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Did I tell you about that
time my cousin Bruce
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00:00:05,539 --> 00:00:06,816
didn't wanna go to school?
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00:00:06,840 --> 00:00:08,818
Why didn't he
wanna go to school?
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00:00:08,842 --> 00:00:11,821
That's just what my
Aunt Elsie said. I figured.
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00:00:11,845 --> 00:00:13,990
She said, "Bruce, why don't
you wanna go to school?
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Give me two reasons
why you don't wanna go."
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He said, "All right, you
want two good reasons
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00:00:17,951 --> 00:00:19,191
why I don't wanna go to school?
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00:00:20,755 --> 00:00:22,499
First of all, the
teachers don't like me.
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00:00:22,523 --> 00:00:24,533
And then, the
students don't like me."
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He said, "You wanna
give me two good reasons
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00:00:26,427 --> 00:00:28,538
why I should go to school?"
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She said, "Yes,
because you're 37,
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and you're the principal."
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00:00:34,568 --> 00:00:36,780
Welcome Back,
Kotter is recorded live
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00:00:36,804 --> 00:00:38,748
before a studio audience.
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00:00:46,246 --> 00:00:48,992
♪ Welcome back ♪
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00:00:49,016 --> 00:00:52,929
♪ Your dreams
Were your ticket out ♪
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00:00:52,953 --> 00:00:54,864
♪ Welcome back ♪
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00:00:54,888 --> 00:00:59,770
♪ To that same old place
That you laughed about ♪
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00:00:59,794 --> 00:01:01,804
♪ Well, the names
Have all changed ♪
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00:01:01,828 --> 00:01:04,006
♪ Since you hung around ♪
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00:01:04,030 --> 00:01:06,276
♪ But those dreams
Have remained ♪
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00:01:06,300 --> 00:01:08,745
♪ And they've turned around ♪
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00:01:08,769 --> 00:01:10,846
♪ Who'd have thought
They'd lead ya ♪
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00:01:10,870 --> 00:01:13,015
♪ Who'd have thought
They'd lead ya ♪
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00:01:13,039 --> 00:01:15,218
♪ Back here Where we need ya? ♪
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00:01:15,242 --> 00:01:16,753
♪ Back here Where we need ya? ♪
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00:01:16,777 --> 00:01:18,888
♪ Yeah, we tease him a lot ♪
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♪ 'Cause we've got
him On the spot ♪
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♪ Welcome back ♪
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00:01:22,950 --> 00:01:25,228
♪ Welcome back Welcome back ♪
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♪ Welcome back ♪
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"My Last Will and Testimony.
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"I, Arnold Horshack...
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00:01:56,684 --> 00:02:00,385
being of sound mind and body..."
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00:02:02,356 --> 00:02:04,568
most of the time
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"do hereby bequeath all
my worldly possessions..."
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00:02:08,329 --> 00:02:09,329
Arnold.
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00:02:11,765 --> 00:02:12,975
Arnold, what are you doing?
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00:02:12,999 --> 00:02:14,710
Why you making out a will?
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00:02:14,734 --> 00:02:16,668
You still look almost lifelike.
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00:02:18,171 --> 00:02:19,715
Mr. Kotter,
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00:02:19,739 --> 00:02:22,385
these are the last
earthly documents
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00:02:22,409 --> 00:02:24,843
of Arnold Dingfelder Horshack.
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00:02:26,446 --> 00:02:28,646
And I even left you something.
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00:02:30,551 --> 00:02:31,895
Do me a favor, Arnold.
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00:02:31,919 --> 00:02:34,086
Don't leave me the Dingfelder.
49
00:02:35,222 --> 00:02:37,033
Oh, actually, I had you down
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00:02:37,057 --> 00:02:40,492
for my collection of
celebrity fingernails.
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00:02:42,729 --> 00:02:43,973
Arnold, this is ridiculous.
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00:02:43,997 --> 00:02:45,841
Why are you making
out a will all of a sudden?
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00:02:45,865 --> 00:02:47,844
Oh, Mr. Kotter.
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00:02:47,868 --> 00:02:52,148
Lest you forget, next
week is exam week.
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00:02:52,172 --> 00:02:53,950
Arnold. Arnold.
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00:02:53,974 --> 00:02:55,818
You are planning to
do away with yourself
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00:02:55,842 --> 00:02:57,253
to get out of exams?
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00:02:57,277 --> 00:03:00,156
Oh, Mr. Kotter, I won't have to.
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00:03:00,180 --> 00:03:03,181
Once my grades come
in, my father will kill me.
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00:03:06,053 --> 00:03:07,897
Good morning, good
morning, good morning.
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00:03:07,921 --> 00:03:09,399
Hello, Mr. Kotter. Good morning.
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00:03:09,423 --> 00:03:12,357
Now... Hey,
Mr. Kotter, I got a note.
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00:03:14,127 --> 00:03:15,372
Epstein's got a note.
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00:03:15,396 --> 00:03:16,973
Right.
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00:03:16,997 --> 00:03:19,642
"Dear Mr. Kotter,
please excuse Juan
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00:03:19,666 --> 00:03:21,043
"from his exams next week.
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00:03:21,067 --> 00:03:22,479
"He will, of course...
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00:03:22,503 --> 00:03:26,171
"be attending the
Ecumenical Council in Rome."
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00:03:30,110 --> 00:03:31,321
Juan... Huh?
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00:03:31,345 --> 00:03:34,190
The Ecumenical Council
took place 10 years ago.
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00:03:34,214 --> 00:03:35,425
I know that.
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00:03:35,449 --> 00:03:37,882
I got a note to the Pope
telling him why I'm late.
