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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
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- Synced and corrected by Firefly -
- www.MY-SUBS.com -
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Hey, Julia.
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I just got a text from the camp.
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The bus is gonna drop Grace off at 5:00.
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I am at The Nest recording
one last goldfish video.
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I'm going to screen them
for her tonight.
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They are hilarious, by the way.
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So I will see you at 5:00.
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Hey, Jimmy, I'm back. Still alive?
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Still alive, Dad!
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Good job.
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Okay.
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All right, Gracie,
it's your dear old dad,
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00:00:29,334 --> 00:00:32,949
recording the final installment
of Diary of a Teenage Goldfish,
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or What Googles the Goldfish Did
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While Grace Kearney
Was at Sleepaway Camp.
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Now, as you've seen in my
prior compelling installments,
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Googles misses you terribly.
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But he has also taken
advantage of your absence
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by staying up way past his bedtime,
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gorging himself on junk food,
and refusing to do his chores.
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Hey, Googles, better clean up that bowl
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or you're gonna be in big trouble
when Gracie gets home.
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You and your pal, Mr. Old Timey
Diver Guy better snap to it.
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Make that bed. Do the dishes.
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Fire up that vacuum cleaner.
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No, no, no. Googles.
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Googles. Oh.
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Ow. Ooh.
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Googles, don't you dare die on me.
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Oh.
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Oh!
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Breathe. Breathe.
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Grace is so excited about seeing you.
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Ooh.
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Hi. My name is Jim.
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I'm a dad who recently killed
my daughter's pet goldfish.
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Hi. I'm Julia.
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I'm a mom who's sitting
next to this dear man
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who recently killed our
daughter's pet goldfish.
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- Not deliberately.
- Yet decisively.
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Indisputably conclusively.
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Jim and I were married
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17 years ago last June.
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Yet, the happiest day of our lives
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was when we got divorced last July.
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When I asked Jim
for a divorce, he said...
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Please, pretty please,
with sugar on top.
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We had a good run, but it was time to...
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Run away.
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- Some people wonder why.
- We don't.
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Let's just say that the
physical-intimacy component
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of the marriage had...
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Ground to a halt, which
can be an indication
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- that a relationship is...
- Over.
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But just because that part's over
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doesn't mean the affection and
appreciation for one another
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- had totally vanished.
- Far from it.
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We just began to realize
that our marriage was
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in the way of us getting along.
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- Divorce can be a good thing.
- A source of ceaseless joy.
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As long as you stay on the same page.
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Which is easy on paper.
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Less easy in real life.
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Jim, what's wrong?
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Dad, Gracie's goldfish
just died on my watch.
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Which watch? Don't say the Rolex.
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Sorry. You teed that one up.
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To carry on without a retort
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would have weakened
my wisecracking muscles.
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Yeah. I just got to figure
out how to tell Gracie.
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It's easy. Lie to her.
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Yes, that was my first thought.
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Let it be your last.
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Lying's the proper thing here, Jim.
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Hey, I'm not arguing.
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I'm just afraid Grace is
going to see right through it.
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No chance.
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Kids are smart.
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Everyone says that, but it's not true.
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Kids are stupid.
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Not in my experience.
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I lied to you when Rusty the cat died.
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Rusty the cat died saving
a family from a house fire.
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In my lie, yes. In truth, nah.
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Wait. You told me that Rusty
the cat meowed really loudly
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to rouse the family awake.
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Jim, 40 years later, I'm coming clean.
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Rusty the cat was run over
by a street sweeper.
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Dad, please tell me it was sudden.
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I can't.
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Street sweepers aren't known
for their horsepower.
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But once he was hit,
did Rusty die quickly?
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Sure.
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How did I not notice how bad
a liar you were back then?
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You were a stupid kid.
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Ah, poor Rusty.
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See how hurt you are right now?
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- Yeah.
- We need to protect Grace
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from the pain you're feeling.
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And, yes, it took a moment or two
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to extract Rusty from
the rolling bristle things.
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You're a monster.
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Sometimes being a monster
is what fatherhood requires.
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Now it's your turn, Frankenstein.
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Yeah, I see that.
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All right. Thanks, Dad.
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- I got to find Julia.
- Smart.
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Julia's a great liar.
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She spent 17 years
pretending she liked me.
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Where's Jimmy?
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He's in his room playing video games.
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Nice.
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I do my best grandparenting
when I'm ignored.
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Text me on the way back, so I can split
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before Julia has to struggle
through her obligatory,
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"Good to see you, Bobby".
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Before we go further,
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we want to make sure
you get how happy we are.
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For most people, divorce
has a negative connotation.
