All language subtitles for w p s04e06 1080p bluray x264-carved (1)

So we are currently attempting
to apprehend a young offender

who's been skateboarding noisily
in the Upper Hutt vicinity.

Noisy skateboarding is
actually a much bigger problem

than many people realise.

We also have numerous
undercover officers,

so as not to alert this
skateboarding menace to our presence,

and this is a personal thing for me,
as I grew up on these very streets.

Stopping a mugging right here,

is what inspired me to
become a police officer.

You inspired me to become a
better police officer, Sarge.

- Well, I'm happy for you.
- Thanks.

Parker and I will monitor
Operation 'Skate Bait'

from our secret mobile
HQ... right over there.

Sarge, there's a big robbery
happening in the city.

- What?
- Yeah, yep, yes.

No, we've turned off our radios
because we're undercover.

Yeah. We can probably get
there... They've already gone...

Well... Don't worry.
Okay, goodbye.

They couldn't
apprehend the robbers,

because all the officers are
here doing Operation Skate Bait.

It's things like this that really
make me deeply question my choices

about whether I should actually be
police officer at all, you know?

Sarge, the cameras are
still rolling on you.

We actually have two of our best
in a patrol car, fully focussed,

watching the streets like a
pair of police attack hawks.

See. I've almost
got the hang of it.

Almost got the hang of it.

Haven't you had that fidget
spinner for, like, five years?

Three years.

Minogue!

- You made me spill my doughnut.
- I immediately regret doing that.

Look at... look
at all that mess.

What the hell is that thing?
There's the skateboarder!

- What the hell is that?
- Get away from me!

I think it's like
a... a worm man.

Sort of like a half-man, half-worm
mutant leachy man type thing.

In pursuit?

Yeah. I'll look after the
car and clean up this...

- I've got to clean up this doughnut.
- Come on. Let's go.

- We'll get ants again.
- Let's go. Let's go!

So we're just in pursuit of
the noisy young skateboarder,

and some sort of a worm man.

- I came up with that name.
- Police.

- What is that thing?
- I think it's a skateboarder.

- What's it doing?
- Get off him!

Don't see that every day.

Or that.

Sir?

That was out of it.

You've suddenly turned
into an old fellow.

Old? I'm only fifteen.

Classic case of mutton
dressed as lamb.

- He seems okay. Let's get that thing.
- Copy that. In pursuit of thing.

What is it?

Looks like some sort
of... break in reality?

Remember like that portal
we saw at that barbeque?

- Yeah.
- You should go in then.

I'm not going in there, that worm
monster thingy will be in there.

Is it in there?

- What? Can you see it?
- No. It's gone. Come on.

Come on.

What?

Look at all these old
movies it's got playing.

This is exactly the sort of thing
that Sarge would be interested in.

- You know that?
- Yeah.

That old skater has gone.

Hey, Sarge. We were in
pursuit of the offender,

but we found something that's
gonna make you go say, "holy".

And by that we
mean, it's a hole.

Tell him we went through the
hole, and it didn't do anything.

Sarge? It's not
working. Hang on.

I've got no reception either.

- Upper Hutt.
- I don't think it's about Upper Hutt.

- Acid wash.
- What?

Back in fashion. Yes!

I used to love acid wash. I had acid
wash overalls when I was younger,

but they stopped at
shorts, you know?

And you just have the shorts
and nothing on underneath,

so you just see your bare chest.

I'm just not sure now is the
right time to talk about fashion.

I think we need to
go and talk to Sarge.

Where's the car?

It was parked right here...
unless it's gone invisible.

What? Well, did you lock
it when you got out?

- You're in trouble, O'Leary.
- What do you mean?

You were driving. You've got to
take responsibility for the vehicle.

- You were the last one out of the car.
- Did you lock it when I got out?

Well, if it'd locked it, you would
have been locked inside the car.

- You got out last.
- Well, that's easy for you to say.

- Well, it's because it's true.
- Yeah.

That's why it's
easy for you to say.

But this is why we lose
our cars all the time.

I know. Because you
don't lock the car.

- Mobile HQ is gone as well.
- Did you lock that? Probably not.

I don't have the keys
for that. Sarge, come in.

