Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162
WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
1
00:01:17,167 --> 00:01:19,099
Yep.
2
00:01:19,133 --> 00:01:20,600
Finally,
3
00:01:20,634 --> 00:01:22,500
a day off.
4
00:01:23,467 --> 00:01:26,034
Boy, I'm gonna
have me some fun.
5
00:02:00,000 --> 00:02:01,667
What?
6
00:02:02,767 --> 00:02:05,567
Hi, honey. Are you enjoying
your day off?
7
00:02:05,601 --> 00:02:07,867
Peg, you know I am.
8
00:02:07,901 --> 00:02:10,767
Now, how are you
gonna ruin it for me?
9
00:02:10,801 --> 00:02:13,900
Sex, chores, what?
10
00:02:14,434 --> 00:02:15,733
Oh.
11
00:02:15,767 --> 00:02:18,233
Well, I guess we'll
just stick to chores today.
12
00:02:18,267 --> 00:02:19,700
But I'll
give you a choice:
13
00:02:19,734 --> 00:02:22,368
shower or
fix the doorbell.
14
00:02:24,367 --> 00:02:27,200
How much work is it
to fix the doorbell?
15
00:02:27,234 --> 00:02:29,400
Well, unlike
taking a shower,
16
00:02:29,434 --> 00:02:31,567
you might have
to raise an arm.
17
00:02:32,567 --> 00:02:35,333
Oh, Al, it makes
this wheezing pathetic sound.
18
00:02:35,367 --> 00:02:37,600
I'm embarrassed to have
my girlfriends hear it.
19
00:02:37,634 --> 00:02:39,467
Oh, come on,
they've heard worse.
20
00:02:39,501 --> 00:02:43,101
You know, "Move along,
bossy, no grazing here."
21
00:02:45,133 --> 00:02:48,101
Or, "Hey, how 'bout
sharing that cud?"
22
00:02:51,934 --> 00:02:54,233
Excuse me.
23
00:02:54,267 --> 00:02:56,533
That's the doorbell, Al.
24
00:02:56,567 --> 00:02:58,967
Come in!
25
00:03:00,267 --> 00:03:01,500
Oh, hi.
26
00:03:01,534 --> 00:03:04,633
I'm Brenda.
I'm your new neighbor.
27
00:03:11,234 --> 00:03:13,934
I just moved into the house
across the street.
28
00:03:13,968 --> 00:03:15,366
Oh, yeah.
29
00:03:15,400 --> 00:03:17,166
The old Thompson house.
30
00:03:17,200 --> 00:03:19,233
You know, he used to be
in charge of the soy trough
31
00:03:19,267 --> 00:03:20,500
over at Mr. Egg Roll.
32
00:03:20,534 --> 00:03:22,366
But then he got promoted
to the guy who says,
33
00:03:22,400 --> 00:03:24,099
"What size drink with that?"
34
00:03:24,133 --> 00:03:26,934
So we knew he'd be moving
to a better neighborhood.
35
00:03:26,968 --> 00:03:28,200
Hi, I'm Peggy.
Hi.
36
00:03:28,234 --> 00:03:31,333
If you want anyone to tell
a secret to, just tell me.
37
00:03:31,367 --> 00:03:34,066
Oh, and if you need any gossip
on any of the neighbors,
38
00:03:34,100 --> 00:03:35,667
just ask me.
39
00:03:36,267 --> 00:03:38,567
People tell me everything.
40
00:03:38,601 --> 00:03:40,633
Yeah, well, I've already heard
about the people
41
00:03:40,667 --> 00:03:43,934
who live on the other side
the Bundys.
42
00:03:44,701 --> 00:03:47,266
Boy, the stories I've
been hearing about them.
43
00:03:47,300 --> 00:03:49,800
They say the husband
will steal your paper,
44
00:03:49,834 --> 00:03:54,134
stalk your pets
and eat your garbage.
45
00:03:56,300 --> 00:03:59,834
Hey, half a potato
is not garbage.
46
00:04:01,634 --> 00:04:04,166
Anyway, this moving in
is difficult.
47
00:04:04,200 --> 00:04:05,767
It's harder because...
48
00:04:05,801 --> 00:04:07,600
I don't have a man.