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00:05:00,906 --> 00:05:03,353
We wanted to reframe
divorce as an opportunity
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for growth, not despair.
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Jubilation, not devastation.
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00:05:06,152 --> 00:05:07,758
We considered ourselves trailblazers
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00:05:07,763 --> 00:05:10,536
for transforming a negative
thing into a positive thing.
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So, for our divorce, we decided
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to go back to the church
where we were married.
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To host what we called the very first
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reverse wedding ceremony.
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So we gathered friends and family.
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I slipped into my old wedding dress.
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I stepped into a cheap suit
and an even cheaper wig,
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to resemble how I looked that day.
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We stood at the altar.
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Took rings off of fingers.
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I'm gonna pawn these.
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Pawn this, too.
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We lowered veils.
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And ripped up our vows.
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If we were Jewish,
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we would have glued
a glass back together.
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And then I backed out of that marriage
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like it never happened.
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♪ Last dance, last dance, last dance ♪
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We showed everyone how
to end things on a high note.
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Everyone, that is,
but our daughter, Grace.
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♪ Last dance ♪
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So we bought her
a goldfish to cheer her up.
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And I killed it.
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Julia, hey.
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Jim.
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Are you here for Sunday brunch?
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No, I'm here to see you.
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What? How did you know I was here?
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What do you mean, how? Duh.
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Duh, what? What am I looking at?
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Oh, family sharing.
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That blinking green dot, that's you.
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You're tracking me?
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00:06:58,348 --> 00:07:00,087
No. No, I don't have to track you.
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00:07:00,091 --> 00:07:01,655
You're sharing your location with me.
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00:07:01,660 --> 00:07:02,715
I just have to look at my phone.
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00:07:02,719 --> 00:07:04,008
Again, the blinking green dot...
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I know what the blinking dot is, Jim.
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- Okay.
- But tracking me
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is not the intended use
of that application.
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It's entirely the intended
use of that application.
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You share your location with your family
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so your family knows your location.
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You and I are now ex-family.
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Tell that to your phone.
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You're the one who opted
into the sharing.
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When we were married.
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And just like we opted out of that,
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you got to opt out of this,
but that's not important.
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Yes, it is.
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As of this moment, I am opting
out of the family tracking.
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I am opting. I am scrolling.
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I am searching. I am...
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- God, where the hell is it?
- Go to Settings.
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- I'm under Settings.
- Okay.
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- Take a deep breath.
- Don't tell me how to breathe.
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There.
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I am no longer sharing my location.
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I am no longer a blinking dot.
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I am a no dot. I have disappeared.
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I can still see you.
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You can't just track me down
in person anymore, Jim.
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We got to reboot
our boundaries conversation.
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Okay. I am sorry that I used
the quite common, quite useful
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family-sharing feature that was invented
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so that when people are kidnapped,
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they can be rescued.
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00:08:02,834 --> 00:08:04,306
But I guess you would rather don
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00:08:04,311 --> 00:08:06,095
some magical cloak of invisibility
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00:08:06,100 --> 00:08:07,574
so that you can vanish without a trace
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whenever somebody
close to you needs you.
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Noted.
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Has someone I know been kidnapped?
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00:08:13,465 --> 00:08:14,662
- No.
- Does someone I know
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00:08:14,667 --> 00:08:15,706
- need rescuing?
- No.
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00:08:15,711 --> 00:08:18,206
Is someone I know unexpectedly dead?
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00:08:18,211 --> 00:08:19,942
- Go to your meeting.
- Oh, my God, Jim.
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00:08:19,947 --> 00:08:21,876
- Is someone dead?
- Someone, no.
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00:08:21,881 --> 00:08:24,295
Something, yes.
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00:08:24,300 --> 00:08:26,172
You mother effer.
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00:08:26,177 --> 00:08:27,724
You killed my orchid!
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00:08:27,729 --> 00:08:29,459
I told you... I asked you,
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00:08:29,464 --> 00:08:31,279
please don't kill
any more of my plants, Jim.
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00:08:31,283 --> 00:08:33,105
Your orchid is very much alive.
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00:08:33,109 --> 00:08:34,515
- Hey, hon.
- Oh.
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00:08:34,519 --> 00:08:36,783
- Hey, baby.
- How's it going?
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00:08:36,788 --> 00:08:39,327
- Hey, Jim.
- Trey.
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00:08:39,332 --> 00:08:42,397
Here for the "Miami Vice" convention?
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00:08:43,602 --> 00:08:46,493
So, plot twist...
I fell in love with someone
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00:08:46,498 --> 00:08:47,594
after the divorce.
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00:08:47,599 --> 00:08:49,987
Why don't you just say met?
You had to meet first.