There's something
really weird going on.

But I can't quite
put my finger on it.

What is it?

- What are you doing, Minogue?
- Just looking for the car.

- Okay. The car is not there.
- It might have shrunk.

- Did you think about that?
- How?

Well, it was raining.
It was raining before.

Can you see a tiny police car?

Well, I'm looking for it. At least
I'm looking. You're not even helping.

You're just using the
opportunity to mock me.

'M not mocking you. I
just... I can... I can...

So it appears we've actually lost our
patrol car and also the Mobile HQ.

And all the other police
officers in our squad

and all the comms are down.

But sometimes, I mean,
that happens in policing.

You get completely cut off
from your chain of command,

and you just have to
think on your feet.

Because we haven't
got our car anymore.

No, no. I mean, you've
got to use your wits.

Yeah, our wits.

Those will be kicking in soon.

Maybe we should ask that kid
if he's seen any other cops.

Excuse me, mate.

You busted my Gameboy, you egg!

- What?
- Sarge?

No... I'm Ruawai.

Are you undercover, Sarge?

If you are, we probably
shouldn't be talking to you,

because we might give you away.

They have done an amazing
job. You look... really young.

And from this angle, you
even look a bit shorter.

Thank you, I think.

Honestly, how have
they done that?

Hey, Ruawai... How old are you?

Pushing nine.

Pushing nine.
Sarge, you're good.

- Can I ask you, what year is this?
- It's 1994.

So we seem to have encountered
some sort of a creature

which sucks time from young people in
order to open up portals to the past.

Unfortunately, we
went through one,

and now seem to be in 1994 Te
Awa Kairangi ki Uta, Upper Hutt.

Although you can't really
tell the difference.

Well, that's a bit unfair to the
people that live in Upper Hutt,

Minogue, most of whom believe
it's a vibrant, modern community.

Yeah. With heaps of mullets.

Anyway, I think
what is important

is that we report this time anomaly
to Sarge as soon as possible.

Yeah... Hey, Sarge!

So, not the almost nine-year-old
Sarge. The one in 2022.

Yeah. Well, he'll... he might
remember it, if we tell him now.

- How?
- With his memory.

But he's had that memory
yet, he's almost nine.

But we don't know. We won't
know until we go back,

which we should probably do.

We should probably go back
to our time and just check.

Did you guys really
pass Police College?

Yes. Yes, we did.

Did you cheat on the exam?

You don't have to
cheat, it's really easy.

We're really sorry about breaking
your old Gameboy. You can have this.

See that?

Just be careful
with it, all right?

It's a choking hazard.
Nearly got me a couple times.

- Don't put it in your mouth, okay?
- It's pretty cool.

Kind of reminds me Sarge, right?

And every time he talks, I'm
sort of like intimidated by him,

even though he's only
nine. Are you feeling that?

Yeah. But he is only
nine, pushing nine. So...

Yeah, I know. But he's
still intimidating.

One, two, three... three.

I've got coverage.
And it's 2022.

Let's go find the car, and
we can cordon this thing off.

- What? The time hole?
- Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, I know.

Yes. The car is still
there Come in, Sarge.

We've got a story
to tell you. Over.

- This is Comms. Go ahead, O'Leary.
- Where's Sarge?

Well, he's not on this
channel. Where are you guys?

Upper Hutt.
Operation Skate Bait?

New one on me. Sarge wants all
patrols in for another briefing.

Better not be late, you
know what he's like.

- Copy that. On our way.
- Better go.

- Who was that?
- Probably a work experience person.

Look, we all have tough days.

But what I'm saying is, you have to
do your best to be nice to people.

- I'm not sure about the new lighting.
- What is going on?

Zom! We've got a zom! Deploying
taser! Deploying taser!

Go! Go!

Taser down! Taser down!

Are you guys seeing the
zombie? Let's just...

- Are you on a break or something?
- Let's just go and find Sarge.

"Undead Person
Transitional Space"? What?

- Calling all on-duty police officers.
- Who's that?

Report to the briefing
room immediately.

There seems there's some very
strange things going on here.

I think we need to get to the
briefing fast, and talk to Sarge.

If it isn't Officer Mabogey
and Officer O'Weewee.

