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1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162
WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
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00:01:16,100 --> 00:01:17,200
So he said to me,
2
00:01:17,234 --> 00:01:19,066
"I just can't move my feet
like you do, Bud."
3
00:01:19,100 --> 00:01:22,033
So I says, "Hammer,
please don't make me hurt you.
4
00:01:22,067 --> 00:01:24,533
Now, just watch my feet."
5
00:01:24,567 --> 00:01:25,934
And the rest,
shall we say, is...
6
00:01:25,968 --> 00:01:27,967
A lie?
7
00:01:28,601 --> 00:01:29,567
Yes.
8
00:01:29,601 --> 00:01:31,166
Yes, my mouth
must be punished.
9
00:01:31,200 --> 00:01:33,401
Kiss me, you minx.
10
00:01:40,534 --> 00:01:42,966
Was it everything
I told you it would be?
11
00:01:43,000 --> 00:01:45,001
No.
12
00:01:45,400 --> 00:01:46,900
But it was everything
13
00:01:46,934 --> 00:01:49,434
the other girls
told me it would be.
14
00:01:51,767 --> 00:01:54,633
Well, then, let's try
my patented gyro-tongue action.
15
00:01:54,667 --> 00:01:56,467
Look...
16
00:01:56,501 --> 00:01:59,099
before I cheapen
myself anymore,
17
00:01:59,133 --> 00:02:01,667
are you sure you can get
front-row tickets
18
00:02:01,701 --> 00:02:04,266
to the Vanilla Ice
concert?
19
00:02:04,300 --> 00:02:05,633
Hey.
20
00:02:05,667 --> 00:02:08,767
Now, I'm the one
who showed Ice, Hammer's steps.
21
00:02:14,501 --> 00:02:18,234
Now, play that funky
lip music, white girl.
22
00:02:28,267 --> 00:02:30,400
Hey, if I told
you punks once,
23
00:02:30,434 --> 00:02:32,166
I told you
a thousand times.
24
00:02:32,200 --> 00:02:34,734
Keep your hands
off my daughter.
25
00:02:35,901 --> 00:02:38,134
You little ninny.
26
00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:50,234
Oh, I love it when
they come back for more.
27
00:02:53,300 --> 00:02:55,468
Oh, hi, son.
28
00:02:56,501 --> 00:02:57,500
Turn on the lights.
29
00:02:57,534 --> 00:02:58,966
What for?
30
00:02:59,000 --> 00:03:01,034
Turn on the lights!
31
00:03:03,801 --> 00:03:06,633
Does that look like
Kelly to you?
32
00:03:08,367 --> 00:03:10,067
Does it?!
33
00:03:16,767 --> 00:03:17,900
You mean...
34
00:03:17,934 --> 00:03:21,334
that was you over there,
Bundyfying that girl?
35
00:03:24,667 --> 00:03:26,900
All right, son.
36
00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:30,300
Come on over here,
now.
37
00:03:30,334 --> 00:03:31,433
Sit back down--
Here.
38
00:03:31,467 --> 00:03:33,133
Put your little arm
around her-- There.
39
00:03:33,167 --> 00:03:34,266
Hey, Peg!
40
00:03:34,300 --> 00:03:36,567
Peg, get down here,
you gotta see this!
41
00:03:36,601 --> 00:03:37,733
Bring
the camera!
42
00:03:37,767 --> 00:03:39,667
I gotta go.
43
00:03:39,701 --> 00:03:41,767
Call me when you get
the tickets.
44
00:03:41,801 --> 00:03:45,600
And remember,
the closer I get to Ice...
45
00:03:45,634 --> 00:03:49,101
the closer you get
to the heat.
46
00:03:54,868 --> 00:03:56,934
Oh! What is it, Al?
What is it?
47
00:03:56,968 --> 00:03:59,467
Are Marcie and Jefferson
playing nude Jeopardy again?
48
00:03:59,501 --> 00:04:00,467
No, no.
49
00:04:00,501 --> 00:04:02,266
No. More incredible.
50
00:04:02,300 --> 00:04:04,101
Bud had a girl here.
