a card.
577
00:32:23,900 --> 00:32:25,265
Pick. Pick.
578
00:32:27,904 --> 00:32:29,690
Jack of spades!
579
00:32:30,699 --> 00:32:31,734
4 of clubs.
580
00:32:31,783 --> 00:32:34,650
Damn!
581
00:32:34,703 --> 00:32:36,659
I know. That's two.
582
00:32:36,705 --> 00:32:39,162
Father also raises white doves.
583
00:32:39,207 --> 00:32:41,072
Doves. White doves.
584
00:32:41,126 --> 00:32:44,209
I, uh... transform them
before your very eyes.
585
00:32:44,254 --> 00:32:47,746
Oh, I'd love to see your birds.
586
00:32:47,799 --> 00:32:49,790
An audience!
587
00:32:49,843 --> 00:32:51,003
I'll do the rings.
588
00:32:51,052 --> 00:32:54,135
Magic production!
589
00:32:54,181 --> 00:32:56,263
Hey! Magic!
590
00:32:58,477 --> 00:33:00,513
Don't go away.
591
00:33:07,652 --> 00:33:09,358
“Don't go away.”
592
00:34:03,458 --> 00:34:06,450
“Dear son, I miss you very much.
593
00:34:06,503 --> 00:34:08,744
“Take care of yourself,
eat slowly,
594
00:34:08,797 --> 00:34:12,005
“chew your food
carefully, and go to bed early.
595
00:34:12,008 --> 00:34:14,499
“Above all,
stay away from women.
596
00:34:14,553 --> 00:34:16,214
“See what happened to me.”
597
00:34:16,263 --> 00:34:19,676
I've waxed every floor
in this house today twice.
598
00:34:19,724 --> 00:34:21,931
You ought to stick to your dusting.
599
00:34:21,977 --> 00:34:23,467
Too much wax can be dangerous.
600
00:34:23,520 --> 00:34:26,136
Huh! Don't you think
I know what I'm doing?
601
00:34:37,909 --> 00:34:39,740
Goddamn floors.
602
00:34:41,580 --> 00:34:43,286
I told you.
603
00:34:43,331 --> 00:34:44,366
I know how to wax.
604
00:34:44,416 --> 00:34:46,577
He doesn't know how to walk.
605
00:34:53,008 --> 00:34:54,418
Yes. Good.
606
00:34:54,467 --> 00:34:57,584
Comrade krojack will be with you
in just a moment.
607
00:34:57,596 --> 00:35:00,463
I have ambassador magee
for you in Washington.
608
00:35:04,811 --> 00:35:06,802
- Ah, Mr. amb...
- Excuse me.
609
00:35:06,855 --> 00:35:08,095
Comrade krojack,
610
00:35:08,148 --> 00:35:10,389
would you ask him
how the market went today?
611
00:35:10,442 --> 00:35:11,557
Market? What market?
612
00:35:11,610 --> 00:35:12,770
The wall street.
613
00:35:12,819 --> 00:35:16,277
I got some mutual funds,
couple shares IBM.
614
00:35:16,323 --> 00:35:20,817
Also, ask if the government
is going through with the antitrust thing.
615
00:35:22,954 --> 00:35:25,286
Excuse me, Mr. ambassador.
616
00:35:25,332 --> 00:35:27,914
Break his legs!
617
00:35:31,630 --> 00:35:33,666
Comrade krojack here.
618
00:35:33,715 --> 00:35:36,001
I had a talk with your son.
619
00:35:36,051 --> 00:35:38,758
Yes, a bright boy.
620
00:35:38,803 --> 00:35:40,964
Would you like
to hear his remarks?
621
00:35:40,972 --> 00:35:42,928
You spy on us, we spy on you.
622
00:35:42,974 --> 00:35:44,089
Everybody knows it.
623
00:35:44,184 --> 00:35:46,345
Why do we have to pretend
it's so unusual?
624
00:35:46,394 --> 00:35:49,181
Ooh. You do admit you spy?
625
00:35:49,230 --> 00:35:51,095
How often?
626
00:35:51,191 --> 00:35:53,022
All the time. It's no secret.
627
00:35:53,068 --> 00:35:55,775
Espionage goes on between
our countries every day.
628
00:35:55,820 --> 00:35:58,106
But you do admit they are spies?
629
00:35:58,114 --> 00:36:00,275
Well, what if they are?
What if they are?
630
00:36:00,325 --> 00:36:01,405
What's the difference?
631
00:36:01,451 --> 00:36:02,657
Are you gonna tell me
that your country
632
00:36:02,661 --> 00:36:04,652
doesn't send spies
into the United States?
633
00:36:04,663 --> 00:36:07,154
So those people are spies.
634
00:36:16,633 --> 00:36:18,840
That's about all, Barney.
635
00:36:18,885 --> 00:36:21,376
Stay well, and give our best
to your aunt and uncle.
636
00:36:21,429 --> 00:36:23,385
Bye-bye.
637
00:36:23,431 --> 00:36:24,967
Boy, are we lucky
not to be home.
638
00:36:25,016 --> 00:36:26,722
It's pouring in Newark.
639
00:36:26,768 --> 00:36:28,759
What a thrill.
640
00:36:28,812 --> 00:36:32,680
That was Barney brakestone.
I told him we were all right.
641
00:36:32,691 --> 00:36:36,275
Did you also tell him not to meet us
at the airport in the station wagon
642
00:36:36,319 --> 00:36:38,275
because we might be
six years late?
643
00:36:43,243 --> 00:36:44,653
Hey, Axel.
644
00:36:44,703 --> 00:36:46,409
Yes, sir?
645
00:36:46,454 --> 00:36:47,785
Hear anything yet?
646
00:36:47,831 --> 00:36:49,037
Ah, no, sir, not yet,
647
00:36:49,082 --> 00:36:50,572
but I'm sure once they get
the film developed.
648
00:36:50,583 --> 00:36:51,703
Well, what's taking so long?
649
00:36:51,751 --> 00:36:53,366
You're in a communist country.
650
00:36:53,420 --> 00:36:55,877
Maybe they don't have
all-night drugstores.
651
00:36:55,880 --> 00:36:57,461
One thing, Mrs. hollander.
652
00:36:57,507 --> 00:36:59,067
Naturally, you're free
to use the phone,
653
00:36:59,092 --> 00:37:01,452
but if you could limit your phone calls
to just a few dozen.
654
00:37:02,178 --> 00:37:03,884
When Nixon gets his phone bill,
655
00:37:03,888 --> 00:37:05,448
he may have to cancel
the space program.
656
00:37:09,018 --> 00:37:10,508
Excuse me.
657
00:37:12,063 --> 00:37:13,894
Did I tell you I got the kleins?
658
00:37:13,898 --> 00:37:15,934
They're going to
look after Seth till we get back.
659
00:37:15,984 --> 00:37:17,586
That's the worst couple
you could have got.
660
00:37:17,610 --> 00:37:20,022
Why? What's wrong
with the kleins?
661
00:37:20,071 --> 00:37:21,402
They have orgies.
662
00:37:21,448 --> 00:37:22,733
How do you know?
663
00:37:22,782 --> 00:37:25,114
I catered one.
664
00:37:28,705 --> 00:37:29,945
I've been a chef...
665
00:37:29,998 --> 00:37:32,410
You know who you should be
cooking for? Castro.
666
00:37:32,459 --> 00:37:34,745
But I run a million-dollar
catering business
667
00:37:34,753 --> 00:37:36,960
in Newark.
668
00:37:37,005 --> 00:37:39,041
L... don't threaten me,
you clam.
669
00:37:39,090 --> 00:37:40,484
All right. What...
What's the problem?
670
00:37:40,508 --> 00:37:42,669
Mr. hollander is the problem.
671
00:37:42,719 --> 00:37:45,051
I'm trying to prepare dinner.
672
00:37:45,096 --> 00:37:47,678
Every dish I name,
he wants something else.
673
00:37:47,724 --> 00:37:50,619
Yeah, well, I think if Mr. hollander
requests something, you should try...
674
00:37:50,643 --> 00:37:53,430
Mr. magee, we are in
a communist country,
675
00:37:53,480 --> 00:37:56,062
6,000 miles
from the United States.
676
00:37:56,107 --> 00:37:59,816
Where do you expect me
to find a celery cheesecake?
677
00:38:01,196 --> 00:38:02,811
What did you have planned?
678
00:38:02,864 --> 00:38:05,606
- Oysters.
- I don't eat oysters.
679
00:38:05,658 --> 00:38:07,444
You have to eat them alive.
680
00:38:07,494 --> 00:38:08,950
I like my food dead...
681
00:38:08,953 --> 00:38:10,818
Not sick, not wounded... dead.
682
00:38:10,872 --> 00:38:12,408
How do you live with this man?
683
00:38:12,457 --> 00:38:13,913
Do you force-feed him?
684
00:38:13,958 --> 00:38:16,290
I know what he likes.
I'll just fix him a chicken.
685
00:38:16,336 --> 00:38:17,542
Do you have a double boiler?
686
00:38:17,587 --> 00:38:19,578
No, no, no. No one is allowed
in my kitchen.
687
00:38:19,631 --> 00:38:22,794
No, no. No, you'll get all
my knives mixed up. No!
688
00:38:22,842 --> 00:38:25,379
Nice to know our food is being prepared
by an outpatient.
689
00:38:46,449 --> 00:38:49,282
We must be missing something.
690
00:38:49,285 --> 00:38:52,368
Must be missing something.
691
00:38:52,413 --> 00:38:54,119
We must be missing something!
692
00:38:54,165 --> 00:38:56,201
- Comrade krojack!
- What is it?
693
00:38:56,251 --> 00:38:57,616
I have some information.
694
00:38:57,669 --> 00:38:59,500
Turn it off. Lights!
695
00:38:59,546 --> 00:39:01,582
This notebook, it was
found at airport
696
00:39:01,631 --> 00:39:04,839
at exact spot where spies
were taking pictures.
697
00:39:11,975 --> 00:39:16,264
Isn't that nice?
A magic show just for us.
698
00:39:16,312 --> 00:39:18,268
I wish I had some popcorn.
699
00:39:18,314 --> 00:39:19,554
How about a pizza?
700
00:39:28,283 --> 00:39:30,194
I am ready now.
701
00:39:30,201 --> 00:39:32,943
A real showstopper.
702
00:39:32,996 --> 00:39:39,242
I produce two white doves
from the thin air.
703
00:39:42,005 --> 00:39:44,462
If you will watch closely, please.
704
00:39:48,303 --> 00:39:50,259
I didn't say it.
705
00:39:50,305 --> 00:39:52,546
If it's for me,
I'm free to talk.
706
00:39:52,599 --> 00:39:53,714
Hello.
707
00:39:53,766 --> 00:39:55,722
Yes. Yes, this is Axel magee.
708
00:39:56,978 --> 00:39:58,434
It's the secret police.
709
00:39:58,479 --> 00:40:01,391
Now, they're probably calling
to say you're free to go.
710
00:40:01,441 --> 00:40:04,353
Tell me, your spies,
they are comfortable?
711
00:40:04,360 --> 00:40:06,851
Yes, thank you very much.
Our spies are very comfortable.
712
00:40:06,905 --> 00:40:11,524
Excellent. Would you
ask the head spy, please... the fat one...
713
00:40:11,576 --> 00:40:13,441
If he lost a notebook
at the airport?
714
00:40:13,494 --> 00:40:15,826
Did you lose
a notebook at the airport?
715
00:40:15,872 --> 00:40:17,453
Ah, yeah, yeah.
716
00:40:17,498 --> 00:40:18,976
I had my notes in it
about the millman wedding.
