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In last week's episode of Soap,
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00:00:04,571 --> 00:00:07,072
Carol told Jodie she's pregnantand he's the father,
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00:00:07,073 --> 00:00:10,075
presenting Jodie with a problemthat won't disappear.
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00:00:10,076 --> 00:00:12,077
Because Elaine's fathercut her off,
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00:00:12,078 --> 00:00:13,579
her inheritance disappeared,
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00:00:13,580 --> 00:00:16,081
so Elaine and Danny hadto move in with Burt and Mary,
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00:00:16,082 --> 00:00:18,584
who wish she'd disappear.
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00:00:18,585 --> 00:00:20,085
Tim and Corinneare going to be married,
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00:00:20,086 --> 00:00:23,589
and Tim's mother wishesCorinne would disappear.
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00:00:23,590 --> 00:00:26,091
Chester and Dutchdisappeared from prison
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00:00:26,092 --> 00:00:28,093
and had the policelooking for them.
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00:00:28,094 --> 00:00:30,095
Benson, Billy, Eunice,and Corinne
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00:00:30,096 --> 00:00:31,096
disappeared from the dining room
14
00:00:31,097 --> 00:00:33,098
and had Jessicalooking for them.
15
00:00:33,099 --> 00:00:35,601
Then Jessica disappeared.
16
00:00:35,602 --> 00:00:36,602
Confused?
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00:00:36,603 --> 00:00:38,605
You won't beafter this week's episode of...
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00:00:44,611 --> 00:00:46,612
This is the storyof two sisters,
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00:00:46,613 --> 00:00:49,114
Jessica Tate
20
00:00:49,115 --> 00:00:51,116
and Mary Campbell.
21
00:00:51,117 --> 00:00:54,620
These are the Tates...
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00:00:54,621 --> 00:00:58,624
and these are the Campbells.
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00:00:58,625 --> 00:01:00,627
And this is Soap.
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All right, Mrs. Tate,
25
00:01:32,158 --> 00:01:34,159
you scream for help,
and I'll blow your head off.
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00:01:34,160 --> 00:01:36,161
Do as he says, Jess.
27
00:01:36,162 --> 00:01:37,663
Chester?
28
00:01:37,664 --> 00:01:39,665
Is that you, Chester?
29
00:01:39,666 --> 00:01:41,667
Oh, darling, darling,
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00:01:41,668 --> 00:01:43,168
you did escape.
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00:01:43,169 --> 00:01:45,170
That's right,
and we're hiding out here.
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00:01:45,171 --> 00:01:46,171
Now, all of you
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00:01:46,172 --> 00:01:48,173
just go about doing
whatever it is you do,
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00:01:48,174 --> 00:01:51,176
and remember, one word of this,
and somebody gets killed.
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00:01:51,177 --> 00:01:54,680
Oh, don't be silly,
36
00:01:54,681 --> 00:01:56,682
but you don't have
to hide down here.
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00:01:56,683 --> 00:01:59,184
We have a perfectly lovely
guest room upstairs,
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00:01:59,185 --> 00:02:02,187
with a private bath.
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00:02:02,188 --> 00:02:03,689
Jess, we've escaped.
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00:02:03,690 --> 00:02:04,690
We have to hide.
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00:02:04,691 --> 00:02:07,693
Okay, everybody, get up.
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00:02:07,694 --> 00:02:08,694
Now, all of you
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00:02:08,695 --> 00:02:11,196
just go about your lives
as if nothing was going on.
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00:02:11,197 --> 00:02:13,699
Fine, I'll go get dessert.
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00:02:13,700 --> 00:02:15,200
You hold it right there.
46
00:02:15,201 --> 00:02:17,703
Okay, now, everybody,
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00:02:17,704 --> 00:02:20,706
you're all to live
perfectly normal lives.
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00:02:20,707 --> 00:02:23,208
Sure, a normal life
with a gun up my nose?
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00:02:23,209 --> 00:02:25,210
Billy, don't be rude.
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After all, Butch is our guest.
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I'm Dutch.
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Dutch?
53
00:02:30,216 --> 00:02:31,717
Hold it right there,
54
00:02:31,718 --> 00:02:33,219
buster.
55
00:02:34,721 --> 00:02:38,724
No, you fool, this man is Dutch.
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The Dutch are on our side.
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00:02:45,231 --> 00:02:47,733
I'm very sorry, captain.
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Get over there.
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00:02:51,738 --> 00:02:53,238
Okay, now,
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remember, one word...
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00:02:54,741 --> 00:02:57,242
one word from anybody,
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and he dies.
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00:02:58,244 --> 00:03:00,246
Anything in particular
we'd have to say?
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00:03:12,258 --> 00:03:14,760
Uh, it's a great meal, darling.
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00:03:14,761 --> 00:03:16,262
It's really
just a wonderful dinner.
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00:03:20,266 --> 00:03:21,767
This stuffing's the pits.
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00:03:21,768 --> 00:03:22,768
I'll kill her.
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00:03:22,769 --> 00:03:23,769
I swear, I'll kill her.
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00:03:23,770 --> 00:03:24,770
Easy, now, Mary, Mary, Mary.
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00:03:24,771 --> 00:03:26,271
Come on, now.
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00:03:26,272 --> 00:03:28,774
So we didn't know that Elaine
doesn't like stuffing.