49
00:04:07,634 --> 00:04:09,567
Mm. I know.
50
00:04:09,601 --> 00:04:12,733
Where do you find one
these days?
51
00:04:12,767 --> 00:04:15,600
Anyway, the movers,
they left my couch out
in front of my house,
52
00:04:15,634 --> 00:04:17,233
and I have
a job interview.
53
00:04:17,267 --> 00:04:20,567
I dance on tables for men
near airports.
54
00:04:24,100 --> 00:04:25,966
So I was wondering if you
could watch it for me
55
00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:27,400
until I get back?
56
00:04:27,434 --> 00:04:30,066
Well, a quarter might
keep my eyes open.
57
00:04:30,100 --> 00:04:31,667
Heh-heh.
You know, that's funny.
58
00:04:31,701 --> 00:04:34,334
A quarter used to keep them
closed in high school.
59
00:04:36,133 --> 00:04:37,934
Well, miss,
it's my day off,
60
00:04:37,968 --> 00:04:39,767
and as you can see,
I'm all alone.
61
00:04:39,801 --> 00:04:41,300
So, uh,
62
00:04:41,334 --> 00:04:43,834
I don't mind moving
that couch for you.
63
00:04:43,868 --> 00:04:46,633
Well, it is
a big couch.
64
00:04:46,667 --> 00:04:49,867
But then,
you're a big man.
65
00:04:52,400 --> 00:04:55,099
Hi, I'm Brenda Kostrowski.
66
00:04:55,133 --> 00:04:59,368
Peggy, do you mind if I borrow
this big strong guy?
67
00:05:01,534 --> 00:05:02,733
Yeah, okay.
68
00:05:02,767 --> 00:05:05,333
Uh, just have him back
by tomorrow.
69
00:05:05,367 --> 00:05:07,633
He has to perform brain surgery
in the morning,
70
00:05:07,667 --> 00:05:10,867
and he has a loafer sale
in the afternoon.
71
00:05:12,200 --> 00:05:14,834
Eh, my mother worries so.
72
00:05:18,367 --> 00:05:20,133
After you, my rear.
73
00:05:20,167 --> 00:05:22,468
I- I mean, my dear.
74
00:05:23,501 --> 00:05:25,300
You are too tired
to fix the doorbell,
75
00:05:25,334 --> 00:05:27,400
and yet you can
go move her couch?
76
00:05:27,434 --> 00:05:29,101
Yeah.
77
00:05:32,734 --> 00:05:34,700
Let's, uh, hurry up
and get that couch inside
78
00:05:34,734 --> 00:05:36,934
before Peg wants
to go sit on it.
79
00:05:38,767 --> 00:05:41,467
Why do we have
to fix the doorbell?
80
00:05:41,501 --> 00:05:44,999
Well, Kelly, that's why
grownups have kids.
81
00:05:45,033 --> 00:05:47,333
They had me to fix things
and you to...
82
00:05:47,367 --> 00:05:50,500
say "What's that?"
every time you see an airplane.
83
00:05:52,033 --> 00:05:53,500
Now, you're sure
the power's off?
84
00:05:53,534 --> 00:05:55,900
For the thousandth time,
85
00:05:55,934 --> 00:05:58,201
yes, the power is off.
86
00:06:02,300 --> 00:06:04,334
Aaaaghh!
87
00:06:04,601 --> 00:06:07,101
Help me!
88
00:06:23,934 --> 00:06:25,133
Kelly,
89
00:06:25,167 --> 00:06:27,334
spell "off."
90
00:06:29,467 --> 00:06:32,034
Spell it!
91
00:06:33,701 --> 00:06:36,401
"O"...something.
92
00:06:40,467 --> 00:06:43,967
Well, I'm just gonna go
change the old underwear.
93
00:06:46,501 --> 00:06:48,900
And we'll start
this again.
94
00:06:49,567 --> 00:06:51,433
Maybe next time
you can go the extra mile
95
00:06:51,467 --> 00:06:53,934
and put a bucket of water
for me to stand in.
96
00:07:02,033 --> 00:07:03,099
Peg!
97
00:07:03,133 --> 00:07:04,700
Peg, come here!
98
00:07:04,734 --> 00:07:06,433
Guess what happened.