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00:08:49,992 --> 00:08:51,841
And, oh, what a meeting it was.
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00:08:53,746 --> 00:08:54,801
How you doing?
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00:08:54,806 --> 00:08:56,596
I'm Trey Taylor, owner
of the Boston Celtics.
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00:08:56,601 --> 00:08:58,329
Mm, you don't need to say that.
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00:08:58,334 --> 00:08:59,406
What, my name?
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00:08:59,411 --> 00:09:01,484
Is your name "Owner
of the Boston Celtics"?
224
00:09:01,489 --> 00:09:03,711
Julia asked me to introduce myself.
225
00:09:03,716 --> 00:09:07,682
I didn't say Jim Kearney,
owner of a 2004 Honda Accord.
226
00:09:07,687 --> 00:09:10,535
Oh, hey, Trey, why don't you
say why you met Julia?
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00:09:10,540 --> 00:09:11,754
I don't think that's relevant.
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00:09:11,759 --> 00:09:12,896
It's all relevant.
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00:09:12,901 --> 00:09:14,949
Say how you insulted half your fan base,
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00:09:14,954 --> 00:09:17,390
so you needed Julia,
a professional crisis manager,
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00:09:17,395 --> 00:09:19,767
to swoop down and save your butt.
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00:09:19,772 --> 00:09:21,194
You swooped down, all right.
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00:09:21,199 --> 00:09:23,580
Boy, did you swoop down.
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00:09:23,585 --> 00:09:25,398
Ew. Ew.
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00:09:25,403 --> 00:09:27,567
- Ew. Ew.
- Okay.
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00:09:27,572 --> 00:09:30,261
Okay. All right. Fine.
237
00:09:30,266 --> 00:09:33,681
After a night out in Boston,
I was ambushed by paparazzi.
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00:09:33,686 --> 00:09:37,569
And I made a comment
that some people took...
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00:09:37,574 --> 00:09:40,080
Exactly how you intended.
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00:09:40,085 --> 00:09:42,098
The Celtics are playing like crap.
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00:09:42,103 --> 00:09:43,717
And if we don't fix it, we're gonna be
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00:09:43,722 --> 00:09:45,886
the redheaded stepchild of the NBA,
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00:09:45,891 --> 00:09:48,388
but redder and steppier
than the reddest,
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00:09:48,393 --> 00:09:50,464
headiest, steppiest child ever.
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00:09:50,469 --> 00:09:52,003
You know what I'm saying?
246
00:09:54,366 --> 00:09:56,196
It was an innocuous comment.
247
00:09:56,201 --> 00:09:59,107
Oh, no, it wasn't.
It was very offensive.
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00:09:59,112 --> 00:10:01,693
Very, very offensive. Peak offensive.
249
00:10:01,698 --> 00:10:04,404
Trey, uh, tell everyone
how you got schooled on exactly
250
00:10:04,409 --> 00:10:07,949
how offensive the term
"redheaded stepchild" is.
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00:10:08,454 --> 00:10:12,003
Celtic means Celt,
which means Irish, Ireland,
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00:10:12,008 --> 00:10:14,497
lot of redheads, lot of Catholics,
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00:10:14,502 --> 00:10:16,683
not a lot of birth control,
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00:10:16,688 --> 00:10:20,578
therefore, a fair amount
of stepchildren.
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00:10:20,583 --> 00:10:23,064
I not only offended half
of the Celtic fan base,
256
00:10:23,069 --> 00:10:25,559
but I offended an entire country.
257
00:10:25,564 --> 00:10:26,610
It blew up.
258
00:10:26,615 --> 00:10:28,629
There were threats
of protests, boycotts.
259
00:10:28,633 --> 00:10:30,129
People were pissed.
260
00:10:30,134 --> 00:10:32,390
What does this have to do with the fish?
261
00:10:32,395 --> 00:10:34,449
Anyway, Kevin Kelly,
the GM of the Celtics,
262
00:10:34,454 --> 00:10:36,260
got in touch with me
and introduced me to Trey
263
00:10:36,265 --> 00:10:38,846
- to help him manage the...
- Public-relations disaster
264
00:10:38,851 --> 00:10:40,811
that Trey's ignorance had ignited.
265
00:10:42,146 --> 00:10:44,110
Look, Trey, this is all gonna be fine.
266
00:10:44,115 --> 00:10:45,478
We just have to fix the perception
267
00:10:45,483 --> 00:10:46,604
before we fix the problem.
268
00:10:46,609 --> 00:10:48,247
So your first task is to walk out there,
269
00:10:48,252 --> 00:10:49,252
look 'em in the eye,
270
00:10:49,257 --> 00:10:50,971
and read the statement I wrote for you.