717
00:40:19,000 --> 00:40:22,117
Look. Ask him if I could
get it back right away. I need it.
718
00:40:22,170 --> 00:40:25,253
Yes, he did, and he's very
anxious to get it back. He needs it.
719
00:40:25,298 --> 00:40:28,586
I'm sure he does,
but I'm afraid we need it, too,
720
00:40:28,635 --> 00:40:30,466
for a little while longer.
721
00:40:30,511 --> 00:40:34,379
We almost have it broken.
722
00:40:34,474 --> 00:40:36,635
That's right, the code.
723
00:40:36,684 --> 00:40:39,926
Troop movements, weapons,
supply information.
724
00:40:39,979 --> 00:40:41,594
I'll-I'll ask him.
725
00:40:41,648 --> 00:40:45,391
He says it's a code
for troop movements.
726
00:40:48,404 --> 00:40:49,940
Hello?
727
00:40:49,989 --> 00:40:52,901
Uh, that doesn't have anything
to do with troop movements.
728
00:40:52,951 --> 00:40:55,283
That's the millman
and klinger wedding.
729
00:40:55,328 --> 00:40:57,328
And there are more millmans
than there are klingers
730
00:40:57,372 --> 00:40:59,328
because the millmans
are paying for the wedding.
731
00:40:59,374 --> 00:41:02,411
They may eat like an army,
but they're all civilians.
732
00:41:02,502 --> 00:41:04,584
Oh, of course.
733
00:41:04,629 --> 00:41:07,086
And this drawing of a rocket,
734
00:41:07,131 --> 00:41:08,192
I see it's only a decoration
for a wedding.
735
00:41:08,216 --> 00:41:10,423
Strange, isn't it,
736
00:41:10,510 --> 00:41:12,000
that it happens
to be an exact drawing
737
00:41:12,053 --> 00:41:13,634
of one of our spaceships?
738
00:41:13,680 --> 00:41:14,795
What do you say to that?
739
00:41:14,847 --> 00:41:17,179
I say I feel sorry
for your astronauts
740
00:41:17,225 --> 00:41:20,262
because they're
going to the moon in tomato aspic!
741
00:41:20,311 --> 00:41:25,601
Amusing. And I suppose
this gunboat you sketched
742
00:41:25,650 --> 00:41:28,062
is also made of tomato aspic.
743
00:41:28,111 --> 00:41:29,442
Of course not!
744
00:41:29,529 --> 00:41:31,440
The gunboat's
made out of sausage!
745
00:41:31,447 --> 00:41:32,732
Enough of this.
746
00:41:32,782 --> 00:41:34,989
The evidence is quite clear.
747
00:41:35,034 --> 00:41:38,117
You will pay for your treachery.
748
00:41:38,162 --> 00:41:42,246
We are a young country.
We have plenty of time.
749
00:41:42,291 --> 00:41:46,125
We will wait you out
until we get our revenge.
750
00:41:46,170 --> 00:41:51,335
Remember, the ideology
of the masses will triumph.
751
00:41:53,553 --> 00:41:54,963
Dirty, rotten...
752
00:41:55,013 --> 00:41:57,095
Yep, guess we don't leave.
753
00:41:57,140 --> 00:41:58,971
Well, why can't we leave?
754
00:41:59,017 --> 00:42:01,178
Because it would be impolite.
755
00:42:01,227 --> 00:42:04,890
We're guests of honor
of that firing squad out there!
756
00:42:04,939 --> 00:42:06,224
No one will harm you, sir.
757
00:42:06,274 --> 00:42:08,560
You are a citizen of
the United States,
758
00:42:08,609 --> 00:42:10,816
the most powerful
nation on this earth.
759
00:42:10,862 --> 00:42:12,944
Have that put on my stone.
760
00:42:16,117 --> 00:42:17,698
Now...
761
00:42:17,744 --> 00:42:20,861
If you will watch
closely, please.
762
00:42:20,913 --> 00:42:23,029
- I will take...
- I'm getting out of here.
763
00:42:23,082 --> 00:42:26,700
Guns or no guns,
I'm going back to America!
764
00:42:26,753 --> 00:42:27,753
- Daddy!
- Wait!
765
00:42:27,795 --> 00:42:29,786
Mr. hollander.
766
00:42:29,839 --> 00:42:31,545
Where's my hat?
767
00:42:31,591 --> 00:42:33,027
Mr. hollander, I really don't
think this is wise.
768
00:42:33,051 --> 00:42:34,382
Shut up. Where's my hat?
769
00:42:34,427 --> 00:42:36,383
Look, sir. I planned on
calling my father in Washington.
770
00:42:36,387 --> 00:42:38,449
I'm sure he's gonna have an answer
to this whole situation.
771
00:42:38,473 --> 00:42:39,758
Don't do me any favors.
772
00:42:39,807 --> 00:42:40,909
I can't hang around here
six years.
773
00:42:40,933 --> 00:42:42,469
I got a business to run
back home!
774
00:42:42,518 --> 00:42:44,179
Maybe!
775
00:42:44,228 --> 00:42:45,593
Where's my hat?
776
00:42:45,646 --> 00:42:47,261
But, daddy, they still think
we're spies!
777
00:42:47,315 --> 00:42:49,931
All right, let them catch me.
They'll find out I'm a caterer.
778
00:42:49,984 --> 00:42:52,896
They want any information,
I'll tell them how to slice grapefruit.
779
00:42:52,945 --> 00:42:54,060
There's my hat.
780
00:42:54,113 --> 00:42:56,229
Mr. hollander, now, look.
You're very upset. Now, please,
781
00:42:56,240 --> 00:42:57,259
why don't you get
a good night's sleep?
782
00:42:57,283 --> 00:42:59,261
And I'll call my father.
We'll settle the whole thing.
783
00:42:59,285 --> 00:43:00,240
Do you know whose fault this is”?
784
00:43:00,286 --> 00:43:02,823
This is your fault
because this whole thing was your idea.
785
00:43:02,872 --> 00:43:04,828
Mr. hollander, please reconsider.
786
00:43:04,874 --> 00:43:07,536
Let him go.
787
00:43:07,543 --> 00:43:09,158
Well, go on, Humphrey bogart!
788
00:43:09,212 --> 00:43:10,952
Go, go. There's the door.
789
00:43:11,005 --> 00:43:13,792
You think I won't?
790
00:43:13,841 --> 00:43:16,082
You think I'm afraid
of those guys out there?
791
00:43:16,094 --> 00:43:17,334
Oh, why should you be afraid?
792
00:43:17,386 --> 00:43:19,422
They'll only arrest you
and torture you.
793
00:43:19,472 --> 00:43:20,962
What's to be afraid of?
794
00:43:20,973 --> 00:43:23,464
Just bite down hard
on your cyanide capsule.
795
00:43:23,518 --> 00:43:25,179
Go on, dear.
796
00:43:25,228 --> 00:43:26,513
Stop trying to stop me.
797
00:43:26,562 --> 00:43:27,927
Go on!
798
00:43:27,980 --> 00:43:31,768
Get brainwashed.
In your case, it'll probably help.
799
00:43:31,818 --> 00:43:33,058
Tee hee.
800
00:43:33,111 --> 00:43:35,067
You're letting in a draft.
801
00:43:51,587 --> 00:43:52,952
Call your father.
802
00:44:02,890 --> 00:44:06,007
Do you have
a girlfriend back home?
803
00:44:06,060 --> 00:44:07,704
Well, there was this girl
I was writing to,
804
00:44:07,728 --> 00:44:08,888
but she lost interest.
805
00:44:08,938 --> 00:44:10,144
How do you know?
806
00:44:10,189 --> 00:44:12,145
Well, for one thing,
she stopped writing.
807
00:44:12,150 --> 00:44:13,981
That doesn't mean the end.
808
00:44:14,026 --> 00:44:15,212
She also got married
and pregnant,
809
00:44:15,236 --> 00:44:17,192
and I'm not sure in which order.
810
00:44:17,238 --> 00:44:18,603
That means something.
811
00:44:20,950 --> 00:44:22,486
What's he like, Donald?
812
00:44:22,535 --> 00:44:23,971
I mean, the only thing
I know about him
813
00:44:23,995 --> 00:44:25,826
is that he's a lawyer
with a sinus condition.
814
00:44:25,872 --> 00:44:27,988
- Asthma.
- Oh, that's right.
815
00:44:28,040 --> 00:44:29,405
Donald knows about everything,
816
00:44:29,458 --> 00:44:32,791
like whether you should set
your clock ahead or back five hours
817
00:44:32,837 --> 00:44:34,293
when you go to Europe.
818
00:44:36,507 --> 00:44:37,838
Which is it?
819
00:44:39,552 --> 00:44:42,043
You really don't know, do you?
820
00:44:46,726 --> 00:44:48,307
No, no. No, I'm not sure.
821
00:44:52,732 --> 00:44:54,097
Sam?
822
00:44:54,150 --> 00:44:56,266
Sam, can you hear me?
823
00:44:56,319 --> 00:44:57,809
Operator!
824
00:44:57,862 --> 00:45:00,729
Operator, you cut my party off!
825
00:45:00,781 --> 00:45:03,022
Well, get him back
for me, right away!
826
00:45:03,075 --> 00:45:04,155
Walter, stop shouting.
827
00:45:04,202 --> 00:45:06,158
You'll aggravate your cold.
828
00:45:06,204 --> 00:45:07,819
They can hear you outside.
829
00:45:07,872 --> 00:45:09,988
You're frightening the soldiers.
830
00:45:11,542 --> 00:45:13,999
My partner, Sam Blackwell,
831
00:45:14,045 --> 00:45:15,660
he caters a sweet 16 party.
832
00:45:15,755 --> 00:45:16,915
I don't want to hear.
833
00:45:16,964 --> 00:45:18,829
He gets a special price on the meat.
834
00:45:18,883 --> 00:45:21,841
I'm not interested!
835
00:45:21,886 --> 00:45:23,467
Does he go to
our regular butcher?
836
00:45:23,512 --> 00:45:24,922
No, not Sam.
837
00:45:24,972 --> 00:45:26,007
He's trying to buy cheap.
838
00:45:26,098 --> 00:45:27,429
I'm not listening.
839
00:45:27,475 --> 00:45:30,182
Six people go home that night,
and what happens?
840
00:45:30,228 --> 00:45:31,718
They get food poisoning.
841
00:45:31,771 --> 00:45:34,353
They're in the hospital
because he's looking for bargains.
842
00:45:34,398 --> 00:45:36,434
Oh, my god, I bet they're suing.
843
00:45:36,484 --> 00:45:37,849
Oh, now you're interested.
844
00:45:37,902 --> 00:45:39,062
Are they?
845
00:45:39,111 --> 00:45:40,851
I'm not telling you.
You're not interested.
846
00:45:40,905 --> 00:45:41,905
Tell me.
847
00:45:41,948 --> 00:45:44,781
J' a foggy day in London town &
848
00:45:44,909 --> 00:45:46,649
Walter, you know what you are?
849
00:45:46,702 --> 00:45:48,112
A sadist.
850
00:45:48,162 --> 00:45:50,619
Why? A minute ago,
you weren't interested!
851
00:45:50,665 --> 00:45:52,781
- I'm not interested!
- Good!
852
00:45:52,833 --> 00:45:54,073
J a foggy day in London... j
853
00:45:54,126 --> 00:45:55,912
well, are you gonna tell me?
854
00:45:55,962 --> 00:45:58,123
Are you asking
if they're gonna sue us?
855
00:45:58,172 --> 00:46:00,208
No, they're not gonna sue us.
856
00:46:00,258 --> 00:46:01,714
We're gonna sue them...