99
00:07:06,467 --> 00:07:09,334
Buck stood upright,
and he's taking over your job.
100
00:07:10,400 --> 00:07:12,266
Yeah, like he could work
the register.
101
00:07:12,300 --> 00:07:14,667
Oh, please, just tell me
what happened.
102
00:07:14,701 --> 00:07:17,099
Well, after I moved
Brenda's couch,
103
00:07:17,133 --> 00:07:18,767
she said I was cute.
104
00:07:18,801 --> 00:07:21,734
Oh, Peg,
I think she likes me!
105
00:07:24,267 --> 00:07:26,133
Oh, honey.
106
00:07:26,167 --> 00:07:28,667
How could she?
107
00:07:28,701 --> 00:07:30,333
Oh, believe me, Al,
108
00:07:30,367 --> 00:07:33,500
and I'm telling you this
as your wife and as your friend,
109
00:07:33,534 --> 00:07:35,767
no one likes you.
110
00:07:37,234 --> 00:07:38,400
Face it, sweetie.
111
00:07:38,434 --> 00:07:39,999
I know you
better than anyone.
112
00:07:40,033 --> 00:07:41,133
And believe me,
113
00:07:41,167 --> 00:07:43,767
she sees you
as the world sees you:
114
00:07:43,801 --> 00:07:45,767
as cheap labor.
115
00:07:45,801 --> 00:07:47,734
Now, how 'bout a beer?
116
00:07:48,567 --> 00:07:49,633
Hi, Mom.
117
00:07:49,667 --> 00:07:52,133
Listen, um,
Bud needs this to stand in
118
00:07:52,167 --> 00:07:53,967
while he fixes
the doorbell.
119
00:07:55,234 --> 00:07:57,633
I've gotta go tease my way
up and down the block.
120
00:07:57,667 --> 00:07:59,700
I just heard from the women
in the neighborhood
121
00:07:59,734 --> 00:08:02,134
that there's a new stud
in town.
122
00:08:03,067 --> 00:08:04,467
Um, Al,
123
00:08:04,501 --> 00:08:06,834
Kelly and I just have some
mother-daughter stuff to do.
124
00:08:06,868 --> 00:08:07,999
We'll be home by dark.
125
00:08:08,033 --> 00:08:09,200
What did you hear
about him?
126
00:08:09,234 --> 00:08:11,266
Well, they said
that he's big and strong
127
00:08:11,300 --> 00:08:12,834
and good-looking.
128
00:08:14,000 --> 00:08:16,633
Help me
get this ring off.
129
00:08:16,667 --> 00:08:18,166
Okay, what else?
130
00:08:18,200 --> 00:08:19,300
That's it.
131
00:08:19,334 --> 00:08:20,800
They were watching him
move a couch
132
00:08:20,834 --> 00:08:23,333
into some house
across the street.
133
00:08:23,367 --> 00:08:25,201
I wonder who he is.
134
00:08:33,367 --> 00:08:36,033
Kelly, uh,
heh-heh,
135
00:08:36,067 --> 00:08:39,166
that stud used
to tuck you in
136
00:08:39,200 --> 00:08:40,867
when you were a baby.
137
00:08:41,868 --> 00:08:45,034
They were looking
at the garbage man?
138
00:08:51,667 --> 00:08:54,066
Al, it was nothing.
139
00:08:54,100 --> 00:08:56,300
She was a baby.
she was crying.
140
00:08:56,334 --> 00:08:57,767
I was watching
the soaps.
141
00:08:57,801 --> 00:09:00,166
He just couldn't
stand the noise.
142
00:09:00,200 --> 00:09:02,133
Kelly...
143
00:09:02,167 --> 00:09:04,201
that stud is me.
144
00:09:07,100 --> 00:09:09,200
You're funny, Daddy.
No, who is he?
145
00:09:09,234 --> 00:09:10,266
Tell her, Peg.
146
00:09:10,300 --> 00:09:12,099
Tell her who
the good-lookin' stud is
147
00:09:12,133 --> 00:09:13,733
who has all
the neighborhood women
148
00:09:13,767 --> 00:09:15,900
shavin' their moustaches.
149
00:09:21,234 --> 00:09:22,266
It can't be.
150
00:09:22,300 --> 00:09:23,467
I'm going outside.
