All language subtitles for Bad.Investigate.2018.PORTUGUESE.1080p.AMZN.WEBRip.DDP2.0.x264-ExREN-English

Subtitles by @NAIM2007
subscene.com

What...

- Do you see? Do you see?
- What are you talking about?

Don't you start with
the gym talk again!

This guy must weigh about 200 pounds,
man, and he's still faster than you!

It's the shoes.

The insoles heat up my feet.
My feet get hot and pull me back.

They pull you back...
If it weren't for Fart, man...

Here you go, don't waste it
all on powder.

The Fart has saved
Planet Earth!

Hey! Who's going
to pay the damage?

Who's going to do what, man?

Pay the damage...

Listen up, buffoon,
don't you like freedom?

Wearing a carnation?

Singing, what do you call it,
"Grândola, Vila Morena"?

I don't understand...

- You don't understand?
- This young man is saying that

today we just took another
criminal off the streets,

so that you can enjoy freedom!

And, yeah, so that people can still
enjoy coffee with milk and a croissant

in your terrace.

Be good! Be good!

Damn it!

This is Alex.

And here is Cid.

They're not cops,
they're not criminals,

and they're not trustworthy.

To tell you the truth, no one
knows what it is that they do.

Today, they might be
chasing a drug dealer.

Tomorrow, an unfaithful husband.

Money is money, and
many make a lot of it.

One day, they're vigilantes;
the other, they're detectives.

They enforce the law in
the morning, and at night...

... they crap on it.

- Hello Xavier!
- Where's the car?

It's over there!

Now, are you awake?
Hurry up!

Cidalio!

Cidalio!

Get up, you lazy bones!

- Did you see the time...
- You got home last night?

Did you?

All you do is come home,
sleep, eat, and go out again.

You know you've got a family,
don't you?

- My pension can't cover it all!
- You spend days away from home.

- You're up to no good, mister.
- You always get home very late.

- Yes, you are...
- What about me?

- I'm your mother.
- I'm here all by myself!

- A mother can feel.
- Is that it?

Can sense these things!

You're not fooling me.

My dear...

You should find a job,
find a nice girl...

I'm sure there's another broad!

I just hope I won't have to bring
you rissoles in prison, someday.

- Weren't you trying to quit smoking?
- It's my mum, man, the old bag...

She's fucking with
my head. She's f...

... eating! Hi little one!

My mum eats her son's head,
can you imagine?

I didn't know she was here.

Your problem, Cid, is that
Florinda wants grandchildren,

and the only thing you take
home is weed and rolling paper.

Okay, I'm rushing
to get a broad...

I've got one and I even wear
a tracksuit every Sunday.

Alright, but you read "Hello!"
and care about global warming.

I think it's about time you decided
what you want to do with your life.

I'm turning off radio Renascença,
can't stand listening to it every day.

Can I switch to
a different station?

Fuck... face it... Face it,
and go annoy someone else!

Jesus Christ! Your daughter's
teacher! What a fox!

Wait a minute,
let me talk to her.

- What happened?
- Hit on someone else, man!

You keep on going on that
I have to get a broad...

What's wrong with her?
Why can't it be her?

You'll hit on her, dump her,
she'll stay home crying,

and then I won't have anywhere
to drop the kid!

You think I treat broads
like merchandise!

Okay, let's talk about your
relationship with the broads,

and then you're going to tell me
that you're a romantic!

Romantic like "I love you and
I want to have children with you"?

Not like that!
I don't see things that way!

I'm 35, Alex,
I've had many pussies,

but I never promised to take
any of them down the aisle.

Ever!

I have a lot of respect for women,
you know? I really respect them!

A woman can also be looking
for the same things as me.

I want a woman... What do I want?
I want a woman...

... who takes pride in herself,
who is pretty,

who takes care of herself
and the house, of course,

who can cook, is a good mum,
and good in bed...

That's what you want, the problem
is that they want different things.

They don't want to hear:
"Take this broom and be happy!"

- Cut the crap, Alex!
- Add ironing and anal sex to the list.

Who said that it wasn't
on the list?

I knew it! I knew you'd react
like this, you know why?

You're prejudiced! I know you.
You've got rocks in your head...

Oh, he wants a girl who takes
it up the arse!

- Isn't that what you just said?
- Alex, did you know...?

Statistics... Don't be ignorant!

You knew that only one out of
a thousand women likes it up the...

Wait a minute.
Where did you read that shit?

- On Facebook?
- A thousand!

A thousand, Alex! Imagine you've
got a thousand... oysters.

You've got a thousand oysters.
In those thousand oysters...

You're going to open all the oysters,
and only one has that little pearl.

It likes taking it up...
It's not just liking it up the arse!

It's what it means!

What it means.

- And what does it mean?
- It means that she's special.

She's special, she's willing
to explore every limit,

overcome every limit set by society.
She's open to new experiences.

She doesn't carry rocks in her head
like you, you're prejudiced.

Wait. Okay, let's take
a look at things.

