All language subtitles for Upstairs Downstairs S01E11 The Swedish Tiger WEB-DL DDP2 0 H 264-squalor (1)_track3_[eng]

["The Edwardians" by
Alexander Faris]

[bell ringing]

-[Sarah] Oh!

- Oh!

-[Sarah] Get that downstairs.

They can't answer the
door in those clothes.

- I'm not answering
in these clothes,

I'm going out in these clothes.

[bell ringing]

These are my clothes
for going out in.

- Well that's not your
door for going out in.

Downstairs and through the area.

- Area?

What is area?

-[Elizabeth] Oh!

- Oh!

- Is my brother in?

- Completely.

Asleep.

- Still?

- Still.

Well, that I think depends.

When did you last
observe him so?

- But, it's nearly noon.

- No, it's only nearly
half past 11.

- You may safely admit me.
- Yes, you have

introduced yourself.

Unless your brother has
more than one sister.

- He hasn't.

And, you've introduced
yourself, too.

- I?

- With your accent.

If it's Swedish.

- It is.

How do you do?

As the English say never
expecting to be told.

Good morning.

Cab.

[horse hooves clomping]

- Oh!

- Good morning, Sarah.

- I didn't expect you back
today, Miss Elizabeth.

- I know.

- You wasn't up there long,
hardly a long good bye.

- That's all it was
just now, too.

- Hmm?

- When the Captain went out.

- Captain Ryttsen?

I thought he was still asleep.

- No, it's my brother who is.

I trust Edward isn't too.

- Edward?

Didn't he just answer
the door to you?

- I'm sure he didn't unless
he's caught a Swedish accent

from our guest and acquired
a gentleman's wardrobe.

Uh, my luggage ticket, Euston.

Would you give it to Edward
please and his cab fare?

- I don't think this will
be enough, Miss Elizabeth.

Even without the extra
for the luggage,

there's only enough
here for one way.

- Yes, the way back.

The way there Edward shall walk.

- Of course, being a footman.

Will that be all,
Miss Elizabeth?

[footsteps clomping]

- No Sarah, not quite.

When my mother originally
interviewed you

for the position here, did
you wear anything like that?

- Like this?

-[Elizabeth] No Sarah,
like that?

- Oh no, I wasn't
in uniform then.

- Were you in silk,
that's the point?

- Point, Miss Elizabeth?

- I should think if
you were Sarah,

you'd have been recommended
to seek employment in Paris.

- Don't you like my uniform?

- I quite do, excepting only
that, although so individual,

it is a uniform.

But, when my parents return,
greet them in something

a little less emancipated.

- Emaciated?

- I think you've understood
me Sarah.

Also, Sarah.

- Yes, Miss Elizabeth.

- Yes, Sarah.

How often do you travel
by cab, hmm?

Not many an under
house parlormaid

would be expected
to know the fare

to a fro the rirst railway
station mentioned her.

- Oh well, Miss Elizabeth,
I haven't been

an under house parlormaid
very long.

[laughing]

- No.

- Down, Sarah.

In your silk, to the
kitchen please.

I should like not morning
tea but coffee,

much of it, black.

Nor, I think will
Captain Ryttsen.

I didn't know I'd got up so
late, it was already Monday.

Or are you indeed
a weekend early.

- Father bagged 37
brace yesterday.

Mother elucidated that
Olive May Agertigo

will soon become the
Countess of Droida.

The traffic along the
bedroom landings

of husbands who had
come without wives

to the doors of wives who
had come without husbands

different from that of
Piccadilly only in that

the pedestrians wore
dressing gowns.

Between the slaughter of grouse,

reputations, and fidelities,

I decided that Perthshire
in October was no place

for a girl with a
social conscience.

- Oh Lord, I'd hopped
you'd left your up there.

At a Scottish house party,
consciences are deposited

in the Kirk.

They are visited of a
Sunday, dusted off,

and tucked back out
of sight again.

I prefer to carry mine
on my own shoulders

where I can see it.

- Like an organ grinder's
monkey, always a beck.