151
00:09:23,501 --> 00:09:26,834
There's gotta be
someone else out there.
152
00:09:28,767 --> 00:09:30,733
What did they say
about me?
153
00:09:30,767 --> 00:09:34,366
Well, they said you had
the arms of a blacksmith
154
00:09:34,400 --> 00:09:35,767
and the legs of a god.
155
00:09:35,801 --> 00:09:37,333
Did they say anything
about my butt?
156
00:09:37,367 --> 00:09:38,999
Oh.
Huh?
157
00:09:39,033 --> 00:09:41,200
I was bendin' over
an awful lot out there.
158
00:09:41,234 --> 00:09:43,401
Did anyone notice?
Did they? Did they?
159
00:09:44,367 --> 00:09:45,667
They liked it,
Daddy.
160
00:09:45,701 --> 00:09:48,301
Yes!
161
00:09:53,133 --> 00:09:55,667
And do you know why
they liked it, pumpkin?
162
00:09:55,701 --> 00:09:57,733
'Cause you played
high school football, Daddy?
163
00:09:57,767 --> 00:09:59,966
'Cause I played
high school football.
164
00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:02,600
It never really fades,
does it?
165
00:10:02,634 --> 00:10:05,767
You wanna see me
in my uniform?
166
00:10:06,067 --> 00:10:07,867
No.
167
00:10:07,901 --> 00:10:09,600
But I bet you
Bud would.
168
00:10:09,634 --> 00:10:10,767
I'll just
go get him.
169
00:10:10,801 --> 00:10:14,099
Oh, those poor Al-starved
neighborhood women.
170
00:10:14,133 --> 00:10:15,834
Hey, if lovin' me
is wrong,
171
00:10:15,868 --> 00:10:17,767
they don't wanna be right.
172
00:10:19,467 --> 00:10:21,467
Pumpkin,
can I ask you something?
173
00:10:21,501 --> 00:10:24,834
When two people are
as beautiful as we are,
174
00:10:24,868 --> 00:10:27,800
is it terrible to--
To flaunt what we have?
175
00:10:27,834 --> 00:10:29,200
Terrible?
176
00:10:29,234 --> 00:10:31,867
It's an obligation.
177
00:10:31,901 --> 00:10:33,733
A duty.
178
00:10:33,767 --> 00:10:36,099
I mean, it's like belonging
to whoever wins you
179
00:10:36,133 --> 00:10:39,034
in a knife fight.
180
00:10:41,567 --> 00:10:42,834
Yeah.
181
00:10:42,868 --> 00:10:44,433
But the important thing
182
00:10:44,467 --> 00:10:46,567
is to never let them
touch you.
183
00:10:46,601 --> 00:10:48,999
Remember, they will
never buy the cow
184
00:10:49,033 --> 00:10:52,667
if they can get
the eggs for free.
185
00:10:55,701 --> 00:10:57,533
I did.
186
00:10:57,567 --> 00:10:58,633
Anyway,
187
00:10:58,667 --> 00:11:00,233
I'm gonna do
a few push-ups
188
00:11:00,267 --> 00:11:02,434
and go out there
and wash the car.
189
00:11:03,234 --> 00:11:05,334
Of course,
I'll need a rag.
190
00:11:13,267 --> 00:11:14,700
Where are you goin'?
191
00:11:14,734 --> 00:11:17,333
Where does it look
like I'm goin'?
192
00:11:17,367 --> 00:11:20,167
Mr. Pudding Belly
tryouts?
193
00:11:22,734 --> 00:11:26,034
No, my little couch doily.
194
00:11:26,567 --> 00:11:28,500
I'm gonna wash the car.
195
00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:44,600
This can't be happening.
196
00:11:44,634 --> 00:11:46,266
They couldn't be
talking about him.
197
00:11:46,300 --> 00:11:47,800
They just couldn't.
198
00:11:47,834 --> 00:11:49,700
And I don't know
what he's doing out there.
199
00:11:49,734 --> 00:11:52,099
There is not a woman
to be found anywhere.
