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1
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♪ Look at what's
happened to me ♪
2
00:00:14,563 --> 00:00:18,580
♪ I can't believe it myself ♪
3
00:00:18,604 --> 00:00:22,540
♪ Suddenly I'm up
on top of the world ♪
4
00:00:22,564 --> 00:00:28,510
♪ It should have
been somebody else ♪
5
00:00:28,534 --> 00:00:32,530
♪ Believe it or not
I'm walking on air ♪
6
00:00:32,554 --> 00:00:37,370
♪ I never thought I
could feel so free ♪
7
00:00:37,394 --> 00:00:40,570
♪ Flying away on a
wing and a prayer ♪
8
00:00:40,594 --> 00:00:44,490
♪ Who could it be ♪
9
00:00:44,514 --> 00:00:49,534
♪ Believe it or
not it's just me ♪
10
00:00:51,394 --> 00:00:54,570
♪ Just like the
light of a new day ♪
11
00:00:54,594 --> 00:01:00,361
♪ It hit me from
out of the blue ♪
12
00:01:00,385 --> 00:01:02,571
♪ Breaking me out
of the spell I was in ♪
13
00:01:02,595 --> 00:01:07,395
♪ Making all of my
wishes come true ♪
14
00:01:09,385 --> 00:01:12,561
♪ Believe it or not
I'm walking on air ♪
15
00:01:12,585 --> 00:01:17,461
♪ I never thought I
could feel so free ♪
16
00:01:17,485 --> 00:01:21,501
♪ Flying away on a
wing and a prayer ♪
17
00:01:21,525 --> 00:01:24,605
♪ Who could it be ♪
18
00:01:25,375 --> 00:01:30,495
♪ Believe it or
not it's just me ♪
19
00:01:31,515 --> 00:01:35,371
♪ Who could it be ♪
20
00:01:35,395 --> 00:01:39,556
♪ Believe it or
not it's just me ♪♪
21
00:01:46,436 --> 00:01:48,552
I gotta say it looks real
good on you, Ralph. Huh?
22
00:01:48,576 --> 00:01:51,422
The badge, the
I.D. Think about it.
23
00:01:51,446 --> 00:01:55,552
The pride, the "espreet" de corps. I mean,
why can't you love this outfit the way I do?
24
00:01:55,576 --> 00:01:58,452
Because it's 2:00 in the
morning, I have an 8:00 class,
25
00:01:58,476 --> 00:02:01,512
and it's esprit de
corps, Bill, not "espreet."
26
00:02:01,536 --> 00:02:05,362
Okay, we got 2:00 a.m.
minus four and counting.
27
00:02:05,386 --> 00:02:08,422
See, uh, swing shift always ducks
out a couple of minutes early...
28
00:02:08,446 --> 00:02:10,422
and graveyard's always
a couple of minutes late.
29
00:02:10,446 --> 00:02:13,502
Now, in that little short period of time,
we got the joint almost to ourselves.
30
00:02:13,526 --> 00:02:15,502
A breach of security?
That's not good.
31
00:02:15,526 --> 00:02:19,363
Yeah, well, we're working on that. In
the meantime, tonight we make history.
32
00:02:19,387 --> 00:02:21,583
Tonight, we pull the whole
history of the bureau into a knot.
33
00:02:21,607 --> 00:02:24,403
Say something, anything.
34
00:02:24,427 --> 00:02:26,583
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
We are about to make history tonight...
35
00:02:26,607 --> 00:02:29,563
by breaking into the F.B.I. basement
and severing the Gordian knot.
36
00:02:29,587 --> 00:02:33,413
And you are there.
Okay, let's go, Mr. Berle.
37
00:02:33,437 --> 00:02:36,533
What's a Gordian knot?
You know, a myth. Mythology.
38
00:02:36,557 --> 00:02:40,373
More egghead stuff. No, Bill, it's
actually a very fascinating concept.
39
00:02:40,397 --> 00:02:44,513
See, a Gordian knot was a knot of rope
so complicated that you couldn't untie it.
40
00:02:44,537 --> 00:02:47,493
So? You couldn't untie it.
41
00:02:47,517 --> 00:02:51,433
Like, uh, like life, you know? You have to
chop it up with an ax into little bitty pieces.
42
00:02:53,457 --> 00:02:55,543
A metaphor. A what?
43
00:02:55,567 --> 00:02:58,608
A poetic notion. Ralph...
44
00:02:59,378 --> 00:03:02,374
I know, more egghead stuff.
I'm trying to help you here, kid.
45
00:03:02,398 --> 00:03:05,584
Why can't you come down a little to
be with the rest of us ordinary folks?
46
00:03:05,608 --> 00:03:07,608
You mean like, walk
"thith" way? What?
47
00:03:08,378 --> 00:03:09,608
Thith way. Thith way.
48
00:03:10,378 --> 00:03:11,608
Ralph, we are...
49
00:03:12,378 --> 00:03:15,534
We have got a whole swing shift of
federal agents coming off shift right now.
50
00:03:15,558 --> 00:03:18,404
We're supposed to be
as invisible as is possible.
51
00:03:18,428 --> 00:03:20,404
Well, why didn't you say so?
52
00:03:20,428 --> 00:03:22,418
What are you do... Ralph!
53
00:03:23,508 --> 00:03:25,574
Don't do that! God!
54
00:03:25,598 --> 00:03:29,384
I got you the I.D. so that
you wouldn't have to do...
55
00:03:29,408 --> 00:03:32,404
I hate it when you do this,
Ralph. Where are you? Right here.
56
00:03:32,428 --> 00:03:35,404
Where? How can you do
that with your clothes on?
57
00:03:35,428 --> 00:03:39,365
I've been practicing without my shirt,
Bill. I think I'm getting the hang of it.
58
00:03:39,389 --> 00:03:42,545
Yeah, terrific. Let
go. You're killing me.
59
00:03:42,569 --> 00:03:46,519
Hiya, Freddie.
Charles. Good night.
60
00:03:48,479 --> 00:03:50,585
Ha! Where is it?
61
00:03:50,609 --> 00:03:53,609
End of this hall, I
think. You think?
62
00:03:54,379 --> 00:03:56,485
Well, I never been
inside. Very few guys have.
63
00:03:56,509 --> 00:03:58,495
How come you never
thought of this before?
64
00:03:58,519 --> 00:04:02,375
Well, I did, but it's triple-A security.
It, uh, took this long to liberate the key.
65
00:04:02,399 --> 00:04:04,575
Ralph, you're giving me
the heebie-jeebies with that.
66
00:04:04,599 --> 00:04:08,515
I don't believe you. You're all the time
crabbing about me not practicing. I'm practicing.
67
00:04:08,539 --> 00:04:11,585
Bill, that's a lighted doorway down
there. You said there was nobody here.
68
00:04:11,609 --> 00:04:15,475
Wasn't. I walked this
thing last night. Damn!
69
00:04:15,499 --> 00:04:17,539
You go by, Bill. I'm invisible.
70
00:04:19,530 --> 00:04:22,516
Ralph, I don't think
much of your practicing.
71
00:04:22,540 --> 00:04:25,506
Look at you. Oh, gee.
There it goes again.
72
00:04:25,530 --> 00:04:29,446
Well, concentrate. Obviously,
you got to concentrate all the time.
73
00:04:29,470 --> 00:04:32,586
If, uh, a real grabber comes along, you're
gonna pop back in. You got to fight that.
74
00:04:32,610 --> 00:04:37,536
Wow. You're right, Bill. Anything
shocking and I just pop back in.
75
00:04:37,560 --> 00:04:40,476
Uh, Ralph, I just said
that. Now go on, will you?