- Rose caught a caught
a cough at the Kirk.

- Rose?

- Armand.

Who is short for Rosie
to our Jewish visitors

and for Rosamond to our gentile.

Our head house parlormaid
acting as my doula.

- Oh, Rose.

- Rose.

Pearce, however, is well.

You do remember our chauffeur

now doubling as Father's loader.

- I also remember
Hudson our butler

now doubling as Father's valet.

And, I see no reason to
inquire after the health

of every servant who's had
to traipse from the basement

here to the Highlands
with our parents.

- Which James is why you have
gone up to the shooter not me.

You have the appropriate
attitude, that of indifference.

- How indifferent was Mother

when you insulted her
Caledonian host by leaving?

- Oh Mother had her
reason not to notice mine.

Roberts, do you remember
Roberts?

- Mother's ladies maid.

How is she?

- Shattery as usual.

-[James] Huh?

- Perhaps it's the
moorland weather,

the shivering it induces.

But, in two crisp, raw
weeks, she's demolished

more household ornaments
up there

than she did down
here all summer.

- Well, she broke
so much down here?

- Didn't you notice?

- How could I?

So, much nicknackery
littered about the place.

It's all a blur to me.

- Well and to me too,
but Mother wonders

if Roberts might not
be best left up there

particularly as the
MacCluen children

seem to have taken
a fancy to her.

If she became a nanny,
what she broke

and what the Mac children broke

might prove indistinguishable.

- They might even have the
goodness to break each other.

- Oh by all means look debauch
but try not to sound it.

So, how have you found Sarah?

- Sarah?

- I distinctly heard
you address her by name

in the hall just now, so I
am confident you need not

be reminded who or what
she, at least, is.

- I distinctly didn't find her.

You found her in a
queue for hot soup.

You also reinstalled her here.

- On approval.

So, has she proved satisfactory?

Should, in short,
Sarah be retained?

- I hardly noticed the girl.

- Well that is a recommendation
in itself.

[sighs]

But, this isn't.

She dusts around.

- Hmm say on.

There's so much dust here
Alice must have started it.

- Oh no, Rose would have seen.

What do you mean?

- I mean you can't say that
because if Rose had seen,

she'd have reprimanded Alice
and had her dust never again

around at all.

- If there'd been
anything to see.

- And, if she'd seen
it if there had been.

- Alice?

- Rose.

- I don't think you follow me.

- I don't think you've
quite made yourself clear.

- As clear as the litter
you've left on the floor.

- Huh?

- Well no doubt picking
it up might occupy Sarah,

but one should set servants
not only tasks, but examples.

Dropping cigar bands on
the floor as you just did

is only slightly more civilized

than spitting out cigar ends.

Is that what you propose
to do next?

- I pierced my cigar,
didn't you notice?

And, threw the band
in there, look.

- Threw it so hard it
bounced off the flames?

- Huh?

- And, over the room,
through the door to there?

And, I do fancy I
can just perceive

an expectorated cigar end.

- Extraordinary.

I could have sworn that...

You and Axel aren't
gonna get along I fear.

Cigar bands are neither here
nor there to him either.

- Axel?

- Captain Ryttsen.

- You are saying it is
your guess who has behaved

like a pig down here this
morning and not yourself?

- My guest has the cleaning
habits of his race.

Did I not tell you he
would be a Swede?

- I'm sure he is.

- You should not be
surprised, therefore, to hear

that he is where he is
every morning hard on noon,

still in his bath.

- Oh yes, I should be.

- I confess it's a place not
common if you're acquainted

by Englishmen every
morning let alone week.

- I think you're
mistaken, James.

I think however scrubbed he
has been a trot and a snuffle

about this house
while you snored

in your own porcine
way, soundly on.

- He is also an officer
and a gentleman.

I trust, Elizabeth, when
I introduce you to him,

you will use language that
justifies my describing you

as my sister.

Pig isn't a word one commonly
associates with breeding.

- Isn't it?

I thought that to breed
was the purpose of a pig.