200
00:11:52,133 --> 00:11:54,667
♪ Do it to them
One more time ♪
201
00:11:54,701 --> 00:11:57,133
♪ Oh, once is never enough ♪
202
00:11:57,167 --> 00:11:59,999
♪ With a man like me ♪
203
00:12:00,033 --> 00:12:01,767
♪ Whoa whoa whoa whoa
Whoa whoa whoa whoa ♪
204
00:12:01,801 --> 00:12:03,099
He's back!
205
00:12:03,133 --> 00:12:04,834
Look! He's washing his car!
206
00:12:04,868 --> 00:12:05,966
Oops!
207
00:12:06,000 --> 00:12:08,900
Looks like I got
some suds in my pants.
208
00:12:11,467 --> 00:12:13,834
Al, stop that!
209
00:12:13,868 --> 00:12:15,733
Mind your own business!
210
00:12:15,767 --> 00:12:17,301
Oh.
211
00:12:18,200 --> 00:12:20,066
I don't know what
they're lookin' at.
212
00:12:20,100 --> 00:12:23,633
Have they never seen flies
circle the head of a man before?
213
00:12:25,267 --> 00:12:27,166
No, it's attitude.
214
00:12:27,200 --> 00:12:29,500
I mean, for example,
215
00:12:29,534 --> 00:12:32,500
let's just say
that there is somebody
216
00:12:32,534 --> 00:12:34,733
so unattractive
in this room
217
00:12:34,767 --> 00:12:38,333
that even the girl cats
won't let him pet them.
218
00:12:38,367 --> 00:12:41,300
Now, how would
this person--
219
00:12:41,334 --> 00:12:44,700
Well, let's just
call him Bub.
220
00:12:44,734 --> 00:12:46,166
-- get attention?
221
00:12:46,200 --> 00:12:48,633
Now, he could go on using
his Daddy's credit card,
222
00:12:48,667 --> 00:12:50,500
you know,
calling date hotlines
223
00:12:50,534 --> 00:12:54,301
and saying that he's
Señor Pablo, U.N. diplomat,
224
00:12:56,734 --> 00:12:58,333
or he could learn--
225
00:12:58,367 --> 00:13:01,533
Before he loses his hair
to reveal his head pimples.
226
00:13:01,567 --> 00:13:03,800
-- that if you think
you're hot,
227
00:13:03,834 --> 00:13:06,034
other people will too.
228
00:13:06,567 --> 00:13:09,201
Señor Pablo
will not forget this.
229
00:13:12,167 --> 00:13:13,999
Should have seen it,
Peg.
230
00:13:14,033 --> 00:13:15,400
A million women
starin' at me,
231
00:13:15,434 --> 00:13:16,767
hooting and screaming.
232
00:13:16,801 --> 00:13:18,967
Now I know what
the Beatles felt like.
233
00:13:20,200 --> 00:13:22,600
Sweetheart, there were
three women out there:
234
00:13:22,634 --> 00:13:24,999
one was 60, one was 80,
235
00:13:25,033 --> 00:13:26,733
and one was older
than the tree they used
236
00:13:26,767 --> 00:13:30,034
to cut for her wooden leg.
237
00:13:31,100 --> 00:13:35,034
Hey, that's how
Tom Jones started, baby.
238
00:13:41,200 --> 00:13:42,800
Excuse me, Mr. Bundy?
239
00:13:42,834 --> 00:13:44,433
I was trying
to wash my car,
240
00:13:44,467 --> 00:13:46,800
but I'm just
a weak, little woman.
241
00:13:46,834 --> 00:13:48,800
Would it be asking too much
for you to come over,
242
00:13:48,834 --> 00:13:51,600
you know...
without your shirt,
243
00:13:51,634 --> 00:13:54,301
and, uh,
buff my bumpers?
244
00:13:58,868 --> 00:14:01,800
Hidy-hidy-hidy-ho.
245
00:14:05,400 --> 00:14:08,700
Now, don't go getting
your nose hairs in an uproar.
246
00:14:08,734 --> 00:14:10,867
You are not
goin' anywhere.
247
00:14:10,901 --> 00:14:12,767
Now, I don't know
where this sexy,
248
00:14:12,801 --> 00:14:15,366
"I'm a human being"
nonsense came from,
249
00:14:15,400 --> 00:14:17,800
but it's gonna stop
right now.
250
00:14:17,834 --> 00:14:18,966
Too late.