It's like this.
Imagine you've got a wife.

A pretty one, who knows how
to dress well, a good housewife.

Good in bed... The full package!

But she doesn't like the pearl
up her arse...

It's not worth it, man!

- Come on, tell me!
- It's not worth it.

I'm trying to explain, but you only
see it your way. Why do I bother?

That's all very nice, man,
but the truth is that...

Who is it?

- Hello!
- Where are you?

- I need to speak to you.
- Now?

I can't right now.
I'm about to have a meeting.

Can't it be after dinner?

Alright! Two ducks in the park
and try to be on time!

No one is indifferent to Deputy
Superintendent Romeu.

No cop looks more like
a burglar than him.

He's always afraid that someone
might be listening to his calls,

so he'll use words like "two ducks"
to mean twenty-two (10 pm).

Today, he's Deputy Superintendent,
as he hasn't made Superintendent yet.

But he wants more!
So much more!

And the law isn't going
to stop him.

What more do you want?
A lingering kiss on the judge's arse?

Those bastards go in and they're out
in a few hours taking a free meal!

- You know what I think about that.
- Listen...

It happened yesterday,
indications from above.

A few more stamps
and paperwork...

I don't have cops on the street,
I've got secretaries with a moustache.

And now it's a nightmare with
the bloody budget cuts!

But what's going on?
What did you want to talk to me about?

Silva, you're superintendent,
I'm deputy superintendent.

Do you see it?
Deputy Superintendent.

It's horrible!
It sounds awful.

I don't like being deputy.
Being deputy bothers me.

I don't want to be
deputy anymore.

It's not my job to appoint
people for the ranks.

I know that! But I need your help
to get the attention of the guys upstairs.

- And how can I help you to do that?
- I don't know...

All I know is that Romeu must be
on the news, on the TV news...

Romeu must pop up on a large screen,
so they'll remember Romeu.

I really don't see
how I can help you.

You don't see it?

You don't see it because you're not
closing your eyes and imagining it.

I've had my eyes closed
for a long time now, Silva.

Like that time you were caught in
a party with drugs and whores...

We've already talked about this,
man! It was a mistake.

You know that you can count on me,
but what you're asking is very hard.

Everyone thinks that I'm a lady.
But I'm actually a whore.

It's how I feel, anyway.

He comes home, eats dinner, goes
to sleep, and goes back to work.

- What does he do?
- He's an attorney.

He works in criminal law.

An attorney.
That's worse than the devil!

We should consider
that if he's an attorney,

he might know someone
in the police force.

He knows cops, robbers...
He knows every scum in society.

I'm thirsty.
Can I get you anything?

- I'd like a beer, thank you.
- I'd prefer a cup of tea.

Sure.

Listen, if you would get me
some cookies...

I need a tip.

I need a major arrest.

I want flashes on my face.

Microphones that
look like lollypops...

To see if they'll get rid
of the stupid deputy.

If I help you to get rid of the deputy,
I want my mistake to go away.

- I want it gone for good.
- That's all Romeu needs.

And if you give Romeu what
he needs, many kids will be happy.

I'll see what I can do.

And how's your daughter?
Is she still a lesbian?

What made you suspect that
your husband was cheating on you?

There have been many signs.
Too many to say here.

But the most obvious one is that
he stopped wanting me.

When you say "he stopped wanting me",
you're talking about sex.

I thought that was obvious.

In our job, we deal with facts,
so when you're saying

that he stopped wanting you,
you're not being very specific.

He's not fucking me!

- Is that better?
- It's better.

- And are you prepared for the truth?
- What truth?

Hello, darling!

Yes. Yes.
Is your day also going well?

Don't worry.

I'll give it...
I'll leave it there.

Sweet kisses.

Lying son of a bitch!

As I was saying, some of our clients
aren't prepared for the truth.

Truth? What truth?
That he's two-faced?

No. When we're telling the truth,

we're not just talking about
the number of faces.

Then, what are
we talking about?

We're talking about...

We're talking about
the betrayed woman.

Is she able to turn her husband on
and dominate him in bed?

I'm saying this because
if you notice nature...

It's almost like a mating
handbook, right?

This handbook could be easily
copied into human behaviour.

I don't understand.

Don't take this the wrong way,
he loves jungle documentaries.

Let's take chimps, for example.

The female dominates the male through
aggressive sexual techniques, right?

Which are very...

My husband is a fucking cheater.

And I want to know who's
the whore that he's banging.

I knew it!

Sooner or later you'd fall
into my trap.

Canhão! Inspector Canhão!

The brightest star
in the police force.

Canhão doesn't sleep,
and he doesn't even blink.

The law is the law and every
inch of it ought to be obeyed.

Did you fuck up?

Canhão is on to you like a dog
because Canhão doesn't give up.

He never gives up!

Yes?

The guys who make these clothes like
making these modern and pretty things

and forget that we need to take a piss!
Come in and sit down.

I got my hands on Salgado
this morning.

So I heard, Canhão.
Excellent work!