76
00:04:40,500 --> 00:04:44,386
I'll just ease on by. Oh, boy.
77
00:04:44,410 --> 00:04:48,386
Just remember... concentrate.
78
00:04:48,410 --> 00:04:50,510
You're not impressed
by anything.
79
00:04:58,450 --> 00:05:01,367
O'Neil. What are
you doing down here?
80
00:05:01,391 --> 00:05:03,477
Bill... I mean, Mr. Maxwell.
81
00:05:03,501 --> 00:05:07,497
What is this? Cement
phone booth? It's all they had.
82
00:05:07,521 --> 00:05:09,517
In the basement?
83
00:05:09,541 --> 00:05:12,567
But you were all the way up on the top
floor, next door to Carlisle. What happened?
84
00:05:12,591 --> 00:05:17,487
Well... What did he do? Gave
your office to some punk kid, I bet.
85
00:05:17,511 --> 00:05:21,407
I said I hated the color. He's
putting up new wallpaper.
86
00:05:21,431 --> 00:05:25,497
Oh, well, you had me worried there. I mean,
where would we be without our own, uh,
87
00:05:25,521 --> 00:05:29,587
brand-new, in-house efficiency
expert who, uh, can't sneak up on us?
88
00:05:29,611 --> 00:05:32,417
'Cause we all know when
she's coming. You do?
89
00:05:32,441 --> 00:05:35,557
All the way down the hall.
Might as well holler your name.
90
00:05:35,581 --> 00:05:37,557
Everybody knows
when it's O'Neil.
91
00:05:37,581 --> 00:05:40,612
It sounds like I'm not a
very good efficiency expert.
92
00:05:41,382 --> 00:05:43,408
How do you know
when I'm in the hall?
93
00:05:43,432 --> 00:05:49,368
I don't know. Uh, is it, uh,
gardenias or something?
94
00:05:49,392 --> 00:05:50,552
Lilacs.
95
00:05:54,572 --> 00:05:57,448
Anyway, flowers.
96
00:06:00,522 --> 00:06:02,532
Uh...
97
00:06:04,392 --> 00:06:06,458
- Hello.
- How do you do?
98
00:06:06,482 --> 00:06:09,518
Um, uh, uh...
99
00:06:09,542 --> 00:06:13,408
Is he always like this? I
don't know. I'm new here.
100
00:06:13,432 --> 00:06:17,388
Well, Mr. Maxwell was just kind of
showing me around the facility, so...
101
00:06:17,412 --> 00:06:19,378
- You picked the right time.
- Pardon?
102
00:06:19,402 --> 00:06:21,399
That's what I'm
doing. These studies.
103
00:06:21,423 --> 00:06:24,379
"Off-Shift, On-Shift
Parallax." Terribly inefficient.
104
00:06:24,403 --> 00:06:29,369
- Oh, I'm sorry.
- You could walk in here between
shifts, right now, for example,
105
00:06:29,393 --> 00:06:32,389
and you would have all three top
floors and the basement to yourself.
106
00:06:32,413 --> 00:06:36,469
Really? Imagine
that, Mr. Maxwell.
107
00:06:36,493 --> 00:06:41,519
Um, well, you keep
the gardenias now...
108
00:06:41,543 --> 00:06:44,589
so we know where you
are. Uh, lilacs, Mr. Maxwell.
109
00:06:44,613 --> 00:06:50,419
Yeah. Uh, good night, O'Neil.
Uh, I'm gonna be on time tomorrow.
110
00:06:50,443 --> 00:06:53,509
I hope so. You're one of the
worst offenders. Good night.
111
00:06:53,533 --> 00:06:56,429
Uh, good night, O'Neil.
112
00:06:56,453 --> 00:07:00,454
Ralph? Just keep
walking. Don't say anything.
113
00:07:05,424 --> 00:07:08,480
What are you looking
at? I don't know yet.
114
00:07:08,504 --> 00:07:12,494
Well, quit it or get invisible or something.
Here, this has got to be it. It's the last door.
115
00:07:18,384 --> 00:07:20,394
Ah.
116
00:07:36,504 --> 00:07:39,440
Oh, my sweet baboo!
117
00:07:39,464 --> 00:07:41,551
I knew it! I told
you it was here!
118
00:07:41,575 --> 00:07:45,411
Ali Baba and the 40
Thieves. Open, Sesame!
119
00:07:45,435 --> 00:07:47,401
Bill, look at all this stuff!
120
00:07:47,425 --> 00:07:51,501
You got feathers and fans and bones
and-and-and arrows and machetes...
121
00:07:51,525 --> 00:07:54,521
and knives and chains
and shackles and...
122
00:07:54,545 --> 00:07:58,401
Oh, look at here, Bill. You got a
1933 Cadillac in mint condition.
123
00:07:58,425 --> 00:08:00,421
Right. Right, I know that baby.
124
00:08:00,445 --> 00:08:03,571
That was a kidnap
car. Denver. 1933.
125
00:08:03,595 --> 00:08:08,421
Yeah. Yeah, that case, the Lindbergh
case, practically formed the bureau.
126
00:08:08,445 --> 00:08:11,391
Boy, we're really
dealing with history here.
127
00:08:11,415 --> 00:08:15,451
Every clue we ever found, every unsolved
F.B.I. case west of the Missouri River,
128
00:08:15,475 --> 00:08:17,571
and all the way back to
the beginning of the bureau.
129
00:08:17,595 --> 00:08:21,592
And we're gonna solve them
all. You and me and the suit.
130
00:08:21,616 --> 00:08:26,372
Oh, boy. I'm kinda getting sick
here being close to these guns.
131
00:08:26,396 --> 00:08:28,382
Well, you're getting
the vibes. That's good.
132
00:08:28,406 --> 00:08:32,432
Bill, everything in this room deals with
cruelty and hate and dishonesty and death.
133
00:08:32,456 --> 00:08:34,432
Yeah, but outside of that
we got a bonanza here.
134
00:08:34,456 --> 00:08:36,442
Why don't we start with the
easy stuff? Get behind the wheel.
135
00:08:36,466 --> 00:08:38,596
Oh, boy, this is
such a beautiful car.
136
00:08:44,456 --> 00:08:46,566
Okay, okay. I'm getting
something here. Yeah?
137
00:08:49,586 --> 00:08:52,426
- Uh...
- What?
138
00:08:54,436 --> 00:08:57,512
He's dead. The
kidnapper is long dead, Bill.
139
00:08:57,536 --> 00:08:59,532
His name was W. Smithers.
140
00:08:59,556 --> 00:09:03,573
Smithers. Yeah. Oh, boy,
would you believe that?
141
00:09:03,597 --> 00:09:07,553
He was the cop who investigated
the case. Isn't that pitiful?
142
00:09:07,577 --> 00:09:10,463
Wait a minute. I'm getting
something awful strong here. What?
143
00:09:10,487 --> 00:09:13,513
Uh, let me have that machine
gun. No, the other one.
144
00:09:13,537 --> 00:09:15,513
Let's see. Yeah.
145
00:09:15,537 --> 00:09:18,523
Yeah. Let's see, that's, uh,
146
00:09:18,547 --> 00:09:21,543
that's, uh, yeah, part
of an armory rip-off.
147
00:09:21,567 --> 00:09:23,543
This one turned up in Peru.
148
00:09:23,567 --> 00:09:27,413
Oh, boy, get this punch line.
There are 6,000 more of them.
149
00:09:27,437 --> 00:09:29,423
That's enough backup
for a whole division.
150
00:09:29,447 --> 00:09:31,573
Well, there are six of them
buried in a waterproof bag.