271
00:10:50,976 --> 00:10:53,110
All right, cool. Cool. What's the goal?
272
00:10:53,115 --> 00:10:54,897
To say something that
means nothing but still
273
00:10:54,902 --> 00:10:56,808
- makes this all go away.
- Love that.
274
00:10:56,813 --> 00:10:58,893
Read this, please.
275
00:10:58,898 --> 00:11:01,205
"I am committed to
a new path of understanding.
276
00:11:01,210 --> 00:11:04,149
And I ask you to help me
usher in a new era of shared
277
00:11:04,154 --> 00:11:07,026
creative pragmatism that
warrants deep introspection
278
00:11:07,031 --> 00:11:09,070
from us all".
279
00:11:09,075 --> 00:11:11,239
What does that mean exactly?
280
00:11:11,244 --> 00:11:14,117
It's subtly reminding people
that forgiveness is a virtue.
281
00:11:14,122 --> 00:11:16,385
And shame on them if they
haven't cultivated that virtue
282
00:11:16,389 --> 00:11:18,428
in their own lives and
find themselves unable
283
00:11:18,432 --> 00:11:20,780
to furnish mercy and compassion
for those of us
284
00:11:20,785 --> 00:11:22,690
who are courageous enough
to admit our faults.
285
00:11:22,695 --> 00:11:25,393
Shame on them. Shame. It's unforgivable.
286
00:11:25,398 --> 00:11:27,228
You're good. She's good.
287
00:11:27,233 --> 00:11:28,646
Perfect.
288
00:11:28,651 --> 00:11:30,349
Bunch of words adding up to nothing,
289
00:11:30,354 --> 00:11:33,227
but sure as hell sounding like
they add up to something.
290
00:11:33,531 --> 00:11:35,828
And despite all of that great advice,
291
00:11:35,833 --> 00:11:37,638
I still had to take responsibility
292
00:11:37,643 --> 00:11:39,190
for my ignorance.
293
00:11:39,195 --> 00:11:41,192
So I apologized sincerely.
294
00:11:41,197 --> 00:11:43,436
- And it worked.
- And I fell in love with her.
295
00:11:43,441 --> 00:11:47,057
And I fell in love with him...
his values, his mind, quickly.
296
00:11:47,062 --> 00:11:48,741
- Quickly.
- Quickly.
297
00:11:48,746 --> 00:11:50,042
- Very quickly.
- Yes.
298
00:11:50,047 --> 00:11:52,378
Very quickly.
299
00:11:54,302 --> 00:11:56,008
Who would have thought
that putting my foot
300
00:11:56,013 --> 00:11:58,093
in my mouth would lead
to the hottest woman I know
301
00:11:58,097 --> 00:12:00,386
putting her foot in my mouth?
302
00:12:00,391 --> 00:12:01,697
Okay. Yabba-dabba-doo.
303
00:12:01,702 --> 00:12:03,958
Nobody cares about this, especially me.
304
00:12:04,362 --> 00:12:06,392
- You killed Googles?
- No.
305
00:12:06,397 --> 00:12:09,937
But having not killed him
doesn't mean he's not dead.
306
00:12:09,942 --> 00:12:11,590
How the hell does a fish just die?
307
00:12:11,595 --> 00:12:13,384
Well, the toxicology
report comes back...
308
00:12:13,389 --> 00:12:15,912
How the hell should I know?
309
00:12:15,917 --> 00:12:18,040
These things only live,
like, six months, anyway.
310
00:12:18,045 --> 00:12:20,623
Actually, the life expectancy
could be up to 15 years
311
00:12:20,628 --> 00:12:22,750
if properly cared for.
312
00:12:22,755 --> 00:12:24,795
- How do you know that?
- Class I took at MIT.
313
00:12:24,800 --> 00:12:26,856
College is such a racket.
314
00:12:27,260 --> 00:12:29,182
Go buy a lookalike fish, now.
315
00:12:29,187 --> 00:12:30,187
And do what with it?
316
00:12:30,192 --> 00:12:32,269
Try to keep it alive till I get there.
317
00:12:34,985 --> 00:12:36,689
Hey, Grandpa.
318
00:12:36,694 --> 00:12:38,762
- Can I have a Popsicle?
- Sure.
319
00:12:42,875 --> 00:12:44,097
Is this Grace's goldfish?
320
00:12:44,102 --> 00:12:45,681
That is he, Jimmy.
321
00:12:45,686 --> 00:12:47,284
Why is he in the freezer?
322
00:12:47,289 --> 00:12:48,289
I don't know.
323
00:12:48,294 --> 00:12:50,050
Your father thought
it was more dignified
324
00:12:50,055 --> 00:12:51,886
than flushing him down the toilet.