Hey, why don't you
take a vacation?

You could take your girl to Paris
to see Mickey Mouse.

- I'm here because I'm suspicious.
- Suspicious? What about?

It looks like we've got
two vigilantes in town.

Yes?

Superintendent,
have you seen Ferreira?

Ferreira? No!

It's not the first or second time
that our men are called for a job,

they get there and the suspect's
already in handcuffs.

How did you come to the conclusion
that they're vigilantes?

I questioned suspects and witnesses,
witnesses who saw two individuals

arrest someone who might be
wanted by the police.

They handcuff him.
They exit the scene.

Then, our men get there
and complete the arrest.

To call them vigilantes
is taking it a little far.

The thing is that they seem to perform
in a very specific geographical area.

An area over which
you are in charge.

If someone leaves a garbage bag
behind, I don't mind collecting it.

- That's a crime, Romeu.
- Let's take it easy, Canhão!

That's probably some guy with cuffs
at home, which he used with the wife,

who wanted to get back at a neighbour
for making noise with the TV.

Here's what we'll do, I'll take
your concerns into account

and leave them on top of these,

and if it happens again,
you can count on me.

Look!

What about dolphins? Why don't you
take your girl to swim with dolphins?

It's a classic!
This engine never fails!

Deputy!
What's up, deputy?

Didn't I tell you to be
here on time?

- Calm down, deputy!
- Shut up, Cidalio!

Cid! Cid! my name is Cid!

The only Cid I know is a singer
and likes bananas. You're Cidalio!

- What's the matter, superintendent?
- What's the matter?

The next time I ask
you to catch a guy,

try not to make such a mess
in the middle of the street.

It didn't go well. Cid should've
gotten him in his flat.

You didn't get hit with a piano!
Here's what we'll do next time...

Because of you, Canhão is on to me.
And you know Canhão.

- I can handle Canhão, okay?
- He's a fucking leech!

He'll only let go after
sucking your blood!

And no point in pouring gasoline and
lighting him on fire. They've tried.

I want results. It's the only
thing that matters to me.

- Deputy, we've had results.
- You're both sloppy!

We can't always do things
without making a noise.

You have to!
You've done it before!

You know that the force is all about
paperwork and formalities,

and I can't stand that shit!

I want to catch
the bad guys quickly.

I didn't get to be
deputy superintendent

by dragging my limp dick
around every precinct.

I want people arrested.
Without making a mess.

I think that the problem is that
we're lacking some extra motivation.

What do you want?

You want me to pay you?
Is that it? You want money?

It's not money,
it's an allowance.

Up on my desk, there's so much shit
concerning both of you!

That scheme alone where you guys trick
men who cheat on their wives for money

would get you a bunch of years.

That's why you shouldn't put Romeu
in a bad mood or he'll cough it up.

The whole thing!

Here's extra motivation!

We've been worked by this guy
for years. I'm sick of this shit!

We've got to take care of this dude!
You know why we had to listen to this?

I know, it's all my fault, right?
It's my fault!

You can't run! You're 35 and you
look like an old man with a walker.

I'm not a cheetah, Alex!

You don't know how to use
a gun, you can't run...

- Do you remember this?
- You had to bring up that shit again!

Five seconds, man! You didn't join
the police because of five seconds!

Get your arse off the bed, man!
Go jogging, or go to the gym...

I didn't get kicked out of
the police for sniffing cocaine!

At least I made it to that shit!

- Look! Five! Can you see? Five!
- Again?

Júlio!

Xavier!

I'm sorry, I didn't know it was you.
I wanted to speak with you...

Let me explain.
Please, let me explain!

Where is Enrique?

I swear to you! I swear
I don't know! I swear!

He left Galicia.
I don't know where he is.

Why, Júlio?

Why?

What are you talking about?

Your brother? That's nothing
to do with me! Nothing!

No, no, no...

We found recent jeep tyre marks.
What do you think?

Maybe a boat
unloaded something?

Get me a list of all the boats that
travelled through these coordinates.

Then, the deputy superintendent here
who didn't do anything must apologise.

- Silva! What's up?
- I've got news. Can you talk?

Sugar?
Of course I like sugar.

And rice cakes.

- We're getting a priority target.
- What's this about?

You're not going to believe this,
but Xavier Cruz is paying us a visit.

- Xavier Cruz? The drug dealer?
- Yes, Xavier Cruz.

The FBI issued a confidential warning
that he may pass through Portugal.

What do the FBI guys know about that?
They don't even know where Portugal is!

It all seems legit. Actually, tomorrow
there's an FBI agent arriving.

Someone called Sam Folkes.

What's he going to find here?
A ham sandwich and a glass of wine?

- Well, I'm just letting you know.
- I know! I know!

The police will take care of it.

- Did you get what you'd asked for?
- Yes! The whole family loved it.

Tonight, I'm getting the kids
to assemble the shelves. Take care!

Do you remember those necklaces
I asked you to give to my wife?

I need those. It's my little darling's
birthday tomorrow.