Donovan and Laupepe? When
did you guys get better?

- We've always been better, O'Leary.
- Way better!

When did you guys get worse?

At birth?

- That was a good one.
- Sure. That's good. That's good.

This is weird. They were turned
into zombies three years ago.

Yeah. Maybe there's a cure now,

but I preferred them
when they were zombies.

Evening Maggots! Sit
down! And sit up straight!

Especially you two knobsicles.

When did Parker get promoted?

- And a new hairstyle.
- What's with the cameras?

They're still making that
documentary about us.

Let me guess. Is it called,
"Wellington's Wussiest Cops"?

Enough with the hilarity,
we've got some work to do.

Okay. It is Day 927 of the
Wellington Zombie Outbreak.

I mean, yesterday we only
arrested ninety-three undead.

So that's a good
number. So we can...

Who didn't close the gate?

One of you lot is gonna have to sort
that out after the briefing, okay?

Some good news. The alien
attack of plant people

we don't need to
worry about anymore,

because two ginormous taniwha came
out of the water and ate them.

So that's a good thing.

I mean, they did
completely destroy Te Papa.

But it's a museum, so I don't think
we have to worry too much about...

There's the taniwha.

It's eating the zombies.

Well, that's one
less job for you lot.

Come on. Baldwin.
Come on, Baldy.

Baldwin. Hey, hey, hey.

I told you to write down zombie bites
on your sheets at the end of the shift.

That's a reminder to
all you lot, okay?

I really liked him too. Just put
him in the cells with the others.

Okay. Rest of you, dismissed.

Gad, that's no good.
Baldwin is such a good man.

Hey, Parker... Where's
Sergeant Maaka?

It's Sergeant Parker.

And if your question is,
"Where is Sergeant Parker?"

He's right here,
you stupid people.

Get to work, please.

There's an apocalypse on. Or have
you been asleep the last three years?

Oh God. There's frigging
zombies everywhere. It's just...

I think we've changed time. This
is the universe without Sarge.

- It's the butterfly effect.
- I wish it was butterflies.

No. The butterfly effect.

It's the idea that if you change
something small in the past,

it has major implications
on the future.

Look, there's no record of a
Ruawai Maaka in New Zealand Police.

- Are you saying he doesn't exist?
- I don't know. Possibly.

I'll have a Google.

You should be filming
me, not these maggots.

The real policeman doing
the real police work.

Police officers.

Nothing.

Anyway, I'm off to the salon. Hair
this perfect doesn't style itself.

Taking the cop car. Gonna
siren it. Get there in five.

I don't think you're
allowed to do that.

Such a stickler for the
rules, aren't you, O'Leary?

You guys should just chillax. I
take a chill attitude to work,

and look how everything
is working out fine.

Whose turn is it to clean
the blood off the windows?

No, no. We just don't worry
about that kind of stuff here.

- Because you're so chillaxed?
- Yeah. You got it.

Anyway, I better hit the salon

otherwise they'll
bump me down the list.

- Have a nice hair... do.
- Thank you.

We need to stop that
from ever happening,

and all the zombie stuff.

I think I've just found
Sarge's address on my phone.

It'll be interesting to see
what Sarge's house is like.

- Okay. Get back.
- Coming to assist, Parker!

Halt! I don't need your help. Can't
you see I've got this under control?

Donovan and Laupepe!

If you could distract them,
I'll get to the salon.

So we offered to help Parker, but
he's called Donovan and Laupepe,

so I think we need to
go to Sarge's house.

Do you guys have hand
sanitiser? They scratched me.

It's just a scratch. It's nothing
to worry about. It's just a scratch.

- Just park here?
- Yeah. That'll do.

Are you sure this is the place?

7 Whairawa Grove, Khandallah.

Nicer than his dingy
little flat. But...

One thing that we've learned
about zombies is that...

Minogue! Minogue!

- Taser, O'Leary! Get your taser!
- You've got the taser!

- No! Here! Here! Here! Here!
- No! Here!

It's got my fingerprint on it.

Officers! Quickly! Come inside!

I didn't charge it.

- Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! All right.
- Hey, zombies!

Go! Go! Get it! Get it!