Hence the expression
all men are pigs.

- I have never observed
nor heard of it observed,

a man give birth.

- No, it's invariably women
who bear the consequences

of swinish behavior.

Other than to behave like a pig,

what was the purpose
of your guest

in turning Mother's
favorite room into a sty?

- Oh if anybody did, I did.

- A noble pretense, James.

But, as one who does
all things by halves,

you are not capable
of such squalidity.

- Well, apparently
I was this morning.

- Apparently?

- Well who else could have been?

It is Sarah's first morning
duty to clean these rooms.

Since then the only
cigar-smoker to set foot,

or should I say, trotter
in them has been myself.

[coughing]

Dear me, too much schnapps
last night.

- Too much what?

- A Scandinavian beverage.

Axel brought a barrel.

- Hardly having noticed
Sarah, how can you so surely

adumbrate her duties?

[puffing]

To the extent of being
any way confident

she touched this room
at all this morning.

- Oh, it's [mumbles].

I am confident, Elizabeth,

because apart from
palpably lighting the fire,

she has also palpably
tidied away my cigar case.

- What cigar case?

- The cigar case I left
there last night.

- You've never had a cigar case.

- I have now.

- Abracadabra a cigar
case, an invisible one.

- No, I repeat the
Captain is a Swede.

- We were discussing a
fictitious cigar case

not an insalubrious foreigner.

- Swedes,

and, I tell you, Elizabeth,
I'd rather be a pig

than a prig,

have the civilized habit
of bringing gifts

to their host.

He bought me a very
splendid cigar case.

Even had the present thought
to have it inscribed,

not only with my initials,
but the crest of my regiment.

- I'll believe it when I see it.

- Yes, gold all through.

- You will melt it down or...

- Or?

- Might it have more
value as the frame it is?

I haven't seen one
like it before.

- Ah, it would be sacrilege

to separate it from
the portrait.

This is Tudor.

- Then burn the portrait.

- Burn it?

No, no.

- Yes, yes.

It's a family heirloom.

Could be very easily traced.

-[Jeweler] Not on the continent.

- Ah.

- Ah ha ha.

Take it to [speaking foreign
language] in Amsterdam.

I shall accept 30% of his 25%.

- It's worth my trouble?

I was sailing straight
to Stockholm.

- It's worth more than
all you've brought me

since you came to London.

- Mmm.

Well there are another six.

- I advise you strongly
to attend to them

forgetting all else.

This, however, is
by no means glass.

- And, it is by no means
of irresistible value.

- Leave it.

I'll reset the diamond
in an engagement ring.

- I'll leave you this instead.

- Mmm.

By itself it is scarcely
worth leaving.

- But, with the other
pieces from set.

- Ah, how will you bring
them, one by one?

- None by none.

Keep that one for surrendering.

- Surrendering?

To whom?

- I shall tell you
before I leave.

[speaking foreign language]

- A nice shield, worth melting.

- Have a cigar.

- You'll see my cigar case
when Sarah returns it to me.

- There's no need
to bluster, James.

It's a sign of mendacity.

- I am indifferent
to your insults.

You always were a
spiteful sister

and you're aging into
a worse spinster.

- Sticks and stones,
James, break no bones.

- Mmm, you've got that wrong.

Not bones, crones.

Is that why you've
come back so early?

- Hmm?

- Assumed, have you, so
correctly that my guest

is a bachelor.

- Oh really Jimmy child.

- Curiosity thrilled
the cat, huh?

- I will decide the
precise curiosity value

of your cigar-biting
friend when he returns.

At the moment, I'm fully
occupied by Mother's request

to see if the maid I've engaged
is proving satisfactory.

- If by that you mean
Sarah, stop playacting.

I heard you tell the
girl not to wear silk

so you'd decided to retain
her before you arrived.

- That was before
she took so long

to bring the coffee you ordered.

- Hmm, oh well if I've
forgotten it why shouldn't she?

Didn't you hear me mention
Axel to her?