I don't understand
why the champagne.

Why? I've been chasing
you for months.

After 17 no's, there's not enough
champagne in the world!

Only seventeen?
Are you sure?

I'm not counting that time you told
me to go fuck myself. Sweetly!

I'm not easy.
I have my reasons.

I'm not criticising you.

In any way, if I say something that
you don't like, it's good champagne!

Don't waste it here, aim here!

- I see through you!
- Through me? What do you see?

Those guys that say some funny
lines just to get us into bed.

Will you believe me if I say
I don't want to get you into bed?

- No.
- It's settled then.

You're going too far.
I've still got champagne in my glass.

Good evening! Green pea soup
with chorizo foam. Enjoy!

Thank you!

Look! Ducks!

I'm exhausted, but I loved dinner!
Thank you.

- Well, I loved the company.
- Are you late for something?

No! You know, when the sun sets,
I lose track of time, I get confused.

Right! The sun!

- I thought it was because of me.
- Who told you this was a watch?

Maybe this isn't a watch.
Maybe this is a compass.

Go back south.

Good night!

Good night!

- Have you seen the time?
- I'm here, aren't I?

- Is the guy here?
- The guy's been there for an hour.

This thing about having dinner at
Ms. Florinda's... You took so long!

Alex, don't you know what
old people are like?

First the soup, then the main course,
then dessert, and then coffee.

And, meanwhile, I'm completely
fucked up waiting for you.

Son of a bitch!

This is your gun.

What the fuck is this?

The well-known drug lord Xavier
Cruz has officially disappeared

after his brother was
found dead in Galicia.

You don't want these pictures
going around, do you?

No!

The so-called El Dedo is one of the most
famous drug dealers in Mexico.

The police suspect that he may have
been killed in a settling of scores.

And don't you dare involve
the police in this shit!

Or the whole country will know
that you have a Japanese dick.

Described as cold and vengeful,

El Dedo has killed hundreds of
opponents with his own hands.

You're going to be mine!
Mine!

... to put an end
to this wave of killings.

According to the FBI, there's
a top drug dealer on his way.

Or he might already be on
national ground. I doubt it.

But they don't seem to.

It's a folder containing papers.
There are papers inside.

You only get that
after a blowjob.

But Romeu here doesn't give blowjobs.
Romeu doesn't suck on anyone.

There's everything we know
about Xavier Cruz

and his connections to Spain
and Portugal.

Names, addresses, and even
pictures of his first communion.

A special FBI agent is arriving
in Portugal tomorrow.

He's been investigating and monitoring
this guy's activities for many years.

His name is Sam Folkes.

And what did Romeu think?

Romeu does think!
Romeu has white blood cells!

Let's show the cowboy that
this shit isn't a province of Spain.

Who's going to be the officer

welcoming the American
in cod country?

Tomorrow, you'll pick him up
from the airport, and Canhão...

If El Dedo is around,
you don't have a choice.

Get your hands on him.

Special police agents:
Alexandre and Cidalio.

It's a one-time opportunity
for the police force.

Zero mistakes.

Come here, fucking hell!

Good morning, gentlemen!

I would like to see footage from
your surveillance cameras.

You've got to be careful.

- Your face has been on TV.
- My careful days are over, Ricco.

Where is he?

I'm not sure.

According to information that
I've received, he's in Portugal.

- In Oporto.
- You should be sure.

Didn't that son of a bitch
kill your brother?

He knows his time...

There's something
I don't understand in all of this.

- Why? Why did he do it?
- What is there to understand?

It's about the money.
It's always about the money!

- Hello! Can I get you anything?
- No, thank you.

- And Oporto? Why?
- Why not?

It could have been Santiago,
Andorra, or Fuckville.

- If it were me, any hole would do!
- I'm not going to look around, Ricco.

- I need to be sure.
- Give me a couple of hours.

I'm just waiting for confirmation.

Here. I'll call you.

I don't want to trade a traitor
for another, you know that.

- You know you can count on me.
- Can I?

You can.

This is my chance.
You know that I'm ready.

Here.

It's the address
you asked me for.

I'm here to help you.

I'll keep my eyes open.

I'll be watching.

And remember this...

There's nothing in the whole world
to keep me from doing what I need to do.

Take care.

Go back. Let me take a look
at this guy in customs.

Stop! Zoom in.

This isn't an American film,
you can't zoom in that much.

Santos, bring in the guy who
was riding in the car with us.

Let me see all the other arrivals.

Follow these men to the exit.

Stop! Go back.

Stop here!
Zoom in on those two men.

Canhão, he's gone!

Canhão likes pieces.

He likes little pieces that
will eventually form a puzzle.

And there is one thing that Canhão
certainly is: he's patient.

On the other side are Alex and
Cid with the American

like a calf caught by a cowboy
with a lasso.

What now?
Now's the time for eating beef.

Deputy!
Here's the guy.

Get lost!
Go and feed the ducks.

Mum!

Mum!
The American's here!

Fucking hell!