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00:03:28,775 --> 00:03:29,775
She's probably allergic to it
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00:03:29,776 --> 00:03:31,276
and had a reaction.
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00:03:31,277 --> 00:03:32,277
Just...
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00:03:33,780 --> 00:03:35,782
Elaine, please.
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00:03:40,787 --> 00:03:42,288
Have a nice day today, darling?
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00:03:46,292 --> 00:03:47,292
Darling?
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00:03:48,294 --> 00:03:49,795
Nice day?
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00:03:49,796 --> 00:03:51,797
It was okay.
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00:03:51,798 --> 00:03:53,298
Come on, Elaine,
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00:03:53,299 --> 00:03:55,300
my mother worked hard
on this meal.
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00:03:55,301 --> 00:03:57,302
I'd rather starve to death.
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00:03:57,303 --> 00:03:59,805
Why don't you? You could stand
to lose a few pounds.
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00:04:01,307 --> 00:04:02,307
Let go of me.
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00:04:02,308 --> 00:04:03,809
Hey, she didn't mean it, Elaine.
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00:04:03,810 --> 00:04:04,810
She didn't mean it.
87
00:04:04,811 --> 00:04:05,812
I meant it.
88
00:04:07,814 --> 00:04:09,315
Take it easy.
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00:04:10,817 --> 00:04:12,317
How was work today, darling?
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00:04:12,318 --> 00:04:14,820
Oh, it's... the usual.
91
00:04:14,821 --> 00:04:17,322
Let's go out for dinner.
92
00:04:17,323 --> 00:04:18,323
Elaine,
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00:04:18,324 --> 00:04:19,324
the way you've been
spending dough,
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00:04:19,325 --> 00:04:20,826
I can't afford it.
95
00:04:20,827 --> 00:04:21,827
You can't afford it?
96
00:04:21,828 --> 00:04:22,828
You can't afford anything.
97
00:04:22,829 --> 00:04:24,329
That's because
you've got the brain
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00:04:24,330 --> 00:04:27,332
of a flea.
99
00:04:27,333 --> 00:04:28,333
Okay.
100
00:04:28,334 --> 00:04:31,337
Danny, Danny, Danny, Danny!
101
00:04:33,840 --> 00:04:34,840
She's a girl.
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00:04:34,841 --> 00:04:36,843
Easy, fellow.
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00:04:39,846 --> 00:04:42,347
So...
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00:04:42,348 --> 00:04:43,849
how do you two guys
like working together?
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00:04:43,850 --> 00:04:45,851
Oh, it's terrific.
Great.
106
00:04:45,852 --> 00:04:47,352
Sure, one's got a flea brain,
107
00:04:47,353 --> 00:04:48,854
and the invisible man's
got none at all.
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00:04:52,859 --> 00:04:54,359
Easy, easy.
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00:04:54,360 --> 00:04:57,863
Darling, she's a girl.
110
00:05:07,373 --> 00:05:08,373
You through with that?
111
00:05:08,374 --> 00:05:10,376
Uh-huh...
112
00:05:14,881 --> 00:05:16,381
Uh...
113
00:05:16,382 --> 00:05:17,883
Why don't we just have
some dessert.
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00:05:19,886 --> 00:05:22,888
It's your favorite, Danny:
chocolate cream pie.
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00:05:22,889 --> 00:05:25,391
Oh, God, I hope
there's a stomach pump handy.
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00:05:28,895 --> 00:05:30,896
Take it easy, boys.
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00:05:30,897 --> 00:05:34,399
Come on, now, we're adults,
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00:05:34,400 --> 00:05:35,400
and for the time being,
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00:05:35,401 --> 00:05:36,401
the four of us
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00:05:36,402 --> 00:05:37,903
are sharing this house together.
121
00:05:37,904 --> 00:05:39,905
We have to learn
to live together.
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00:05:39,906 --> 00:05:42,407
We have to have respect
for each other.
123
00:05:42,408 --> 00:05:43,909
We're adults.
124
00:05:43,910 --> 00:05:44,911
Sit down.
125
00:05:47,914 --> 00:05:49,414
We really need that.
126
00:05:49,415 --> 00:05:50,916
Why don't you just apply it
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00:05:50,917 --> 00:05:52,918
directly to your hips?
128
00:05:58,424 --> 00:06:00,426
It's not for me, dear.
It's for you.
129
00:06:31,958 --> 00:06:32,958
What are you doing here?
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00:06:32,959 --> 00:06:34,960
I don't know.
131
00:06:34,961 --> 00:06:36,461
You came
all the way up those stairs,
132
00:06:36,462 --> 00:06:37,963
and you don't know why?
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00:06:37,964 --> 00:06:40,465
Maybe I came up here
because I like to look at you.
134
00:06:40,466 --> 00:06:41,466
To look at me?
135
00:06:41,467 --> 00:06:43,468
Yeah, you're pretty.
No, I'm not pretty.
136
00:06:43,469 --> 00:06:44,970
Sure you are.
No, I'm not.
137
00:06:46,973 --> 00:06:48,473
Hey, you're very pretty.