325
00:12:52,276 --> 00:12:53,689
Does Grace know he's dead?
326
00:12:53,694 --> 00:12:54,907
She does not.
327
00:12:54,912 --> 00:12:56,176
Can I make you a fluffernutter?
328
00:12:56,181 --> 00:12:57,428
Can I still have the Popsicle?
329
00:12:57,433 --> 00:12:59,079
You can have both. I'm in charge.
330
00:12:59,084 --> 00:13:02,238
I say they go great together.
331
00:13:02,243 --> 00:13:04,050
So we focused on the crisis at hand
332
00:13:04,055 --> 00:13:06,569
and got a lookalike goldfish.
333
00:13:06,574 --> 00:13:08,938
What? Just say it.
334
00:13:08,943 --> 00:13:10,898
Babe, I didn't say anything.
335
00:13:10,903 --> 00:13:11,992
You dipped your head.
336
00:13:11,997 --> 00:13:15,079
I mean, your head dip said quite a bit.
337
00:13:16,484 --> 00:13:19,382
I did not share Jim and
Julia's bulletproof confidence
338
00:13:19,387 --> 00:13:21,717
in the lookalike-fish strategy.
339
00:13:24,642 --> 00:13:26,715
Perfect.
340
00:13:27,520 --> 00:13:29,443
Welcome to The Nest, Googles 2.0.
341
00:13:29,447 --> 00:13:31,269
Now, keep your fish gills glued.
342
00:13:31,274 --> 00:13:33,871
Boom. Crisis averted, crisis manager.
343
00:13:33,876 --> 00:13:36,416
Yeah.
344
00:13:36,421 --> 00:13:39,193
- Uh, Jim.
- Mm-hmm.
345
00:13:39,198 --> 00:13:41,029
I want you to know
that I was at the hotel
346
00:13:41,033 --> 00:13:42,321
to meet with a wedding planner.
347
00:13:42,326 --> 00:13:44,457
- Oh. Who's getting married?
- We are.
348
00:13:44,462 --> 00:13:46,067
Oh.
349
00:13:46,072 --> 00:13:48,719
Fantastic. Congratulations.
350
00:13:48,724 --> 00:13:50,263
You're happy for me?
351
00:13:50,268 --> 00:13:53,332
I'm happy for me.
352
00:13:53,337 --> 00:13:55,052
Finally, some other schmuck
is gonna know
353
00:13:55,057 --> 00:13:57,129
what it's like to be married to you.
354
00:13:57,133 --> 00:13:58,796
Who you calling schmuck?
355
00:13:58,801 --> 00:14:00,149
You.
356
00:14:00,154 --> 00:14:01,776
Ah, I'm just joking. I'm joking.
357
00:14:01,781 --> 00:14:03,677
- I'm happy for you both.
- Well, thank you, Jim.
358
00:14:03,681 --> 00:14:05,313
- That's magnanimous.
- Congrats, Trey.
359
00:14:05,318 --> 00:14:07,523
Oh, wow. I really appreciate that, Jim.
360
00:14:07,527 --> 00:14:08,958
Feel free to show your appreciation
361
00:14:08,963 --> 00:14:10,985
with floor tickets to a Celtics game.
362
00:14:11,689 --> 00:14:13,812
Looks like we both met
the man of our dreams.
363
00:14:14,868 --> 00:14:16,991
And together, we solved
the nightmare of the dead fish.
364
00:14:16,995 --> 00:14:19,852
And when Grace arrives, she'll
never know the difference.
365
00:14:19,857 --> 00:14:21,454
Eh...
366
00:14:22,258 --> 00:14:23,655
What?
367
00:14:23,660 --> 00:14:26,098
Forgive me. I'm not in favor of lying.
368
00:14:26,103 --> 00:14:28,726
- Why not?
- "Why not"?
369
00:14:28,731 --> 00:14:32,583
Lying is what parents need
to do sometimes to build trust.
370
00:14:34,545 --> 00:14:36,243
I think she can handle the truth.
371
00:14:36,248 --> 00:14:37,412
Well, she's not your kid.
372
00:14:37,417 --> 00:14:38,989
I'm about to be her stepfather.
373
00:14:38,994 --> 00:14:40,614
Good thing she's not a redhead.
374
00:14:42,720 --> 00:14:44,393
I addressed that issue publicly.
375
00:14:44,398 --> 00:14:46,487
And Jim is the only one
who still brings it up.
376
00:14:46,491 --> 00:14:48,154
Funnier every time.
377
00:14:48,159 --> 00:14:50,005
I respect the way you raised her.
378
00:14:50,010 --> 00:14:51,040
Clearly, it worked.