The American's small!
He's the same height as you!

That's right.

- Yeah! Your Portuguese is good!
- No, it isn't.

- No, he doesn't.
- You're welcome.

Listen, I made dinner
about an hour ago.

- And you don't even call?
- I got held up at work.

Don't you dare talk to me like that!
I'm not one of your whores!

Alright, I'm sorry, mummy! I'm sorry!
I won't talk like that anymore, okay?

Go and set the table, okay?

- Go on!
- Come on, let's go.

- Dinner's on the table!
- Yes, mum!

I already told you.
Something came up.

Every day you find an excuse.

There isn't a single day that
you come home on time.

- You know very well that...
- I don't want to know, Alex!

Go and watch your documentaries
and don't do my head in.

It was right here,
in the heart of Oporto,

where the so-called charm rapist
attacked his most recent victim.

As always, his weapon
of choice was a knife.

And as always, he has left
his bizarre signature

by taking a piece of underwear
from his victim.

This is his thirteenth victim.
The police are hoping...

The alpha male didn't get
what he wanted.

Defeated, he goes back to his group,
where the lionesses are waiting.

They know very well
what he wanted.

To mate with a female from
their neighbour group.

During the mating season,

lions have intercourse
for four days in a row,

up to fifty times a day.

Xavier!

Hello, Enrique.

Can you smell the gun powder, Enrique?
Can you smell the hate?

It's all a misunderstanding.

My brother's death cannot be
a misunderstanding, motherfucker!

Let me explain.

You're in luck.

- It's not your fucking time yet.
- I didn't kill your brother!

Xavier, listen to me.

I didn't do it!

I didn't do it!

- Are you sure he was on that plane?
- He's on the passenger list.

The check in was verified and
he showed his passport.

They usually take time to answer,
but I'll report it to the FBI.

Yes, but I'm suspicious of
something much more serious.

What is it?

I think there was a leak and they
tried to lead the American astray.

That's very hard
to prove, Canhão.

And you know that pointing your finger
in this house is bad for business.

There's something very serious
to be taken into consideration.

I know. The American may be led
astray by members of Xavier's cartel.

That's right. I'll issue a warning,
but Canhão...

Keep your fingers to yourself and
focus on the guy from the airport.

If you catch him, you'll know
who led the American astray.

Gimme the cash!

- Take it easy, bro!
- I want the bag!

He's got professional training!

Fucking take it easy!

Good afternoon!

Hello!

- Spanish?
- Mexican.

- Where in Mexico?
- Tampico.

Could you come here, please?

- What's your name?
- I'm sorry?

Your name?
Do you have any documents?

Fernando Gomez.

My documents are downstairs.

Is smoking marijuana
legal in Mexico?

Yes.

Don't worry,
it's legal in Portugal as well.

But it's not legal to sell it.

Do you mind if I take
a look around?

Go ahead.

Hands up!

Turn around!
Turn around!

On your knees!
Let's go!

Don't move!

Look at this. We've warned him
so many times,

and here's our friend Júlio Ruca
with a bullet right through him.

I don't believe my eyes.

Xavier Cruz in my place.

We need to talk.

How did I know that he was such
a good fighter? I couldn't guess.

Look on the bright side.

Tomorrow the sun will shine,
all this will go away,

and your face will look
as good as new.

Here's the deal.

Arriving at his office.
Having lunch with a client.

In a hotel.

But then he met a guy
at the bar.

One evening he went out
for dinner with a woman.

That's when we thought
we had something.

But then her husband showed up.

It all seemed normal
until we found this.

Fucking bastard!
He swore he'd stopped gambling.

But he didn't.
And he's full of debts.

It's only natural for him not
to think about anything else.

He's a very wise man.
He knows very well how to hide.

If you ask me,
something doesn't feel right.

We didn't find anything.
We searched everything.

I dug deep.

Where did you go?

Deep?

- I want more flowers.
- Here we go again.

Me ending up in hospital
wasn't part of the deal.

You didn't even get
the guy's computer.

Of course I didn't because I was
savagely punched in the face.

So, you can tell Alex that
I want twice as many flowers.

And don't fuck with me!

Deep!

You know what, Chico?

I shouldn't be telling you this,
but no one likes you!

Why do you think that is?
Can you see any visitors?

This man was already here...
Visitors! Visitors!

Maybe there's a visitor here... No!
There isn't anyone! Do you know why?

Because no one gives
a shit about you!

Do you know what you should do?
You should walk to Fátima

to get rid of all those demons in
your head and start thinking straight.

Think about that shit.

What is this shit?

Where the fuck did you
bring me, motherfuckers?

This isn't how it goes.

You come into my night spot,
my house, and put a bag over my head.

You can't do that to me, dude.
I'm a businessman.

What the fuck are you?
Are you cops?

Have you heard about
illegal detention?

Illegal? Your outfit, all this,
this should all be illegal.

This should all be illegal, you...
Wait a minute.

Hello my darling!

Yes, I can...

What is it?