138
00:06:48,474 --> 00:06:50,976
Listen, you,
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00:06:50,977 --> 00:06:52,978
if you came up here
intending to rape me,
140
00:06:52,979 --> 00:06:53,979
let me tell you right now
141
00:06:53,980 --> 00:06:55,981
it's not going to be
any fun at all,
142
00:06:55,982 --> 00:06:57,482
because I'll spit in your face.
143
00:06:57,483 --> 00:06:58,984
I'll scratch
your eyes out. Hey, hey.
144
00:06:58,985 --> 00:07:00,485
I'll kill you
before I let you... Hey...
145
00:07:00,486 --> 00:07:01,987
Yeah, what?
146
00:07:01,988 --> 00:07:04,990
I happen to be a killer,
not a rapist.
147
00:07:04,991 --> 00:07:09,494
Oh, I love it.
A killer looks down on a rapist.
148
00:07:09,495 --> 00:07:10,996
And if I was a rapist,
149
00:07:10,997 --> 00:07:12,999
let me tell you something,
I wouldn't rape you...
150
00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:15,000
But I'm not a rapist.
151
00:07:15,001 --> 00:07:19,004
Oh, and how come
you wouldn't rape me?
152
00:07:19,005 --> 00:07:20,005
Because I'm not pretty?
153
00:07:20,006 --> 00:07:23,508
No, you are pretty.
You're very pretty.
154
00:07:23,509 --> 00:07:25,010
Why would you think
that you're not pretty?
155
00:07:25,011 --> 00:07:26,511
Because
when I was a little girl,
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00:07:26,512 --> 00:07:29,014
I was fat and I had buck teeth.
157
00:07:29,015 --> 00:07:30,096
I looked like a blowfish...
158
00:07:32,018 --> 00:07:33,518
And it doesn't matter
what anyone says
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00:07:33,519 --> 00:07:35,020
or how I look or what I do.
160
00:07:35,021 --> 00:07:36,521
I still feel like
161
00:07:36,522 --> 00:07:38,023
a fat little funny-looking
7-year-old girl.
162
00:07:38,024 --> 00:07:39,524
That's funny.
163
00:07:39,525 --> 00:07:40,525
That's not a bit funny.
164
00:07:40,526 --> 00:07:42,527
No, but that's how I feel.
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00:07:42,528 --> 00:07:45,530
Like a fat little
7-year-old girl?
166
00:07:45,531 --> 00:07:49,534
No, like a puny, little,
skinny little 9-year-old.
167
00:07:49,535 --> 00:07:51,036
You see, when I was a kid,
168
00:07:51,037 --> 00:07:53,038
I had
all these terrible allergies.
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00:07:53,039 --> 00:07:55,040
I had asthma and
hayfever and hives.
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00:07:55,041 --> 00:07:56,541
You name it,
I was allergic to it.
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00:07:56,542 --> 00:07:59,544
I spent my whole childhood
just trying to get a breath,
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00:07:59,545 --> 00:08:01,046
and I was
real sickly looking too.
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00:08:01,047 --> 00:08:03,548
The kids used to call me Worm
and beat me up.
174
00:08:03,549 --> 00:08:05,050
Oh...
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00:08:05,051 --> 00:08:08,053
When I was 11,
I changed my name to Dutch.
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00:08:08,054 --> 00:08:10,555
They still called me Worm.
It used to make me so mad.
177
00:08:10,556 --> 00:08:13,058
And so you became a killer.
178
00:08:13,059 --> 00:08:16,061
What are you, crazy?
I was 11.
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00:08:16,062 --> 00:08:18,063
Oh, yeah.
180
00:08:18,064 --> 00:08:19,064
Worm...
181
00:08:19,065 --> 00:08:21,566
Can you imagine that,
being called Worm?
182
00:08:21,567 --> 00:08:24,569
Well, listen, they used
to call me Butterball.
183
00:08:26,572 --> 00:08:27,572
They called you Butterball?
Mm-hmm.
184
00:08:27,573 --> 00:08:30,075
Everyone except Corinne.
185
00:08:30,076 --> 00:08:32,078
She used to call me Lardo.
186
00:08:34,080 --> 00:08:35,580
Butterball...
187
00:08:37,083 --> 00:08:38,583
I think that's kind of cute.
188
00:08:38,584 --> 00:08:40,585
That is not a bit cute.
189
00:08:41,587 --> 00:08:44,089
How you doing, Butterball?
190
00:08:44,090 --> 00:08:45,591
Knock it off, Worm.
191
00:08:51,597 --> 00:08:53,598
I can't believe I'm sitting here
192
00:08:53,599 --> 00:08:56,101
laughing with a killer.
193
00:08:56,102 --> 00:08:57,602
I can't believe I'm sitting here
194
00:08:57,603 --> 00:09:00,605
laughing with a rich girl.
195
00:09:00,606 --> 00:09:03,608
Well... You're really very nice.
196
00:09:03,609 --> 00:09:04,610
So are you...
197
00:09:06,112 --> 00:09:07,112
And you're very pretty.
198
00:09:07,113 --> 00:09:08,613
No.
199
00:09:08,614 --> 00:09:11,116
It's too bad I'm not a rapist.
200
00:09:18,124 --> 00:09:19,124
Oh, Burt.
201
00:09:19,125 --> 00:09:20,625
I know, Mary, I know.
202
00:09:20,626 --> 00:09:21,626
Three meals a day.
203
00:09:21,627 --> 00:09:22,627
I know.