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00:03:39,219 --> 00:03:40,630
I say, "Dear Mr. Holiness...
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00:03:41,755 --> 00:03:43,733
"please excuse Juan
for being 10 years late
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00:03:43,757 --> 00:03:44,801
"to the Ecumenical..."
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00:03:44,825 --> 00:03:46,302
Will you sit down?!
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00:03:46,326 --> 00:03:48,204
Sit down.
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00:03:48,228 --> 00:03:50,307
I don't know what's the
matter with you people.
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00:03:50,331 --> 00:03:52,375
Taking exams is no big thing.
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00:03:52,399 --> 00:03:54,944
You study, you pass. Simple.
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00:03:54,968 --> 00:03:57,413
Boy... to hear
you talk about it,
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00:03:57,437 --> 00:03:59,882
tests are more fun
than Betty Provetti.
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00:04:02,042 --> 00:04:03,687
Look, exam week
is the perfect chance
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00:04:03,711 --> 00:04:05,121
to prove that you're learning.
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00:04:05,145 --> 00:04:07,579
It's also the perfect chance
to prove we're flunking.
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00:04:09,516 --> 00:04:13,451
All this talk about exams is
turning my mood ring black.
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00:04:18,225 --> 00:04:19,402
Kotter.
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00:04:19,426 --> 00:04:21,826
Could I, uh, see
you for a moment?
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00:04:23,330 --> 00:04:25,241
That look.
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00:04:25,265 --> 00:04:27,644
Mr. Woodman, I
remember that look.
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00:04:27,668 --> 00:04:29,979
I have not seen
that look since...
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00:04:30,003 --> 00:04:31,347
the day I graduated,
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00:04:31,371 --> 00:04:33,639
and you thought that
you'd never see me again.
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00:04:35,009 --> 00:04:37,620
It's funny you should
mention that, Kotter.
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00:04:37,644 --> 00:04:38,988
In fact, it's hilarious.
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00:04:39,012 --> 00:04:40,724
Would you come outside?
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00:04:40,748 --> 00:04:42,625
All right, occupy your time.
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00:04:42,649 --> 00:04:45,083
Do something
unusual. Open a book.
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00:04:46,920 --> 00:04:48,164
Mr. Woodman, what's this...
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00:04:48,188 --> 00:04:50,633
Now, let me st... Start
at the beginning, Kotter,
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00:04:50,657 --> 00:04:52,735
and I wanna go slow. I'm
gonna enjoy this too much
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00:04:52,759 --> 00:04:55,238
to just blurt it
out all at once.
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00:04:55,262 --> 00:04:56,372
Now, uh...
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00:04:56,396 --> 00:04:58,830
do you know what
this is, Kotter?
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00:05:00,534 --> 00:05:01,610
Yes, Mr. Woodman,
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00:05:01,634 --> 00:05:03,568
that's a graph
of your love life.
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00:05:09,342 --> 00:05:10,386
Seems, uh...
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00:05:10,410 --> 00:05:12,088
Seems you reached
your peak right here,
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00:05:12,112 --> 00:05:14,545
October 13th, 1942.
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00:05:16,150 --> 00:05:18,627
Just keep up the jokes, Kotter.
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00:05:18,651 --> 00:05:20,830
It happens to be
a graph plotting
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00:05:20,854 --> 00:05:24,634
final examination results
for the past 10 years.
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00:05:24,658 --> 00:05:25,735
Now, this...
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00:05:25,759 --> 00:05:29,094
This of course down
here is your Sweathogs.
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00:05:30,664 --> 00:05:32,542
Now, nowhere in the records
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00:05:32,566 --> 00:05:35,478
of this institution
does it say...
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00:05:35,502 --> 00:05:37,680
that a student
named Gabriel Kotter
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ever took exams
in his senior year.
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00:05:44,477 --> 00:05:46,222
This whole thing's
a joke, right?
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00:05:46,246 --> 00:05:47,890
Wrong.
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00:05:47,914 --> 00:05:49,658
So, wait a minute, I
had to take my exams.
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I was gonna graduate.
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00:05:50,784 --> 00:05:53,229
Go to college, get
a teaching degree.
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00:05:53,253 --> 00:05:55,698
Well, there's graft,
corruption, bribery...
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00:05:55,722 --> 00:05:57,733
and anything else
you could stoop to.
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00:06:00,394 --> 00:06:02,338
Mr. Woodman, this is
a mistake. It's gotta be.
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00:06:02,362 --> 00:06:04,240
The mistake is calling
you a teacher. Shh.
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00:06:04,264 --> 00:06:05,508
You're an impostor, Kotter.
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00:06:05,532 --> 00:06:07,911
You're a fraud!
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00:06:07,935 --> 00:06:10,869
See? I told you Mr. Kotter
was our kind of guy.
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00:06:12,106 --> 00:06:13,583
All right. Go to
your next class.
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00:06:13,607 --> 00:06:16,719
Let's go. Get your books.
Come on, move it. Let's go.
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00:06:16,743 --> 00:06:17,721
Go ahead.
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00:06:17,745 --> 00:06:19,010
Come over here, Mr. Woodman.
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00:06:20,313 --> 00:06:22,391
Mr. Woodman, I must have
taken my exams. I don't...
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00:06:22,415 --> 00:06:24,427
What exams?
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00:06:24,451 --> 00:06:26,463
Hey, you didn't take your exams?
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00:06:27,487 --> 00:06:30,007
How'd you get out of it?
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00:06:30,624 --> 00:06:32,768
I didn't get out of
it. I took my exams.
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00:06:32,792 --> 00:06:35,037
Then why isn't it in my records?
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00:06:35,061 --> 00:06:36,961
I don't know why it
isn't in your records.