51
00:04:04,267 --> 00:04:06,134
Yeah, right.
52
00:04:07,200 --> 00:04:08,533
Al, I thought
we agreed
53
00:04:08,567 --> 00:04:11,401
not to make fun of him
to his face.
54
00:04:11,934 --> 00:04:13,400
Now, good night,
honey.
55
00:04:13,434 --> 00:04:14,600
And don't worry.
56
00:04:14,634 --> 00:04:17,500
One day, it won't be
just a cruel joke.
57
00:04:18,701 --> 00:04:21,099
Does no one in this house
see my sex appeal?
58
00:04:21,133 --> 00:04:24,400
I mean, I see it.
These people must be crazy.
59
00:04:24,434 --> 00:04:26,900
Well, luckily, I have a girl
who loves me now.
60
00:04:26,934 --> 00:04:27,999
Buy the way, Dad,
61
00:04:28,033 --> 00:04:29,834
I need 60 bucks
to take her to a concert,
62
00:04:29,868 --> 00:04:33,734
or she's gonna go with someone
she finds genuinely attractive.
63
00:04:39,701 --> 00:04:42,900
Daddy? Have I told you
how much I loved you?
64
00:04:42,934 --> 00:04:44,200
Oh, no.
65
00:04:44,234 --> 00:04:46,200
How much, Kelly?
66
00:04:46,234 --> 00:04:48,066
A whole lot.
67
00:04:48,100 --> 00:04:50,300
No, I mean, how much
money do you want?
68
00:04:50,334 --> 00:04:51,700
That's what I was
talking about:
69
00:04:51,734 --> 00:04:52,800
a whole lot.
70
00:04:52,834 --> 00:04:55,033
Daddy, I need
this money so bad.
71
00:04:55,067 --> 00:04:58,166
Our modeling school's going on
this really important field trip
72
00:04:58,200 --> 00:05:00,633
to the old models
home...
73
00:05:00,667 --> 00:05:03,600
to visit...Renee.
74
00:05:03,634 --> 00:05:06,733
She was the first model
who only had one name.
75
00:05:06,767 --> 00:05:10,266
I mean, since Renee, models
from Iman to Cheryl Tiegs
76
00:05:10,300 --> 00:05:13,301
have had only one name.
77
00:05:19,334 --> 00:05:20,500
Forget it, Kel.
78
00:05:20,534 --> 00:05:22,333
Dad works hard
for his money,
79
00:05:22,367 --> 00:05:24,266
and I say we use it
only for necessities.
80
00:05:24,300 --> 00:05:26,266
He's gonna give it to me
so I can get me some,
81
00:05:26,300 --> 00:05:27,834
aren't you, Dad?
82
00:05:31,834 --> 00:05:34,233
Yep, both my kids
have legitimate requests,
83
00:05:34,267 --> 00:05:36,099
so, uh, maybe I shall
solve this
84
00:05:36,133 --> 00:05:38,900
as the oh-so-wise Solomon
would.
85
00:05:38,934 --> 00:05:40,567
I shall keep my money
86
00:05:40,601 --> 00:05:43,434
and go to the nudie bar
tomorrow.
87
00:05:45,601 --> 00:05:48,934
So it shall be written,
so it shall be danced.
88
00:05:48,968 --> 00:05:51,934
Part the seas
of uselessness.
89
00:05:53,567 --> 00:05:57,267
I must go sleep
with the red plague.
90
00:06:11,200 --> 00:06:14,401
Well, maybe for a penny.
91
00:06:15,601 --> 00:06:17,099
Get out of here,
you old rag.
92
00:06:17,133 --> 00:06:19,101
Oh.
93
00:06:26,601 --> 00:06:29,266
What's wrong
with everyone, huh?
94
00:06:29,300 --> 00:06:31,500
I mean, surely a quarter's
not too much to ask
95
00:06:31,534 --> 00:06:33,900
to rub your hands
over all this.
96
00:06:34,968 --> 00:06:37,934
Yeah, it's a real bargain.