204
00:09:22,628 --> 00:09:24,629
That's 21 meals a week.
205
00:09:24,630 --> 00:09:25,630
I know, Mary.
206
00:09:25,631 --> 00:09:28,133
I wonder how many meals a year
that is.
207
00:09:28,134 --> 00:09:31,137
1092.
208
00:09:34,140 --> 00:09:35,641
BOB: Chuck.
209
00:09:37,643 --> 00:09:39,644
BOB: Chuck!
210
00:09:39,645 --> 00:09:41,146
Bob, I have a date.
211
00:09:41,147 --> 00:09:43,148
Now, go back to bed
and don't wait up, okay?
212
00:09:43,149 --> 00:09:44,149
I'm going with you.
213
00:09:44,150 --> 00:09:45,650
You're not going.
Yes, I am.
214
00:09:45,651 --> 00:09:47,152
Look, Bob. Wait a minute, Bob.
215
00:09:47,153 --> 00:09:48,653
No more.
216
00:09:48,654 --> 00:09:50,155
We have been through this
how many times?
217
00:09:50,156 --> 00:09:51,156
You know what I think?
218
00:09:51,157 --> 00:09:53,658
I think it stinks,
that's what I think.
219
00:09:53,659 --> 00:09:55,160
Come on, Bob.
220
00:09:55,161 --> 00:09:56,161
Now, look,
221
00:09:56,162 --> 00:09:58,163
if you had the date,
I wouldn't go with you.
222
00:09:58,164 --> 00:10:00,165
I mean, I just want
to be alone with her.
223
00:10:00,166 --> 00:10:02,167
You'll be alone.
I won't say a word.
224
00:10:02,168 --> 00:10:03,668
I just want to see the movie.
225
00:10:03,669 --> 00:10:05,670
Gee, I got all dressed up
and everything.
226
00:10:05,671 --> 00:10:09,174
Chuck, Chuck, go. I can babysit.
227
00:10:09,175 --> 00:10:10,675
Hey, thanks, Dad.
228
00:10:10,676 --> 00:10:12,177
Yeah, okay, fine, fine,
229
00:10:12,178 --> 00:10:13,678
don't take me
with you tonight...
230
00:10:13,679 --> 00:10:14,679
Yeah, yeah.
231
00:10:14,680 --> 00:10:15,680
And I don't go with you
232
00:10:15,681 --> 00:10:16,681
to the audition tomorrow.
233
00:10:16,682 --> 00:10:18,183
Come on, Bob.
234
00:10:18,184 --> 00:10:20,185
I mean, that could be
a big break for us.
235
00:10:20,186 --> 00:10:23,189
No, you want to be alone.
236
00:10:24,690 --> 00:10:26,191
Well, you can be
alone there too.
237
00:10:26,192 --> 00:10:27,192
We'll just see
238
00:10:27,193 --> 00:10:28,694
how your career takes off.
239
00:10:34,700 --> 00:10:36,701
Okay, okay, okay, you can come.
240
00:10:36,702 --> 00:10:37,702
Yeah?
241
00:10:37,703 --> 00:10:40,706
Yeah, but this time,
keep your hands off her.
242
00:10:45,211 --> 00:10:46,711
Burt,
243
00:10:46,712 --> 00:10:51,716
do you think Chuck might need
some professional help?
244
00:10:51,717 --> 00:10:54,719
No, no, no, no, no,
245
00:10:54,720 --> 00:10:56,721
I just think
he's got to discipline Bob more.
246
00:10:56,722 --> 00:10:57,723
That's all.
247
00:11:03,729 --> 00:11:06,231
Oh, my God, they're back.
248
00:11:06,232 --> 00:11:09,234
Oh, Jodie.
How you doing, fellow?
249
00:11:09,235 --> 00:11:10,735
Fine, great. Hiya, Ma.
250
00:11:10,736 --> 00:11:13,238
Hello, honey.
How are you?
251
00:11:13,239 --> 00:11:15,240
Fine, terrific,
never felt better in my life.
252
00:11:15,241 --> 00:11:17,742
You know, I felt so good,
I had to drive up and say hello.
253
00:11:17,743 --> 00:11:18,743
You've got a problem.
254
00:11:18,744 --> 00:11:20,245
Boy, do I have a problem.
255
00:11:21,747 --> 00:11:24,249
Well... you know,
you two guys talk, you know...
256
00:11:24,250 --> 00:11:25,750
No, Burt, it's okay,
you can stay,
257
00:11:25,751 --> 00:11:27,252
but please, no cracks, huh?
258
00:11:27,253 --> 00:11:28,254
I mean, this is serious.
259
00:11:35,761 --> 00:11:36,761
What is it?
260
00:11:36,762 --> 00:11:38,263
Carol's pregnant,
and I'm the father.
261
00:11:46,772 --> 00:11:48,774
I knew it, I knew it!
262
00:11:50,776 --> 00:11:52,277
I knew he wasn't a pansy.
263
00:11:52,278 --> 00:11:54,279
Look at this guy now.
Look at him!
264
00:11:54,280 --> 00:11:57,282
Burt,
this doesn't mean I'm not gay.
265
00:11:57,283 --> 00:11:59,784
Jodie, please, what it means is
266
00:11:59,785 --> 00:12:01,786
you're good at it.