857
00:46:01,717 --> 00:46:04,333
For low resistance to tainted meat.
858
00:46:04,387 --> 00:46:06,719
- Walter.
- Of course they're gonna sue us!
859
00:46:06,722 --> 00:46:09,134
What do you expect
from poisoned people?
860
00:46:10,476 --> 00:46:13,434
Be thankful nobody died.
861
00:46:14,438 --> 00:46:15,848
Yes, Marion.
862
00:46:15,898 --> 00:46:17,308
We may make that our slogan.
863
00:46:21,487 --> 00:46:22,818
Hello.
864
00:46:22,863 --> 00:46:24,603
Hello, Sam.
How are the children?
865
00:46:24,657 --> 00:46:26,022
Let me have it. Let me have it.
866
00:46:26,075 --> 00:46:27,565
Hello, Sam.
867
00:46:27,618 --> 00:46:29,700
Sam, I want you to hear this.
868
00:46:29,745 --> 00:46:32,828
I'm coming home, Sam,
and when I get back,
869
00:46:32,873 --> 00:46:33,988
I'm gonna rent a car,
870
00:46:34,041 --> 00:46:35,577
and I'm gonna run you over!
871
00:46:35,626 --> 00:46:36,991
Run you right over!
872
00:46:37,044 --> 00:46:39,330
You're through
in the catering business, Sam.
873
00:46:39,380 --> 00:46:40,460
You're finished!
874
00:46:40,506 --> 00:46:42,963
You've chopped your last liver!
875
00:47:12,496 --> 00:47:15,078
Look what I found.
876
00:47:18,085 --> 00:47:20,076
A little wine, monsieur?
877
00:47:28,429 --> 00:47:31,341
They're your pajama tops, silly.
878
00:47:31,390 --> 00:47:32,993
Yeah, but I've never
seen them quite like that,
879
00:47:33,017 --> 00:47:34,973
just fluffed, dried, and folded.
880
00:47:36,771 --> 00:47:39,262
Oh, thank you.
Thank you very much.
881
00:47:42,735 --> 00:47:44,851
Why don't you sit down?
882
00:47:44,904 --> 00:47:46,485
Uh... ok.
883
00:47:50,910 --> 00:47:52,070
Oh, sorry.
884
00:47:53,662 --> 00:47:54,902
Sorry.
885
00:48:01,587 --> 00:48:03,578
How did your father
sound on the phone?
886
00:48:03,631 --> 00:48:07,749
Oh, same as usual... halfway between
bleak despair and outright hysteria.
887
00:48:10,096 --> 00:48:12,838
Well, obviously,
I failed him again.
888
00:48:12,932 --> 00:48:17,346
He said he'd work something out
and call me back.
889
00:48:17,436 --> 00:48:21,054
But it isn't easy
being the son of a superdad.
890
00:48:21,107 --> 00:48:24,520
A super... oh, no. No.
891
00:48:24,568 --> 00:48:27,184
When I was...
892
00:48:27,238 --> 00:48:29,854
When I was just a little boy,
just a little... a little kid,
893
00:48:29,949 --> 00:48:31,780
and I did something wrong,
894
00:48:31,826 --> 00:48:34,784
my mother used to hit me
with a copy of time magazine...
895
00:48:34,829 --> 00:48:37,696
With my father's picture
on the cover.
896
00:48:37,748 --> 00:48:39,113
Every day I read the newspaper,
897
00:48:39,166 --> 00:48:42,579
I read about another diplomatic
foul-up somewhere.
898
00:48:45,548 --> 00:48:47,630
L... well, I haven't
minded much before.
899
00:48:47,675 --> 00:48:51,884
I mean, my failures
were only hurting me.
900
00:48:51,971 --> 00:48:54,462
But this time,
I'm contaminating your father's business,
901
00:48:54,515 --> 00:48:58,975
your mother's vacation...
902
00:48:59,019 --> 00:49:01,135
And there's Donald.
903
00:49:03,149 --> 00:49:06,892
Your...
904
00:49:06,902 --> 00:49:10,190
Your, uh, family... oh, sorry.
905
00:49:15,536 --> 00:49:16,821
Sorry.
906
00:49:19,206 --> 00:49:20,867
Your family seems to like him.
907
00:49:20,916 --> 00:49:24,909
I guess you never
really know what you want.
908
00:49:25,004 --> 00:49:31,500
You know, you think
you're looking for a certain type, and...
909
00:49:31,552 --> 00:49:35,295
Then, all of a sudden,
something happens, and...
910
00:49:47,151 --> 00:49:49,483
Are those guys still out there?
911
00:49:49,528 --> 00:49:53,646
The... oh. Y-you mean,
the soldiers?
912
00:49:53,699 --> 00:49:58,159
Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I guess so.
913
00:49:58,204 --> 00:49:59,614
Why?
914
00:49:59,663 --> 00:50:04,032
Danger really turns me on.
915
00:50:04,084 --> 00:50:06,200
Do you know how many babies
916
00:50:06,253 --> 00:50:09,711
were born out
of the blitz in england?
917
00:50:14,720 --> 00:50:16,051
What's that?
918
00:50:16,096 --> 00:50:17,677
Well, it's... well, you know,
919
00:50:17,723 --> 00:50:21,841
just an ordinary
secret passageway.
920
00:50:21,852 --> 00:50:24,719
Well, this... this mansion
was built by a Duke or something,
921
00:50:24,772 --> 00:50:26,808
a man of rather large
sexual appetite.
922
00:50:28,817 --> 00:50:30,899
Well, this was his bedroom,
923
00:50:30,945 --> 00:50:34,233
and this led down
towards his m...
924
00:50:34,281 --> 00:50:37,489
His girlfriend's.
925
00:50:37,535 --> 00:50:41,995
Oh! Isn't that
my bedroom down there?
926
00:50:42,081 --> 00:50:45,198
Oh. Now... now look.
I didn't assign you that room because I...
927
00:50:45,251 --> 00:50:48,960
Oh, Axel, this I've got to see.
928
00:51:04,019 --> 00:51:06,226
Too much!
929
00:51:08,524 --> 00:51:11,266
Oh! That Duke was a freak!
930
00:51:11,318 --> 00:51:14,276
Yeah. They say he used to make her
dress up like Juliet.
931
00:51:14,321 --> 00:51:15,982
Then he'd come through the wall
932
00:51:16,031 --> 00:51:18,443
dressed up like, uh, Romeo,
933
00:51:18,492 --> 00:51:21,575
and he'd chase her around the room,
swatting her with his mandolin.
934
00:51:22,997 --> 00:51:27,206
I don't dig weird sexual bags,
do you?
935
00:51:27,251 --> 00:51:28,457
No, no.
936
00:51:28,502 --> 00:51:34,247
My, uh, sexual bag
is quite traditional.
937
00:51:34,300 --> 00:51:37,792
You might even call it obsolete.
938
00:51:37,845 --> 00:51:40,962
Sex is great naturally.
939
00:51:42,266 --> 00:51:44,131
Maybe you've just never swung
940
00:51:44,184 --> 00:51:46,800
with the right partner.
941
00:52:07,207 --> 00:52:08,993
Susan, you all right in there?
942
00:52:10,210 --> 00:52:12,952
- Susan?
- Just fine.
943
00:52:13,005 --> 00:52:14,541
Be there in a second, daddy.
944
00:52:15,633 --> 00:52:17,715
Axel, get out of here.
945
00:52:20,179 --> 00:52:22,716
Susan! Susan!
946
00:52:22,765 --> 00:52:26,178
Coming, daddy.
947
00:52:26,185 --> 00:52:27,470
Susan!
948
00:52:27,519 --> 00:52:28,929
I can't move it.
I can't move it.
949
00:52:29,063 --> 00:52:30,394
Susan...
950
00:52:30,439 --> 00:52:31,519
Listen, everyone.
951
00:52:31,565 --> 00:52:33,977
- Good news! Good news!
- What is it?
952
00:52:34,026 --> 00:52:35,086
I just spoke with
ambassador magee.
953
00:52:35,110 --> 00:52:36,475
He's arranged for your release.
954
00:52:36,528 --> 00:52:39,110
- Where's Axel?
- How did he do it?
955
00:52:39,198 --> 00:52:41,109
Hey. What are you...
956
00:52:41,116 --> 00:52:43,983
You're being exchanged
for a communist agent,
957
00:52:44,036 --> 00:52:45,617
the gray fox.
958
00:52:45,663 --> 00:52:47,528
- The gray fox?
- Oh, it's typical.
959
00:52:47,581 --> 00:52:49,663
Every time we arrest
one of their spies,
960
00:52:49,708 --> 00:52:51,664
they arrest one of our caterers.
961
00:52:54,088 --> 00:52:56,500
They're sending
a plane in for you tomorrow noon.
962
00:52:56,548 --> 00:52:57,879
Wonderful!
963
00:52:57,925 --> 00:53:00,166
Hey, your old man
must be quite a guy.
964
00:53:00,219 --> 00:53:01,629
Just think!
We'll get our suitcases.
965
00:53:01,679 --> 00:53:03,670
I can change out of these shoes.
966
00:53:03,722 --> 00:53:04,837
We're going home.
967
00:53:04,890 --> 00:53:06,505
We're gonna get out
of here at last.
968
00:53:42,386 --> 00:53:46,254
Only for the gray fox would
my government do this.
969
00:53:46,306 --> 00:53:48,342
I had plans for you.
970
00:53:48,392 --> 00:53:50,883
In one hour, you would
have told me everything.
971
00:53:53,522 --> 00:53:55,558
The radio operator just received
972
00:53:55,607 --> 00:53:57,313
an urgent message
from Washington.
973
00:53:57,359 --> 00:53:58,974
The gray fox is dead.
974
00:53:59,027 --> 00:54:00,107
Dead?
975
00:54:00,154 --> 00:54:01,154
Dead.
976
00:54:01,196 --> 00:54:06,065
Why don't you admit that you're
a filthy American spy?
977
00:54:06,118 --> 00:54:08,404
Why don't you play
in the runway?
978
00:54:08,454 --> 00:54:09,660
He hung himself.
979
00:54:09,705 --> 00:54:10,990
He hung him...
980
00:54:11,039 --> 00:54:12,995
Shh! Krojack will be
getting word any minute.
981
00:54:13,041 --> 00:54:14,747
Admit it.
982
00:54:14,793 --> 00:54:17,284
If it makes you happy, I admit it.
983
00:54:17,337 --> 00:54:20,750
I'm not from Jersey,
I'm not a caterer, and she's not my wife.
984
00:54:20,799 --> 00:54:23,791
She's a u-boat commander.
985
00:54:23,844 --> 00:54:25,880
And then he's gonna
grab the hollanders.
986
00:54:25,929 --> 00:54:28,215
Uh, look, we got to get back
to the embassy fast.
987
00:54:28,307 --> 00:54:31,014
I'd like to break you
in two pieces.
988
00:54:31,059 --> 00:54:33,050
Don't try anything, buster.
989
00:54:33,145 --> 00:54:35,261
We're all black belts in karate.
990
00:54:35,314 --> 00:54:37,930
Hey, oh, whoa!
991
00:54:39,818 --> 00:54:42,685
I'd kill you with my bare hands.
992
00:54:42,738 --> 00:54:45,901
Don't move, or I'll blow you to pieces.
993
00:54:45,949 --> 00:54:47,314
You're bluffing.
994
00:54:47,367 --> 00:54:49,608
Try me, hotshot.
995
00:54:49,661 --> 00:54:51,322
That's a finger.
996
00:54:51,371 --> 00:54:53,202
It only looks like a finger.