151
00:09:31,597 --> 00:09:33,583
Where? We never
found any of them.
152
00:09:33,607 --> 00:09:37,563
They're buried on the beach in a
sandbox. A child's sandbox. In Malibu.
153
00:09:37,587 --> 00:09:40,413
Right. Okay. Can
you get a person?
154
00:09:40,437 --> 00:09:43,564
Yeah, there's another gun, uh, in
a condo apartment in Palos Verdes.
155
00:09:43,588 --> 00:09:46,434
16805 Lamonte.
156
00:09:46,458 --> 00:09:49,554
The guy's there, Bill. He's taking a
shower. What... What's the matter?
157
00:09:49,578 --> 00:09:51,498
Wait! They're gonna...
What's the matter?
158
00:09:53,528 --> 00:09:55,514
They're... What's going
on? What's happening?
159
00:09:55,538 --> 00:09:57,514
I think I'm gonna
be sick. What is it?
160
00:09:57,538 --> 00:10:00,514
Bill, quick!
161
00:10:00,538 --> 00:10:03,454
Let me have your walkie-talkie! Quick,
give it to me! Yeah, okay. Here, here.
162
00:10:03,478 --> 00:10:06,408
I'll see you there. Take my
clothes! Yeah, I'll do it, okay.
163
00:11:07,480 --> 00:11:12,486
Ralph, come in. Uh, I don't get it.
Uh, what were these people doing?
164
00:11:12,510 --> 00:11:15,436
Well, they were watching
TV. Watching TV?
165
00:11:15,460 --> 00:11:18,456
We bagged... correction...
You alone bagged...
166
00:11:18,480 --> 00:11:20,476
two unknown
citizens watching TV?
167
00:11:20,500 --> 00:11:22,476
Come on, Ralph. Get serious.
168
00:11:22,500 --> 00:11:24,586
Well, there was one other
tie-in, sort of evidence.
169
00:11:24,610 --> 00:11:27,496
- Sort of evidence? I'm gonna get sick!
- Well, it's in code.
170
00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:31,486
Well, break it. I'm trying, Bill, but we
haven't worked on that yet, all right?
171
00:11:31,510 --> 00:11:35,406
Do you have anything real? I
got those guns. I got the guns.
172
00:11:35,430 --> 00:11:38,506
Well, that's sensational. Wh... a
thousand, two thousand, what?
173
00:11:38,530 --> 00:11:41,476
Two. I broke one.
174
00:11:41,500 --> 00:11:44,567
Two guns? That's all?
175
00:11:44,591 --> 00:11:47,581
Well, except for the other six I said
were in the sandbox at the beach.
176
00:11:53,411 --> 00:11:55,497
- Bill, hold it! Where are you?
- Uh, what's the matter?
177
00:11:55,521 --> 00:11:58,527
- Left, go left. Now!
- I can't. There's nothing there.
178
00:11:58,551 --> 00:12:00,597
Get out of that lane, Bill,
do it. Just do it, Bill, wreck it!
179
00:12:00,621 --> 00:12:03,441
Turn left! Left! Hit the wall!
180
00:12:17,521 --> 00:12:19,581
Stop.
181
00:12:22,512 --> 00:12:24,552
Turn around, please.
182
00:12:27,492 --> 00:12:30,392
Go get him out.
183
00:12:32,422 --> 00:12:35,412
Please.
184
00:13:15,433 --> 00:13:18,449
Well, you got to tell them
something, Bill. I do? Okay, that's easy.
185
00:13:18,473 --> 00:13:22,479
I just tell them my friend told me to use my
G.I. car as a corkscrew on a cement wall...
186
00:13:22,503 --> 00:13:24,479
so I wouldn't run over a dog.
187
00:13:24,503 --> 00:13:26,499
Five dollar dog
versus a $10,000 car.
188
00:13:26,523 --> 00:13:29,499
- That's easy. They ought to have
no problem with that, Ralph.
- Forgive me.
189
00:13:29,523 --> 00:13:31,499
They're not gonna take
your badge away from you.
190
00:13:31,523 --> 00:13:34,479
- Huh?
- I mean, because you trashed
a couple of cars. How many?
191
00:13:34,503 --> 00:13:37,539
Five. Five? So what?
192
00:13:37,563 --> 00:13:39,599
In 18 months.
193
00:13:39,623 --> 00:13:45,530
Well, so, you trash five little, dumb
brown cars in 18 months. I mean, big deal.
194
00:13:45,554 --> 00:13:47,550
No kidding? Five
cars in 18 months?
195
00:13:47,574 --> 00:13:49,540
Ralph, are you
trying to help me?
196
00:13:49,564 --> 00:13:53,394
Of course I'm trying to help
you, Bill. Try another approach.
197
00:13:54,514 --> 00:13:58,590
Oh, no. Oh, no!
198
00:13:58,614 --> 00:14:01,430
That's your car there,
isn't it? Who is that guy?
199
00:14:01,454 --> 00:14:05,380
- Insurance adjuster. I know him real well now.
- He looks like a sourpuss.
200
00:14:05,404 --> 00:14:07,460
He loves me. I'm
making him rich,
201
00:14:07,484 --> 00:14:11,464
shoving up the car premiums
for the whole bureau. Sorry, Bill.
202
00:14:13,604 --> 00:14:16,474
Who cares about dogs anyway?
203
00:14:20,614 --> 00:14:24,431
Sir William of Maxwell,
of course. Who else?
204
00:14:24,455 --> 00:14:27,391
We love you, baby. You're driving
up the premiums for the entire bureau.
205
00:14:27,415 --> 00:14:30,521
Uh, how'd you do this? I
was trying not to hit a dog.
206
00:14:30,545 --> 00:14:34,555
Right. A 502... drunken and
disorderly. Ha, ha. Only kidding.
207
00:14:36,495 --> 00:14:38,481
Mr. Maxwell. Huh?
208
00:14:38,505 --> 00:14:41,391
Guys in the mail room are jumping
up and down, falling off the chairs.
209
00:14:41,415 --> 00:14:44,561
What? And we're taking bets we're
not gonna lose you over this, sir.
210
00:14:44,585 --> 00:14:46,515
God bless you, sir.
211
00:14:58,625 --> 00:15:01,505
There he is! There he is!
212
00:15:20,456 --> 00:15:23,472
Records. Give me Records.
Well, get them off the phone.
213
00:15:23,496 --> 00:15:25,572
Break in. This is a
code two emergency.
214
00:15:25,596 --> 00:15:29,552
Uh, we-we just, uh...
Mr. Maxwell, we just wanted...
215
00:15:29,576 --> 00:15:31,552
Oh, Annie, you do it.
216
00:15:31,576 --> 00:15:33,602
Mr... Mr. Maxwell, could
you sign this, please?
217
00:15:33,626 --> 00:15:36,402
Oh, yeah, sure. Where? Anyplace.
218
00:15:36,426 --> 00:15:39,582
One for Annie, one for
Jane and, uh, one for Mike.
219
00:15:39,606 --> 00:15:42,572
One for Mike? Uh,
that's my boyfriend.
220
00:15:42,596 --> 00:15:45,407
Uh, and can you put
something nice on mine?
221
00:15:47,397 --> 00:15:50,433
Well, where are the other signatures? What
is this, a petition? What am I signing?
222
00:15:50,457 --> 00:15:54,403
Well, it's your autograph. You
know, something to remember you by.
223
00:15:54,427 --> 00:15:58,403
Well, you have to admit, your kind of
celebrity doesn't come along every day.
224
00:15:58,427 --> 00:16:00,527
I was trying not to hit a dog.