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00:06:37,698 --> 00:06:39,809
But I know I took them.
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00:06:39,833 --> 00:06:40,833
I think.
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00:06:42,035 --> 00:06:44,547
There is a very
simple solution to this,
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00:06:44,571 --> 00:06:46,004
if you "axe" me.
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00:06:47,373 --> 00:06:49,306
Who "axed" you?
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00:06:51,244 --> 00:06:54,624
Why don't you just
take a make-up exam?
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00:06:54,648 --> 00:06:56,326
Yeah, I'd be willing
to accept a make-up
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to correct your records, Kotter.
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00:06:58,118 --> 00:06:59,863
Now, wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
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00:06:59,887 --> 00:07:02,698
Me? Take a make-up
test 10 years later?
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00:07:04,290 --> 00:07:05,602
That's funny.
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00:07:10,330 --> 00:07:11,729
It's funny, kids.
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00:07:13,399 --> 00:07:15,277
In your own words...
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00:07:15,301 --> 00:07:18,570
"If you study,
you pass. Simple."
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00:07:20,940 --> 00:07:22,786
I am a social studies teacher.
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00:07:22,810 --> 00:07:25,121
Now, do you expect me
to walk in 10 years later
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and pass an exam on
English, science... mathematics?
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00:07:28,448 --> 00:07:30,160
Well, that's the
beauty part, Kotter.
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00:07:30,184 --> 00:07:31,184
I don't.
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00:07:36,055 --> 00:07:38,367
Well, that's about as
much fun as a man my age
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can take in one morning.
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00:07:41,661 --> 00:07:43,405
You see, Mr. Kotter...
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00:07:43,429 --> 00:07:46,142
this is a perfect opportunity
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for you to prove what
you have learned.
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00:07:55,609 --> 00:07:57,554
Yeah, you see, what
he's saying is, like,
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00:07:57,578 --> 00:08:01,057
if you're slow, you blow.
If you're fast, you pass.
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00:08:01,081 --> 00:08:03,792
And if I flunk, I'm sunk...
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00:08:03,816 --> 00:08:05,328
But just think, Mr. Kotter.
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00:08:05,352 --> 00:08:07,329
You finally get a chance
to show everybody
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00:08:07,353 --> 00:08:09,465
how smart you are.
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00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:10,767
Check you later, baby.
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00:08:10,791 --> 00:08:12,768
Be brave, little soldier.
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00:08:21,401 --> 00:08:23,580
Gabe, you're not
gonna find anything
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00:08:23,604 --> 00:08:24,713
in that closet.
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00:08:24,737 --> 00:08:26,048
Why don't you come out of there
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00:08:26,072 --> 00:08:28,751
before you get lost too?
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00:08:28,775 --> 00:08:31,487
Julie, I gotta find
my school records.
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00:08:31,511 --> 00:08:33,155
If I don't, I take
those exams again.
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00:08:33,179 --> 00:08:35,158
And... I don't know I
can't take these exams.
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I always froze
up. Got lock-face.
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I have to find my old records.
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Hey!
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00:08:46,826 --> 00:08:47,971
I found my old records.
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00:08:52,165 --> 00:08:53,943
I got some great stuff here.
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00:08:53,967 --> 00:08:57,046
Connie Francis
Sings ROTC Favorites.
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00:08:57,070 --> 00:08:59,314
Burl Ives Sings Little Richard.
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00:08:59,338 --> 00:09:00,650
And here's a good one:
189
00:09:00,674 --> 00:09:02,518
Polkas that Lawrence
Welk Wouldn't Do.
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00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:06,389
I have the perfect solution
to this whole problem.
191
00:09:06,413 --> 00:09:08,024
Oh. I'm going to the schoolyard.
192
00:09:08,048 --> 00:09:10,659
Uh... See you later.
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00:09:10,683 --> 00:09:12,327
What are you gonna do there?
194
00:09:12,351 --> 00:09:14,330
What am I gonna do there? Yeah.
195
00:09:14,354 --> 00:09:17,433
I'm gonna paint a face on this
and run it for president. Heh.
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00:09:17,457 --> 00:09:21,537
Gabe, you have got
to study for your exam.
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00:09:21,561 --> 00:09:22,772
Julie, I'm a teacher.
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00:09:22,796 --> 00:09:23,772
That was 10 years ago.
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00:09:23,796 --> 00:09:25,741
Why do I have to
study for exams now?
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00:09:25,765 --> 00:09:28,043
I took all those exams.
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00:09:28,067 --> 00:09:29,067
I must have.
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00:09:30,704 --> 00:09:32,103
Probably.
203
00:09:33,874 --> 00:09:35,306
I bet I did.
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00:09:36,876 --> 00:09:37,876
You think, maybe?
205
00:09:40,013 --> 00:09:41,390
Would you get the door, please?
206
00:09:41,414 --> 00:09:42,424
Certainly.
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00:09:42,448 --> 00:09:43,448
Thank you.
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00:09:44,417 --> 00:09:46,695
Wait. Way-way-way-way-wait.
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00:09:46,719 --> 00:09:47,896
What's this? Oh.
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00:09:47,920 --> 00:09:49,287
Mr. Kotter.
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00:09:50,223 --> 00:09:51,600
Us Sweathogs stick together.
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00:09:51,624 --> 00:09:53,202
So don't sweat it
about those exams.
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00:09:53,226 --> 00:09:55,571
We're gonna help you study
all the stuff you don't know.
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00:09:55,595 --> 00:09:58,241
See, we're all gonna
get together and cram it.
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00:09:58,265 --> 00:10:00,076
Well, you know, I
appreciate the thought,
216
00:10:00,100 --> 00:10:02,345
but I don't think
that... Don't think.