997
00:54:53,248 --> 00:54:56,035
It happens to be
a flesh-colored .45
998
00:54:56,084 --> 00:54:57,449
with two knuckles, a joint,
999
00:54:57,503 --> 00:54:59,789
and a little hair.
1000
00:54:59,838 --> 00:55:02,124
Mr. hollander, your wife
would like to see you.
1001
00:55:02,174 --> 00:55:05,712
You will pay
for your little game.
1002
00:55:05,761 --> 00:55:08,844
How? Are you forgetting
the gray fox?
1003
00:55:08,889 --> 00:55:10,129
Who's he trying to kid?
1004
00:55:10,182 --> 00:55:13,549
Someday, I will have my chance.
1005
00:55:13,602 --> 00:55:16,389
Your cockamamie threats
don't frighten me.
1006
00:55:16,438 --> 00:55:18,269
The gray fox is dead.
1007
00:55:18,357 --> 00:55:21,690
I've got you over a barrel,
and you know it.
1008
00:55:23,195 --> 00:55:24,310
Dead?
1009
00:55:24,363 --> 00:55:26,354
We... we got to get
back to the embassy.
1010
00:55:29,618 --> 00:55:32,200
Well, it was nice
talking to you.
1011
00:55:51,431 --> 00:55:54,923
Nut of a gray fox has to pick
today to hang himself!
1012
00:55:54,977 --> 00:55:56,968
If I could get my hands on him,
I'd kill him!
1013
00:55:57,062 --> 00:55:58,893
I'd better call
Barney brakestone.
1014
00:55:58,939 --> 00:56:00,304
You better call Seth, too.
1015
00:56:00,399 --> 00:56:02,185
Tell him to go ahead
with his applications
1016
00:56:02,234 --> 00:56:04,190
to the foster parents' home.
1017
00:56:04,236 --> 00:56:06,318
What makes a man
want to kill himself?
1018
00:56:06,405 --> 00:56:07,941
What do you expect
from the gray fox?
1019
00:56:07,990 --> 00:56:11,073
Is that a name
for a grown-up person?
1020
00:56:11,118 --> 00:56:12,449
Hey!
1021
00:57:08,592 --> 00:57:11,129
At least he's dressed properly.
1022
00:57:11,178 --> 00:57:14,921
Excuse me. Could someone
help me out of this, please?
1023
00:57:14,973 --> 00:57:16,838
Don't pay any attention to him.
1024
00:57:16,892 --> 00:57:18,632
I think it's marvelous
a man of the cloth
1025
00:57:18,685 --> 00:57:21,927
has a hobby besides just god.
1026
00:57:27,736 --> 00:57:31,399
Hello? Yes, operator.
1027
00:57:31,406 --> 00:57:32,486
Fine.
1028
00:57:32,532 --> 00:57:33,942
Sam Blackwell's calling.
1029
00:57:33,992 --> 00:57:36,779
Ask him if it's still raining.
1030
00:57:36,828 --> 00:57:39,285
Hello, murderer.
1031
00:57:39,331 --> 00:57:41,196
Have you poisoned
anybody lately?
1032
00:57:41,249 --> 00:57:42,830
Oh, Walter, be nice.
1033
00:57:42,876 --> 00:57:44,537
We all make mistakes.
1034
00:57:44,586 --> 00:57:46,827
No. I'm not still here.
1035
00:57:46,880 --> 00:57:48,620
I'm in Puerto Rico.
1036
00:57:48,674 --> 00:57:51,791
I'm having a mint julep
underneath a palm tree.
1037
00:57:51,843 --> 00:57:53,629
Of course I'm still here!
1038
00:57:53,679 --> 00:57:56,637
Who do you think
is talking to you?
1039
00:57:56,682 --> 00:57:57,888
What?!
1040
00:57:59,726 --> 00:58:02,513
Two more keeled over?
1041
00:58:02,562 --> 00:58:06,020
They're dropping like flies?
1042
00:58:06,066 --> 00:58:09,354
What do you mean
you can't talk anymore?
1043
00:58:09,403 --> 00:58:10,893
Their lawyers just walked in?
1044
00:58:14,032 --> 00:58:15,568
Goodbye, Sam.
1045
00:58:18,245 --> 00:58:21,203
He's wiped half
of Newark county.
1046
00:58:21,248 --> 00:58:23,113
Have faith in the lord, my son.
1047
00:58:23,166 --> 00:58:25,327
I have faith, father,
1048
00:58:25,377 --> 00:58:27,368
and if he's listening now,
1049
00:58:27,421 --> 00:58:30,629
please crush
Sam Blackwell's head.
1050
00:58:44,354 --> 00:58:48,188
Well, if I'm through
as a caterer, I don't have to worry.
1051
00:58:48,233 --> 00:58:50,189
I just found a new business.
1052
00:58:50,235 --> 00:58:52,692
I'm going to apply
for the straitjacket concession
1053
00:58:52,738 --> 00:58:54,194
in this madhouse.
1054
00:58:56,283 --> 00:58:58,319
What are you doing
with the stove?
1055
00:58:58,410 --> 00:59:00,401
- Stove?
- Yes, a porcelain stove.
1056
00:59:00,454 --> 00:59:02,945
You don't think
Bulgaria has central heating.
1057
00:59:02,998 --> 00:59:05,831
I've been mailing letters in it.
1058
00:59:05,876 --> 00:59:08,492
No wonder I didn't get
any answers.
1059
00:59:11,840 --> 00:59:13,171
Walter.
1060
00:59:22,184 --> 00:59:24,596
She's kissing a failure.
1061
00:59:24,644 --> 00:59:27,101
Well, it's her life.
1062
00:59:27,147 --> 00:59:30,230
All of a sudden, it's goodbye
to a successful lawyer
1063
00:59:30,275 --> 00:59:32,891
and hello to a psychotic diplomat.
1064
00:59:32,944 --> 00:59:34,605
It's not up to us, is it?
1065
00:59:34,654 --> 00:59:35,860
I know that, Marion.
1066
00:59:35,906 --> 00:59:37,862
All I want is the right thing for her.
1067
00:59:37,949 --> 00:59:39,530
Well, what is the right thing for her?
1068
00:59:39,534 --> 00:59:41,991
What I tell her is
the right thing for her, that's what.
1069
00:59:43,955 --> 00:59:45,616
Get away.
1070
00:59:45,665 --> 00:59:46,665
Susan!
1071
00:59:47,751 --> 00:59:50,242
Come up here
and stop that funny stuff!
1072
00:59:50,295 --> 00:59:52,081
He sounds angry.
1073
00:59:52,130 --> 00:59:54,712
I'd prefer her to go
with that draft dodger.
1074
00:59:54,758 --> 00:59:56,419
At least he was a success.
1075
00:59:56,468 --> 00:59:57,833
He beat the draft.
1076
00:59:57,886 --> 01:00:00,753
Had to jump off the roof to do it,
but he beat it!
1077
01:00:00,806 --> 01:00:02,592
Oh, listen, Susan.
I had an idea.
1078
01:00:02,641 --> 01:00:05,553
Now, the sultan of bashir
is coming here today.
1079
01:00:05,560 --> 01:00:07,080
- Sultan?
- Yeah. The sultan of bashir.
1080
01:00:07,145 --> 01:00:08,601
He's a very influential man.
1081
01:00:08,647 --> 01:00:12,981
Now, I can ask him to intercede
with the police for your release.
1082
01:00:13,026 --> 01:00:15,187
Wonderful. Dad will love that.
1083
01:00:15,237 --> 01:00:16,727
Yeah. Ok. Would you tell him?
1084
01:00:16,780 --> 01:00:19,317
I got to go and change
into something more formal.
1085
01:00:28,708 --> 01:00:30,790
Oh, welcome, your majesty.
Welcome indeed.
1086
01:00:30,836 --> 01:00:32,105
Won't you step into
the ambassador's office?
1087
01:00:32,129 --> 01:00:34,370
I'll get Mr. magee immediately.
1088
01:00:43,515 --> 01:00:44,971
And sit!
1089
01:00:51,439 --> 01:00:53,395
Who's that...
Lawrence of Arabia?
1090
01:00:53,441 --> 01:00:56,057
How do you do, sultan?
1091
01:00:56,111 --> 01:00:58,318
Sultan? How do you know him?
1092
01:00:58,363 --> 01:00:59,363
Are you ignorant?
1093
01:00:59,406 --> 01:01:01,613
It's the sultan of bashir.
1094
01:01:01,700 --> 01:01:04,066
What do you do,
hang around the un. Building?
1095
01:01:04,119 --> 01:01:06,781
I saw his picture in playboy.
1096
01:01:06,830 --> 01:01:09,617
I am here to see
ambassador magee.
1097
01:01:09,624 --> 01:01:11,831
Won't you have a chair?
1098
01:01:11,877 --> 01:01:13,708
Can I take your sheet?
1099
01:01:15,922 --> 01:01:18,629
I hope you didn't have trouble
with the police getting in.
1100
01:01:18,633 --> 01:01:20,169
They wouldn't dare.
1101
01:01:20,218 --> 01:01:21,333
That's great.
1102
01:01:21,386 --> 01:01:23,126
This clown's running
around in an awning
1103
01:01:23,180 --> 01:01:25,136
in and out of our embassy.
1104
01:01:25,182 --> 01:01:27,844
I'm a citizen, and I'm stuck here.
1105
01:01:27,893 --> 01:01:30,635
Daddy, listen. I, uh... oh.
1106
01:01:30,645 --> 01:01:32,260
This is my daughter Susan.
1107
01:01:32,314 --> 01:01:35,522
She graduated third in her class.
1108
01:01:35,567 --> 01:01:39,059
Well, charming.
1109
01:01:39,112 --> 01:01:42,900
You know, I am thinking
of adding an American girl
1110
01:01:42,949 --> 01:01:44,655
to my harem.
1111
01:01:44,659 --> 01:01:47,275
Adding? What do you mean adding?
1112
01:01:47,329 --> 01:01:50,036
Marriage, of course.
1113
01:01:50,081 --> 01:01:52,288
You see, I'm a man of few words.
1114
01:01:52,334 --> 01:01:54,916
I happen to be a man
of few words, too...
1115
01:01:54,961 --> 01:01:56,667
Drop dead.
1116
01:01:56,755 --> 01:02:01,169
No one speaks to me
like that! No one!
1117
01:02:01,218 --> 01:02:03,584
Listen, you sand clam!
1118
01:02:04,971 --> 01:02:07,007
Your highness,
Mr. magee will be...
1119
01:02:07,057 --> 01:02:09,048
I demand a formal apology
from your government!
1120
01:02:09,100 --> 01:02:11,136
- You'll have it.
- Who do you think you are?
1121
01:02:11,186 --> 01:02:13,677
A big shot because you own
some oil Wells or something?
1122
01:02:13,772 --> 01:02:15,603
You're nothing but
a cockamamie nut!
1123
01:02:15,649 --> 01:02:17,355
Please, Mr. hollander, please go!
1124
01:02:17,400 --> 01:02:18,560
Me go? Let him go.
1125
01:02:18,610 --> 01:02:20,726
I pay taxes for this place!
1126
01:02:20,779 --> 01:02:22,690
Did you fill out
a 1040 form last year?
1127
01:02:22,781 --> 01:02:25,113
Mr. hollander, we have business!
1128
01:02:25,158 --> 01:02:26,568
Who is this person?
1129
01:02:26,618 --> 01:02:30,076
I just happen to be a little Mr. nobody
from Newark, New Jersey,
1130
01:02:30,121 --> 01:02:34,831
but I don't like the idea of my government
doing business with sex maniacs!
1131
01:02:34,876 --> 01:02:37,709
You may consider
relationship with us at an end!