Isn't it possible that
she is listening

for him to come down, not
wishing my coffee to get cold

while I, polite as
ever, await him?

- Captain Axel Ryttsen
has come down.

And, Captain Axel Ryttsen
has gone out.

- When?

- He passed me at the door

and I told Sarah so.

- Really?

I've never known him to get
up before noon previously

except on maneuvers.

- He didn't impress me as a rip.

- Why should he have?

- Well, with this hint and that,

you led me to expect one.

Instead I saw a man
who looked the part,

but behaved like a metronome.

- I led you to expect
someone who'd come and go

while you were away.

- Ah, am I untimely?

-[James] Huh?

- Have you been romping here?

- Romping?

- Schnappy?

I never knew that beverage
had the aroma of lavender.

- It hasn't.

- Well this sofa has.

And that chair exudes
[mumbles] of roses.

- My guest, Elizabeth, is
here on his military duties.

I am merely returning
hospitality

in every possible particular
that he afforded me

when I was in his
country on duty.

Romping has nothing
to do with it.

Find my cigar case, Sarah?

- Sir?

- I left...

Never mind.

- Sarah.

- Yes, Miss Elizabeth.

- What is so special
about these?

- Hmm?

- This and that?

- Would that be Chinese?

- I mean Sarah, they appear
to be the only ornaments

under which you have dusted.

- It's just that I'm frightened
to break the bigger things

so I don't like to shift them.

- I should not have
thought you were a girl

so easily frightened, Sarah

perceiving you are
still in silk.

- Well, I'm only
here till Monday.

- You may go out this
afternoon if you wish.

- Hmm?

- To remain here after Monday
in the unsilken uniform

you would do well
to come back with

from your afternoon outing.

- Thank you, Miss Elizabeth.

- Why disperse these?

This belongs in there and
so does that with the set.

- Then Mother dispersed the set.

Why shouldn't she?

- So, that she could put
it all back together again

when she came back
from Scotland?

- As she so often says, "one
must keep oneself occupied."

- What has getting up
at midday to do with?

The gallant Captain's
military duties

or shall it transpire
that he is in as much need

to recover from these
nightly romps as are you?

- It has to do, Elizabeth,
with the arduous nature

of his military duties.

- Oh?

- I recollect when I was in
Sweden observing maneuvers

for the War Office, my
duties were so pressing

I never got into plain clothes.

You will see that the Captain

suffers the same inconvenience.

- By plain clothes
you mean what?

- That he is so constantly on
duty that he invariably wears

his regimental uniform.

Surely you noticed
that at the door.

- Well if that was
a uniform, James,

it was a most unprecedented one,

the color of snuff and not
a brass button in sight.

-[Axel] Good morning.

-[James] Morning.

- Ah.

So, early [clicking]

and so charming.

But, are you Flossie or Flo?

I am to guess?

-[Elizabeth] Flossie or Flo who?

-[James] This is my
sister, Elizabeth.

- I assure you I am no
less charmed, Elizabeth.

- But, will Flossie and
Flo no less be too

when they arrive for
their afternoon romp

and find me present?

- Romp?

What is romp?

- More to the point,
sir, who are you?

- Captain...

James, please introduce me.

- My sister well knows who
you are, Captain Ryttsen.

I didn't hear you
go out nor return.

- Out?

- Out.

- It appears, Captain,
that my brother,

in the absence of his parents,

has been dining your countrymen
in this house en masse.

Coffee?

- Please.

- And, possibly due to
your barrel of schnapps

and various of these
Flossies and Flos,

at least one of them was
unable to proceed home

until after breakfast.

- Breakfast?

- Just a little bite of cigar.

[horse hooves clomping]

Flossie or Flo?

[door creaking]

[bell ringing]

[clattering]

[bell ringing]

- Look, listen, op
it, round and down,

through the bloody area.

- Good noon, Heir Berder.

- And, you can get out
of your fancy dress,

your little pant hose finish,
yours and your Captain's.

- Who left her luggage there?

It's in my way.