Hurry up, cameraman.
Get in here too.

Far out, man. Those zombies
will be on you in sec, bro. Yep.

A lot of them out there tonight.
Must be winter solstice or something.

Okay. Come on in.

Welcome to Casa del Maaka.

Right. How can I help you two?
And, what's with the camera crew?

It's really nice
to see you, Sarge.

Sarge? I...

It's you guys...

I knew this day would come.

I've been waiting for the two
of you for quite some time.

Perhaps you should sit
down, Sarge... Ruawai.

Yep, ah... here, come this way.

So I actually gave it a few
names the Hurirauna was one.

Which is just Maori for
goes around and around.

But the name that I settled
on was the Maaka Sparker.

That's the most
popular version and

which is the one
that I copied off

the one that you guys
gave me as a child.

Look, I trademarked it
and, as you can see I made

a quite a considerable amount
of money from it. And I...

- And you spent it on this house.
- Yeah.

And I knew it was wrong,

and I know that you're
here to arrest me.

So... go ahead, take me to jail.

That's not what we're here for.
Okay? It's a separate issue.

Although I am
disappointed in you.

Okay. So...

We're here to talk to you
and ask you a question.

- Are you interested in the paranormal?
- What, like poltergeists?

- Yeah. Like poltergeists.
- So, like, aliens?

- Yep. Like aliens.
- Like patupaiarehe?

Yep. Patupaiarehe.

Minogue, you...
what's another one?

- Giraffes.
- Okay.

I'd like to show you guys
something. Come with me.

Giraffes?

How do their necks do that?

Come on in, guys.

As you can see, I actually
have a penchant for the occult

and other such cryptid,
mysterious mysteries,

especially in troubled
times like this.

Yeah. This might
be hard to believe,

but Minogue and I encountered
some sort of a creature

which sucked time
out of a young kid

to create a portal
back to the year 1994.

We went through that and that's
when we met you that night.

A worm hole. Interesting.

In our reality,
you're our Sergeant.

- Really?
- The sarge in charge.

Sarge in charge?
Sounds like a TV show.

We think that when we met you,

we changed something and
now you no longer exist.

I no longer exist?

Well, no. You do exist,
but in a different,

like in a parallel
universe or something.

But basically
what's happened now

is that Wellington is
completely overwhelmed

by very undesirable
paranormal activity.

- Yeah. Like those zombies...
- For instance.

- They don't exist in our world.
- They don't?

Well, they do. But
they're under control.

Minimal. Minimal. And
that's because of you.

You always know what to
do. You tell us what to do.

It's always, generally speaking,
in a... quite a nice way.

Can you show me
how to work that?

It's pretty simple, really.
This is a centrifuge here

and you can either activate
it with your active hand here,

or your inactive hand. And
then, it becomes active,

and it's really... you can
go anticlockwise, clockwise.

Is there a simpler
way to explain it?

Just hit it.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Yeah, yeah. Go.

Have a go.

So, it sounds like to me

that you have disturbed
the time space continuum.

Creating a separate reality where
I never became a police officer.

So, we just have to go back and
convince you to join the police.

Actually, meeting
you is the very thing

that made me decide not
to become a cop at all.

I remember really vividly meeting the
two of you when I was nine years old,

and remember thinking, I never
want to end up like this.

Well, the two of
you better hurry.

We cannot let the world get in
the state that it's in right now.

And you might miss your opportunity
to get back to your reality,

if you delay any further. So...

Stop yourselves from
meeting me. I must

never see any of this, all right?
Can never hear any of this.

Just as a bit of a heads-up, you
might be in for a bit of a pay cut.

Ruawai? Who are you talking to?

Just some police officers from
an alternate reality, honey.

- You're such a dick.
- I know. I love you.

- Is that your...
- Yeah. That's the love of my life.

Wahine like that only comes
around once a lifetime.

Also, in our reality...
you're not...

Whatever it is, I'm sure it can
wait. We have to go right now.

So after meeting
Alternate Sergeant Maaka.

Looks like we've got
to go back to 1994,

and prevent ourselves
from meeting him, so

this reality never happens.

Hurry up, O'Leary!

Bye bye. See you.

Come on, Minogue.
We've got to hurry.