251
00:14:19,000 --> 00:14:21,533
The fuse is lit,
and the fire is on.
252
00:14:21,567 --> 00:14:24,034
Burn, baby, burn.
253
00:14:27,901 --> 00:14:30,767
It's an Al inferno.
254
00:14:38,133 --> 00:14:40,134
Ssss.
255
00:14:47,868 --> 00:14:50,400
Marcie, I tell ya,
this is serious.
256
00:14:50,434 --> 00:14:52,333
Something is going on.
257
00:14:52,367 --> 00:14:54,134
He showered.
258
00:14:55,734 --> 00:14:58,099
In the morning.
259
00:14:58,133 --> 00:15:00,300
Now, the only time
that Al used to shower
260
00:15:00,334 --> 00:15:02,700
was right after
we had sex.
261
00:15:02,734 --> 00:15:05,266
Immediately after.
262
00:15:05,300 --> 00:15:07,767
Sometimes even during.
263
00:15:08,334 --> 00:15:09,999
And you know what else?
264
00:15:10,033 --> 00:15:13,033
He bought a toothbrush.
265
00:15:13,067 --> 00:15:15,900
With a rubber tip.
266
00:15:16,601 --> 00:15:18,200
Oh, Peggy.
267
00:15:18,234 --> 00:15:19,700
I know.
268
00:15:19,734 --> 00:15:21,700
I don't know what to do.
269
00:15:21,734 --> 00:15:22,934
He's happy.
270
00:15:22,968 --> 00:15:25,066
He smells good.
271
00:15:25,100 --> 00:15:27,600
He's even making more money
at the shoe store.
272
00:15:27,634 --> 00:15:29,934
And last night, when I was
rifling through his pants
273
00:15:29,968 --> 00:15:33,433
to get some of it,
I found these:
274
00:15:33,467 --> 00:15:35,167
Tic Tacs.
275
00:15:39,734 --> 00:15:40,867
Well,
276
00:15:40,901 --> 00:15:42,867
according to the book
I've just read,
277
00:15:42,901 --> 00:15:44,900
Keep Him Down,
Keep Him Down, Keep Him Down:
278
00:15:44,934 --> 00:15:47,368
A Woman's Guide
to Happiness,
279
00:15:50,534 --> 00:15:52,467
you don't really
have to worry
280
00:15:52,501 --> 00:15:56,099
until a man stops buying
white underwear.
281
00:15:56,133 --> 00:15:57,366
The time to sweat
282
00:15:57,400 --> 00:15:59,567
is when men
buy underwear in a tube.
283
00:15:59,601 --> 00:16:01,099
You know,
the bright-colored ones
284
00:16:01,133 --> 00:16:03,934
that fat European men
use as bathing suits.
285
00:16:06,534 --> 00:16:08,467
Well, I don't have to worry
about that.
286
00:16:08,501 --> 00:16:12,033
Al would never give up
his white Hanes underwear.
287
00:16:12,067 --> 00:16:14,166
Size 34, three to a pack.
288
00:16:14,200 --> 00:16:16,066
I know that because
I bought him a three-pack
289
00:16:16,100 --> 00:16:17,266
a couple of years ago,
290
00:16:17,300 --> 00:16:20,600
and he still has two
he hasn't even used yet.
291
00:16:31,834 --> 00:16:33,033
Ladies.
292
00:16:33,067 --> 00:16:36,667
Excuse me,
I should say, "Lovely ladies."
293
00:16:37,167 --> 00:16:39,600
Hi, Al.
294
00:16:43,467 --> 00:16:45,301
Shut up.
295
00:16:46,234 --> 00:16:48,333
What are you doing home
in the middle of the day?
296
00:16:48,367 --> 00:16:50,400
Well, I just thought
I'd freshen up with a shower
297
00:16:50,434 --> 00:16:52,533
and then go back
to work.
298
00:16:52,567 --> 00:16:53,900
Oh, by the way,
299
00:16:53,934 --> 00:16:56,267
have you seen my new underwear?
300
00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:03,034
Zebra-striped.
301
00:17:05,934 --> 00:17:07,966
Uh-huh.
302
00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:11,368
He looks just as good going
as he does coming.