267
00:12:01,787 --> 00:12:03,788
The first time, she's pregnant.
268
00:12:03,789 --> 00:12:05,290
It's beginner's luck.
269
00:12:05,291 --> 00:12:08,793
How about this man?
Look at him here.
270
00:12:08,794 --> 00:12:10,795
Mary, he made a girl pregnant.
271
00:12:10,796 --> 00:12:12,297
Well, I must say,
272
00:12:12,298 --> 00:12:15,300
it wasn't something
I expected from you.
273
00:12:15,301 --> 00:12:17,802
From Danny, yes, but you...
274
00:12:17,803 --> 00:12:18,803
Yeah, I know,
275
00:12:18,804 --> 00:12:20,805
but I don't know
what to do about it.
276
00:12:20,806 --> 00:12:22,307
You just do it a few more times,
277
00:12:22,308 --> 00:12:23,308
you'll be hooked.
278
00:12:23,309 --> 00:12:24,810
It's like pretzels.
279
00:12:30,316 --> 00:12:33,318
Burt, this is serious.
280
00:12:33,319 --> 00:12:37,322
Burt, Carol is pregnant.
I'm in love with Dennis.
281
00:12:37,323 --> 00:12:38,324
Aww...
282
00:12:39,825 --> 00:12:41,826
This is not the perfect match.
I mean...
283
00:12:41,827 --> 00:12:44,329
Mom, what do I do?
284
00:12:44,330 --> 00:12:47,832
I don't know what to tell you.
285
00:12:47,833 --> 00:12:51,336
I mean, when you were 6,
and you came home from day camp
286
00:12:51,337 --> 00:12:53,838
because Perry Miller
was splashing you,
287
00:12:53,839 --> 00:12:55,340
I could say, "Splash back,"
288
00:12:55,341 --> 00:12:57,342
but this...
289
00:12:57,343 --> 00:13:01,347
How can I tell you how to spend
the rest of your life?
290
00:13:02,848 --> 00:13:05,350
I have no frame of reference
for this.
291
00:13:05,351 --> 00:13:06,851
I know.
292
00:13:06,852 --> 00:13:08,853
There are not a lot of books
written on the subject.
293
00:13:08,854 --> 00:13:10,355
Who'd want to read them?
294
00:13:10,356 --> 00:13:12,858
I'm going to get some coffee.
295
00:13:14,860 --> 00:13:16,361
Oh, Jodie, I'm sorry.
296
00:13:16,362 --> 00:13:18,863
I don't mean to let you down.
I love you.
297
00:13:18,864 --> 00:13:20,365
I wish I had an answer.
298
00:13:20,366 --> 00:13:22,867
It's okay, Ma,
really, it's okay,
299
00:13:22,868 --> 00:13:25,870
and your answers
aren't so hot anyway, lady.
300
00:13:25,871 --> 00:13:27,372
If you remember,
301
00:13:27,373 --> 00:13:29,375
when I splashed Perry Miller,
he broke my nose.
302
00:13:33,379 --> 00:13:34,880
He did.
303
00:13:43,389 --> 00:13:44,389
Hi.
304
00:13:44,390 --> 00:13:46,891
Hi.
305
00:13:46,892 --> 00:13:49,394
Were you sitting there
watching me?
306
00:13:49,395 --> 00:13:51,896
Yeah, I guess.
307
00:13:51,897 --> 00:13:53,398
Oh, I look terrible.
308
00:13:53,399 --> 00:13:55,900
I look so awful in the morning.
309
00:13:55,901 --> 00:13:57,902
No, you don't.
You look pretty.
310
00:13:57,903 --> 00:13:59,404
No, I don't.
311
00:13:59,405 --> 00:14:01,406
Sure you do.
You look real pretty.
312
00:14:01,407 --> 00:14:02,907
You've got real pink cheeks,
313
00:14:02,908 --> 00:14:06,411
and your eyes are real sparkly.
314
00:14:06,412 --> 00:14:07,412
You look very pretty.
315
00:14:07,413 --> 00:14:09,414
Your breath
just smells a little.
316
00:14:09,415 --> 00:14:11,417
Oh...
317
00:14:15,921 --> 00:14:16,921
That's just because
318
00:14:16,922 --> 00:14:18,423
I haven't brushed my teeth.
319
00:14:18,424 --> 00:14:19,424
You know, listen.
320
00:14:19,425 --> 00:14:20,925
I'm sorry about last night.
321
00:14:20,926 --> 00:14:23,928
I'm really sorry.
322
00:14:23,929 --> 00:14:25,430
You're sorry?
323
00:14:25,431 --> 00:14:26,931
Yeah, I shouldn't have,
I really shouldn't have.
324
00:14:26,932 --> 00:14:28,433
I mean, I ain't got no business
325
00:14:28,434 --> 00:14:29,434
being with a girl like you.
326
00:14:29,435 --> 00:14:30,935
You're used to
327
00:14:30,936 --> 00:14:32,937
a whole different class of guy.
328
00:14:32,938 --> 00:14:34,439
It was the best ever,
329
00:14:34,440 --> 00:14:35,440
with you.
330
00:14:35,441 --> 00:14:36,941
Well, that's because
331
00:14:36,942 --> 00:14:38,943
you probably haven't been
with a guy before
332
00:14:38,944 --> 00:14:41,946
that hasn't seen a woman
in two years.