225
00:16:10,407 --> 00:16:14,603
Mr. Maxwell. Are you all right?
226
00:16:14,627 --> 00:16:18,463
Sit down. Um, listen.
227
00:16:18,487 --> 00:16:20,543
Uh, you probably heard... What?
228
00:16:20,567 --> 00:16:25,394
Uh, well, see, I...
229
00:16:25,418 --> 00:16:27,574
I, uh, trashed five
cars in 18 months.
230
00:16:27,598 --> 00:16:30,484
Bill, nobody cares
about that. Huh?
231
00:16:30,508 --> 00:16:33,424
Not after last
night. They don't?
232
00:16:33,448 --> 00:16:35,554
Don't you realize
what you've done?
233
00:16:35,578 --> 00:16:38,574
Have you seen the morning paper?
234
00:16:38,598 --> 00:16:41,474
In the newspapers? Oh, no.
235
00:16:41,498 --> 00:16:43,504
I was just trying
not to hit the dog.
236
00:16:43,528 --> 00:16:47,564
I'd know that voice
anywhere, by golly.
237
00:16:47,588 --> 00:16:50,564
There's a Maxwell around here.
238
00:16:50,588 --> 00:16:56,444
My favorite voice, favorite
guy. Bill, huh? Is this a guy?
239
00:16:56,468 --> 00:16:59,554
Is this an arm or what?
This is the arm that did it.
240
00:16:59,578 --> 00:17:02,594
Gentlemen. Bill, I want
you to meet Mr. Williams,
241
00:17:02,618 --> 00:17:05,585
Mr. Newton, Mr. Rogers,
out of Washington.
242
00:17:05,609 --> 00:17:10,385
We can't stay... on the way to the plane...
but we just wanted to meet the man that did it.
243
00:17:10,409 --> 00:17:13,475
We just want you to know that we've
got a red flag on your file from now on.
244
00:17:13,499 --> 00:17:17,565
- We've got our eye on you.
- Mr. Maxwell,
you dropped your paper.
245
00:17:17,589 --> 00:17:19,565
Now, I-I don't
want to sound silly,
246
00:17:19,589 --> 00:17:22,525
but I am not going to give
up the credit on this man.
247
00:17:22,549 --> 00:17:27,605
I am so proud of him. I saw the
potential there, from zero... minus zero.
248
00:17:27,629 --> 00:17:31,425
And I pulled him along,
this far, am I right?
249
00:17:31,449 --> 00:17:34,415
Bill, did I ever give up
faith in you one time? Never.
250
00:17:34,439 --> 00:17:38,525
He's a great, solid man.
251
00:17:38,549 --> 00:17:41,475
Real, solid sense of humor.
252
00:17:41,499 --> 00:17:44,585
Loves his own press,
of course. Who wouldn't?
253
00:17:44,609 --> 00:17:46,556
How did you do it? Really?
254
00:17:46,580 --> 00:17:49,606
Wh-Wh-What? You mean
this little caper? Oh, shucks.
255
00:17:49,630 --> 00:17:52,496
I started a file on
you six months ago.
256
00:17:52,520 --> 00:17:55,526
You don't play the house odds,
but you keep on breaking the bank.
257
00:17:55,550 --> 00:17:59,466
- Ah, what can I say?
- I don't like your hero,
Carlisle.
258
00:17:59,490 --> 00:18:02,586
He's making fools out of
all of us. And he likes it.
259
00:18:02,610 --> 00:18:05,496
On the other hand, I find I'm spending
more and more time on the computer.
260
00:18:05,520 --> 00:18:09,386
- Both of these twerps
came out of the computer.
- You know who I am, soldier?
261
00:18:09,410 --> 00:18:11,486
Sir, we're gonna miss the plane.
262
00:18:11,510 --> 00:18:16,516
No, we're not. I'm not going to
miss anything on account of this hero.
263
00:18:16,540 --> 00:18:20,446
So long, Carlisle. Keep
in touch about this matter.
264
00:18:20,470 --> 00:18:22,460
Yes, sir.
265
00:18:30,631 --> 00:18:33,611
Is it true? About the computer?
266
00:18:35,551 --> 00:18:38,557
You were lying to them?
267
00:18:38,581 --> 00:18:43,477
Then you do have
a secret! A real one!
268
00:18:45,531 --> 00:18:49,597
Boy, you really saved my
neck with this newspaper. Whoa!
269
00:18:49,621 --> 00:18:52,457
I don't know how to
thank you. You don't?
270
00:18:52,481 --> 00:18:54,517
I never would have guessed.
271
00:18:54,541 --> 00:18:57,537
Uh, no, I... Well,
I just mean...
272
00:18:57,561 --> 00:18:59,801
that I owe you one, that's
all... You're a real good guy.
273
00:19:00,401 --> 00:19:04,461
No, I'm not. I'm a girl.
274
00:19:14,492 --> 00:19:18,538
Well, Mr. Super Fed, you certainly mopped
up some world-class sewers last night.
275
00:19:18,562 --> 00:19:21,478
The number one secret
Russian spy working in America,
276
00:19:21,502 --> 00:19:23,608
thought to be dead for 20
years. Yeah, well, we got...
277
00:19:23,632 --> 00:19:27,588
He wasn't even there.
You got those guys.
278
00:19:27,612 --> 00:19:30,398
I love it when he
gets "on the case."
279
00:19:30,422 --> 00:19:33,398
Uh, because I'll get sandbagged by
the whole office tomorrow morning.
280
00:19:33,422 --> 00:19:35,598
Uh, and second place, they take
a lot of points off for trashing cars.
281
00:19:35,622 --> 00:19:39,448
Oh, my God! What? What?
282
00:19:39,472 --> 00:19:43,388
Somebody's gonna shoot
Bill outside the TV station.
283
00:19:43,412 --> 00:19:45,438
And who could begrudge
a couple of cars?
284
00:19:45,462 --> 00:19:49,479
Uh, five. Well,
even so, five cars.
285
00:19:49,503 --> 00:19:51,539
Uh, you're kidding? Five cars?
286
00:19:51,563 --> 00:19:56,429
Then it already happened. Ralph, this
is a rebroadcast from over an hour ago.
287
00:19:56,453 --> 00:19:58,613
Then they're
waiting at his house.
288
00:20:11,613 --> 00:20:13,599
Well, go ahead. I can take it.
289
00:20:13,623 --> 00:20:15,599
I don't know what
you want me to say.
290
00:20:15,623 --> 00:20:19,399
I was dumb and silly and I'll
never learn how to do that stuff.
291
00:20:19,423 --> 00:20:22,489
Do you want yes
or no? Or the truth?
292
00:20:22,513 --> 00:20:27,424
Oh, whatever you
think. Except the truth.
293
00:20:42,404 --> 00:20:44,390
What's the matter?
294
00:20:44,414 --> 00:20:47,634
It's... Oh! It's my
address. I live here.
295
00:20:48,404 --> 00:20:51,550
- Is there coffee?
- You won't like it. I use eggshells.
296
00:20:51,574 --> 00:20:54,580
Bill,
297
00:20:54,604 --> 00:20:58,510
I've tasted every bad
coffee in the world.
298
00:20:58,534 --> 00:21:02,624
And I'm tired. There
aren't any surprises.
299
00:21:13,445 --> 00:21:17,581
That curb used to be
red. Will I get a ticket?
300
00:21:17,605 --> 00:21:19,595
♪♪ Probably.
301
00:21:22,425 --> 00:21:24,611
Oh, well.
302
00:21:24,635 --> 00:21:29,521
♪♪ There's a game tonight
at the stadium. Do you hear it?