303
00:17:13,000 --> 00:17:14,533
Marcie.
304
00:17:15,234 --> 00:17:17,033
Sorry. I don't know
what came over me.
305
00:17:17,067 --> 00:17:19,033
Peg, you gotta come up
306
00:17:19,067 --> 00:17:20,934
and check me out
in my new underwear!
307
00:17:20,968 --> 00:17:23,166
Oh, you can bring
Marcie too!
308
00:17:23,200 --> 00:17:25,468
Can we, Peggy?
Can we?
309
00:17:32,133 --> 00:17:33,999
A large foot?
You, madam?
310
00:17:34,033 --> 00:17:35,266
Oh, no.
311
00:17:35,300 --> 00:17:38,101
You merely have
a full-figured foot.
312
00:17:38,701 --> 00:17:40,600
Oh, you.
313
00:17:40,634 --> 00:17:42,734
Tickle, tickle, tickle.
314
00:17:44,968 --> 00:17:47,567
Oh, please.
315
00:17:47,601 --> 00:17:50,700
Now, how many ballet slippers
can I fix you up with?
316
00:17:50,734 --> 00:17:55,134
You've been so delightful,
I'll just take them all.
317
00:17:56,167 --> 00:17:58,366
This is for the shoes.
318
00:17:58,400 --> 00:17:59,733
Thank you.
319
00:17:59,767 --> 00:18:01,567
And this
320
00:18:01,601 --> 00:18:03,867
is for the cookie monster.
321
00:18:03,901 --> 00:18:05,800
Oh.
322
00:18:10,067 --> 00:18:12,633
Well, serving number 57.
323
00:18:12,667 --> 00:18:14,166
Me!
Me!
Me!
324
00:18:14,200 --> 00:18:15,200
I'm number 57.
325
00:18:15,234 --> 00:18:16,333
Al! Al!
326
00:18:16,367 --> 00:18:17,500
Take a number.
327
00:18:17,534 --> 00:18:19,266
Oh, it's you.
328
00:18:19,300 --> 00:18:20,500
What's shakin', babe?
329
00:18:20,534 --> 00:18:23,400
Every chin
in this store.
330
00:18:23,434 --> 00:18:24,533
Look, honey.
331
00:18:24,567 --> 00:18:27,500
I went shopping for food.
Heh-heh-heh.
332
00:18:27,534 --> 00:18:29,900
And I brought you
some very special treats.
333
00:18:29,934 --> 00:18:32,166
Bread and cheese.
334
00:18:32,200 --> 00:18:36,600
Just picture them all nicely
laid out on a paper plate.
335
00:18:36,634 --> 00:18:38,333
Oh, come home
with me, honey.
336
00:18:38,367 --> 00:18:40,533
Ah, sweetheart,
you are a pearl,
337
00:18:40,567 --> 00:18:42,800
but as you can see, I have
to be here for a long time.
338
00:18:42,834 --> 00:18:45,133
I baked you a pie,
339
00:18:45,167 --> 00:18:47,433
Mr. Bundy.
340
00:18:47,467 --> 00:18:48,800
Well, thank you.
341
00:18:48,834 --> 00:18:50,700
Ju-- Put it over there
with the others.
342
00:18:50,734 --> 00:18:52,700
Okay.
343
00:18:54,400 --> 00:18:56,300
Anyhow, Peg, love the bread,
love the cheese,
344
00:18:56,334 --> 00:18:58,533
but I got my little
shoe store gig here.
345
00:18:58,567 --> 00:19:01,633
So, uh, why don't you go on home
and run me a nice, warm tub.
346
00:19:01,667 --> 00:19:04,166
And, uh, oh, by the way,
lay out my, uh,
347
00:19:04,200 --> 00:19:06,234
leopard underwear.
348
00:19:10,567 --> 00:19:12,800
Serving number 57.
349
00:19:12,834 --> 00:19:15,267
I'm number 57.
350
00:19:19,000 --> 00:19:22,200
Mom, Al's not home yet.
351
00:19:22,234 --> 00:19:26,067
Well, it's midnight,
and his tube is empty.
352
00:19:29,601 --> 00:19:31,667
Mom, could you try
not to eat corn
353
00:19:31,701 --> 00:19:33,633
while I'm talkin' to you.