- The daughter's back
you fool, Miss Elizabeth.

- Oh, charming girl.

She will amuse the Captain.

[clattering]

Psst.

- Look, get back down there.

If she sees you it'll take
more than your precious Captain

to defend you.

- Did you drop something?

- Yes, a hint as big as...

What?

[clacking]

My, look who's being so helpful.

- You don't mind me helping
Mrs. Britches now do you?

- Well a cook likes to
be helped in the kitchen,

not in my pantry, you know.

- And, I like manly company.

- Well, if I'd have known that,

I'd have had you help me out
with the luggage just now.

- Ah but that was
woman's luggage.

Ooo, what is it?

- Garlic.

- Oh, it's horrible.

- Well the Swedes like it.

- Hmm, filthy beasts,
not fit for a dago.

- Now, Sarah, don't
you be so prim

or you'll come to no proper end.

I'm, I'm sorry I went
off at you just now,

but you really shouldn't
come in the front

dressed like that.

- Sir, these are my clothes
for coming in the front in.

[chuckling]

- In England, servants
know their place

and they get to it
through the area.

- In Sweden, under house
parlormaids do not do

the work of kitchen maids.

- Now you leave her alone.

She's being helpful
because she'd like to stay.

- Stay what, a virgin?

- Oh that's an awful
thing to say.

- Agreed, but I should
say in her case,

the difficulty would
be the opposite.

Now you see this cold,
skinny back.

It is her back, not
a boney breast.

- Now you mind your
wicked tongue.

You'll need a nice
new pin for this.

- He needs his tiger stripes on

to remind him of what
an insignificant

little person he is.

- Ah, in my tiger stripes
I might use the area,

but dressed like this,
I'll be taken

for an English gentleman
slipping down

to get a working girl
into trouble.

- English gentlemen
don't do that,

'cause English working
girls won't let them.

What do Swedish gentlemen do?

- Having been invited
I shall demonstrate.

[shouting]
[slapping]

- I've warned you.
- Sarah.

- Next time.

Well, look what he did.

- You see, virginity is just
another word for hysteria

sprung from self-inflicted
disappointment.

- Foreigners.

[crunching]

They're all the same, different.

[distant horse hooves clomping]

- Pin in the hall, cigar
case on the stairs.

What else did you shed
romping your way to bed?

[horse hooves clomping]

- Yes.

-[Elizabeth] Hmm?

- This time yes,
Flossie and Flo.

- What makes you so sure?

- Experience.

They're acquaintances of James,

but I am a gentleman
they have not met before,

so like all English ladies
consumed by curiosity

they will be punctual.

[bell ringing]

- Your experience should
tell you, Captain,

that in England, ladies do
not call on gentlemen at all.

- In Sweden every woman is
a lady to every gentleman.

Do you play cards?

- What?

- Flossie and Flo do.

Said they'll stake their
clothes on a hand

and lose with a smile.

- Before luncheon?
[bells ringing]

- Luncheon?

If they're as expert
as James has promised

the game will not come to a
climax until after dinner.

- Then bon apetit, or
should I say bon romp?

- The Dardia Duchess of Amira

and the Dardia Marchioness
of Calenso.

- Ha!

- Yes.

- Elizabeth!

- This is Captain Ryttsen.

- Ha!

- Why are you in uniform?

- To do battle.

[heels clicking]

- Ha ha.

You've filled out,
hasn't she Flo?

- Yes, Flossie.

Where did you get that
marvelously bloody color?

- Scotland.

- Good God.

Shut that.

[giggling]

[groaning]

- Hey what's that?

We're not in the kitchen.

- I've gotta go out.

- Out for what?

- Out for to buy myself
a cotton uniform.

I've been asked to stay.

- Ah that's good that
you've been asked.

That was a weakness before.

- Yeah but it is not good
that you stole the picture.

You did, didn't you?

- Only to save you the trouble.

- Yeah but you left
a mark on the wall.

- Who cares?

We will not be taking the wall.

[clattering]

[groaning]

Now when you go out.

- Yes?