Yes, I can talk.
What is it, baby?

What is my little panther doing?

Painting your toe nails?

- Carlão Santos...
- King Negro, damn it!

To begin with,
my name is King Negro!

I've seen your face somewhere.

Where are you going?
You haven't been discharged yet.

For someone who doesn't know anything,
you seem to know a lot about me.

Yeah, I have this problem,
I never forget a face.

I've been thinking and thinking,
and I've just remembered you.

Don't trust your memory.
There's a lot of stuff in your head.

You must be hallucinating.

Please don't badmouth my stuff.
You'll hurt my feelings.

Especially since we both know that
you've had a lot of it up your nose.

Hallucinating?

I even remember Mr. Cop over here
being kicked out, isn't that right?

You were dumped
by the police force.

I know about your past, kid.
I know who you are.

The only thing I don't understand is
what you're doing with this gringo.

He was never one and
he'll never be one.

- Here you go.
- Thank you!

I know this boy, he used
to date a friend of mine.

He did?
He's gay!

- He's not gay!
- I'm 100% sure that he's gay.

He can't be.

If he's gay, he hasn't come out
of the closet yet.

He's not out of the closet because
first he needs to open the letter.

- Open what?
- The letter.

To an unforgettable night!

So, explain the letter.

- The letter?
- Yes.

The letter's a mechanism.
It works like this...

Imagine that you're gay.

You're not going to come out
straight away.

You're ashamed about your parents,
about what your friends might think,

the whole society thing.
So, you hide it.

Until one day, you come home,

you open the door
and there's a letter.

- What kind of letter?
- It doesn't matter.

He knows what's in the letter.
Only he can see it.

It's there waiting
for him to open it.

- That's weird!
- And you know what the best thing is?

He could just ignore the letter.
He could even rip up the letter.

But it'll be there the following
day when he gets home.

Intact. Waiting for him.

That sounds like Harry Potter.
Tell me, what does the letter say?

I don't know,
it's a free pass, a permit.

When he finally gets the courage
to open the letter,

then he can come out
of the closet.

The bill!

Do whatever you want with me.

Except in the arse!

Stop! I don't want that!

I know where you work and live,
and I know that you married money.

And we both know that you're
cheating on your wife. So...

You don't want to lose her
parents' inheritance, do you?

What do you want?

You're going to send a thousand
euro notes to this address.

- Every month.
- Every month?

He has cleaned the Portuguese and
Spanish ringleaders in just a few days.

What do you think he's going to do now?
Is he going to try to escape?

He might, but he might also try to get
someone here to replace them.

- Has the boat been identified yet?
- We've got people asking questions.

- What's the matter?
- It's nothing!

- Just tell me what's the matter!
- It's nothing! Just some shit!

Searching for a woman
who fills your soul is...

- It's fucked up.
- You're telling me!

What happened?

- Didn't she have a pearl up her...
- Okay! You took long enough!

I already told you that
it's not what I want!

What matters here is finding someone
willing to break down barriers.

Someone willing to cross limits
and go further beyond...

There's movement!

- Call the guys, man!
- What guys? Oh...

K3, anyone listening? Over...

This is a national emergency number.
Please, change your frequency. Over!

Okay, K3, follow that car!

Follow the guy! Follow the guy we're
talking about. It's raining tomorrow.

You're taking over
a national emergency line.

Please change your
frequency immediately.

Don't lose that car! Follow that shit!
Braised chicken and rice.

For the last time, please change
your frequency immediately.

You're taking over a national
emergency line. Fucking hell!

Alpha, Tango, Charlie, Rafa,
suck my dick!

Change the frequency.

J1 moving. The eagle is flying.
Over!

Roger! J2 moving.The falcon
is in the horizon. Over!

The band is on the road.

Now, all we need is
to test the instruments.

Let's go!

Fuck, man!

J1, the eagle is escaping, over!

J1 in the fast lane.
The eagle's flying. Over!

J1 has taken exit 23.

I saw him!

It's a classic!
It never fails!

J1, road 38,
eagle escaping, over!

Eagle, go fuck yourself!

- Go!
- But we just hit a guy!

Go!

A man was run over.
I request medical emergency.

I need info from the speed cameras
on a vehicle with licence plate...

Do you need anything?

I do.

I need your car.

- Hello?
- Come alone.

The vehicle was located on exit 83
in the fast lane of N41 going north.

Did you hear that?

Route 41 going north?
I wonder what's up there!

- What happened to your face?
- Nothing happened.

It's still as beautiful as ever!

To all units, the vehicle was detected
near the old juice factory!

I know where he is!

Fucking hell!

We've located the vehicle.
We need a security perimeter.

We have a deal!

Great! I know I'll make you
a whole lot of money!

I like that.

Money doesn't make any noise.

- Get me the product, I'll do the rest.
- I'll send it to you.

Good. The time has come.
We've got company.

- Bye, Xavier!
- Bye!

Hands up! Police!

- Is it really the police this time?
- On your knees, now!

Take it easy!