217
00:10:02,369 --> 00:10:04,346
Let us do that for you.
218
00:10:05,572 --> 00:10:07,617
Now... I brought this desk along
219
00:10:07,641 --> 00:10:09,441
so you'd feel right at home.
220
00:10:10,243 --> 00:10:12,221
I am at home, Vinnie!
221
00:10:12,245 --> 00:10:13,678
See. It worked.
222
00:10:16,750 --> 00:10:18,861
This is unbelievable.
You bring desk, books.
223
00:10:18,885 --> 00:10:20,863
If the blackboard wasn't
attached to the wall,
224
00:10:20,887 --> 00:10:22,331
you probably brought that too.
225
00:10:22,355 --> 00:10:23,355
Bring it in.
226
00:10:28,628 --> 00:10:30,061
Wait a minute.
227
00:10:31,498 --> 00:10:35,066
I was just standing there,
and it fell off the wall.
228
00:10:38,137 --> 00:10:40,616
Lucky we was there to catch it.
229
00:10:41,975 --> 00:10:43,852
You guys can't
do things like this.
230
00:10:43,876 --> 00:10:45,788
It's against the
law. It's robbery.
231
00:10:45,812 --> 00:10:47,256
It's 5-to-10.
232
00:10:47,280 --> 00:10:49,280
No, it's 10 to 10.
233
00:10:51,751 --> 00:10:53,329
Hey, besides...
234
00:10:53,353 --> 00:10:55,631
we tend to think of it as...
235
00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:58,500
creative borrowing.
236
00:10:58,524 --> 00:10:59,535
I want you to make sure
237
00:10:59,559 --> 00:11:00,936
you have all this
stuff in school
238
00:11:00,960 --> 00:11:02,705
Monday morning
before class starts.
239
00:11:02,729 --> 00:11:03,973
Hey.
240
00:11:03,997 --> 00:11:06,442
We will. Bright and early.
241
00:11:06,466 --> 00:11:07,943
Yep, that's the plan.
242
00:11:07,967 --> 00:11:10,312
Unbelievable. You
brought books, a desk...
243
00:11:10,336 --> 00:11:11,981
A blackboard.
244
00:11:12,005 --> 00:11:14,525
Only thing you need
to bring is a teacher.
245
00:11:31,458 --> 00:11:32,890
Wait a minute!
246
00:11:33,960 --> 00:11:36,480
Now, who are you supposed to be?
247
00:11:40,734 --> 00:11:43,846
♪ School days School days ♪
248
00:11:43,870 --> 00:11:47,116
♪ Dear old golden rule days ♪
249
00:11:47,140 --> 00:11:50,119
♪ Readin' and
writin' And 'rithmetic ♪
250
00:11:50,143 --> 00:11:51,620
Julie, did I ever tell you
251
00:11:51,644 --> 00:11:54,124
about my great
uncle Hershey Kotter?
252
00:11:56,282 --> 00:11:57,259
No, honey.
253
00:11:57,283 --> 00:11:58,294
Why don't you tell me
254
00:11:58,318 --> 00:12:00,029
about your great
uncle Hershey Kotter.
255
00:12:00,053 --> 00:12:01,330
That's the joke.
256
00:12:01,354 --> 00:12:03,266
There is no uncle
Hershey Kotter.
257
00:12:07,660 --> 00:12:09,538
Look... I don't know
what you're up to,
258
00:12:09,562 --> 00:12:10,973
but I'm not gonna
study with you.
259
00:12:10,997 --> 00:12:12,808
I mean, I don't have
to know anything.
260
00:12:12,832 --> 00:12:14,232
I'm a teacher.
261
00:12:17,303 --> 00:12:20,983
Gabriel, Gabriel,
Gabriel, calm down.
262
00:12:21,007 --> 00:12:24,442
Now are there any questions
before we get down to work?
263
00:12:27,347 --> 00:12:29,092
Ooh, ooh, ooh, me.
264
00:12:29,116 --> 00:12:30,593
Ooh, ooh, me.
265
00:12:30,617 --> 00:12:32,562
Ooh, ooh.
266
00:12:32,586 --> 00:12:34,563
Ooh. Ooh, ooh.
267
00:12:34,587 --> 00:12:35,564
Ooh, me, me.
268
00:12:35,588 --> 00:12:37,021
Ooh, ooh. Ooh...
269
00:12:38,858 --> 00:12:41,470
Look, it's Saturday afternoon.
My afternoons are planned.
270
00:12:41,494 --> 00:12:42,638
I get up in the morning.
271
00:12:42,662 --> 00:12:45,063
I watch Space Nuts
and Scooby Doo.
272
00:12:46,499 --> 00:12:48,277
Go play the basketball
in the schoolyard.
273
00:12:48,301 --> 00:12:50,480
Come home, get a can of
beer, go on the fire escape
274
00:12:50,504 --> 00:12:52,615
and read the funnies
in the Sunday paper.
275
00:12:52,639 --> 00:12:53,682
That's my Saturday.
276
00:12:55,074 --> 00:12:56,119
You understand?
277
00:12:56,143 --> 00:12:58,183
No.
278
00:12:59,579 --> 00:13:00,756
You understand, don't you?
279
00:13:00,780 --> 00:13:02,224
Mm-mm.
280
00:13:02,248 --> 00:13:03,759
Don't you see,
281
00:13:03,783 --> 00:13:06,595
that for the first time,
your kids want to study?
282
00:13:06,619 --> 00:13:11,234
If you let them help you
learn, they will learn too.
283
00:13:11,258 --> 00:13:12,501
Okay. I'll study with them.