1132
01:02:42,634 --> 01:02:43,840
But, your highness!
1133
01:02:46,012 --> 01:02:48,594
Good bye, fatso.
1134
01:02:50,016 --> 01:02:51,802
Oh, boy.
1135
01:02:51,851 --> 01:02:54,058
Well, at least things
can't get any worse.
1136
01:03:07,284 --> 01:03:15,282
Tonight, we have a spontaneous
protest-demonstration-type deal.
1137
01:03:16,376 --> 01:03:20,995
Follow the schedule exactly.
1138
01:03:21,047 --> 01:03:28,135
At 7:00, all of those whose initials
begin from “a " to “m,"
1139
01:03:28,179 --> 01:03:30,886
form in front
of the American embassy
1140
01:03:30,932 --> 01:03:33,594
right here with your posters.
1141
01:03:33,643 --> 01:03:35,304
Show the posters.
1142
01:03:37,772 --> 01:03:43,483
Now, make sure that the posters
are facing the newsreel camera.
1143
01:03:43,528 --> 01:03:47,112
7:30, begin the chanting.
1144
01:03:47,157 --> 01:03:53,118
There are three approved chants
on top of page two, such as...
1145
01:03:53,163 --> 01:03:57,748
“Down with the senseless,
imperialist aggressors.“
1146
01:03:57,792 --> 01:04:01,910
see if the boys can punch that one up
a little bit, please.
1147
01:04:01,963 --> 01:04:05,706
All right. 8:00,
your ranks will swell.
1148
01:04:05,759 --> 01:04:10,799
Group “n " to “z" burning in effigy
the American spy.
1149
01:04:10,805 --> 01:04:12,887
This will be the effigy
of the American spy.
1150
01:04:12,932 --> 01:04:17,221
However, the Valiant
police line will hold firm.
1151
01:04:17,270 --> 01:04:20,558
This will only increase the righteous
indignation of you students.
1152
01:04:20,607 --> 01:04:22,689
You got that?
1153
01:04:23,735 --> 01:04:26,852
Now, I want to see
some raised fists
1154
01:04:26,905 --> 01:04:29,692
and excitement out there for a change.
1155
01:04:29,741 --> 01:04:32,699
This will in turn cause the police
to overreact,
1156
01:04:32,744 --> 01:04:35,201
make some arrests,
and club one of the students
1157
01:04:35,246 --> 01:04:36,986
into insensibility.
1158
01:04:37,040 --> 01:04:38,450
We'll use punchy zwerken again.
1159
01:04:38,500 --> 01:04:40,832
Where is he? There he is.
1160
01:04:40,919 --> 01:04:43,831
Punchy, you think you got
another one in you?
1161
01:04:43,922 --> 01:04:47,915
All right. 8:30, start throwing
rocks and sticks
1162
01:04:47,967 --> 01:04:49,628
through the embassy windows.
1163
01:04:49,677 --> 01:04:52,089
Did everybody remember
to bring their rocks and sticks?
1164
01:04:55,058 --> 01:04:59,392
Well, when you go home, remember
to bring back your rocks and sticks!
1165
01:04:59,437 --> 01:05:01,894
You can't make
a protest like this.
1166
01:05:01,940 --> 01:05:06,604
All right. Now I want to see some
real good wall swarming tonight,
1167
01:05:06,653 --> 01:05:09,110
and I don't want to see
the soldiers helping
1168
01:05:09,114 --> 01:05:11,230
to boost everybody
over the fence
1169
01:05:11,282 --> 01:05:13,322
the way they were doing
on that British embassy job.
1170
01:05:13,368 --> 01:05:16,986
If you can't swarm by yourself,
you don't belong in this profession.
1171
01:05:17,038 --> 01:05:21,202
Finally, the big payoff.
1172
01:05:21,251 --> 01:05:25,460
Here I want to see
15 solid minutes
1173
01:05:25,505 --> 01:05:29,248
of good running amok.
1174
01:05:29,300 --> 01:05:33,760
I want to see some
constructive vandalism tonight,
1175
01:05:33,805 --> 01:05:36,342
something creative for a change.
1176
01:05:36,391 --> 01:05:39,883
Then the police move in,
restore order, everybody out.
1177
01:05:39,894 --> 01:05:41,725
Any questions? No questions.
1178
01:05:41,771 --> 01:05:43,682
All right. Mishkin,
I want a word with you.
1179
01:05:43,731 --> 01:05:45,847
You will do something for me.
1180
01:05:45,900 --> 01:05:49,768
You will throw that
in the embassy window.
1181
01:05:49,821 --> 01:05:51,311
A bomb?
1182
01:05:51,322 --> 01:05:53,563
They wouldn't have a chance.
1183
01:05:53,616 --> 01:05:57,359
Has this been ok'ed by upstairs?
1184
01:05:57,412 --> 01:05:58,993
Never mind upstairs.
1185
01:05:59,038 --> 01:06:01,120
I ok, you throw.
1186
01:06:07,213 --> 01:06:09,670
Right in the belly!
1187
01:06:13,553 --> 01:06:18,047
10, 20, 30, 39, 46.
1188
01:06:20,727 --> 01:06:22,012
Here they come.
1189
01:06:38,870 --> 01:06:41,657
Oh, it's just
another student demonstration.
1190
01:06:41,706 --> 01:06:43,617
It's nothing.
1191
01:06:43,666 --> 01:06:45,186
It doesn't bother me.
Since I got my suitcase back,
1192
01:06:45,210 --> 01:06:46,700
I'm a new woman.
1193
01:06:46,753 --> 01:06:47,868
Will you please discard?
1194
01:06:47,921 --> 01:06:51,664
I mean it. With comfortable shoes,
I can face anything.
1195
01:06:51,716 --> 01:06:52,796
Just play your card.
1196
01:06:52,842 --> 01:06:54,252
We're only gonna be here six years,
1197
01:06:54,302 --> 01:06:57,089
and I'd like to finish a game
before we leave.
1198
01:07:07,857 --> 01:07:10,348
Mr. kilroy doesn't
seem very concerned.
1199
01:07:10,401 --> 01:07:11,837
Yeah. Well, he hasn't
had my experience.
1200
01:07:11,861 --> 01:07:13,817
I know what it's like
to be stoned and spit on,
1201
01:07:13,863 --> 01:07:16,775
and believe me,
those guys are stoners and spitters.
1202
01:07:49,482 --> 01:07:50,938
Walter, come quick.
1203
01:07:50,942 --> 01:07:53,024
They've got a cloth dummy
that looks just like you,
1204
01:07:53,111 --> 01:07:55,067
and they're burning it.
1205
01:08:00,743 --> 01:08:04,452
And big, ugly signs calling us
all kinds of names.
1206
01:08:04,497 --> 01:08:06,829
Sticks and stones
may break my bones,
1207
01:08:06,874 --> 01:08:08,614
but names will never hurt me.
1208
01:08:08,668 --> 01:08:12,206
Walter, they have
sticks and stones!
1209
01:08:19,804 --> 01:08:21,294
Look. I'm gonna call krojack,
1210
01:08:21,347 --> 01:08:22,757
and I'm gonna protest.
1211
01:08:31,024 --> 01:08:34,608
Burning in effigy?
1212
01:08:34,652 --> 01:08:36,938
Running two minutes late.
1213
01:08:36,988 --> 01:08:39,695
By the way,
how did the chanting go?
1214
01:08:39,741 --> 01:08:43,029
I mean, that's
absolutely unthinkable!
1215
01:08:43,077 --> 01:08:44,567
Burning in effigy!
1216
01:08:44,621 --> 01:08:46,452
Unthinkable!
1217
01:08:46,497 --> 01:08:49,159
Never fear.
The police will handle it.
1218
01:08:49,208 --> 01:08:51,039
See there?
They're making arrests.
1219
01:08:54,672 --> 01:08:56,537
I'd say it's practically
all over now.
1220
01:08:56,591 --> 01:08:57,735
Yeah, and I'd say
we should be in the cellar.
1221
01:08:57,759 --> 01:08:59,624
Nonsense! We're Americans!
1222
01:08:59,677 --> 01:09:02,419
It's our duty to show them
that we cannot be intimidated.
1223
01:09:07,769 --> 01:09:10,385
- They're trying to hurt us!
- Don't panic! Don't panic!
1224
01:09:10,438 --> 01:09:13,430
Everybody remain calm.
1225
01:09:14,484 --> 01:09:15,519
Now panic!
1226
01:09:20,865 --> 01:09:24,904
What have you got
in mind for next year, the gaza strip?
1227
01:09:27,747 --> 01:09:29,988
What's this?
1228
01:09:30,041 --> 01:09:31,997
It's an inkwell.
What do you think it is?
1229
01:09:32,043 --> 01:09:33,783
Don't yell at your
only daughter, Walter.
1230
01:09:33,836 --> 01:09:36,669
How could she know?
She grew up on ballpoints.
1231
01:09:37,924 --> 01:09:40,210
Let's go see the fun.
1232
01:09:40,259 --> 01:09:43,751
Comrade krojack, you must stop mishkin
and the bomb.
1233
01:09:43,805 --> 01:09:45,796
We just got a report on the spies.
1234
01:09:45,848 --> 01:09:48,055
They're not spies.
1235
01:09:48,101 --> 01:09:50,057
- Not spies?
- Not spies.
1236
01:09:50,603 --> 01:09:53,060
- Not spies?
- Not spies.
1237
01:09:53,606 --> 01:09:55,221
- Not spies?
- Not spies.
1238
01:09:55,274 --> 01:09:57,230
He is a caterer like he said.
1239
01:09:57,276 --> 01:09:59,517
Completely innocent.
1240
01:10:01,322 --> 01:10:04,530
- Positive?
- Positive.
1241
01:10:07,495 --> 01:10:09,702
What is the difference?
1242
01:10:09,747 --> 01:10:11,829
We'll get them anyway.
1243
01:10:30,184 --> 01:10:33,176
I think they've broken through
the outer gates.
1244
01:10:33,271 --> 01:10:36,058
But they won't
get inside, will they?
1245
01:10:36,107 --> 01:10:38,974
On my waxed floors?
They better not.
1246
01:11:10,349 --> 01:11:12,180
It sounds like it's all over.
1247
01:11:12,226 --> 01:11:15,468
God bless
the brutal secret police.
1248
01:11:15,521 --> 01:11:17,762
Hey. What's this?
1249
01:11:17,815 --> 01:11:19,021
Hold it!
1250
01:11:21,986 --> 01:11:24,068
Careful.
1251
01:11:24,113 --> 01:11:25,444
It's a bomb.
1252
01:11:40,046 --> 01:11:41,126
Stop!
1253
01:11:43,341 --> 01:11:45,127
Don't move.
1254
01:11:45,176 --> 01:11:46,461
Don't put it down.
1255
01:11:48,054 --> 01:11:50,090
Can I get up?
1256
01:11:51,098 --> 01:11:54,761
Careful, easy.
1257
01:12:04,695 --> 01:12:05,810
Take it.
1258
01:12:05,863 --> 01:12:07,819
I'm sorry. I can't.
1259
01:12:10,660 --> 01:12:13,276
The... the slightest
jar of that thing,
1260
01:12:13,371 --> 01:12:15,987
this whole place is
gonna go sky-high.
1261
01:12:16,040 --> 01:12:17,826
Walter, keep calm.
1262
01:12:17,875 --> 01:12:23,290
Now I'm gonna try
and dismantle it.
1263
01:12:23,297 --> 01:12:25,003
I've had experience
with these things.
1264
01:12:25,049 --> 01:12:27,665
A lot of experience?
1265
01:12:27,718 --> 01:12:29,379
Some.