333
00:14:41,947 --> 00:14:43,448
Where are you going?
334
00:14:43,449 --> 00:14:44,449
Back to the basement.
335
00:14:44,450 --> 00:14:46,951
Oh, don't go.
336
00:14:46,952 --> 00:14:49,454
What do you want with me?
337
00:14:49,455 --> 00:14:50,455
I like you.
338
00:14:50,456 --> 00:14:51,456
Come on.
339
00:14:51,457 --> 00:14:52,457
I do.
340
00:14:52,458 --> 00:14:53,459
You like me?
341
00:14:54,960 --> 00:14:55,960
Get out of here.
342
00:14:55,961 --> 00:14:57,462
I do.
343
00:14:57,463 --> 00:15:00,465
Well, if you like me,
I guess I can't be all bad.
344
00:15:00,466 --> 00:15:01,467
You're not bad.
345
00:15:03,469 --> 00:15:04,969
Will I see you tonight?
346
00:15:04,970 --> 00:15:06,471
I don't think so.
347
00:15:06,472 --> 00:15:07,472
Why?
348
00:15:07,473 --> 00:15:11,476
Eunice, I'm wanted in 10 states.
10 states!
349
00:15:11,477 --> 00:15:13,478
I ain't got no future,
350
00:15:13,479 --> 00:15:14,979
and if I ain't got no future,
351
00:15:14,980 --> 00:15:17,482
I don't want you
to start being special to me.
352
00:15:19,485 --> 00:15:20,986
Am I special to you?
353
00:15:22,988 --> 00:15:24,990
Am I?
354
00:15:26,992 --> 00:15:28,493
Go brush your teeth.
355
00:15:32,498 --> 00:15:34,499
Well, Mary, tell me, what is it?
356
00:15:34,500 --> 00:15:36,501
I mean,
you sounded positively frantic
357
00:15:36,502 --> 00:15:37,502
over the phone.
358
00:15:37,503 --> 00:15:39,003
You won't believe it.
359
00:15:39,004 --> 00:15:42,507
You will absolutely not believe
what is going on in my life.
360
00:15:42,508 --> 00:15:44,008
This is big.
361
00:15:44,009 --> 00:15:45,009
Big?
362
00:15:45,010 --> 00:15:47,011
Oh, Mary,
you don't know what big is,
363
00:15:47,012 --> 00:15:48,012
because, of course,
364
00:15:48,013 --> 00:15:50,515
you don't know what's going on
in my life.
365
00:15:50,516 --> 00:15:52,016
What?
366
00:15:52,017 --> 00:15:54,018
That Corinne is
marrying a priest?
367
00:15:54,019 --> 00:15:55,019
Corinne?
368
00:15:55,020 --> 00:15:57,522
Oh, that is nothing.
369
00:15:57,523 --> 00:15:58,523
Well, what is it?
370
00:15:58,524 --> 00:16:00,024
No, Mary,
371
00:16:00,025 --> 00:16:02,026
you tell me yours first,
372
00:16:02,027 --> 00:16:06,531
because after I tell you mine,
you will not be able to talk.
373
00:16:06,532 --> 00:16:09,534
Okay, but put
your cup down first.
374
00:16:09,535 --> 00:16:11,036
Otherwise, you will
spill your tea.
375
00:16:13,539 --> 00:16:16,542
Jodie is going to be a father.
376
00:16:29,555 --> 00:16:31,557
Dennis is pregnant?
377
00:16:38,063 --> 00:16:41,065
No! Carol.
378
00:16:41,066 --> 00:16:43,568
Oh,
379
00:16:43,569 --> 00:16:47,573
because if it was Dennis,
you're right, that's big.
380
00:16:49,575 --> 00:16:52,577
He got a girl pregnant.
381
00:16:52,578 --> 00:16:55,079
My gay son
is going to be a father.
382
00:16:55,080 --> 00:16:57,582
That's your news?
383
00:16:59,084 --> 00:17:02,587
You don't think that's big news?
384
00:17:02,588 --> 00:17:04,088
No, that's news.
385
00:17:04,089 --> 00:17:06,090
I think that's news,
386
00:17:06,091 --> 00:17:08,593
not big news, but news.
387
00:17:11,096 --> 00:17:12,597
Not big news?
388
00:17:12,598 --> 00:17:15,099
Not compared to mine.
389
00:17:15,100 --> 00:17:16,601
Oh, really?
390
00:17:16,602 --> 00:17:18,102
Get ready, Mary.
391
00:17:18,103 --> 00:17:20,605
I'm ready, I'm ready.
392
00:17:20,606 --> 00:17:22,106
Mary,
393
00:17:22,107 --> 00:17:24,108
what do you think that I have
394
00:17:24,109 --> 00:17:25,610
in my basement?
395
00:17:27,613 --> 00:17:28,613
A thing.
396
00:17:28,614 --> 00:17:31,115
Your big news is about a thing?
397
00:17:31,116 --> 00:17:35,119
No, Mary, not a thing.
398
00:17:35,120 --> 00:17:37,122
Well, what is it?
399
00:17:38,624 --> 00:17:40,626
Two killers.
400
00:17:44,630 --> 00:17:48,132
Jessica,
what are you talking about?