284
00:13:12,525 --> 00:13:14,069
But I'm gonna show
'em what it's like
285
00:13:14,093 --> 00:13:15,571
to try and teach
Sweathogs, okay?
286
00:13:16,863 --> 00:13:18,207
Let's go. Come on, let's study.
287
00:13:18,231 --> 00:13:20,042
All right. All right. Terrific.
288
00:13:20,066 --> 00:13:24,146
Now, you tell me how much
of what you learned in school
289
00:13:24,170 --> 00:13:25,450
do you remember?
290
00:13:27,941 --> 00:13:29,218
What?
291
00:13:29,242 --> 00:13:32,154
How much do you remember?
292
00:13:32,178 --> 00:13:34,623
When?
293
00:13:34,647 --> 00:13:36,191
In school.
294
00:13:36,215 --> 00:13:37,348
Where?
295
00:13:39,919 --> 00:13:41,252
What?
296
00:13:43,356 --> 00:13:45,568
Do I remember?
297
00:13:45,592 --> 00:13:46,592
When?
298
00:13:47,727 --> 00:13:49,672
When I was in school.
299
00:13:49,696 --> 00:13:52,474
Where?
300
00:13:52,498 --> 00:13:55,133
Thank you, thank you, boys.
301
00:13:56,736 --> 00:13:59,048
You are stalling.
302
00:13:59,072 --> 00:14:01,717
Hey. Don't you wanna study?
303
00:14:01,741 --> 00:14:02,952
I mean, w... Are you prep...
304
00:14:02,976 --> 00:14:04,019
Where's your notebook?
305
00:14:04,043 --> 00:14:06,483
Where is your notebook?
306
00:14:09,449 --> 00:14:10,449
Hi, there.
307
00:14:13,953 --> 00:14:16,431
Yeah, hi... Hi there. Whe...
Where's your notebook?
308
00:14:16,455 --> 00:14:19,001
My notebook? Well, I just
don't happen to have it here...
309
00:14:19,025 --> 00:14:20,324
handy.
310
00:14:26,366 --> 00:14:28,343
Well, look, man, I was
gonna study, but my wife,
311
00:14:28,367 --> 00:14:29,478
she hit me upside my head.
312
00:14:29,502 --> 00:14:32,670
Gabriel. She said
I'm all... Gabriel.
313
00:14:41,280 --> 00:14:42,980
Will you sit down?!
314
00:14:45,452 --> 00:14:48,263
Well... Bye, guys. Hey.
315
00:14:48,287 --> 00:14:51,666
Have fun. Where you
going with my basketball?
316
00:14:51,690 --> 00:14:54,703
I have a regular game down at
Our Lady of Sorrow's playground
317
00:14:54,727 --> 00:14:57,906
with Sister Mary Mercy. Bye.
318
00:14:57,930 --> 00:14:59,308
Enjoy yourself, babe.
319
00:14:59,332 --> 00:15:00,309
Bye. Bye, guys.
320
00:15:00,333 --> 00:15:01,710
Shalom, honey.
321
00:15:01,734 --> 00:15:04,613
All right. Let us
start out with algebra
322
00:15:04,637 --> 00:15:06,048
because that is the hardest.
323
00:15:06,072 --> 00:15:08,951
Gabriel, would you please
pass out the books, please.
324
00:15:08,975 --> 00:15:10,352
Certainly.
325
00:15:10,376 --> 00:15:13,389
And turn to page
32 in your books.
326
00:15:13,413 --> 00:15:14,690
Thirty-two.
327
00:15:14,714 --> 00:15:19,495
The problem is:
find the value of X
328
00:15:19,519 --> 00:15:21,763
when the integer is unknown.
329
00:15:21,787 --> 00:15:22,787
Gabriel.
330
00:15:25,258 --> 00:15:26,591
Ahem.
331
00:15:27,827 --> 00:15:29,872
The problem is to
find the value of X
332
00:15:29,896 --> 00:15:32,376
when the integer is unknown.
333
00:15:33,399 --> 00:15:35,644
What's a integer?
334
00:15:35,668 --> 00:15:37,446
Oh, it's the new math.
335
00:15:37,470 --> 00:15:39,982
Well, what was wrong
with the old math?
336
00:15:40,006 --> 00:15:42,985
Hey, come on. I bet this
new math is really easy.
337
00:15:43,009 --> 00:15:44,987
Why don't you keep
on reading, Horshack.
338
00:15:45,011 --> 00:15:46,944
Thank you, Vincent.
339
00:15:49,815 --> 00:15:53,529
"An integer is a
counting number.
340
00:15:53,553 --> 00:15:58,834
"If the sequence
is 1, 2, 2, 3, 3, 4,
341
00:15:58,858 --> 00:16:02,392
et cetera, the
integer is apparent."
342
00:16:04,497 --> 00:16:06,564
It's apparent to who?
343
00:16:07,900 --> 00:16:10,612
So find the value of X.
344
00:16:10,636 --> 00:16:13,082
X. I don't know.
345
00:16:13,106 --> 00:16:14,249
Right.
346
00:16:14,273 --> 00:16:17,486
X is unknown. So what's Y?
347
00:16:17,510 --> 00:16:18,754
Y?
348
00:16:18,778 --> 00:16:20,611
Where?
349
00:16:23,315 --> 00:16:25,394
Look... Look, I got lost.
Let's start again, okay.
350
00:16:25,418 --> 00:16:27,563
Hey, look, Mr. Kotter,
don't sweat it.
351
00:16:27,587 --> 00:16:28,930
By the time we're done with you,
352
00:16:28,954 --> 00:16:30,999
you're gonna pass
all your exams.
353
00:16:31,023 --> 00:16:33,702
'Cause we're gonna stay with
you all weekend and help you study.