1266
01:12:30,596 --> 01:12:33,008
Now I'm gonna need a screwdriver.
1267
01:12:33,057 --> 01:12:34,297
What size?
1268
01:12:36,561 --> 01:12:38,097
Move your feet.
1269
01:12:39,772 --> 01:12:41,228
Well, I brought these along.
1270
01:12:41,274 --> 01:12:43,765
I heard about
the plumbing over here.
1271
01:12:45,653 --> 01:12:48,736
A... a medium. Small, small.
1272
01:12:55,288 --> 01:12:58,530
I want everybody
to leave the room.
1273
01:12:59,792 --> 01:13:02,579
Kilroy, will you get...
1274
01:13:02,628 --> 01:13:05,461
Will you get back here
and take the ladies out?
1275
01:13:08,009 --> 01:13:11,092
Well, let's go.
You heard what he said.
1276
01:13:11,137 --> 01:13:15,176
I can't move.
I'm not allowed to jar.
1277
01:13:15,224 --> 01:13:16,805
Come, ladies. There's no sense
1278
01:13:16,851 --> 01:13:18,967
in all of us being
torn limb from limb.
1279
01:13:21,105 --> 01:13:23,096
You go, Susan.
I'm staying with your father.
1280
01:13:23,149 --> 01:13:24,559
We came on the family plan.
1281
01:13:24,609 --> 01:13:26,725
We'll go that way.
1282
01:13:26,777 --> 01:13:29,894
Get out of here, Marion.
You're making my thigh itch.
1283
01:13:29,947 --> 01:13:31,062
Please, Mrs. hollander.
1284
01:13:31,115 --> 01:13:32,605
Now go ahead, screwdrive.
1285
01:13:32,658 --> 01:13:35,024
I sat with him through
two weeks of the mumps.
1286
01:13:35,077 --> 01:13:37,193
This couldn't be any worse.
1287
01:13:55,723 --> 01:13:57,805
Stop trembling.
1288
01:13:57,850 --> 01:14:01,593
Walter, don't hold that
so close to your stomach.
1289
01:14:04,690 --> 01:14:06,681
I think I'm going to belch.
1290
01:14:10,112 --> 01:14:11,147
Dear, have a tummy.
1291
01:14:27,380 --> 01:14:28,620
Would you hurry up?
1292
01:14:28,673 --> 01:14:32,416
Would you, plea...
Walter, be patient.
1293
01:14:32,426 --> 01:14:35,839
I got to go to the bathroom.
1294
01:14:39,016 --> 01:14:40,347
Would you hold this?
1295
01:15:19,598 --> 01:15:20,963
It's disarmed.
1296
01:15:23,019 --> 01:15:24,759
You can relax, sir.
1297
01:15:36,073 --> 01:15:39,236
Are you quite sure
that thing is completely safe?
1298
01:15:39,285 --> 01:15:40,741
Completely safe.
1299
01:15:40,745 --> 01:15:42,451
When it comes to bombs...
1300
01:15:42,496 --> 01:15:44,862
I know exactly what I'm doing.
1301
01:15:55,718 --> 01:15:57,049
Come in.
1302
01:15:59,263 --> 01:16:02,596
- Hi.
- Hi.
1303
01:16:04,060 --> 01:16:05,516
Did you sleep all right?
1304
01:16:05,519 --> 01:16:07,760
Naw. I was up most of the night
1305
01:16:07,813 --> 01:16:10,395
just waiting for another explosion.
1306
01:16:10,441 --> 01:16:12,978
Yeah. I know what you mean.
1307
01:16:13,027 --> 01:16:14,267
If only my father were here.
1308
01:16:14,320 --> 01:16:15,935
He'd know what to do.
1309
01:16:15,988 --> 01:16:21,449
Axel, why couldn't
we plan an escape?
1310
01:16:21,452 --> 01:16:23,738
Axel, we can do it.
1311
01:16:23,788 --> 01:16:25,073
Susan, you're nuts.
1312
01:16:25,122 --> 01:16:26,908
I know we can do it!
1313
01:16:26,957 --> 01:16:29,243
No. Ten minutes
after you try to escape,
1314
01:16:29,293 --> 01:16:31,625
I can picture krojack
wearing your father's shirt.
1315
01:16:31,670 --> 01:16:32,830
But they'll never catch us.
1316
01:16:32,880 --> 01:16:35,121
Susan, look. An escape requires
1317
01:16:35,174 --> 01:16:38,416
timing, coordination,
and good physical condition.
1318
01:16:38,469 --> 01:16:41,552
Your father gets out
of breath if I ask him to pass the salt.
1319
01:16:41,555 --> 01:16:44,763
Axel, for once, take the initiative.
1320
01:16:44,809 --> 01:16:46,970
Don't let things happen to you.
1321
01:16:47,019 --> 01:16:49,260
Susan. Together, we can do it.
1322
01:16:49,313 --> 01:16:51,099
Wait a minute, Susan.
Will you be reasonable?
1323
01:16:51,148 --> 01:16:54,140
I'm with the foreign service,
not the CIA.
1324
01:16:54,193 --> 01:16:56,559
That's it.
1325
01:16:56,570 --> 01:16:58,231
The CIA.
1326
01:16:58,280 --> 01:16:59,941
Look. If you're talking
about a escape,
1327
01:16:59,990 --> 01:17:01,776
you're talking to the wrong guy.
1328
01:17:01,826 --> 01:17:04,158
I don't escape.
That's not my field.
1329
01:17:04,203 --> 01:17:06,239
When I enter a place, I stay.
1330
01:17:06,288 --> 01:17:08,779
You are a coward!
1331
01:17:08,833 --> 01:17:10,118
That's what you are!
1332
01:17:10,167 --> 01:17:13,000
You are a coward!
1333
01:17:13,045 --> 01:17:16,663
Marion, have you ever
seen a man with a hernia
1334
01:17:16,715 --> 01:17:18,421
run from a tank?
1335
01:17:20,553 --> 01:17:23,920
You want your daughter to get back
to Donald, don't you?
1336
01:17:27,226 --> 01:17:28,887
Bring on the CIA.
1337
01:17:32,982 --> 01:17:36,019
I handle the local CIA around here.
1338
01:17:36,068 --> 01:17:38,024
Go ahead, Mr. mirik.
1339
01:17:38,028 --> 01:17:40,314
Well, I think we're
gonna need identification
1340
01:17:40,364 --> 01:17:43,527
for a party of three.
1341
01:17:43,576 --> 01:17:44,986
Uh, let's see. We have...
1342
01:17:45,035 --> 01:17:48,152
Three bandini” brothers, acrobats.
1343
01:17:52,459 --> 01:17:55,041
Oh, here we go. Here we go.
1344
01:17:55,087 --> 01:17:58,671
Mr. and Mrs. John Randall and son.
1345
01:17:58,716 --> 01:18:01,628
Our son happens to be a girl.
1346
01:18:03,012 --> 01:18:05,344
Walter, don't make trouble.
1347
01:18:05,389 --> 01:18:07,380
Well, you just dress her like a boy.
1348
01:18:07,433 --> 01:18:10,425
Ok. You are
the Randall family now.
1349
01:18:10,477 --> 01:18:13,640
Here's your passports.
You have identification,
1350
01:18:13,731 --> 01:18:15,767
all other pertinent information,
1351
01:18:15,816 --> 01:18:17,977
you know, stuff like that there.
1352
01:18:18,027 --> 01:18:20,359
Well, how do they get out
of the embassy building?
1353
01:18:20,404 --> 01:18:24,272
Well, I figured
a perfect setup would be
1354
01:18:24,325 --> 01:18:29,740
you'd throw a diplomats party
in there tomorrow afternoon.
1355
01:18:29,747 --> 01:18:31,237
Aha. Ok. I'll arrange that.
1356
01:18:31,248 --> 01:18:34,957
Tomorrow afternoon? I'll have
to start dusting right away.
1357
01:18:35,002 --> 01:18:39,211
And when the guests start leaving,
you slip out with them.
1358
01:18:39,256 --> 01:18:40,871
We take it from there.
1359
01:18:40,925 --> 01:18:42,611
Ok. I'll get the invitations out
right away.
1360
01:18:42,635 --> 01:18:45,217
- It sounds just perfect.
- Right.
1361
01:18:45,262 --> 01:18:47,002
Well, Mr. hollander?
1362
01:18:47,056 --> 01:18:48,296
Now do you feel more secure
1363
01:18:48,349 --> 01:18:50,340
about the United States government?
1364
01:18:50,392 --> 01:18:52,053
Ahem.
1365
01:19:15,125 --> 01:19:17,582
All right now. Just once more.
Who are you?
1366
01:19:17,628 --> 01:19:19,914
I'm John Randall,
I live in Washington, D.C.,
1367
01:19:19,964 --> 01:19:22,125
and I work for the department
of the interior.
1368
01:19:22,174 --> 01:19:24,335
I'm married,
and I have 4 children.
1369
01:19:24,385 --> 01:19:25,966
I was born in Milwaukee,
Wisconsin.
1370
01:19:26,011 --> 01:19:28,923
I went to school in California
and majored in agriculture.
1371
01:19:28,973 --> 01:19:31,089
I entered the government
under Roosevelt.
1372
01:19:31,141 --> 01:19:32,802
Who's gonna ask me
these questions?
1373
01:19:32,851 --> 01:19:34,037
Mr. hollander, if you're stopped,
1374
01:19:34,061 --> 01:19:35,676
your answers must be consistent.
1375
01:19:35,729 --> 01:19:37,685
Nobody's gonna believe I'm
Sam Willard.
1376
01:19:37,731 --> 01:19:39,722
John Randall.
1377
01:19:39,733 --> 01:19:41,769
What are you doing in Europe?
1378
01:19:41,819 --> 01:19:43,025
I'm making a tour.
1379
01:19:43,070 --> 01:19:46,107
We're going all over Europe
and see all the stuff.
1380
01:19:46,156 --> 01:19:48,943
I'm on a tour.
1381
01:19:48,993 --> 01:19:50,278
You can't wear the gray.
1382
01:19:50,327 --> 01:19:52,067
You better wear
the dark blue flannel.
1383
01:19:52,121 --> 01:19:54,112
Blue is for parties.
1384
01:19:54,164 --> 01:19:55,620
Gray here is for escaping.
1385
01:19:55,666 --> 01:19:57,031
I'm wearing the gray.
1386
01:19:57,084 --> 01:19:58,870
What are you doing in Europe?
1387
01:19:58,919 --> 01:20:00,534
And I'm his lovely wife Carmen.
1388
01:20:00,587 --> 01:20:04,500
I'm also the former miss Wisconsin
of 1948.
1389
01:20:04,508 --> 01:20:06,590
They believe that,
we win the cold war.
1390
01:20:06,635 --> 01:20:08,296
Where are you staying?
1391
01:20:11,515 --> 01:20:14,131
The grand hotel for a week,
and then we fly to Malaysia.
1392
01:20:14,184 --> 01:20:18,143
Walter, I am telling you
the blue suit.
1393
01:20:18,188 --> 01:20:19,974
I'm wearing the gray.
1394
01:20:20,024 --> 01:20:22,015
All right.
1395
01:20:22,067 --> 01:20:24,934
You don't dress, I don't escape.
1396
01:20:38,167 --> 01:20:40,158
My girdle's killing me.
1397
01:20:40,210 --> 01:20:42,121
So is mine.
1398
01:20:42,421 --> 01:20:44,707
Have you ever fired a pistol?
1399
01:20:44,757 --> 01:20:45,792
A pistol?
1400
01:20:46,884 --> 01:20:50,342
How often is there a gunfight
in the catering business?