- When you go out, I want
you to find a messenger

and have him deliver this.

You shall tell the messenger

it's from the Embassy of
Sweden and that it is urgent.

That is what this inscription
means in my language.

You perceive?

- Yeah, but it's addressed
to Captain Ryttsen.

- Well?

[groaning]

- He's here now.

- So, here is where you will
tell the messenger to deliver.

Now, in Sweden you will
behave like a Swedish girl,

that is without question.

- Who's gonna teach me?

- We have time for
a quick lesson.

[playful music]

-[Axel] Yes.

- It's for you, Axel.

- Oh, how intrusive.

- From the Swedish Embassy,
sir, urgent.

- I must ask you to...

- Don't retire with it.

Indeed, don't you retire at all.

- Thank you.

- I don't read Swedish.

- I'm summoned to Stockholm.

-[Flo] Never mind Stockholm.

- I regret I must immediately.

- I must remind you,
sir, you are ahead.

- It is not a position
from which

an officer and a gentleman
may propose to stop play.

- I do not propose.

This insists.

- Will you accept my note

for 730 pounds?

- And, mine for 810?

-[Axel] Mmm?

- Would you prefer to count
your winnings yourself?

- Winnings?

What gentleman wins from a lady?

Please.

[tapping]

Hearts.

For you, I think diamonds.

[chuckling]

- Why do you do it?

- Winning is so easy,
cheating so dangerous.

- But, you handsome
goose, think of the risk.

- I always do and
always survive it.

- But, one day you
will be accused

before you've time to explain

and then your reputation
will be gone.

- That is the essence
of the excitement.

What more can a man risk
than his reputation?

And, how else so surely
yet innocently?

- It's more dangerous
than you think.

I was pretty sure
you were cheating.

- No.

As a player you knew
I was cheating.

As my friend,

you weren't quite sure.

Now, I may go.

- Oh.
- Oh.

- I shall shake your
hand on my way out

in only a few moments.

Thorkil will remain behind
to receive some things

I've purchased for
gifts upon my homecoming

and will follow as best he can.

- Thorkil?

-[James] Thorkil Kraft.

His groom and batman.

- Or as the English say because
of the waistcoat, my tiger.

[clock ticking]

- Darling.

- Hmm.

- Darling, this is
Thorkil's friend.

-[Jeweler] You are Sarah.

- Surprise, yeah?

- I never saw so well-dressed
an under house parlormaid.

- We're two of a kind,
Thorkil and me.

- But, if you are here,

that means that he
leaves today, yes?

- Half past four.

Message delivered.

- You're very calm.

- Hmm?

- Thorkil told me what
you have agreed to do.

- Oh.

[chuckling]

- Wait, your parcel.

- Oh my horrible cotton uniform.

Still I'll only have to
wear it a couple of hours

if you do what Thorkil
said you've agreed to.

- I shall do it at 4:00 sharp.

Tell Thorkil that.

- With this.

- With that.

- Until 4:00 then.

- I don't suppose
we'll meet again.

- Hmm, perhaps.

[giggling]

He promises me every year
he'll show me his Stockholm.

- Ah well, I'll send
you a postcard

when I get there next week.

And, I'll get Thorkil
to send you one as well.

Or would that be dangerous?

- How could it be?

- It would be evidence
linking us surely.

- Evidence, oh that is
a policeman's word.

Besides, aren't you forgetting
it won't be a real policeman?

- Ah, silly me.

[chuckling]

- Yes, Sarah, silly you.

- At 4:00.

- Good.

Then I shall give this
back and say my piece.

- And, I'll get into
this and say mine.

- Speak to no stranger
on the ferry.

- Why can't we go the
North Sea together?

- I doubt James Bellamy has
200 pounds upon his person.

You will most certainly have
to wait for the morning.

- Hmm?

- The banks.

- But, you wait and
meet every boat

at the [speaking foreign
language] until I come.

- Into your cotton.

Get ready in 10 minutes.

Less.

[knocking]

- Come in.

Ha, off are you?