97
00:06:37,968 --> 00:06:40,567
You and I are
a lot alike, boy.
98
00:06:40,601 --> 00:06:41,900
No.
99
00:06:41,934 --> 00:06:44,301
I've had sex.
100
00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:52,034
And at least I have the decency
to die at 13.
101
00:06:56,501 --> 00:06:57,800
I wonder how
Kelly's doing
102
00:06:57,834 --> 00:06:59,900
on her new roller-skating
waitress job.
103
00:06:59,934 --> 00:07:02,667
Help me!
104
00:07:04,801 --> 00:07:07,700
Open the door! Open the door!
Open the door!
105
00:07:12,734 --> 00:07:16,066
Open the door, Bud!
Hurry!
106
00:07:16,100 --> 00:07:18,034
Hurry!
107
00:07:25,467 --> 00:07:26,533
Thank you.
108
00:07:26,567 --> 00:07:29,167
But a trifle late.
109
00:07:29,868 --> 00:07:32,600
Help me down
the steps, Sneezy.
110
00:07:33,801 --> 00:07:36,066
Dumb, stupid,
rotten job.
111
00:07:36,100 --> 00:07:40,267
Roller-skating waitress
at Bill's Hilltop Drive-In.
112
00:07:44,567 --> 00:07:46,266
This is what I spent
all those years
113
00:07:46,300 --> 00:07:49,101
learning my ABD's for?
114
00:07:50,400 --> 00:07:51,966
How much money
did you make, Kel?
115
00:07:52,000 --> 00:07:53,166
Nothing.
116
00:07:53,200 --> 00:07:54,966
This is
my first order.
117
00:07:55,000 --> 00:07:57,700
Stupid people put
their stupid restaurant
118
00:07:57,734 --> 00:07:59,999
on a stupid hill.
119
00:08:00,033 --> 00:08:02,366
So these people order
burgers and fries,
120
00:08:02,400 --> 00:08:04,300
and then they load me
into this chute,
121
00:08:04,334 --> 00:08:05,867
fire me towards the car.
122
00:08:05,901 --> 00:08:07,467
And I'm doing fine.
123
00:08:07,501 --> 00:08:11,033
I'm also doing warp 10
zooming down the expressway
124
00:08:11,067 --> 00:08:13,667
"It's a bird. It's a plane.
125
00:08:13,701 --> 00:08:17,967
No, it's a girl going 90
with a dress over her head."
126
00:08:18,834 --> 00:08:20,667
You know,
if mom hadn't made me stop
127
00:08:20,701 --> 00:08:22,166
kissing for money
when I was 5,
128
00:08:22,200 --> 00:08:24,900
I wouldn't be
in this pickle of a fish.
129
00:08:26,501 --> 00:08:28,567
So...how'd you do?
130
00:08:28,601 --> 00:08:30,834
Well, you know, I haven't
actually started yet.
131
00:08:30,868 --> 00:08:32,600
Let me save you
a lot of grief.
132
00:08:32,634 --> 00:08:34,834
Don't try the oil-me-up-
for-a-quarter bit,
133
00:08:34,868 --> 00:08:36,600
because you can feel
the Chihuahua
134
00:08:36,634 --> 00:08:38,468
down the block for free.
135
00:08:46,100 --> 00:08:48,433
Bud, I just can't miss
this bus trip.
136
00:08:48,467 --> 00:08:51,633
I mean, if I do, I'll fall
behind the other models.
137
00:08:51,667 --> 00:08:54,667
I'm already failing
Smiling 101.
138
00:08:55,400 --> 00:08:56,966
Oh, my God.
Now I've done it.
139
00:08:57,000 --> 00:09:00,167
My brain's beating faster.
Help me.
140
00:09:00,734 --> 00:09:04,266
Easy now,
Breakfast of Champions.
141
00:09:04,300 --> 00:09:06,667
Now, listen...
from here on in,
142
00:09:06,701 --> 00:09:08,800
I'll do the thinking
for the both of us,
143
00:09:08,834 --> 00:09:10,600
and you do the working
for the both of us.