1401
01:20:51,555 --> 01:20:53,466
It's really quite safe.
1402
01:20:53,515 --> 01:20:57,884
It can't possibly fire
unless you pull that trigger.
1403
01:20:57,895 --> 01:21:00,011
Boy, that's a beauty.
1404
01:21:00,064 --> 01:21:02,646
I don't think
he should carry that gun.
1405
01:21:02,691 --> 01:21:04,932
They're dangerous,
and he doesn't know how to use one.
1406
01:21:04,985 --> 01:21:06,816
I know how to use one.
1407
01:21:06,904 --> 01:21:08,519
When did you ever use a gun?
1408
01:21:08,572 --> 01:21:10,062
Plenty of times. Don't worry.
1409
01:21:10,074 --> 01:21:11,359
When?
1410
01:21:11,408 --> 01:21:14,241
I want to carry it.
1411
01:21:14,286 --> 01:21:16,402
If he carries that gun, I don't go.
1412
01:21:16,455 --> 01:21:20,073
Marion, why do you
want to put a damper on everything?
1413
01:21:20,125 --> 01:21:22,036
All right! All right! Take it,
1414
01:21:22,086 --> 01:21:24,953
but if you're gonna kill yourself,
don't come crying to me!
1415
01:21:25,005 --> 01:21:27,542
All right, now. Look.
The last step.
1416
01:21:27,591 --> 01:21:30,583
What do you do
when you leave here?
1417
01:21:30,636 --> 01:21:31,796
Well...
1418
01:21:32,971 --> 01:21:34,381
We get into the Randall car.
1419
01:21:34,431 --> 01:21:37,594
The chauffeur takes us to the park,
the CIA man meets us there.
1420
01:21:37,643 --> 01:21:39,679
The password is
“the grass is green.”
1421
01:21:39,728 --> 01:21:41,264
Right, right. Ok.
1422
01:21:41,313 --> 01:21:44,851
Ok. Now we'll meet
in my room when it's time to go.
1423
01:21:44,858 --> 01:21:46,223
Good luck.
1424
01:21:58,372 --> 01:22:01,079
You dirty rat.
1425
01:22:03,377 --> 01:22:04,913
The blue flannel.
1426
01:22:35,159 --> 01:22:36,274
All set?
1427
01:22:38,036 --> 01:22:39,492
People are starting to leave.
1428
01:22:39,538 --> 01:22:40,573
It's time.
1429
01:22:40,622 --> 01:22:41,987
- Where's Susan?
- Well, I...
1430
01:22:50,549 --> 01:22:53,916
Susan! My son!
1431
01:22:55,554 --> 01:22:56,839
My god!
1432
01:23:16,950 --> 01:23:19,111
Oh. The dirty...
1433
01:23:24,708 --> 01:23:27,120
I think we're getting
out of here just in time.
1434
01:23:27,169 --> 01:23:29,034
Well, y-you head for the office.
1435
01:23:29,087 --> 01:23:30,827
He'll... uh, she'll follow.
1436
01:23:30,881 --> 01:23:32,872
Remember, you're a boy.
1437
01:23:32,925 --> 01:23:34,335
Act like one.
1438
01:23:40,807 --> 01:23:42,297
Uh, Mr. magee.
1439
01:23:49,149 --> 01:23:51,356
That's the state department
for you.
1440
01:23:56,949 --> 01:23:59,531
You know, Walter,
I can tell you're carrying a gun.
1441
01:23:59,576 --> 01:24:00,907
Never.
1442
01:24:00,953 --> 01:24:02,944
There's a big bulge
around your middle.
1443
01:24:02,996 --> 01:24:04,202
That's the way I'm built.
1444
01:24:04,248 --> 01:24:06,910
That's not the way you're built.
You don't have a handle.
1445
01:24:06,959 --> 01:24:08,699
Will you leave me alone?
1446
01:24:08,752 --> 01:24:12,085
Walter, people
are staring at your bulge.
1447
01:24:12,130 --> 01:24:15,588
J foggy day in London town j
1448
01:24:15,634 --> 01:24:17,545
we haven't met, have we?
1449
01:24:17,594 --> 01:24:19,550
Oh. I'm John Randall.
1450
01:24:19,596 --> 01:24:20,961
I'm from Washington, D.C.
1451
01:24:21,014 --> 01:24:23,005
I work for the department
of the interior.
1452
01:24:23,100 --> 01:24:25,011
I'm married and have 4 children.
1453
01:24:25,018 --> 01:24:26,804
I was born
in Milwaukee, Wisconsin,
1454
01:24:26,853 --> 01:24:29,310
went to school in California,
majored in agriculture.
1455
01:24:29,356 --> 01:24:31,563
I entered the government
under the Roosevelt regime.
1456
01:24:31,608 --> 01:24:33,018
My name is John Randall.
1457
01:24:33,026 --> 01:24:35,517
And I'm his lovely wife Carmen.
1458
01:24:35,571 --> 01:24:36,856
- How do you do?
- Charmed.
1459
01:24:36,905 --> 01:24:38,816
Yasin kasnar here,
1460
01:24:38,865 --> 01:24:42,653
and this is countess wilhelmina bordoni.
1461
01:24:42,703 --> 01:24:44,409
Charmed.
1462
01:24:44,454 --> 01:24:47,571
This wine is extraordinary.
Have you tasted it?
1463
01:24:47,624 --> 01:24:50,036
No, I haven't.
1464
01:24:55,299 --> 01:24:57,210
Rather diffident and ethereal.
1465
01:24:57,259 --> 01:24:59,250
Wouldn't you say so, Mr. Randall?
1466
01:24:59,303 --> 01:25:03,672
Well, I'd say that
the bouquet was subtly demure
1467
01:25:03,724 --> 01:25:05,305
and playfully articulate.
1468
01:25:05,350 --> 01:25:07,636
I got that from a bottle of ketchup.
1469
01:25:07,686 --> 01:25:08,686
Charming.
1470
01:25:11,690 --> 01:25:13,180
How long have you been here?
1471
01:25:13,233 --> 01:25:15,315
- Two weeks.
- Three day...
1472
01:25:15,360 --> 01:25:17,191
- Three days.
- Two week...
1473
01:25:17,237 --> 01:25:19,228
We've been here
two weeks and three days.
1474
01:25:20,574 --> 01:25:23,156
- We're staying at the big...
- I'm at the strand hotel.
1475
01:25:23,201 --> 01:25:26,034
- It's very nice.
- 1 don't like it.
1476
01:25:26,079 --> 01:25:27,319
We... it's getting late.
1477
01:25:27,372 --> 01:25:29,454
We must be going. Come, Walter.
1478
01:25:29,499 --> 01:25:31,114
Walter?
1479
01:25:31,168 --> 01:25:33,784
Uh... oh. Isn't that amusing?
1480
01:25:33,837 --> 01:25:35,077
She doesn't even know my name.
1481
01:25:35,172 --> 01:25:37,879
- It's Sam Randall.
- John.
1482
01:25:37,924 --> 01:25:39,630
Yes. John Sam.
1483
01:25:39,676 --> 01:25:42,088
Back in Washington,
that makes for a lot of trouble.
1484
01:25:42,179 --> 01:25:44,420
They get my name mixed up
with lyndon Johnson,
1485
01:25:44,473 --> 01:25:47,340
you know, Johnson, Sam John.
1486
01:25:47,392 --> 01:25:49,053
Well, let's be going.
1487
01:25:49,102 --> 01:25:50,512
We're off to afskhanistan.
1488
01:25:50,562 --> 01:25:52,268
Tunisia.
1489
01:25:52,314 --> 01:25:54,805
Yeah. Afskhanistan, Tunisia.
1490
01:25:54,858 --> 01:25:57,349
- Well, let's go, Marion.
- Marion?
1491
01:25:57,402 --> 01:25:59,734
I'm his lovely wife Carmen.
1492
01:25:59,780 --> 01:26:02,192
- Charming.
- Yes, goodbye.
1493
01:26:06,703 --> 01:26:12,323
Well, Marion, this is it.
1494
01:26:12,376 --> 01:26:14,958
Walter, if anything happens,
I want you to know...
1495
01:26:15,003 --> 01:26:16,994
Oh, stop talking about that.
1496
01:26:17,047 --> 01:26:19,003
What's the worst
thing could happen to us?
1497
01:26:19,049 --> 01:26:22,007
We get caught. Big deal.
1498
01:26:22,052 --> 01:26:25,169
They give us a fast trial,
torture us a little bit.
1499
01:26:25,222 --> 01:26:26,712
All we have to remember to do
1500
01:26:26,765 --> 01:26:30,349
is to bite down hard
on that cyanide capsule.
1501
01:26:30,394 --> 01:26:34,683
Marion, have I ever let you down?
1502
01:26:34,731 --> 01:26:38,269
I know I'm not the easiest man
in the world to get along with.
1503
01:26:38,318 --> 01:26:41,731
As a matter of fact,
you might be amazed,
1504
01:26:41,738 --> 01:26:44,855
but there are plenty of women
who might think I was unpleasant.
1505
01:26:44,908 --> 01:26:47,900
- No!
- Honest.
1506
01:26:54,167 --> 01:26:58,456
Mrs. hollander,
I'm the luckiest guy alive.
1507
01:27:00,382 --> 01:27:01,667
Everybody set?
1508
01:27:03,760 --> 01:27:05,405
Ok. Now, remember,
once you're past the guards,
1509
01:27:05,429 --> 01:27:07,465
don't stop for anybody.
1510
01:27:07,514 --> 01:27:09,004
Ok. Let's go.
1511
01:27:09,057 --> 01:27:12,845
Good evening. Lovely party.
1512
01:27:15,439 --> 01:27:18,021
Oh, Mr. hollander.
1513
01:27:18,066 --> 01:27:22,059
Oh, no, no. I mean, Mr. Randall
of Milwaukee.
1514
01:27:22,112 --> 01:27:23,693
And his lovely wife Carmen.
1515
01:27:23,739 --> 01:27:25,354
We were just leaving.
1516
01:27:26,700 --> 01:27:30,568
But I don't see how
you can be leaving, madam x.
1517
01:27:30,620 --> 01:27:32,611
You see, we have taken your car.
1518
01:27:32,664 --> 01:27:35,952
Ow! Dad!
1519
01:27:36,001 --> 01:27:38,333
Dad, listen.
1520
01:27:38,378 --> 01:27:40,369
Krojack broke in here,
and he's trying to take...
1521
01:27:40,422 --> 01:27:42,458
He didn't break in.
I invited him.
1522
01:27:42,507 --> 01:27:44,213
You invited him?
1523
01:27:44,217 --> 01:27:46,833
You are the hollanders, I presume.
1524
01:27:46,887 --> 01:27:48,002
That's right.
1525
01:27:48,054 --> 01:27:50,295
Yes, and this
is my lovely son Susan.
1526
01:27:50,348 --> 01:27:52,179
Oh, he's really a girl.
1527
01:27:52,225 --> 01:27:55,433
Our other boy's at camp tonawanda
until Tuesday.
1528
01:27:55,479 --> 01:27:57,206
You'll be happy to learn
that we've completed
1529
01:27:57,230 --> 01:27:58,811
arrangements for your release.
1530
01:27:58,857 --> 01:28:01,394
Now you're talking.
1531
01:28:02,652 --> 01:28:04,188
Arrangements? What arrangements?
1532
01:28:04,237 --> 01:28:06,444
In the interest of justice,
they'll stand trial.
1533
01:28:06,490 --> 01:28:07,717
They'll be given
a heavy sentence.
1534
01:28:07,741 --> 01:28:09,447
I will intervene.