379
00:14:51,045 --> 00:14:53,310
But the Grace I know is really smart,
380
00:14:53,315 --> 00:14:54,878
and she pays attention to detail.
381
00:14:54,883 --> 00:14:57,308
Dude, that's why we're lying to her.
382
00:14:59,445 --> 00:15:01,545
Look, Trey, you're sweet, okay?
383
00:15:01,550 --> 00:15:03,466
And I agree with everything
that you said about Grace.
384
00:15:03,470 --> 00:15:05,201
My philosophy is, you should never lie
385
00:15:05,206 --> 00:15:06,596
unless you can get away with it.
386
00:15:06,601 --> 00:15:08,455
And I think we can here.
387
00:15:08,460 --> 00:15:10,433
That is the Julia I fell in love with...
388
00:15:10,438 --> 00:15:13,144
shifty, flawed, devious.
389
00:15:13,149 --> 00:15:15,313
We must all swear to bury this secret
390
00:15:15,318 --> 00:15:18,283
along with the original fish.
391
00:15:18,288 --> 00:15:19,562
I don't think we can get away with it,
392
00:15:19,566 --> 00:15:20,655
and I don't think we should try.
393
00:15:20,659 --> 00:15:22,874
- So what's your solution?
- Tell her the truth.
394
00:15:25,965 --> 00:15:28,097
- Oh, oh, oh, he's serious.
- Oh, okay. Yeah.
395
00:15:28,399 --> 00:15:29,887
She's 13 years old.
396
00:15:29,892 --> 00:15:31,939
Don't insult her intelligence
by lying to her.
397
00:15:31,944 --> 00:15:33,941
She'll get it. It's nobody's fault.
398
00:15:33,946 --> 00:15:35,678
Well, I think we all agree
it's Jim's fault.
399
00:15:35,683 --> 00:15:38,213
Hey, I fed this fish five meals a day,
400
00:15:38,218 --> 00:15:40,466
and then ten meals on Friday
to get through the weekend.
401
00:15:40,471 --> 00:15:42,202
- Oh, God, no.
- You are such a jackass!
402
00:15:42,207 --> 00:15:43,944
You killed that fish.
You killed that fish.
403
00:15:45,449 --> 00:15:46,881
Grace is in the elevator.
404
00:15:46,885 --> 00:15:49,385
- How do you know?
- Duh, I'm tracking her.
405
00:15:51,155 --> 00:15:53,419
Uh, y'all better hide that body.
406
00:15:53,424 --> 00:15:54,828
Hey, everybody.
407
00:15:54,833 --> 00:15:55,847
Hi, Gracie.
408
00:15:55,852 --> 00:15:57,216
- Mom.
- Welcome home.
409
00:15:57,220 --> 00:15:58,483
- Hi.
- Welcome home.
410
00:15:58,488 --> 00:15:59,868
- Oh, sweetie.
- Oh, there's my girl.
411
00:15:59,872 --> 00:16:00,885
Hey.
412
00:16:00,890 --> 00:16:03,963
Trey, this is a surprise.
What are you doing here?
413
00:16:03,968 --> 00:16:05,924
I came to welcome you home from camp.
414
00:16:05,928 --> 00:16:07,741
- How was it?
- It was fine.
415
00:16:07,746 --> 00:16:11,829
I missed my family and
my favorite fish, Googles.
416
00:16:11,834 --> 00:16:13,706
How you doing, bud?
417
00:16:13,711 --> 00:16:15,300
Hey, Grace. Welcome home.
418
00:16:15,305 --> 00:16:16,710
Hey, Jimmy.
419
00:16:16,715 --> 00:16:18,515
Oh, I see you got a new goldfish.
420
00:16:20,868 --> 00:16:22,157
What do you mean new?
421
00:16:22,162 --> 00:16:23,962
Isn't this dead one the old one?
422
00:16:28,392 --> 00:16:30,432
Trey killed Googles.
423
00:16:32,037 --> 00:16:34,577
And then he asked us to lie about it.
424
00:16:34,582 --> 00:16:37,638
- Why would you do that?
- Grace, Trey didn't do...
425
00:16:37,643 --> 00:16:39,206
Because I was ashamed.
426
00:16:39,211 --> 00:16:40,771
- Trey.
- Let him speak.
427
00:16:43,106 --> 00:16:44,837
Your mom was stuck in a meeting,
428
00:16:44,842 --> 00:16:46,798
and your dad and brother weren't here.
429
00:16:46,802 --> 00:16:49,325
And I was tasked to watch the goldfish,
430
00:16:49,330 --> 00:16:50,752
and I failed miserably.
431
00:16:50,757 --> 00:16:53,621
I am so sorry.