303
00:21:29,545 --> 00:21:32,401
I don't remember
who. Philadelphia.
304
00:21:32,425 --> 00:21:35,445
Thanks for taking me
home. Don't thank me yet.
305
00:21:45,565 --> 00:21:48,582
Well, we got two more guys.
306
00:21:48,606 --> 00:21:53,522
Don't worry. I'll figure out
something to do with them.
307
00:21:58,446 --> 00:22:01,636
I can't be expected to
solve his personal problems.
308
00:22:02,406 --> 00:22:05,432
Two magic suits and the
mother ship wouldn't do it.
309
00:22:05,456 --> 00:22:10,472
Yea, team! Down on the case!
310
00:22:10,496 --> 00:22:13,422
You two better come have
some of these good beans.
311
00:22:13,446 --> 00:22:16,432
Okay, now, celebration
time this afternoon.
312
00:22:16,456 --> 00:22:19,552
The good guys get to 86
the bad guys down with zip.
313
00:22:19,576 --> 00:22:23,392
Ralph, that's pitcher number one.
That's the lethal stuff. That's you and me.
314
00:22:23,416 --> 00:22:25,392
And, counselor, uh,
that's pitcher number two,
315
00:22:25,416 --> 00:22:28,637
a little more conservative stuff for the
ladies, but world-class margaritas both.
316
00:22:29,407 --> 00:22:31,533
O'Neil, punch two more
down in the salt there.
317
00:22:31,557 --> 00:22:34,403
Miss O'Neil, this is Pam
Davidson, my fiancée.
318
00:22:34,427 --> 00:22:36,403
Hi. Hello.
319
00:22:36,427 --> 00:22:38,593
Ralph, we boiled them this time!
320
00:22:38,617 --> 00:22:41,637
In their own oil, we fried
their garbonzos for 'em!
321
00:22:42,407 --> 00:22:45,453
Uh, Mr. Maxwell, uh,
this has been a big day,
322
00:22:45,477 --> 00:22:47,483
and you've had a
tremendous amount of success,
323
00:22:47,507 --> 00:22:49,493
but, uh, I'm just the new kid.
324
00:22:49,517 --> 00:22:54,543
And, uh, I'd really kind of like to
know how you did it, Mr. Maxwell.
325
00:22:54,567 --> 00:23:00,443
Right. And we got to
celebrate. Lot to celebrate.
326
00:23:00,467 --> 00:23:03,403
Now, listen up good,
'cause this is big.
327
00:23:03,427 --> 00:23:05,593
This is a nine on the Richter.
328
00:23:05,617 --> 00:23:10,444
Now, I haven't known this person
very long, a couple of weeks.
329
00:23:10,468 --> 00:23:14,498
But my granddad told me there was
only one way to judge a man or a woman.
330
00:23:15,578 --> 00:23:18,494
Would they go back-to-back
with you in the alley?
331
00:23:18,518 --> 00:23:22,454
Not could they but would they.
332
00:23:22,478 --> 00:23:24,444
Even if they don't know how.
333
00:23:24,468 --> 00:23:29,404
Course, he said you can't find
anybody like that today. They're all dead.
334
00:23:29,428 --> 00:23:32,418
But if you did find one,
don't never let him go.
335
00:23:33,528 --> 00:23:37,394
Course, he's talking
about old guys, old-timers.
336
00:23:37,418 --> 00:23:39,454
Geezers.
337
00:23:39,478 --> 00:23:42,414
Go ahead, kid. Tell 'em.
338
00:23:42,438 --> 00:23:46,488
I think it should
come from you. Ahem.
339
00:23:48,459 --> 00:23:53,415
Now, we have been down the
road a far piece the last few months.
340
00:23:53,439 --> 00:23:55,425
Thick and thin, muck and mire.
341
00:23:55,449 --> 00:23:59,465
After all the bad stuff, what's the
best thing that you can think of?
342
00:23:59,489 --> 00:24:02,555
Well, Bill, we always hoped...
343
00:24:02,579 --> 00:24:05,575
that you would
finally find, uh...
344
00:24:05,599 --> 00:24:09,485
Right, Ralph, right? Right.
345
00:24:09,509 --> 00:24:13,455
A-A-As a matter of fact,
we-we-we talk about it a lot.
346
00:24:13,479 --> 00:24:15,565
We were even talking
about it today. Today. Uh-huh.
347
00:24:15,589 --> 00:24:17,575
Well, this time
I'm not in charge.
348
00:24:17,599 --> 00:24:21,575
For once, it's not up to me. The
whole decision is up to the kid here.
349
00:24:21,599 --> 00:24:25,425
Of course, some things should...
Should move at their own pace.
350
00:24:25,449 --> 00:24:27,425
Oh, yeah, I got the
timing down real smooth.
351
00:24:27,449 --> 00:24:29,436
Well, then you've
asked her parents? Huh?
352
00:24:29,460 --> 00:24:31,466
Ralph! Have you
talked to your parents?
353
00:24:31,490 --> 00:24:34,446
My parents are dead, long ago.
354
00:24:34,470 --> 00:24:36,456
You have no family? Ralph!
355
00:24:36,480 --> 00:24:39,456
I'm sorry. How do you
feel about this, Miss O'Neil?
356
00:24:39,480 --> 00:24:41,516
Oh, I'm excited. Yes.
357
00:24:41,540 --> 00:24:45,576
And a little bit bewildered
and scared, of course.
358
00:24:45,600 --> 00:24:50,476
But Bill and I have
talked and I'm sure.
359
00:24:50,500 --> 00:24:53,566
I think.
360
00:24:53,590 --> 00:24:58,456
Well, the way it looks, uh, it won't
take long, tests, uh, couple of days tops.
361
00:24:58,480 --> 00:25:01,466
It's so exciting.
Excuse me. Yeah.
362
00:25:01,490 --> 00:25:04,576
Of course, she still has to learn to put 10
.38 rounds through a five-inch pattern...
363
00:25:04,600 --> 00:25:07,516
and ram a car through a brick
wall, but these things come in time.
364
00:25:07,540 --> 00:25:10,541
I can't believe it's
happening to me.
365
00:25:11,571 --> 00:25:13,601
Bill? Yeah?
366
00:25:15,631 --> 00:25:19,447
- Put a what through a what?
- Five-inch pattern
from 15 yards.
367
00:25:19,471 --> 00:25:21,607
You pull a gun, you got to be ready
to kill somebody. She don't know how.
368
00:25:21,631 --> 00:25:25,641
That's why I'm taking over. She can't
even drive a stick. Are you ready for that?
369
00:25:26,411 --> 00:25:29,491
But I got such confidence in this
person. She's gonna make a great agent!
370
00:25:30,511 --> 00:25:33,467
What are you two
looking so dumb about?
371
00:25:33,491 --> 00:25:35,467
Nothing.
372
00:25:35,491 --> 00:25:37,447
You thought I fell
for her, didn't you?
373
00:25:37,471 --> 00:25:40,457
It sounded like it.
374
00:25:40,481 --> 00:25:43,447
This is business. She'd
make a great agent.
375
00:25:43,471 --> 00:25:46,531
Let me out, please. W-Why?
376
00:25:48,531 --> 00:25:50,618
I am disgusted with
the both of you. Why?
377
00:25:50,642 --> 00:25:53,492
- About what?
- I don't know yet.
378
00:25:56,582 --> 00:25:59,558
- What's the matter?
- She's just telling you
to be careful.
379
00:25:59,582 --> 00:26:05,488
No, she's not. You are.
What's to be careful about?
380
00:26:05,512 --> 00:26:08,458
She's an efficiency expert
who wants to be a fed.