354
00:16:33,726 --> 00:16:36,104
Yeah, how you like that?
355
00:16:36,128 --> 00:16:37,273
Now, wait a second.
356
00:16:37,297 --> 00:16:39,774
You guys are really
willing to spend all weekend
357
00:16:39,798 --> 00:16:42,111
helping me study,
including Saturday?
358
00:16:42,135 --> 00:16:43,212
Yeah. Baby. We're here.
359
00:16:43,236 --> 00:16:44,213
We thought we were.
360
00:16:44,237 --> 00:16:45,714
You got it.
361
00:16:45,738 --> 00:16:47,070
Thank you.
362
00:16:51,544 --> 00:16:53,655
Hey, Garcia. Hey, man.
363
00:16:53,679 --> 00:16:55,023
What's happening, Kaputzkow?
364
00:16:55,047 --> 00:16:56,925
Hey, Juan, how was your finals?
365
00:16:56,949 --> 00:16:58,493
Hey. What'd you
get for question 16?
366
00:16:58,517 --> 00:17:01,597
Let's see, uh,
16. That was, uh...
367
00:17:01,621 --> 00:17:06,234
That was, uh,
deoxyribonucleic acid.
368
00:17:06,258 --> 00:17:07,435
You know, you put a little on
369
00:17:07,459 --> 00:17:08,771
your cereal in the morning,
370
00:17:08,795 --> 00:17:10,075
turns your eyes blue.
371
00:17:11,530 --> 00:17:12,775
Hey, Mr. Kotter, how'd you do
372
00:17:12,799 --> 00:17:14,143
in that biology test.
373
00:17:14,167 --> 00:17:16,579
Well, Mr. Pacer
wanted to make, uh...
374
00:17:16,603 --> 00:17:18,047
frog dissection
part of the test,
375
00:17:18,071 --> 00:17:19,715
but Juan wouldn't
stand for it. Yeah.
376
00:17:19,739 --> 00:17:21,717
I told him, whatever
he's gonna do to that frog,
377
00:17:21,741 --> 00:17:23,319
I'm gonna do to him.
378
00:17:23,343 --> 00:17:24,319
All right.
379
00:17:24,343 --> 00:17:25,354
Good. See you later.
380
00:17:25,378 --> 00:17:26,355
Yeah.
381
00:17:26,379 --> 00:17:27,778
Oh, uh, Kotter...
382
00:17:29,315 --> 00:17:31,260
Well, Kotter, you
certainly know how to spoil
383
00:17:31,284 --> 00:17:33,262
someone's good time, don't you?
384
00:17:33,286 --> 00:17:35,031
What are you talking
about, Mr. Woodman?
385
00:17:35,055 --> 00:17:37,199
Well, Principal Lazarus insisted
386
00:17:37,223 --> 00:17:38,333
that I call the registrar
387
00:17:38,357 --> 00:17:39,634
at your college this morning,
388
00:17:39,658 --> 00:17:41,703
and the missing test
grades, were, uh...
389
00:17:41,727 --> 00:17:44,240
It seems a
clerical error here...
390
00:17:44,264 --> 00:17:45,240
There's no need for you
391
00:17:45,264 --> 00:17:47,876
to take any more of these exams.
392
00:17:49,335 --> 00:17:51,547
All right. I'm not
taking any more exams.
393
00:17:51,571 --> 00:17:53,115
♪ I don't have to take
any more exams ♪
394
00:17:53,139 --> 00:17:54,249
♪ I don't have to... ♪
395
00:17:54,273 --> 00:17:56,713
That's enough, Kotter.
396
00:17:57,443 --> 00:17:59,755
You're not on my dance card.
397
00:17:59,779 --> 00:18:00,990
I'm sorry, Mr. Woodman.
398
00:18:01,014 --> 00:18:03,792
♪ I don't have to take
Any more exams ♪
399
00:18:03,816 --> 00:18:05,315
Oh?
400
00:18:07,052 --> 00:18:10,054
Is the prom early this year?
401
00:18:10,856 --> 00:18:12,868
No, no, Arnold.
402
00:18:12,892 --> 00:18:14,370
I don't have to take
any more exams.
403
00:18:14,394 --> 00:18:15,571
I am in the clear.
404
00:18:15,595 --> 00:18:17,306
Tell them, Mr. Woodman.
405
00:18:17,330 --> 00:18:18,841
Yeah, he's in the clear.
406
00:18:18,865 --> 00:18:21,110
I still think he's an
imposter, but he's in the clear.
407
00:18:22,568 --> 00:18:24,613
We wasted a whole
weekend studying,
408
00:18:24,637 --> 00:18:27,077
and then you got
out of the exams.
409
00:18:27,507 --> 00:18:30,808
Congratulations, man.
410
00:18:34,013 --> 00:18:36,158
I'm not supposed to take
exams in the first place.
411
00:18:36,182 --> 00:18:37,726
I'm a teacher.
412
00:18:37,750 --> 00:18:38,949
It was a mistake.
413
00:18:40,886 --> 00:18:43,521
You understand, Arnold.
You were a teacher for a while.
414
00:18:44,924 --> 00:18:46,568
When we was
all in this together,
415
00:18:46,592 --> 00:18:48,470
then it meant something.
416
00:18:48,494 --> 00:18:51,307
Not now. Ah... Ow!
417
00:18:53,099 --> 00:18:54,877
See what you did?
418
00:18:54,901 --> 00:18:56,145
Barbarino, Epstein?
419
00:18:56,169 --> 00:18:58,689
Pfft.
420
00:19:03,109 --> 00:19:04,386
All right, all right, look.
421
00:19:04,410 --> 00:19:05,921
You're right. You're right.