144
00:09:10,634 --> 00:09:13,600
And we'll split it
30-70.
145
00:09:14,434 --> 00:09:16,999
Wait a second,
wait a second.
146
00:09:17,033 --> 00:09:19,099
I'm doing
all the work, right?
147
00:09:19,133 --> 00:09:22,067
So it's 30 for me.
148
00:09:23,234 --> 00:09:25,001
Okay.
149
00:09:28,033 --> 00:09:31,400
Oh, God, I just love
going to the mall.
150
00:09:31,434 --> 00:09:34,468
And did you see how
I controlled myself?
151
00:09:36,133 --> 00:09:39,034
I couldn't be more proud
of you if you were dead.
152
00:09:40,334 --> 00:09:41,600
You know, Peg,
153
00:09:41,634 --> 00:09:43,900
the least you could have done
was stand next to me in line
154
00:09:43,934 --> 00:09:45,867
when they shredded
my credit cards.
155
00:09:45,901 --> 00:09:48,834
Well, it wasn't my stuff
that put us over the limit.
156
00:09:48,868 --> 00:09:51,500
It was that thing
you just had to have.
157
00:09:51,534 --> 00:09:55,834
your Hanes underwear sewing kit.
158
00:09:56,634 --> 00:09:58,633
So, what do you want
to do tonight?
159
00:09:58,667 --> 00:10:00,300
Same thing the Rockefellers do:
160
00:10:00,334 --> 00:10:03,267
sew my underwear up
and cry.
161
00:10:03,534 --> 00:10:04,900
Come on, honey.
162
00:10:04,934 --> 00:10:06,633
I wanna go out.
163
00:10:06,667 --> 00:10:09,233
Peg, I just spent three hours
in your presence.
164
00:10:09,267 --> 00:10:10,733
I watched you buy lingerie
165
00:10:10,767 --> 00:10:13,734
that I wouldn't sleep next to
even if you weren't in them.
166
00:10:15,300 --> 00:10:19,434
So I don't want another
chalkboard screech out of you.
167
00:10:20,934 --> 00:10:23,301
Al!
168
00:10:24,701 --> 00:10:27,368
Honey, I wanna
go out tonight.
169
00:10:30,801 --> 00:10:31,767
Hi.
170
00:10:31,801 --> 00:10:32,834
Hi.
171
00:10:32,868 --> 00:10:34,233
You know,
in this day and age,
172
00:10:34,267 --> 00:10:36,133
I don't know why
you leave your door open.
173
00:10:36,167 --> 00:10:38,900
A maniac could just walk in
and kill you.
174
00:10:38,934 --> 00:10:42,667
Yeah, like I ever
get what I want.
175
00:10:45,434 --> 00:10:48,467
Yeah, Al, uh, we'd kind of like
to rent a video tonight,
176
00:10:48,501 --> 00:10:50,133
pop it on the old VCR,
177
00:10:50,167 --> 00:10:52,500
and spend a nice night at home.
178
00:10:52,534 --> 00:10:54,099
What are you telling me for?
179
00:10:54,133 --> 00:10:56,733
That's our VCR.
180
00:10:56,767 --> 00:10:58,266
Yes, I guess
about a month ago,
181
00:10:58,300 --> 00:10:59,900
when you came over
to borrow a soda,
182
00:10:59,934 --> 00:11:01,733
and we said,
"Take whatever you want,"
183
00:11:01,767 --> 00:11:04,567
you might have
misunderstood.
184
00:11:04,601 --> 00:11:06,999
Which brings me
to our flatware.
185
00:11:07,033 --> 00:11:09,800
Hey, I didn't steal
your bra.
186
00:11:11,167 --> 00:11:14,034
Easy, Marcie.
187
00:11:16,467 --> 00:11:18,233
Al, I know what
let's do.
188
00:11:18,267 --> 00:11:20,200
Let's go over to their house
and watch videos.
189
00:11:20,234 --> 00:11:22,166
Marcie, that's
a great idea.