381
00:26:08,482 --> 00:26:10,492
Maybe.
382
00:26:13,482 --> 00:26:17,548
Hi. You okay? I don't know. I've
seen them together twice now.
383
00:26:17,572 --> 00:26:21,508
I don't understand their relationship.
No kidding. Welcome to the club.
384
00:26:21,532 --> 00:26:24,588
They're obviously very
close, and you feel left out.
385
00:26:24,612 --> 00:26:27,408
Oh, that. How do
you deal with it?
386
00:26:27,432 --> 00:26:30,429
I don't. I get mad as hell.
387
00:26:30,453 --> 00:26:32,479
Are they like this all the time?
388
00:26:32,503 --> 00:26:35,409
Like what? Crazy.
389
00:26:35,433 --> 00:26:37,599
Uh, no. But today's an off day.
390
00:26:37,623 --> 00:26:41,509
Count your blessings and give me a
call. Here's my number. You got a card?
391
00:26:41,533 --> 00:26:44,449
You asked me to cut school,
Bill. Are we working this afternoon?
392
00:26:44,473 --> 00:26:47,529
Nah. You know, digging
up the guns on the beach?
393
00:26:47,553 --> 00:26:50,619
No, no. We can handle it. We?
394
00:26:50,643 --> 00:26:54,493
Well, O'Neil needs some dumb
work. We don't want to waste your gifts.
395
00:26:56,513 --> 00:26:59,509
And Ralph is still teaching
school? Part-time, sort of.
396
00:26:59,533 --> 00:27:03,473
He does seem intellectually
superior. He used to be.
397
00:27:08,603 --> 00:27:13,400
The next thing you know, he's gonna
say, "I want to tell her everything."
398
00:27:13,424 --> 00:27:16,644
The spaceship, little green
guys, you, me, the suit.
399
00:27:17,414 --> 00:27:22,430
He's not silly. Well, he
is silly, but he's not crazy.
400
00:27:22,454 --> 00:27:26,400
Now, listen, Ralph. If this thing
works, I want to tell her everything.
401
00:27:26,424 --> 00:27:29,480
You know, the green guys,
the suit, the whole works.
402
00:27:29,504 --> 00:27:31,510
Uh, well, it's Four Musketeers.
403
00:27:31,534 --> 00:27:35,490
It's better than Three
Musketeers. Ain't she pretty?
404
00:27:37,524 --> 00:27:40,604
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
405
00:27:44,504 --> 00:27:46,530
Huh? Oh.
406
00:27:46,554 --> 00:27:48,584
Here.
407
00:27:52,615 --> 00:27:56,431
But I'm gonna find out a little
bit about this, uh, this woman.
408
00:27:56,455 --> 00:27:58,655
Bill always says don't lie,
don't steal and don't cheat.
409
00:27:59,415 --> 00:28:01,421
But then he manages
to snip the ends off that...
410
00:28:01,445 --> 00:28:03,491
anytime he feels that the
end justifies the means.
411
00:28:03,515 --> 00:28:05,501
Well, today it's my turn.
412
00:28:05,525 --> 00:28:08,581
Today, uh, I'm gonna find
out who this woman really is.
413
00:28:08,605 --> 00:28:11,551
All right, all right. Here's her
phone number and address.
414
00:28:11,575 --> 00:28:15,645
But don't lose it. I want to give
her a call. She seems like a nice girl.
415
00:28:25,645 --> 00:28:30,432
Wow. That's real heavy sand.
416
00:28:30,456 --> 00:28:32,432
Do you have
permission to do this, sir?
417
00:28:32,456 --> 00:28:33,602
Ask inside.
418
00:28:33,626 --> 00:28:36,622
Hmm. Are you putting him on?
419
00:28:36,646 --> 00:28:39,502
This was a snack bar. It
closed a couple of years ago.
420
00:28:39,526 --> 00:28:42,482
Are you putting
us on? Ask inside.
421
00:28:42,506 --> 00:28:45,542
- Wow.
- O'Neil, you see it?
422
00:28:45,566 --> 00:28:48,442
You wanted to try out for
the team, now's the time.
423
00:28:48,466 --> 00:28:50,462
One of these guys or both
of them is gonna jump me.
424
00:28:50,486 --> 00:28:53,552
Shoot him. Midsection... not too low. We
don't want to give their attorneys anything...
425
00:28:53,576 --> 00:28:55,552
about how nasty we are.
426
00:28:55,576 --> 00:28:58,472
Just shoot the first one that
moves. The gun's in your bag.
427
00:28:58,496 --> 00:29:01,546
Uh, you don't mind? Just take a sec.
She's new. Where are you boys from?
428
00:29:06,486 --> 00:29:09,446
Get him up. Get him up.
429
00:29:16,527 --> 00:29:18,527
Come on.
430
00:29:36,447 --> 00:29:38,647
A telephone? No
telephone. Hospital.
431
00:29:39,417 --> 00:29:42,563
Are you kidding? I'm a super fed on
the TV. Do you want to ruin my image?
432
00:29:42,587 --> 00:29:46,403
It's a hundred miles to the car.
Can you sort of lean on me more?
433
00:29:46,427 --> 00:29:49,523
Thought you'd never
ask. It's stupid, senseless...
434
00:29:49,547 --> 00:29:53,474
Well, maybe stupid, not senseless.
They knew we were coming.
435
00:29:53,498 --> 00:29:56,448
What? Somebody set us up.
436
00:29:59,648 --> 00:30:02,518
I don't like you.
Come in, please.
437
00:30:27,498 --> 00:30:31,515
- You can have my bed or the sofa.
- I'll take the sofa for now.
438
00:30:31,539 --> 00:30:33,529
In your condition,
you might as well.
439
00:30:44,579 --> 00:30:48,515
- I don't know
if I have anything.
- You got everything you need.
440
00:30:48,539 --> 00:30:50,515
Will you quit that?
441
00:30:50,539 --> 00:30:53,569
I feel bad enough.
This is all my fault.
442
00:32:24,531 --> 00:32:28,447
- What do you got, angel?
- Heating pad, ice pack.
443
00:32:28,471 --> 00:32:30,447
Nothing.
444
00:32:30,471 --> 00:32:33,578
Well, I got a couple of ribs out here. We
need some barbed wire and a staple gun.
445
00:32:33,602 --> 00:32:35,578
Mm.
446
00:32:35,602 --> 00:32:39,462
I'll settle for gaffer's
tape. Uh, drugstore.
447
00:32:44,612 --> 00:32:47,422
I'll be okay.
448
00:32:50,582 --> 00:32:53,452
This is a nightmare.
449
00:33:37,423 --> 00:33:39,469
- Just the two?
- That's it?
450
00:33:39,493 --> 00:33:42,449
Okay. If my guess is right,
451
00:33:42,473 --> 00:33:44,469
she's gonna be in the phone
booth on the corner by the drugstore.
452
00:33:44,493 --> 00:33:46,623
That's her, uh, nightgown
or bathrobe over there.
453
00:34:07,624 --> 00:34:12,580
It seems a shame. We
were so close after so long.
454
00:34:12,604 --> 00:34:17,500
What this man has done to us just in the
last 48 hours has driven the office crazy.
455
00:34:17,524 --> 00:34:19,590
He's taken out two
of our finest comrades.
456
00:34:19,614 --> 00:34:22,560
I will not argue with the
office. Neither will you.
457
00:34:22,584 --> 00:34:24,604
Terminate him.
458
00:34:26,554 --> 00:34:29,544
Thanks. Now clear out
of here. I got to do this.
459
00:34:30,644 --> 00:34:35,541
What, have you finally
gone crazy, Bill? Come on!