401
00:17:48,133 --> 00:17:49,634
"Two killers."
402
00:17:49,635 --> 00:17:51,636
Two killers, Mary.
403
00:17:51,637 --> 00:17:54,639
I mean, I have two killers
in my basement.
404
00:17:54,640 --> 00:17:57,142
Who are they?
405
00:17:59,144 --> 00:18:03,147
Well, Chester is one of them,
but Dutch is the other one.
406
00:18:03,148 --> 00:18:04,649
You mean they came here?
407
00:18:04,650 --> 00:18:06,150
Yes, Mary, they're hiding out,
408
00:18:06,151 --> 00:18:08,152
and Dutch said
if we went for help,
409
00:18:08,153 --> 00:18:10,655
he'd kill us.
410
00:18:10,656 --> 00:18:12,156
You're kidding.
Uh-uh.
411
00:18:12,157 --> 00:18:13,157
Jessica, that's awful.
412
00:18:13,158 --> 00:18:16,661
You see, I told you.
Mine's bigger.
413
00:18:16,662 --> 00:18:20,665
Well, I don't know
if it's bigger, Jessica.
414
00:18:20,666 --> 00:18:21,666
It's awful...
415
00:18:23,669 --> 00:18:26,671
But I don't know if it's bigger.
416
00:18:26,672 --> 00:18:29,173
Two killers, Mary.
417
00:18:29,174 --> 00:18:30,675
I mean, I think two killers
418
00:18:30,676 --> 00:18:34,679
is bigger than a gay guy
and one pregnant girl.
419
00:18:34,680 --> 00:18:37,682
Yeah, I guess it's bigger.
420
00:18:37,683 --> 00:18:39,183
Although, yours is big.
421
00:18:39,184 --> 00:18:40,685
Of course it's big.
422
00:18:40,686 --> 00:18:43,188
It's just not bigger.
423
00:18:46,191 --> 00:18:48,693
I would have had you
if it had been Dennis.
424
00:18:59,204 --> 00:19:02,707
Ma, it's not your fault.
425
00:19:02,708 --> 00:19:04,709
Oh, Corinne, I'm sorry.
426
00:19:04,710 --> 00:19:05,710
I...I mean,
427
00:19:05,711 --> 00:19:08,212
I wanted to give you
a wonderful wedding,
428
00:19:08,213 --> 00:19:10,214
and now your very own father
429
00:19:10,215 --> 00:19:12,717
can't even be here.
430
00:19:12,718 --> 00:19:14,218
Ma, it's all right.
431
00:19:14,219 --> 00:19:15,219
I wonder,
432
00:19:15,220 --> 00:19:16,721
do you think it's too late
433
00:19:16,722 --> 00:19:19,724
to have the reception
down in the basement?
434
00:19:19,725 --> 00:19:20,725
Oh, Corinne,
435
00:19:20,726 --> 00:19:22,226
it's so hard to know what to do
436
00:19:22,227 --> 00:19:23,728
when there's an escaped prisoner
437
00:19:23,729 --> 00:19:25,229
in the family.
438
00:19:25,230 --> 00:19:26,230
Sorry.
439
00:19:27,733 --> 00:19:29,233
Ma,
440
00:19:29,234 --> 00:19:33,237
all I want is to marry Tim,
441
00:19:33,238 --> 00:19:36,741
and it's finally going
to come true.
442
00:19:36,742 --> 00:19:38,242
I'm happy, Ma,
443
00:19:38,243 --> 00:19:40,745
and if you gave me
the most elaborate,
444
00:19:40,746 --> 00:19:42,246
the fanciest wedding
in the whole world,
445
00:19:42,247 --> 00:19:44,249
it couldn't make me any happier.
446
00:19:46,251 --> 00:19:48,252
Oh, I love you, Corinne.
447
00:19:48,253 --> 00:19:49,253
I love you.
448
00:19:49,254 --> 00:19:50,254
I love you too, Ma.
449
00:19:50,255 --> 00:19:52,257
I know.
450
00:19:55,260 --> 00:19:56,761
I'll wave to you.
451
00:19:56,762 --> 00:19:58,262
Okay.
452
00:20:01,266 --> 00:20:02,266
Well, you're about ready?
453
00:20:02,267 --> 00:20:03,768
Yeah.
454
00:20:03,769 --> 00:20:06,771
How does it feel
to break your word?
455
00:20:06,772 --> 00:20:07,772
What?
456
00:20:07,773 --> 00:20:09,774
Don't your remember?
457
00:20:09,775 --> 00:20:11,776
You told me
when you were 9 years old
458
00:20:11,777 --> 00:20:14,278
that you'd never get married,
not in a million years.
459
00:20:14,279 --> 00:20:16,781
Did I really say that?
460
00:20:16,782 --> 00:20:18,282
Yeah.
461
00:20:18,283 --> 00:20:21,786
It was all on account of a fight
you'd had with Tommy Gibbs.
462
00:20:21,787 --> 00:20:23,287
You and he
had made some lemonade,
463
00:20:23,288 --> 00:20:25,289
and when the fight started,
464
00:20:25,290 --> 00:20:27,291
he ran home,
and you gave me his share,
465
00:20:27,292 --> 00:20:30,294
but what I remember most
about it was...