190
00:11:22,200 --> 00:11:23,800
You'll bring the food
and the movies,
191
00:11:23,834 --> 00:11:25,834
and we'll bring
your VCR.
192
00:11:26,801 --> 00:11:28,366
Absolutely not.
193
00:11:28,400 --> 00:11:31,099
Dad, I just got Kelly
a babysitting gig,
194
00:11:31,133 --> 00:11:34,167
so tonight you have to stay
up in the bedroom with Mom.
195
00:11:34,868 --> 00:11:37,368
Oh, Al...
196
00:11:38,067 --> 00:11:41,733
We can break in
my new lingerie.
197
00:11:41,767 --> 00:11:42,999
I know.
198
00:11:43,033 --> 00:11:46,301
I'll wear
the mood panties.
199
00:11:54,968 --> 00:11:56,133
Hey!
200
00:11:56,167 --> 00:11:57,567
Let's do it!
Let's go!
201
00:11:57,601 --> 00:11:59,900
Last one to your house
gets to sit next to the wife.
202
00:11:59,934 --> 00:12:02,001
Come on.
203
00:12:04,767 --> 00:12:05,900
Babysitting.
204
00:12:05,934 --> 00:12:07,400
God, the degradation.
205
00:12:07,434 --> 00:12:10,633
You know, the last time
I babysat,
206
00:12:10,667 --> 00:12:13,400
it was for
this stupid little boy.
207
00:12:13,434 --> 00:12:15,099
I got so sick
of his whining
208
00:12:15,133 --> 00:12:18,200
that I held him over the toilet
and I kept on flushing it...
209
00:12:18,234 --> 00:12:21,300
telling him that the next time,
he'd be in it.
210
00:12:21,334 --> 00:12:24,166
From then on, every time
he heard running water,
211
00:12:24,200 --> 00:12:26,333
he freaked.
212
00:12:26,367 --> 00:12:29,401
Too bad, I just can't remember
who that kid was though.
213
00:12:37,267 --> 00:12:38,366
Oh, well.
214
00:12:38,400 --> 00:12:40,767
I'm sure he's
gotten over it by now.
215
00:12:42,300 --> 00:12:44,368
That must be
the client now.
216
00:12:44,934 --> 00:12:46,700
Just can't figure it out,
though.
217
00:12:46,734 --> 00:12:50,133
Why would people pay
$120 just to babysit one kid?
218
00:12:50,167 --> 00:12:51,767
I didn't say one kid, Kel.
219
00:12:51,801 --> 00:12:53,266
I said one family.
220
00:12:53,300 --> 00:12:55,733
Which family?
221
00:12:55,767 --> 00:12:58,600
The Hubbards.
222
00:13:02,567 --> 00:13:05,366
Kel, I got the money,
and I'm off to the concert.
223
00:13:05,400 --> 00:13:06,900
Bud, don't leave me!
224
00:13:06,934 --> 00:13:08,400
I'm your sister!
225
00:13:08,434 --> 00:13:09,500
What means more to you:
226
00:13:09,534 --> 00:13:12,001
your sister
or some little tramp?
227
00:13:15,968 --> 00:13:19,099
So...are we gonna be
good little boys and girls?
228
00:13:19,133 --> 00:13:20,767
Destroy!
Kill!
229
00:13:20,801 --> 00:13:21,767
Hate.
230
00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:24,467
I went wee-wee.
231
00:13:24,501 --> 00:13:27,567
Help!
232
00:13:28,067 --> 00:13:30,433
Okay, now,
here are our choices:
233
00:13:30,467 --> 00:13:32,733
Anna Karenina,
234
00:13:32,767 --> 00:13:34,567
Beaches,
235
00:13:34,601 --> 00:13:37,200
Madame Sousatzka,
236
00:13:37,234 --> 00:13:39,900
or the one that was
already in the VCR,
237
00:13:39,934 --> 00:13:43,067
Breast Monsters
From Jupiter.
238
00:13:43,834 --> 00:13:45,733
Well, I've already seen
Breast Monsters,
239
00:13:45,767 --> 00:13:46,934
but I'll go around again.