460
00:34:35,565 --> 00:34:37,611
This woman is
getting ready to kill you!
461
00:34:37,635 --> 00:34:39,625
Well...
462
00:34:41,475 --> 00:34:43,525
Well, what?
463
00:34:45,535 --> 00:34:48,625
I don't think she can do it.
464
00:34:50,495 --> 00:34:52,495
Where's your gun?
465
00:34:56,475 --> 00:34:59,561
You gave her your gun! Yeah.
466
00:34:59,585 --> 00:35:03,491
She was sent over
here a long time ago.
467
00:35:03,515 --> 00:35:07,471
Just to nail the lid down on my box.
She's K.G.B. She's working for them.
468
00:35:07,495 --> 00:35:09,601
How long have you known that?
469
00:35:09,625 --> 00:35:11,631
Well, at first I thought I
was being silly, but, uh,
470
00:35:11,655 --> 00:35:15,612
she set me up at the beach
today, uh, when she left the table.
471
00:35:15,636 --> 00:35:18,562
Couldn't have been any
other time or any other person.
472
00:35:18,586 --> 00:35:23,556
I got to take her down. I can do
it. I just don't know if I can do it.
473
00:35:25,646 --> 00:35:29,612
See, that's not the kicker.
The kicker is, I fell for it.
474
00:35:29,636 --> 00:35:33,636
I never wanted anybody
before. Not since my wife.
475
00:35:35,426 --> 00:35:37,422
I wanted this dame
and I can't have her.
476
00:35:37,446 --> 00:35:40,602
Bill, she's an enemy agent.
477
00:35:40,626 --> 00:35:44,622
She's an enemy to you. She
is an enemy to the country,
478
00:35:44,646 --> 00:35:47,552
which you have a sworn
obligation to protect.
479
00:35:47,576 --> 00:35:51,656
Yeah, well, but, uh, you
know, outside of that...
480
00:35:52,426 --> 00:35:55,633
For a schoolteacher, you're dumb. It's
your Gordian knot you were talking about.
481
00:35:55,657 --> 00:35:59,453
It's too complicated. I can't
untie it. I got to chop it to pieces.
482
00:36:16,577 --> 00:36:19,473
Hi, there.
483
00:36:19,497 --> 00:36:21,647
Bill, you've got
to see a doctor.
484
00:36:24,597 --> 00:36:27,623
Listen. Uh, give me your hand.
485
00:36:27,647 --> 00:36:30,537
We're both in a lot
of trouble here, kid.
486
00:36:36,498 --> 00:36:39,484
Okay, anyway, we can talk
straight, and we got to talk fast,
487
00:36:39,508 --> 00:36:43,414
because when you rip out a
bug in a maximum situation,
488
00:36:43,438 --> 00:36:45,634
it's kinda like knocking over the
red phone at, uh, SAC headquarters.
489
00:36:45,658 --> 00:36:49,484
A whole lot of people
start to scramble.
490
00:36:49,508 --> 00:36:53,434
Now, you can't take me
down... No way, impossible.
491
00:36:53,458 --> 00:36:58,444
All right, come on, come on. We're
all grown-ups here and professionals.
492
00:36:58,468 --> 00:37:02,494
I thought I was, uh, till
now. How'd you get it?
493
00:37:02,518 --> 00:37:07,604
Well, you took a terrific chance at the
restaurant when you went to the phone.
494
00:37:07,628 --> 00:37:10,504
You're good, but
you're not that good.
495
00:37:10,528 --> 00:37:13,594
Come on. Wake up now.
We're running out of time here.
496
00:37:13,618 --> 00:37:16,659
Then tell me what's the secret?
Nobody has a 98% kill record.
497
00:37:19,579 --> 00:37:24,479
I would have told you.
Yeah, you would have.
498
00:37:26,639 --> 00:37:29,565
I don't know who's
dumber here... you or me.
499
00:37:29,589 --> 00:37:33,565
I'm gonna miss you, O'Neil.
500
00:37:33,589 --> 00:37:35,565
You and your gardenias.
501
00:37:35,589 --> 00:37:37,565
Lilacs.
502
00:37:37,589 --> 00:37:40,559
Lilacs. Where the hell
you been all my life?
503
00:37:43,429 --> 00:37:45,439
Where were you?
504
00:37:47,579 --> 00:37:50,585
Well, we still got one
real p-problem here.
505
00:37:50,609 --> 00:37:54,425
Uh, your people are not
gonna believe you anymore.
506
00:37:54,449 --> 00:37:59,426
Things go wrong. They
understand that. No.
507
00:37:59,450 --> 00:38:04,426
They don't. No.
They do not, really.
508
00:38:04,450 --> 00:38:07,476
Anybody who lives by these
things is paranoid, hair-trigger.
509
00:38:07,500 --> 00:38:10,476
Tell me.
510
00:38:10,500 --> 00:38:12,596
They're gonna think you've
come over to our side.
511
00:38:12,620 --> 00:38:14,636
You're trying to
scare me. Yeah, I am.
512
00:38:14,660 --> 00:38:17,600
Honey, I don't think your life's
worth a plug nickel right now.
513
00:38:19,660 --> 00:38:24,466
Well, who cares?
514
00:38:24,490 --> 00:38:28,616
You cut that or I'll smack
you. You'd say anything.
515
00:38:28,640 --> 00:38:32,616
You don't give a damn
about me. You don't...
516
00:38:32,640 --> 00:38:35,521
Well, that's good news.
517
00:38:37,431 --> 00:38:40,491
Listen. Maybe we could...
518
00:38:42,651 --> 00:38:45,447
Maybe...
519
00:38:45,471 --> 00:38:47,507
You want to come
in from the cold?
520
00:38:47,531 --> 00:38:50,417
Please, mister.
521
00:38:50,441 --> 00:38:55,417
Yeah. You know
how to do it all right.
522
00:38:55,441 --> 00:38:57,651
I can't take you in,
babe. I can't trust you.
523
00:38:59,431 --> 00:39:01,417
I'm a good worker.
524
00:39:01,441 --> 00:39:06,517
And I love Acapulco. What
more does your old bureau want?
525
00:39:06,541 --> 00:39:08,517
I went to the phone
booth on the corner.
526
00:39:08,541 --> 00:39:11,531
I told them I had you down,
the way they wanted, helpless.
527
00:39:14,431 --> 00:39:17,468
But you wouldn't tell me
the secret of your success.
528
00:39:17,492 --> 00:39:21,588
They said force it. I said,
you can't force this man.
529
00:39:21,612 --> 00:39:25,628
You can kill him, but you
can't push him an inch.
530
00:39:25,652 --> 00:39:29,458
Does this hurt? Yeah.
531
00:39:29,482 --> 00:39:31,472
Hold still.
532
00:39:32,462 --> 00:39:35,472
Oh, let your breath out. Yeah.
533
00:39:36,612 --> 00:39:38,598
They said I had to kill you.
534
00:39:38,622 --> 00:39:42,488
Oh, it's gonna be easy. You're gonna
strangle me with this gaffer's tape.
535
00:39:42,512 --> 00:39:44,502
Come on. Give me a breath.
536
00:39:50,652 --> 00:39:55,488
Babe? Come on now.
We'll figure something out.
537
00:39:55,512 --> 00:39:57,489
Come on.
538
00:39:57,513 --> 00:40:01,543
You think I care about you?
What are you doing to me?
539
00:40:03,433 --> 00:40:05,543
I'd have gone to hell with you.
540
00:40:07,463 --> 00:40:09,579
The south of France or Peru.
541
00:40:09,603 --> 00:40:12,639
Angel, you're
bent. You're a liar.