- Might I ask you, sir, did
you give my master this?

- Hmm?

- When he told me he was going
ahead under urgent orders,

I opened his suitcase
to begin packing.

He told me he'd already packed

and I should need only to
bring his luggage with me,

which I found curious.

I had the suitcase
open, you see sir

and he saw me perceive this.

What was even more curious
is that he seemed to have

a need to say something
about it to me, his servant.

What he said was that
you had given it him

as a farewell present.

- What is even more
curious, Kraft,

is your behavior as a servant
in the absence of your master.

- It is not the first time,
sir, that I've taken measures

to preserve the honor he
delights to put at risk.

I can best explain by saying
that when he plays cards--

-[James] Eh.

- He frequently...

- I know.

What's the connection with that?

- He not only pretends to cheat,

he pretends to steal.

It's due to the Scandinavian
sickness.

-[James] Hmm?

- Boredom, sir.

The long winter nights
I believe.

Well, unfortunately last
winter was so protracted

I feared all summer
he will for once

take too big a risk.

He returns these
things, you see,

with a teasing letter.

-[James] Then you'd
better take it with you.

So, that he can have his fun.

- I am perturbed I did
not see the contents

of the light bag he took.

[gulping]

- Please, thank him for
the schnapps he's left me.

- Sets like that always
have 10 pieces.

Today I can count only
eight in the house

including this one.

- Kraft!

I am utterly fed up with
being asked by all and sundry

about the periconations
of those objects.

- Now it is possible
that they were shifted

in order to make it
more difficult to notice

how many remained.

The tie pin you're wearing
and that cigar case

you're just opening, the
Captain tried to take them too.

I found them and made
sure your footman

found them too, so to speak.

I fear that's why the
Captain's gone without me.

He realizes what I've
done and he's too furious

to tolerate my presence
till he's calmed down.

- I'm not surprised.

Was most uppity of you.

- Yesterday I made sure your
cook found your cuff links

and the day before that
the under house parlormaid

found your gold pencil.

Were you not suspicious

about all those objects
disappearing?

[puffing]

- My objects are always
disappearing.

- Then, sir, you would
not be able to say

if everything was
in its place now.

You do see my point.

- No.

If anything has disappeared,
it will eventually return

according to your
own statements.

- But, in what manner, sir?

Frequently, to extend the risk,

he places pieces in pawn
and sends the ticket

with a money draft
for redemption.

Now what if an item of
value arises suspicion?

What if the police are advised

before the Captain
has explained?

But, from the way they
have returned the things

they thought they found, you
know you have honest servants.

But, even so, your
whole household

would fall under suspicion.

What will you tell the police?

That a friend took it in jest?

- What if red roses turn blue?

- You might not be present
when the police called, sir.

And, perhaps your sister
would recall the Captain

from the jeweler's description.

- Yes.

I apologize.

You did well to warn me.

- Better surely, sir, if
someone with no real reputation

to lose sacrificed it.

- Huh?

- The under house parlormaid.

- Sarah?

- The Captain, I regret
to say, has taste

for younger women
than the ladies

to whom you've introduced him.

- Are you daring to suggest--

- No sir, to tell.

- I trust she shan't have
to bear the consequences

of his tastes, but I don't
see why she should suffer

for his pranks.

[bell ringing]

- She's quite willing to
for suitable compensation.

- Ah.

- No sir, not blackmail
compensation.

If anything should be
brought here by the police

she will then say she pawned it.

If you will then say
you gave it her.

- Good Lord, gave it her, why?

- For services rendered,
sir, by night.

Except you will hardly
need to say so.

It's the only explanation
to spring to mind.

- To a dirty mind.

- The policemen are
only human too, sir.

- And, what is Sarah?

Any gossip like that
and every decent house

in London will be closed to her.

- Therefore, if the
occasion arises,

she will accept 200 pounds.

Six or seven years' wages.

I'm sure, too, sir when
the Captain hears

he will contribute another 200

and insist upon recompensing
you.