You need to train your good manners.
The Portuguese police are very rude.

- Yeah, I know we're very harsh.
- I agree.

And there's nothing ruder
than being late.

GNR! Drop your weapon now!

Drop your weapon now!

Drop your weapon now!

Fuck, Alex! I wasn't made
for all this running around.

What?

A cop who used to be one
and a cop who never was.

You've got nothing on us.
Nothing. So...

You meddled in
a police investigation.

What about evidence?
Do you know what that is?

That shit you've got
to show the judge.

- You've got zilch!
- Carrying illegal firearms.

Carjacking, kidnapping...
We've got a long and beautiful list.

Not to mention your friend
Chico from the airport.

I just don't understand why two such
nice guys are chasing El Dedo.

That's who we are.
We care about society.

My mother has raised her son
with all the right values.

Then your mother won't be pleased
about visiting her son in jail!

No one needs to go to jail.

Even more so because
you can't talk when you're inside.

- You can't explain some things.
- Who says you're telling the truth?

- You need to have some trust.
- That's a problem, I don't trust you.

Hey, you tourist.

What's he saying?

Wait...

- What's he saying?
- He's saying that he's a cop.

He's a panty snatching cop!

And where is your friend,
Sam Folkes?

I don't trust you either.

- So, I don't know.
- Then, I'll tell you what I know.

I know you got your friend Chico

to go to the airport and
pretend to be the American.

I know that you and your friend
have been chasing Xavier.

The only thing I don't know
is who hired you.

Monopoly. Do you like playing
Monopoly, Inspector?

There's a get out of jail free
card in that game.

- Can't you see this isn't a game?
- I can help your investigation.

I can make things easier.
I have names. I have information.

- I don't need your help!
- Canhão! Can you come here, please?

We found the jeep used by
Xavier near the factory.

We also have info that the stolen car
has been seen heading to Spain.

We think it might be Xavier.

Warn the Spanish authorities.

And bring this guy in here.

Two maritime police officers
are also missing.

Can I use the card, Inspector?

The card?
What card?

Xavier...

Xavier!

- Don't you know how to knock?
- I do, Romeu. But I want to warn you.

- Warn me?
- I'm investigating all your arrests.

And when I say all,
I really mean all of them.

- But is there a reason?
- I think you've ordered those arrests.

The only thing I order is pizza
with pepperoni and extra cheese.

Arrests made by people who aren't cops
under your command, your guidance.

Those are serious
accusations, Canhão!

So serious that only someone
with neurophysiologic

and psychopathological
conditions would think of them.

Are you sick, Canhão?

Superintendent,
have you seen Ferreira?

If you bring your A-game,
you certainly don't expect to lose.

And you don't expect to die if you have
control over your wounded enemy.

In this game, those who play
by the rules don't always win.

And as this game comes to a close,
everyone expects a king to checkmate.

Never a pawn.

SPAIN

Good morning!

Thank you.

I want to ask you a question.

What is it?

What did I do wrong?

Why didn't you say anything? Why did
you leave me by myself without a word?

- That's a lot of questions.
- Too many sleepless nights.

Not knowing whether you were alive.
Didn't you think I'd care?

- I did what I had to do, Maria.
- What? Leave me behind?

- No. Let you have a decent life.
- Why didn't you let me decide?

Decide what?
There's nothing to decide, Maria,

there's never been anything
to decide, for God's sake!

What life could I have given you?
Have you thought about that?

What could I have given you?

A life filled with fear,
always looking behind you.

Waiting for death to be around
the corner at any given moment.

Is that the life you want?
It's the only life I could give you.

It should have been my decision
because I didn't choose to love you!

Maria...

- Do you know the name of the boat?
- No.

Then, what are we looking for?

We're looking for a boat, and
that's what we're gonna do.

- What's wrong?
- Nothing. I'm just imagining things.

- What things?
- It doesn't matter.

- Come on, tell me!
- Nothing, I'm just frightened.

When I came in, I had the feeling
that I was being watched.

- What did you actually see?
- Don't worry about it.

Forgive me! Forgive me!
Are you okay?

- Yes.
- I'm sorry!

- What are you doing?
- I need a cell phone.

- I've got to go, Maria!
- Why? You're too weak!

You're going to have many
problems if I stay.

- What if I want to have problems?
- This isn't a game, for God's sake!

Sooner or later they'll know I'm here
and they'll come after me!

- You're weak and you might get worse.
- That's the last thing on my mind.

Just like that, without looking back.

Are you going to make
the same mistake again?

Are you going to leave me again?

Yes, today.

But this time I swear
that I'll be back for you.

You're the best thing that's
ever happened to me.

Let me help you.

Looking for a boat without knowing
its name is called being stupid.

You don't need to look anymore.

Did you find the boat?
Did you find Popeye's boat?

- It's a white boat back there.
- How do you know?

Because it's the only boat in this
harbour with blood stains on it.

- Maria? What's going on?
- I need help!

Xavier.