1535
01:28:09,493 --> 01:28:12,360
It will be changed to a severe reprimand
and a token sentence,
1536
01:28:12,412 --> 01:28:13,822
30 days at the most.
1537
01:28:13,872 --> 01:28:15,487
30 days?
1538
01:28:15,540 --> 01:28:17,701
- 30 days?
- 30 days?
1539
01:28:17,751 --> 01:28:19,958
There are some waivers
they'll have to sign.
1540
01:28:20,003 --> 01:28:21,743
30 days?
1541
01:28:21,797 --> 01:28:23,662
Dad, you can't do this to...
1542
01:28:25,467 --> 01:28:27,958
Axel, stay out.
This is a fair deal.
1543
01:28:28,011 --> 01:28:29,421
Krojack gets credit
for the arrest,
1544
01:28:29,471 --> 01:28:31,382
and he gives me back
that tape recording,
1545
01:28:31,431 --> 01:28:33,922
and he's also agreed to attack me
viciously in the press.
1546
01:28:33,975 --> 01:28:36,808
Now that alone will win
the governorship for me in a landslide.
1547
01:28:36,853 --> 01:28:38,247
Yeah, but, dad, what
about the hollanders?
1548
01:28:38,271 --> 01:28:39,415
They got the millman wedding,
1549
01:28:39,439 --> 01:28:41,225
Seth is in camp,
and Donald is waiting.
1550
01:28:41,274 --> 01:28:43,390
Oh. What's 30 days to them?
1551
01:28:49,282 --> 01:28:51,864
Let me get this straight.
1552
01:28:51,910 --> 01:28:53,616
You're gonna turn us
over to him?
1553
01:28:53,662 --> 01:28:56,404
Mr. hollander, it was not
an easy decision.
1554
01:28:56,456 --> 01:28:58,663
On the one hand,
we want to protect you,
1555
01:28:58,708 --> 01:29:00,369
and on the other,
we must protect
1556
01:29:00,418 --> 01:29:02,534
the best interests
of the United States.
1557
01:29:02,587 --> 01:29:04,373
I thought they
were the same thing.
1558
01:29:04,422 --> 01:29:07,539
I'm afraid you don't
understand these matters.
1559
01:29:07,592 --> 01:29:11,380
No, but I'm beginning
to understand.
1560
01:29:11,429 --> 01:29:13,044
You guys are beautiful.
1561
01:29:13,098 --> 01:29:15,760
You make all the goofs,
and someone else pays.
1562
01:29:15,809 --> 01:29:18,516
Mr. hollander, you've caused us
enough embarrassment.
1563
01:29:18,562 --> 01:29:21,725
Embarrassment? Is that
what we were to you,
1564
01:29:21,773 --> 01:29:22,933
an embarrassment?
1565
01:29:22,983 --> 01:29:24,393
That's quite enough!
1566
01:29:24,401 --> 01:29:25,891
Now I'm ordering you fo...
1567
01:29:25,902 --> 01:29:28,234
Ordering? You're ordering me?
1568
01:29:29,322 --> 01:29:31,233
I think you got things backwards.
1569
01:29:31,283 --> 01:29:34,195
I'm a taxpayer.
I don't work for you.
1570
01:29:34,244 --> 01:29:36,235
You work for me,
1571
01:29:36,288 --> 01:29:38,119
and if you were working
for me as a caterer,
1572
01:29:38,164 --> 01:29:40,450
you wouldn't last
through the first course.
1573
01:29:40,500 --> 01:29:44,413
If you're quite finished,
I have a police wagon waiting outside.
1574
01:29:44,462 --> 01:29:48,956
Walter, your bulge,
it's worse than ever.
1575
01:29:51,469 --> 01:29:54,586
Now you stand
right where you are.
1576
01:29:54,639 --> 01:29:57,676
Oh, here's that
grimy little finger again.
1577
01:29:57,726 --> 01:29:59,933
Wrong again, buster.
1578
01:29:59,978 --> 01:30:01,263
Now get in that closet.
1579
01:30:01,313 --> 01:30:03,053
We're getting out of here.
1580
01:30:03,106 --> 01:30:04,141
Move!
1581
01:30:06,776 --> 01:30:07,776
Reason with him.
1582
01:30:07,819 --> 01:30:09,150
- Dad, I can't.
- Don't argue!
1583
01:30:09,195 --> 01:30:11,937
For once in your life,
do something right!
1584
01:30:11,990 --> 01:30:14,572
Yeah. Yeah, I think I should.
1585
01:30:20,040 --> 01:30:22,247
Will you get out of there?
1586
01:30:23,668 --> 01:30:25,784
What a team! Whoo!
1587
01:30:25,837 --> 01:30:27,373
All right.
Let's get out of here.
1588
01:30:27,380 --> 01:30:30,213
In what? They took
the randalls' car.
1589
01:30:30,258 --> 01:30:32,795
- That's right.
- Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
1590
01:30:32,844 --> 01:30:34,505
There's krojack's paddy wagon.
1591
01:30:34,554 --> 01:30:38,172
Look. I can put this on
and pretend to be him...
1592
01:30:38,224 --> 01:30:39,509
Oh, no, no, no. Wait a minute.
1593
01:30:39,559 --> 01:30:40,870
That's no good.
I don't speak the language.
1594
01:30:40,894 --> 01:30:42,509
We'll never get past the guards.
1595
01:30:56,117 --> 01:30:59,234
I'm coming along
to see that your rights are protected.
1596
01:31:07,671 --> 01:31:08,877
Mr. ambassador?
1597
01:31:18,056 --> 01:31:20,638
- To where?
- People's park,
1598
01:31:20,684 --> 01:31:22,720
to look for an organ grinder.
1599
01:31:58,555 --> 01:32:00,261
- They're not here!
- They're not here?
1600
01:32:00,306 --> 01:32:01,591
- The bus!
- The bus!
1601
01:32:32,380 --> 01:32:33,870
Good afternoon, Mr. hollander.
1602
01:32:33,923 --> 01:32:36,209
You will proceed
to the interior railroad station.
1603
01:32:36,259 --> 01:32:38,716
Your contact there
will be the ticket agent.
1604
01:32:38,762 --> 01:32:41,720
This tape will self-destruct
in five seconds.
1605
01:33:52,710 --> 01:33:54,450
You know something?
I think this sofa
1606
01:33:54,504 --> 01:33:56,165
would look better over here.
1607
01:34:03,054 --> 01:34:05,010
We must be at the grand hotel.
1608
01:34:30,165 --> 01:34:31,245
Oh, isn't that nice?
1609
01:34:31,291 --> 01:34:32,810
The ambassador came
down to see us off.
1610
01:34:32,834 --> 01:34:33,994
Get back!
1611
01:34:37,380 --> 01:34:39,496
It's a trap. They got us.
1612
01:34:39,549 --> 01:34:41,335
Oh. We almost made it.
1613
01:34:41,384 --> 01:34:42,778
Wait. Wait a minute.
I got an idea. Come on.
1614
01:34:42,802 --> 01:34:43,917
Come here.
1615
01:34:53,271 --> 01:34:55,728
Have my wives come down yet?
1616
01:34:55,773 --> 01:34:59,061
No, sir, but their luggage
is in the luggage room there,
1617
01:34:59,110 --> 01:35:00,691
and your car's ready out front.
1618
01:35:01,738 --> 01:35:05,151
Sultan. Excuse me.
1619
01:35:05,200 --> 01:35:06,861
Would you come over here?
1620
01:35:57,293 --> 01:35:59,158
All right. Now what do we do?
1621
01:35:59,212 --> 01:36:01,669
We lost our contact.
1622
01:36:01,714 --> 01:36:02,714
Look!
1623
01:36:04,092 --> 01:36:05,548
There must be an airport near.
1624
01:36:15,019 --> 01:36:18,056
A plane! We got it made!
We got it made!
1625
01:36:25,989 --> 01:36:28,105
Where? Where?
1626
01:36:28,157 --> 01:36:29,613
There doesn't seem
to be any airport.
1627
01:36:29,659 --> 01:36:31,741
I can see that.
1628
01:36:31,828 --> 01:36:33,489
What now?
1629
01:36:33,538 --> 01:36:37,998
I don't know. There's hardly any
gas left in the car.
1630
01:36:38,042 --> 01:36:40,658
Zorkie, zorkie, zorkie.
1631
01:36:40,712 --> 01:36:43,749
This is where I was supposed
to escape six years ago.
1632
01:36:43,840 --> 01:36:47,173
I was told go to a little red barn.
1633
01:36:47,218 --> 01:36:50,426
A red barn?
Well, that's a red barn.
1634
01:36:50,471 --> 01:36:52,336
It's a red barn!
1635
01:37:10,908 --> 01:37:12,148
Hello, buddy.
1636
01:37:12,201 --> 01:37:13,737
Where was you?
1637
01:37:13,786 --> 01:37:15,401
I've been waiting for six years.
1638
01:37:17,040 --> 01:37:18,280
How many can you take?
1639
01:37:18,333 --> 01:37:22,042
Two, maybe three at the most.
1640
01:37:22,086 --> 01:37:24,042
You three go.
1641
01:37:24,088 --> 01:37:25,794
Let Susan stay here.
1642
01:37:25,798 --> 01:37:28,585
My daughter stay
here and go to jail?
1643
01:37:28,634 --> 01:37:30,625
Well, no, sir, not necessarily.
1644
01:37:30,678 --> 01:37:34,421
She could have
complete immunity...
1645
01:37:34,474 --> 01:37:37,386
As the wife of a diplomat.
1646
01:37:37,435 --> 01:37:40,051
What? Susan marry you?
1647
01:37:40,104 --> 01:37:42,311
You got to be
some kind of a nut!
1648
01:37:50,323 --> 01:37:51,938
Wait a minute. A ring.
We need a ring.
1649
01:37:51,991 --> 01:37:52,991
I got one.
1650
01:37:54,827 --> 01:37:56,237
Come on! Hurry up!
1651
01:37:56,245 --> 01:37:58,952
Hold that.
1652
01:37:58,998 --> 01:38:00,829
Oh, thank you very much.
1653
01:38:00,917 --> 01:38:02,123
Start, start.
1654
01:38:02,168 --> 01:38:07,538
Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.
1655
01:38:07,590 --> 01:38:09,376
“Dearly beloved.”
1656
01:38:09,425 --> 01:38:12,383
Ah. Dearly...
1657
01:38:18,684 --> 01:38:20,720
Well, congratulations, kids.
1658
01:38:20,770 --> 01:38:21,770
Thank you, dad.
1659
01:38:21,813 --> 01:38:23,769
- And good luck.
- Thank you, sir.
1660
01:38:23,815 --> 01:38:26,022
She's gonna need it.
1661
01:38:26,067 --> 01:38:28,183
All right, flash.
Up, up, and away.
1662
01:38:29,487 --> 01:38:32,320
- Does your plane have a radio?
- Yes.
1663
01:38:32,365 --> 01:38:34,009
Good. You can wire
your silverware pattern.
1664
01:38:34,033 --> 01:38:35,989
Bye, mommy.
1665
01:39:00,226 --> 01:39:03,093
Well, we made it.
1666
01:39:04,147 --> 01:39:05,182
Not yet, buddy.
1667
01:39:05,231 --> 01:39:07,347
We are losing altitude real fast.
1668
01:39:07,400 --> 01:39:10,938
We've got get rid
of all excess weight fast!
1669
01:39:10,987 --> 01:39:13,103
All right, Marion, unload.
1670
01:39:13,156 --> 01:39:14,396
Oh, Walter.
1671
01:39:14,449 --> 01:39:15,655
Unload!
1672
01:39:34,177 --> 01:39:36,543
J don't drink the water j
113772
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