Well, it's hard to drive fast
with all these zoms around.

They don't exactly follow the
pedestrian rules, do they?

What... look out!

I think that was my
old maths teacher.

She used to always put
bad marks in my report.

Now she's put bad
marks on the car.

Too soon?

Well, I think immediately
probably is a little bit too soon.

Mrs Maaka was lovely. Sarge has
done well for himself there.

But now we've got to stop
that from ever happening.

Yeah. I think he'd be all
right with it, though.

I mean, what we should have
done is got her number,

and then when we change time,
we could have hooked them up.

Would have been lovely.

Yeah. It's too late
now, of course.

What?

Weird coincidence!

I think that was
my maths teacher.

What are the chances
of that happening?

- Twenty percent.
- Yeah.

You could have parked closer
to the time hole, Minogue.

More zombies.

Still slow as. Run!

- I'll be stoked if we can pull this off.
- Pull what off?

Go back and stop ourselves
from meeting young Sarge.

Absolutely.

Watch out!

Come on!

Yes. I used to love acid wash.

Who are you guys?

It's uncanny. You guys
look exactly like us.

You're not alien
clones, are you?

No. We're from the future.
Always wanted to say that.

Look, we don't have much time,
okay. You've gone back to 1994.

That's what that weird hole was.

Really? So you're...

It's difficult to explain. But
if you go round that corner,

you're gonna meet a
young Sergeant Maaka,

and prevent him from
wanting to become a cop.

Come on. Let's go
and have a look.

I'm lost.

Take your hands off that
innocent pedestrian!

Are you okay, Miss?

I think that went really well.

Absolutely. Good job.
Great teamwork. Excellent.

You know, I think, end of the day
we worked together well there.

Yeah. Look, I hate to
interrupt, O'Leary.

But since we no longer
have to go back to 2022,

why don't we stay here
and party like it's 1994?

Yeah. Excellent. Not a
bad idea, to be honest.

There's a few things I can think
of that I'd quite like to do.

See, Minogue is always
having great ideas like that.

Why can't you appreciate
how good they are?

- What?
- That is a great idea.

It is actually, it
is, yeah. Fair call.

- Credit where credit is due?
- Credit given.

Are you guys thinking
what I'm thinking?

Come on, Minogue. Race you.

- How awesome was that?
- It was classic. Classic nineties.

I reckon if we all go
through this hole together,

everything should go
back to how it was.

I hope this works. I don't
think I can handle two Minogues.

- What was that?
- Nothing.

Don't like it.

- Should we run?
- I'm with me.

Now look, if we don't stop it,

it's just gonna keep on
stealing time from other people.

- Minogue, where's the taser?
- I left it in the car.

We need to demobilise
that thing.

Minogue, have you still got that
fidget spinner in your left pocket?

Chuck it here.

- Awesome shot, Minogue.
- Yeah. It was pretty good.

- Cheers, O'Leary.
- Look. The hole is closing up! Go!

- Did we make it, O'Leary?
- Yeah. I think so.

There's only one of me
now... half the fun.

Feel like I've got,
like, more memories.

I feel like I've
got more memories.

- Like, new ones.
- Yeah. New ones.

O'Leary! Minogue!

- Sarge!
- Sarge!

Where did the skater go?

Well, he got away this time.
It's so good to see you, Sarge.

Really good to see you. You look
really good in that uniform.

- Like, really, really good.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

This may sound weird,

but just had a really weird
sense of déja vu right then.

You get that? You get
that? You get that?

So, we seem to have defeated
some sort of a time worm

which took us back to 1994,

and led to us creating an
horrific alternate reality.

I shut it down with a fidget spinner,
which is like a choking hazard.

Are you okay, Sarge?

I just made a few mistakes
tonight that made me question

whether I should even be
a cop at all, you know?

Sarge, the cameras are rolling.

Absolutely, definitely
be a cop. Definitely.

A hundred percent be a cop.
The best cop I've ever seen.

Hey, do you guys think
I'd suit a goatee?

- No!
- No way!

Absolutely not.

Okay. Well, thank
you for your honesty.

It's a gift and I appreciate it.

Subtitling: FAST TITLES MEDIA