240
00:13:46,968 --> 00:13:48,700
I won't spoil
the ending for you,
241
00:13:48,734 --> 00:13:51,234
but it involves breasts.
242
00:13:52,467 --> 00:13:55,600
Oh, well, I'm game if
the ladies don't mind.
243
00:13:58,200 --> 00:14:00,700
Or we could watch
that one second.
244
00:14:00,734 --> 00:14:02,266
No, let's watch
that Beaches one.
245
00:14:02,300 --> 00:14:04,333
I wouldn't mind seeing
a couple of college babes
246
00:14:04,367 --> 00:14:06,001
in string bikinis.
247
00:14:06,434 --> 00:14:07,999
Actually...
248
00:14:08,033 --> 00:14:11,033
a complex tale about
the enduring friendship
249
00:14:11,067 --> 00:14:14,567
of two women
over a period of 18 years.
250
00:14:14,601 --> 00:14:17,633
Two girls swapping tans
on a beach for 18 years?
251
00:14:17,667 --> 00:14:19,366
Pop it in.
252
00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:21,900
You know, we can watch it
until they hit 30.
253
00:14:24,834 --> 00:14:27,800
Then we watch
Breast Monsters From Jupiter.
254
00:14:29,267 --> 00:14:30,834
Oh, relax, Al.
255
00:14:30,868 --> 00:14:33,099
You haven't even learned
how to capture breasts
256
00:14:33,133 --> 00:14:35,567
on this planet yet.
257
00:14:37,267 --> 00:14:38,600
He loves them,
you know...
258
00:14:38,634 --> 00:14:41,134
but he doesn't know
how to handle them.
259
00:14:41,901 --> 00:14:44,300
You know,
sometimes at night,
260
00:14:44,334 --> 00:14:45,733
he'll grab my knee,
261
00:14:45,767 --> 00:14:47,066
squeeze it, heh,
262
00:14:47,100 --> 00:14:49,800
and say, "Go on, say it.
263
00:14:49,834 --> 00:14:53,301
Who's the king, baby?
Who's the king?"
264
00:14:55,601 --> 00:14:59,600
Sometimes I laugh so hard,
I lose my place in my book.
265
00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:04,066
Well, i--
In my defense,
266
00:15:04,100 --> 00:15:05,900
uh, these days,
most things on her
267
00:15:05,934 --> 00:15:08,067
orbit around
her knees.
268
00:15:08,901 --> 00:15:11,334
Shall we movie?
269
00:15:17,501 --> 00:15:19,034
Honk, honk.
Oh!
270
00:15:19,534 --> 00:15:21,400
You love it, baby.
271
00:15:21,434 --> 00:15:23,600
"'Honk, honk,'
said the goss..."
272
00:15:23,634 --> 00:15:25,800
"Goose."
273
00:15:30,300 --> 00:15:31,567
Oh.
274
00:15:31,601 --> 00:15:35,700
"Goose, as she swims
to find..."
275
00:15:37,133 --> 00:15:39,600
"A."
276
00:15:40,868 --> 00:15:43,333
"...a worm for dinner"?
277
00:15:43,367 --> 00:15:44,867
Very good.
278
00:15:49,234 --> 00:15:52,300
"Quickie she flopped
her winds..."
279
00:15:52,334 --> 00:15:53,433
Oh, God.
280
00:15:53,467 --> 00:15:57,567
Look...let me capsize
the story for you.
281
00:16:00,534 --> 00:16:02,834
When the goose got
where it was going,
282
00:16:02,868 --> 00:16:06,900
she met this really cool
blonde goose...
283
00:16:06,934 --> 00:16:08,966
who only had one name:
284
00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:10,767
Kelly.
285
00:16:10,801 --> 00:16:12,800
Cool, huh? Huh.
286
00:16:13,834 --> 00:16:16,066
Anyway, she was a model.
287
00:16:16,100 --> 00:16:18,033
Everybody thought
that she was dumb,
288
00:16:18,067 --> 00:16:20,368
but she wasn't.