- And you, Kraft, what'll
be your reward?

- Oh I have that, sir.

Always in the estimation
my master has for me.

- Sir.

-[James] Yes?

- The police, sir, and a person

whose name I could not
catch, a foreign name, sir.

[door creaking]

- You sent for me, sir?

-[James] Yes, come
in Sarah, please.

- You are Sarah--

- I will question my
own servants, Inspector.

Now Sarah, this is a policeman.

This is a jeweler.

And, they say that a certain
person pawned this article

this afternoon and was
followed back here.

- The other piece, not that one.

- The one I brought.

- Really, does it matter?

Was followed back here,
Sarah because the jeweler

took it upon himself
to think it suspicious

that so well-dressed a person
should want to pawn anything.

Now Sarah, have you anything

you feel you might say about it?

I don't know the precise
value of it,

but I should think it
would fetch 200 pounds,

maybe 300 pounds.

- Oh, well yes.

Have I to tell the truth,
sir, all of it?

[bells ringing]

- Anything you have to say.

- I pawned it to him.

I'm sorry, sir.

I haven't pawned
everything you've given me,

but I thought, well, if someone
was to come into my room

and see that, they might
tumble to us and... [gasping]

- I'm afraid I have
to ask you, sir,

whether you indeed did give
that article to the young woman.

- I trust you will then have
the discretion to ask no more.

- I see, sir.

Quite sir.

- I do apologize, sir.

I thought, I thought...

And, I apologize
to you too, miss.

I could have sworn a
gentleman pawned it.

I must have been dreadfully
confused.

[clattering]

- Sir, the police, sir
and a lady whose name

I could not catch.

- Oh, what are you doing here?

- Excuse me.
- What are you?

- Good afternoon, Lieutenant.

- Ah, Inspector Hurst.

You identify this
man as a person?

- Certainly not, this
man is my husband

and didn't I tell you it was...

That's her.

- Well, what is this?

- Identify this as
your property, sir?

-[James] Huh, my mother's yes.

Where did you get it?

- I got it

from her.

What are you doing here?

- I thought that I'd
received stolen property.

I went to the police.

- The two of us?

- Hmm?

- Well, we have two
shops, you see.

When this girl brought
that miniature

I could tell at a glance
it was a Hilliard,

but I made sure of it

with the National
Portrait Society.

They were able to tell and
it's of enormous value.

- Hardly the thing to be
given lightly to a servant.

- Given, uh, to a servant?

- Now I know that I could
confuse nobody.

That was the woman.

Good heavens, she's
probably been pawning things

all over London all afternoon.

- I didn't.

I pawned, I mean, I bought
this cotton uniform.

Look.

- I must ask you, sir,
most regretfully,

why you've attempted
to shield a thief?

- Will you permit a foreigner?

As my master left only
two hours ago,

I conclude that Lieutenant
Bellamy

was concerned that so timely
departure after robbery

might place him under suspicion.

And, being unaware that
anything of real value

had been stolen told,
as the English say,

a white but noble lie,
even if it meant

sacrificing his own
domestic reputation.

[heels clicking]

I will tell the Captain and
I'm sure he will be impressed

and touched, sir.

I trust I may absent myself
from the distressful spectacle

of this young miscriant's
arrest.

- You criminal.

These are real police.

- I'm in no doubt of it.

And, no doubt they
will see to it

that you will feel
quite at home in prison.

[heels clicking]

[speaking foreign language]

- It is [speaking foreign
language] for Amsterdam.

- What does he say?

That it is unusually good
weather for Amsterdam.

- It's raining.

- It's his way of saying that
the miniatures are genuine.

[speaking foreign language]

-[Axel] What now?

- He says it's a famous set.

[speaking foreign language]

But, there should be seven.

[speaking foreign language]

Yeah, such a pity
we stole only six.

- Tell him one had to be
sacrificed to my reputation.

It was so hard to
preserve what's rest of it

since I was court marshaled
over that unfortunate card game

with my Colonel.

["The Edwardians" by
Alexander Faris]