422
00:19:05,945 --> 00:19:08,478
I made a commitment to you guys.
423
00:19:11,384 --> 00:19:13,529
There. My proof is
gone. I'll take the exams.
424
00:19:13,553 --> 00:19:14,529
All right!
425
00:19:14,553 --> 00:19:15,531
All right.
426
00:19:15,555 --> 00:19:17,432
Hey, baby. Way to go.
427
00:19:17,456 --> 00:19:21,870
Very impressive
gesture, Mr. Kotter.
428
00:19:24,163 --> 00:19:25,407
That's the dumbest thing
429
00:19:25,431 --> 00:19:29,010
I ever seen in my life.
430
00:19:29,034 --> 00:19:30,368
Thanks a lot.
431
00:19:32,671 --> 00:19:35,151
Now, I wanna, uh,
thank you too, Kotter.
432
00:19:36,042 --> 00:19:37,886
You want to thank me. For what?
433
00:19:37,910 --> 00:19:39,455
For tearing up a, uh...
434
00:19:39,479 --> 00:19:42,457
prescription for
tranquilizers...
435
00:19:42,481 --> 00:19:47,062
that, uh... my doctor
gave me this morning.
436
00:19:47,086 --> 00:19:50,020
I, uh... I, uh, don't
need them anyway.
437
00:20:00,666 --> 00:20:04,045
All right, attention.
Attention. Attention.
438
00:20:04,069 --> 00:20:05,648
I have an
announcement of interest
439
00:20:05,672 --> 00:20:07,316
to each and every Sweathog here.
440
00:20:07,340 --> 00:20:08,984
Mr. Woodman, will
you please tell them
441
00:20:09,008 --> 00:20:10,619
what you just
told me in the hall.
442
00:20:10,643 --> 00:20:11,643
The, uh...
443
00:20:12,778 --> 00:20:15,057
examination results are in.
444
00:20:15,081 --> 00:20:16,458
For the first
time in the history
445
00:20:16,482 --> 00:20:19,628
of Buchanan High School,
not a single Sweathog failed.
446
00:20:20,653 --> 00:20:21,930
I haven't finished yet.
447
00:20:21,954 --> 00:20:25,167
However... There's a "however"?
448
00:20:25,191 --> 00:20:27,703
As you grow older,
Kotter, you'll realize,
449
00:20:27,727 --> 00:20:29,193
there's always a however.
450
00:20:30,663 --> 00:20:34,109
However, the, uh, Sweathog
grade point average...
451
00:20:34,133 --> 00:20:37,446
might have reached
an all-time high.
452
00:20:37,470 --> 00:20:41,271
But for one... very
low grade in Algebra.
453
00:20:44,410 --> 00:20:47,678
One Sweathog just passed
by the skin of his teeth.
454
00:20:48,881 --> 00:20:50,125
I leave it to you...
455
00:20:50,149 --> 00:20:52,761
to uncover the culprit.
456
00:20:52,785 --> 00:20:54,085
We'll find him.
457
00:20:55,621 --> 00:20:58,233
All right, Mr. Kotter...
458
00:20:58,257 --> 00:21:00,591
let's take it from the top.
459
00:21:01,660 --> 00:21:04,762
An integer is a counting number.
460
00:21:06,432 --> 00:21:07,408
Right.
461
00:21:07,432 --> 00:21:08,577
So what's X?
462
00:21:08,601 --> 00:21:11,312
X is... X is unknown.
463
00:21:11,336 --> 00:21:13,114
And what's Y?
464
00:21:13,138 --> 00:21:15,205
Y...? Where?
465
00:21:17,376 --> 00:21:18,553
All right. Let's start over.
466
00:21:18,577 --> 00:21:20,255
An integer's a
counting number, right?
467
00:21:20,279 --> 00:21:23,292
Right. Y... Why?
468
00:21:23,316 --> 00:21:25,249
Because we like you.
469
00:21:30,289 --> 00:21:31,266
And now?
470
00:21:31,290 --> 00:21:33,334
Now's the time to say goodbye
471
00:21:33,358 --> 00:21:36,505
to all our company.
472
00:21:36,529 --> 00:21:39,274
♪ G-A-B ♪
473
00:21:39,298 --> 00:21:41,498
Be a good boy.
474
00:21:43,569 --> 00:21:45,948
♪ R-E-L ♪
475
00:21:45,972 --> 00:21:48,038
Elevate our minds.
476
00:21:49,609 --> 00:21:54,857
♪ K-O-T-T-R ♪
477
00:21:54,881 --> 00:21:56,658
E-R. Kotter. Dummies.
478
00:21:56,682 --> 00:21:59,260
Kotter. K-O-T-T-E-R.
479
00:22:06,859 --> 00:22:08,637
Did I ever tell you
about my Aunt Selma?
480
00:22:08,661 --> 00:22:09,971
No!
481
00:22:09,995 --> 00:22:12,007
Tell me about your Aunt Selma.
482
00:22:12,031 --> 00:22:13,308
Okay. She's a lousy driver.
483
00:22:13,332 --> 00:22:16,178
She was so bad, she got
three tickets on the written test.
484
00:22:16,202 --> 00:22:18,179
That bad? You
take the written test?
485
00:22:18,203 --> 00:22:20,782
Okay, now one day, my
Uncle Leon comes home,
486
00:22:20,806 --> 00:22:23,552
and my Aunt Selma's there,
and the car is in the kitchen.
487
00:22:23,576 --> 00:22:24,619
Unbelievable.
488
00:22:24,643 --> 00:22:26,421
Is that unbelievable?
It's incredible.
489
00:22:26,445 --> 00:22:28,089
You wanna know how
the car got in there?