Antonio, this is Xavier.
He needs to leave Spain.

Don't tell me what he's done.
I don't want to know.

If he stays here, he'll die!

How can you ask this of me?
You know that I can't.

You're the only one
who can help us.

I'm sorry, but I can't!

You know what love is!

The Guardia Civil!

Good evening.
Your documents, please.

Calm down, it's going to be fine.

Guardia Civil!
Guardia Civil!

Guardia Civil!

Good evening,
what are you doing here?

We're visiting a sick friend.

I'm sorry. We're looking for someone
and we need to check every car.

Of course, I understand.
Do I need to get out of the car?

Please, God...

No, there's no need.

Father, I'm sure you don't remember,
but you baptised my grandson, Juan.

Oh yes, of course!

It's alright, you may go.
Have a good night!

Thank you very much.

Fuck, Alex! There's nothing here.
Let's go, man!

I'll go and see if anyone's coming.

- Are we near the cathedrals?
- Yes. I'll check on Xavier.

Maria...

Calm down!

- Good evening, captain!
- FBI. Where's "El Xavier"?

- Who?
- El Dedo. Where is he?

I don't know.

But even if I knew,
I wouldn't tell you fools!

- Search the guy.
- My love, get on your knees.

On your knees!

Don't you worry, no one's
touching your family jewels.

I just want to see if you've got
anything here... Bingo!

A gun!

The gun, the gun, the gun...

You can come out now.

Thank you.

- Where's Maria?
- Over there.

Maria?

Maria.

Maria!

Why?

Why?

Why?

Why?

- I could have died!
- It was only a scratch! Cid!

- Are you sure?
- It was only a scratch!

- Here.
- I'm going to die!

Does your mobile
phone have GPS?

It's done.

- What more do you want?
- I want to stop living with this hate.

Hate?

What hate?

You don't remember, do you?

Don't you feel any remorse
for what you've done?

I don't know what
you're talking about.

I'm talking about your past,
your crimes.

I'm not proud of my crimes.

But there are mistakes
you can't undo.

One of your mistakes has left
my life without meaning.

What are you talking about?

Do you remember robbing a bank
nearly twenty years ago?

Do you remember two people
being killed in this robbery?

Do you remember?

- Do you remember?
- Yes! I remember! I remember!

That was my wife
and my daughter.

You murdered my wife
and my daughter.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

You're sorry?

I waited 20 years for an explanation
and you tell me that you're sorry?

- What else can I say?
- Start walking.

- Start walking now!
- Where are we going?

Now!

Right, Alex, right!

I thought that I'd stop
hating in time.

That time would help me forget.

That God would help me
to forgive.

- But when I saw you...
- I already told you I'm sorry.

- I don't know what else I can do.
- Don't ever underestimate hate.

It'll be waiting watchful.

Then, one day... Your brother
walked into my church.

Filipe praying in my church.

My brother?

- What did you do?
- I did what I had to do.

- Did you kill my brother?
- Just like you killed my daughter.

No remorse.

Fuck!

Calm down, Alex! In 20 minutes
the Classic will be back to normal.

Fuck!

Alex!

Isn't it ironic when a vengeful man
is the target of a vengeance?

How did you know
that I'd be back?

Love.

Love makes us make mistakes.

And I knew that the woman
you loved was here.

Why did you have to kill Maria?

- She's not to blame for my mistakes.
- Collateral damage.

Just like my wife
and my daughter.

The sun is rising.

And a new life also
begins for me.

This is how it goes.
You go that way.

We'll meet back here
in ten minutes.

Sure! Sure! Of course!

If I find the guy,
I'll just call him names.

Already this early?

So sweet!

No, I'm in Spain.
The land ofnuestros hermanos!

No, I'm in a beautiful beach.
Really beautiful, but it's so cold!

I bet you're in bed, right?
You're in bed wearing that nightie.

What about your panties?
Which ones are you wearing?

You're not wearing any panties?

You naughty girl!

Hello!

Hello!

"Do you have GPS
on your mobile phone?"

Alex!

You motherfucker!

Alex!

Why don't you stop pretending
to be a zombie and do your job?

Good morning, Inspector!

- Anything to declare?
- Just a few sweets for the kids.

It looks like I'll be confiscating
the product in that boot.

It's a sign of the times. We can
no longer trust the toffee from Spain.

- Can we go?
- Of course, on foot!

What?

We're seizing this car.

- But inspector, the deal was...
- Two!

You've got two minutes
to get out of my face, okay?

Not every move goes
according to plan.

Not every tactic can
guarantee the best results.

And when we come face
to face with our own defeat,

we don't have to throw
in the towel.

There will certainly be an
opportunity to do better.

Or worse.

And when the dice are rolled
once again...

Will you be lucky?

Or will you suffer?

So, there's nothing like keeping
your eyes wide open.

You never know what
the next game will bring.

How do you feel after catching
the most wanted man on the planet?

I'm ready to catch the next one.

And they say...

... there are no happy endings.

The Fart has saved Planet Earth!