289
00:16:22,367 --> 00:16:25,333
Anyway...
she was so beautiful
290
00:16:25,367 --> 00:16:28,567
that all the boys
in Fairyland wanted her.
291
00:16:28,601 --> 00:16:31,467
You know, like
Prince Charming and...
292
00:16:31,501 --> 00:16:34,033
the guy with the pies
and the sheep...
293
00:16:34,067 --> 00:16:37,300
the guy shaped
like an egg...
294
00:16:37,334 --> 00:16:40,900
Dopey and Zeppo...
295
00:16:40,934 --> 00:16:42,400
Curly and Moe,
296
00:16:42,434 --> 00:16:45,366
and the other dwarfs,
et cetera.
297
00:16:45,400 --> 00:16:48,366
But instead of going
to the fairy dance,
298
00:16:48,400 --> 00:16:49,633
she had to babysit
299
00:16:49,667 --> 00:16:53,433
a bunch of troll-like
snot monsters, who...
300
00:16:53,467 --> 00:16:55,999
if one of them
squirts me with that gun,
301
00:16:56,033 --> 00:16:58,366
will die a horrible,
screaming death,
302
00:16:58,400 --> 00:17:01,200
along with his demon-seed
brother and sister Hubbards,
303
00:17:01,234 --> 00:17:04,767
at the hands of
the mighty dragon-beast Buck,
304
00:17:04,801 --> 00:17:08,368
who hasn't eaten
for a thousand years.
305
00:17:10,968 --> 00:17:12,733
The end.
306
00:17:12,767 --> 00:17:15,700
So...what have we learned
from all this?
307
00:17:15,734 --> 00:17:18,468
You die at dawn.
308
00:17:25,300 --> 00:17:26,567
Isn't this
a good movie?
309
00:17:26,601 --> 00:17:29,434
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah, it's great.
310
00:17:30,167 --> 00:17:32,066
Why did I marry?
311
00:17:32,100 --> 00:17:34,033
All I ever really
wanted to do
312
00:17:34,067 --> 00:17:36,500
was play racquetball
with the guys,
313
00:17:36,534 --> 00:17:39,467
maybe ride a motorcycle
across country,
314
00:17:39,501 --> 00:17:43,434
go to California
and become a porno star.
315
00:17:45,234 --> 00:17:46,567
Ah...
316
00:17:46,601 --> 00:17:49,467
But this is
almost as much fun.
317
00:17:49,501 --> 00:17:51,433
What a life.
318
00:17:51,467 --> 00:17:52,733
Is this it?
319
00:17:52,767 --> 00:17:54,600
Is this the end?
320
00:17:54,634 --> 00:17:58,133
Did it happen last night,
and no one told me?
321
00:17:58,167 --> 00:17:59,800
Gads.
322
00:17:59,834 --> 00:18:01,233
It's Saturday night.
323
00:18:01,267 --> 00:18:03,800
I should be out on the town,
dressed in leopard,
324
00:18:03,834 --> 00:18:09,167
purring like a kitten in Karl
"The Mailman" Malone's lap.
325
00:18:10,033 --> 00:18:14,034
Ah, but this is
almost as much fun.
326
00:18:18,868 --> 00:18:22,234
Hey! Peg would
wanna see this.
327
00:18:26,367 --> 00:18:29,066
I know what
328
00:18:29,100 --> 00:18:32,734
Marcie has the smallest breasts
in the room.
329
00:18:33,801 --> 00:18:36,467
Well, I'm happy about it.
Happy, I tell you.
330
00:18:36,501 --> 00:18:39,633
They are perfectly symmetrical
for my frame.
331
00:18:39,667 --> 00:18:42,333
And I'm happy about it.
Happy, I tell you.
332
00:18:42,367 --> 00:18:44,800
Besides, I'm smart.
333
00:18:44,834 --> 00:18:47,834
I have a big brain.
334
00:18:47,868 --> 00:18:49,900
That's what men really want.
335
00:18:49,934 --> 00:18:51,200
Milk Dud?
336
00:18:51,234 --> 00:18:53,201
Tootsie Roll.