354
00:19:33,667 --> 00:19:36,468
Right. I'll call you
in the morning.
355
00:19:38,200 --> 00:19:41,066
Gee, kids, you know,
I know I've dreamt about it,
356
00:19:41,100 --> 00:19:44,099
but what would I do if
your father actually does leave?
357
00:19:44,133 --> 00:19:46,200
Oh, don't worry, Mom.
358
00:19:46,234 --> 00:19:49,633
I mean, you have the skills
and education to...
359
00:19:51,701 --> 00:19:54,700
Well, you sit
a damn fine couch.
360
00:19:57,667 --> 00:19:59,600
Daddy's home!
Hey, Dad!
361
00:20:00,667 --> 00:20:02,099
Oh, gee, Al,
362
00:20:02,133 --> 00:20:03,200
where have you been?
363
00:20:03,234 --> 00:20:05,433
Oh, I was just...
364
00:20:05,467 --> 00:20:07,900
walkin' around,
and I, uh...
365
00:20:08,300 --> 00:20:09,999
Then I stopped.
366
00:20:10,033 --> 00:20:13,401
My underwear
was killin' me.
367
00:20:14,067 --> 00:20:15,366
Even in a mild wind,
368
00:20:15,400 --> 00:20:18,267
you can freeze a cheek
in these babies.
369
00:20:21,133 --> 00:20:22,800
Well, what happened, honey?
370
00:20:22,834 --> 00:20:24,767
Well, this beautiful--
371
00:20:24,801 --> 00:20:26,667
Very beautiful girl
came in the store...
372
00:20:26,701 --> 00:20:30,366
and asked me to fly away
to the Greek islands with her.
373
00:20:30,400 --> 00:20:33,267
Well, did you go, Daddy?
374
00:20:36,234 --> 00:20:37,733
Yes, pumpkin, I went.
375
00:20:37,767 --> 00:20:40,734
I'm sorry I didn't get
a chance to say goodbye.
376
00:20:43,334 --> 00:20:46,266
Anyway, all she wanted
was a love toy.
377
00:20:46,300 --> 00:20:48,667
Yeah, I know the feeling.
378
00:20:49,901 --> 00:20:51,999
Oh, please.
379
00:20:52,033 --> 00:20:53,999
The only feeling
that you know
380
00:20:54,033 --> 00:20:55,800
is Buck's fur
against your cheek
381
00:20:55,834 --> 00:20:57,800
on a warm summer night.
382
00:20:57,834 --> 00:21:00,034
Oh, now.
N- now, kids.
383
00:21:01,200 --> 00:21:04,033
It was every man's
fantasy:
384
00:21:04,067 --> 00:21:06,800
to be kept by a woman
whose skirt is as short
385
00:21:06,834 --> 00:21:10,468
as the life span of the man
that she chooses.
386
00:21:11,767 --> 00:21:13,033
But I said no.
387
00:21:13,067 --> 00:21:15,500
Why?
388
00:21:17,434 --> 00:21:19,533
Well, because I realized
389
00:21:19,567 --> 00:21:21,633
that everything I'd been doing
up to now,
390
00:21:21,667 --> 00:21:23,300
the bathing, the brushing,
391
00:21:23,334 --> 00:21:26,233
the changing of the socks,
392
00:21:26,267 --> 00:21:28,567
the being nice to people,
393
00:21:28,601 --> 00:21:30,700
the trying to succeed,
394
00:21:30,734 --> 00:21:32,366
was all for nothing.
395
00:21:32,400 --> 00:21:36,600
All those things
are designed to attract.
396
00:21:37,200 --> 00:21:39,667
Why should I be attractive?
397
00:21:39,701 --> 00:21:42,134
I'm married with children.
398
00:21:55,300 --> 00:21:58,400
Mom, look at him.
399
00:21:58,434 --> 00:22:00,567
What's happening?
400
00:22:05,467 --> 00:22:07,333
I'm scared.
401
00:22:07,367 --> 00:22:09,434
He's coming back.
402
00:22:10,501 --> 00:22:13,567
My Al is coming back!
403
00:22:24,300 --> 00:22:25,500
Hanes!
404
00:22:25,534 --> 00:22:27,401
He's back!
27574
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