432
00:16:53,626 --> 00:16:56,452
Trey, who killed Googles? Mom or Dad?
433
00:16:58,665 --> 00:16:59,906
Dad.
434
00:17:04,427 --> 00:17:07,576
I'm sorry, Grace. I know I was
supposed to care of your fish,
435
00:17:07,581 --> 00:17:08,786
and I blew it.
436
00:17:08,791 --> 00:17:10,338
You blew up our family.
437
00:17:10,343 --> 00:17:11,956
Wait, what?
438
00:17:11,961 --> 00:17:14,442
Both of you. I don't
care about the fish.
439
00:17:14,447 --> 00:17:17,637
I mean, of course I loved
Googles, but it was a fish.
440
00:17:17,642 --> 00:17:19,914
You thought I couldn't handle
the death of a little fish
441
00:17:19,918 --> 00:17:21,750
when I handled the death
of the only family
442
00:17:21,754 --> 00:17:23,034
that I've ever known?
443
00:17:23,039 --> 00:17:24,853
Don't you realize how grown I am?
444
00:17:24,857 --> 00:17:27,155
I'm 13 1/2.
445
00:17:27,860 --> 00:17:29,382
Yes.
446
00:17:29,387 --> 00:17:32,409
Mustn't forget about the half.
447
00:17:32,414 --> 00:17:34,828
What I loved was our family intact...
448
00:17:34,833 --> 00:17:36,456
the fabulous foursome.
449
00:17:36,461 --> 00:17:39,933
But now I'm just a lost soul
from a broken family.
450
00:17:39,938 --> 00:17:41,611
No, you're not.
451
00:17:41,616 --> 00:17:43,821
I am. Before you know it,
452
00:17:43,826 --> 00:17:46,240
I'm gonna have a tongue ring,
start vaping.
453
00:17:46,245 --> 00:17:48,067
I'm gonna need to talk to a counselor.
454
00:17:48,072 --> 00:17:51,499
Unlock the liquor cabinet
and cut up the cocaine.
455
00:17:53,686 --> 00:17:56,350
Grace, I can see that you're upset.
456
00:17:56,355 --> 00:17:57,585
Oh, my God.
457
00:17:57,590 --> 00:18:00,513
Mom, you're using mirroring language.
458
00:18:00,518 --> 00:18:03,123
I can see that you're not upset.
459
00:18:03,128 --> 00:18:04,892
Me, I'm jubilant.
460
00:18:04,897 --> 00:18:06,460
Divorce is fun.
461
00:18:06,465 --> 00:18:08,120
I'm a pioneer at reframing
462
00:18:08,125 --> 00:18:10,265
how my parents have destroyed my family.
463
00:18:10,570 --> 00:18:12,600
Bust out the champagne.
464
00:18:12,605 --> 00:18:14,677
Come on, Grace, that's not fair.
465
00:18:14,682 --> 00:18:15,704
Fair?
466
00:18:15,709 --> 00:18:19,072
You always tell us that family
is the most important thing.
467
00:18:19,077 --> 00:18:20,766
We became a family
468
00:18:20,771 --> 00:18:23,411
because you two
decided to make a family.
469
00:18:23,416 --> 00:18:26,021
And then you unmade it
without asking us.
470
00:18:26,026 --> 00:18:27,227
That's not fair.
471
00:18:30,531 --> 00:18:32,995
Jimmy, are you doing okay?
472
00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:35,623
Yeah. I just scored my high score.
473
00:18:35,628 --> 00:18:37,437
Is Grace addicted to blow?
474
00:18:39,456 --> 00:18:40,456
Not yet.
475
00:18:42,826 --> 00:18:43,906
I'm sorry, Grace.
476
00:18:43,911 --> 00:18:45,400
I shouldn't have lied about Googles.
477
00:18:45,405 --> 00:18:47,570
I'm sorry, Grace.
I shouldn't have let Trey lie.
478
00:18:47,575 --> 00:18:49,590
I'm sorry Trey lied to you, Grace...
479
00:18:51,093 --> 00:18:53,641
and that your mom didn't stop him.
480
00:18:53,646 --> 00:18:55,285
I'm joking. I'm joking.
481
00:18:55,290 --> 00:18:56,494
I'm going to my room.
482
00:18:56,499 --> 00:18:58,380
Grace. Grace, you're right.
483
00:18:58,385 --> 00:19:00,291
We've done you a terrible disservice,
484
00:19:00,296 --> 00:19:02,677
unfairly, as you said,
485
00:19:02,682 --> 00:19:05,118
by being so determined to make
this divorce non-disruptive
486
00:19:05,123 --> 00:19:06,629
that we bypassed your feelings.