337
00:18:58,067 --> 00:19:01,033
How long is this movie,
an eon?
338
00:19:01,067 --> 00:19:03,834
There isn't a woman under 50
in this film.
339
00:19:06,834 --> 00:19:08,400
About now on Jupiter,
340
00:19:08,434 --> 00:19:12,567
the breast gladiators would be
dueling with the liquid cheese.
341
00:19:13,734 --> 00:19:18,434
But, gee, then I'd be missing
out on all this human feeling.
342
00:19:20,734 --> 00:19:23,267
God, what happened to me?
343
00:19:24,200 --> 00:19:26,867
When I was young, I would have
beat the hell out of him
344
00:19:26,901 --> 00:19:29,800
and made his wife
hold my jacket.
345
00:19:29,834 --> 00:19:33,700
And here I am
hanging out with them.
346
00:19:33,734 --> 00:19:36,500
God, I was great
when I was a kid.
347
00:19:36,534 --> 00:19:38,333
A football hero.
348
00:19:38,367 --> 00:19:42,667
Young, strong, fast,
indestructible.
349
00:19:44,667 --> 00:19:46,600
* Memories *
350
00:19:46,634 --> 00:19:49,900
* Of the world
I left behind *
351
00:19:49,934 --> 00:19:52,867
* Misty, water-colored
Memories *
352
00:19:52,901 --> 00:19:56,234
* Of the way we were *
353
00:19:56,801 --> 00:19:59,467
* Shattered pictures *
354
00:19:59,501 --> 00:20:03,633
* Of the smiles
I left behind *
355
00:20:03,667 --> 00:20:08,233
* Smiles we gave
To one another *
356
00:20:08,267 --> 00:20:12,800
* For the way we were *
357
00:20:12,834 --> 00:20:19,133
* Can it be that it was
All so simple then? *
358
00:20:19,167 --> 00:20:24,934
* Or has time
Rewritten every line? *
359
00:20:24,968 --> 00:20:29,300
* If we had the chance
To do it all again *
360
00:20:29,334 --> 00:20:33,066
* Tell me, would we? *
361
00:20:33,100 --> 00:20:36,334
* Could we? *
362
00:20:37,467 --> 00:20:40,733
* Memories *
363
00:20:40,767 --> 00:20:44,867
* May be beautiful
And yet *
364
00:20:44,901 --> 00:20:50,300
* What's too painful
To remember *
365
00:20:50,334 --> 00:20:55,200
* We simply choose
To forget *
366
00:20:55,234 --> 00:20:59,266
* So it's the laughter *
367
00:20:59,300 --> 00:21:02,999
* We will remember *
368
00:21:03,033 --> 00:21:07,900
* Whenever we remember *
369
00:21:07,934 --> 00:21:12,300
* The way we were *
370
00:21:12,334 --> 00:21:18,967
* The way we were *
371
00:21:31,167 --> 00:21:32,700
Hi, Kel.
372
00:21:33,734 --> 00:21:35,401
The greatest thing.
373
00:21:35,934 --> 00:21:38,099
I got her front row.
374
00:21:38,133 --> 00:21:40,533
I got her backstage.
375
00:21:40,567 --> 00:21:42,867
I got her.
376
00:21:46,934 --> 00:21:49,234
I was so cool!
377
00:21:49,601 --> 00:21:51,867
Could you untie me,
please?
378
00:21:51,901 --> 00:21:53,467
Well, I'm not sure.
379
00:21:53,501 --> 00:21:55,767
Would you be mad if I said
I spent your share of the money
380
00:21:55,801 --> 00:21:57,301
on my date?
381
00:21:57,634 --> 00:21:58,999
I'd kill you.
382
00:21:59,033 --> 00:22:00,934
Well, then...
383
00:22:00,968 --> 00:22:03,400
I'll see you in the morning.
384
00:22:03,434 --> 00:22:05,166
If you need me,
I'll be upstairs.
385
00:22:05,200 --> 00:22:08,201
The bad thing
do make you sleepy.
386
00:22:11,601 --> 00:22:13,234
Oh, god.
27144
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