542
00:40:12,663 --> 00:40:15,573
Only around the edges.
543
00:40:19,513 --> 00:40:21,643
So long, kid.
544
00:40:25,633 --> 00:40:29,459
Mr. Maxwell. She
was always a flake.
545
00:40:29,483 --> 00:40:32,579
I could never tell if she was going out to
pick up the microfilm or a pound of salami.
546
00:40:32,603 --> 00:40:34,619
But I've never seen
her like this before.
547
00:40:34,643 --> 00:40:39,450
Whatever it is you do to people to
accomplish your fabled 98% record...
548
00:40:39,474 --> 00:40:41,450
ought to have a law against it.
549
00:40:41,474 --> 00:40:43,460
I'm in no position
to bargain here,
550
00:40:43,484 --> 00:40:45,500
but I want favor. Possibly.
551
00:40:45,524 --> 00:40:48,580
I want to go second. Pardon?
552
00:40:48,604 --> 00:40:52,440
I want to see this
two-faced traitor burn.
553
00:40:52,464 --> 00:40:55,630
You mean, she's loyal to us?
554
00:40:55,654 --> 00:41:00,534
Come on. They shot Mata
Hari. That's the least you can do.
555
00:41:07,544 --> 00:41:11,480
Noble try,
Mr. Maxwell. No cigar.
556
00:41:11,504 --> 00:41:13,654
You'll have carry him.
557
00:42:20,456 --> 00:42:23,512
This is crazy. There's
no film in that camera.
558
00:42:23,536 --> 00:42:26,532
Fake. They told these
kids it was a movie.
559
00:42:26,556 --> 00:42:28,572
They were talking in the car.
560
00:42:28,596 --> 00:42:33,502
You and me are supposed to go out on the last
two surfboards in chains. Part of the movie.
561
00:42:33,526 --> 00:42:37,507
Could we float to Peru? Most of the
sharks are between here and Catalina.
562
00:42:41,627 --> 00:42:44,513
Busy, busy. Comic strip.
563
00:42:44,537 --> 00:42:46,523
It does look silly,
doesn't it? Yeah.
564
00:42:46,547 --> 00:42:51,483
It isn't. Six thousand guns in 22
minutes from a populated beach.
565
00:42:51,507 --> 00:42:53,667
What do you think? A
Cinema Seven release?
566
00:42:54,437 --> 00:42:56,513
Uh, who dreamed it up? I did.
567
00:42:56,537 --> 00:42:58,523
You're not as dumb as
you look. What are you?
568
00:42:58,547 --> 00:43:00,513
I'm modest. You tell him.
569
00:43:00,537 --> 00:43:03,453
He's you. The other side.
570
00:43:03,477 --> 00:43:06,533
Oh. Yeah? You got
a 98% record, huh?
571
00:43:06,557 --> 00:43:10,453
No. That's why I'm going to
have your secret, Mr. Maxwell.
572
00:43:10,477 --> 00:43:12,493
Originally, this
was just about you.
573
00:43:12,517 --> 00:43:16,453
Then we lost the guns to that man, the man we
killed in the shower. He double-crossed us.
574
00:43:16,477 --> 00:43:19,534
Filled the gun cases with
machine parts and plastic popcorn...
575
00:43:19,558 --> 00:43:21,504
and hid the real
guns right here.
576
00:43:21,528 --> 00:43:24,494
Then, all of a sudden,
you showed up.
577
00:43:24,518 --> 00:43:29,564
How did you know? I just
want to know how you knew,
578
00:43:29,588 --> 00:43:31,518
because it's impossible.
579
00:43:35,458 --> 00:43:38,668
See this? Oh. Yeah, thumbscrew.
580
00:43:39,438 --> 00:43:40,718
That's a cheapjack,
an imitation.
581
00:43:41,438 --> 00:43:43,078
Can't you do anything
original, you creep?
582
00:43:43,438 --> 00:43:45,578
It works. Not on you.
583
00:43:47,468 --> 00:43:50,474
On her. Oh, well.
584
00:43:50,498 --> 00:43:53,624
Okay, that's it, I
guess. Uh, Ralph?
585
00:43:53,648 --> 00:43:55,624
Ralph?
586
00:43:55,648 --> 00:43:57,648
Ralph?
587
00:43:59,569 --> 00:44:02,555
Do something, Ralph! I want
you to promise you'll listen.
588
00:44:02,579 --> 00:44:05,565
- Get us out of this mess.
- I called the cops.
589
00:44:05,589 --> 00:44:08,669
You're a ventriloquist.
I'm not impressed.
590
00:44:52,500 --> 00:44:55,460
Shark! Shark!
591
00:45:44,671 --> 00:45:48,547
Well, we got 'em.
592
00:45:48,571 --> 00:45:51,457
What's going on out there?
593
00:45:51,481 --> 00:45:53,527
How did we do that? O'Neil.
594
00:45:53,551 --> 00:45:55,527
Thanks, Sarge.
595
00:45:55,551 --> 00:45:57,521
What?
596
00:45:58,621 --> 00:46:02,548
Uh, you're on their side. I am?
597
00:46:02,572 --> 00:46:07,518
You're not on our side. You're on their side.
You have to be, otherwise I can't bust you.
598
00:46:07,542 --> 00:46:11,512
You can't? You mean
I did something right?
599
00:46:12,532 --> 00:46:16,488
Come here. We'll
work something out.
600
00:46:16,512 --> 00:46:20,568
It's embarrassing.
I'm still a bad guy.
601
00:46:20,592 --> 00:46:24,532
Nah. You're a girl. Irish girl.
602
00:46:45,593 --> 00:46:49,459
Where is she? It was a long
day in court. She's exhausted.
603
00:46:49,483 --> 00:46:51,459
That's not what I asked you.
604
00:46:51,483 --> 00:46:53,509
In the ladies' room having
a cry. What happened?
605
00:46:53,533 --> 00:46:55,529
She went the way
you told her. So?
606
00:46:55,553 --> 00:46:58,529
So, I got the bail you
wanted. Hallelujah!
607
00:46:58,553 --> 00:47:02,489
I told the judge it was your life
savings... 20 years, every dime.
608
00:47:02,513 --> 00:47:05,649
What'd he say? He said, "Every
dimwit gets what he deserves,"
609
00:47:05,673 --> 00:47:09,529
quote, unquote. Smart judge.
610
00:47:09,553 --> 00:47:14,599
Well, I can't testify
against her. I wasn't there.
611
00:47:14,623 --> 00:47:17,449
Her people won't either. Can't.
612
00:47:17,473 --> 00:47:20,620
They'd be further compromised.
Not her people. Not anymore.
613
00:47:20,644 --> 00:47:23,544
Bill, she's guilty.
Yeah, of bad judgment.
614
00:47:26,524 --> 00:47:29,560
I can't believe this is
Bill Maxwell I'm talking to.
615
00:47:29,584 --> 00:47:33,550
Making a nice gesture is
one thing, Bill, footing her bail.
616
00:47:33,574 --> 00:47:37,490
But you have to
testify against her. I do?
617
00:47:37,514 --> 00:47:41,510
You tell him. Bill, without your
testimony, there is no case against her.
618
00:47:41,534 --> 00:47:45,510
Oh, no kidding. Hey, O'Neil,
can you bait a fishhook?
619
00:47:45,534 --> 00:47:47,554
Live bait, spinner, what?
620
00:47:52,594 --> 00:47:56,600
See, uh, we got some punk kids here
think they know how to fish. Ralph's kids.
621
00:47:56,624 --> 00:48:01,565
Uh, it's your remedial therapy
for the afternoon. Call this day one.
49629
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