487
00:19:06,634 --> 00:19:08,297
Mom, I'm your daughter,
488
00:19:08,302 --> 00:19:10,349
not a crisis that you need to manage.
489
00:19:10,354 --> 00:19:12,410
Before I could even be sad
about your divorce,
490
00:19:12,415 --> 00:19:14,004
you were so caught up in telling me
491
00:19:14,008 --> 00:19:16,168
and the rest of the world
how great it was.
492
00:19:18,746 --> 00:19:20,594
We didn't mean to rush you through this.
493
00:19:20,598 --> 00:19:22,920
Or skip past it. But we did.
494
00:19:22,925 --> 00:19:24,873
And we're ready to talk
about it in depth
495
00:19:24,877 --> 00:19:27,091
as much as you want.
496
00:19:27,096 --> 00:19:31,011
Or if this little chat was sufficient...
497
00:19:31,016 --> 00:19:33,564
uh, we can move on with our lives
498
00:19:33,569 --> 00:19:35,858
and celebrate that your mother and Trey
499
00:19:35,863 --> 00:19:37,602
- are engaged to be married.
- What?
500
00:19:40,568 --> 00:19:43,140
And that's how we got Googles 3.0.
501
00:19:43,145 --> 00:19:44,876
So we're here, warts and all,
502
00:19:44,881 --> 00:19:46,928
making mistakes in our lives
for your benefit.
503
00:19:46,933 --> 00:19:50,114
So you can see what to do and
maybe not to do in a divorce.
504
00:19:50,119 --> 00:19:52,209
And in a marriage. That's
where you come in, Trey.
505
00:19:52,214 --> 00:19:54,786
I have no clue what I'm getting into.
506
00:19:54,791 --> 00:19:57,339
A great family, that's what
you're getting into.
507
00:19:57,344 --> 00:19:59,508
Fluffernutters for everybody.
508
00:19:59,513 --> 00:20:01,585
Good to see you, Bobby.
509
00:20:01,590 --> 00:20:03,838
Good to see you, Julia.
510
00:20:07,094 --> 00:20:10,709
♪ I'm getting swag in the suite ♪
511
00:20:10,714 --> 00:20:14,129
♪ I'm getting swag in the luxury suite ♪
512
00:20:14,134 --> 00:20:17,641
♪ I'm getting swag in the suite ♪
513
00:20:17,646 --> 00:20:21,090
♪ I'm getting swag in the luxury suite ♪
514
00:20:26,605 --> 00:20:28,685
What are you doing with that lamp?
515
00:20:28,690 --> 00:20:29,979
I'm taking it to my apartment.
516
00:20:29,983 --> 00:20:31,614
Why?
517
00:20:31,619 --> 00:20:34,442
I need a lamp.
518
00:20:34,447 --> 00:20:37,478
Did you ask Trey if you could
take a lamp out of his suite?
519
00:20:37,483 --> 00:20:39,830
He said, help yourself
to anything you want.
520
00:20:39,835 --> 00:20:42,458
So I'm helping myself
to something I want.
521
00:20:42,463 --> 00:20:46,712
He meant food and drinks,
not appliances and hardware.
522
00:20:46,717 --> 00:20:48,631
Hoo-hoo!
523
00:20:48,636 --> 00:20:51,025
How about them Boston Celtics?
524
00:20:51,030 --> 00:20:53,244
You guys are good luck.
We're playing well.
525
00:20:53,249 --> 00:20:54,695
Mwah.
526
00:20:54,700 --> 00:20:56,531
Thanks for all the cotton candy, Trey.
527
00:20:56,536 --> 00:20:58,533
How many of those have you had?
528
00:20:58,538 --> 00:21:00,034
I don't know.
529
00:21:00,039 --> 00:21:02,094
Maybe six.
530
00:21:02,099 --> 00:21:04,179
- Jimmy, quit that.
- Yeah, Jimmy.
531
00:21:04,184 --> 00:21:06,074
Quit it like our parents
quit their marriage.
532
00:21:06,078 --> 00:21:07,350
Whoa!
533
00:21:07,355 --> 00:21:09,878
Grace, chip off the old block.
534
00:21:10,883 --> 00:21:12,580
Jim, put the lamp back.
535
00:21:12,585 --> 00:21:16,250
Trey, did you or did you
not say help yourself?
536
00:21:16,255 --> 00:21:18,235
Enjoy the lamp, Jim.
537
00:21:18,240 --> 00:21:20,454
Thank you.
538
00:21:20,459 --> 00:21:22,234
I'm gonna put this in the car.
539
00:21:29,200 --> 00:21:36,700
- Synced and corrected by Firefly -
- www.MY-SUBS.com -
39294
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