466
00:20:30,295 --> 00:20:34,298
we sat on the porch
and drank lemonade,
467
00:20:34,299 --> 00:20:35,800
and you called me
your best friend.
468
00:20:37,803 --> 00:20:41,305
Oh, Benson... You are.
469
00:20:41,306 --> 00:20:42,807
You really are.
470
00:20:45,310 --> 00:20:48,312
Oh, my gosh.
471
00:20:48,313 --> 00:20:50,815
Who is that?
472
00:20:50,816 --> 00:20:53,818
That's Mrs. Flotsky.
That's Tim's mother.
473
00:20:53,819 --> 00:20:55,820
We never thought
she'd come to the wedding.
474
00:20:55,821 --> 00:20:58,322
This is wonderful.
Tim will be so happy.
475
00:21:04,830 --> 00:21:06,330
Father Tim, what
are you doing here?
476
00:21:06,331 --> 00:21:09,333
I'm getting married.
Didn't you know, Father?
477
00:21:09,334 --> 00:21:13,338
You mean priests can marry now?
478
00:21:15,340 --> 00:21:17,341
No, Father,
I'm no longer a priest.
479
00:21:17,342 --> 00:21:21,846
Oh. I thought
it seemed too good to be true.
480
00:21:49,374 --> 00:21:52,376
And now,
if the father of the bride
481
00:21:52,377 --> 00:21:55,379
could please take his place
482
00:21:55,380 --> 00:21:56,881
with the other guests...
483
00:21:56,882 --> 00:21:57,882
Excuse me.
484
00:21:58,884 --> 00:22:01,385
Oh, will the best friend
of the bride
485
00:22:01,386 --> 00:22:03,888
please take his place
with the other guests,
486
00:22:03,889 --> 00:22:04,890
yes.
487
00:22:10,896 --> 00:22:13,397
Dearly beloved,
488
00:22:13,398 --> 00:22:15,399
we are gathered here
in the sight of God
489
00:22:15,400 --> 00:22:17,401
to join this man and this woman
490
00:22:17,402 --> 00:22:18,402
in holy matrimony.
491
00:22:18,403 --> 00:22:21,405
If any person
can show just cause
492
00:22:21,406 --> 00:22:24,408
why they may not
lawfully be joined together,
493
00:22:24,409 --> 00:22:26,410
let him now declare it
494
00:22:26,411 --> 00:22:29,413
or forever hold his peace.
495
00:22:29,414 --> 00:22:30,915
And now, if the groom...
496
00:22:30,916 --> 00:22:33,417
"Just cause?!"
I'll give you just cause.
497
00:22:33,418 --> 00:22:36,420
What right does that bimbo have
to take my son's life
498
00:22:36,421 --> 00:22:37,922
and turn it into garbage?
499
00:22:37,923 --> 00:22:40,424
Oh,
you could have been a bishop,
500
00:22:40,425 --> 00:22:41,425
at least, by now,
501
00:22:41,426 --> 00:22:42,927
if it weren't for this tramp,
502
00:22:42,928 --> 00:22:43,928
or maybe even a cardinal.
503
00:22:43,929 --> 00:22:44,929
Ma...
504
00:22:44,930 --> 00:22:46,430
There should be laws
against you.
505
00:22:46,431 --> 00:22:48,933
You're a terrible,
terrible person.
506
00:22:48,934 --> 00:22:50,936
Yes you are. Terrible!
507
00:22:53,939 --> 00:22:55,440
There be no just cause.
508
00:22:57,943 --> 00:22:59,945
Let us proceed.
509
00:23:01,446 --> 00:23:03,447
Tim...
510
00:23:03,448 --> 00:23:05,950
do you take Corinne,
here present,
511
00:23:05,951 --> 00:23:07,451
to be your lawful wife
512
00:23:07,452 --> 00:23:08,953
according to the right
513
00:23:08,954 --> 00:23:10,955
of the holy church of God?
514
00:23:10,956 --> 00:23:12,457
I do, Father.
515
00:23:22,467 --> 00:23:23,968
Will Danny and Elaine
516
00:23:23,969 --> 00:23:25,469
ever have a relationshipthat works?
517
00:23:25,470 --> 00:23:26,971
Will Chuckever have a relationship
518
00:23:26,972 --> 00:23:28,472
with Bob around?
519
00:23:28,473 --> 00:23:31,475
What will be leftof Burt and Mary's relationship
520
00:23:31,476 --> 00:23:33,978
living with Danny and Elaineand Chuck and Bob?
521
00:23:33,979 --> 00:23:35,479
What kind of a relationship
522
00:23:35,480 --> 00:23:37,481
could Eunice and Dutchever have?
523
00:23:37,482 --> 00:23:39,483
Will Tim's relationshipwith his mother
524
00:23:39,484 --> 00:23:41,986
destroy his relationshipwith Corinne?
525
00:23:41,987 --> 00:23:44,989
What kind of relationshipcan Chester and Jessica have
526
00:23:44,990 --> 00:23:46,490
with Chesterliving in the basement
527
00:23:46,491 --> 00:23:48,492
and Jessica living upstairs?
528
00:23:48,493 --> 00:23:50,995
These questions and many otherswill be answered
529
00:23:50,996 --> 00:23:52,497
on next's week episode of...
530
00:23:59,504 --> 00:24:02,506
Soap is videotapedbefore a studio audience.
35669
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