490
00:22:28,113 --> 00:22:29,924
Why don't you tell
me how it got in?
491
00:22:29,948 --> 00:22:32,728
That's what my Uncle
Leon said. He said, "Selma!
492
00:22:32,752 --> 00:22:34,963
How'd you got the
car in the kitchen?!"
493
00:22:34,987 --> 00:22:36,098
She said, "It was easy.
494
00:22:36,122 --> 00:22:37,900
I made a left when I
got to the living room."
495
00:22:47,767 --> 00:22:50,400
Eleven. Hey.
496
00:22:54,640 --> 00:22:56,284
Julie. What?
497
00:22:56,308 --> 00:22:57,485
There's these two brothers.
498
00:22:57,509 --> 00:22:58,587
Two brothers.
499
00:22:58,611 --> 00:22:59,754
Go fishing all the time.
500
00:22:59,778 --> 00:23:01,423
They go fishing all the time.
501
00:23:01,447 --> 00:23:03,592
Is there an echo in here?
502
00:23:03,616 --> 00:23:05,093
These two brothers go fishing.
503
00:23:05,117 --> 00:23:06,495
One always
catches a lot of fish,
504
00:23:06,519 --> 00:23:08,163
the other one
doesn't catch any fish.
505
00:23:08,187 --> 00:23:09,164
Nothing. Nothing.
506
00:23:09,188 --> 00:23:10,665
Nothing. Nilch.
507
00:23:10,689 --> 00:23:13,235
Null and void. Nothing.
Can't catch a fish. Nothing.
508
00:23:13,259 --> 00:23:14,269
Not a fish.
509
00:23:14,293 --> 00:23:15,737
And he's beginning to get mad,
510
00:23:15,761 --> 00:23:17,939
because he can't catch
any fish. Understandable.
511
00:23:17,963 --> 00:23:20,141
One day, he says, "I'll get
up at 5:00 in the morning.
512
00:23:20,165 --> 00:23:21,710
"I'm gonna beat
my brother to it.
513
00:23:21,734 --> 00:23:23,211
"I'll go to the lake
and catch fish,
514
00:23:23,235 --> 00:23:24,379
'cause he won't be there.."
515
00:23:24,403 --> 00:23:26,815
Smart. He was smart, right?
516
00:23:26,839 --> 00:23:28,383
He went fishing
5:00 in the morning,
517
00:23:28,407 --> 00:23:29,751
and he didn't catch any fish.
518
00:23:29,775 --> 00:23:32,587
He's there for two hours.
Seven o'clock, no fish.
519
00:23:32,611 --> 00:23:35,011
Finally, a fish peeks his
head out of the water and says:
520
00:23:36,548 --> 00:23:38,448
"So where's your brother?"
521
00:23:49,094 --> 00:23:52,140
♪ Welcome back ♪
522
00:23:52,164 --> 00:23:55,610
♪ Your dreams
Were your ticket out ♪
523
00:23:55,634 --> 00:23:57,813
♪ Welcome back ♪
524
00:23:57,837 --> 00:24:02,717
♪ To that same old place
That you laughed about ♪
525
00:24:02,741 --> 00:24:04,819
♪ Well, the names
Have all changed ♪
526
00:24:04,843 --> 00:24:06,955
♪ Since you hung around ♪
527
00:24:06,979 --> 00:24:09,091
♪ But those dreams
Have remained ♪
528
00:24:09,115 --> 00:24:11,493
♪ And they've turned around ♪
529
00:24:11,517 --> 00:24:14,162
♪ Who'd have thought
They'd lead ya ♪
530
00:24:14,186 --> 00:24:15,730
♪ Who'd have thought
They'd lead ya ♪
531
00:24:15,754 --> 00:24:17,599
♪ Back here where we need ya? ♪
532
00:24:17,623 --> 00:24:19,935
♪ Back here Where we need ya? ♪
533
00:24:19,959 --> 00:24:21,803
♪ Yeah, we tease him A lot ♪
534
00:24:21,827 --> 00:24:24,105
♪ 'Cause we've got
him On the spot ♪
535
00:24:24,129 --> 00:24:26,175
♪ Welcome back ♪
536
00:24:26,199 --> 00:24:28,376
♪ Welcome back Welcome back ♪
537
00:24:28,400 --> 00:24:30,545
♪ Welcome back ♪
538
00:24:30,569 --> 00:24:32,580
♪ Welcome back Welcome back ♪
539
00:24:32,604 --> 00:24:35,583
♪ Welcome back ♪
540
00:24:35,607 --> 00:24:39,254
♪ We always could
Spot a friend ♪
541
00:24:39,278 --> 00:24:41,589
♪ Welcome back ♪
542
00:24:41,613 --> 00:24:46,328
♪ And I smile when I think
How you must have been ♪
543
00:24:46,352 --> 00:24:50,732
♪ And I know what a
scene You were learnin' in ♪
544
00:24:50,756 --> 00:24:54,836
♪ Was there something that
Made you come back again? ♪
545
00:24:54,860 --> 00:24:57,305
♪ And what Could ever lead ya ♪
546
00:24:57,329 --> 00:24:59,007
♪ What could ever Lead ya ♪
547
00:24:59,031 --> 00:25:01,243
♪ Back here where We need ya? ♪
548
00:25:01,267 --> 00:25:03,244
♪ Back here where We need ya? ♪
549
00:25:03,268 --> 00:25:05,346
♪ Yeah, we tease him a lot ♪
550
00:25:05,370 --> 00:25:07,115
♪ 'Cause we got
him On the spot ♪
551
00:25:07,139 --> 00:25:08,139
♪ Welcome back... ♪
36338
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